Evo Boozy Scribbler

Back in 2023 I was pondering ways to get around and visit random pubs. I came up with the idea of getting my mate to draw 3 Cluedo cards like would be done at the start of the board game, murderer, implement and room but not tell me. I would then visit pubs with the respective colours of the original 6 suspects in their name and get whoever served me to pick a weapon and room, then at the end when I’d made all 6 accusations, see if I got a full match (murderer weapon and room) and had solved the murder of Doctor Black – the victim in every game.

I quickly shelved the idea but it came back to me in June 2026. In The Walsall Arms beer garden, just after dusk one night, I asked Josh to pick the murderer, weapon and room and take a picture of the cards. I went to the loo while he did this and the game was on. 

The Plum Pudding, Rugeley Road, Armitage, Staffordshire, WS15 4AZ. Visited 18/07/26.

I was guaranteed at least £12 from having Spain in the World Cup sweepstake at work. I decided to start spending it early and take a trip to Staffordshire for my first accusation. Plus with the Saturdays available for enjoyment before Walsall FC start ruining them again running out, it seemed like a good day for a mission.

Upon reaching Rugeley I hadn’t long missed a bus so had a 15 minute wait in the shelter perched on a bar that was more akin to a beam that a gymnast would perform on.

It was a 10 minute or so bus to Armitage which gave my bum time to come back to life. I’m always edgy on an unfamiliar bus and was hoping it would have next stop announcements but alas no. Fortunately I spotted the pub and had chance to ping the bell before the stop. 

I ordered my drink and nearly bottled asking the barman to pick the room and weapon cards. I thought ‘you’ve spent £7 on the train, £3 on the bus here and it’s gonna be £3 back. Just ask the bloody question.’ I grew a pair and did so. He was surprised but obliged. Top man. I nearly explained what I was doing but that would have involved involuntary engagement which isn’t my strong point.

I now realise that I took that picture with the candlestick card upside down. Must have taken it from the perspective of how it would have been brandished. I imagine the conservatory would be the nicest room to be murdered in. Surrounded by plants, bit of Sun shining in. Marvellous.

Nice place this. It seems food based but I found a corner with a nice plant which gave it a conservatory feel like had just been selected.

Music ranged from Bowie to Diana Ross and a song that I didn’t know which if it wasn’t Eliza Doolittle it was someone trying to copy her. Blame It On The Boogie was song of the visit although blame it on Professor Plum was currently more fitting.

I moved outside- most unlike me and found a pleasant decking alongside a canal. The music was still audible with Ego by The Saturdays the pick. Listening to The Saturdays on a Saturday at a canal side pub. Bliss.

We even had a barge pull up. That must be ace, chugging along, seeing a pub then mooring up. I get jealous when people do it outside The Wharf Bar in Walsall.

Lovely visit this. Glad that this blog is finally up and running and Professor Plum…. I’m onto you.

The White Swan – 276 Bradford Street, Digbeth, Birmingham, B12 0QY. Visited 25/07/26.

As a kid I always played as Mrs White with her board piece being my favourite colour. Yep I turned down the advantages of Miss Scarlett getting to start first or Mrs Peacock being one square closer to a room than all the others just so I could have the white counter. 

I was going to go to The White Swan in Bewdley for this one but a combination of a train strike and a dating meet up in Birmingham falling through on this day, I headed here instead.

Great pub this and I hadn’t been since 2022 when visiting as part of my Birdwatching Via Pub Names blog which you can catch up on here.

I entered, ordered my drink and got to work. “Could I ask a little favour please? Could you pick a card out of each of these two piles please?” The barmaid was happy to oblige.

She picked the Kitchen and spanner. Two great selections. I like a Kitchen. One of my favourite rooms. Every home should have one. Spanner is a great word and I refer to myself as one if I’ve made an error and most times I’m correct.

“What’s this for?” She asked. “Well, this is going to sound really random. Have you played Cluedo?” “Years ago yes.” I can’t tell you how relieved I was when she said that. She seemed impressed with the explanation. “So have you solved it?” She asked. “I won’t know until I’ve done the other 4 pubs.” “Well come back and tell me, this sort of thing keeps me awake at night.”

“How many of you are doing this?” She continued. “Just me. All my mates have got ladies and lives.” “Sod it. You’re doing cool stuff.” And she liked my Donkey Kong t-shirt. 

Music was provided by Heart FM’s Club Classics with the picks being DJ Sammy and The Tamperer. Did we ever find out what she’d look like with a chimney on her?

Really enjoyed this visit. Barmaid was great. I’m too shy normally for small talk but she made it easy. I bade them good night vowing that I would return, not leaving it as long as last time to let her know how I’d got one trying to solve. She gave instructions what to do if she wasn’t there. What a pub.

The Green Dragon – 55 Church Street, Darlaston, Walsall, WS10 8DY. Visited 28/07/26.

I’d picked the 5 other pubs but wanted Josh to join me on one mission as he’d picked the actual 3 cards in the first place. I gave him carte blanche to pick a pub with green in the name. He opted for The Bowling Green in Lichfield. However I was buying him a curry afterwards so he picked somewhere nearer. The Green Dragon in Darlaston was one he’d never been in, and less times travelling meant more time currying.

Prior to the visit we discussed “this” and he didn’t really understand it. For starters he’s never played Cluedo. Having a best friend that’s 17 years younger does throw up these occasional differences in life experiences. I explained in more detail than I did initially and showed him The Plum Pudding pics and he was fully on board.

I’m no stranger to this pub but hadn’t been in for about 3 years. I ordered but was nervous about asking the barmaid (possibly Landlady) to pick the cards. But I’d got Josh at my side and I knew he’d step in if it was awkward. However he marched off to the toilet just at the worst moment. 

However upon returning from the till she told me the amount and called me “flower” at the end. That f word just totally relaxed me and I asked. She asked why and whilst she didn’t buy into it quite like the lady at The White Swan but she seemed to like it.

She picked candlestick and Library. You don’t need a motive in Cluedo but this one got me thinking. It’s totally plausible that a man of the cloth would have been used to handling a candlestick. But why would he be in the Library with Dr Black? (The murder victim in each game.)

The best I could come up with is that they both wanted to read Fly Fishing by J.R Hartley and ended up fighting over the only copy. They could have used Yellow Pages to find a local stockist.

I digress. So I’d overturned the cards and put them on the table. I badly wanted to look at Josh to see if there was anything in his expression to suggest if I’d got any right. I resisted but it’s so strange for there to be a secret between us.

Official work done and we could just natter and boy we did. We didn’t shut up for an hour, the only break being when I was singing along to song of the visit. Shania Twain’s “You’re Still The One” which is just one of the best songs ever. 

3 accusations down then and if The Rev is not guilty I shall be popping round to his for a couple of bottles of Communion Wine to celebrate.

Old Peacock Inn – 63 Blackwell Street, Kidderminster, DY10 2EL. Visited 01/08/26.

Mrs Peacock – the elegant middle aged lady of the game. As a kid I had a soft spot for Miss Scarlett but now I’m old enough to be Mr Peacock.

Back story. For this tick I was going to The Peacock, formerly The Angel, Islington when I’m in London in October, but after doing The Plum Pudding I was totally engrossed in this and I couldn’t wait that long. At the time I was reading the book “Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice For Murderers” by Jesse Q. Sutanto which included the line “who knew that solving murder was such fun” and I could now relate to it.

The aforementioned train strike that had scuppered my trip to Bewdley had been cancelled but I hadn’t got round to claiming my refund when this news broke so I ended up going there after all with the tagged on trip to this pub also retained. 

When searching for a nearer Peacock pub than London, a reviewer on Pubs Galore said this place was legendary for being rough and at that juncture I knew I had to visit. For balance, the most recent review called it an old school locals pub with very friendly service.

It was a ball ache to find, I even asked 3 locals – most unlike me and they all couldn’t or wouldn’t help. Eventually I stumbled upon a Sainsburys and called a taxi. The driver took 20 minutes to arrive and then called me Micky which I hate. This had better be worth it I thought as I climbed in. It was.

Upon arrival a bloke in the doorway advised me to watch out for the lady behind the bar as she bites. She didn’t. She was sound and quite happily picked the cards with no questions asked. 

Lead piping and Billiard Room she picked. Billiard Room is the one room in the Tudor Mansion that won’t be in my house should I become a famous, rich writer. I’ll swap it for a pinball room. Lead piping though? I’ve never handled lead but isn’t it soft? You’d be there all night battering someone to death with it. Still, nothing better to do in a room with a billiard table in it. Sock full of billiard balls would be a better option.

The pub itself had England flag bunting up around the bar, earning it a bonus point straight off the bat. 

I’m normally a wallflower in unfamiliar pubs but the locals here were friendly and I felt right at home. I caught up with the lady from behind the bar outside. Turns out she’s the landlady. I explained why I was there and she said the place used to have a reputation for being rough but it’s much better now.

I liked the place so much I stayed for a second drink. On the way out it was handshakes and “goodbyes” all round. The first bloke I’d spoken to asked if I’d be back and I eagerly said yes. I always like to think each town has a me pub in it, and this is the definite me pub in Kidderminster. Shame we didn’t visit on the Kidderminster crawl that we did back in 2017.

What a place. Thank you Mrs Peacock for leading me here.

Little Scarlet Door, 12-13 Greek Street, Soho W1D 4DL. Visited 11/08/26.

This was my first visit to Soho and if I’m being totally honest, I wasn’t sure at first if I’d be let in the bar itself. “Are you just having a drink?” Asked one last as I entered. “Just a quick drink, if that’s ok?” I replied almost apologetically. 

I headed to the bar and ordered Diet Coke and asked if I could pay by card – still in apologetic mode. Thankfully it was yes. I hate paying by card, had been wandering round London all day without seeing a cashpoint and had run out of hard currency.

