Living For The Weekend.

It had been a busy, stressful week with no time to myself but come Friday evening I had no plans, and although this blog was on hiatus until after the pantomime I thought I’d pop out on a little solo pub crawl and see if I could gather any material. I love a pub crawl on my own but try not to do it often but this one didn’t disappoint. I also needed to test the camera on my new phone so apologies in advance for all the pictures on this edition.

First up was The Lyndon Hotel. This has recently changed hands after being owned by the Towe family for 26 years. Disappointingly I didn’t manage to get in during the last week of the old ownership and this was my first chance to get in since the take over.

The Lyndon featuring some of the road works which have taken over the town recently.

Whilst waiting to be served a lady approached the bar putting a scarf around her neck. “I’m going to go” she announced to a man at the bar. He turned and handed her a large glass of wine. She accepted it without comment and sat back down at the table. Someone else so easily swayed by booze. What a lady.

Numerous real ales were still on, which was the main thing. A choice of two Enville ales were available so I went for Enville White as white is my favourite colour so it had to be done. The pub was very busy but I found a gap to sit down and relax a bit. A barmaid came round doing a collection for someone who was celebrating her birthday but also leaving her job at the pub. She went to the table next to me, ignored me, went to neighbouring table on the other side, then ignored the next one. Odd way to do things but I pledged to put the £2 I would have chucked in, into my end of night Baileys fund.

Next up was Black Country Arms. I went for Mallinsons Columbus. I’ve been to the Mallinsons brewery in Huddersfield so it was nice to have their beer even though it was on handpull number 13. Double bad whammy for me with it being an odd and unlucky number. I also opted for a pork and stuffing cob as I’d not really had tea. I’d just rustled up 2 crumpets, Salt Bae I most certainly am not. After ascending the stairs carefully so as not to spill beer and making notes from the previous pub with the cob winking at me my mouth was watering like I’d had 5 packs of Opal Fruits. The cob was ace and was quickly devoured.

David Bailey I’m not either.
Friday night dinner. Ace cob and beer in a proper glass.
The BCA toilet floor. I like to imagine that the baddy out of Terminator 2 is going to emerge out of it.

From there I went to The Victoria (Katz) where the amazing SeaCider Raspberry Ripple was on, so I grabbed a pint of that and dashed upstairs to have a blast on the free retro gaming machine. I had a fantastic half hour playing Metal Slug, a ridiculously good mid 90’s shoot em up where you are up against it all the time but can also take out enemies who are sunbathing, roasting chickens over a fire or just having a natter. I completed the game using just 28 continues.

Katz with traffic cone marking the start of the newest set of road works which started this week.

From there it was off to the Walsall Arms. The disco was in full flow and it was ace. During the playing of the amazing Billy Ocean song “Red Light Spells Danger” a lass beckoned me up to dance. My God, this never happens so I was up and throwing some shapes within seconds. I don’t have much history of dancing with the ladies as I am always too scared to ask due to my confidence levels fluctuating between “absolute zero” and the lofty heights of “negligible”. The last time I asked a lady she went immediately straight on full Eddy Grant mode “I Don’t Wanna Dance”. Anyway once up there was no stopping me and I carried on dancing, even staying for an additional pint than I had planned. I forgot the Baileys though. Oh well, the £2 can go into Saturday’s steak pie fund.

Wrap your Walsall Arms all around me.

Breakfast on Saturday came courtesy of St Matthews Hall, our town’s Wetherspoons. It was a bit Challenge Anneka to make the 11.30 cut off due to a much needed long lie in, general lethergy, a late mossive mug of tea, no show buses, diversions, one way systems and our old friend temporary traffic lights. I made it with 10 minutes to spare but felt really bad for the lad who arrived at 11.33 and was turned away for breakfast. He seemed generally gutted.

Two latte’s, breakfast, a wander around town and a Strawberry Slush Puppy later I headed to Katz again. My mate Pezza arrived and he gave me a lift to the match. I missed the first Walsall goal as I was still in the Bescot Bar but I was in the stand for our injury time winner and a beautiful moment it was too. Then it was back in the Bescot Bar for drinks with my niece Amber and a photo opportunity with legendary ex Walsall FC keeper Jimmy Walker.

Me and Super Jim.

From there we headed to Katz, then onto The Registry for the England match with lots of mates and then we ended up at Katz again. 3 visits in one day? My kind of hat-trick. I’m hoping for a signed ball off Jase and all the bar staff next time I go in.

So yeah, it’s been good. Amazing what good friends, booze and a late Walsall FC win can do to perk you up.

It’s Damn Worth Going To Tamworth.

Yesterday was a fuzzy start to the day. All my own fault having had far more drinks than I planned too on Friday night. It was with some reluctance that I got out of bed but it had to be done. While loads of my mates were off to Newport to watch the Walsall FC match, I was heading to Tamworth for beer festival and pub goodness along with a catch up with great mates Sean and Madels, with their respective partners Sammy and Pam.

First stop was the the Corner Cafe in Caldmore to line the stomach then it was into town for the train. I’m happy to report that this trip saw me take yet more steps into this century as I was travelling with my tickets on my phone courtesy of a QR code for the first time. How much better is this? No more pulling out your wallet and fumbling around for tickets. All you have to do now is pull out phone, unlock phone, find Outlook app, scroll through a weeks emails and download your ticket. So much more efficient. During the downtime at Birmingham New Street I took screen grabs of both tickets just to speed things up a tad.

Anyway the train was bustling, train beers were about with a group of young ladies already on the shots and a lad opposite getting stuck into bottles of Stella. I however had a bottle of Barr’s Limeade. It has been said that I need to up my train beer game and I think this proved it.

Soon I was in Tamworth and straight to the festival. The beers were good and the discussions ace as per usual, the highlight being the need to set up a festival in Walsall called “Death By Mead”. I think we could sell that out both in terms of tickets and Mead.

The beer festival bible.

Whilst the beers were good, the ciders were another level even Dane Bowers would have approved. I had toffee apple, raspberry ripple, black forest and another whose name escapes me, but they are so drinkable and can go down so quick so I thought it was best to slow down and go back on the ales.

Yes my glass is empty. I think it’s been photo shopped.

