Evo Boozy Scribbler

Happy Easter Sunday. I’d grab your Mini Eggs Easter Egg and grab a cuppa, then settle down and read another 3 of my Walsall food reviews.

Youngs Cafe, 120 The Green, Darlaston, WS10 8JP. Reviewed 14/02/26.

Valentines Day didn’t get off to a great start. I slipped on ice, flying off my doorstep and landing on my back on the path. It must have looked a bit like Marty McFly at the start of Back To The Future, without the guitar and amp though. Craig, who had stopped at mine after a mini Walsall pub crawl the night before was disappointed to have only seen the landing. Had he seen the whole performance, I reckon he would have scored it highly like a judge at the then ongoing Winter Olympics. We’d just won our first God medal there and I think this flying performance with it’s technical elements would have been in podium contention.

I can only assume my postman also slipped on the ice and had to run off to A&E before he had chance to deliver all of my Valentines Day cards. I then tried to get in the wrong car. Someone had parked where Craig usually parks when he stays, so it wasn’t my fault.

Anyway you came here for food reviews. The plan that day had been to visit a cafe in Willenhall. I’d offered to pay for Craig’s breakfast if he came with me. Basically I wanted to go Willenhall without using the 529 bus. We got there about 12.20, started to peruse the menu only to be told they’d closed at 12. I didn’t check the opening times beforehand, I just assumed it would be open.

Back in the car and we needed a plan b. Craig didn’t want to go back the way we’d come due to some temporary traffic lights so we headed towards Portobello island. I knew there was a cafe on Pinfold Street in Darlaston which used to get mentioned regularly on Beacon Radio. I didn’t know it’s name so took advantage of another traffic delay to hit Google. Up came a cafe on The Green In Darlaston, which was showing as open until 1.30. We bombed it down The Keyway, and other than trying to direct Craig onto the Tesco carpark, it was a successful jaunt and we were soon strolling into Youngs Cafe.

New tick on me this one, didn’t know it was there but my coach to the hellhole that was St Thomas More School back in the 80’s went past this everyday so it was nice to make a visit.

Menu was expansive. Biggest meal was called The Hangover Breakfast. They also do a sharebox breakfast for £20 which works out with more toast and black pudding along with chips than two hangovers for just a quid more so we pondered this. I had 3 concerns. (1) chips don’t belong on a full English. (2) would the tomato be solid or the sloppy sort which miht contaminate my half of the box. (3) chips don’t belong on a full English. Appreciate I’ve said that one twice but it’s worth reiterating. We went for 2 Hangovers at £9.50 each. Neither of us were hungover but I loved the name, so bring it on.

Service was friendly, with the cutlery being handed to us with the line “here’s your tools”, which I loved.

Food came quickly and was really good. The salt and pepper pots had handles which was novel. I’m still on the black pepper fad as previously mentioned. Loved my food. Craig’s favourite was the fried bread and said the eggs could have been a bit more yolky but it was hearty and he didn’t have to eat for the rest of the day. (I did and it came in the form of Tesco Finest Butter Chicken and a bit of cake I’d been given at work the previous day – cheers Kerrie).

Music was provided by Smooth Radio with Heart’s “Alone” being my pick and “The Way It is” by Bruce Hornsby and his actual Range being Craig’s.

My mind is always drifting off to Randomland and during munching I wondered who had won the most events in Wacky Races. I raised this and Craig got on the case, so look away now if you don’t want spoilers. The Ant Hill Mob, Peter Perfect, Penelope Pitstop and Lazy Luke & Blubber Bear all got 4 wins, whilst The Slag Brothers in The Boulder Mobile got the most podium finishes which I commented must have got them the constructors title.

Bill came to £20 which was two breakfasts, tea and a can of Orange Tango. Craig thought I’d been undercharged. Great visit this, and we departed at 1.26, 4 minutes before closing. It’s open 7 days a week and it’s worth a visit. No toilet that I could see though.

Dine & Wine Buffet Restaurant, Townend Street, Walsall, WS2 8LP. Reviewed 28/02/26.

Situated in what was Watsons Wines back in the 1980’s and my god was I a regular there. I delivered the Walsall Advertiser. I wasn’t on the plonk just yet.

It was Kiddisave and a furniture shop before becoming Dine and Wine in 2019. I went once, loved it. Said “I’m coming here regularly”, going once more before Covid and then not at all since. I needed a revisit.

I’d had an early morning visit to The Light Cinema to watch Scream 7 (despite having not watched Scream’s 2- 6) and I tell what, watching some people get killed doesn’t half give you an appetite. Chris timed his drive to Walsall perfectly and he picked me up outside Asda Living and off for some munching we headed.

It’s cheaper to dine of an afternoon so we marched in, paid up and were escorted to a table. It was already busy which was good to see. We started marauding. Got to be honest, I was nearly full from the starters. Chris flagged up the curry section, tucked away round the back and asked if I’d be going there. I confirmed that I intended to work the whole room having not done so on the previous two visits. .

The battered fish was epic, I could have cleared the tray of that (like I did once at Fiesta World Buffet which I’m still ashamed about). Chris caught me sifting the onion out of the Chinese Chicken curry and I confirmed that this was exactly what I was doing.

Music was good although it was interrupted by a loud and very long blasting of Happy Birthday To You. Brought back Covid memories and Boris saying that you had to wash your hands while singing that song.

I nearly chocked on honey roast pork when Chris showed me that Walsall were winning at Shrewsbury, a scoreline that I wasn’t expecting.

After a couple of visits to the main food station I went around the back. The chicken tikka had a bit of a kick which had me reaching post haste for the Pepsi Max, and I also had a bit of Sushi as I’m a bit of a ponce.

Bit of lemon cheesecake with a successful use of the chocolate fountain, although a previous user hadn’t been quite as adapt with it and had got chocolate over a good portion of the surface. I totally missed the ice cream machine until I saw someone walk past with a bowl so I made a beeline for that. Even shaking my hips in a gyrating motion to match the swirl of the ice cream. My hips don’t lie. Actually they do, they talk absolute bollocks.

There is a vip room upstairs which I hadn’t noticed before. I shall certainly be booking that either when I’m a famous writer or Mayor of Walsall. Which ever comes first.

Decent visit this. Think it was £18.60 for the lunchtime buffet and a Pepsi Max (refillable). It is licensed but we were both on pop. I need to go more often but be waned, it’s cash only.

Caffe 41, Unit 41 Pleck Road Walsall WS2 9XX. Reviewed 25/03/26.

New cafe which recently replaced Manor Cafe in the same unit. Opposite The Manor Hospital where I work so will be handy if I ever forget my lunch. My colleague Carole and I decided to make a dinner time visit. Someone at work said they had ordered from there and we awaited her feedback. She reported it as “bostin”. Turned out it was fake news as she’d actually got her food from Premier Diner on Queen Street, which I’ve already reviewed here.

Carole and I headed over. We’d already had some excitement that day in the form of a fire drill, so this visit was just sending those levels in me through the roof.

Caffe 41, named I assume after the number of the unit it resides in, although I was hoping it was something more exotic like all the staff are massive fans of the band Sum 41 or something like that.

A sign on the door advised 10% discount for NHS staff. These guys clearly know their target market. First impressions, well it’s been totally done out from the Manor Cafe era. Carole commented on how clean it was, the nice ambience (first time I’ve used that word in a review I think) and that they clearly had a vision when designing the place. The ceiling had a variety of different lampshades, identical to what they did in The Three Wishes in Pinner. See here for that blog if you want a picture.

Now, I really don’t like taking pictures when I do reviews. Even exterior ones in case I get seen. It scares me. Carole however had no such qualms and got to work snapping away like one of Fleet Street’s finest paparazzi. I need to hire her for more reviews.

There are two bookshelves. My mind drifted to the day I’ll be able to leave The Manor due to one of my novels sitting on that shelf.

I asked about breakfast and was told it finished at 12. They followed up with that not being strictly set in stone but I missed that vital caveat as I switched off after the first part and was now looking round for material. Good job Carole heard it and relayed.

I went for a chicken and stuffing baguette. This comes with 3 salad options, which I turned down quite quickly. I also went for an English Breakfast Tea, glad that didn’t stop at 12. Carole went for a cheese toastie. We got loyalty cards for the drinks, after a quick check with the 4th official to see if my tea qualified for one.

We took a seat. Smooth Radio was playing and a television was showing Sky News which was reporting on some deaths. Standard.

Food came quickly and the baguette was well filled and with actual chicken not the processed slices you get in some places. Carole said her cheese toastie was “lovely.”

I was reflecting on a successful visit and ready to return when Carole played a blinder and asked if I wanted cake. Oh go on then. So she shouted us both some. I went for lemon cake and she had lemon and blueberry blondie. She described her cake as “gorgeous” and mine was amazing. I tucked in whilst watching a sudden hail storm and peoples responses to it..

Song of the visit was going to be Nik Kershaw “Wouldn’t It Be Good” until it was usurped at the last second by “Nothings Gonna Change My Love For You.”

The time went so quickly and suddenly we realised we had something like 11 minutes to get back to work. We’d come out the back way and walked along Pleck Road on the way in but I suggested we go in the front way this time then if we were late we couldn’t be sacked as we were “on company property.” We made it back on time.

Great visit this. You know what? I might just pop there again and hold them to that after noon breakfast claim. Friendly staff, clearly had hospitality training in Carole’s view and it made for a very pleasant dinner break. Right, I gotta go. I need to find my loyalty card for when I’m back at work on Wednesday.

I’ve never seen a show in London. In truth I’ve not seen many in the West Midlands either having come into the theatre life at a late stage. It never bothered me, the London thing per se and it wasn’t on my bucket list, but then I started to get adverts for Back To The Future The Musical on my Facebook feed, and it just had to be done. It was at The Adelphi Theatre on The Strand. This got me thinking.

If you know me you will know me and some friends attempted the London Monopoly Pub Crawl in 2009 which you can read about here. We failed it but had a great weekend. I’ve always wanted to do it again, and one of the last things my mom bought me before she died was a brand new board to get ticked off. It’s sat in my cupboard for 13 years since, but maybe I could do the crawl again, not in one go and not just pubs. The Adelphi Theatre could be a great tick for The Strand. I got to work.

I booked time off work (April 1st – first day of new annual leave allowance), a decent hotel just 9 minutes walk from Euston and a first class train ticket. I really can’t afford show tickets and first class trains but at the time it was Council Tax and Water bill free months so thought ‘what the hell.’ Plus, in the very unlikely event that someone in the theatre would strike up conversation – it would have to be them, it’d never be me, and they asked “how did you get here?” I liked the idea of being able to say “first class train sweetie. Fabulous darling.” Oh, I’m turning in Edina Monsoon.

