I still owe you the final instalment of the A – Z of unticked Walsall eateries. I’m still 3 visits off completing that so I will get it sorted soon all being well. But, and it’s a big but in the meantime I’ve been a bit peckish so I’ve been making first time visits to more places.

Scoffs. 188 High Street, Bloxwich.

I’ve got to be honest, despite being a regular visitor to Bloxwich, I had no idea of this place. Then one day Swill, one of my absolute best friends, raved about it and their battered chips. This needed looking into.

Mid December and one cold Saturday morning the Walsall v Crewe match was called off giving me some unexpected free time. It was to become munchie time and I did not mess about, arriving in Bloxwich just after midday. Scoffs had a big poster in the window offering seasonal battered items. Mince pies (er no), pigs in blankets (feasible) and sprouts. Sprouts, whilst not as high on the axis of evil as cauliflower, they still reside on it. The thought of them nearly made me retch and almost caused an abandonment of the mission but I was brave, put them to the back of my mind and ventured in.

There was a seated area which made me think “I’ll have me a bit of that”, I was served quickly and opted for the mini fish and battered chips with gravy. I made my way to the dining area and spotted a couple with mugs of tea. Hot beverages hadn’t even crossed my mind. I marched back to the counter (the young lass who served me looked a bit startled at this), I returned and sat down with beverage on the way feeling very at peace with the world.

The food and drink was amazing. Chips delightful, fish yummy and the gravy was ace. Tea is always nicer when made by someone else and to be honest I’m shit at making it despite it being the second thing my dad taught me after how to piss in the potty.

This was a superb visit and when I do these reviews I always say “yeah I’ll go back there” and rarely do but this place I was back at again a week later for pre alcohol stomach lining. Later in the day this time but the chips were ace again although the seated area was closed so I had to scoff whist standing outside Wetherspoons looking like the uncouth slob that I am. You need to visit this place everyone.

Burger And Sauce, Stafford Street, Walsall.

Located in what was Hearnshaws home furnishings store at the bottom end of Stafford Street this bright and airy burger joint opened recently. First points were earned with it being warm. It was a freezing cold mid January day and the last couple of hours at work we’d had the shutter wide open for no other reason I could see than someone was having a giggle.

As the name suggests you pick your burger (I went chicken with all vegetation held) then the sauce to go on it (signature in this instance) and job’s a good un. I was tempted by the lemon pepper chicken wings but had to pass with time being short as I was meeting Swill to see M3Gan at The Light Cinema (great film).

It’s not the cheapest burger place, no 99p McDonalds saver menu here which may have put off the family of 3 who followed me in and walked back out a minute later. Or maybe they’d come to buy some rugs and carpets.

The food didn’t take long to be cooked and the lady behind the counter earned bonus points by pronouncing Mikee correctly when calling me up. The food was hot, tasty and very enjoyable.

The place is clean, bright and airy. There were a small handful of other customers but the delivery men were in and out the whole time so the take out side is doing well.

I liked this place. One of their slogans is “let’s get saucy” a sentiment that I can truly get on board with and they do a 15% NHS discount which is decent of them and something I will keep in mind should I ever get a job with said organisation.

BRRGRR, 42 Old Square, Freer Street, Walsall.

One of my bug bears of modern life is this new craze of taking the vowels out of words (or just one of them with the infuriating rise of people spelling colour without the u). With how languages evolve I’m worried that vowels will soon become a thing of the past making the choosing the letters part of Countdown a bit less exciting, though viewers on S4C will love it. Anyway I visited a new vowel less burger joint on a freezing Saturday straight from work (shutter open again – oh the joy) with the intention of lining the stomach ahead some pre Walsall v Swindon booze.

First thing that hit me that the warm Yin of Burger And Sauce was countered here by a cold slap of Yang. Absolutely no heating on. I’d had no breakfast so decided to pig out. Meal deal, side and drink. Lavish it on me.

The menu is quite extensive. The dearest item is the DIRRTY BRRGRR, ideal if Christina Aguilera is ever in town. This £13.49 bad boy has 3 smashed beef patty’s cheese, turkey rashers and chicken sausages, plus vegetation. I’m a tightwad though so went for FISH BRRGRR asking for the lettuce to be held which was clarified and confirmed by the lady serving.

I settled down and opened Facebook. Oh. The Swindon match had been postponed hours earlier. Oh well, food and home for a kip instead. The kip turned into a long, unplanned thoroughly enjoyable pub crawl

Three blokes came in, one of them removed his jacket which I thought was brave of him. He ordered his food and put it back on again.

I’d ordereed fish burger, chicken and cheese loaded fries, BBQ chicken wings and a vanilla milkshake. It wasn’t a mega long wait for the food but the fries were lukewarm at best. The fish burger still had the lettuce on it, along with a a big tomato slice which wasn’t in the brochure and there was no sign of the cheese. The milkshake was amazing though.

Ths is a nice place. They have certainly spent some money and put some thought into it. I’ll probably go back when the warmer months arrive.

Peppers City, 21-23 Stafford Street, Walsall.

Don’t let the name fool you. They don’t just serve peppers, they do nice food too. Good start to this visit as a nice Just Eat driver held the door open for me. Well I assume it was Just Eat although I know other sites like this exist but I’ve never used any of them as I’m from the 1970’s and don’t do technology.

Plenty of choice in here, so much so that when a couple came up the counter behind me I was still perusing. I let them be served and turned to my left where there was more options. Then the double egg blaster jumped out at me. Yes please. Hold the lettuce (they did).

The food was quick, hot and really good. There was a good sprinkling of customers for a cold Monday evening in January. One wall is dedicated to slogans with my favourite being “arrive hungry, leave smiling” which I did on both counts. Not quite beaming but yes a nice smile.

Only one toilet in here which is unisex so quite popular so be warned that someone may want in whilst you are in there. Somebody gave the door a good furious tugging whilst I was in full flow so remember to lock that door. Good visit this, to the venue I mean not the toilet.

Beast. 144A Lichfield Street, Walsall.

Walsall gets a lot of bad press but come on, how many towns have got a takeaway called Beast? Please don’t send lists if there’s shitloads.

I’ve been a regular at this place in its various guises over the years but not since it’s been Beast and as it’s the closest takeaway to what will be my parlour in the town hall when I become Mayor, I thought I’d best tick it off again

I perused the menu in the window. First excitement is they do lasagne. I’ve never known a takeaway do this. For £2.20 more you get a drink and garlic bread thrown in. That’s happening one of the nights. Further excitement occurred when I saw they do a Flake milkshake. This wasn’t happening though as it was a cold Monday evening and I didn’t want to be hanging around outside with a milkshake, especially as I was soon to be meeting Swill in The Registry where pints of Inch’s cider were on the agenda.

I ventured in and ordered the regular mixed kebab meat and fries. Whilst waiting I looked around. There is a big stash of plastic cutlery available if you want to stock up before they ban it. I also took a menu and had another look. This one contradicted the one in the window somewhat. The milkshakes were £2 dearer but a bigger range, including a Lion Bar one. If I’d known that when ordering then Swill and the pints of Inch’s might of been waiting for me a while.

Not much in the way of furniture in here. Just one table and stool which to be fair would suit me on Valentines Day. “Table for one please my good man. I’ll have the lasagne, garlic bread, Lion Bar milkshake and the finest plastic cutlery please”. It would be the best Valentines Day ever, mind that would be the case if I stayed in and ate dust.

The food was good. The chicken was freshly cooked and divine. The lamb kebab? Well it’s lamb kebab, you know what you’re getting. You’d have had to walk under several ladders, break a mirror, kill a spider and flick the v’s at a black cat to get rubbish lamb kebab meat.

Cracking visit this one. I Love doing these reviews but I might have to calm down a bit. I’ve had fish fingers in the freezer for a fortnight now and that’s never happened before. Thanks for reading.