Despite the full English on the morning I soon had the munchies. Last time I did Tamworth Beer Festival the food was epic but this time it was things like pies, sausage rolls and bizarrely half Scotch Eggs. Seriously who buys half a Scotch egg? So I ran away. Fortunately there was a CO-OP round the corner so I headed there. I wanted to partake in the meal deal but I really couldn’t be arsed to work which things qualified as a side. So I had a cheese and ham sandwich with two scratch cards, the latter sadly not being part of the meal deal.

On my penultimate toilet trip I noticed three people huddled around a screen watching eagerly. I assumed it was showing Soccer Saturday but no. It was advertising upcoming shows. I should have hacked it and get my am dram group AMCS’s October panto of Cinderella on there, in which I’m playing Baron Hardup. Tickets still available. https://boxoffice.wlct.org/event_description.aspx?eventid=1051&fbclid=IwAR2v7X6iozYDQXPJ6RvF0nFEmstnGx5SDtHkyjGQDoYD45nFnv2Z1dZIbp0

With the clock ticking towards train time and my need to visit pubs in search of material I left the festival and arranged to meet up with the others when they had used up their beer tokens. After nearly being taken out by an opening car door I found Bond’s Bar. On our last trip to Tamworth @blackpooljane spotted this place as we walked past. It hadn’t turned up on any of my pub planning sites so we ventured in out of curiosity and it ended up being in the top 10 of the 407 pubs that I visited on Pub 365 Challenge volume 3.

The pub was cool as it was last time, it has a telephone box in side, the long lamented Brewery Stores in Walsall being the only other example of this that I know of. The barmaid was class. I ordered Coors and her fellow barman made a crap joke along the lines of “of Coors you can. She admitted to not getting the joke to start with and concluding with “I’m such a twat”. A line I often use about myself. I think we could get on.

999? This is an emergency. I’m out of beer.

From there I headed to The White Lion. On mine and Jane’s first trip to Tamworth I spotted this pub from across the road. The big Sky Sports banners put me off slightly but the 4 boarded up windows really enticed me. Jane was reluctant but she appreciates that I like a rough looking pub so we went in. And it was class. The following year the windows were repaired and they had Skittles Vodka which really won Jane over. None of said vodka was available on this visit but I liked some of the events. They do “Skint Mondays” where certain drinks are £1.50 and for the karaoke on Wednesdays it’s a free shot for every singer. I meant to clarify if it’s just one shot per person or one for each song sang. If it’s the latter I’m booking a couple of days off and going there to recreate the Live Aid concert. If it’s the former they might just get the 36 second Jonny Trunk & Wisbey song The Ladies’ Bras (the shortest song to make the UK top 40) out of me. With permission from my agent of course. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9d5AbYuXIs

Upon leaving The White Lion I met up with the others and we headed to The Coven. This is another cool place with a double bass in the corner and assembled jigsaw puzzles laminated onto the tables. Our table had a super heroes jigsaw on it. I was invited to name some of them but being one of life’s miserable sods I declined. Now if it had been a Prisoner Cell Block H puzzle I’d have been all over it.

I’m all about that double bass, no treble.

There was time for one more pub so we headed to The Kings Ditch. A class pub which will soon have to expand into a neighbouring building as they are now short of room for any more CAMRA PUB Of The Year certificates.

I popped to the chip shop for a snack and after being shocked and querying the price of £4.60 for sausage and chips (I’m from a poor area where it’s £2 max) I took my food and headed for the railway station. Whilst on the platform a very fast moving train came along and deposited some of it’s load as it passed. I don’t recall ordering a full facial sand blasting but hey it took years off me. I’m just glad I covered up my food as it approached.

I was soon back at New Street where a big group of Walsall fans were waiting for the train. Mates of mine including Dan Gilbert, Coxy, Kimob, Zece, and Lee Stanley were amongst them. I accidentally headbutted Coxy whilst giving him a hug and his night wasn’t going to get any better as when we arrived at Bescot Stadium Station after a quick selfie Coxy announced his departure. Dan started singing the James Blunt classic “Goodbye My Lover” which I certainly don’t need any invitation to start singing so I joined in and before long we were all joining in. Coxy however was having trouble getting the doors to open and it all felt a bit Crystal Maze. His time ran out and he was locked in. To be fair we didn’t laugh much.

I also need to up my train selfie game.

From there a couple of us hit the Tap And Tanner including Coxy who should have been at home by now but made the most of the situation with more booze. As you do. I had just a quick one in there along with Scampi Fries and then walked home via The Black Country Arms for an Ice Cream Cider.

If you want a nice snack and smelly fingers to boot, this is your man.

What a magnificent day.

A Piri Good Weekend.

On Friday evening I took my lifelong best friend Swill out for food for his recent birthday and we headed to Piri Fino, Walsall’s best chicken establishment. We were told upon arrival the grave news that they had no mash. Shocking stuff but not that troublesome as Tesco is round the corner and I can whip up a portion of Smash like a diva but it was chicken we wanted so we proceeded and were shown to a table right in the middle of the place between the food station and all the other tables. I like a prime spot so all good. The place was doing a roaring trade for early evening but our food arrived quickly and was as excellent as ever.

Me with Piri Fino in the background. Love the reflections in the water. Makes it look like the old Thames TV logo.

From there we went to the Brewers Fayre. This is a place I only ever visit to play the quiz machine with Craig or to pig out at the all you can eat buffet, which I used to do very regularly. No wonder I ended up the size of a double wardrobe with Narnia thrown in for good measure.

Swill had announced earlier in the week that he wanted a mention in this blog and had been wondering how to obtain it. He opted for a bike ride as these are now available to hire in the town centre and he suggested we did this for the trip to the next pub. I like this. People coming up with ideas for material or trying to earn mentions. This I am certainly encouraging.

Anyway we got our bikes, I initially struggled to get my leg over – story of my life eh? We set off and it was great fun. Absolutely superb. My bike had a flat tyre which didn’t help and it was a tough slog going up Freer Street but I soldiered on on the off chance that Victoria Pendleton might be watching. She probably wasn’t.

Bring on the Commonwealth Games.

