First job last Sunday was to see if my fence had survived the overnight 45mph winds from Storm Bert. Must be the 50 year old in me that as first thing in the morning I’m checking if my wood is still erect.

T-shirt ironing song on this occasion was The Zutons Why Won’t You Give Me Your Love? No explanation needed other than it is magnificent.

The number 10 bus was 15 minutes late and then went on a diversion throuigh Coalpool but soon I was in Shelfield ready to meet Chris and James. We’d arranged this sup up a month earlier and I’d duly booked the Monday off work but then numerous events conspired and I had to cancel that day. I asked, then pleaded with Chris for a much earlier start so I’d be home in good time to sleep the booze off and a reduction in the number of venues. Well, I got the early start and at 12.25 I was walking into The Four Crosses.

Chris and James were already there having also had a diversion to their walk when they discovered Harden Road flooded and they had to take an alternative route. Chris was quick to point out the first controversy of the day. His pack of Walkers Ready Salted crisps were out of a multi pack and not to be sold individually. I said pubs should sell complete multi packs. Imagine that, being able to buy a pack of 6 bags of Beef Space Raiders to go with your booze. This would boost the nighttime economy I tell thee.

Next up was St Francis Club. I thought I’d been in most of the licensed premesis in the borough pf Walsall but had no prior knowledge of this until Chris sent his route over in the week. Chris went in first and gave me the choice of doors left or right. I cracked my usual tedious jibe of never getting to go left on a plane so go that way. He stuch his head in and retreated. “There’s a party going on in there” so we went right.

James commented that the 3 pints and pack of scratchings came to £16. Fair play to Chris as he went up the bar and queried it. Turns out it is cheaper beer for members which is fair enough.

I had a ham cob which was priced at £1.55 and was ace. Chris commented afterwards that the blue bag it came in “looked like a dog poo bag.” He has such a way with words. I;m glad he told me this after I’d eaten though. It did get me thinking though, instead of hanging bags of shit on trees like some folk do, but instead hung ham cobs wouldn’t the world be a better place?

It was busy in our room but Chris mentioned that the other one was full of women. “So what are we doing in here?” I asked. We also talked crisps. It’s one of Chris’s favourite subjects. Although it was far too early to be festive as it was still mid November I did enthuse about the possibility of the Golden Wonder turkey and stuffing flavour that used to come out at Christmas coming back this year. I then told the anecdote about at a Northern January away game (I forget where) they were selling off cheap said crisps in the pub pre match. I had a pack then but after the game had the whole stock which was commented on heartily in the minibus. I think they lasted until March.

After a short while Chris announced the 2 minutes warning as he does ahead of every departure time. I asked for toilet directions and was provided with them. “How about if I take a wrong turn, end up in the room full of women and they make me stay?” I asked. “You never know” Chris replied “they might be waiting for a stripogram”. God imagine that. Actually don’t. I wouldn’t want to put that image in your head before breakfast of a Sunday morning. If I had done it though it would have put everyone heading to the buffet off the cocktail sausages. I didn’t take the wrong turn.

We walked to Pelsall. Storm Bert was still with us but his wind had calmed down to just the 16mph. Pelsall Cricket Club was next and I hadn’t even got through the door and I was being greeted by Helen Baker, one of the finest of my fellow Walsall FC fans. There was a Christmas Fayre going on with an outside Bavarian Bar and reindeer had just arrived. It was such a shame that the weather was absolute poo with wind and rain. Absolutely not Cricket weather.

I’d not been in The Railway since the long standing former gaffer (Tom?) left. It has nice new furniture and has had a lick of paint. All I Want For Christmas Is You was playing as we entered. Good job I was still feeling festive from the Cricket Club.

Chris had been on about beef and onion crisps all day and asking if I’d like some. I’d commented that it was highly unlikely as they’d been discontinued in 1980 (actually 1988 James found out). He then produced a pack from Ireland. I commented that you can’t smuggle your own crisps into pubs and that I wanted nothing to do with it for fear of being barred from everywhere in the vicinity under the Pelsall Pub Crisp Watch. I relented eventually.

Conversation in here was random from Chris claiming that the disproportionate amount of the different coloured sweets in Opal Fruits (as he and I still call them) is a scam through to James telling of a colleague that counts his Scampi Fries as he says he gets different amounts which James says is impossible due to them being sold by weight. Chris wondered how many Bacon Fries you got in a pack and I immediately thought he’ll have done a count somewhere by the next meet up.

The Queens is definitely the me pub of Pelsall. As I took the initial picture I didn’t notice the group in the doorway and the nice lady asked why I’d taken it. I told a complete lie and said I forget where I’ve been due to the booze and I like to keep a record. I don’t know why I just don’t like people to know I’m blogging. I really need more readers of this yet I don’t tell folk about it because I’m a nob. Imagine “oh you’re writing about a Pelsall pub crawl? I’d love to read that.” No, none of that ever happens. Bloody shyness. It was busy inside and free chicken drumsticks were on the bar which was very welcome. Music was good too. I’m sure Belinda Carlisle featured which is always welcome..

I mentioned about The Retro Realm (new arcade by Wharf Bar in Walsall Town Centre) opening on 6th of December and that I probably couldn’t go that weekend. This sparked a chat about retro games and we all agree that Paperboy is just the best game ever. I hope they have it in there complete with the handle bars like the old days.

Old House At Home was busy with diners so we sat in that little section next to the door which I’ve not been in before and we ended up at The Fingerpost. There was a dog sat at the bar which I fussed but it didn’t even look at me. I’m used to being ignored by the ladies but not dogs. Discussion in here was of retro sweets and my odd comment that I always buy white Bon Bons as it’s my favourite colour even though I prefer the yellow ones.

The day was rounded off with a visit to The Little Chippy which I’ve always wanted to tick off. Chris didn’t want his gravy so I wa given it. I know gravy on fish is frowned upon in some quarters but it’s sooo good and this was an excellent visit. Good food, friendly staff. Very easy on the pocket too as Chris paid. Top man.

Chris ordered an Uber and we were soon back in Walsall. They tried to get me to join them in the Wetherspoons but I was being good and ventured home, getting the early night I wanted to sleep the booze off.

Absolutely class day. This was my last blow out for a while so I’m glad it was a good un. Lots of busy places, friendly bar staff and as is the usual with Chris, crisps. Cheers James and Chris for a great day.