During the recent Grimsby home match Sean Harris asked if fancied a day out in Loughborough the following Saturday. I was excited already. I think my response was “yeah yeah yeah mate yeah mate yeah”. I’ve done Loughborough twice before. Woza and I went on Boxing Day in 2015 when it was a late substitute for a trip up North which was cancelled due to flooding. This was on Pub 365 Challenge 2, and I returned on a solo mission in April 2018 on Pub 365 Challenge 3 to get more ticks, and to include it in the 12 former Football League towns to visit during that one.. The micro pub Needle & Pin eluded me on both of these visits. Third time lucky I hoped.

After this conversation I went on Facebook Dating and suddenly my feed was full of ladies from Loughborough. Our phones aren’t listening to us though right? I sent an ambitious like to one of them. She didn’t respond.

Onto Saturday then. My shirt ironing song this time was “I’m With You” by Avril Lavigne. Fair play to Avril. She’s waited patiently for 4 years to get a mention in my blog then gets one two editions running. I took a walk into town. The Sun was shining and I had my first view of the year of a load of Daffodils. Always an important day, as it’s a sign that Spring is coming.

I got to Jack & Ada’s, the best cafe in Walsall Town Centre. Rubbish on my part but I’ve not been in here in months. Possible last Summer. I was warmly greeted by Paul on the counter which is standard. I usually have the largest full English breakfast. My request for poached egg on brown bread toast surprised him. The conversation went along the lines of “what’s happened to the Mikee we know? You’re looking very trim though.” “Thank you.” “How much weight have you lost?” “I don’t know.” “Was it doctors orders?” “No, I wanted to find a lady.” “Have you?” “No.” “Well if I ever become a woman…” “I’ll book the op. I’ll change, you don’t have to.” Well if I can’t pull a lass I may as well pull a bloke that owns a cafe eh? I then asked for a sweetener in my mug of tea. Yes I’ve changed.

I was soon joined by Sean, Panda and Dan. Panda made a controversial outburst by claiming he doesn’t like Pork. He soon crumbled under cross examination, admitting that he does like sausages, ham, Frazzles and Pork scratchings. It’s good to have little food quirks though. Like me, I detest Cauliflower but love Cauliflower Cheese as long as there is no Cauliflower in it.

On the train there was much excitement on mine, and only my part as we pulled into Duddeston Station. I know I’m sad and have absolutely no life but I’ve been obsessed about the disused, overgrown platform at Duddeston since I was a kid. But now, It’s all been cleared. I was tempted to get off and have a mooch around to try and find out what’s happening (general consensus is it’s HS2 related) but with 2 more trains to get before I beer stayed put.

At New Street the up escalator wasn’t working again. I know train companies have to provide reliability stats but I’d be intrigued by the same for these. The league table of wank escalators must be (1) New Street Station, (2) Walsall Tesco. Feel free to fill in the other Champions League spots yourself.

On the train we discussed the passing through of Melton Mowbray and wondered if their product Pork Pie would be available in neighbouring Loughborough. I revealed hat I was going to do a Melton Mowbray pub crawl on St George’s Day in 2020 but it got cancelled due to Covid. Five years on and I still haven’t rescheduled it. Things don’t happen quickly in my life.

Panda made another shocking claim, this time that he doesn’t like Gin. I don’t usually need trigger warnings but I was starting to think of issuing him with a request for them. I warned him that he was now close to the 3 strikes and you’re out rule.

First port of call in Loughborough was White Hart, where we were meeting Ian and Jayne. This place had lit candles everywhere making it feel like I was in the Boyzone “Love Me For A Reason” video. I nearly walked to the bar singing “don’t love me for fun girl, let me be a Bond girl.” The barmaid was very friendly and called me darling twice which is always nice. We joined Ian and Jayne. They had booked a Travelodge. I commented that we could all crash in their room if we missed the last train. They seemed fine with this. I forgot to ask if breakfast was included in their room rate.

Decent pub this, friendly with good beer and there was even time for my first wrong turn of the day as I marched passed the toilet and nearly walked into the open door kitchen, which smelt amazing by the way. Fortunately nobody saw me and I did a quick u turn and found the loo.

We then had to walk through the town and there was a continental market on and some of the stalls looked very similar to the ones we have upon hosting these. I eyed the Turkish Delight stall warily as I had memories of paying £13 for a bag of the stuff last time we had this in our beloved town. The food stalls smelt divine. I was getting peckish already. Maybe poached egg on toast isn’t the best prep for a pub crawl. I’m not religious but I began to pray that the next pub did cobs.

Next up was Organ Grinder. I was last to get served of our group as I’d loitered outside taking pictures and playing Frogger with a bus. Ian tipped me off about pork pies. Good start. I ordered a pint and a cheese and onion cob. The barman advised of a meal deal and said “if you pay 10p more you get a bag of crisps.” Oh go on then. The chicken and stuffing pork pie did catch my eye though. The barman was friendly and I was very jealous of his cool red hair style.

