Last Saturday didn’t run smoothly to start with. I had a couple of jobs to do on the PC, both of which took far longer than I expected. So I didn’t leave the house until after 2pm. Slight pain as I had been craving poached egg on toast from Jack & Ada’s all week and by now it was too late to head there. “Cook it yourself at home” I hear people exclaim. Well at the risk of sounding like Kryten from Red Dwarf, that is an excellent suggestion with just 2 small drawbacks. (1) I didn’t have any eggs. (2) the last (and only) time I tried to cook poached eggs they turned out like a lava lamp. Kids ask someone who was cool in the 1970’s.

I needed cash so headed to town and then to catch the 45 to Bescot Stadium. Turns out it is now half hourly (I swore it was every 15 or 20 minutes until NXWM gave up the route in January). Diamond who took it over have reduced the frequency and are giving the service up completely and now I had missed it by 5 minutes.

I was still hungry. I glanced at Greggs but I’ve not been in there since a lukewarm inedible sausage. cheese and bean melt incident in January. A bus that would get me a third of the way to the ground arrived and I jumped on that.

I say jumped it was more slowly following a family. The dad sat down half way up the bus whilst the rest remained in the buggy area. He then decided he needed to speak with the missus and shot forward, barging into me and knocking me over. I gave him a loud “bloody hell” and continued on my way. I found a seat, he got back in his and everyone was happy.

Then a lady got on the bus that looked liked the lead singer of Kings Of Leon. I hoped that she would start belting out 4 Kicks and that everyone in the vicinity would start fighting during the instrumental parts like in the video. Okay, I admit that my sense of imagination sometimes runs away from me but if group violence had broken out on that vehicle I’d have been straight up and at Mr Bargey Bargey Man.

I got to Bescot Stadium at 3.20. I was still hungry. I tried for the 8th game in a row to get Quavers out of the Bescot Bar vending machine. “This product is disabled” again. Sigh. I hope at the Fans Forum on March 27th people rise up about this issue. #freethequavers.

I grabbed a latte from the other machine and a cheeseburger from the catering van and finally made my way into the stand around the 26th minute mark. I watched about 12 minutes of the game and went back to the bar.

A few post match beers followed then a taxi to Ablewell Fish Bar, it was finally time to eat something substantial. Reguar kebab meat and chips, no sauce or salad please. I don’t like salad on my breakfast. I demolished this whist ambling up to The Wheatsheaf. Recently Goughy and Harriet had a daughter Imogen and it was wetting the baby’s head time.

There were good showings all round, both from people out for the occasion and also the line up of ales on the bar. When coming to serve me though the barman did that annoying thing of just looking at me rather than trying to ascertain what I wanted via the medium of words.

I love a group photo and we were all summonsed outside for one. Naturally I took my pint with me and made sure I was at the front. A nice lady took the picture and a couple of the lads were encouraging her to flash which she did but only with the camera phone.

Whilst supping my Green Duck Session IPA I noticed on the blackboard craft cider at £2.20 pint. No other clues. I love a booze and I like a bargain so that was next up. The conversation went along the lines of “can I have a pint of the £2.20 cider please?” “Cloudy or clear?” “Whichever is £2.20”. I got cloudy. It really was £2.20 and it was good.

Before I departed I made the standard toilet visit. A gent in there let out 8 good belches in a row which I liked as it saved me listening to Paul McCartney And The Frog Chorus which I had been planning to do. I left and was tucked up in bed with a mug of tea in time to listen to Nick Abbot on LBC. Good times.

Episode 2 of The Long And Shot Of It is now out, this one filmed in Katz. Better microphones are on the way to hide the background noise.