After a snag with the machine the payment went through and we could get down to business. “Could I ask a favour please?” Apologetic mode seemingly here for the duration. “Of course.” I produced the cards and asked the question. 

She agreed but asked if she had to pick at random or could she go through them. Everyone else had picked at random from the face down packs but I let her choose at will. She said she’d heard of Cluedo but never played it. She made her choices and I asked if she wanted an explanation.

She absolutely loved what I was doing, how I’d had to search online for Scarlett pubs, picked here and travelled from Walsall to visit. When I mentioned I was blogging she offered to take pictures of me in front of the door, asking if I wanted a closed door outside one or just an internal one. 

Back at the bar I said how much I loved the place and asked if I should come back and tell her if she’d picked correctly which she was up for.

She picked Ballroom- excellent choice. I’d love a Ballroom in my house and also candlestick- the 3rd time that has come out. I’m in trouble if it’s not candlestick.

The place was busy for a late afternoon Tuesday. It was stylish, there was a bike and a set of ski’s on one well. I have no imminent need for either so left them there.

Music was varied with Robbie Williams giving way to Black Eyed Peas though I think they missed a trick by not playing the 90’s classic Independent Love Song by Scarlet. Although I would have joined in heartily and I’m not sure how me belting out “I’ll show you how to take me, go down, go down” would have sat with the high class ladies in the vicinity.

Great but sadly brief visit this. On the way out I thanked the barmaid again and gave her a “I’ll be back” and she replied “you’d better be.” Then I blew her a kiss which is the most un me thing ever. 

Normally in unfamiliar places, I buy a drink, then retreat to the furthest point from people and just soak in the ambience. This daft challenge though is getting me to engage more and it’s doing the confidence good.

I wasn’t lying. Little Scarlet Door and Soho in general, I want more. 

Ye Olde Mustard Pot, Midhope Hall Lane, Midhopestones, Sheffield, S36 4GW. Visited 29/08/26.

I’ll start this one with some exposition. When researching this one I stuck  Mustard into the Pubs Galore search engine. It’s fair to say that I wasn’t overrun with results. The pub in Norfolk that I considered when first pondering this in 2023 has now closed. There were 3 options. One being a bar and grill in Sale town centre simply called Mustard.

Thanking that logistically this would be the easiest to tick off, I opted for that one. However there was an incident on Pub Challenge volume 2 in 2015 where I took a decent walk out of Hednesford, traipsed up and down a street looking for a pub, only for someone to point to a new  housing development and say “that was it.”

So now before travelling I do a bit of due diligence and make sure places are still open. I clicked on the links, both website and to Facebook for Mustard and both were down.

I put the words “Mustard Sale” into Google. Now I love a bargain but hundreds of results for cheap prices on Colman’s finest yellow goodness wasn’t what I was after. I should have asked Jeeves. He knows the score.

After a bit of detective work on Google Streetview I deduced that Mustard in Sale is no more.

So onto plan b. Ye Olde Mustard Pot in Midhopestones. Between Sheffield and Barnsley. It looked in the middle of nowhere and there wasn’t a bus to the village as far as I could tell.

I turned to respected pub blogger retiredmartin as he is from Sheffield, for advice. He went one better offering to meet me and take me there. I’d never met Martin before so jumped at this very kind offer.

It’s a good trek out of Sheffield and then some more. We passed a reservoir and Martin said “the bus would have dropped you over there and you’d have had to walk round the reservoir.” Yeah I wouldn’t have been feeling that. Had the drought lasted another week I could probably have walked across it. It had been bucketing down for days though. Whilst former Walsall FC Manager Sir Ray Graydon can walk on water, I can’t.

I couldn’t hide my excitement as we drew nearer. What started as a daft idea in my head was nearing completion. My final accusation. I’d even dressed smartly for the occasion. And possibly for the pub crawl of Sheffield afterwards.

We timed our arrival badly and it was like Piccadilly Circus at the bar as a large group came in with us. I got nervous about asking.

We ordered coffees but as I put the change away, the man who served me ran off. I approached the barmaid and presented the two packs of cards. She was a bit tentative but did it. Martin chipped in with “it’s OK, he doesn’t bite.” I didn’t hang around at the bar to examine her choices.

She picked study. First time that has come out. I could have done with a secret passage like that room has to get away from the slightly awkward feel at the bar. She also went spanner. Second time that has come up.

We sat down and I asked Martin if he fancied a crack at solving the murder. He did and I handed him the 3 packs of cards and asked if he wanted to pick at random or look through and go with instinct. He went the latter.

He picked Professor Plum, revolver and Library. Here’s a fun fact. The Beatles came up with the album title Revolver after playing Cluedo. John Lennon used to insist on being Mrs Peacock. There’s a small chance that I made all of that up.

It’s a lovely pub. I had a mooch round. The group that came in with us were putting up balloons in the back room. I thanked them and said there was no need to go to so much trouble for me. It was actually for a baby shower. They probably thought someone had booked them a surprise George Dawes-o-gram.

A sign advised the place is available for functions from baby showers to wakes. The circle of life in a sign.

Nice visit this. I’d been wanting to meet Martin for years. Never thought it would be Colonel Mustard out of Cluedo who would instigate it though. Thanks for driving good Sir.

The big reveal.

Black Country Arms, High Street, Walsall, WS1 1QW. Visited 02/09/26.

For the big reveal, I wanted to go to a pub with black in the name in honour of the Doctor that is murdered in every game. Fortunately there is a fabulous one that fits that criteria just 15 minuted walk from my house.

I met up with Josh and we headed in. First up was the murderer. We did this first as it was the one I was guaranteed to get right, having accused all of them over the past 6 weeks. 

Josh produced the Colonel Mustard card. At least all that effort to get to Yorkshire had been worth it. We went weapon next as more chance of getting that. Out came the revolver. The barmaid in Ye Olde Mustard Pot had gone spanner. 

It was over. I wasn’t getting the full set right. Fair play to Martin who picked revolver. I’ll buy him a pint for that next time I see him.

Josh commented “makes sense for a Colonel to have a revolver.” “Clearly didn’t check him for weapons when he left the army” I replied.

Could I get the room right as a late consolation? In short, no. We’d got him doing it in the Study, Josh produced the Lounge card, although he did call it the Living Room, which is definitely my kind of terminology for it. Had Waddington’s still been trading I’d have emailed telling them to change Lounge to Living Room. It’s what the public wants. 

So yeah, I got 1 out 3. Slightly worse than “ain’t bad” in Meatloaf’s perspective. I ticked off new pubs and met some great people along the way. I’m sure one or two of the bar staff must have wondered if I’ve been sectioned at some point. Thanks to all the bar staff who played along.

Maybe I should have the visited places named after the rooms and asked staff to pick the murderer and weapon instead. Reduce the odds a bit. Hmmm, one of my Facebook friends checked into The Conservatory Coffee Shop in Scarborough the other day. No. Somebody slap that idea out of me.

I’ve thoroughly enjoyed this and since Armitage, I’ve started listening to The Saturdays again. So it’s all been worth it. Probably my most bizarre reason for visiting pubs since doing a 147 snooker break using pubs with the respective colours in their names. You can catch up with that blog here.

This is Detective Evans signing off. I’ve got Mrs Peacock coming round for tea. Got to meet her in the Dining Room. Not sure why she’s brought a candlestick. My house is old fashioned but I have lighting.

On Saturday I was off to Sheffield to meet local resident and Pub Twitter Royalty in the form of retiredmartin @NHS_Martin for the first time. He’s a fellow blogger and you can catch his great site retiredmartin – On permanent exploration of places, pubs, people and new music.. He’s visited every pub in The Good Beer, and every year gets the latest edition and ticks off the new entries. Major respect.

I love Sheffield. Have been on Pub crawls a few times, and I boast a 100% record from football visits. 4 defeats for Walsall FC across both stadiums.

First it was McDonald’s. I’d seen in the week the traumatising news that the Toffee Latte is being discontinued in September so I had to grab one for the train. To show my displeasure at this announcement, I shall be boycotting McDonald’s Monopoly this year. Ok, that’s fake news. Of course I won’t. I’ll be there on the first day. And they know this.

The train from Brum was good. The carriage was full of Swansea fans on their way to Derby for the early kick off. Their songs were good. One about a bloke (I don’t know who) being a twat, Kim Yong Un got a mention in another and “Swans away a-ha a-ha I like it” was destined to be in my head all day. 

At Sheffield station there was a queue for the toilets. I’ve never known blokes have to queue for the bogs other than at Crewe’s ground. There were only two urinals and one cubicle was out of order.

Martin was waiting for me outside and whisked me straight off. Driving through what he called “Arctic Monkeys territory” as it’s where they grew up and we saw Hillsborough which was getting ready for the home game against Bromley.

First stop was Cow And Calf which is in an old farm. Other than the sign on the road it has no branding and you wouldn’t know it’s a pub. It’s a Sam Smiths pub (the brewer not the strange singer bloke) and a “digital detox” venue like all of his establishments so no phones or laptops are allowed. No music, jukebox or fruit machines either.

The barmaid was friendly and the building was lovely. It felt very Emmerdale Farm. I did search the pub just case Patsy Kensit was about. She wasn’t.

From there it was off to the village of Midhopestones and Ye Olde Mustard Pot. This was the main reason for today’s trip. It was a good drive out and gave us chance to talk. Pubs were the main focus, and football came up. Martin revealing that he attended both legs of our 9-3 play off semi final defeat in 1993. Didn’t think that would be popping up in the conversation. I’ve only just completed the therapy that I needed after that.

Deacon Blue also cropped up. I’d mentioned on Twitter recently in response to one of his blogs that my fave song of theirs is “Fergus Sings The Blues” but I also liked another one that I didn’t know the name of. I hate having gaps in my music knowledge. I tried to explain what I think the lyrics are. “”There’s a girl, in a big world, with a big smile.” I wasn’t convinced I’d got them right when relaying them and guessed I didn’t sound it. Didn’t attempt to sing it. Didn’t want to risk being dumped in the middle of nowhere.

