Last Friday didn’t start well. The plan was to take clothes to work so I could get changed there and head straight out. It was pissing down. I wasn’t carrying a shirt on a coat hanger in the rain. Plan b was quickly concocted. I’d taxi home after work and get changed here. What could go wrong? Like most things in my life, everything. More on that later.

I’d ironed my shirt the night before and I know you’re always interested in my choice of music whilst doing this. I opted for Janie’s Got A Gun by Aerosmith. There is a backstory. I’d being playing this song a lot of late then one day on my eharmony (dating website) feed a lady with that name appeared. I messaged, but didn’t ask if she’d got a gun. I was going to casually raise this on the first date. She didn’t reply so I’ll never know if she’s got one or not.

I digress. For plan b to work I just needed some pounds for the taxi fare. I got to work and the cash machine was out of order. Marvellous. The day was in ruins and it wasn’t yet 07.30. I know you’re all now shouting “Uber” but I aint got shit like that on my phone. This is me we are on about. However during the morning discussions I got confirmed that the shop on Ida Road has a cash machine, so a quick dash at dinner times and the plans were back on. I even rewarded myself on a successful mission with a sausage roll. More on Ida Road soon, possibly even in the next paragraph.

I don’t get taxis home often and when I do I don’t like to keep them waiting. My department is right at the back of the Manor Hospital so I order when I’m halfway towards the main entrance. This time though I had the best idea ever. Why don’t I ask the taxi to come to the back of the hospital and pick me up on Ida Road? I can order the taxi straight away and this will save me lots of time.

I ordered the taxi, re-iterated twice I was at the 2nd Ida Road gate and waited. And waited. Eventually I get a call. He was at the front entrance and couldn’t quite get that I was at the other end. Eventually he asks “are you going to walk through” but before I could say “George, it would be quicker for you to drive round” he hung up on me.

I waited and waited then I get another call, this time from the first man. I explained again where I was and eventually my taxi came. I didn’t know this but there was a small closure on Ida Road so we had to go down three speed bump filled streets before reappearing back on Ida Road just down from where he had picked me up. Finally, 29 minutes after I finished work, my taxi crossed Pleck Road (main road outside the hospital). I’d have been nearly home had I walked.

No further hitches occurred and I was back in town and heading for the railway station in no time. It was Sean’s birthday celebrations (part 1) and I was meeting him and Sammy and some others in Birmingham. It all went well in the end and my train pulled in just as Sean’s taxi was arriving. He asked me to wait outside the Wetherspoons at the station, knowing full well I approve of pubs as geographical reference points.

Sean arrived, coming in through an entrance I didn’t know about and announcing that he’d run up the steps like Rocky Balboa. I said that I probably wouldn’t be doing the same later. First up was Sunflower Lounge on nearby Smallbrook Queensway. Never heard of this place so it was nice to get a new tick. I greeted Sammy and was introduced to Zoey, Drew, Clare and Connor. Turned out that I’d been introduced to Zoey and Drew at Sean’s bands recent gig at The Watering Trough, but I was somewhat drunk when that happened and this was referenced by Zoey and Sammy which made me laugh. I vaguely remembered meeting people at that juncture but Sammy could have introduced me to Patsy Kensit that night and it probably wouldn’t have registered.

Sean tried to take a group selfie but a passing lady stopped and offered to take it. Noticing his birthday badge she commented that it was her birthday on the Sunday which Sean then remarked was also his. She loved this, took the picture then rushed to buy Sean a birthday shot. Impressive 5 minute cameo from the lass. I made a mental note to try and find her ahead of my 51st birthday next year.

Inspired by Sean’s shot, Zoey leapt up and bought us all a Fireball. It was 19.09. I thought the night might get messy but wasn’t expecting shots this early. It was good though.

We headed to Ming Moon where we had a karaoke booth booked. The all you can eat buffet was on the main floor and we went down a spiral staircase and then another stairway to the booth. I’m no Carol Vorderman but I did a quick sum. Alcohol in system + stairs + carrying a plate of food = potential carnage.

I was sat by the order drinks button which really wasn’t a good idea. It could have been worse though. Sean could have been by the order drinks button. The lights went down, the volume went up and we were good to go.

We got drinks, sang a couple of songs then it was enter stage right – me. My song of the year is Nothing Matters by The Last Dinner Party so I thought I’d do that. I really don’t have the posh English accent like the lady who sings it normally but I think I gave it a good go, putting some real emphasis on the chorus.

We grabbed food, obviously I dived on king prawns and various chicken things but then came the highlight. Pork belly. There were some other words but God knows what they were. They’d grabbed my attention with the first two. Going down that spiral staircase with a full plate felt a bit like being on It’s A Knockout but it was well worth it when completing the descent. Food was epic.

Drew went to sing Backstreet Boys I Want It That Way. Everybody (Backstreet’s Back) by them is my absolute karaoke song. I nail it, then just when everyone is loving it I up the nailing. I mentioned this and was handed a microphone. First time I’ve done karaoke sitting down but it was a great duet.

More singing and good times followed. Zoey got up to sing I Guess That’s Why The Call It The Blues and I shouted “great song” and was handed a mic. I’ve got to be honest, upon arrival I didn’t expect to be dueting on Elton John with a lovely lady but it was a great performance from us both and I really enjoyed it. Another duet in the form of me and Sean doing The Smiths This Charming Man occurred. I had no flowers to swing around but did the motions anyway, which felt good but probably not as pleasing to watch as Mozza doing it properly.

My last turn was Always by Blink 182. A song I’ve always wanted to perform but wasn’t sure how it would work. I did comment halfway through that it was harder to sing on karaoke than when washing up. Good to to practice it with just 6 people watching rather than a baying audience like you get in a pub. Not sure how women in pubs of Walsall would cope with me singing “come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you always, Kiss you, taste you all night, always.” I guess we’ll find out soon.

Performance of the night came from Drew singing Rap God by Eminem. I didn’t know this one but he belted it out and how he found time to breathe I’ll never know.

Our time slot ended at 10.45, there were photos then goodbyes. Clare and Connor were getting the same train as me and they hoped I knew where New Street was, just as I was hoping they did. Sean said it was a straight road and he was bang on. I didn’t run up the steps like Rocky Balboa.

There were 20 minutes before the trains departure and old me would have dived into Wetherspoons for a quick one but I only drink responsibly these days.

Back in Walsall I jumped into a taxi outside the station. He clearly wasn’t happy with his fare and instead of going straight up Caldmore Road like my taxi earlier, he must have clocked how much I love this town and took me on a nice sight seeing tour including the back of ASDA car park, St Matts Church, Lyndon House, Flans and Trough et al. Had it been 10 minutes earlier when the Walsall Arms doors were still open, I’d have cut short his shenanigans and asked to be dropped by The Royal Hotel and darted up there.

What a great night Sean. Thanks for the invite. It’s got me thinking. I’ve not had a birthday bash outside of Walsall since the legendary Rugeley night in 2015. I may have to let the train take the strain next year.