On the day (Wednesday just gone) I took full advantage of the first class lounge at New Street, with plans to do the same at Euston. I appeared to be the only person to use the full allocated 2 hours, by some distance. As soon as I got on the train I was presented with coffee and shortbread. As departure time hit, there were only two other people in the carriage. Perfect. A nice, quick peaceful journey was incoming. As I perused the menu for the complimentary food, an announcement rang out. “Signal issue at Watford. We can’t set off and there is no further update at the moment.” Not quite how they worded it. It’s a god job the train at the end of Back To The Future 3 wasn’t subject to signal issues.

50 minutes later, with no sign of any staff during that period – another announcement rang out. Basically train cancelled, get off the train. Go to Moor Street and Chiltern Railways will get you to Marylebone. ‘Euston we have a problem’ I thought. Same day that NASA launched Artemis II.

Clearly not the April Fools prank I had started to think it was, I departed. Pocketing the shortbread I’d been given. I love Moor Street, it’s up there with Walsall and Duddeston as my favourite railway stations but being totally honest, I wasn’t feeling seeing it at this moment.

I made it to Moor Street, just in time to see a train departing. Next one was an hour. Chiltern had also suffered disruption that morning with trespassers on the line. A course of action that I never understand. Yes we live on a small island, but there is plenty of room to trespass. You don’t need to do it on the railway.

I was grateful that someone had left a copy of The Metro on the train from Walsall and the minutes passed. Although I did go to the loo twice to kill some time. Train arrived and I got a great seat, a lone one at the back of the carriage. I didn’t think i’d be keeping it long though with hoards heading from New Street also seeking alternative travel. A bloke got on with a huge suitcase which he put on the seat next to him. ‘Good luck with that’ I thought. However, much to my surprise, there was no call for either mine or that blokes suitcase seat as we departed. At Dorridge – or it could have been Solihull, I wasn’t paying attention as I was buried in the Ben Aitken book Dear Bill Bryson, a couple got on. The suitcase went up above and the man sat down with his wife insisting he needed the now available seat more. In my world, a lady doesn’t strand while I am sitting so I offered my seat up. She initially said she was alright but I insisted. They were both very grateful. I only had to stand as far as Leamington Spa then a seat became available which I pounced on.

I arrived at Marylebone nearly 3 hours later than I should have got into Euston. I could certainly have made use of a car based time machine. Believe me I’m not moaning. I was grateful to Chiltern for getting me to London and I took to Twitter to thank them yesterday. There was a scrum as lots of people with QR codes for the barriers at Euston, tried to use the counterparts at Marylebone. Good job I hadn’t booked the matinee performance.

Marylebone is on the Monopoly board and it’s one of the properties we missed in 2009 so it was getting ticked off this time. I was planning to train into it in the Summer, but now here it was being promoted to first tick. I found a bar and paid £4 for half a Diet Coke – London prices but I channelled my inner Jessie J and forgot about the price tag. Foot note, not heard that song in decades then it came on in my hotel room the following morning courtesy of Heart FM. Bloke behind the bar was happy if not a little surprised to be asked to sign the board. He did so while Chappell Roan sang “Pink Pony Club.” I’d have joined in loudly had it been “Subway.”

I needed food so headed to Burger King. My order number was 1990 which made me think of that Guru Josh song “Infinity -1990’s Time For Guru” Not today Josh. 1990’s time for double flame grilled cheeseburger. The couple off the train were there so I asked them to take pics. I should have asked them to sign the middle of the board as I want signatures of people I meet but didn’t think to ask that. I’ll learn. My great mate Woza would have asked everyone in the vicinity. He’s good at it. I’m not.

I’d Googled how to get to Euston and didn’t have to wait more than a couple of minutes for any train, it’s just a brilliant network. Although some fellow commuters were quite impatient and barging past on the escalators. One lass did a cracking re-enactment of Richard Ashcroft in The Verve’s “Bittersweet Symphony” video nearly knocking me over from behind. I was stood to the right as well like instructed. The plan had been to go to Camden Town, and I did think I’d booked my hotel there only to find out I’d booked in the borough rather than the town.

Coming out of Euston and I took a wrong turn. Only turning round when I got to Great Portland Street tube, a station that brought back memories of last seasons play off final as we used it when getting to the pub during the “good”part of the day.

I turned round and eventually found the hotel. It only cost me a bit of time. It could have been worse. I saw a film once when a group of teens took a wrong turn and most of them got killed.

The man at the hotel was very welcoming and lamenting that I was only staying one night. He took my card details as “a precaution” in case I stole the tele or broke a window. I pointed out that I don’t watch tv so the chances of me stealing one were remote and that I don’t really smash hotel things. He was fine with this.

Back outside and I discovered tennis courts across the road. I must buy some tennis gear for my next visit in the Summer. Never played it in my life but always wanted to recreate that 1970’s poster with the tennis lass with her arse out.

Back on the Underground. Minimal fannying about and I was soon at Charing Cross, then wandering down The Strand. I did wonder if I’d get in with my Monopoly board. The theatre had sent an email the day before listing prohibited items and Monopoly boards were not amongst them. Security didn’t even ask what it was. I found a quiet bar and asked a nice lady serving to sign it. She was very happy to and remarked it was great what I was doing.

I made it to my seat with 9 minutes to spare, some cut it finer. Others wandered in after the start. I cared not. I was in the zone as soon as the band started playing that iconic theme tune. The show? Well it was stunning. Cast were magnificent. Marty and Doc will get the plaudits but they were all great with George McFly and Mayor Goldie Wilson having blinders too.

The set was stunning, special effects great and whilst the script relied heavily on the film there was some deviations with Doc commenting “I went to 2026. It was great, no traffic but they eat this green thing called Kale.”

The techies, lighting and sound guys all done well too, and the staff were friendly. At half time there were ladies with trays in the upper circle selling refreshments which I haven’t seen since the days of the ABC cinema in Walsall.

Biggest cheers of the night were Doc’s speech detailing the plan which ends with”sending you back to the future”, Biff getting flattened by George, the first kiss (I shed a tear at this) and when the car goes back to 1985 and leaves the flames trail on the stage.

The acting was great, as were the songs and dances. Musical Director and Choreographer must have been proud along with all of the production team. The audience bloody loved it. Loads of kids there, I’d go as far to say at least half the audience were not about when the film came out in 1985.

At the end when the DeLorean rose with the destination set for 7.30pm 01/04/26 it was magical. Probably the most stunningly visual show I’ve seen in a theatre.

Show finished at 22.09. and despite it being late I still only had to wait 2 minutes for a tube train at Charing Cross and was back at Euston at 22.30. Marvellous service.

What a day, well evening anyway. Best April Fools Day ever. I only got two ticks on the board, I was targeting all of the red set and Bow Street but they’ll keep.

To summarise. Show? Fabulous darling. First class train. Not so. I believe when this run at The Adelphi finishes on April 12th, the DeLorean is heading up the M1 and M6. You need to see this show. Do it. Even if it involves driving at 88 miles per hour.

I like curry. I may have eluded to this in the past, but I certainly didn’t inherit this from my parents. So it was time to get out there and get some more curry house reviews and spicy goodness, under my belt. Here are 3 excellent curry house visits.

Laboni, 10 Anchor Road, Aldridge, WS9 8QP. Reviewed 26/02/26.

Only been in his place twice before. Once around 12 years ago with the writing buddies and also after performing in the AMCS show Smokey Joe’s Cafe at Aldridge Youth Theatre in 2017. Both of those with my mate Nick Brick so it was only right to invite him on this jaunt along with his wife Michelle. I hadn’t seen them since their wedding day so there was much to catch up on.

Nick had asked if I’d booked and I happily confirmed that I hadn’t. Didn’t think I’d need to. It was a Thursday evening, with other curry options close to hand and it was pissing down for the 563rd day on the bounce. However, despite all of this it was busy and I was relieved that we got a table.

It’s not licensed but you can take your own alcoholic drinks which as I’ve mentioned before I refuse to do. Without looking at the drinks menu I opted for Pepsi Max. Then saw that they do” floater coffee” and I wanted in.

The poppadoms came quickly along with the biggest gravy boat of mint dip that I have ever seen. More than enough for all of us but other places could learn a lot from this place.

They do Nargis Kebabs so that was the main box to be ticked. On the table was an additional sheet of paper advertising their new range of starters including Cauliflower Pakora. Cauliflower is one of the most evil inventions ever so I wish them luck in shifting those.

The description for the chicken tikka massala advised the sauce as “elusive” which intrigued me. So I went for that along with the Nargis as standard. Naturally I had a gob full of poppadom when the waiter asked me for my order. I don’t do uncouth very often but when I do I proper go for it. I also broke poppadom in the mint dip which is standard for me.

I nipped upstairs to the loo and the starters were on the table as I returned. Very Pulp Fiction. Mia Wallace would have been impressed. The Nargis was excellent. We didn’t have to wait long for the mains. The sauce was not at all elusive, lots of it but then I clocked that I was a chapatti missing. I was horrified but never one to complain. Fortunately Michelle said she’d got one extra and saved the day. I could have done with one more the sauce was that un elusive. Food was delicious. Nick said his garlic mushrooms were “lovely and very filing” whilst his chicken tikka main was one of the best he’d had. He liked the nice atmosphere and excellent service too.

We got a chocolate with the bill which always earns bonus points and we split the bill 3 ways costing us each £22. Not having booze doesn’t half bring the bill down.

Great visit with top company. Thursday is normally gym day for me, so I thoroughly enjoyed this substitution.

Desi Fusion, 49 Anchor Road, Aldridge, WS9 8PT. Reviewed 11/03/26.

I’m currently on a mission to review all the curry houses in Aldridge town centre. I offered the lads the choice of 4. I’d had Butter Chicken on my mind since Scott Mills had been on about it on the Radio 2 Breakfast Show the previous Friday and I was having this regardless. The night before I was perusing the websites and saw this place did a great looking mixed grill. I wanted in and I knew that dangling the mixed grill carrot in front of Comedy Dave would get his vote. Please not the mixed grill does not include carrot.

I don’t think Desi Fusion has been there long. It certainly wasn’t a thing when I was still going to AMCS rehearsals and I only spotted it for the first time when John and I went to review Regards (which you can read here). Late edit, I checked the date thing on Google Maps Streetview and it opened between 2023 and 2024.

We met in Wetherspoons and after a vote Desi Fusion was selected. To be fair, I was prepared to go all despot world leader and rig the election if need be. I didn’t think it was licensed and upon entry this was confirmed but you can take our own. Sean was going to go and get bottles from The Turtles Head but when I said I wasn’t drinking he gave that a miss.

It was empty when we got there but soon started to fill up.

Comedy and I both went for the large mixed grill (£20) with me citing it’s tradition. “A good tradition” Comedy agreed. Such a good tradition that Tanita Tikaram could sing about it. Sean went for the boneless mixed grill at £24. Poppadoms first though and I went for an English Breakfast Tea which is a first in a curry house for me. Alcohol free beers like Peroni were available but you know, I like a cuppa.