It was a stunning drive though with some great scenery. Martin turned down my offer of petrol money. He said he’d rather be visiting pubs than sitting in the house. I was so grateful though. Would have been a ballache to get to via public transport. Ye Olde Mustard Pot was great but I’ll go into that visit another time. You can now read about that visit here.

We stopped at Martins for him to drop off the car and pick up Mrs RM as she’s called on his blog. From there we headed to Blind Monkey, their local. It was busy with Sheffield Wednesday fans enjoying pre match suppage.

Martin shouted us all pizza. I tried to pay but was waved away with the line “buy the chips when I come to Walsall.” I can certainly deal on those terms. The pizza was ace and the pub great. A place like that on my doorstep would ruin me, both financially and health wise.

From there we went back to their lovely house for a cuppa. En route I noticed a delivery driver had left a box on a doorstep in the rain. Hope it wasn’t full of fireworks or blotting paper.

We were going to get the bus back into the city but it was delayed by 19 minutes. Martin was shocked by this but it sounded like heaven compared to what I used to have to put up with on the 334 to work in Bilston.

The walk was good though and I got to see the “horrific” as it was referred Ronnie O’Sullivan mural that had made national news the day before.

The rain was getting harder but we still saw a top less bloke who didn’t give a rats ass about the conditions. A top less bloke is always a good box ticked.

The Wellington was next, Martin commenting that you can get “a cob and a beer that’s too strong.” He then ushered me into a side room where he said  “magic happens.”

I hadn’t been following the Walsall score but saw it was  2-1 to us at half time. Our goals were in the 8th minute and 45 + 6. I’d have missed both had I been there. Another good pub this, busy with a great atmosphere.

The rain came down harder and I admitted defeat. I’d gone full “I can handle the rain, I’m used to it as a lower league football fan” but now it was taking the piss after months of drought. I’d made a last second decision to put my raincoat in my man bag and stuck it on. I was going to get increasingly pleased with that decision as the day wore on.

“What’s the best thing to do in the rain?” Martin asked. I didn’t need to phone a friend on this one. “Go to the pub” which was the correct answer. We turned a corner and were at Shakespeares. Obviously named after Craig Shakespeare who played for both Walsall and Wednesday.

This a cool, student vibey place with decent music. Song of the day contender Acquiesce by Oasis came on. I didn’t want to be that staring at phone screen guy but the Walsall match was drawing to a close, do I checked. We were 3-2 up, 8 minutes of stoppage time and the BBC website seemed stuck on 90 +6 for yonks with the live text reporting that Albert Adomah was giving away free kicks in attacking positions. Honestly it was worse than waiting for full time to come up on Ceefax. Noel Gallagher was belting out “cause we neeeeeeeeed each other.” Noel, I’d normally agree but right now we need full time more. It came up on Martins phone first. Nice win Saddlers. Sheffield Wednesday win 7-2 so there was much rejoicing.

The clock was ticking though so we had to depart even though The Cure were just starting. I can’t remember which song, sorry. I don’t minute everything.

As we approached The Howard, Martin mentioned we’d done 8000 steps that day. I’d probably done 2000 more though with toilet visits. The Howard had the first fruit  machines I’d seen all day and was very lively with pro Oasis Chesterfield fans in good voice. Acquiesce was following us around determined to nail song of the day.

We made a dash to Rutland Arms which is my Sheffield “must visit” pub. Home of the Slutty Rutty Butty – my favourite pub food name along with the Smelly Elly Burger at the Elephant & Castle in Lewes.

I inadvertently but absolutely gate-crashed a photo being taken of two ladies. I apologised and they laughed it off. I reckon they secretly favourited the one with me. I was surprised that in a city that gave us Arctic Monkeys, Pulp, Human League and Reverend and The Makers that someone put I Should Be So Lucky on the jukebox – or the play music box thing as the sign above it said on my first visit. I don’t mind a bit of Kylie though so all good. I did notice that two of those artists are on the permanently banned list.

It was time to bid Martin and Sheffield goodbye but I’ll definitely see both again. Only The Howard and Rutland Arms were revisits so good to tick more Sheffield pubs off but I’m hungry for more.

The station toilet queue was longer than earlier but during the day someone had taken it upon themselves to declare the out of order cubicle open and had moved the cone slightly out the way and left the tape hanging down. I didn’t use it.

The train was half an hour late but was a quieter ride than earlier. I made friends with the lad next to me, a Plymouth fan. He instigated it, well it would never be me and I told him to make sure he claimed compensation for the delay.

Back in town I popped to the Walsall Arms just to round the day off. It was Jodi’s request night and she asked me to pick a song and put me right on the spot and my mind went blank. I should have asked for Deacon Blue’s back catalogue until that song came on.

I only had one then popped to Danny’s Chicken as it’s been centuries since my last visit. He gave me a piece on top of my order which rounded the day off nicely.

It was now monsoon season in Walsall but I cared not. Not even the rain was putting a dampener on that cracking day. I still had “Swans away a-ha a-ha” in my head.

First home game of the season. Always a time of great excitement. Following two great away wins I was really up for this one.

It was Jack & Ada’s for brekkie. Not been for a while but it gave me chance to check out what must be the world’s slowest demolition project, nearby. Inside owner Paul and his son Sam were looking resplendent in matching Walsall away shirts from 1995.

There were already a few fellow Saddlers in, including John and Kimbo. John departed to do his Swifty duties so I replaced him at Kimbo’s table. Only the second time that I’ve sat in the lower tier in there.

Food came quickly and was great. I doused it in black pepper to boost my metabolism. I try to eat sensibly during the week but Saturday is “inject the calories into me” day. Kimbo was going pub after this, I was going Mozzas. My pre match has certainly changed and not for the better. They didn’t have the wholemeal wraps that I’d gone in for.

I got in the ground about a minute before kick off but that was far too early to go in the stand. I headed into the Bescot Bar, wished one of the barmaids “happy new season” then much to my surprise and delight the coffee machine was both working and still £1.50 a go. Inflation may have reached other parts of the ground but not this bit.

At half time I saw Josh and he mentioned a spare seat by him. Now Josh and I met through Walsall FC in 2010 and became bezzie mates but we really don’t do Walsall FC together. I’ve been with him at 3 away games and have never sat by him at home.

I accepted his offer and told my Niece Amber that I was going up. “What? Already?” It’s the earliest I’ve gone up for the second half in years. She’s only 33 so not really had the chance to experience me leaving the bar before her.

Match was 0-0. Decent point. My only grumble was we turned attack in defence quite quickly a couple of times but I like this team a lot. Jed Ward is class. Cheers to Pez for sorting me a ticket.

Post match and it was up to The Railway Club in Pleck to raise a glass for the recently deceased Belgian Saddler Neil Adams.

Asps, a long standing friend of Belge had played a blinder in putting it together and getting Neil’s family to the game, some from Belgium.

There was a great turn out. Saw folks I hadn’t seen in years and had some great catch ups.

Asps provided a great anecdote filled speech and then Neil’s daughters did some very moving tributes. So emotional.

I have some fantastic memories of Belge, probably topped when we were best men at Mark Cassell’s wedding. That day and the stag do that proceeded it saw Belge in his element.

Asps had sorted some amazing cobs and I watched with pride as Josh removed the tomato from his. He has inspired me in so many ways, and it was good to see him  doing something straight out of my manual.

I had a great chat with Kev Paddock who shouldn’t have even been in the country. He should have been in Las Vegas but a combination of illness and injury to him and his partner Rico had ruled that out. He gave a shrug and said “Pleck or Vegas eh?” I said it sounded like an album title and asked if I could nick it.

So cheers to Mark Andy Phil Claire Nicky Jonah Elliot Mark Vicky, Tomo Sue Matt Charlotte Jayne Ryan Granty Paul Simon Leon Bodger and everyone else that I saw. I’m bound to have missed someone.

Big shout out to Ollie and Jane behind the bar along with the two other ladies serving drinks. They did a great job. The Railway Club is open before all home games and is fully decked out in wall to wall Walsall FC paraphernalia including a calendar with Aden Flint as Mr August. It’s well worth a visit.

Josh and I departed. I wanted to retick off the old Bar NV as it has another new name. Despite my best efforts I didn’t manage to tick it off as Room 112. They were somewhat relaxed with their approach to trading and I only saw it open once, marching in to find a private party in full flow.

Josh said it had been open the night before with disco lights in full flow. We strolled along Wednesbury Road – dodging a prostitute on the early shift and got there to find it closed.

Josh had received a call from his wife Lyndsey offering a Chinese if he he got home before 8, paid for by his youngest daughter. He had to pay after 8 so he decided to get the bus and take up his daughters offer.

I strolled into town and stopped on a bench for a social media break. Whilst there a kid came along gleefully kicking a box all the way down Bradford Street then two others were setting about each other with those foam scaffolding protectors. And that poll said Walsall is a miserable unfriendly town? It’s just fun fun fun like the Red Dawrf theme. At this point I should mention that I am very unfriendly. I didn’t take part in the survey. I’d have dragged the score down, had I spoken to them obviously.

I was heading to Katz as I hadn’t seen Jase and Mel for a few weeks, grabbed some pound notes and walked the long way around.

I’m very easily startled but not easily surprised. I was about to be the latter. At the bottom of Leicester Street a horse came casually around the corner and stopped outside the Wetherspoons. It had showed about the same level of urgency as the horses that I tend to back in The Grand National, but I understood this. Last orders was still hours away. Perhaps it wanted a whisky and a er steeplechaser. Sorry, it took me half an hour to think of that pun so had to use it.

I heard an “Evo” but I was still in shock at the horse so didn’t quite respond immediately but then looked around to see Mase, Sean, Chris, Panda and Jack.

