Domino’s Pizza, 180 Stafford Street, Walsall.

Recently opened new branch this. To replace I assume the now closed one on Lichfield Street. The car parking outside this new one may have been a factor in the move. I love Domino’s but never really have it. This place used to be a Kwik-Fit car garage then a carpet shop before changing to its current use. I’m guessing my Doctor and Bank Manager are both pleased that it wasn’t a Domino’s when I was living around the corner on Lewis Street.

I’d announced at work that I was going here and Tom my Vegan colleague recommended the Chicken Kickers. I did query this but he pointed out that he hasn’t had them since converting.

I had an issue straight away. The in-store menus don’t list what toppings are on the pizzas. I find that most pizzas have at least 1 thing on that I don’t want. For example the Mighty Meaty has onion and mushrooms on it. It’s not called the Mighty Meaty With Added Shit is it?

Anyway, I had to access the menu on my phone but first I had to put my post code in, then pick between collection or delivery, pick a store and then my God I could look at the pizzas. You had to click on each one though to view the toppings. It was a ball ache. I’ve never known choosing food to be so arduous. Had to dock points for this especially as when a pop up came and when I cleared it it took me back to the choose store screen.

I started to think ‘bloody hell, I’ve got work tomorrow’, and I made a pact at that point to just have the next thing that didn’t have any crap on it. This turned out to be the Ranch BBQ. Chicken breast strips, pepperoni, smoked bacon, ground beef, bbq sauce and Mozzarella. Medium and as I’d never had stuffed crust that was chosen too along with the aforementioned Chicken Kickers.

I was asked my name upon ordering which threw me. Never had this before. I know it happens in Starbucks but I don’t frequent those. So I said my name twice, pronouncing it correctly and also spelling it out Mikee for added clarity.

The lad behind me was also caught out by this. He had to be asked his name 3 times before saying “Robert” tentatively in an unconvincing tone.

My food came quickly and when he announced it he called me Micky which I hate so I had to dock more points for that. It could have been worse I guess. If he’d called me Michael I’d have been over the counter and having the place up.

Anyway the pizza was good, stuffed crust epic and the initial plan to save a couple of slices for work the next day went completely out of the window. Chicken Kickers really good too.

Just before I departed a female customer came in and the first question she asked was “what size is the medium pizza?” I knew what she meant. She was clearly thinking about inches but still, it took every sinew of my resolve not to shout “medium” at her.

Decent visit in the end though.

UFC Shawarma, Park Street Arcade, Walsall.

This place opened recently. I had been meaning to tick it off just not on this occasion. I left my house with a plan A for food which failed. Hastily thought of plans B & C also didn’t happen so I was ready to eat anything by the time I arrived here. I hadn’t visited so many eateries in such a short amount of time since the joyous days of Eat Out To Help Out.

Anyway I get to the bus station somewhat ravenous and malnourished to find the passageway to Park Street absolutely teaming with Police. I had no idea what had gone on. An elderly couple in front of me asked if they could go though and one copper said yes. I asked the same one if I could go in the takeaway and was ignored, so I took that as a yes. To be fair after all the steps I’d unexpectedly put in, wild horses were not stopping me going in.

I strolled in and opted for the fish burger to be told they hadn’t got any and were waiting for them to be delivered. I know some carriers like to deliver just as the staff are about to go home so I wasn’t waiting for that. The fish fingers caught my eye but as they were on the kids menu I thought better of it. I went Lamb Shawarma with fries. The man put peri peri salt on the fries which made them really good.

There was music, don’t ask what. I’ve no idea what any of it was. Food was good and it seemed like a few people were popping in.

Lee Garden, 131 Weston Street, Walsall.

It was the last Sunday of July, a glorious day and in my opinion far too hot to cook. Although if the temperature was absolute zero I’d probably still say it was too hot to cook and venture out. I fancied a stroll in the Sun as my intake of Vitamin D via this medium has been lacking of late so off on an amble to Weston Street I went.

My colleague Carole and I had been talking about when this was a legendary chip shop back in the 80’s and what a sad loss it was. I have used this as a Chinese but not since both The Fullbrook and White Lion closed as I no longer walk back that way from the match.

I walked in and perused the menu on the wall. This was purely academic and to keep the lad behind the counter interested. I knew what I wanted. Sweet and Sour Prawn Balls. I have gone mad for these of late and wanted to see if they are as good as the ones from Lucky Star next to Katz.