The poppadoms came as like a basket of assorted sizes with 3 dips. I usually only go for the mint dip but had all three this time and all good. The red one had a kick, causing my nose to run. A good sign.

The food came quickly and I gave quite a camp “ooooh” causing Comedy to call me Kenneth Williams and as I inspected the salad picking a bit up he commented “It’s cucumber.” I think I’ve heard of that. Put it on your eyes to make them look amazing yeah? Sean studied his saying it was going to be like playing Jenga. He produced a king prawn asking “where the hell do they catch these?” I don’t know if king prawns have to go to the doctors for BMI checks, but the readings for these bad boys would have been off the scale.

Mid meal a lady appeared behind the counter who was really happy that we were on our first visit. “Welcome to Desi Fusion” she proclaimed. Nice touch that.

Music had a bit of an urban feel with fans of Rihanna being particularly well catered for. My favourite of hers, the one about chains and whips didn’t feature.

My mate Swill has a thing about curry houses where you can hear the music in the toilets so you can have a dance, and he knocks points off if you can’t. Delighted to say that hear you can here and it was my favourite Nelly song “Just A Dream” so I had a little dance as a nod to him and even took my first ever mirror selfie as I liked the mirror with built in light.

Sean and Dave both headbutted the lamp when standing up. Sadly I would have only managed this had I borrowed Noddy Holder’s platform shoes.

Back to the food then and we were all full and struggling. Yep, doggie bags were called for. When trying to do the transfer, I turned into like a shit Crystal Maze contestant and really struggled with this basic task. Shovel food into my big mouth? Easy safe. Try and transfer it in to a 9 and half inch square (I know this because I’m sad and have got no life so measured it when I got home) foil tray and it’s a shambles. I got onion all over my phone. “Why do you insist on making everything so hard for yourself?” asked Comedy. He knows me well. In the kerfuffle I forgot to put the cucumber in. My eyes will have to wait a bit longer to look amazing.

Great visit this. When looking at the menu, I thought ‘I could eat all of this, and I’d still like to so definitely will be going again. It opens for breakfast so may be all over that one day. Sean said it was great value for money and his mixed grill could have easily filled two people.

Jubilee House – Off Forge Road, Sandbeds Road, Willenhall, WV12 4HB. Reviewed 18/03/26.

Situated in what looks like a converted industrial unit, in a gotta know it’s there location – Jubilee House has been mooted by Josh as a “need to visit” for a while. So we did it for Pez’s birthday, albeit a week late.

Pez was already there when Josh and I arrived. They got down to watching highlights of the previous evenings Walsall match against Cambridge, which – totally unlike me, I hadn’t missed a second of live so I studied the menu. I was then caught eyeing up the array of pork scratchings behind the bar.

We moved into the main room. There was a big screen one end and a smaller one at the other, both showing Champions League. I sat with my back to the bigger one prompting to Pez to ask if I’d rather see the bigger screen, “Only if they were showing Television X” I replied.

Menus came out. Josh asked if a point was being knocked ff due to the lack of Nargis Kebab. I nodded. I opted for the large mixed grill. Standard. At the till, we all got a 15% discount which was as unexpected as it was pleasant. Deducted point duly reinstated, and added too.

Two lads came over and asked if we wanted any any specific match on the screens. I was asked my opinion and wondered if there were any games on in the Vauxhall Conference (I still call it that) they could show as that is more my interest level.

Food came quickly and it was great. Knowing how slowly I eat I think the lads were worried about telling their missus’s how late home they were going to be. But I got to work and finished in a respectable time. Loved it. Could have eaten it again. Good visit. Pez said it was quick, fairly priced with a good beer selection and it was like an Indian Working Men’s Club. Fair assessment. Great place. Liked it a lot.

You’ve got to love Fawlty Towers haven’t you? Loved the tv show and inherited the VHS box set from my parents. When I heard there was a stage show, I wanted in. I mentioned it to my colleague Carole who said she was going to see it that Saturday afternoon, having bought the tickets a year earlier. She came back saying it was hilarious and that she could have easily watched it again on the evening.

So I mentioned this to Swill and he got to work and sorted us tickets for The Alexandra Theatre in Birmingham. Epic.

I love the show. The daft, farcical humour really hits with me and back in 2013 I stayed in a pub in Bewdley with b&b facilities purely because the reviews said that the landlord was a love or hate him figure with some likening him to Basil Fawlty.

The day at work was a good one. My manager David is a big fan of the show and was coming out with catchphrases all day which got me in the mood. Next time I drop a bollock I might give a Manuel style “I know nothing” to see if that gets me off the hook.

I was meeting Swill on the train as he was getting on at Bloxwich (or Bloxwich Normal as it was called by the lady in the ticket office once as she was trying to deduce if I wanted a ticket to the town one or Bloxwich North. I’ve taken to calling it Bloxwich Normal since.)

I had time for refreshment so popped to Greggs and jumped on board the train with my large latte. “Where’s your sausage roll?” Swill demanded. “You can’t go to Greggs and not have a sausage roll.” I denied all knowledge for a minute or so then produced the empty sausage roll wrapper from my coat pocket. He knows me well.

Swill had planned food in Birmingham. I’d have been happy with a Waldorf Salad and a bottle of wine that was corked to get me feeling like a guest of Basil but he had Indian in mind. I had no issue with this.

En route to the restaurant we passed a couple of lads and as I had my headphones round my neck, one of them asked me “are you a dj?” “I wish” was my reply and it’s so true. My dream job since I was a kid, radio though rather than behind the decks of a super club.

I had no previous knowledge of Tamatanga on Navigation Street but Swill said it was decent and that was good enough for me. There was very friendly welcomes upon arrival and our waitress was great. Swill went for a proper meal (tandori chick-chicken – two chicken breasts with a side curry) while I just went for a couple of starters. Amritsari Fish Fry and Prawn Tempura. I was intrigued though by dishes called things like Luscious Lamb and First Class Lamb Chops and wanted to see if the food matched the titles claims but the starters I stuck with. I do however want to go and see Single White Female at The Alexandra in May, so I might do double lamb goodness then.

Whilst waiting for food we heard a commotion outside. Shouting, chanting and drums. There was a procession of Lille fans on their way to Villa park. Some banged on the windows and others pulled faces. I shouted “you were lucky in the 6 Nations.” They probably didn’t hear me but it needed saying.

Despite being busy, the food came quickly (quicker for Swill we noticed) and the metal cutlery came in it’s own packet which I really liked. Food was excellent. In hindsight I should have had an extra small plate but that would have been an odd number and I wouldn’t have been able to cope with that. As a nod to Monty Python I should have gone all Mr Creosote, absolutely stuffed myself and seen if one of the French people in town would offer me a wafer thin mint. I’m sure John Cleese would have appreciated that. Swill said his food was “amazing.”

Food devoured and enjoyed we paid up and departed. I’ve never been to The Alexandra Theatre before so it was good to tick it off. It was very busy inside as you’d expect. Swill headed for the bar and I rushed to the hot drink stall grabbing an English Breakfast Tea for £2.60 which was less than I thought it would be. We couldn’t see a programme seller though which was disappointing as I really wanted one.

We headed down to the stalls. Swill had played a blinder and got us 5th row tickets, although we walked to the wrong side of the theatre and had to scarper to the other side right in front of the stage. What a feeling. Carole in her review had commented about how much the cast looked like the originals in the television show and she was bang on. Polly was the first to appear and yes, she was like a replica.

The show is basically a merger of 3 or 4 of the tv episodes. So I knew a lot of the of the dialogue and despite this, it was still hilarious. My favourite bit was the exchange about the view out of a Torquay hotel window. Absolute genius. Swill’s report was the guy playing Basil was class and the exchange about the winning of the bet with Manuel and The Major was his favourite part. He would have liked a bit more of Manuel being hit with the spoon though.

Odd incident at half time. We left our seats as Swill was bursting for the loo so he dashed off while I fannied around checking that I’d got my glasses still in my coat pocket. I noticed him disappear into a side passage whilst I was doing my checks and when done I went to wait for him. The passage led to a little room with a disabled toilet. I waited and then two ladies arrived. “Are you waiting for the toilet?” one asked. “No, I’m waiting for my mate.” After what seemed a long time the door opened and an old lady with a walking stick came out. The two ladies waiting gave me a funny look as if to say, “that’s your friend?” Swill had seen the disabled toilet and dashed off upstairs looking for another one.

The second act just disappeared. The Germans showed up, which I think everyone was waiting for. The final scene and the total chaos of the fire drill was brilliant and I didn’t expect The Major to fire his gun. I’ve known some bizarre fire drills over the years so could totally relate to this.

The bows were epic. The cast were clearly loving it, applauding each other as they came out with Basil getting the biggest cheer followed by Manuel. All the cast were phenomenal though. It’s still on tour so I suggest you see this show. It’s superb.

Bit of drama at the end when Swill lost his phone. Swill and I are both partial to losing things although he is much better at it. With him it’s umbrellas and me it’s beanie hats so a mobile phone was a new one on both of us. Fortunately with the help of the light on my phone we found it under the seat. All good.

Walking out there were smiles all round. Sign of a good show.

We headed back to New Street and I took Swill in the London & North Western, the Wetherspoons on the station as he hadn’t ticked it off before. Not much to report in there, just people drinking and waiting for trains. Both in one or two cases I suspected.

On the train we got a table seat, sat opposite and had a proper in depth chat. Swill likened it to how Smith and Jones used to do it on the tele. At Walsall I bailed. Outside of the station there was a taxi. I had no desire to contribute to the current oil shortage fears so I marched past it and walked home smiling to myself from memories of the night. In hindsight, I should have taken the taxi just in the hope that it broke down. I could then have grabbed a branch, and in the words of Basil himself, given it “a damn good thrashing.”

Last Saturday didn’t really go to plan. I had wanted to go The Registry for breakfast as it was its last day opening before it closed for just under a fortnight for a change in management company. However I had exciting sausages from Asda (“exceptional” bacon & maple syrup pork sausages – not sure how bacon in sausages works but I needed to find out) in the fridge, and I got straight to work with them. I remembered my Registry plan only as these sausages were coming out of the air fryer. They were good but apologies to the chef at The Reg.

Walsall were away at Crewe that day. This is the gradest A of grade A away games, but this time I had to choose. I opted to use my Crewe budget for a theatre ticket to see Fawlty Towers in Birmingham later in the week, instead. I’ve changed.

Anyway, we won the match 3-0 which was pleasant so I was in a jubilant mood when Craig turned up. We wasted no time in heading to the pub. Black Country Arms to be precise. There was complimentary nibbles on the bar so I grabbed a sausage roll and a a slice of black pudding while Craig got drinks, then we headed upstairs. He’d got a pint of Pulp “Tequila Sunrise” and we both confirmed it was a great name for a brewery. His drink however was not really Tequila-ey or sunrise-ey. “Do you want to watch the Rugby?” Craig asked. “I’m not arsed. I would if we had a chance of winning the title.” My glory hunting isn’t just confined to football. Craig wasn’t too fussed either as he thought a heavy defeat was incoming.