“Are you coming to the Tap And Tanner?” I was asked, possibly by Mase.
“There’s a horse” is all I could respond. “What?” I reiterated it and they were all shocked too. But yes, I agreed to The Tap.

As I entered I saw Sarah Allen on her way out and gave her a peck on the check but instead of the usual greeting, all I could utter was “There’s a horse down there”. Not sure she believed me, and why would she? I was pleased she turned round to look.

I don’t go in The Tap much nowadays – no real reason but not been in since St George’s Day so was up for it. I was served straight away which was ace. Service has been really bad at times in the past and as I walked outside I remembered the time I bumped into Kev Paddock and Dan Gilbert in there and offered to buy a round. Kev produced a £20 note and said he’d sort the round if I fetched them. He actually thought I’d run off with his money with how long it took me to get served that time.

Outside, Sean and Jack had this blue drink which looked as wrong as it did intriguing. I meant to ask what it was but I was still thinking about the horse. Mase commented that drinking that would be like sucking on a toilet block.

Panda asked if I’d just got in town like they had. I replied I was going Katz but I came this way (a) in case I saw a horse and (b) in case I bumped into folk, both boxes ticked.

Odd incident of the day came shortly afterwards. A lad who had already come over to convey that he was in an advanced state of refreshment wandered over to me again and asked if I could do him a favour which I agreed to.

“Could you check if my mate has a little dick?” Said mate was advancing towards me with hands on his belt buckle and a grin on his face. It didn’t happen and we laughed it off. Panda was “you don’t half attract them.” I certainly seem to.

The group broke up shortly afterwards and I headed to Katz, noting that the horse had gone. It was probably making its way upstairs in Wetherspoons for a piss.

In Katz, Joe advised that they had alcohol free Cobra in so I had to give that a whirl.

A band were set up outside and as much as I wanted to stay, I was envious of Josh’s Chinese and getting peckish so I drained the Cobra – which was decent and headed next door to Lucky Star.

There was a very friendly welcome. The usual lady, who arrived here on a Bosman from Lee Garden on Stafford Street wasn’t on. I wondered if she’d got another move during the Summer transfer window. She must have a good agent.

With sweet and sour crispy king prawn balls in hand I wished the nice lady goodnight and wondered home.

Great day, decent point for the Saddlers and Belge got the send off he deserved.

Stop press.

As I strolled through Walsall last night 29/08/26, what did I see ? The R1 Bar (Old Bailey) has a new sign. Room 112 has moved then? Hope I get to tick it off in it’s new home. It could have already reopened for all I know but just adopting the opening hours of its time on Bradford Street.

I’d been looking into Gillingham (a) but the coach I was considering was full and the trains were £80 which I couldn’t really justify in the same week I’d used them to go to Scotland and London. Literally seconds after I closed the Trainline tab I got a message from Sean. 

Last year he asked me to be best man at his wedding and now he was sorting a meet up of his “Groom Avengers.” Did I want to go to a bottomless brunch at a horror themed bar in Birmingham? It was the same day as Gillingham but I’ve never done a bottomless brunch and the bar sounded good. Plus it was a bit closer so basically Sean 1 Gillingham 0.

In Birmingham I wanted to flick the v’s at Santander again but as I approached I realised I needed pound notes so popped in and used the machine. The air con was immense which distracted me but I still flicked the v’s mentally which worked well for me. It’s the way forward.

We were meeting at The Square Peg. I know The Square Peg is the Wetherspoons by Snow Hill, it’s the one I use the most but I always doubt myself and wonder if I’m getting mixed up with the ones on Broad Street. I had to send a text to reassure myself I was going to the right place. I was. 

I was first there giving me time to grab a latte and a table and was soon joined by the happy couple Sean and Sammy along with Sean’s sister Claire and cousin Owen and their friend Drew. I’d met Claire and Drew previously at the awesome Ming Moon night – catch up on that blog here but first time meeting Owen. 

First discussion was about directions. Sammy coming up with an early contender for “Line Of The Day” with “I don’t come with a built in GPS system.” I told her “I can relate to that” and advised that I would be plagiarising the comment. It fits me very well. 

It was only a brief visit, long enough for me to claim a free refill of latte then it was time for the main event. Merlins. We turned off Corporation Street, and through a passage and there it was. 

Sean certainly wasn’t lying about it being horror themed. Two floors of it. I had to explore. There was a massive skeleton. I was terrified of these as a kid. In hindsight I should ask why as an 8 year old I was allowed to watch horror films. No such thing as safeguarding in the 1980s. Good job that I saw The Chemical Brothers “Hey Boy, Hey Girl” video a few years ago to reassure me that I was over this fear. 

I had to reign in the exploring as we had other business to attend to.

Sean – “the worst thing about a bottomless brunch is the eating part.” Another great line.

The main food options were Monster Munch, Black Widow Bark, Scream & Gore and Zombie Brain – which was the vegetarian option. I went Monster Munch – not crisps I might add (beef are the best, don’t came at me with pickled onion) but a pulled pork and fries dish with 3 Mozzarella sticks as the side.

The table could have doubled up as a ouija board. I opted not to use it for that purpose. I’ve seen films were it doesn’t go terribly well.

Food came quickly and the serviettes were either white or red. My two favourite colours. They were doing their best to impress me. I hate having to make decisions on an empty stomach so went predictable. I went white.

Food was decent. Sean compounded his earlier comments about eating by leaving some of his food to press on with the drinking. Drew and I were on hand though to hoover up the leftovers, Sean commenting that he’d sat by the right two people.

Music was loud and mostly metal but I knew the odd one or two. A rocked up version of The Killers Somebody Told Me being a high point. 

There was still exploring to do. I found stocks that just had to be utilised and the toilets were something else. The film Saw popped in my head but they could have been based on any slasher flick.

About 6pm a dj came on and invited requests. Sean rushed up. I wondered if he’d asked for Nothing Matters by The Last Dinner Party as he’d done at my birthday bash, knowing I love it but I quickly realised that one wasn’t quite in keeping with the general music policy. In truth I know not what he asked for as he gave portions to everything else that came on.

Class place this. Lads on the bar were great as was the lady collecting the glasses. Even if the music isn’t to your taste you need to go just for the decor. I’ve only posted about 2/3 of the pictures that I took and there is plenty to see in there. It’s on Martineau Place about 10 minutes walk from New Street.

Time was getting on so I said my goodbyes and departed. I needed a little hors d’oeuvre so popped to McDonald’s “on the ramp” as the locals call it. I clearly wasn’t yet sated with the old Mozzarella sticks as I had a little pack of those to keep the metabolism ticking over. The hot honey sauce is amazing. Get on it.

On the train, a little kid played Baby Shark all the way back to Walsall. A bit of yang to go with the metal yin that Merlins had provided. 

Class day. Thanks to all involved and Walsall got a superb 3-0 victory to round it off nicely. 

A week last Tuesday I headed to London again for more Monopoly board visits.
In Walsall McDonald’s my order was my lucky number 44. I knew it was going to be a good day.

As it was the school holidays, the train had a few kids on it so plenty of shrieking and wailing. It was like listening to Destiny’s Child. I had my Do Not Pass Go book by Tim Moore with me again so I absorbed myself into the chapters on Whitechapel Road and Fenchurch Street and the background noise melted away.

At Euston I headed straight to lost property to see if anyone had handed in the boxer shorts that I lost in June. They hadn’t. I hope their new owners are enjoying them.

As per normal a beaming smile broke out on my face as I approached the Underground. There was a slight hold up as a whole family had a committee meeting in front of the platform destination board but once gone I deduced quickly I needed Victoria Line platform 5. I missed a train by seconds. I wondered if this was my Sliding Doors moment of the day.

Piccadilly was bathed in sunlight as I left Green Park (by the wrong exit again). It felt like a different street to the one I trudged up and down on that grey rainy (remember that?) day in June. It still looks like a building site though, even more so than last time. It’ll be nice when it’s finished.

I had unfinished business with Vine Street after that last unsuccessful visit. This time the place on the corner was open. I strolled in, politely explained what I was doing and asked the bloke on Reception if he’d sign the board. “No no no no. I can’t do that.” There may have been an extra no, I stopped  counting.

A man came down the stairs and sat on a sofa. I approached and had barely got to the x in “excuse me” when he put his palm up and said “no.”

Outside a builder was heading into the construction site on the opposite corner. I asked him and he refused as he was “working on Piccadilly.” Finally I asked a nice looking lady who agreed straight away and wished me “happy exploring.”

Vine Street may have top billing in the orange set but it’s the shitest street on the board and I can’t believe I had to ask 6 people over 2 visits to get it signed off. On the Monopoly Pub Crawl, the nearby Leicester Arms is suggested for this tick, but I wanted it ticked on the street. I have added Leicester Arms to my to do list though. I might go in there one day and make it all about me. They won’t be expecting that.

Bow Street was a lot simpler. I needed a Diet Coke break and headed for the Marquess Of Anglesey. Bloke behind the bar in the pub signed with a smile. I assume this place will be subjected to Westminster Councils proposed bizarre ban on standing in pubs. Will the Bow Street Runners be reformed to help police this?  I sat down to practice.

Orange set done. Now to finish the reds. After London Calling had finished playing.

I always felt I was destined to end up on Fleet Street. Once home to all the countries finest newspapers except for the Walsall Advertiser. I believe they are all gone now. Pubs remain though. I opted for some Ye Olde Cock action. Probably the narrowest pub I’ve been in and there was a squeaky floorboard behind me that was being set off giving me slight horror movie vibes.

Guy behind the bar knew the score. As I wrestled with the board he was “it’s the other side”, “it’s a red” and then pointed it out. “You’ve done this before” I commented and he laughed. Decent pub but at £4.55 for a can of Coke Zero, I feel you’d need to be on a journalists wage to be a regular.