I went up the counter, which still had a plastic screen proud and erect on it, which brought a nice feel of 2020 to the proceedings. I crouched down to find the gap at the bottom and proceeded to say “king prawn….” I was getting my order wrong. My default setting of king prawn fried rice was trying to do a manual override. I stopped, apologised and tried again. Got it right. One of these days I will get confident and good at talking to people but maybe not in this life.

Options for entertainment during the cooking time were restricted to a television showing Andy Murray and Dan Evans playing tennis, or a near two week old copy of The Sun. I opted to make notes. I glanced up shortly afterwards, Evans and Murray were celebrating. I hadn’t realised match point was imminent. Me missing something important during sport? Never.

The food came just as I put my phone away which disappointed me as I did want to check my horoscope to see if that days predictions had come true. They probably hadn’t. It usually stuff like “single? You’ll find love linked to number 47 and have a cracking shag” and it’s always bollocks.

It’s cash only at this place and the sweet and sour prawn balls are £6.60. They were good and needless to say I dropped a small amount of the red sauce down me. I was pleased that I’d taken my white t-shirt off before proceeding. Alright ladies, calm down. It’s not a Diet Coke break.

Good visit this. Wish it was still that chip shop though.

The Farmers Boy, Barns Lane, Rushall.

Josh has me round his house for food all the time. Seriously I’d be thinner than Posh Spice if it wasn’t for him. Yes, feel free to shout “oh no you wouldn’t.” So I offered to take him out for dinner to this place and as he’s never been in before he quickly agreed.

We arrived just as delegates for some kind of scooter rally were also rocking up so we dashed in to try and beat the queue. The menu was extensive and covered a lot of bases but I’d had the Chip Shop Platter on my previous visit so was always heading back to there. Josh opted for Ribs And Wings. I offered a starter of wings to share, completely oblivious to the fact that Josh was having wings with his Ribs And Wings. Definitely a clue there if I’d known where to look.

I glanced and offered Chicken Goujons which Josh was happy with. I was far too excited to read the blurb underneath this entry. More on that later. Service was quick and I think the bill came to £38 for the starter, 2 platters and 2 pints of Inch’s. Very decent.

Don’t ask what the music was. I honestly don’t remember. We were busy nattering and generally talking bollocks which is what we do best. Genuinely the only music memory of I have of the night is from The Walsall Arms where Josh randomly showed me the Wham Club Tropicana video, as it’s a fave of his from when he was a kid and I’d not seen it.

The goujons came quickly and were good. I dipped first in the white sauce which was nice. Josh went red and reported that it had a bit of a kick to it. I don’t mind spice so waded in. He was not being dramatic. God it was. I checked the menu and the sauce is Carolina Reaper which I have learnt from social media posts is a bit warm. Naturally I had two more dips to look hard.

The mains came out and Josh absolutely demolished his. I’d called him Charlie Bucket earlier in the day as he was going to Cadbury World again and now he was wolfing his food down like said character does in the film with that Wonka Bar he buys with the money he finds.

My Chip Shop Platter was ace. Fish (this was mossiv. “You’re going to need a bigger boat” kind of size), scampi and a fishcake. Epic stuff. We both enjoyed our food, company was excellent and having Inch’s on tap just added to the goodness. “Happy days” to use one of Josh’s sayings.

The Farmers Boy will soon become a man if he continues to eat here.

Piri Fino, 2 Gallery Square, Walsall.

I like this place, not gonna lie but haven’t been since before Covid so was well overdue another visit. I met Swill in The Met then we strolled around the canal basin and in.

The waitress went through the list of drinks and we opted for Cobra. “Regular or large?” I think the question caught Swill off guard and he hesitated before opting for large. I mean come on, who in Walsall is asking for a regular Cobra?I also asked for a large one and we were both puzzled shortly afterwards when we were served large colas. We glanced at each other and I could tell he was thinking do I let this go, as I was. Thankfully after another hesitation he queried this and soon we had booze. I know the glasses were only on our table for a minute or so but a quick photograph by an onlooker and my reputation could have been in tatters.

I opted for 1/2 chicken medium strength and Swill went for a burger with the same level of spice and the food came quickly and it was epic. Swill said his burger was moist with the right level of spice and his peri peri chips were absolutely delicious.

Music was modern and I knew a couple of them but most I didn’t know. I’d have bombed if Craig was doing one of his artist and title quizzes.

Nice place this, with the canal right up to the window, food is good and reasonably priced (think it was £16 for my chicken, garlic bread side and Cobra). I need to go more.

Apologies for any typos in this. My head is still fuzzy from Mase and Beth’s bbq last night.Thanks for reading folks. I’m knocking the blog on the head for a month or 2 now so enjoy the rest of your Summer.