I sat with my back to the screen but I glanced round while Craig was in the loo and I thought we had scored early on. By we I mean England, before people pipe up about my French granddad. Turns out it was France in a not much less white top than what we were wearing. On closer inspection it looked a very light blue top. I thought that France wore a dark blue kit at home. I know these 6 Nations matches come thick and fast but I thought they’d have time to get the normal home kit washed and dry between games.

We discussed the evenings plan of attack. The Registry were having a “drink the bar dry” party for the last night, so I fancied seeing how that was going, plus I wanted to tick off the new venture at WS1/Religion, now called WS1 Live Lounge. Katz was mentioned and he asked what was on at Walsall Arms and I said it was the monthly Northern Soul night which I wasn’t fussed about as I’m not a big fan.

Craig then starts naming great Northern Soul songs and I chipped in with suggestions including “Nowhere To Run” by Martha and The actual Vandellas. He confirmed this counted and I then had this in my head as I headed to the loo. Seeing the room empty I burst into a rendition only realising I wasn’t alone when I got to the hand basins to see in the mirror a bloke in the cubicle having the piss of his life who hadn’t shut the door. The roll a 6 to begin taps worked first time which cut the rendition short.

We got to the The Registry and it was deserted. I walked in tentatively and asked the bouncer somewhat timidly “are you open?” “We are, but we’ve got no draught beer left.” The drink the bar dry party had clearly been a success. Craig wasn’t feeling the lack of draught so we moved on.

The WS1 Live Lounge opens at midday with cheap beer prices and entertainment like singers, comedy nights and live sport screening – they have posted on their Facebook page targeting the pre Walsall match drinkers. There is an upper (rooftop??) area for dj’s and a games room. There were bouncers on and Craig, wearing shorts declared that we had 5% chance of getting in. However we were waved past by the bouncers and in we went.

The stairs brought back a memory. My first time here as WS1 (I’d had my 21st here when it was Bridge Street Social Club back in the 90’s) around 2006 as I got to the stairs, a lady at the top fell down them and landed at my feet. Anyway, we scurried up the stairs and in.

It’s a far cry from it’s nightclub days. Now with tables, tablecloths and those little lights that look like candles, it’s certainly now set out for stage entertainment rather than a floor full of dj inspired dancing. We had a singer on called Amy C and her singing was good with entertaining patter between songs. Craig was irked when she started to play “Don’t Stop Believing” and stopped it. This would have been her song of the night in his eyes.

The songs ranged from Lionel Richie, The Killers and a great rendition of Bonnie Tyler’s “Holding Out For A Hero” which had the lyrics changed to “he’s gotta be strong, and he’s gotta be fast and he’s got to bring me a McDonald’s at Midnight.” Now the first two parts of that would rule me out but I’d have no issue with venturing to the the 24 hour McDonald’s by Tesco for a couple of turf and surf burgers, if they are still a thing of course. Not been in Maccies for a while as I’ve given up Toffee Latte for Lent. Please note that the large latte with almond or caramel syrup at The Light Cinema is not subject to this 40 day sanction.

At the end of this song she asked “are their any heroes in Walsall?” so I stuck my hand up and gave a “whoo.” Not quite a Ric Flair style one but not far away.

My round so I headed up the bar. £6.20 for a Carling Dark Fruit Cider and half a Diet Coke which I thought was reasonable. Walking back though, having flown up the stairs to get in the place, my knee had a little wobble as I got to the two steps up to where we were sitting. A nice lady came and grabbed the drinks which i was grateful for. I think Craig was taken aback though when an attractive lady suddenly appeared baring his cider.

We left during the interval as we’d started late and still had places to get to, plus Craig had gone from not wanting to watch the rugby to going “we are missing the greatest 6 Nations match in History.” The two tv screens in there were showing golf, so we dashed off. Good place though, I’m going to use it more, I fancy the comedy nights and they did post that from the next day they would be doing curry, which I am all over. Need to review that.

As we left they played “Show Me Love” by Robin S promting me to comment of it being the second best 90’s song called “Show Me Love” by someone of that name with the Robyn version being the best. Craig said I’d got it the wrong way round and by some distance so we had another one of our famous musical discussions. We argue about music regularly and I always win so it was nice to get another victory under my belt.

We headed to Katz for a bit of glam party band action but ventured to the front room. There were two pizzas on the bar which smelt amazing and I wondered if they were up for grabs, as a bit of push back to the Walsall Arms giving away pizza on a Friday night. No, they had been brought in by customers but it did cause a rethink about our food for the night and we opted to give the curry a miss and head to Wishbone instead. Anyway, we made the last five minutes of the rugby with England going in front at the death then the ref gave France a penalty and I didn’t know why and they nicked it.

We were in a fruity mood and Craig had the twisted lime cider which I assured him was amazing while I had a can of Tango Mango. If only Tango had thought of that flavour in the 90’s. Imagine the adverts. You know when you’ve been Tango Mangoed. Britvic, if you’re reading you can have that one.

We opted to cut the night short and just grab food and go back to mine. As we got to Lucky Star (formerly Eat Well) I stopped in my tracks. I’d been craving sweet and sour crispy king prawn balls since the day before and had announced this to my work colleagues. I announce a lot of things to them, mostly stuff they don’t need to know and I had pondered to them if I could leave work, get to Lucky Star, go home and perform an ac of demolition on them and still make the 7pm showing of Friday 13th at The Light Cinema. In the end I hadn’t risked it but I enjoyed the film (spoiler alert, Mrs Voorhees is a bit odd.). So I said to Craig, “if you want Wishbone, carry on. I’m going in here and I’ll meet you outside Ablewell” (taxi olace). This threw Craig a serious curveball and we had a committee meeting before we both headed in.

I was breaking my fast that had been in place and held firm since the black pudding and saud sage roll in The BCA so went for it. Crispy chicken wings and the aforementioned crispy balls. Craig also went for two dishes. Because I’m a nob and I like amusing myself I sang “you can be my lucky star” but the lady serving blanked it and just looked angry.

I told Craig my theory about how many places in Walsall had been named after Madonna songs like Lucky Star, Vogue and Retro and how Club X could have been changed to Beautiful Stranger. This led to a discussion about how many Madonna songs could be used as names for strip clubs. Quite a few to be fair.

Although we’d paid separately Craig wondered if between us we had spent enough to get free prawn crackers, and as the lady handed the food over she said “I’ve given you something extra” which intrigued us. Walking to Ablewell Craig asked “do you think you’ll get a blog out of tonight Chief?” “I might get a couple of paragraphs.” I concluded.

Back at mine, we couldn’t see anything extra and there was no free prawn crackers. I thought Craig would be miffed but not really mention it. Bit wide of the mark. We got a good tirade between mouthfuls, he critiqued the food as well and by the end I think they’d had more points deducted than Sheffield Wednesday. If you listen to LBC, you’ll know that at the start of each hour the presenter does a 10 – 15 minute intro into a subject to get people to call in. It was like one of these. I nearly opened the phone lines. I was beginning to deduce that Craig wouldn’t be going there again and he duly confirmed this. Maybe I should have sang “Live To Tell” – Madonna’s best song at the counter instead. At this juncture having read that, I can see Craig jumping into his car to come and discuss Madonna’s best song. No doubt he’ll say it’s something crap like “Die Another Day” to wind me up. For balance, I must say that my chicken wings and crispy balls were great and I will be going again.

As I type this, a week later I’ve just been in touch with Craig and he is still #fummin. I think Prawncrackergate will be referenced for years to come.

*Written in 2018*

Grab a cuppa before proceeding. There could be a word count looming.

So with the adultness of a mortgage looming, I thought I’d have one last go at the visiting 365 pubs in 365 days challenge before the cheap rate for the first 2 years expired. With 771 pubs from the first 2 challenges now unavailable to be ticked off I threw a couple of sub challenges in to encourage myself to travel. First one was to visit every English county that I’d not been to on the previous two attempts (this was abandoned 9 months in with time and financial constraints kicking in.) I also decided to visit 10 former Football League towns. For some reason I upped this to 12 one day when I was bored.

There were cracking days out in London, Leeds and Stratford to start with followed by a very damp night in Albrighton. But then came a couple of trips which had me considering throwing the towel in. Walsall played a pre-season match at Chester and whilst the game was a win, a couple of offers of companionship for the day of drinking fell through and late on I was sat on my own in a dark beer garden where I had dashed to escape the run of UB40 songs wondering what I was doing with my life. (As I left the dj kicked the jukebox off by the plug switch. I’d considered doing it a couple of songs earlier but much higher). 3 Weeks later I’d had to text Blackpool Jane and Mase begging them to find me an earlier train to save me from a dreadful day out in Ledbury. I was ready to give in.

But I’m not a quitter. Especially when it comes to pubs. Around this time a friend (2026 edit he’s now a former friend) started telling people that I’d failed Pub Challenge 2. Ok I only passed it by 1 but it certainly wasn’t a fail but this helped spur me on.

On the Monday after Ledbury I was on the very dull bus journey home from work (it’s that tedious I recently read a whole article in the Metro about how often women should wash their bras) and an old Mr Logic strip out of Viz from about 20 years ago popped into my head. At the start of the strip Mr Logic is stopped by the police with one of them commenting “Oh, a yellow car. I need a yellow to complete my 147 break”. This got me thinking. Could I complete a 147 break ticking off pubs with the snooker colours in their names? I scurried home, silently cursing all the pubs with colours in their names that I’d ticked off previously and were now unavailable then got to work. I’d like to say that the snooker 147 arm lightly rejuvenated the main challenge, but this would be under egging it by about 50 omelettes. I went totally bat for lashes into it. It became an obsession. Had I been in the Question Time audience my first interrogative poser would have been “Amber Rudd, any pubs round here with colours in their name me darlin?” I spent hours upon hours on the Pubs Galore website researching. On my first inquiry I found out that Berwick had 2 Red Lions and a Brown Bear. A week later I was on a chuff chuff heading north for a bank holiday away.

Berwick is a super place and the locals are great. I’m a shy fella, and not good at meeting people so if a conversation is going to start in a pub it has to come from the other person. Fortunately these people were up for it. One fella who struck up a conversation asked “Where are you from?” With my proudest voice I replied “Walsall”. “Oh” he replied excitedly “My son is from Pontefract”. Oh right. Ok. (2026 edit. Walsall is 117 miles from Pontefract) Also in Berwick a chap I’d befriended wanted me to dance with him to Darude’s Sandstorm. Sadly my glass was empty and it was time to move on. Not everyone in town was happy to see me. A lass in The Kings Head was on the karaoke and made the mistake of singing my favourite Belinda Carlisle and Roxette songs. I joined in and gave it portions. I was right by her and she kept looking round and glaring.