I’m very superstitious and don’t believe in passing on the stairs. In this place this isn’t possible as the ones down to the toilets are a one at a time jobbie. Someone was coming up so I stepped back to let him upand held the door open for which I received no thanks.

At Trafalgar Square I saw an ice cream man. I was straight with him. “If I buy an ice cream, will you sign my Monopoly board please?” He was taken aback but agreed. It seems like decades ago – it was April, when I ticked off The Strand, so this was a good mission. I got another tick and an ice cream. Red set has fallen. Everybody on the Northern Line were jealous of my ice cream. Good job I didn’t have a 99. I’d have been wrestled for it.

Fenchurch Street railway station is a bit odd. You’ve really got to know it’s there and is I believe the only mainline London terminus not connected to the underground. The ladies in the coffee place were brilliant though. Both friendly, the first stressing that my pen was dying so got another one then summonsed her colleague to sign it too which was a struggle as stations provide the least room for scribbles.

I grabbed a much needed coffee and the first lady offered to take pictures of me. Which naturally I accepted. I was wished well for the rest of the day. Cracking tick this. Folks be more Fenchurch Street and less Vine Street.

I did wonder what the lady in ticket office thought when she saw me tap through the barriers, then tap back out 5 minutes later with a coffee.

The Blind Beggar on Whitechapel Road has a bit of a history. The scene of Ronnie Kray’s shooting of George Cornell. Not my first time here as we came before Leyton Orient (a) around 7 or 8 years ago, and on the first day of Pub Challenge 3 in 2017.

I asked the barmaid if she’d sign the board and she laughed, as did a fellow customer. “Do you get that a lot?” “We really do.” She had a sticker ready which was cool. You have to visit The Blind Beggar when in the vicinity.

Whitechapel Road is bustling and of course steeped in history as the scene of Jack The Rippers killings. There is a walk and talk about that I wanted to do as part of this trip but didn’t get round to booking it but I will do it one day, but now it was solo in Soho time.

I’ve heard of Soho and aware of the nature of the place but I was taken aback by how vibrant it was, late afternoon of a Tuesday. The pubs were busy, 2 restaurants had queues to get in – I didn’t join either.

Monopoly was being given half an hour off and I had a side mission at Little Scarlet Door on Greek Street. Greek Street wasn’t living up to its name. I didn’t see a plate get smashed, no shouts of “opa” were audible and there wasn’t any toga parties in the vicinity. I didn’t feel the urge to order Ouzo.

The venue was great, stylish and although I didn’t feel like their usual customer, I had a great chat with the barmaid. I’ll go more in depth another time but this has shot into my must revisit list.

So yes, I need to give Soho a more thorough visit, especially when I saw a sign saying “Gunpowder modern Indian restaurant.” I need that in my life.

I’ve not had a KFC in centuries, since the one in Asda Walsall closed so I dived in one I saw heading back. As I waited I mulled. My train was 90 minutes away. Could I sneak in Coventry Street? It didn’t seem far but with my navigation skills it could be round the corner and I’d struggle to find it – I’d taken a wrong turn coming back from Greek Street so there was scope for a disaster.

Nope, I’m not a brave man, so once the chicken was demolished I headed towards Euston.

On the Northern Line I thought it should embrace its northerness by providing passengers with free gravy and chips. Andy Burnham should look to implement this. Would be a right vote winner.

Back at Euston, to kill time I opted to look for the hotel I’ve booked in October for the final day of this Monopoly thing. Of course I took the wrong turn, walked back the way I’d come and eventually found it once I’d had the ingenious idea of walking the right way. I was giving up though and spotted it just as I was thinking I’d been scammed.

There was 40 minutes left when I got back to Euston and of course I left it to the last second before deciding to buy water for the journey and then having to run for the train. Never a good look.

Great day this. Checking my bank the next day it cost £8.90 for 5 tube journeys and 3 on the bus. I know not if I was charged into and out of Fenchurch Street but you can’t knock that value. It’s £3 from Walsall town via the 3 stops to my house.

Cheers London. 9 properties left to visit. See you in October.

Asps rang me last week to mention that he was taking Josh’s wife Lyndsey out to Lockside Steakhouse in Stourbridge while he was away and did I want to join them. As I’d reviewed The Lockside Cafes in the old BHS and the Saddlers Centre in Walsall while they were open, I jumped at this chance to complete the hat trick. 

A friendly welcome was received and we were quickly seated with Pina Coladas or penis colada as they are known in our circles, ordered. I went alcohol free with mine. 

The menu was extensive and took some perusing. Although in a steak house, none of us ordered steak. I’m sure this contravenes some local by law. 

Asps went for Lamb Henry as it sounded like Lenny Henry, Lyndsey went halloumi and as I’d been craving King prawns all week I went for those although my decision not to have the Black Country faggots continues to eat away at me even as I write this days later.

Other things that caught my eye were the warm Scotch egg starter and the cheeseburger being called Dr Cheese. I am going to campaign for us to employ a Dr Cheese at the Manor Hospital. He or she could prescribe us all some Wensleydale and crackers at dinnertime. Morale would go through the roof.

Asps suggested a sharer as a starter and we went Texas bbq which had pork ribs, chicken wings and corn on the cob. 

There was no music which was fine by me and the conversation was great. My mocktail was epic. 

Food came quickly. I have a take or leave relationship with ribs but my God these were in the take camp. So meaty and flavoursome. The chicken wings were fab. I politely declined corn on the cob. It took me 51 of my 52 years to stop sifting out sweetcorn from Pot Noodles before adding the water but I’m not yet ready for it in on the cob form.

The king prawns were garlic, lemon and parsley flavoured with lemon mayo, fries and flat bread. They were epic. 

Lyndsey couldn’t eat all of her onion rings and offered the rest to me. Onion again is something I’ve only just taken too. I used to remove it from cheese and onion cobs. Which got me strange looks. These were really good. So crispy. 

Asps and I had coffee to finish, espresso and latte respectively. There was time before departure for Lyndsey to send a selfie of her and myself to her husband Josh which he loved.

So, the food was great, service efficient and friendly with superb company. Asps footed the whole bill which was very decent of him. Cheers fella. 

It’s well worth a visit this place. Here is the website. Lockside Steakhouse

Following the success of volume 1 – detailed here, I felt I needed to get back out there and do more curry. Tough job yeah, but somebody’s got to do it.

Kiran’s Balti – 7 Church Street, Darlaston, WS10 8DU. Reviewed 11/05/26.

I’d been on a mission in Darlaston, had an hour or so to kill before I had to be in Wednesbury and was peckish. I was aware of this place having been once before with Cardboard Boxes 2 Go colleagues Shelley, Justine and Ade and upon reaching the place I saw a 4 course meal for £15 offer on. Go on then.

I was the first customer. So early, the waiter had to turn the toilet light on for me.

It’s a nicely decked out place and my table had a choice of black or red chair. I chose red. 

Nargis Kebab could be starter or a main. What was it going to be as a main? An ostrich egg? I need to go back and “research.” The starter list is extensive but obviously as soon as I saw the Nargis it was “come to daddy.” 

Didn’t have to wait long for the Nargis. It was slightly overcooked but I had a good go at the salad. The day before I’d had my first ever “fill your own” salad box from Mozzas (Morrisons) so I must finally be getting a taste for it. Old me would have just picked at the purple onion. Yes, I’m one of those that refuses to call them red onion. 

Chicken tikka massalla and cheese naan was the main and it was great. The naan was one of the best yet. 

I had a panic about if I could pay by card and thankfully I could but the bill came to £17.50 with the coffee which was exactly what I had in His Majesty’s coins and notes so that worked well. The bill came with a chocolate too.

Some more folk had turned up, so I hope they appreciated my good work in getting the loo light on. Strange feeling as I left the curry house in broad daylight but it was a great visit. 

Simla – 29 High Street, Walsall Wood, WS9 9LR. Reviewed 20/06/26.

Rob Harvey messaged one day and offered to shout me a curry for missing my birthday. I’m very easily bought and curry is one of the currencies that I accept. I agreed post haste. He suggested Mizan Spice in Walsall Wood with the recommendation of the chicken tikka. Google and Mizan’s own website said it opened at 5pm so we agreed to meet there at that juncture.

The number 10 bus was behaving – that can’t be said of some of the fellow passengers and I was at Mizan Spice bang on time. Rob arrived and we marched in. “Are you open?” Asked Rob. I don’t like talking so let him take the lead in these situations. “You can have take away, but you can’t sit in until 6.”

We trudged out. “We’ve got an hour to kill then” announced Rob. “No we haven’t. We’re going elsewhere.” I appreciate that this stance makes me sound like a nob. I swear I’m a patient man but when the widest of the world’s web has advised 5pm opening, I’m not hanging around till 6. Wait an hour for my poppadoms? Ain’t nobody got time for that.

We had an emergency committee meeting and opted for Simla on the main street. It’s been on my radar for a while so was up for ticking it off.

After Rob experimented with a couple of parking spots we headed in and no issues here. It’s a cozy little place, and because I’m sad and got absolutely no life I took time to count the seats. It holds 24 but I’m no Rachel Riley so it may be 1 or 2 either way. Decked out heavily with artificial flowers too and it’s a nice environment. We were the first seated customers but it soon became apparent that take away sales were doing well.

“They do Nargis Kebab. Are you having one?” Asked Rob. I hadn’t even looked at the starters. Rob was paying and I didn’t want to take the piss. “Can I please?” “Of course.” Go on then. 

Two Butter Chickens are listed. One called Butter Chicken and the other Tandoori Makhani Masala. I’ve learned about as much in life as Sam Cooke did at school but I do know that Makhani is a posh word for butter chicken so I went for the one with the sexier name and a cheese naan. Along with the obligatory Nargis. 