The bike people had conveniently put a docking station opposite the Black Country Arms so we parked up and ventured in there very much needing a pint. Kim the landlady had played a blinder and the amazing ice cream cider was on. I drank it in minutes. I might not have set a pb for the bike ride but the pint drinking time was surely worthy of a gold medal.

This is amazing.

We ended the night in Flan O’Briens. The highlight here being the very loud rendition of Sweet Caroline. A guy at the bar turned round very slowly as we did the “so good so good so good” part with arms aloft. As he finally looked at us arms were down and we’d gone full deadpan expressions. He looked confused and turned back to his pint – quicker than he’d turned to look at us I might add..

Swill had to be up early on the Saturday so he headed off and I went to the Walsall Arms. The DJ Gaz was on and he is just the best entertainment around so I knew it was going to be a good visit. And it was.

Saturday was very lazy start to the day. I popped to a new cafe in town then caught the chuff chuff to Bescot Stadium accompanied by a large group of Mansfield Town fans who were in good voice. I had announced on Twitter to @dazfellows that I wasn’t drinking before the match for once. But I was at the ground 20 minutes before kick off and the door to the bar is right there when you walk through the turnstiles. It’s almost like they want you to go in. So I did. It was very busy in there including a group of 15 lads on a stag do that were all dressed as cricketers. Not a sight you see at Bescot very often.

Hands, touching hands, reaching out
touching me, not touching windows.

The match was ace. We played very well but at full time it was another trip to the train station as I was going with 2 fellow Walsall FC fans for drinks in Birmingham. Unfortunately they missed the train by seconds, but I was joined by my long time friend Paul Mitchell and his entourage so I joined them for a pint in Brum whilst waiting for Gaz and Daz to arrive. Upon arrival it was all kicking off outside The Shakespeare with police in full force.

It was just me, Paul and Simon that went to The Colmore which is a Thornbridge pub, a brewery which I absolutely adore. The building is magnificent. I had a pint of Crackendale which is 5.2% pale ale and it was superb. Then it was toilet time. I didn’t know where it was but I saw a stairwell and this lad approached and we asked each other at the same “where is the toilet?” He suggested we go down the stairs and we were rewarded. He did a celebratory point at the toilet sign dance whilst I did the arms out front and bowing up and down gesture at the sign. Oooo toilet finding friend and all that.

From there I left and went to meet Daz and Gaz in The Trocadero. But I got a bit lost. It wasn’t where I thought it was and to be fair as I walked past the street I should have turned up I was distracted by someone being arrested and the ranting of an onlooker.

Anyway after a quick phone call I found the place and 4 of the cricket lads where in. Turns out this stag do was postponed 2 years ago so this time they decided to pick a random match, and enticed by the cheap tickets they headed to Bescot. They had a great time and said they might come again. I opted not to warn them that it’s not always this good.

Top lads.

From there we headed to The Windsor, a pub I don’t think I’ve ever been in. After ascending the stairs at Bescot Stadium railway station twice in one day I was glad to find a table and chair in this place. After this I wanted to visit the Shakespeare to see what state it was in after the earlier trouble. It was fine. You wouldn’t have know anything had gone on. Beer was in plastic glasses which is just about okay with lager but not for a pint of Wainwrights. Although with the earlier aggro it was a good call to use them.

Booooo.

I bid Daz and Gaz goodnight and ran for the 8.10 train. Which was cancelled. So I ran for the 8.15 McDonalds and I made it back to New Street for the next train. McDonalds Monopoly update, I still haven’t won the hot tub which is a shame as it would look ace in my now clear back garden. I’ll keep trying. Garcon more chicken selects.

Double boooo.

From there it was a beer in town with Dave then I headed up to the Walsall Arms where I met fellow Saddlers Goughy and Andy. Baileys made an appearance then I ventured home to fall asleep on the settee.

The absolute top lad that is Goughy.

International Duty In Walsall And A Bit Of A Haze In Willenhall.

On Thursday both Craig and myself were off work. This could only mean one thing. An early start on the beer. With the England football team playing on the night it meant that we were on international duty and thus early drinking is allowed. There is probably only so many times that I can write about Walsall Town Centre pubs but I headed to town with material hopefulness. This is something in my head, not a new single by Manic Street Preachers.

First mission was a visit to McDonald’s to line the stomach. I’ve really tried to cut down on the visits to this place but it’s McDonald’s Monopoly time now and that just sends me crazy. I’m doing really well so far. Just Park Lane and Mayfair away from winning the top prize. I’m only missing The Strand to win a hot tub. Imagine how hot that tub would be once I’m in it.

Then it was off to Rock Steady Eddie’s. I was no where near finishing my McDonald’s so Craig went in through the front door to distract the staff by ordering beers, and I snook round the back to the outdoor benches with my contraband still full Sprite Zero and 1/4 pounder. Someone on the opposite bench commented “you look like you’ve had a busy day”. Not sure why demolishing a McDonald’s gives off this impression but if a day can be spent busily doing this, then I’m all in.

We ventured inside. No sign of the jukebox enemy and someone had taken advantage of this by loading the machine with Linkin Park songs, which was good of them. The quiz machine was in a bad mood so we sat down. I ventured for my second toilet visit (I have a weak bladder so when I’m out on the piss I literally am out on the piss). I returned and I still had about a 5th of my pint left which I finished quickly but we were able to see the England Cricket Team take the last 3 Indian wickets in that time.

Next up was The Oak Inn and the controversial point of the day. The Pointless final on the quiz machine. The question was teams in the English Football League system. Craig opted for Canvey Island. “They’re not in The Football League. Don’t pick that”. Craig over ruled me and he was right. £4.00 jackpot won. Craig was happy. I wanted to chuck the machine in the nearby canal to give the shopping trolleys some company.

Then it was The Brewers Fayre where not much occurred and then it was onto The Old Bailey. One of my favourite places in town but certainly not everyone’s cup of tea. I approached the bar and the three people sat at it looked at me like I’d got two heads. Okay guys, calm down. It’s just one mossive head, not two. Beers were ordered and we sat down. It was certainly a bit more sedate than my last visit where after a long day of Walsall FC related drinking myself and Dan Gilbert were up on the seats dancing around vigorously to Baltimora’s “Tarzan Boy”.

