UK Golden Fried Chicken & Pizza, 24 Bradford Street, Walsall.

This was the Kebab Ranch for years, then Zi’s Kebab for a little while and now in another guise. It reopened with this name the week before Easter. I originally reviewed jt on Maundy Thursday but I failed to make any notes that time. “Why?” I hear you ask. Was I too excited about the 4 day weekend? Feasible. Was I looking forward to Lent being over so I could start eating Avocado again? No. In truth I was too busy admiring a fellow customer’s spotless and glistening white trainers.

This review came after work in early June. I wanted something light as I was going to the gym afterwards so had the 3 piece chicken meal but I didn’t want the drink so he knocked 80p off bringing the total down to £5.

There was no music which suited me. The food came quickly and I sat at a table looking out onto what was Harley’s nightclub and went through numerous good memories of the place.

Food was good and as it’s on the way home from work I may pop in again. Especially as KFC in ASDA has apparently now closed. Jesus, I only stopped going in for a few months. I must stop boycotting places. It never ends well.

Chicken Palace Royale, 83 Stafford Street, Walsall.

Former chip shop opposite Rock Steady Eddie’s. It closed for a while but now reopened with a new name and lay out. The counter has moved from the back to the right and seating is now available. I know this doesn’t sound like me but I wasn’t that hungry and I wasn’t drinking much on the evening so didn’t need to line the stomach.

There is offers on the window and the £1.99 chicken burger and fries leapt out. That’ll do. I like it when I know what I’m ordering as I walk in. I was served straight away and handed over a £2 coin and stood there waiting for my penny change. Which turned out to not be coming. Ok it’s only a penny but I collected my small change in a big tub and then take it to Santander in Birmingham where a machine counts it for free instead of charging 10p in the pound like ones in supermarkets do. Anyway I digress if you are charging £2 just bloody put £2. I honestly don’t think you’ll lose any custom.

There was no music again which suited me. The food came quickly and it was really good. I wasn’t expecting gourmet for £1.99 (sorry £2) but this did the job. As it’s local to several good drinking holes, I shall no doubt be back but I’ll be taking £1.99 in exact change.

Papa John’s, 138 Lichfield Street, Walsall.

I’m usually busy on Monday evenings, so things have to make way. Like cooking. On this pleasant Monday in June I was needed at Katz so there was no point going home so I decided pizza was in order.

I’ve never been in Papa John’s despite it being here for years (many more than I thought, it was there in 2011 according to Google Streetview). I’d never even set foot in the building before, it was some kind of financial institute previously (cheers Chris for the help with this research). I actually thought it was a public bank before. Needless to say I was now ready to make a withdrawal.

I strolled in and perused the menu and then the nice lady said the magic words “special offers” so I went over but they were the same that I’d seen in the window.

Now this is where you all tut and shake your heads. I’m sorry to announce but I think my days of eating medium size pizzas are over I really don’t eat like I used to. I went for the small sausage and pepperoni pizza. On the menu it also listed tandoori chicken wings as “new”. It’s not often I’m on board with new stuff so I dived on them.

I grabbed a seat by the window and looked out at the Town Hall and started pondering how I will decorate it when I become Mayor. No doubt lots pf white paint and pictures of me. Like my house.

The food came quickly and as I walked back to my stool the sun came out from behind the Town Hall tower, illuminating me and making me feel like I was back on stage. I should have started singing “There Is Nothing Like A Dame” to really embrace the moment.

There was no music playing but as I sat down they started furiously scrubbing the Kitchen floor, the sound of which was actually quite relaxing. Food was good, maybe one more chicken wing wouldn’t have hurt for the £6.99 cost and the pizza could have had another sprinkle of toppings but I was getting it at the offer price so wasn’t expecting much. Good visit this.

Oodles, 44 High Street, Walsall.

It was Tuesday this week. Also payday which meant I was duty bound by law to go out and spend money. I had oodles of time on my hands before heading to Walsall Arms to watch England v Slovenia so I headed here.

This place opened last year in the new builds up the market. I remember opening day and they were giving 50% off so I’d gone along. Unfortunately word had got round and it’s fair to say that Walsall town centre hasn’t seen queues like on that day since Rocky IV opened at the ABC cinema. I went to the Black Country Arms, grabbed a pint and sat in a window where I could monitor the situation. I gave up 45 minutes before the offer closed as the queue was still massive. So I grabbed another pint along with a cheese, onion and black pudding cob.

So after not ticking it off on opening day, it was nice to finally pop in. You pick from 3 sizes of box (medium in this case) two bases and two toppings one dry and one sauce. My sauce was bbq chicken and dry was crispy prawns. The prawns incurred an addition cost of £1.95, which was advised on the menu. In the window I’d seen a poster for chlli cod (advertised as being so-fish-ticated) so asked if that was a starter only to find out that it was a topping so I swapped the bbq chicken for this. This also incurred an additional cost of £1.95 but this wasn’t pointed out although I quickly figured it out when she asked for the money.

Upon asking for the chilli cod the lady did point out “it will be spicy” which I confirmed I was fine with. She did seem surprised though when I turned down a drink. I reckoned that there would be plenty of time for liquid later.

The chairs are either black or white. You know my favourite colour so I’m not going to waste any of your Sunday by pointing out my choice in this respect. The food me quickly and it was good. Prawns were ace which is standard and the chilli cod was great. I would say I coped with the spice but my nose waved a white flag and began to run a little. Good visit this and that first pint of Thatcher’s Cloudy Lemon Cider went down a storm afterwards.

Mehman, 51 Mount Street, Walsall.

For decades this was a newsagents, it closed for a while then recently Josh was driving me from my house to his and we passed it and I noticed it was now a food place. It was probably my most dramatic bit of rubber necking as I tried to check it out. It needed further investigating.

Wednesday this week, it was far too hot to cook yeah? It seemed like the perfect day to visit. It also meant a nice leisurely post work stroll in the Sun. There was entertainment en route. As I got to the the Wednesbury Road zebra crossing a bus stopped to let me cross. The driver of the car behind was clearly nonplussed as he pulled up alongside the bus to offer the driver some good-natured abuse. “Fucking arsehole” was my favourite of the comments.

I got to the place and there are menus in the window which I perused before heading inside. It is billed as a Cafe & Biryani Take but I wasn’t feeling curry. They also do chicken and burgers but I hit the starter menu. I went for fish pakora (£1.99), chicken pakora (£1.99) and a chicken samosa (£1). I’m no Rachel Riley and useless at Maths but I quickly worked out the total at £4.98. I handed over a used fiver and yes, I got my 2p change.

The food took a little while to come out but at least I knew it was being cooked fresh. I studied the menu again. The slogan on the front says “Taste Like Home”. Unfortunately I’ve never made these at home so cannot make the comparison.

There was no music so I sang the Lene Marlin song “Where I’m Headed” to myself. This one has surged from absolutely nowhere to become my most played song of the week.

The food came and I got more than I thought I would for the price I’d paid. They even provided a plate of salad and sauce sachets. The food was good. I muttered “I enjoyed that” as I put my fork down. Verdict? Mehman certainly isn’t meh, man. I will be going back. It’s nice to think that Mount Street is now offering something else to get visitors flocking to it other than prostitutes.