Rob grilled the waiter before going Chicken Pakora starter, Special Mixed Balti requesting extra chicken within which I didn’t know was a thing. I’d already ordered but I’m so trying that next time. He rounded off with garlic fried rice and 2 chapattis. 2 Chapattis is usually my standard but as we were eating early I wanted filling up hence the cheese naan. Don’t think the place is licensed but I’m willing to be wrong. We both went Diet Coke and didn’t ask about booze.

The Nargis was OK. Cheese naan epic and curry really good. Rob called it standard high street fare and gave it 7/10. He then said I should rank curry meals on how much out of 10 I’d have it as my last death row meal. Yep, this one wouldn’t be that. I then pondered what I’d end up on death row for. I won’t go into that here. I can be quite twisted when I put my mind to it.

Music was standard curry house tuneage but one song towards the end I really got into. I was proper bopping in my seat. Sadly I don’t have apps that can advise song details but I’d describe it as Bhangra Enrique Iglesias who’d been partially inspired by Spin Doctors “Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong.” 

Toilet was clean but somewhat compact. Old 16 stone me might have had fun trying to leave it. Music could just about be heard which I know is important to Swill- he docks points for breaches of this.

The hand wipe towels were hot and free chocolate provided which gets points from me.

Decent enough meal. Cheers Rob. I’m off to research what they wear on death row and see if I’ll look decent in it.

Old Engine – 14 Bull Street, Darlaston, WS10 8AX. Reviewed 28/07/26.

I walked past this 3 million times when I was working for Corroy Products, it had a different name then. Two letters I think. JD’s is in my head but appreciate I could be getting mixed up with a sports shop.

My then colleague Marie and I visited every Darlaston pub in search of our Friday dinner time pint venue, but despite being the closest to our work, we didn’t do this place. We were young. We didn’t realise a shorter walk meant more drinking time.

It was 2011, 11 years after I left Corroy that I made my only previous visit when Woza took me in for a Pub Challenge volume 1 tick.

We weren’t going here this night but it ended up being a late, emergency plan b when Gupshup Lounge in Walsall town centre we were going to wasn’t open on a Tuesday despite the times on their Facebook page advising otherwise.

Josh suggested Old Engine, called and checked food times and we made it for 8.45pm, 15 minutes before (food) last orders.

Drinks were cheap. £4.50 for a Sharps Atlantic and a Pepsi Max. The barman lost a point though for giving Josh my change.  

I was famished so didn’t peruse too much, opting just for the large mixed grill £20 while Josh went smaller mixed grill £17 and Masala chips £3. I checked he didn’t want more. I was paying as a thank you to him for all the times he cooks for me at his but he assured me he was happy. 

The mixed grills contained “green tikka” and “Malai tikka.” Not sure on either but the former intrigued me more. I don’t do green food. Cabbage? No. Sprouts? Absolutely not. Peas? I aint John Major. Green eggs and ham? I do not like them Sam I Am.

Food came quickly – bit too quickly as I was trying to email Josh a document and my phone was playing up and it was stressing me out. I think I thanked the waitress but couldn’t be sure. This stressed me out even more. I must have asked Josh 3 times “did I thank the waitress?” He’d gone into Homer Simpson “can’t talk! Eating” mode.

He got unexpected fish pakora on his which he gave me and I got to work. The thought of not being polite continued to eat away at me faster than I was tucking into the food.

It was really good food though. The Green tikka was different but was good. Time was getting on and we still had another mission at The Green Dragon up the road so I gave Josh my two lamb chops as his cutlery had been dormant for a while. 

Upon finishing I advanced towards the open plan kitchen where the waitress was and basically went overboard with the thanks. It went something like “thank you. Thanks so much. Never had Green tikka before. Thank you for introducing me to it. Thanks again.” They will think I’m polite if it kills me. They were probably thinking ‘alright George, we get the picture. Leave us alone. Or a tip.’

Great visit this. First time there for Josh. He loved it. Good job I no longer work 5 minutes away, I’d be fat and bankrupt after a month 

Toby Tarrant is one of my radio heroes. Mid May he appeared on Chris Moyles’s Radio X show with an announcement. First claiming that he was leaving the station to be the new James Bond. I’ve only ever seen one Bond film – A View To A Kill, but I’d have used my Light Cinema pass to watch him in some 007 movies. He’d be excellent at some of the one liners.

He was jesting. I was glad as he’d be missed on Radio X. He’s on weekdays 10am until 1pm. We have interacted just once before. On 25th December last year he played the Jimmy Eat World version of Last Christmas. This split the audience. I waded in and he read out my tweet proclaiming it as the best version. I stand by this.

The real announcement was his debut stand up show at The Edinburgh Fringe in August. I still dream of doing a show there, am currently writing my second stand up, so I thought I’d make my first visit to said festival to watch the show and check out the vibe. I don’t have many life rules but “don’t turn down a trip to Scotland” is one of them. 

Payday was still 48 hours away but as soon as I got home I lept into action. I had £19 available in my bank – roughly £18 more than I used to have at that time of the month. Enough for a ticket so a few minutes and a mug of tea later I was in.

Payday came and I pondered getting the train back same day. Last one was 6.50. Show was starting at 5 and lasting roughly an hour. I wanted to say hello to Toby at the end. Getting that train would have meant a Phil Collins style Hello, I Must Be Going. Nah

Edinburgh digs were crazy money. I looked at hotels in Glasgow and bingo. By bingo I mean I found one. I wasn’t looking for a hall to play a few games. I got a hotel 5 minutes walk from Glasgow Queen Street railway station. 

I booked a single room for £135. I could pay £5 more for a double bed. Now I had a decision. Do I gamble £5 on me pulling in Scotland? Short answer – no.

Fast forward then to Friday evening and I get an email saying my train to Glasgow the following morning had been cancelled. Cracking banter. I could take the two later ones – no use, the one an hour earlier only went to Carlisle so after a quick Twitter exchange I was on the one 2 hours earlier. My 6 am get up was now 4.45. Which also ruled out my McDonald’s breakfast en route to the station. A long journey without a toffee latte to start it? That will not become a regular feature.

Train journey went well bar a 20 minute delay caused by sheep on the line. Not our train. The one our Train Manager was travelling on to join us at Preston.

I stepped out into Glasgow for the first time. I’ve been to Cumbernauld before when Walsall played Clyde pre season years ago but that’s as close as I’ve got. My mates say it’s an amazing pub crawl though. 

There were no England flags. Thought there would still be some up from the Commonwealth Games but they must have been removed sharpish after the closing ceremony.

It wasn’t raining. A running joke on Nick Abbott’s LBC show is him telling the good folk of Glasgow that it is going to rain there every day for the rest of their lives.

I got a smile off a lady, I smiled back then realised it was for someone behind me.

I was staying at The Z Hotel. Check in was at 3. I’d messaged the day before pleading to check in 15 minutes early. They messaged back with the checking in early tariff. This is where the 2 hour earlier train played a blinder.

After a friendly and the most welcoming of welcomes ever, the five pound I saved on the double bed I used to check in at 1pm allowing me time to shower, drink tea, read some of my book and just relax. 

I have a reputation for liking a shit rough pub, and a dodgy cheap hotel. This wasn’t one. It was modern and stylish with a glass lift. 

Room was great. Television was on and broadcasting a channel I’d never heard of Legend Xtra and showing some soft of space war epic. Everyone involved was very good looking. I felt reassured on that basis that I’d never be called up for said war and celebrated by sticking the kettle on again.

Back in reception, I thanked the lad for the early check in, announced “that’s the best £5 I’ve ever spent” shook his hand and called him a top bloke. Feeling like I’d bothered him enough for the day, I set off for the next instalment of the mission.

Glasgow Queen Street railway station was very busy, even 3 pigeons were in attendance. At one point they landed and a little kid chased them away. This made me quite edgy. I haven’t forgotten what happened in Final Destination 2.

I was peckish. I approached the M & S Foodhall with a sense of trepidation. I couldn’t afford M & S when it was in Walsall so was already wincing on behalf of my bank manager as I stepped inside with railway station pricing already factored in. Turns out it was £3.75 for a ham and cheese sandwich. I’ll take that. No cashiers so self service only. The guy next to me, in the most Scottish accent I heard all day told his machine to “fuck off.” We’ve all been there.

In Edinburgh the taxi queue was lengthy, I’m talking Walsall Town Centre by the Cenotaph on a Friday night in the 90’s lengthy. I’d tried to research walking but with my navigation skills and the Google maps streetview not looking easy to fathom, plus the show starting in 50 minutes I decided to join the queue.

The queue went quickly, I got in one and the driver was “would have been quicker to walk pal. It’s a 10 minute walk and a 15 minute drive.” He wasn’t joking. Plenty of gridlock on the roads and I’ll say this for Edinburgh, they love their traffic lights. They were all changing green to red. David Gray would have been very impressed.

The meter was going up even at red lights and it was up to a tenner while I could still hear trains pulling into the station. And then we were there. Driver was decent so I gave him a tip and departed. A short walk to the venue Gilded Saloon – Basement.

Pre show music was provided by The Rolling Stones – Toby’s favourite band. I must have missed She’s A Rainbow while I was in the taxi.

The show itself was hilarious, it was like him on the radio but more laddie. Anecdotes about his dad Chris Tarrant and a corker about an old lady on a train who hadn’t locked the toilet door. I could relate to this as I had a similar experience albeit with a bloke. On a train back to Walsall a few years back I pushed that button and the door slowly opened like it was revealing a star prize on a old skool game show. What it revealed to me was a bloke having a shit. Unlike the bloke in Tony’s anecdote, I had the decency to hit the close door button before heading back to my seat. I did allow myself a smile when the ‘toilet in use” sign lit up seconds later.

Other highlights and I won’t give spoilers if people are googling – alien anal probing, 5g butt plugs, an impression of Shaggy realising he’s left a tap running, telling how he had to put death threats that he received in Spanish into Google Translate following an on air Justin Beiber joke and a mention for Princess Anne. 

