On Saturday it was a Friends Of Highgate Brewery coach trip to Thornbridge Brewery. The stomach needed lining and I’m pleased to say that after last week’s blog announcement about going off full English breakfasts, I’m now back on them. I headed to the Brewers Fayre for the all you could eat jobbie. I wasn’t overly hungry but with the clock ticking I liked the idea of everything I wanted being already cooked and I could just grab what I fancied. I only went up once but the bacon was bang on and really warranted a second sampling but I was good.

The coffee machine threw a mard when I tried to obtain a latte and suddenly threw out plumes of steam, making me think I was on Stars In Their Eyes, I nearly belted out a bit of Shirley Bassey but a member of staff came rushing over. the machine was out of milk so he put this right and I soon had my coffee.

Before departing I popped to the loo, pushed the cubicle door open and the sight that greeted me immediately reminded me of that scene in The Young Ones when they are on the train to University Challenge and Vyvyan announces “I’m off to put loads of paper down the toilet”. Obviously I took a picture but if I post it here it will be the cover picture for the blog and nobody wants that.

I made my way to the coach, and do you remember from the Coventry night blog, that I bailed on the last FOHB trip, to Milton Keynes when the coach was barely metres into its journey due to the lack of toilet? Lots of booze + weak bladder x no toilet on coach is a sum that I never want to work out but this time there was loo facilities on board. I was informed of this before I had even got all the way up the steps and I got lots of banter as I made my way along the coach which I loved.

I thought that after Thornbridge we were having a pub crawl of Bakewell but I quickly learned that it was in fact Buxton we were visiting. I’d done my pub research for Bakewell and bought along an additional “tart budget”. Fortunately Bob, one of the organisers had bought along maps and pub guides to Buxton so myself and coach buddy Martin Wall set about doing research.

The onboard raffle occurred, and I’m normally good on these and it proved again as I won 5th prize and opted for a set of Timothy Taylor posters rather than a book on trains. I don’t really have much room left in my house for wall decorations, some of the remaining space is earmarked for a poster about The KLF and a few more pictures of me but I’ll erect them somewhere.

We arrived at the brewery in good time. I’ve been to their first site at Thornbridge Hall a couple of times but this was my maiden voyage to the new place. The tap is massive. Think an aircraft hanger but with no planes and booze instead and you’re about right. It’s a really good set up there. Service was quick and friendly and there were a good range of ales available.

After a very pleasant 90 minutes (it’s not often a Walsall FC fan can say that) it was time to depart so I headed to the shop for a couple of souvenirs. I was taken by the socks but they were £10 a pair and my sock budget doesn’t stretch that far. I don’t mind spending good money on pants that nobody will ever see but I don’t splash out on socks that nobody will view. So I ploughed the sock and Bakewell Tart budget into a few bottles of ale.

I will go back to Thornbridge and hopefully stay longer but if you’ve not been I really recommend it. If you want someone to come along and hold your hand, just shout up.

We arrived at Buxton and I teamed up with Ade and Dan who were heading as far from the coach as the guides we had allowed and then working their way back. First pub was Old Sun Inn, this was dimly lit and I gave too much coinage for my pint which the barmaid happily refunded. The music was excellent in here with the REM classic “It’s The End Of the World As We Know it” playing as we found our table and it was followed up with Blondie, The Clash and The Jam. This is the good music pub of Buxton.

Cheshire Cheese was next. The guide said it was a Greene King pub but a range of Titanic beers greeted us, which was nice. I went for Steerage. The sign outside had 4 bullet points on it one of which was “Enthusiasm for proper pubs”. Although knowing me it could have said “Enthusiasm for shit pubs” and I’ve have still been clammering to get it in.

The barman in The Swan was a top lad and he liked me as I agreed that cash is king while Dan was struggling as his £4 pint was below the card payment minimum amount. He then found some notes and everyone was happy. They have a meat raffle in here and I still haven’t taken part in one. Someone in Walsall please get a meat raffle in your pub. You have guaranteed customer from me on draw day.

The Queens Head was the me pub of the day. A pinball machine and two quiz machines are in here. The two Pointless jackpots amounted to over £11 so I had a quick go on the one with the higher purse only to crash and burn due to my lack of Championship mascots from 2012 knowledge.

The Kings Head was very busy but I liked the feel of the place. It was like someone had been to several Marstons pubs for inspiration then mashed it up with input from The Hosghead in Wolverhampton.

The Old Club House had tables either half full or reserved so we had to stand but when I went exploring I found a side room which I assume was for diners that had just two people in it. I wanted to ask if we could sit in there but I was scared so I didn’t.

Last visit of the day was to The Old Courthouse. Upon arrival I needed a piss and a pint (I’d stuck too halves all the way round the crawl) but I saw a tent selling food. Not one pub we’d been in had sold cobs. Sorry toilet and bar but I need grub. A well received £3.50 tray of fries later and the other two missions were ready to be completed.

It was a superb day out. The coach back was interesting as it made its way down narrow twisty roads and passed desolate moors but we were soon back in Walsall.

Martin and I had a couple in Wetherspoons and I headed home via the Walsall Arms to break up the journey. The problem I had here is the little short cut that I use to get to said pub now has a chain across the car park. Not normally a problem but by now I wasn’t at my most sober and the carrier bag containing the Thornbridge bottles was close to splitting so I was having to hold it clutched to my chest, like how Rizzo in Grease holds her books whilst singing “There Are Worse Things I Could Do”. I had a couple of goes at negotiating the chain but I couldn’t get my leg over. I had to sit on the partially demolished wall next to it and ease myself over. It felt like I was on It’s A Knockout but without a leaking bucket of water to protect it was lovely booze instead. I expected someone to turn up and start throwing wet sponges.

Anyway I made it to the pub and had one last pint to round off a great day. The carrier back survived the final part of the journey and on Tuesday I went to Mozzas and bought a Bakewell Tart which I demolished when I got home.