The plan was to watch the first half of the England match in The Pitch which reopened last weekend having been closed during the Euro’s but the shutters were down so we headed to Katz. We were entertained by the punditry of the guy behind us who spent the whole game making Hungary sound as good as Brazil.

We headed to Blue Gingers for some much needed goodness and after this excellent meal we called it a night.

On Friday as the clocks struck 18 I left my house and headed to Willenhall to meet former work mate and top lad Liam. First up was The County. This is probably my most visited Willenhall pub as it is my piss/pint/piss pit stop of choice when returning from Wolverhampton on the 529. Liam arrived and we moved across the road to The Crown.

Me and Liam in The Crown. I think I was in a very rare short mood.

There was a friendly face behind the bar in Laura, a fellow Walsall FC fan. We grabbed drinks and settled down. This pub was to be the musical highlight of the night with songs that I absolutely adore like Stand By Me, Build Me Up Buttercup and Twist And Shout all playing. We stayed for another and I had my first ever pint of Thatchers Haze. Until recently I had no knowledge of this particular product of the Thatchers range, but then my mate Josh mentioned it in a message and my Facebook feed has been full of adverts for it ever since. So I dived in and it was really good.

Thatchers Haze. It certainly does what it says on the tin.

With Liam working yesterday and needing to head off early we moved onto The Royal George. Bit of history as this is the first pub that I ever fell asleep in. Not through booze, a secondary school friend lived here and I stayed over a few times back in the 80’s. Nice cool pint here, sat outside in the impressive seating area with Euro 2020 bunting flags still in position flapping around merrily. And there is a Dyson Airblade in the toilet so it’s win win here.

The Malthouse which is Willenhall’s Wetherspoons was our next port of call. Another fellow Walsall fan was behind the bar in the form of Adam Ellison who I’ve not seen in a long time. He’s one of life’s top blokes so it was good to chat with him while the pleasant barmaid poured our very reasonable £4.74 for two Strongbow Dark Fruits round.

Before we knew it, it was time for my 529 back to town so one last toilet visit was due. Now I have this thing where when a song pops in my head I sing it out loud. I’d had the Scarlet classic “Independent Love Song” in my head all week and it decided to re-emerge just as I pushed through the door, I forgot where I was heading and sang out load “I’ll show you how to take me”. Yeah not the best thing to sing in an environment where men are standing there with their willies out. Nothing was said though although I did get one odd look.

We scurried across the road with a couple of minutes to spare for the 21.08 bus. After a while I checked my phone and it was now 21.15. “Well this bus isn’t coming” I declared. “Pint?” I concluded. “When’s the next bus?” asks Liam. “21.28” I reply. “Can you drink a pint in 12 minutes?” he replies. “Yes” and with no time to waste it was back into The Royal George thankfully getting served straight away. The next bus was on time and I was ready although I did feel sorry for the lad who had been sitting waiting even longer than us who hadn’t had the idea to grab a beer. I bade Liam good night and climbed aboard.

I was soon back in Walsall, well I say soon there was a bit of a diversion due to the fannying around going on at Junction 10 of the M6 but before long I was in The Tap And Tanner. Then the odd incident of the night occurred. A couple that I don’t know decided to join me at my table despite there being a good few vacant ones nearby. I said “hello” but this was ignored and they plonked themselves and their drinks down. Then another couple joined the table. So I left them to it and went to one of the vacant ones.

My drink, and the ones along with a hand and phone of the new arrivals.

From there I went to The Pitch. I was told it was having a major refurbishment whilst closed but they’ve just decorated it, sexed up the back of the bar area and got rid of the quizzer and replaced it with a fruit machine. This is no good to me. I stopped playing these things years ago when on a noughts & crosses machine I skilfully used my nudges to line up 3 noughts on the win line. I stood back and waited for my winnings to register. Some guy walking by clocked what was happening and laughingly informed me that you don’t get anything for 3 noughts. What is the point of having things on the reels if you can’t win with them? So I went all Major Misunderstanding from Viz and did a “they’ll not be getting a penny out of me” and they barely have since.

Last up it was the Walsall Arms for a quick pint and even quicker bit of dancing then it was time for home and bed as I was knackered. I can’t hack this drinking malarky like I used to.

Giving Rugby Another Try.

Walsall FC played Hartlepool away yesterday. A lot of my friends made a weekend in Newcastle Upon Tyne out of it, which normally I’d be all over but I didn’t get round to organising it so yesterday while they were all waking up hungover on Tyneside, I did the same, but not hungover and in my own bedroom. But after an extremely busy 3 weeks where I’d barely had time to fart I’d got this Saturday to do as I pleased.

The main extremely loose plan for the day was to try a new eaterie in the town centre that does pork shoulder and chips for under a fiver, then maybe a couple of pints. Then I saw a tweet from Walsall Rugby Club @WalsallRFC advising of a home friendly versus Spartans at 3pm. I thought ‘something different. I’ll have me a bit of that’. So off I went.

Now I’ve only been to watch Walsall Rugby Club twice previously and the last time must have been about 15 years ago but I have visited the site 4 times recently. In November 2019 me and my mates went to a quiz that ended somewhat controversially. We came second by a point but in the last round had an answer marked wrong. The question was which country beginning with the letter C comes first alphabetically. We put Cambodia but were marked wrong as apparently it’s called Kingdom Of Cambodia. The winning team put the “correct” answer of Cameroon. We should have gone outside and thrown shoes over the clubhouse like that scene in The Office, although would we have got more points for throwing them over the horizontal bar of the H goalposts?

After that I went twice when they appealed for volunteers to paint the perimeter fence and clubhouse even though I have the painting skills of a 5 year old at their first art class. In fact a bit of the grey paint that I spilt on the club house step is still visible. If you know it’s there and actively seek it out like I did yesterday.

Someone has done a cracking job of painting that door.

My most recent visit was in May when friend of the blog Ralph Graw treated me to food and drink at the very popular Steaks By Heather night which happens on a Thursday evening (and on Wednesdays at Katz), this was a very successful and enjoyable visit.

