Yesterday was planned. Short overtime duty at work, do a couple of missions then straight on the pre-match booze. As I headed to Santander 3 lads approached. One pointed at me, laughed and announced “look, it’s him off The Simpsons”. I do love an odd incident and I really should have stopped to ascertain which character he meant. Hope it wasn’t Hans Moleman.

Anyway in the bank I paid some money into my savings account which I can assure you never happens. I’m expecting a letter in the next couple of days saying “there has been some very unusual activity on your account”.

Upon leaving the bank I switched to plan b. I was drained after leaving work so I sacked off the other mission and the booze and went home. I had a mossiv mug of tea and two hours in, sorry on bed instead.

I called a taxi and was soon headed to the ground. This driver unlike his counterpart in Solihull had heard of Walsall FC so no discussions were needed. In fact the driver didn’t speak other than to clarify destination and ask for his fare which I was more than happy with.

As I approached the turnstile Mase emerged out of a room that I hadn’t even noticed was there before. I was initially concerned thinking was it a medical treatment room, but it turned out to be where the free water station was. So I had me a pint of that. I’ll drink anything if it’s free.

I was in my seat not long after kick off and I was asked by people around me had I got suncream on my head. In my rush to leave the house I hadn’t given it a thought. Ross handed me a bottle of factor 50 and I got to work. Upon finishing I turned round to hand him the bottle back, and missed the goal. I duly added this to the list of bizarre reasons I have missed a goal.

Upon returning to my seat for the second half Jayne Mason kindly provided me with a hat so my head is fine this morning, both internally and externally.

Stevenage equalised in the 10th minute of 8 minutes stoppage time which was annoying as I though we’d just about ground out the win.

Back to the Bescot Bar and I ordered myself a Madri and Swill a Carling. I also decided to have a pie at a cost of £3.80. Once the card payment had gone through another member of staff piped up “oh, the pies have been reduced to a pound. Would you like 4?”. I wasn’t really feeling eating 4 pies but I do like a bargain and I was sure someone would help with eating them so I said yes. One of the main gripes of Walsall fans is pies running out before half time. I don’t know if the order had been duplicated this week but suddenly there was an outbreak of them. A lady appeared with boxes and boxes of them. I couldn’t tell if she was giving them away or selling them for a quid but suddenly I had competition for shifting my 4. Swill finally agreed to have one of the chicken balti ones whilst I tucked into the two steak ones.

All of a sudden there was a mass exodus. Had they stopped serving? Did they want to clear tables to make way for some more pies? Was Patsy Kensit outside? Stewards appeared and said we had to evacuate due to “an emergency”. Emergency or not, I wasn’t leaving my pint (even though I could see people walking out with theirs) so I downed it. I also didn’t know how long we would be waiting for a taxi so I dashed off for an emergency piss. This done I headed for the door only to be told they were letting everyone back in. I didn’t even get to enjoy the emergency outside. The shutters on the bar went back up and the beer flowed again. Swill tried to find out what the issue was and a suspicious package was mentioned. The only thing suspicious at Bescot yesterday was the stoppage time.

The bar closed so Swill and I grabbed a taxi to town. Upon arrival Swill couldn’t get the door open and had to ask the driver for advice. I just sat there humming the theme tune to The Crystal Maze which I’m sure he appreciated. Although I had struggled to even get in the cab to start with as the ledge to stand on was missing so I wasn’t really in a position to throw stones but when does that ever bother me?

We went to St Matthews Hall, the Walsall Wetherspoons and had a pleasant pint outside. I also ate the final balti pie while the staff weren’t looking. I remembered my trip to Evesham where I only had enough time left to grab chips or a final pint so I did both and was told off for eating the chips in the Wetherspoons.

We headed to Katz. Matt Stacky was outside with a few other Walsall fans. He gestured towards his crisps announcing “you can’t beat these massive bags of Monster Munch”. Those bags are all well and good until you buy a pack as I did before the Hartlepool game and nobody wants one and you have to eat them all yourself. Even as a crisps lover that is a big job.

The night was rounded off with a Madri or two in the Walsall Arms then it was back to bed with the fan on.

Decent day. The sun had certainly got his hat on, and I was glad to have one for the second half.