On Saturday I went on a trip to Halifax, a town I’ve only been to 3 times previously, all for football. Two dismal defeats and one splendid 4-0 victory. One of the former including an odd incident where the food van for the away end didn’t turn up so after much persuasion a steward opened the gate and let 10 of us out to leg it to a local petrol station for half time snackage. The latter included a joyous conga breaking out in the away which eventually also included two Gillingham fans who were there to cheer us on.

So my only drinking in Halifax had been at The Shay pub by the ground, a place that on the noticeboard had a list of all the currently barred people, for how long and why. More pubs should do this.

At the Friends Of Highgate Brewery AGM in February when a list of potential trips was being mooted I happily cast my vote for Halifax and was delighted when it won.

After a pleasant breakfast at Walsall Wetherspoons I headed for the coach and for once I wasn’t last. I’m never late but I really do tend to be the last to arrive but not this time.

The motorway service station was odd. The toilet only had cubicles which was strange (it wasn’t the women’s as I’d passed them on the way). The toilet itself didn’t have a straightforward lid and took some fathoming out before I discovered a latch underneath. It was like being on The Crystal Maze. Richard O’Brien should have been standing outside playing a harmonica rather than the delightful “Bulletproof” by LaRoux being played. Anyway it sounded like the bloke in the next cubicle was also having the same trouble given the banging and frustrated noises emanating from there.

Anyway everyone loves a motorway fact yeah? I know I do. The M62 at junction 32 is the highest point above sea level of the entire motorway network. To recognise this my ears popped. Nice. We made the Halifax junction speedily but then lost a vital 30 minutes drinking time because of roadworks all the way in.

First pub was The 3 Pigeons which was magnificent but I’ll chat about that anther time – read about it here. From there we got a taxi to Big 6. A marvellous heritage pub out of town and down a random side street, a proper you have to know it’s there venue. Despite it’s vintageness it was also doubling up as a 2020 theme pub as it had hand sanitiser stations and signage all round the pub and the toilet door still boasted a “one in one out sign”.

The beer in here was cheap and decent. One man in the group nearly fainted because his two halves only came to £3.80. My pint was £3.50. If he’d had that I may have had to summon colleagues from the Cardiac Department.

We headed back into the town and Victorian Craft Beer Cafe was next. It certainly did feel Victorian with old pictures, books and bric a brac dotted around and with a rather rustic looking bike outside. Despite it saying Craft Beer there was plenty of cask options but with the word cafe in the name there were no menus offering sausage and egg sandwiches which I could have done with at that point. The beer was good though and it was a great bar.

Bob and I broke from the group and switched to halves to get more pubs in. Next up was The Upper George. A traditional pub but with mod cons. The only pub of the day to feature a pool table. A couple were playing and every time he potted he got a snog off his missus. Bob commented “he’s going to need some more chalk on his cue in a minute”. I briefly pondered what his reward for potting the black would be.

The pub was slogan free apart from above the gents (the door to which saying gents was fully open and thus not visible from the bar). It said “Push it to the limit”. Like I say there was no other slogans like this around so I was wondering how it translated into blokes, below is where you go for a piss. Perhaps Ted Rogers from 3-2-1 was asked to provide the clue.

The locals were decent and the highlight for Bob was one of them querying a price by saying “are you out of your tits?” Naturally I missed this as I was busy pushing it to the limit.

Our next tick was The Grayston Unity micropub. Pub Of The Day this. Quirky place with a friendly barman, a ladder that goes nowhere, a random coathanger and various other talking points, of which the splendid beer was one. We sat on a church pew but round the corner were 3 cinema style seats. Good job I didn’t sit ther as instead of booze I’d have wanted an SRB hotdog whilst everyone in the vicinity sang the Pearl & Dean song. The toilet was just a plywood shack decorated with pages from a 70’s magazine. No, not that kind of magazine. I’ll have none of that on my blog. They are moving to a new bar in 4 weeks so I’m glad I got to tick this one off.

Penultimate place was Kobenhavn, a smart bar which was pleasant enough and another decent drink. Final beer was in Meandering Bear which was basically full of everyone off the coach getting one (or two in some cases) beers in. As soon as I saw several people getting there seconds in I necked mine and dashed to the chip shop next door.

The journey back was quick and I rounded the day off with another drink in Walsall Wetherspoons.

An epic day. Get Halifax back in The Football League please.