So I ventured into the club and was warmly welcomed by Kenny formerly of The Wheatsheaf who now runs the club. Then it was beer time. I stopped to admire the framed rugby shirts all around the club and a gentleman struck up conversion. “You look anxious. Are you after someone?”. “No, I’m just after beer”. “Well stand up the bar and you’ll get served”. So I tried that and it worked, and I was served a very pleasant HPA by a nice barmaid although she did try to give my change to someone else but the beer was so good this was quickly forgiven.

I love this.

I went to get food and opted for a cheeseburger, I then panicked and ordered chips as well and it was cooked fresh and delivered to my table a few minutes later. And it was really good.

Cheeseburger, chips and HPA. Talk about winning at life.

Then it was kick off time but I still had beer left so I missed it and as I did on the club house sound system came the Milli Vanilli classic “Girl I’m Gonna Miss You”. ‘Yep’ I thought, ‘your gonna miss that girl. I’ve missed kick off and will also do the same with trys, drop goals and conversions very soon’.

I soon discovered that you can take beer outside here so I got another HPA and ventured outside just in time to see Spartans take the lead with a penalty. Now I don’t really understand the rules of rugby and John Inverdale I most certainly am not but I’ll try and give you a brief match report. The first action came when the ball landed right by me and bounced away behind. Thankfully someone else ran for it and as he booted the ball back into play, one of his flip flops flew off and went further than I probably would have kicked the ball. Perhaps he was also trying to win a quiz.

My commentary begins just after I’d gone for my half time pint. I thought rugby matches were 40 minutes a half so I went for my beer at 3.35 but by 3.45 nobody had come in so I went to see why and I timed it nicely. From my angle all I could see was lots of men pushing and shoving down the other end but a cheer went up and Walsall had a try. 5 nice points. The conversion was missed and at 4.53 the ref finally blew for half time with Walsall 5-3 up. I went back in the club house to escape the incessant drizzle. I hadn’t thought to put a coat on, snd the covered stand was somewhat busy.

When I reappeared for the second half Spartans had gone 11-5 up but towards the end a Walsall player hoofed the ball forward, ran onto his own kick and darted over the goal line right on the opposite side of the pitch, but then got to do the cool thing of running along and plonking the ball down between the goal posts. I always like that. The conversion was completed and Walsall were 12-11 up and the ref blew for full time straight away.

Whilst waiting for the players to leave the pitch, Martin who had been in charge of the volounteer days spotted me and came over. I was pleased he remembered me as it’s been over a year. He was really pleased to see me at a game and offered me a beer which I duly accepted which he then went and fetched. A really nice touch.

I stayed for a pint of Boltmaker which was excellent then it was taxi to Katz time. The man on the phone said 10 minutes but I went out a bit early just as an ice cream van was pulling up. The driver greeted me like a long lost friend. Turns out someone had asked him to stop by the club and he thought that was me. I assured him it wasn’t but as I had time while waiting for my taxi I’d have a 99. “That taxi there has just turned up. Sure that’s not yours?” he said “No, it can’t be mine”. Of course it was mine so I sat in the back of a taxi with a 99 ice cream. Odd but enjoyable.

Walsall Football Club have Matthew Taylor. Walsall Rugby Club have Timothy Taylor.

My Green Duck beer of choice had just gone back on in Katz so that was more good timing on my behalf and I had a nightcap in The Walsall Arms to break up the arduous 25 minute walk home.

What a cracking day. I’m going down to Delves Road for some more rugby soon.

My God, He’s Been To Pubs Outside Of Walsall.

I was off work on Friday so I went to have a little booze in Birmingham with a former colleague and good friend who I’ve not had a drink with since last August. I alighted at New Street and the first mission was to grab essentials in the form of energy drink, scratchcard and peppermint Aero. These may not sound like essentials but I needed a boost as I still wasn’t feeling very lively after Craig had forced me to drink copius ammounts of Baileys in the Walsall Arms the previous evening. I also need to win some money and I’d been craving an Aero since they came up in conversation in the pub earlier in the week.

With these items sourced it was off to meet Madels (Mad Les as he is affectionately known). We were meeting up in The Wellington but I bumped into him outside The Briar Rose so we dived in there. They had Backyard Blonde on and my rule is if you ever see Walsall beer on sale outside of the great place it has to be ordered so we had one each and it was in excellent form.

We moved onto The Wellington and were greeted in the doorway by one of the pub cats. After initiating a quick fuss we moved inside and for a pint of Phoenix Brewery “Midsummer Madness” I’d never heard of this brewery or beer but as I was drinking with the maddest person I know it seemed quite apt. We moved to the upper level outside terrace and had a pleasant hour, disrupted only by a psychotic wasp who made a beeline sorry, waspline straight to me forcing me into an unplanned out break of my I don’t like wasps dance. Once it had gone I glanced round and I was getting some strange looks from the other customers. No change there though.

I like a sign giving permission.
I appreciate that you want a pint, but I’m not sitting here for the fun of it. Fuss me.
Someone has started the civil disobedience in The Wellington

From there we moved onto The Canal House where it was a gasp inducing £11.50 for two Budvars. Once I’d recovered from that it was sitting outside surrounded by lots of nice looking ladies in the glorious Friday afternoon sunshine. This place had also got a built in photo booth which I’ve not seen in a pub before, only portable ones. If I’d have been recreating adverts still, I’d have grabbed a cigar and gone for the classic 80’s Hamlet one.

Photobooth in a pub. Ideal if you need a pint on your way to get a passport.

We had a Oakham JHB in The Figure Of 8 and then moved on towards The Bulls Head which was the main reason for the visit. We passed Coyote Ugly which was blasting out Oasis. A decent visit to the Bulls Head followed, although that research is going into another blog so I won’t mention it now. We approached Coyote Ugly again and it was still blasting out the hits of Oasis. So Madels suggested we go in. I like Oasis, but I was very much in the Blur camp back in the day, although I welcomed the time that the window opened and you were allowed to like both.

