I’ve been a bit peckish of late so I’ve done another 5 takeaway reviews and this time it’s a chip shop special. I like this. There may be a volume 2. And 3. Etc.

Kings Fish Bar. 5 Walstead Road, Delves.

This was Middletons when I was a kid and an absolute rare treat to go to in those days. It was Kings though on my last visit which was on the first Tuesday in September 2009. I only know this as it was the first night of my writing course. A night that was to lead to me writing two novels, becoming a stage performer and the blogger that I am nowadays. But it started with chips.

This visit was on March 7th. Well into Lent, possibly the coldest night of the year and I needed a food feast before the expected football feast that was Walsall v Bradford.

I opted for the mini fish deal which included curry sauce. Halfway through preparing my order she turned and pointed out that they didn’t accept card. Why she didn’t say his at the start I wasn’t sure, or why she did at all. There was a big notice on the counter right in front of me pointing this out, I know my eyes are crap but I’d clocked this plus I wasn’t stood there with my flexible friend ready to pounce on the chip and pin terminal. I was paying cash anyway but had it been going on card I’d have splashed out for a fried Mars Bar as I hadn’t given those up for Lent.

They do a good range of drinks but not Lilt so if you are after one last can of that before it is discontinued you will be disappointed.

The food was good to be fair although talking to Chris Steele at the match afterwards he said the battered chips with Peri Salt are incredible and the kebabs are phenomenal. I’ll bear that in mind next time I go which hopefully won’t take 14 years this time.

Jay’s Fish Bar. 149 Pleck Road, Walsall.

No back story to this one, sorry. First time visit. Service was quick and I again went for the mini fish deal, but with the added bonus of a can of Lilt. It was pleasant to sit in there eating nice food whilst watching the rush hour traffic crawl past.

The battered sausage is 5p cheaper on the sign above the counter than the one on the wall so point that out when ordering. The sign writer was clearly having a mare with his sausage on that day as the three times saveloy appeared it was spelt correctly once. Yes I know I’m in no position to throw stones when it comes to spelling but this is my glass house and these are my rocks.

They do chicken nuggets but in decent quantities i.e 6, 10 or 20. None of that having to order 9 bollocks like at McDonalds. Odd incident of the visit was when a man came in, ordered his food then produced something out of a carrier bag which he asked if they could heat up and they happily did. So if your microwave is broken Jay’s do a heat while you wait service.

The only music was a 30 second blast of a somewhat techno version of Belinda Carlisle’s Heaven Is A Place On Earth which was brief but good.

Decent one this. If I’m ever in the vicinity of the Manor Hospital again I might make another visit. And ask if they’ll remove the sweetcorn and put water in my Pot Noodle.

Caldmore Fish Bar. 6 Caldmore Green, Walsall.

Newish place this opening around the time of the pandemic and I went a few times during the first couple of months but then they broke the golden rule. When you have two pieces of chicken and chips for me you should get a drumstick and a breast but on my last visit I got two of the former and I haven’t been back since. But it was time to give them another try.

There was a man awaiting a sizeable order so I took the chance to peruse the menu. During this time another man entered the shop who clearly wanted to be served quickly as he stood right behind me. I was dreading someone in the shop playing Move Closer by Phyllis Nelson on their phone in case he took this as his cue to invade the last remaining millimetre between us. I stood my ground so he moved alongside me. The guy serving though clocked that I was next and quickly took my order. So quick that I forgot to order a scallop.

They do beans. I’ve never known this in a chip shop. Despite my excitement at this I didn’t order any as I had about the same amount in my pantry as a decent corner shop would.

I went for fish and chips and it came in a box. This always adds a bit of class to the proceedings. The food was really good and quickly demolished. They are back in my good books so I need to go back and test the 2 pieces of chicken theory again. And try a scallop.

The Plaice To Eat. 97 High Street, Brownhills.

I had to be in Brownhills to present The Jiggers Whistle with their Walsall CAMRA Cider Pub Of The Year award. I needed food and on the Brownhills Bob page the week before someone ad asked where was best for battered chips. This chippy got a few nods so it was motion carried.

I took the usual photo outside and upon entry I was asked why I’d taken it. This is the first time I’ve been asked that question and it caught me off guard. I said I’m quite forgetful (feasible) and that I like to keep a visual record of where I’ve been. She wasn’t arsey I must point out, just curious which is fine by me.

The next question was more straightforward. “What can I get you darlin?” I like being called darlin. Let’s be honest, I don’t get it very often. I wasn’t ready as I’d not studied the menu so I just went for small chips. “Battered, plain or a mixture?” If battered is an option then that is always the way to go.

I didn’t have time to look round in search of blog material as the brief amount of time it took for my chips to be served was spent trying to work out if there was a toilet down the back or eyeing up the 3 kebab meats. A toilet would have been useful as I’d had 2 pints in Bloxwich before bussing back to Walsall then out to Brownhills so I was close to bursting. Another reason why I had just chips so I didn’t have to loiter outside the pub too long with my legs crossed.

The battered chips were superb and they came with those little batter bits that you don’t get very often. A nice meal, and I made the toilet.

Bek’s. 8 Croft Parade, Aldridge.

Aldridge got a new chip shop this week. I’m a massive fan of the existing Bek’s shop in Darlaston so I was very excited when my legend of a former work colleague Jade told me about this one opening.

I went the day after opening along with Dave and we were warmly welcomed by the owner of the Darlaston store who was in to oversee the new team. He liked that I’d been to the other shop and was very impressed that I’d travelled over from Caldmore to try this one and he announced this to the whole team.

We timed it very nicely as there was just one customer when we arrived but the queue was soon out the door. I went for fish, chips and gravy which came as a deal. They also do beans but they were not included in the deal unlike gravy and curry sauce, but I was happy enough with what I got.

The man from Darlaston carried my food to my seat and also rushed to get me cutlery and a serviette which was a very nice touch. Dave had a mixed meat kebab. He let me sample his meat and it was very good. My fish and chips were really good and gravy just adds levels to it.

I think Dave thought he was in St Matthews Hall (Walsall’s Wetherspoons) as he tried to make friends with everyone who walked in, like he does in that pub. During one lengthy discussion he had with his two new best friends he kept trying to involve me in the conversation to the point where I was going to give him a Homer Simpson style “can’t talk. Eating”.

The shop is very snazzy and the yellow stools look amazing, I so want them should I ever get room to sit in my kitchen. Aldridge you have a great chippy here.

Right that’s this one done and my God it might not be Lent but I really am giving up chips for a bit. Not quite 40 days and nights. Just a bit. Maybe.

While I’m on, my best friend Swill is currently trying to find the best chip shop in Bloxwich. He does proper reviews and actually talks about the food and prices. Give Bloxwich Community News on Facebook a follow if you want to see how his hunt is going.