An ongoing theme throughout the show was him starting to talk about a Mexican restaurant in Soho that looks lime a sex shop – before going off on a tangent. I’m actually making my first visit to Soho tomorrow. Hmmmm. 

Guess who hadn’t turned their phone off? Yep, mine was the one that went off, twice. One being an email offering me a credit card, the other a WhatsApp asking if I wanted to go to a pub in Walsall. I declined both.

I got to meet Toby at the end and had a quick chat. He comes across as a top bloke on the radio and he certainly is. I’m currently on a mission to visit every London Monopoly property and I wanted to ask Toby if he’d sign my board on Leicester Square where the Radio X studio is, when I’m in London in October but I got scared and bottled it. He recently signed an Old El Paso box for someone so is used to bizarre requests. I wonder if that bloke started eating that after visiting a Mexican restaurant in Soho.

I also met his lovely wife Pippa who used to be on Moyles’s show and was hilarious. Especially with tales of how men would try and get her phone number and when she joined a gym an instructor wanted her to strip to her bra and pants during an induction. I had a picture with her and to be courteous I asked if I could use it in a blog. She thought I asked “can I use it on the bog?” She saw the funny side but my God why do I always make things unintentionally awkward?

Post show I couldn’t be arsed with trying to sort a taxi. So I attempted to walk. Edinburgh, whilst they like their traffic lights, they aren’t so keen on sign posts but unlike me I asked 4 people for directions and found the station just in time for an earlier train. 

Edinburgh is so vibrant, there are just people everywhere. If you don’t like people it’s possibly not for you but it’s cool and cultural. I could learn a lot from it.

En route I passed Cockburn Street. Topical as one of the last jokes of the show was about the damage from shagging a hot burrito.

Back in Glasgow I headed for Curry House as it’s simply called. Why pick a fancy name when you can go down the “it does what it says on the tin” route? I’d seen it on the bus earlier and hoped I could find it. Even I couldn’t mess this up. 

Crispy chicken wings and tempura King prawns were epic. I loved a lamp in there. I hadn’t said anything stupid all day so I clearly needed to tick that box and asked the lady if they were real fish inside.

Normally at this point I’d say she looked at me like I was talking Chinese but on this occasion that would have been fine. No I got the puzzled look I deserved and a simple but flat “no they’re not.”

Food over I tried to have a quick drink in Flight Club as it was next door to my hotel. A bar chain I believe that is for playing darts and drinking. I’m no Luke Littler. I would never have stood a chance of winning a teasmade on Bully’s Prize Board, however I do get called Michael Van Gerwen regularly. I should have worn my lime green t-shirt, pretended to be him and got everyone to buy me drinks.

That would have been in vain though as I was turned away for not having a booking. I can’t tell you anymore. We all know the first rule of Flight Club. 

No skin off my dick though and I just went back to my hotel room for a mug of tea – if only I’d won a teasmade, and a listen to The Legal Hour on LBC. You might think I’ve changed but I had been up a long time.

Superb day. I’ll finish off by saying that Pink Pony Club by Chappell Roan came on as I walked into breakfast the following morning. She’s not had a mention on this blog for about 4 editions so had to get that in.

Nick Abbott will be delighted to hear that it was raining in Glasgow as I left the hotel.

It was nice to finally take this blog out of England. Edinburgh, and Glasgow are two great cities. I’ll be back. Hopefully to hold a microphone in the former.

We visited Bewdley regularly as kids. My parents had a static caravan there and weekend stays were regular. However, as soon as I was old enough to stay at home on my own, that was it. I never went back to the caravan. Eventually my parents gave it up. After a couple of family tragedies I returned in 2013, a quarter of a century later – to reconnect with my childhood.

Mase and I had a sensational pub crawl there in 2018, we went again in 2019 with Ben and planned a 2020 visit until Covid put paid to it. And that was it. Until yesterday when I headed back.

The train was a quiet affair which I could cope with. Down the line a man and his young son got on. I’m no eavesdropper but could hear their football chat. This culminated in a quiz. I played along in my head. The kid did much better but in my defence it was all modern Premier League question. I sat and waited for the 1990s Walsall FC category but it didn’t come because they alighted at New Street. I did get a point for knowing the name if West Hams ground and awarded myself a bonus one for knowing the old one too. I should have thrown a shoe over a building. That’s the real quiz.

I had to change at Smethwick Galton Bridge. You may recall the kerfuffle I had last time I was there. If not it’s here, but this time I’d done my research, knew which platform I needed and despite only having 7 minutes to negotiate signs and stairs, I made it – even allowing myself a Tim Henman style raised clenched fist gesture as I hit the platform. I was soon hurtling towards Kidderminster.

I needed the Severn Valley Railway, a preserved steam train line between Kidderminster and Bridgnorth. 

Kidderminster Station on the SVR is picturesque. I wanted to take pictures but was worried about my phone battery. Whilst the bezzie Josh loves a flat phone battery, I don’t.

The journey was great. The train was being pulled by an LMS locomotive which my dad would have been happy with. The third class coach was better than some modern ones. We passed the Safari Park and some people on the train waved at the rhinos. I didn’t. I’m a miserable sod. I liked to think the rhinos didn’t give a shit about being waved at.

It was a very pleasant walk into Bewdley. Its bustling but tranquil if that makes sense. The River Severn just looks amazing and the town looks as it did hundreds of years ago. It’s beautiful.

First stop was Bewdley Brewery Tap. I’m sure that back in the 1980s this was The Brass Rubbing & Arts Centre. Unfortunately the B & r of Brass fell off. We begged our dad to tale a picture and send it to Esther Rantzen. He eventually did but that night we sat down for That’s Life – standard Sunday evening in our house, and someone had beaten us to it. It got a big laugh from the studio audience too which didn’t help. 

Anyway it was my first visit to this tap and it’s great. A whole wall dedicated for award certificates and another with big old maps. Lots of brewery paraphernalia dotted around, friendly barmaid and air con made this a good start to the day.

There were stools and a bench outside the toilets so if you partner likes a long toilet visit like a former friend of mine does, you have somewhere to wait if you’re on the way out.

The Little Pack Horse was next. This one has always eluded me but was open this time. I tentatively made my way down the very dark side passage and was almost nervous as I crept in with my eyes still adjusting. Barman was welcoming though and straight onto me as he’d seen me taking pictures of the brewery. Locals were friendly too, thinking I was Facebook content creator Dudley Explorer who’d been in the town a couple of days previously.

There were two dogs, one of which was called Eric which is a great dog name. More dogs should be called Eric. Andy Burnham should legislate this. Eric befriended me. He was ace.

Music was mostly Bryan Adams but we were treated to the Roy Orbison original of I Drove All Night which is as epic as it is creepy. As I finished my drink on came the Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark classic Walking On The Milky Way. I’d have sat it out but I had walking on Bewdley High Street to do so I bade my new friends, both human and canine goodbye and headed out.

When I first came back to Bewdley in 2013, I stayed over. I looked for digs and was intrigued by The Woodcolliers Arms which had rooms. The reviews were mixed, one calling the owner Basil Fawlty with all the opinions split between love and hate for him. I knew I had to stay there. We’d driven past it millions of times as kids. I knew it become a private dwelling a few years ago but I still had a look.

In 2018, Mase and I were running out of time and had to pick between Horn & Trumpet and The White Swan and picked the former purely because it had an England flag in the window. It seems to have had a makeover in the intervening years. The barmaid listed the available cobs and she had me with ham and cheese. After the outrage that I caused in Alvechurch requesting ham and cheese on the same cob (relive cobgate here) I was pleased to hear that they are readily available in other parts of Worcestershire. 

This was the busiest pub of the day so far but there was room at the bar and I perched myself there. Televisions all over the place showing a variety of sports. Had it been a couple of hours later I’d have asked if they could find a stream for the Walsall v Notts County friendly.

I hadn’t made anything awkward yet. This was to change in The White Swan. “Do you do coffee?” I asked whilst looking strait at the coffee machine behind the bar. I think she thought I was taking the piss. Both ladies were friendly and it was a much needed coffee whilst some absolute classics from the 80’s played out including the Whitney Houston song where she does a Ric Flair impression at the start.

Something about this pub that I like. It’s upmarket but feels traditional. Sorry we missed you in 18 White Swan.

Across the road is Weavers Of Bewdley. Very cool place with a music wall of vinyl single sleeves, with ELO Last Train To London blasting out. Which was nice as it reminded to check the train back to Kiddy. As much as I love Bewdley, I didn’t want an overnight stay, especially as there would be no interaction with Roger at The Woodcolliers.

Next up was The Talbot. This was my must tick of the day. Eluded me on previous visits, and not open when I’d strolled past after leaving The Little Pack Horse. Deep joy though when I saw the door open. 

Did I make a nob of myself? Of course. I was looking up ruefully at the mind your head signs, which were a good foot above me, completely missed the mind the step one, the step itself, stumbled down it and spilt drink everywhere. I sheepishly returned to the bar to ask for a mop. Fair play to the barman, he said he’d sort it. Thanks fella. Reminds me of one of my favourite jokes. Skeleton walks into a pub and says “can I have a pint of lager and a mop please?”

The pub is cool. Decked out with old tech, a typewriter which brought back memories of the hours I spent bashing away at mine in the 80’s and 90’s.

Music was good including Saturn 5 by Inspiral Carpets, which caused me huge frustration recently when the lyric “that’s a popular misconception” popped in my head and I couldn’t remember which song it was from. I had to wait for Virgin Radio to play it as I wasn’t allowed to Google it as per Frank Skinner’s rule.

I stayed for a second, not because I lost some of the first but because I loved the place. Had a chat with the barman who was cool and landlady Sandy told me about the pub. She’s had it 38 years and clearly loves the place.