The bar in Coyote Ugly is very long and has no hand pulls on it as the beers are dispensed from the back wall. They must do dancing on the bar like in the film and I clocked a sign warning people not to touch the dancers. I was tempted to put the Cathy Dennis classic “Touch Me All Night Long” on the jukebox just to see how things stood legally while that was on but I opted not to. Good job really as we got talking to two lads outside who had put £20 in the jukebox and had picked just Oasis songs. My number 2 hit of their’s “Stand By Me” came on and it was all very pleasant. My fave song “Acquiesce” didn’t make an appearance though. I should have told them to get another £20 out. I’m playing it now though as I type this so it’s all good.

Stand By Me. Madels (on the left) with the Oasis fans.
I’m fully booked for the next hour. Go and have some Cigarettes & Alcohol and come back to me yeah?

From there we ventured to The Soloman Cutler and finished up in The Post Office Vaults. The last pint/piss pub of the night in Birmingham is an important title and was held by The Yard Of Ale until that place’s sad closure. The Shakespeare then took on this vital role until being usurped by The Post Office Vaults. We both had heard it hadn’t reopened after lockdown but as we approached the door was open. Deep joy. I had a Green Duck ZPA (Zesty Pale Ale) which was first class. And then it was train time, and the POV is excellently located by New Street.

Absolutely superb day. And I won £2 on the scratchcard.

Big Fun In Bloxwich. Massive Fun In Walsall.

So a week yesterday was the last Saturday before the football season. The final Saturday for 9 months waking up without Walsall FC on my mind. The last chance to do things before boozy pre matches, or catching up on sleep before following games on Twitter. So how did I spend this Saturday? Tour of a National Trust property? A game of tennis followed by a relaxing sauna? Afternoon tea in a nice restaurant or spending the day in bed with a bevvy of beauties? None of the above, surprisingly so I went on the booze. Not surprisingly.


First mission was to visit The Corner Cafe in Caldmore to line the stomach and also to pretend that I’m in the Jorja Smith video for Blue Lights as this establishment is featured in it along with other places by my house. I am available to appear in music videos if anyone is interested. I’m very cheap.


Then it was onto The Wheatsheaf in Bloxwich to book in a Friends Of Highgate Brewery social. I could have made a call to do this but I don’t like talking on the phone despite spending much of my 40 hour working week doing this. Ooops. Hope none of my colleagues clock this. So I jumped on the bus from town, unbeknown to me that a diversion was in place. And what a tour it was. At some point I genuinely had no idea where I was and a bit further on I expected to see a sign advising that Cirencester was about a mile away. I became concerned that the bus was going to rejoin it’s route well past my stop, but it eventually came out by The Railway pub near Leamore. Just up the road from where it turned off. Five minutes later and I was alighting in the right spot.


I walked in the pub and they had some 80’s music channel on and Adam Ant was blasting out. Decent. I asked for a pint and the landlord and got the former. Landlord was due back in an hour. I settled down in the back part of the pub by myself which was a relief as Blame It On The Boogie by Big Fun came on. A song that I just have to give portions to (and some arm moving actions). It was followed by The Cure with The Lovecats, an epic song with a video featuring people in cat outfits playing trumpets. Well you have to stop and watch that don’t you?

All pubs should play Big Fun. The world would be a happier place.


When that song finished it was bus back towards Walsall time, even though I hadn’t booked the meeting which was the whole point of the visit. Thankfully the diversion wasn’t in action southbound and I was soon at AJ’s Ales. This wonderful family run micro brewery was opening for drinking for the first time since before the lockdowns. The beer was bang on, the ham cobs divine at a quid a go (I had two to make sure) and I had good discussions with people I hadn’t seen in a long time. And some I hadn’t seen for a week.

AJ’s Ales. What a place.


Whilst sitting there one of my best friends Woza turned up. This guy is legend and gets me out of self induced crisis after self induced crisis although thankfully these have become less frequent over recent years.


From there we popped to Rock Steady Eddies, passing a sign outside a random shop saying water bar featuring bottles of beer which nearly enticed me in. Eddies was rammed. Probably the busiest I have ever seen it. Practically every one in wedding attire. I checked the clock. 14.20. I thought it was decent of the happy couple to have the wedding early so everyone could start supping. Five minutes later there was a mass exodus. It was actually wedding pre drinks. There were just three other people left apart from us. Neither of them were my jukebox enemy though so Woza found a quid and treated us all to Either Way by The Twang for starters. I’d like to think that the bride was walking down the aisle as we listened to that great song.

I pay £50 a month to South Staffs Water but don’t get this kind of stuff out my pipes.


From there we popped to The Pretty Bricks, the birthplace of Walsall CAMRA in 1972 and we then went our separate ways. I went to renew my bus pass which I couldn’t remember doing by the following morning. Alcohol induced memory loss? Blame It on The Boogie? Blame It On The Breweries more like. I then went home via a two star hygiene rated takeaway, noticed that my local bus stop had vanished, grabbed a power nap, changed my t-shirt and ventured back out.

Woza and me in The Bricks
Bus stop theft. It was here yesterday guv.


I had been invited out on the night by mates Sean Harris and Matt Whelan and they happened to be in Katz, my favourite pub. I am a disciple to Green Duck brewery so it was good to see that the beer board was over run with it. Some of our other friends were also out so we had a great time listening to music, talking football and other general stuff. After a couple of Green Ducks I tried a Seacider passion fruit. This stuff is so drinkable. It can go down in seconds. As I approached the bar Avril Lavigne was playing. I forget the tune but the pint finished just after the song. I felt a bit sheepish heading straight back up the bar with my empty glass and I’m sure the barmaid was still serving the person who had been behind me. I played it safer this time. To quote the mighty fine band Embrace “come back to what you know” and I switched to Wainwrights which is like nectar in Katz.

Decent line up in Katz that.


From there we headed to Flans and had great chats in the very intimate outside smoking area. I remember dancing around to Blurred Lines and putting my style on it. I’d need heavy choreographing to attempt twerking.

Yeah, I really can’t twerk.

The Tap & Tanner, then The Registry followed for more good times but I can’t recall much anecdotal evidence from those places but it was a super Saturday, and I phoned The Wheatsheaf on the Tuesday and spoke to the landlord so it all ended well.

Vertical Ordering, Seated Drinking.

