World Book Day.
So this annual festival happened this week and people wear outfits like literary characters. I got into it this time. I’m sure there is a scruffy twat in a book somewhere so I dressed up as him and went to work. That ended my involvement other than reading the Metro on the bus back to Walsall if that counts. I promise to have read A Clockwork Orange by this time next year.

Euston We Have A Purrfect Problem.
Cats am ace, I think we all agree on that although passengers at Euston may have been feline less love to them when one climbed on top of an engine causing delays. Thankfully the passengers were transferred to another train and were soon on their way but the cat on the train refused to move taking 2 and a half hours to be removed. The staff there clearly have no idea how cats work. 4 things that could have been put on the platform to entice the cat down. (1) empty box. (2) freshly delivered pizza (to sniff at or sit on). (3) dark suit jacket nicely laid out or (4) somebody sitting at a desk trying to send an urgent email on a laptop. They could have also bought my friend Jane in who always has treats in her bag to entice cats so she can review them on @thecatreviewer or simply got me to turn up. Cats always scarper from me so me arriving offering fuss and he’d have been out of there quicker than the Hogwarts Express. We wouldn’t have cost much to hire.

You Can Make Your Cake And Eat It.
Ambling around Heron, as I occasionally do I spotted Mr Kipling cake mix. Am I missing something? Doesn’t Mr Kipling make exceedingly good cakes? Since when did we have to start making them ourselves? Can’t he be arsed anymore? This wasn’t in the brochure. I think I’ll decline. My cooking skills aint all that and I think Mr Evans makes extremely shit cakes wouldn’t go down as one of the best marketing slogans.

I’ll pay a pound and have 6 ready made ones, thanks.

Schools In, For Ever.
Well hopefully so. It’s good to see kids going back to school tomorrow. Good for parents who didn’t have home schooling as a career choice. Good for my teacher friends who can now move offline and hopefully good for my work as we sell to schools. It’s been tough for the children too but in my first year at secondary school we missed lots of classes due to a teachers strike and I bloody loved it as I detested school. I didn’t get a single O Level but by the end a few of the teachers would have happily given me an F O Level. Anyway all the best to everyone returning tomorrow.

So it’s 5 weeks tomorrow till pubs can re-open to serve drinks al fresco as Lilly Allen would put in song, and Wetherspoons this week announced which pubs will be reopening on the day. Now I know they are not everybody’s cup of tea, and Mr Martins actions last year didn’t go gown well with some folk but my god seeing some of the local ones on that list in glorious black and white just bought a smile to my face. A clear sign that we are emerging from this ordeal and we can now start to focus on this event. Good news also for my current batch of 50p off a pint CAMRA vouchers that have been under house arrest since they arrived. Chuffed for my numerous friends that work for them too. I can’t wait to get back in St Mathews Hall (Walsall town centre’s lone Wetherspoons after the bad decision to close our far better one The Imperial).

Bring on the booze but I also want to get some of their grub down me. I’ve missed the Steak Club and also breakfasts. I’m thinking of getting down there at 10am on the first Saturday, and piling high the table with plates of Eggs Benedict. A bit like that Mr Creosote sketch. And woe betide anyone who offers me a wafer thin mint.

Taken last Sunday, people have already been practising the outside drinking at St Matts Hall

Your Stage Career, It’s Behind You. Oh No It Isn’t.
Well I’ve been on a bit of a break from my amateur dramatic family but at last the stage is calling my name again. My two show break is having a one show break if that makes sense as Aldridge Musical Comedy Society (AMCS) have announced an October panto of Cinderella and I want in. The script has been written by my good friend and writing inspiration Nick Britt who has promised silliness and I can cope with that. Last time he had me running across the stage in an inflatable pig outfit (one of only two times I’ve been the sole person on stage) and I am frothing at the mouth to see what he has in store for us this time.

Having just ran across the stage, and I think I’d have broken the 3 minute mile if I’d continued to the pub.