My only regret from Berwick is that I’d done all the pubs that I wanted to and I was on 99 for the challenge. I then read of the most northern pub in England but opted not to go as I didn’t want to do pub 100 on my own. Pub 100 turned out to be a crap un in Cheslyn Hay but I was with great company in the form of Mase and Dave Roe. (2026 edit. Not visiting the most northern pub in England still haunts me.)

Some excellent folk were met on the tours. The landlord of The Cottage Of Contempt (a rock pub in Chasetown) eyed us suspiciously as we approached – 4 non rock looking people each with portions of chips. We told him of the challenge, he loved it and on the way out he shook our hands and said next time we were in Chasetown to let him know and he’d come round with us. In Nottingham my mate told two lovely ladies what we were doing, and they invited us to join them at thier table and they then joined us as tour guides for the rest of the day. That has never happened before (or since).

In Shenstone we met a pub landlord from Pelsall. We thought he might be happy with some fellow Walsall lads in but he couldn’t have given less of a shit. In Hinckley a chap we were talking to proudly boasted that it was only 2pm and he was on his 3rd pub of the day. We pointed out it was our 5th and he calmed down.

Other things that entertained was a lass in Chasetown giving the Who The F*** Is Alice song a very loud rendition on the karaoke, a chap in The Manor Tavern in Aston (great pub – just missed the top 10) who had his phone on charge behind the bar. When the barmaid handed it back he asked “have you put your number in it?” He got the flattest “No” ever. And I’ve had a flat no or two in my time.

Other oddities included me trampling on a dog in The Lamp Tavern in Dudley. He was on the floor right by the door, I was looking at the bar and my glasses steamed up. Deffo not my fault according to the VAR folk. In the 3 Tuns in Tamworth one room just had two old gents in and they were having a chat as a song from about 10 years ago played very loudly. The lyrics go “Lick my neck, lick my back…” I’ll stop there but it was a surreal moment.

I love a sign. Who doesn’t? And my faves were “No smoking. No drugs. No shagging” in the toilets in the Waggon & Horses in Tipton, and one in The Vine Inn in Brum advertising “Brummie Tappas” which was chips and curry sauce. I couldn’t have it though as they had no curry sauce. Fummin.

Last anecdote. In Mind The Gap, a railway themed Broadstairs micropub the decoration is only those orange railway tickets you get. Sensing they needed some Walsall representation I handed over one of my train tickets to join the hundreds already on the wall. As I finished my pint, something nagged at me so I checked my wallet. Yep, I’d only given them my return ticket back to DH. I had to sheepishly walked back to the bar and swap it over.

Right enough waffle. Time for the top 10 pubs of the challenge. As mentioned on the last blog, these pubs only get one pint to impress and it doesn’t take me long to shovel it down (as commented on by a chap in The Black Swan in Darlington).

10 – Bonds Bar – Tamworth. This wasn’t on the to do list but Jane spotted it as we went past and wanted to go in. It was cool, the music was superb and it was a good atmosphere. Pretty much the same as fellow POTC contender The Boars Head in Kidderminster. But Bonds Bar had a cat inside which earned it the 10th spot.

9 – The Cornubia – Bristol. Very patriotic pub. A picture of the Queen behind the bar. Mossiv dog. Tank full of terrapins. Loved it.

8 – Peaky Blinders – Birmingham. A pub I had no knowledge of but my mate Daz took me there. The bouncer warned us it might not be our cup of tea but we went in anyway. The pub was rammed, a lot of them were in pajamas and everyone to a man joined in with a karaoke Adele song. It was superb in there. Even a random used tissue on the shelf behind us didn’t earn it a points deduction. I even made a drunken friend.

7 – Worlds End – Camden Town. When you walk into a pub and Foo Fighters are playing you know it’s gonna be good. Such a cool place. One tip jar on the bar said “Tip and you get laid”. I chucked a quid in and asked if it was legally binding. I’m still waiting. You simply have to love a bar that does a cocktail called “Adios Mother Fucker”.

6 – The Southfield – Middlesbrough. Was after somewhere to watch boxing and someone suggested this place. It was on a university site and I expected it to be empty as it was Easter. No, it was rammed. Everyone was friendly – even women smiled at me in there. Had a right laugh with a group of locals and the celebrations at the end of the boxing were epic. And one barmaid was amazing.

5 – Bouncing Barrel – Herne Bay. Dambusters themed micro pub. Very welcoming and it’s set up so that the seats go around the room and everyone is facing each other. Guessing the landlord had strangers in that day as he got everyone to introduce themselves and say what they were doing in town. It was like an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. But with alcohol.

4 – Fez – Margate. Really cool micropub. 1960’s record player. 2nd barbers chair of the challenge. Very welcoming landlord. Cracking ale. All good ticks.

3 Jinky’s – Oakham. This place wasn’t (and still isn’t) on any of the pub websites I use so I had no prior knowledge of it. There is no sign. I just spotted the bar at the back as I walked past. I crossed the road to have a better look, and met a bloke who was also trying to work out if it was a pub. We walked in and were greeted like long lost sons. The locals were all friendly (unlike the quiz machine) and I had a cracking time. Everyone shook my hand on the way out and wished me luck for the rest of the challenge.

2 Queen’s Head – Hinckley. Bit biased here. It’s a great pub per se but it was helped by being run by the best friend of one of my earliest Walsall FC heroes Willie Naughton. So much of the chat was about him and the team at the time. My mate also told two ladies that we were in town looking for big breasted single women which had them thrusting their norks out. Then they realised he said single and pulled them back in again. Superb time in here.

1 Four Candles – Broadstairs. It was love at first sight when I entered this micropub. I bought a t-shirt before I ordered a beer. The locals were friendly (one of them offered me a pork scratching which has never happened anywhere else), landlady was immense. Beer good. I really wanted to break strict pub challenge rules and stay for a second but I had a busy day ahead. I did treat the locals to a quick parade of me in my new t-shirt which went down a storm .

Barmaids of the challenge. In second place was the barmaid in Three Crowns in Dudley. Efficient, polite, cute and entertaining. In first place was the barmaid in The Red Bull in Stockport. Pretty, superb outfit and friendly. She didn’t bat an eyelid at me running in and past her to get to the loo or my mates jokes which were dying on their arses. Honourable mention to the barmaid in The Black Boy Hotel in Bewdley (Bewdley has 2 Black Boy pubs, this one was late in the day). We walked in and Mase headed straight to the loo. Barmaid commented “funny how many men have dashed to the loo since the blond lass walked in.” I scanned but couldn’t see said blonde.

So I finished the main challenge on 407 pubs – a pb. I finished the snooker challenge with a week to spare (you can read a separate blog about that challenge here) and I visited 12 former Football League towns/cities Barrow, Durham, Gateshead, Kidderminster, Northwich, Stalybridge, Stockport, Darlington, Glossop, Workington, Chester and Loughborough. (2026 edit, yes 2 of these are now back in The Football League and have beaten Walsall since doing so.) I took the challenge to 16 counties for the first time. I took in Northumberland, Cumbria, Kent and Cornwall so visited every corner of this great land. It’s been a fab 12 months and big thanks to anyone who has joined me in ticking some pubs off. Finally to all my drinking pals, I promise never again will I message you asking if we can go to a pub with a colour in the name. Apart from The Black Country Arms obviously.

*This was written in 2016. Some pubs mentioned may be long gone.*

Back in 2010 I was in a taxi with a good friend Sarah who told me and my mate Woza about The Pub 365 Challenge that she was undertaking. The idea was to visit 365 pubs in the same number of days and have a drink in each. Ideally starting on the 1st of January and having the whole year to do it.

We couldn’t wait until January. We started the following Saturday. I resigned from it early on as I hit financial rock bottom, Woza’s response to this was sticking £30 in my hand and saying “let’s go and tick some pubs off.” Then Colin moved in with me and it was back on. It was epic and I ticked off 404 pubs. I had always wanted to have another go and last March (2015) it was time to go again. Figuring that there was 29 days the following February I took advantage of the extra leap year day and opted to have a go at The Pub 366 Challenge. With all the pubs on the previous challenge now ineligible I had to look further afield whilst also mopping up ones that I hadn’t visited in Walsall or that re-opened in that time.

So I started in Bloxwich in The Lady Diana. Highway To Hell was playing as I entered. The barmaid was friendly, the pub was good and I was enjoying myself, but then the music changed to George Ezra and I had to flee in terror. (2026 update – I now like some of George Ezra’s work but still can’t get on with his early stuff.)

Going to different places is the big plus of these challenges and the first major session occurred in Barnsley. The locals in Chennells Bar were a bit impatient. One bloke almost entered me in his efforts to get noticed by the barmaid. I was so glad that Phyllis Nelson’s ‘Move Closer’ didn’t come on. Another bloke who got up the bar after me waved his glass repeatedly in front of my face. He was not happy when I got served first. Another chap who caught our attention in this town was the skinhead in The Courthouse. We had an idea what sort of he music he would put on the jukebox. We were not expecting Britney Spears, Jennifer Rush and Celine Dion.

In The Waggon And Horses in Digbeth there must have been 100 freshly washed glasses on the bar. So much so that I could not see much actual bar. Someone must have tipped them off that I was coming. I only used one of them though, and even the first pub cat of the challenge couldn’t sway me to break the one drink per pub rule.

We meet a lot of barmaids but I’ve only brought one of them a drink on each challenge, this one was in The Market Tavern in Chesterfeld. She didn’t serve me but looked like someone that I used to fancy, and that was good enough.

At the Cuckmere Inn in Sleaford by Eastbourne a sign out side advised that ‘The whole team welcomes you’. Unfortunately our barmaid didn’t appear to be having a good Monday and wasn’t at all welcoming. Maybe I should have got her an unprecedented second drink of the challenge to cheer her up. The barmaid of the challenge worked at The Ship in Leigh On Sea. She was fit, funny, friendly and flirty. All good F’s there. The barmaid in The Steamer in Fleetwood who watched us put money in the jukebox then told us we couldn’t have the sound on as two people were watching tv, (the only other people in the pub) also scored few points.

We also encountered landlords and landladies. The landlord of The County in Huddersfield asked us if we were foreign and did we know what dripping was. He was a character and free food he provided helped cement this. The landlady of The Olde English Gentleman in Loughborough, described her customers and we learned that one falls asleep and farts like a foundry cat. I’m not sure if the man in The Royal Oak in Great Wyrley was the landlord but he kept glancing at me then his watch. It was only 7.50 pm. I took the hint and fled. The customers in The Beech Tree in Blackheath seemed to be giving the landlord money to put in the jukebox. I’m sure it’s the other way round in most pubs.

There were other things that all added to the challenge experience. Making The Albion in Rugeley all about me with friends and customers all chanting my name was ace – we then got told off for singing Walsall songs. The Bulls Head in Sedgley did a great range of Thai food including a dish called Gang Dang. Naturally I had to sing “we’re having a Gang Dang, we’re having a ball” all the way to the next pub. Talking of singing on the way to pubs, in Ye Olde Smack in Leigh On Sea they played Bulletproof by La Roux, so I sang it all the way to the next pub and continued as we ventured in. Unfortunately the toilets were right by the front door and I darted straight in. I was still in full flow of singing rather loudly. Two gents at the urinals – also in full flow did not appreciate the sudden serenading and gave me daggers.