Final stop was The Real Ale Tavern. Bewdley’s Black Country Ales pub. The sign outside advised air con which I’d never seen as a pubs selling point before but I bet it’s pulled in some passing trade. The reverse side advised of a cheese night every Wednesday which also enticed me. Alongside the well filled cobs there was also duck food which I’ve never seen in a pub before.

En route back to the station I made a pit stop at Riverside Pizza & Grill. Food was good and the bloke serving was descent. Nice last bit of Bewdley action. 

On the train back someone announced that the rhinos had gone. Probably didn’t want to get waved at again.

Back in Kidderminster, I went to The Old Peacock Inn, eventually despite unhelpful townsfolk. The one time I’m brave enough to ask it doesn’t work. I eventually called a taxi and let the driver do the finding. Great pub though and rounded the day off a treat. I’ll report on that one another day.

Superb day. Mase has said Bewdley 27 is on. Counting the seconds.

Early start last Saturday. Missions like Mozzas and the bank to start the day.

Absolutely none of my business I appreciate but a guy in Mozzas spent £50 on the £5 Millionaire Maker scratchcards. You should only gamble what you can afford to lose and if he can afford to lose £50 then good luck to him. Hope he got the million. Conversely I looked at the £1 scratchcards and thought ‘maybe on payday.’

The early start was so I could meet Villa Chris again. Our mutual friend and fellow Walsall FC fan Claire had helped me out last season so I offered to take her out and shout her food on one of my Walsall eaterie reviews and this developed to drinks in Birmingham along with her partner Phil and the aforementioned Chris. 

Claire and Phil were going to the Walsall FC kit launch so we agreed to meet them in Brum with Chris getting on the bus by his house and me by mine.

Chris is obsessed with the X51 bus and has been trying to get me on it wth him for decades. With the trains on limited service due to strikes, finally he could tick that box. 

It was roasting on board. Upon arrival I felt my shirt. My “72 hour” deodorant had failed within 3 hours of it going on. Chris found a shop and bought us bottled water. I just wanted to hold it on my head.

This was my 3rd successive Saturday trip to Birmingham. First was the magnificent day with Chris and James that you can catch up on here.

2nd though was less successful. I had a big jar of loose change to weigh in and because I didn’t want to pay the near 12% charge at the Coinstar machine, I had the best idea ever. It would be cheaper to get the train to Birmingham and use the version of the machine in Santander that does the sane job, without charge with the money going into your account.

Regular readers will know that when I have the best idea ever, it quickly goes to shit and this was no exception. I lugged the heavy jar there to be told they got rid of the machine “ages ago.”

So I’d spent the rest of that weekend sorting the coins out, taking all the 20p ones to Santander in Walsall on this morning with the money covering a hotel stay in August and the rest going to the Coinstar machine in Mozzas which allowed me to come out of austerity for today.

So as we past the Santander in Birmingham now, I took the trouble to flick them the v’s after last Saturdays banter from them. 

We met Claire and Phil and jumped on the Metro. Strolling along Broad Street I sneezed 3 times in quick succession, two noticeably more audible than the other which caused people to look round. My manager at work David says that if you sneeze 3 times in a row, you can make a wish.

One wish – female related popped straight into my head but having seen the film Obession I disregarded it and wished instead for a stress free England victory over Norway in the World Cup that evening.

We were making a return to The Vine. I said in the last blog that I intended to come again but did think it would take longer than a fortnight. We’d been enticed back by the World Cup menu. 

Upon entry we asked if food was on to be told by the barman “I’m on my own, I don’t usually do the food and I don’t know where things are. If I can find it, you can have it.”

We settled down but after a minute or so I moved to the left slightly. I wasn’t doing The Timewarp and to the untrained eye it may have looked like I was trying to get closer to Claire. In triuth, and I’m a strange creature of habit I was just trying to be in the exact same spot I’d been in a fortnight before. 

We perused the menus and ordered. I swear that I tried to pay for my food but Chris waved away my attempts. They actually do a crisp sandwich. Never seen this on a menu before. Had Prawn Cocktail crisps been an option, I’d have been all over it.

No Downton Abbey on the big TV this time but England Cricket instead. We were 108-4 but I know not who we were playing. I’m sure it will be on the BBC website if you need to know.

Food came quickly along with 3 of the emptiest sauce bottles I’ve ever encountered. I failed to get any joy so Chris stepped in to help. The sight of him vigorously shaking a bottle of Mayo then trying to splurt its creamy white goodness on my food was strangely relaxing.

Music was varied with classics like Panic Af Disco “I Write Sins Not Tragedies” with a dollop of randomness provided by Milli Vanilli with “Girl I’m Gonna Miss You”. I joined in with this and therefore providing more vocals than they did. I’ve always wondered if you request to do a Milli Vanilli song at karaoke, do you then have to get someone else to sing it? Just to keep it real. 

As mentioned in the last blog, I love the purple colour of the toilet doors. I concocted a plan. “Claire on the way out, could you and Phil create a distraction please? Me and Chris will then sneak the toilet doors out.” I have the perfect place for the male one. What I’ll do with the female one requires further thought.

We departed, I forgot the doors – guess I’ll have to go back, and we headed to Broad Street where I spotted two ladies walking along under an umbrella.

It wasn’t raining, although I hadn’t checked the weather forecast I had no reason to believe any downfall was imminent. They seemed happy enough though so fair play. Prepared for any sudden downfall. They do happen nowadays.

We headed into Reflex. Only my second visit, it was the final tick – number 404 of the Pub 365 Challenge (vol 1) in 2011.

Even before I’d got a drink, a lass was over dancing with me. She was only messing about, but was dressed in white and looked stunning so I enjoyed the moment.

The music was 80s and all excellent. “Kiss Me” by Stephen TinTin Duffy being the pick of them and I actually threw some shapes to that one hoping to impress the plethora of ladies in the vicinity. They weren’t. In another life I’ll have the guts to try and chat one up but not in this one. 

It was red hot in there and I stood under an air vent willing cold air out of it. Chris sneaked behind and picked me up by the armpits like we were in a ballet. He wouldn’t have manged that 10 years ago when I was the build of a wardrobe. I was just glad my shirt had dried there.

Claire and Phil had to be elsewhere for the match so we walked them back towards New Street then went hunting for more refreshments.

We tried to get in a new bar 24 Stories but were turned away as there was no room at the Inn giving us a Christmas feel even earlier than normal. It wasn’t just us as a group of ladies were also refused entry. Chris led us on following yonder star.

He took us to Newhall Street Tavern. I thought it looked familiar but unticked by myself. I’ve since discovered it used to be Edmunds Brewhouse which was always on my to do list. The barmaid asked if I wanted ice in my Coke and I said “I’d rather have some for my head” and she gave me extra in a separate glass. Top lass. It felt so good on the back of my neck.

For some reason I couldn’t get up on the high chair. I had to use the bannister behind while Chris held the table. Not my best look. I won’t be making a Wimbledon umpire anytime soon. 

Chris said he was going to the loo to wet his t-shirt and he wasn’t lying. He came back with it saturated. He’d have won contests back in the 90s looking like that. 

The barman had a shirt bearing the Rolling Stones logo with the tongue as an England flag. So cool.

A passing barmaid swiped my glass which still had 1 ice cube in which I’d been saving for one last refresh which cost them a point but it was a decent first visit.

Next up was The White Swan. A new one for both of us.Stylish place, central bar which I always like and the best toilets ever. Chris is our Crisps Correspondant and they had some even he hadn’t seen before which were decent.

The barman had been hunting for bags of ice cubes and reporting that all the supermarkets had run out. No wonder the barmaid in the last place grabbed my remaining one. Rationing kicking in again.

There is a wine room which can be hired and when I finally meet a lady we are so going there for a date*.

*This promise may not be honoured when I find out the price.

There were stairs next to this room and Chris marched up them much to my horror. “You can’t go up there” I protested but to no avail. I followed upstairs and it led to a hotel reception.

There was an umbrella hire facility which I’ve never seen before and marvelled at. We need these in Walsall. They’d make a killing just from Swill who is forever losing them. Those ladies on Broad Street must have also seen it and wanted in hence them holding one gleefully.

I paused by the door as we left to allow 4 women in and two of them thanked me. Duly added doorman to my CV.

As we were close to Needless Alley, the best street name ever I had to pay a visit but I was forbidden to walk down it for my own good. I resisted the urge to give it a Mark and Lard style “no need.”

The Windsor on Cannon Street is being transformed into an O’Neils. Chris had wanted to show me on the morning but I turned it down citing “I don’t need to see ot.” Fake news. Truth however was that seeing that would have deviated me away from the Santander that I wanted to flick the v’s at. Someone at O’Neils didn’t proof read the sign before it went up though. It says New Street rather than Cannon Street. This person, like a cannon should be fired.

The trains appeard to be running again so we headed to New Street. Chris said “I bet there will be some of your lot (Walsall fans) at the station.” We’d had our first pre season friendly away at Lemington and he was right. We struck up conversation on the train and they sit in the next block to me at Bescot. I asked the lady to give me a wave at the next home game and advised it’s usually about 3.10 when I walk in.

Back in Walsall Chris announced that he was having one more drink then heading home for the match so after a short while in Wetherspoons we said our goodbyes.

The 51 bus by the Town Hall gave “come to me” eyes, or should that be headlights and I deduced that having already tapped onto a bus a couple of times, this tap would be free under the daysaver scheme and despite living just 30 minutes walk away, I gave into those alluring headlights.

I got home, it was meant to be just a freshen up mission but auto pilot kicked in. The kettle and radio went straight on which is standard procedure for when I walk in. This was followed by the air fryer and slippers going on. I’d had no notifications that anyone was heading out for the game so after The Legal Hour on LBC I stuck the television on.

The Sneeze Gods that I prayed to on Broad Street partially listened hey. I just wish I’d had a hat trick of sneezes on Wednesday. 

Cracking day. Cheers Claire, Phil and Chris.