I woke up yesterday morning ready for a sausage sandwich. As per usual with my life there was a snag. The previous night I was to come home from the Prince Of Wales Theatre in Cannock and get bread out of the freezer. Unfortunately as I came through the bus station the 51 was in and this service goes by my house, but also by the Walsall Arms, one stop earlier. To conserve my Carbon Footprint of course I got off at the earlier stop and went to the Arms. 3 quick but decent pints later I went home and bread duties went out the window. You had one job etc etc.

So instead I went to Wetherspoons for breakfast. I didn’t shave or iron my t-shirt thinking I’d be in and out and nobody would see me. Wrong. The whole world and their mom were there. I was joined by Matty Lovatt who after getting over the shock of seeing me drinking coffee provided good company and conversation. More fellow Saddlers in Dave O’Shea, Leechie and Goughy made cameo appearances. Even Jaz the lovely landlady of the Walsall Arms was in.

The pub was decked out in Christmas attire. I know I’m a miserable sod and it’s different for pubs as they ave to appeal to the party goers but it’s still November. Mind you, Heart 80’s played Ghostbusters last week and Halloween is years away. The madness of forcing feast days on us early is spreading.

I had Eggs Benedict which was divine and quickly demolished. I say quickly, it didn’t start well. I must have had the bluntest knife in the place, only to realise it was upside down. To be fair I wasn’t very awake and not paying attention but it felt like payback for chuckling at the Rishi Sunak trying to use a hammer video a couple of days earlier. It was an enjoyable visit. Even a lass smiled at me twice as she passed. Yes I could have gone to the shop by my house for bread which would have been quicker and cheaper but where’s the fun in that? (P.s I’ve just had the sausage sandwich prior to typing this and it was bloody lush).

I went to ASDA. The good news is Mr Rustler had made a delivery so no empty fridge shelved this week. The bad news was the self service till being in an arsey and impatient mood, causing me to sigh repeatedly and thinking of the days when I’d be in the pub this time before a home match.

I went to the match. At half time we noticed that the vending machine had a precariously dangling pack of Rolo’s. We though of buying a pack of Quavers from above to dislodge them but regular readers of this blog will know of the frustration of trying to buy said snack product from said machine, dating back to last season. Yet again it came up as product disabled so that was out. Andy gave the machine a nudge and they fell. It was to prove to be the best attacking move by someone in a Walsall shirt all afternoon. He presented me with the whole pack. Now my previously relationships have not lasted long enough for me and the lass to reach the crucial “would you give them your last Rolo?” stage so to be given a whole pack was really good.

The match was shit and pretty dull. We have an impressive record of losing to teams at the bottom of the league so at least we broke that run with the uninspiring draw but there wasn’t much to get excited about. After the game Andy bought me a pint. A pack of Rolo’s and a pint off him? He got my vote for Man Of The Match.

I ventured out as I was meeting Woza because we were off to tick off a pub in Solihull. He was in the long line of football traffic so I stod on the corner of Wallows Lane and Bescot Crescent to wait. Yep, I was loitering on a street corner just down the road from Walsall’s famous red light district. I hadn’t been there long but a car pulled up. I know not what Woza drives, and it was dark inside so I approached tentatively, crouched down and looked in. It was Woza so I dived in but the bloke in the car behind must have thought he’d seen a live prostitute pick up.

The pub in Solihull was good but I’ll report on that another day. We headed back to Rushall so Woza could park up and get on the beers. First up was The Labour Club, a place I’ve never been in but I should have been on stage at this coming Friday as the fundraising team at work had organised a Trust’s Got Talent night. I’d been entered by my wonderful colleague Carole and was to perform the Jermaine Stewart classic “We Don’t Have To Take Our Clothes off”, but it got cancelled before I could publicise it. It will be rearranged though and I’m still practising and drinking the cherry wine.

We headed to The Manor Arms, passing the big McDonalds which sits on the site of a former pub The George & Dragon. One of my earliest memories was from outside that pub when I was stung by a wasp and I screamed the place down. Even as a little boy I didn’t turn down the chance to be very dramatic about the slightest of things.

In The Manor we talked Bond themes, as on Thursday I woke up somewhat hungover and had a lie in due to being off work. On Absollute Radio at about 10.30 they do a trivia question and this time it was “Which Bond theme song was recorded by Chris Cornell?” I’m quite good at Bond themes and said Quantum Of Solace and lay there waiting for the point to arrive. Except it didn’t. I’d got it wrong. It was Casino Royale. I asked Woza this and he said the same as me. Turns out the song for our choice as by Jack White and Alicia Keys which I didn’t even know was a thing. We then discussed over themes with me making references to the early Lucas/Walliams show Rock Profile where they play Shirley Bassey and Tom Jones where she is trying to claim other themes as hers and saying all the other Bond performers “don’t have the range”.

In The Boathouse there was a Ellie Goulding tribute act on. Woza doesn’t know any of her songs so on Wednesday I’d set him some homework which was to research some of her hits. “Did you do your homework?” I asked en route. “Did I fuck” he replied. I couldn’t say anything, at school I had a very casual approach to homework and I stil wonder why my GCSE results sheet contains enough E’s to make a drug addict jealous.

It was meant to be £5 in but due to the tickets not arriving in time it was made free. I can cope with that. Like any live music event I had a shopping list of songs I wanted to hear. This time it was “Burn”, “Love Me Like You Do” and “The Writer”. I’m always wary of tribute acts after heading back from a defeat at Scunthorpe a few years back which effectively secured our relegation but with a Shania Twain tribute on in The Wharf to look forward to. Only she didn’t do Shania’s best song “You’re Still The One”. Actual artists know the crowd pleasers, tributes not always. Would a Michael Jackson tribute not do “Dirty Diana” or “Leave Me Alone”? Would a Sophie B Hawkins one disregard her best song “Right Beside You”? (Sorry Craig, you know it’s true).

The singer was really good and she did Burn and Love Me Like You Do, both of which I joined in with enthusiastically. So from my shopping list it was a case of 2 out of 3 aint bad. Hang on, it wasn’t a Meatloaf night. Set one was all Ellie Goulding and set 2 was to be a mix up of songs which started with Kate Bush. I said to Woza “shall we go for curry? I came here for Ellie not Kate”. “But did you come here for bush?” he replied. “I always come for bush”.

We hit the curry house. Long time Rushall Balti but recently renamed Bollywood Tadka. It was warm and welcoming. The chicken tikka was the cheapest starter by a good margin so we both had that. For main I had butter chicken and butter naan. While Meghan Trainer is All About That Bass, I’m all about that butter. I know chips in a curry house is frowned upon in some quarters and I didn’t order the ones we had but I certainly helped polish them off.

The service was good and the food was excellent. Would definately reccomend. It’s licencend too as the pints of Cobra will testify. It came to just over £50 for our two meals.

The owner called me a taxi and I was home in no time. To make up for The Boathouse missing song I listened to The Writer on You Tube. Walking upstairs with Ellie Goulding, what a way to end an excellent day.