In Shrewsbury at the Salopian Bar I had my first chicken and ham pork pie which was amazing but sparked a discussion with two local ladies as to if it counted as a pork pie as it contained chicken. This discussion somehow turned to underwear and culminated in them asking to see my boxers. Their wish was granted. I didn’t think to ask if they had white bras on. I always miss a trick.

I could list other things but I’m conscious of the word count however I must give a mention to the Swan & Railway in Wigan. This was a great pub but the upholstery needed a bit of tlc. I wondered if I could fit my mossiv head in the hole in one of the seats. It had to be done. It did fit. I must apologise to the barman in The Velvet Coaster in Blackpool who gave me the dirtiest look ever, just because I was using the lift. I’d never seen a lift in a pub before and was somewhat excited. He wasn’t though, but couldn’t be arsed to run up the stairs to issue a reprimand.

The challenge petered out a bit in the later months and in the end I only just made it. The target was 366 and I made it to 367 on the penultimate day. I didn’t even bother going out for a tick on February 29th. I did however wonder if I could do this sort of challenge for a third time. More on that at a later date.

Right, before I reveal the top 10 pubs of the challenge I’d better cater for the fans of stats. Here are some figures. Pubs which gave a Pointless quiz machine win – 27. Pubs that were vacated and immediately slagged off on Twitter – 1. Pubs that were entered but not ticked off due to behind the bar twattery – 2. Pubs that were departed quickly due to UB40 coming on – 7. Pubs where I nearly pulled on the car park with a lass that wasn’t even going in the place – 1.

Okay so we are at the business end of the blog. The top 10 pubs. Please note that pubs on the challenge do not get much of a chance to impress. They normally have just the time it takes to drink a pint – not long in my case, to make an impression and sometimes pubs are visited on afternoons which probably isn’t the best time to call but we can only judge on what we see. So, please put on the theme tune to Pick Of The Pops and let’s do the rundown.

10 – The White Hart – Shifnal. This was a class pub. Best in Shifnal. We weren’t going in, but I saw it and insisted. Busy and offering great beer. Possibly would have been higher but I docked the place a point as people were dressed in Halloween outfits a week early.

9 – The Crown Inn – Stourbridge. Again busy but comfortably so. Great beer, amazing baps and I liked the barmaid.

8 – The Borough Arms – Crewe. Like a beer warehouse there that was that much choice. Friendly barmaid, great baps (the eatable type) and 7 handwashes and 4 options of loo roll. Wasn’t meant to be anywhere near this pub on the day, but trains were not playing nicely so had to miss Penkridge and get to Crewe early. Glad we got acquainted.

7 – The Brewers Arms – Lewes. I had a choice just before my train. Have a gander at the local football ground (The Dripping Pan) or pop and see Anne Of Cleavage’s old house – the one Henry VIII gave her upon divorce. Or come to this pub. I chose the later. Barmaid was ace and said I could have a few samples – I stupidly opted for the first ale but the main highlight of this place was the wall which contained printed A4 sheet’s of all the class lines that had been uttered in the place. By whom and date etc. If my old local The Fitters had done this, then there would be no paper or trees left in the world.

6 – Wigan Central – Wigan. By far the best micropub I’ve been in yet. Ale was class and the numerous fellow Saddlers all added up to a fine visit. A rare two pint pub.

5 The Rat & Ratchett – Huddersfield. This pub contained my favourite pinball machine (The Addams Family), great ale and just had that “ace pub” vibe.

4 – The Strawberry Gardens – Fleetwood. Class pub, and there were very few tears shed when the match was called off. Enjoyed several hours here with a great bunch of fellow Saddlers and the one pint per pub rule was not just broken but given a damn good shoeing. Docked a point for a lack of appearance from Syd Little who runs the place. (2026 update – he doesn’t anymore.)

3 – The Howard – Sheffield. Ace music (The Vaccines as we walked in), cool vibe, and lots of northern lasses. This just felt like a class place.

2 – Old No 7’s – Barnsley. Could write a blog just on this place. Tremendous beer, cracking bar staff, exceptional pork pie, friendly locals. Some great signage (I love a sign me). I’d never had a pale stout before I walked in here. One of the pubs in my novel has been altered to be more like this place – no higher accolade than that surely?

1 – The Rutland Arms. Sheffield. Local beer called “Reet Pale Ale”. More quality signage including advising that the staff love gin, the stronger ales on a board marked “Danger Beer” and of course the list of “Forbidden Music” by the “Play Music Box Thing”. This was a Sunday afternoon visit and just a one pinter but am looking to have a few Saturday night hours in there after The Mighty Saddlers have visited Bramall Lane in April. And the food must be sampled. Looking forward to having the “Slutty Rutty Butty”. (Best food name of the challenge along with the Smelly Elly Burger at The Elephant & Castle in Lewes). (2026 update – the April visit did happen, as did the Slutty Rutty Butty. Bith were excellent.)

Honorary Mentions.

Alehouse Rock in Moxley – Class pub, outstanding beer and it gets a mention as I got the only free pint of the challenge in here. Yes, I’m easily bought. I’d make a great FIFA delegate.

The Lamp Tavern – Moseley, Birmingham. Very friendly, both from landlord and customer. Good beer and free food. All good.

So that’s it. Challenge and blog over. I would recommend doing it. Pubs are great and urge you to support them, be it your local or a pub that you pass all the time but have not ventured into. As my mate Ian says, it’s a great feeling pushing open a pub door for the first time to see what you are going to get behind it. You could go to a different town for a pub crawl which is always fun. I was somewhat hyper when arriving in Wigan to drink for the first time and hugged every Walsall fan in the first pub “Last Orders” and I also nearly got run over when excitedly hunting for the Burton Bridge pub last Saturday. So please enjoy those pubs out there, but make sure you observe the Green Cross Code or I’ll set Alvin Stardust on ya.

It was a lazy start to last Saturday. I’d risen late having been up after midnight watching The Traitors final on I-Player after getting home from Josh’s. I was too lethargic to even bother paying attention to my breakfast and ended up with over cooked eggs and bacon. The wholemeal wrap that they were going on only escaped this fate as it didn’t need introducing to a heat source.

Breakfast wasn’t the only thing being cooked. Remember only the 5th edition of this blog back in February 2021 when I was on about Mr Kipling home bake cake mixes and wondering if he couldn’t be arsed to make them anymore? Well I bought one and I finally got round to making it. I’ve not baked a cake since school days and that last one was in my bag when it got in the way of a fight between two of my friends. There was to be no broken jam jar on this occasion though.

It wasn’t great. Air fryers are brilliant for stuff that can flipped over but a cake? Not so. Mr Kipling makes exceedingly good cakes. I clearly don’t. Ended up cooking it in 3 stages. All a bit of a mess. I want to be on television again but I don’t think it’s going to be on a cookery show. I aint appearing on Can’t Cook, Won’t Cook…is that what it’s called? I’m crap with tv show names. Might be Can’t Cook, We’ll Take It Away. Either way, I’m not appearing alongside Ainsley Harriott anytime soon.

Anyway, Walsall were at home to Accrington. I remember when pre match was pub and chucking beer down me and now I’m baking cakes. I’ve turned into Mary Berry.

Anyway, the cake making didn’t hold me up but fannying around did and I missed the first 14 minutes of the match. I’m currently on loan to the upper tier and have been for the last few games which delights me even if my left knee isn’t quite so keen. The home match against Acccrington last season was an absolute shambles so i was hoping for better this time. Well it’s the hope that gets you. It was dreadful. Absolute non performance. Accriington seemed determined to finish the match with 10 men but the ref was having none of it.

It ended 0-0. We were spared the banter of an undeserved away goal like last season but there was nothing to get excited about. It seems that if betting companies brought out accumulators that include 5 matches that will be shit, Walsall v Accrington would be a banker. I did however enjoy the punditry from the array of Roy Keane’s that stood around me. I heard that the first 14 minutes was our best spell of the game so typical that I missed it.

I grabbed a coffee and headed to The Locker. I saw my niece Amber and told her of my late arrival. She got there after 24 minutes. I’m really chuffed that she has taken on my casual approach to kick off time and built on it. So proud.

A few of us headed to Katz. Me, Amber, JB, Laura, Pez and the children of the group Albie, Bella and Frankie. Fellow Saddlers Marvellous Matt Stacky, Tomo and Sue were also in and it was a good atmosphere. The kids started to use the sweet dispenser and I noticed it had Mini Eggs. This excited me. Comes to something when you’ve been to watch your beloved football team and seeing Mini Eggs on sale is the most exciting point of the afternoon. Laura asked if I wanted some but I declined. She produced a pound coin anyway and got me a tub. Cheers Laura. I still have them and allow myself one as I leave the house for work of a morning.

I’d heard the week before that The Oak Inn on Green Lane was closing this evening, so Josh was coming to over so we could make one last visit. He’d messaged to say he was cooking the kids tea and would then head over. I was peckish. I’d not eaten since breakfast. I hadn’t touched the cake. I’d decided to let it relax before sticking the knife in. I mentioned my hunger to Amber. “You’ve got to go past McDonald’s to get to The Oak Inn, ask Josh to take you to the drive trough.”

He phoned shortly afterwards. I had to try and steer the conversation towards McDonald’s and was prepared to bribe him with a turn n surf burger. I didn’t even get to finish the sentence. Here’s how the conversation went. “Geezer I’m just setting off.” “Nice one. I need to grab food though….” “I’m bringing you food.” What? You’re bringing me food now?”Yes.” “I know I’ve told you this a million times but I really don’t deserve you.” I swear he can read my mind. Don’t know how he does it. Soon he was pulling up and handed me a Tupperware box containing fries and pizza. I got stuck in straight away. I didn’t even stop to consider how I could eat them in a way to irritate him as I usually do but I did eat every single one of the fries first then the pizza which would have met some of the criteria.

We were soon outside The Oak, I posed for one last picture. Josh headed over the road to take the shot but just as he did a bloke came out for a fag. He wanted to know why I was having a picture and was he in it etc. I explained it was for a blog, but it wasn’t the easiest of discussions. Josh thought it was going downhill and came rushing over. I told the bloke I’d get a picture on the way out and headed in. The smoking ban is a real pain in the arse for pub picture takers as there is usually always people outside. The government didn’t think this through.

Inside and it was very busy with a rock disco in full flow. Adam and Annabelle have had the pub for 10 years and have done a good job. No sign of Annabelle though and Adam was on his own, combining serving and glass washing. A bloke came in, stood next to me and make it quite clear to Adam that he wanted serving. He was severely nonplussed when Adam came to me, when it actually was my turn and he then missed his chance as he’d turned around talking. Drinks purchased and we headed outside.

