About a month ago my mate Gareth from Newport (the Welsh one) arranged a visit to Walsall. I hadn’t seen him for a couple of years so was well up for the meet which we scheduled for last Saturday after the Walsall v Gillingham match. Because we are so damn good at the moment we had a few international call ups so the match was called off which mean I could meet up earlier.

There was the added bonus of Gareth bringing his new lady Tina who I’d not met before. My first interaction with Tina was the Monday before on a video call, except because I’m an old man I didn’t initially realise it was a video call and put the phone to the side of my head. Only when Gareth said “what am I looking at?” that I realised. It’s a good job I keep my ears scrupulously clear of hairs.

On the morning I started with breakfast at The Walsall Arms. I don’t want to say I was gagging for this but I was already outside when the door opened at 10. It was served quickly and as I started to tuck in, Jodi appeared behind the bar brandishing a remote control and asking if there was anything I wanted to watch. I immediately thought that I need to finish watching series 2 of True Blood but this may not have been suitable viewing for the two children in the vicinity plus I had neither the time nor the budget for sitting in there for 8 hours watching the antics of Sookie Stackhouse so I just said “anything is fine.”

Breakfast was bang on again, Wayne the chef just nails it. He gets the bacon right every time. I can cook a mean English breakfast but never get the bacon right. I asked Jodi if Wayne, her husband is available to do home visit bacon cooking. There could be a money making app in this.

Back home and today’s shirt ironing song was Do You Know? by Enrique. I’m not just about the cook Indie music. I genuinely love this song and the line “do you know how it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?” always reminds me of my last job at Cardboard Boxes 2 Go. In my current job at The Manor Hospital I generally arrive 20 minutes before I start but at the last place I’d always be rocking up with just a minute or so to spare to clock in. One day I couldn’t get in and I was the only person that they hadn’t told that the combination on the front door had changed. I eventually got in but I should have gone home on full pay.

The weather was absolute poo so upon departing I gave a debut to the coat Asps gave me for my birthday. I should have got a picture of me in it for your delectation but I was too excited. Anyway we were meeting up in The Registry and I strolled up to the bar. Someone came up alongside me and asked “are you going to the match?” I had a split second moment of panic. Had I got the date wrong? I said “no, it’s off today.” “Because of the rain?” “No, international call ups.” “Oh, of course yeah I forgot.” Phew.

Gareth and Tina were already in so I found them and we were quickly joined by Swill as well. He was sporting an umbrella so I immediately opened a sweepstake as to when he would lose this as he is renowned for getting through umbrellas. Sadly for Swill homing umbrellas aren’t a thing yet.

The conversation opened and within minutes Swill had steered us onto poo anecdotes. One of his favourite topics. Much hilarity ensued.

We were soon joined by Dan (Morty) and after a short while we headed to The Tap & Tanner. My round and I got served quickly. I asked around and Gareth and Tina both wanted Inch’s so naturally I had a smirk on my face when asking the barmaid for 2 Inch’s. Swill chipped in “Evo likes 2 inches.” The round came to £24 which I was shocked at. Normally I let things slide but for once I queried. She’d charged me for an additional Amstel so knocked £4 off which made me happy. I also had a £2 ham and salad cob, commenting that the salad was putting me off. “Oh it’s easy to get rid of it, it’s not touching the meat”. I’m easily confused and this did me. Turned out it was wrapped separately at the top which surprised me when unwrapping but the ham was good.

Discussions in here included would you do….for£xx? type questions. Turns out I have a low threshold for this kind of thing. I’m a poor man, generally always short of cash so I’d do most things for cash, legally of course. The other discussion was where o go next. Swill said “we could go next door, it’s like a Wetherspoons.” “Like a Wetherspoons?” queried Gareth “so it’s a Wetherspoons?” “Er yeah.”None of us have an issue with Wetherspoons so off to St Matthews Hall it was.

We sat in the Library section. I noted the Managers Special leaflet on the table which was offering Maple Bacon Salad, as it had been on the Monday when I was in for the Friends Of Highgate Brewery monthly meet up. Walsall is clearly not a hotbad of salad as I’ demonstrated in The Tap. If Wayne from the Walsall Arms had been cooking the bacon they might have shifted a few more bowls of it.

It was soon decision time again. Stay for one more or head to Katz. Discussions didn’t really solve it so I proposed a secret ballot. We all covered our eyes and raised our hands to which option we preferred. Obviously as it was done in secret we had no idea of the result so we just headed to Katz.

En route we mentioned The Hippo to Tina, and as it was her first visit to Walsall she had to be introduced. I explained when it was unveiled and where it used to be and how back in the day it was were you’d meet your mates. Like most Walsall folks though I couldn’t answer the question “why have you got a concrete hippo?”

We made it to Katz, there was a band on so we sat outside as the bar area was full. I noticed Swill still had his umbrella. It had made it to pub number 4. Surely a personal best. We were joined by Goughy and Harriet along with Whelan and Beth. Morty was the first to disappear, followed shortly afterwards by Gareth and Tine who were staying at The Lyndon but Gareth needed a Wishbone takeaway like he used to when he lived up here.

I lasted until about 10. To look cool I said I was going to Walsall Arms to break up the joourney home but in truth I’d had enough to drink and just went home.

Great day with top company. Swill’s umbrella didn’t make it home.