Monday was Freedom Day in England, face masks were no longer mandatory and finally you could walk around a pub not looking like you were about to perform open heart surgery. So how did I mark this occasion? I went to the pub. A group that I’m in Friends Of Highgate Brewery were having their first meet up in around 18 months at the Black Country Arms and it had to be done. It was a beautiful stroll there in glorious sunshine and the bells of St Matthew’s Church were in full flow which doesn’t happen often these days. It really was an uplifting walk.

I walked in the pub, without signing in and headed up to the bar, and what sight was awaiting? The BCA has 20 handpulls but of late all the pump clips have been turned round. But now bar ordering is allowed they were all front facing. Begging for my attention. Enticing me to walk closer. So I did. A purchase of a pint of Ossett Brewery “Butterley” later and I was outside having great discussions with folks that I’ve not seen for what felt like decades. They had also put some food on. Which included red onion and cheese cobs. I shunned onions for pretty much 44 of my 47 years on this Earth and would always remove them from these cobs, then one day I just couldn’t be arsed and ate them. And I’ve done so ever since, but these red onions were the type that make you think you nose is going to explode. Absolutely amazing and a great gesture from the pub to provide munchies.

It’s good to be back on the pulls.

I stayed for a few more beers. I’m a disciple to Thornbridge Brewery and I saw a beer of theirs that I hadn’t had before “Brother Rabbit” so I went on that and it was excellent. Now that you can stand in pubs, I paused long enough to take a picture of my favourite part of the pub (other than the bar) which is of some framed Walsall FC shirts. And then I called it a night. The bells were ringing out for Freedom Day, and I didn’t get called a scumbag, maggot or cheap lousy faggot.

For the weekend my mate Craig was stopping over at mine and I was meeting him at Rock Steady Eddie’s. Unfortunately the buses weren’t playing nicely coming out of work so he, having got there earlier than planned was already on pint no 4 and had got me the same on the table so I could catch up. Now, I like a bit of a booze, you may have gathered that, but even I was a bit hesitant at catching up on 4 pints. So we haggled and he had one of them.

Upon arrival at Eddie’s my jukebox enemy was in the doorway but he moved to let me pass without acknowledgement, so I marched past. It’s a good job Craig was outside or Mr Enemy would have been walking back into the sounds of “The Beginning Of The Twist” by The Futureheads, the class tune that started our beef.

From there we had a pleasant pint in The Pretty Bricks, then onto The Oak Inn to bother the quiz machine, which inspired by the buses also wasn’t playing nicely. A couple of lemon and lime ciders in Katz followed and then we had to hit Flan O’Briens which was finally reopening that day. It shut before the November lockdown so it was good to have it back. It’s a vital pub for the town and we need it. It was a great time in the, the highlight being a bit of Cathy Dennis. From there we headed over the road to Blue Gingers for a much needed curry to end the night.

Saturday we popped over to Rushall to clean out the quizzer. £11 on Pointless? Thank you very much, then it was The Walsall Arms. The Salopian Lemon Dream was in good nick although an accident with the hand sanitiser left a bit of a blemish in an area of my shorts were you don’t need a sight like that. Fortunately we were not partaking in the now allowed standing and it quickly dried so no harm done.

From there we moved onto The Watering Trough, which is known as Walsall’s rock pub. We bought our pints, plonked ourselves down on the settee’s and what comes on? Red Red Wine. For once me and Mr Jukebox Enemy would have been on the same page. We supped up, didn’t make our apologies and left.

We moved onto The Lyndon house and had a pint in the back garden. The tent has now been removed so you can now enjoy all the flowers. It’s such a peaceful place and it’s instant serenity. Seated on the next table was a fellow Walsall FC fan. His opening gambit was “I’ve known you for years but I don’t know how to pronounce your name is it Evo? Or Evo? I confirmed that it is Evo and that the people behind the new Vodaphone advert have got it totally wrong. I then let it slip that our beloved team had won 5-0 today which he didn’t know. I apologised for the spoiler and ruining his watching of Match Of The Day on the night. He then revealed he hadn’t been to a game for two seasons due to work but had swapped shifts and could now attend again. He’s that impressed with the changes at the club this Summer that he’s bought his first season ticket since the days of Fellows Park (our wonderful home ground until 1990).

Some of the Lyndon flowers.
The toilet seat in the Lyndon looks very shocked at me having a wee without a mask on.

From there we headed back to Katz for more lemon and lime cider. The barman who calls me Andy was behind the decks in the new outdoor disco set up, then it was back to Blue Gingers for more curry goodness and we dashed up to the Walsall Arms to round the night off. There was an Abba tribute act and then a bit of a disco and it was superb in there. Craig decided we need Baileys and enjoyed his so much we stayed for another. We had a great time and they didn’t need to bring out the huge inflatable Unicorn water sprinkler which had been the highlight of the previous Sunday’s entertainment. If you ever want to pretend that you’re in the 5ive video for “Let’s Dance” just simply dance around while a giant inflatable Unicorn sprays water over you from above.

What a week it’s been.

Rushing To Rushall.

So yesterday I did something I’ve not done since February 2020 and attended a football match. It was Rushall Olympic versus a very youthful Walsall team, a fixture that happens pretty much every year and as it’s a great set up at Rushall Olympic it has to be done.

First though was breakfast. During recent months my favourite cafe Jack & Ada’s has acquired an alcohol licence, and as I’ve not been in since the joyous days of Eat Out To Help Out it was time to make a long awaited return.

Having booze with your breakfast gives it a Wetherspoons in an airport feel as commented by my colleague Lindsey on Friday when I told and this mission.

I opted for Brew Dog Punk IPA and with the strength of it (5.4 %) was pleased it was only in a normal sized can. My problem with eating breakfast in public is having to fight the urge to stick a fork in a sausage and launch it like in the opening credits to Grange Hill. 10 more of those cans and I’d have probably done it.

Breakfast arrived quickly and was duly polished off whilst enjoying songs by ELO and The Who. On Friday I read an article on restaurant etiquette which suggested you should leave some of the food on the plate as a compliment and to say the meal has filled you up. I left some bacon rind as a nod to this. As much as I enjoyed a booze with the brekkie it was just for investigative journalist purposes and I won’t be making a habit of it.