Outside and Josh asked me to name the 3 shittest Walsall beer gardens. We both agreed on The Funny House (Crown Inn) on Long Acre Street, which comes complete with a still in use washing line, which Josh said he’d hung his Walsall shirt on once.

We headed back inside, as we were preparing to leave Josh asked “are you having a last toilet?” “I don’t need to go, but I need to go if that makes sense.” Sad to see another pub shut. Wishing Adam and Annabelle all the best in their next chapter. Rock disco was good with “Temple Of Love” by The Sisters Of Mercy the pick of the songs.

“Let’s go somewhere random” I suggested. After a brief conflab we settled on The 7 Stars on Stafford Street,a pub I’ve not been in since I moved away from Lewis Street 10 years ago but I was regular during that residency. I’ve only tried to go once since and it was shut. This time, at 9.45 on a Saturday night, it was again shut. “Hope it hasn’t gone” I commented. A quick WhatsApp exchange with out Stafford Street correspondent Chris Kelly the next day confirmed it is still open but the hours are somewhat sporadic.

Back to the car and the drawing board and we settled on The Duke Of York in Chuckery. Not been in here since going for a magnificent Desi mixed grill (now discontinued) pre Covid and a new tick for Josh. This pub made national news in 2021 when it was raided for serving during lock down. Andrew Mountbatten Windsor as he likes to be called nowadays would have been chuffed that another Duke Of York had given him a brief break from the media.

We went in the lounge first which had one person in but Josh noticed the back room looked livelier. We attempted to swap rooms and headed towards the ladies loo thinking that was the way. Barman stopped us and advised we had to go via the street. This was new on Josh having to go outside to swap rooms at a pub and asked if I knew of another in Walsall, which I couldn’t think of any. Please comment if you do. In the other room there was more women than men, totally fine by us. The table football was out of bounds due to being temporarily repurposed as a ladies cloakroom, there was also a pool table but we were never going to be using that.

Music? I didn’t know any of it. I don’t have Shazam capabilities on my phone but none of the songs had me wishing I did. One track amused me though. I think it was influenced by Father Jack on Father Ted. It was just a series of words with the second one always being “drink.” They could have mixed up a bit though with the occasional “feck” or “arse” though.

We didn’t stay long and had to be let out the door. I pondered as we walked down the street. We clearly didn’t know our way round the pub, didn’t interact with anyone in there, sat with our backs to the bar and I was making notes on my phone. “We must have looked so suspicious to them” I commented. “Yeah” Josh replied “with the age difference between us, they weren’t thinking we’re best mates. More like work colleagues.” This got me thinking. Josh and I as work colleagues? He’d spend the whole shift feeding me and I’d get nothing done. Actually I’m warming to it. I might put us both down for overtime.

At The Walsall Arms, Jodi was dj-ing and it was one of her request a song nights. I am yet to put a request in. I decided tonight was the night to change this. I was feeling some classic 90’s dance and quickly came up with a shortlist to choose from They all offered pros and zero cons. (1) K-Klass “Rhythm Is A Mystery.” Pro – belter of a tune and at that juncture I quite fancied moving my body to the rhythm of love. (2) N-Trance “Set You Free.” Pro – absolute classic and long standing favourite of mine. The place would have gone up and you need joyousness like that once in a while. (3) Brothers In Rhythm “Such A Good Feeling.” Pro – this had popped in my head at 3am and I’d had to get up and Google/YouTube it and I wanted to hear it again whilst fully awake. (4) JX – “There’s Nothing I Won’t Do.” Pro – tuuuuuune and I know Josh loves it. After all that I didn’t bother asking for any of them. If you’re reading Jodi, next time please yeah?

Alison was serving and I think she was a bit puzzled by my order of two halves, one being a diet pop. Me ordering halves. God I’ve turned into Ken Barlow.

I caught up with Jodi after a while and complimented her saying all the songs had been great so far. For a bit of banter she put UB40 on next. I’m glad I made that statement before this.

Cracking evening, and it was good to see so many people during and after the match. Right, gotta go. I’m off to play some classic 90’s dance. I have a shortlist.

Lazy start to last Sunday. Danny Wallace on Radio X was blasting out, which was an absolute treat. I don’t normally get to listen to him as I’m usually at the gym at this time of the week, but I’m currently having a break whilst the “go to the gym only in January” brigade get that out of their systems. Some great lines like “marriage is about secret grudges and robbing each other of small moments of joy.” Great entertainment.

I couldn’t listen to it all though as I had somewhere to be. Cannock to be precise. My mate Rob who has been growing his hair for a while was having it shaved off to raise money for Cancer Research. It simply had to be done. Rob is a top lad, has great taste in music and football team, and is a source of entertainment on Twitter.

Trains were playing nicely, which isn’t always the case of a Sunday, and as I got into Cannock I had a bit of time to kill. I pondered McDonalds. I immediately had the little devil on one shoulder saying “you love the Surf n Turf burger. It’s going off the secret menu soon. Do it. Do it now.” I then had the angel on the other shoulder saying “you’re trying to lose weight. Don’t do it you fat fuck.” Plus it wouldn’t have just been the Surf N Turf meal, it would have been yes to the “would you like to add on 4 chicken nuggets?” “Can we tempt you with a hot apple pie before you complete your order?” “No, I don’t like apple. Oh sod it, go on then.” I pressed on towards town.

Another reason I didn’t go there is because I’m trying to save up to make a bid for Greenland. Might buy it, mark it up and see if I can sell it on. Wonder if I could find any interested buyers. I should get a big discount as at a quiz a few years ago, apart from the quiz master, I was the only person in the room that knew that Nuuk is their capital city.

I digress. I took a stroll past The Prince Of Wales Theatre. It looks sad at the moment and the street is so different with all the neighbouring buildings gone. I have happpy memories of that theatre and have blooged about them recently. You can catch it here. I gather that discussions are still ongoing but I hope they can save it. I’m a Walsall lad so certainly no stranger to council inspired lust for demolition in the name of redevelopment.

Rob’s shave was taking place at The Royal Oak, a cracking pub and always on the must visit list whenever I’m in town. It was very busy and a decent crowd where soon heading outside to watch the big shave off. Rob and I made a pact that I could have his hair when it was shaved off so I was glad I’d travelled.

Early on I thought that the clippers were going to pack up which had me wondering if a Turkish Barbers was nearby. There was some great lines flying around from the watching crowd starting with “you’ll have to give everyone their money back” when the clippers were playing up, through to “hurry up, we’re getting wet” “you look like something out of Strangeways”, “how much for the eyebrows to some off?” (“for me or the charity?” was Rob’s response), “you might win a darts match now Rob, only bigging you up, you probably won’t” “you’ve got to eat all the hair now” and my favourite “grow it back until Walsall win promotion, you’ll look like Chewbacca.” Walsall FC and Chewbacca in the same quote, that’s a first on me and I loved it.

Back inside and I got Rob a Guinness, he’d more than earned it but in truth I’ve owed him a beer for a couple of years since I bumped into him in The Bull Ring Tavern in Brum after a Hard-Fi gig and he sorted me a ticket for the Walsall match the next day, saying “get me a pint.” Good to finally pay that debt off. If you’d like to donate to Cancer Research on behalf of Rob’s shave, the gofundme page is here. He’ll love you forever.

From there it was The New Hall Arms, where the music was great with the highlights being Donna Lewis “I Love You Always Forever” which I only ever hear on Heart 90’s at work and (guessing this figure off the top of my head) my 7th favourite Duran Duran song “Ordinary World”. The plan had been to visit The Arcade too but with time short I stayed here and let some writing ideas bubble away whilst enjoying the tunes.

The train was on time and as it approached Walsall I loitered near the door. A lad came in from the next carriage and pressed the door for the toilet. From behind me a voice shouted “I wouldn’t go in there mate. It’s covered in shit. Someone’s had the worlds biggest dump in there.” Needless to say I was still chuckling at this as I walked down Park Street.

In Wewtherspoon, word reached me of Adam and Annabelle’s imminent departure from The Oak Inn. I sent this to a few folk including Mase who messaged back to say he was in The Lyndon and he summonsed me to join him. It’s testament as to how highly I regard Mase as I departed with immediateness after just one free refill coffee. Though I did ponder taking one up the road with me. I’d have taken the mug back the next day to see if they’d give me 10p for it like when you used to take Corona bottles back in the 1980’s. For the Millennials reading, Corona was pop back in the day. I didn’t start on the beer that early in life.

The Lyndon was busy. I’ve not been in it for well over a year I reckon so it was good to see it’s still pulling folk in. The karaoke was on and doing good business and Mase was sat round the corner with Martin. Martin departed shortly afterwards. Mase and I set about putting the world to right.

The karaoke was non stop. Singer after singer with no filler songs in between. Highlights? A cracking rendition f “2 Out Of 3 Aint Bad” and “Wonderful Life” by Black which I’ve never heard on karaoke before. “Warm This Winter” by Gabrielle Cilmi had both Mase and I protesting “this is a Christmas song.” It’s a great song though, well performed and we both joined in. “Oh! Carol” was a regular song sang in The Fullbrook and during the chorus, after each line everyone would sing “in the bed.” I went into auto pilot and shouted as I am used to. It was just me. Somethings don’t move from pub to pub.

A rendition of “Happy Birthday” did have the alternate second verse of “go out and get drunk, go out and get drunk, get plastered you bastard…” Somethings do migrate from The Fullbrook then.

We departeted. As Mase walked off down Bridge Sreet I shouted after him “give me best to the family.” “No” he replied firmly. Standard Mase. Gotta love him.

I hadn’t been out on a Sunday in centuries so decided to carry on and headed to Katz. Karaoke was also in full flow here. A man was performing “Love Is In The Air” as I walked in, and that’s an absolute classic so I stopped in the middle of the floor and joined in. Mel was in and having a great time and hostess Mena was in good form. I decided to do a song. “Lady Willpower” by Gary Puckett. I’d heard it on the morning and it had been in my head all day. I quickly learned from the first word that my vice isn’t suited to this. Me with my ropy accent trying to croon “Lady Willpower, it’s now or never. Give your love to me. I’ll shower your heart with tenderness, endlessly” must have been horrendous listening to everyone in the vicinity but fair play to Mena, she called it a treat as I finished. It didn’t sound like that where I was standing.

I headed to The Walsall Arms. En route I stopped in the rain to admire a fridge freezer that had been neatly deposited in the gutter. On double yellow lines though. I know that cars can’t park on these, not so sure about electrical appliances though. Not read my copy of The Highway Code since 1995, but I’ll check.

In The Arms, I’d missed the karaoke but Jodi was serving and it was good to see her. Jaz and a few of the locals were about too and it was a good half hour or so.A lady I don’t know rocked up alongside and asked if I’d like a shot which I politely declined. She then got one for everyone at the bar. Very decent of her. Me turning down a Tequila Rose? God I’ve changed.