I joined the others in the back room. The cob was ace and the serviette was the biggest I have eve seen. It could cover my mossiv cranium. The chicken and stuffing pork pie continued to eat away at me. I gave in and went back and bought half of one “for later.” Before departing we had a little explore and found some marvellous outdoor rooms. One called Ostler’s House, whilst small had furniture and one of those old style sinks that people now use to grown plants in. They clearly care about the history of the pub here and it’s good to see.

The tour moved onto Wheeltapper. This is a train themed pub. There is a wall of those colourful popular destination posters from a bygone age. I scanned but couldn’t see one for Walsall. I’ll design one and present it to them next time. The music was a bit strange. Like in a horror movie when bored kids break into a creepy old house and music emanates from an upstairs room. The barman was welcoming though and the beer was really good.

“We’ve got a brewery next.” Sean certainly knows how to get my attention. One I’d never heard of – Moonface. We walked in and there were 3 trays of nibbles which everyone was ignoring. Naturally it was left to me to ask the question. The man said they had been for a photo shoot next door but we could help ourselves. The cheese and crackers were epic. Not very corporate of me but I can’t remember what ale I had here. It was golden and good but I know not the name. Sorry Moonface. Their fault though for distracting me with food.

From there we went to The Mini Monocle. This was a cool music inspired venue. There was a drum kit set up which I wanted to dive on. Music ranged from The Pixies, Fun Lovin’ Criminals, Pulp with “Stand” by REM being my favourite. The passageway to the toilet is accessed through a proper old school red phone box door and there is an actual phone on the wall behind it to complete the look.

Conversation was epic in here. Beers had flowed and it started to get inappropriate. The good thing with this group is that there are no boundaries with the discussions and it’s always good.

The Tap & Clapper was next. “Hungry Like The Wolf” by Duran Duran was playing. I hoped for some “New Moon On Monday” while they were in the mood but it gave way to “7 Days” by Craig David. My sense of positioning went to shit in here as it wasn’t till I sat down that I noticed the big screen in my view was showing horse racing (no interest) and the one behind me was showing Wales v England in the Rugby which was going well. It was almost full time in the football and we knew Bradford were losing but then it said there was something like 15 minutes stoppage time. Dan put his phone on his leg and looked out for updates. All 6 of us are Walsall FC fans and we just sat there looking at the phone willing the minutes away. Bradford did lose which helps us, though we’re not really helping ourselves at the moment.

We moved on. Excitement was building. Was I finally going to tick off Needle & Pin? Third time lucky yeah? Well the short answer is yes. After getting a friendly Just Eat man to take a group photo we headed in. I love Thornbridge Brewery so was delighted to see their ale on, I grabbed a pint and headed upstairs. My God what a place. There was a record player with a huge selection of vinyl albums to be played. DJ Panda hit the wheel of Steel and selected a Fleetwood Mac lp which went down well. There were board games, I got a bit too excited at the suggestion of a game of Cards Against Humanity. The conversation was already going beyond the pale so probably best that this game didn’t happen.

Sean and Panda perused the vinyl like we used to do in Sundown Records. I was soon presented with the soundtrack album to the film Buster. I requested the Phil Collins classic “Two Hearts” off it and it was conveniently seated at track 1 on side A but that was turned down by everyone in the vicinity. Ian led the no campaign. I might put it on now while I type this. That’ll show em. Sort of. Fleetwood Mac were replaced by an early Beautiful South album and this was a great visit. Was it worth waiting for? Hell yeah. Am I going back? Deffo. Am I playing the whole Buster album? Fuck yeah.

We’d finished Sean’s route but there was still ample time before the train so we stopped in The Swan In The Rushes. I’m going to be totally honest, I don’t remember much about this one, other than Sean announcing that we were getting a taxi to a shop near the station which I had no issue with.

In the shop we grabbed supplies for the train with vastly differing requirements. Some went for bottled refreshment, I opted for a packet of Skips and a Bounty. I also bought a scratchcard for a giggle. Aint bought one in yonks. I used to have a thing on payday of having a little £5-£8 scratchcard binge but this was promptly abolished when I started at Cardboard Boxes 2 Go ans payday changed to a weekly basis.

Panda spotted my Bounty and commented that he doesn’t like coconut. This was his 3rd strike and should have meant he was out but it was too late in the day to start those kind of proceedings. To be fair at that juncture he could have said he didn’t like Nargis Kebabs and I wouldn’t have given a flying.

We ambled to the station. Dan came out with a brillliant line en route but it had dropped out of my memory before we got to the station so I offered him half of my Bounty which he accepted. He might not have been so lucky had it been a Red Bounty.

The train journey back was a bit more sedate than the outbound one. We were back in Walsall about 21.30. I couldn’t be arsed to drink anymore so strolled home. Absolutely brilliant day with great company. 5 new Loughborough ticks in Wheeltapper, Moonface, Mini Monocle Needle & