A little while ago my great mate Sean Westwood asked me if I’d be interested in doing some podcasts talking about beer and life in general. Naturally I said “yes”. Sean knows lots of people, and this project clearly meant a lot to him so I was honoured to be asked to be his co-host. In our time we have shared a work office, stages, dressing rooms (prior to going on stage of course, we don’t just turn up at random changing rooms and undress as much as we like each other). We have also shared many a drink together so I knew this was going to be epic.

Last Sunday I was off to Tamworth for episode 1. As well as being a podcast it was also going to be filmed, so in lieu of this I got the iron out for the first time in 2023. I’d also spent a small amount of the previous Friday evening trying to trim my eyebrows with a pair of kitchen scissors. This wasn’t a great success.

I stopped at McDonalds as I was needing double sausage and egg McMuffin with large toffee latte action. As I sat there munching I checked the train app and learned that my service was 9 minutes late. I had 5 minutes to change in Rugeley so wasn’t too happy at potentially arriving there 4 minutes after my connection had gone. I finished my food and hoped that the train would make up those 9 minutes as it hurtled towards Staffordshire.

I ambled to the station to see that my train was now 21 minutes late. Marvellous. Eventually it arrived and everyone clambered aboard. When I was a kid, going on a train was a rare treat and absolute novelty. I feel like we have regressed back to those times of late so it was nice to be on a chuff chuff again.

We got to Rugeley Trent Valley and my connecting train was also late arriving just after I did. Result. Tamworth here we come.

I thought I knew my way in and around Tamworth but I clearly took a wrong turn or two so ended up wandering around aimlessly. I was not seeking directions from a passer by. I’m a stubborn little sod and generally won’t ask for help in most situations. I reckon if my house ever catches fire, I’ll sit on the settee waiting for 999 to phone me.

I eventually found The Crafty Two (nee Tavern In The Town). Sean and his good lady Sammy were already there. Sean’s first question was “have you been in here before?”. I’ve been drinking in Tamworth about 5 or 6 times but couldn’t recall this one. I checked my pub challenge notes when I got home and I haven’t ticked it off on any of those so I guess this place has passed me by.

It’s cooly decked out and the background music was class, 3 songs by The White Stripes in the first half hour being a welcome touch. We had fish finger sandwiches to line the stomachs before starting.

Sean was still setting up so me and Sammy made small talk. I mentioned that I was really nervous about this and she said that I’d be fine as I perform on stage in front of hundreds of people. I didn’t bother to tell her that I was actually shaking with nerves and that my bollocks were clacking together as if they were on a Newton’s Cradle.

We started the recording. The premise is that we try 3 or 4 drinks, then a shot and (very) briefly share our thoughts on them. Sean then asks me prepared questions of which I have no previous knowledge. The nerves got to me and I fumbled my first couple of lines but then I got the first laugh in and I settled down.

It felt very much like a pilot episode what with nerves and the whole newness of it but as the episodes pass mine and Sean’s on screen relationship will develop and blossom. This will lead to episodes being funnier and slicker.

After filming we had more drinks. The pub serves real ales, craft beers and I had my first ever Baby Guinness shot, which was ace but don’t ask me the ingredients.

At this point I have to give big thanks to Matt Mason for insisting I got the train times app on my phone. My return train was already showing as 6 minutes late. The next time I checked it had been cancelled. So cheers Mase as it was good to find this out whilst still in the pub rather than at the station. Next train was in an hour so back up the bar it was.

The next train was 10 minutes delayed as I left the pub. By the time my taxi arrived at the station it had changed to 40 minutes late. Arse. This time absolutely dragged by. As arrival time approached I heard a man say to his son who was about 10 “oh, it’s almost due”. The lad replied “just because it’s due, doesn’t mean it’ll arrive”. This was followed up with a very gloomy “we’ve been here 2 hours”. I was happier for him than me when it arrived but I was glad that I spent an hour and twenty minutes of those 2 hours still in the pub.

The train was rammed. A quick glance around the carriage revealed that the novelty of being on a train had certainly worn off on these people. A dog that got on in Tamworth looked thoroughly miserable within minutes of this experience.

We got to Rugeley and there was another 40 minute wait for the train back to Walsall. Rugeley Trent Valley is possibly one of the most desolate stations going, nit helped by the nearby Yorkshireman pub being long gone. Whoever owns that now private dwelling could have paid their mortgage off several times over by opening a micro pub in a spare room.

The train arrived and I treated myself to a seat in 1st class. I thought they owed me that bit of “luxury” after all the time that they had cost me. Thankfully we were back in Walsall fairly quickly.

I popped into the Walsall Arms on the walk back home and as I approached I could hear the karaoke was in full swing. I entered just as someone got up to perform the Rolf Harris classic “The Court Of King Caractacus”. A brave choice I thought on two counts. (A) it’s a hard song to sing, well the very fast last verse is and (B) you don’t really hear of Rolf since he got jailed. Turned out though that this man wasn’t singing the song, just dancing around and performing movements. It was a bit odd but he went down a storm and many people in the very busy pub did sing along, myself included. I had one pint and went home. It had been a long day, a thoroughly enjoyable one though.

Episode 1 of The Long And Shot Of It should be out on March 3rd. It’s now 7.30 am on 26th of February. I’m going to launch this blog on the usual platforms then go back to bed with a mug of tea. I’ll be then off down Katz later to film episode 2. Excited muchly.