It was proper pissing down as I headed home. Getting fed up of all of this wet stuff now. I know farmers like it, but I don’t. It’s shit. I understand why Adele is so keen to set fire to it. I might join her one of the nights with some kindling.

P.S. Next time you hear Oh! Carol, if you fancy giving it a Walsall feel here are the lyrics to the chorus as performed in The Fullbrook. “Darling there will never be another in the bed. ‘Cause I love you so in the bed. Don’t ever leave me in the bed. Say you’ll never goooooooooooo I will always want you for my sweet heart in the bed. No matter what you do in the bed. Oh Carol, I’m still in love with you.” In the bed tended to be somewhat optional after that last line depending on time of the night/alcohol levels etc etc.

My New Year resolution is to lose weight. Well I say that, I’ve been trying the last couple of months. To use boxing analogies, I’m currently Middleweight and have been dangling just above Light Middleweight (Super Welterweight for my American readers) for a while, so my aim is to drop down to that level. However, the Walsall food reviews now get the best readership figures on here, so I will continue with these. Last decade I was Cruiserweight (2nd highest) so I’m going in the right direction. Anyway, enough waffle, let’s talk food.

Lockside Cafe. Bradford Mall. Saddlers Centre, Walsall. Reviewed 21/12/25.

It was the shortest day in England. With daylight at its most premium of the year, I had to get out there and munching earlier. To be honest, I was heading to Wetherspoons for breakfast and then I remembered that my month off from blogging was coming to an end, and as I hadn’t done a food review since mid November, I really ought to so I decided to see if this place was open of a Sunday.

Opened earlier in the year, having been previously located in the old BHS store, this was to be only my second visit to the Saddlers Centre since the revamp. The other being the night before and an unsuccessful attempt to use the ticket office at the railway station when heading to meet Josh for The Twang concert in Birmingham.

I don’t know the unit number of the Lockside Cafe but it’s on the lower deck in what was the bra and pants shop back in the day, by the sexy new escalators (I like the colourful lighting on the sides of these).

The windows were nicely decked out in that festive spray stuff, but it was the flashing “open” sign that really did it for me.

The place was neat, clean and decked out with festiveness. No menus on the tables so I loitered staring at the one on the wall, which wasn’t at all awkward for myself and the two ladies sat beneath it eating. I don’r know why I studied it. It was always going to be the biggest available, The Full Nelson (£10.50) no tomato or mushrooms as is my standard request, with a mug of English Breakfast tea (£1.50). I will hit Light Middleweight in 2026, this visit was 2025 so very much allowed.

Service was friendly, food came quickly and was really god. I even had a successful go on the pepper grinder which is usually a fail for me. I read recently that black pepper boosts metabolism so now I’m obsessed with it, having it all the time. Even in coffee, on Cornflakes etc etc. Music was 60’s so anybody still in Whamageddon on day 21 could relax (I went out on day 13). “Baby, Now That I’ve Found You” by The Foundations and “Kissing In The Back Row Of The Movies” by The Drifters were the pick of the tunes.

Good visit this, there was Walsall FC chat with a fellow diner which earned bonus points and I prefer this place to the one they had in the old BHS.

Cafe 23. 27 Park Street, Walsall. Reviewed 28/12/25.

I was on a pre noon trip to The Light Cinema (to watch The Housemaid – (very good), I hadn’t done any post Christmas shopping and fancied one last pig out before resuming the pre work breakfast of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes the following day.

Cafe 23 opened recently on Park Street, although they put High Street on one of their Facebook posts which caused equal amounts of confusion and merriment. I was hoping it would be open on a Sunday morning and it was. They don’t do a full English per se, but brekkie options are available like fried egg or beans on toast. I’ve never had a bagel in my life so opted for one of those with scrambled egg and a large latte which came to £8.50. Lady serving was friendly too, so all good.

There was no music, which I was fine with. I’d got a song stuck in my head but I didn’t know what it was. I had to ask Kerrie at work the next day who confirmed it was APT by Rose and Bruno Mars. The interior is smart and there are a few lamps dotted around, so if Facebook ever brings back Lamp Lovers, you know where to head. There was also enough picture frames on the wall to make my Living Room jealous.

Food came quickly and was good. I can’t cook scrambled egg for shit, so it’s nice when others that can, do it for me.

Nice enough visit this. I have ignored bagels in the supermarket since though.

Sultan Cottage, 123 Wolverhampton Road, Pelsall. Reviewed 7/01/26.

Right. Back story to start with. Josh had me round his to join him and his family for Christmas dinner. He also lured me back to his after the Walsall v Crewe match on Boxing Day to feed me up again, so as a thank you I offered to take him and Lyndsey (Mrs Josh) out for food. Lyndsey politely declined so I gave Josh a free rein of where we were going, with just 2 small caveats. (1) it had to be in the borough of Walsall and (2) somewhere I hadn’t reviewed. He opted for this place. This pleased me as I hadn’t set foot in it since it was a pub (The Swan) and had been thinking about it a lot since including it in my lost pubs of Walsall blog.

We headed to The Railway in Pelsall en route as I needed to re-tick it with the new folk in charge, and Josh hadn’t been before. It looks good in there, barmaid was friendly and it was a good visit. Cheap prices too.

Upon arrival at Sultan Cottage, Josh spoke to a waiter who pointed him in the direction of a table. I wasn’t paying much attention, I was glancing around for anything I could write about and also to see if Patsy Kensit was in. She wasn’t. The waiter greeted me warmly and shook my hand. A good start.

It’s got to be a quarter of a century since I was last in the building and I don’t really remember what it was like as a pub so I followed Josh without pondering on that. I was most surprised as I turned a corner to see Josh joining a table, with two blokes sat it, booth with their backs to me. ‘What’s he doing now?’ I wondered. Only when I drew level did I see it was our great mates Pezza and Comedy. Josh had invited them as a surprise for me. It was ace. He’d whispered to the waiter that he was after the tabe for 4 and mentioned it was a surprise for me. No wonder the waiter was so welcoming to me. Must have thought it was my 60th birthday or something.

.The place isn’t licensed which I think is a bit poo as it used to be a pub. You can take your own booze, academic to me though as I’m doing Dry January so ordered a coffee whilst the sound of bottles being opened erupted all around me.

My brown sugar and milk came first but there was quite a delay with the actual coffee which caused merriment. Poppadoms are a must. Pezza suggested one each, which simply wasn’t happening. It’s two each minimum by law. We got 3 dips, the mint being ace. I was last to finish the poppadoms and the sauces had run out whilst I still had a full one left. I was never going to summon the waiter to ask for replacements and the lads had all finished theirs, so they weren’t asking. My 2nd poppadom was spent trying to scrape remnants from the sides of the pots.

“We’re not having starters are we?” Pez had asked. “We bloody are” I retorted. I’d checked the menu to make sure they did Nargis Kebabs before sanctioning Josh’s suggestion of this place. It was only Jan 7th but I was still desperate for my first Nargis of the year.

The conversation quickly got very laddie, but was broken up by the food arriving. The Nargis was ace. Despite demolishing it post haste, I was still last to finish. Josh commented that he’d got the smallest lamb chop ever. No wonder he finished first. Although he could probably polish off a 32oz steak in 10 seconds the way he eats.

After the starter I went to the loo, but couldn’t find it and stood in the middle of the restaurant trying my best to look lost. Nobody offered help so I had to ask a waiter,. To be fair, I wasn’t really paying attention, and ended up outside, again looking lost in full view of other diners. That John Travolta meme where he’s just glancing around confused popped into my head.

The mains (Chicken Tikka Masala for me) came and were all enjoyed. We had a 4 well fed and happy lads situation. I managed to annoy Josh with how I ate my food, which is a box we both like to be ticked regularly. We got a free chocolate which I was last to finish as I had been with all other parts of the meal. And people say I’m not consistent.

The bill came and and this is where the fun really started. I sat there with my flexible friend in hand, only to be told cash only. I thought the waiter was just having a giggle so I laughed and said again “can I pay by card?” to be reiterated “cash only”. No sweat for Pez and Comedy but I was struggling. Josh was like “you always pay cash.” This is true. Only when I am forced to pay by card (hello Walsall FC) do I do so, other wise it’s cash always. I’m like Jack Reacher in that respect. This is where comparisons between me and said fictional character end unfortunately. This time though I hadn’t had chance to go to the cashpoint.

In the end Comedy stumped up the money to make up what I hadn’t got. Josh, who had come out for a free meal had to transfer the money to Comedy on his phone as I aint got that kind of capability. “Cracking banter” was Josh’s summing up of the situation to me.

Great visit this. I’ll take my chequebook next time.

Malabar, 7 Anchor Road, Aldridge. Reviewed 09/01/26.

It had snowed. Badly. Storm Goretti had dumped his load and done one. It was the day of our annual quiz team night out. Early on there were discussions as to whether to postpone and having trudged miserably to work on the morning I was all in favour of this. I’m sure the Pools Panel would have ruled favourably. Afternoon pitch inspections were announced and eventually the evening was given the go ahead.

I still wasn’t quite feeling it as I left the house but the snow had caused the postponement of Samosa Friday at work so I was gagging for some Indian goodness. I made my feelings towards snow quite clear in last Sundays blog so won’t reiterate here, but needles to say my frosty attitude towards it hasn’t thawed since.

The Wetherspoons was very busy which was good to see. Morty and Woza were already there and we were soon joined by Mark and Al. Swill had had to pull out last minutes which was a shame but we were soon headed to Malabar.

I’m trying not to make this review a bit samey as my order was identical as two days earlier with just a substitution of a cheese naan for the chapatis being the only thing preventing an unchanged line up.

This time it was Mark who tried to suggest the one poppadom notion. Again I moved quickly to crush this nonsense, and soon we had two each in front of us. My coffee arrived straight away and it was all going well. Someone had to be a nob. Enter stage left me. I somehow managed to knock the mint dip all over the table. I’m not usually clumsy but I certainly dipped out of character here. I cleaned up quickly like Winston Wolfe in Pulp Fiction.

The Nargis Kebab has a different k word here, which escapes me but it’s the same thing. I pondered the combination of Chicken Tikka Masala and Lamb Bhuna (I’ve never had lamb curry, there I’ve said it) but opted just for the chicken one on it’s own. Mark must have read my mine though as he oped for that combo and I was immediately jealous.

Food was good, and it came quickly. It’s licensed and it felt strange seeing my coffee amongst a sea of bottles of Cobra but I was fine. I had cash this time so no issue paying and we got a chocolate at full time so more bonus points.

Upon leaving the Malabar the lads all headed back to Wetherspoons but I made my excuses and left, citing that I wanted to get a bus “before they stopped them due to the snow”, which whilst 100% true, didn’t tell the whole story. I also wanted to get home to catch up with that nights edition of The Traitors. God, I’ve changed.

Cheers all, thanks for reading. I’m off to phone Nargis Anonymous. P.s, it took 9 days but I paid Josh back.