Inject this into me.

Then it was 997 bus time and I headed to The Manor Arms. There are two places in the borough of Walsall that are referred to as The Manor, (1) a 18th century real ale pub in Rushall which you must visit or (2) the town’s main hospital which you should try and stay out of.

Class place this, with no bar and you are served in a kind of hatch, well you will be once again when Boris gives the nod. I had a pleasant pint of Wainwrights, then Kimbo arrived and we headed outside. The sun made a welcome appearance although it was subbed off quicker than Grealish the other night. Let’s hope he figures more tonight.

Beautiful building.

We had a relaxed time outside talking football and watching as a Labrador tried to instigate some dog on dog aggresion with a very relaxed bull dog who was just trying to chill out in the marquee.

We moved onto The Boathouse and met Jay and we sat outside alongside the canal. I don’t know what it is but I just love a pint next to a body of water. I’ve done it by an ocean, river, canal, and Walsall pot hole full of water. Just need a stream, lake and reservoir to tick off all on that front.

England flags in pub windows always makes me smile.

I went to order the next round and couldn’t quite work out which way to get past the barriers so the barmaid “come this way or we’ll think you are staff”. Now I’m needing to earn some extra cash at the mo so I replied “oooh, what’s the hourly rate?” She dodged the question like a contestant on 1 Versus 100 so I just ordered the beer and headed to the loo. Upon leaving the beers were already waiting outside. Epic service.

Then it was match time, well sort of. It was already 15 minutes in as I got to the turnstiles. I don’t do kick offs to be fair. Then inside to fetch beer as you can take it outside to watch the game and finally to the food kiosk for an excellent £4 cheeseburger and chips. So it was 3.25 before I actually set eyes on the game. Rushall ran out comfortable 4-0 winners, I think I saw one of the goals, and before then end it was back in the excellent club house to catch up with some friends.

After a couple more pints it was time to head back into Walsall and to the Black Country Arms as they had announced the day before that they had on Vanilla Milkshake IPA by new(ish) Walsall based New Invention Brewery. I text my order to the bar as instructed. After a little while I still hadn’t received my beer. Then one of the bar staff queried if I’d placed my order. Turns out I’d got a digit wrong, so someone out there got my order of a pint of number 21 and a black pudding Scotch egg. And they still haven’t delivered it. So I reordered and I’d just missed out on the IPA. I really must work on my timings.

After that I had a gentle stroll home. Decent day and I saw so many people that I’ve not seen for ages so it really was a great occasion.

Right, I’ll leave you in peace. Enjoy tonight and come on England.

It Ad To Be Done.

I don’t watch television much nowadays but back when I did I used to love the adverts as much as the programmes. Obviously this was in the days before the infuriating meerkats so I thought for a laugh it would be good to recreate some of the old ones.


My favourite advert ever is the VW one from the early 90’s where the guy is driving along and hears a squeaking noise, goes to the garage and it’s his missus’s earring that is squeaking, causing the mechanic to laugh, and again at the squeaky overhead sign. However, I’m short of a car, desert like surroundings and a missus so I can’t do this one.

Just so good.


So I’ve looked elsewhere for adverts to recreate and as much as I’d love to be in the back of a van with a load of mates heading off somewhere singing “we hope it’s chips, it’s chips”, that’s currently not allowed, and my local launderette doesn’t get many visitors so I’m not stripping to my white boxer shorts in there (if I’m getting my pants out I demand a decent audience).
If Scott and Amy still had their bookshop in Walsall Town Centre then they would have had a couple of phone calls asking for Fly Fishing by J R Hartley. One from me and another in the style of Princess Stéphanie of Monaco
Here’s what I’ve come up with instead.


Shake n’ vac
So when I asked friends for ad suggestions, one of the most popular was Shake n’ vac. So after finally finding it in B&M I got to work. I watched the advert and reminded myself of the lyrics and after a vocal warm up with a rendition of Billy Ocean’s amazing song Red Light Spells Danger I got to work. It took a while, I’m not sure I got the dance right and because I did the Living Room, Hall and Porch on a nice March day whist wearing a fleece it got a bit hot and I finished the job topless. Something the nice lady in the video didn’t do. I also tripped over the vacuum and went flying. Again something the lady didn’t do. A good start but my one gripe was that the product was “fresh lemon” yet there was limes on the label and I simply couldn’t cope with this.

You do the Shake n Vac and get your moobs out fast.

Cadbury’s Flake
I watched the advert of the lady in the bath eating a Flake several times, I take my research very seriously. I got my adverts mixed up though as I was sure she ignored the telephone whilst eating the Flake. This was a different ad though for the same bar. The lady ignoring the phone is sat on a window sill in a silky negligee whilst chomping on a Flake. Nobody wants to see a picture of me doing that. So I went for the bath one. I asked a good lady friend if she would be up for this recreation. I offered to social distance (a bit) while she was in the bath, and a couple of extra Flake’s to take home, but it was a no.
So I did it myself. It wasn’t a totally like for like recreation as I didn’t let the bath over flow, and the lady in the ad didn’t inspect her chest upon finishing like I did (I only had 4 bits of chocolate land there so I think I did well). Not the mess I was expecting and more successful than the time I took a glass of wine in the shower. And I still have 3 bars left for next time.

Not for resale. Not really for eating in the bath either.

R White’s Lemonade.
This one was also suggested several times so after eventually finding a bottle of it (3 litres for a quid – absolute bargain) I got Daz round to be official photographer and witness. I don’t own pyjamas so just opted for my old dressing gown instead. It’s a garment I never wear but have held onto in case I get cast in a bedroom scene in a 1990’s period drama.
I absolutely nailed the vocals as I emerged down the stairs and I think Daz secretly really enjoyed it. He’s lucky as I only perform for paying audiences these days. I then helped him carry something to his car, almost forgetting to take the dressing gown off. There were neighbours about and that would have given them something to ponder.

O ar White’s lemonade. Goes well with gin.


So that’s it for now. there will be an edition 2 of this. Daz and myself are already working on another recreation but if there is any advert you’d like me to have a go at – not the ones from the 70’s with kids flying kites underneath pylons though, then please shout up. Cheers.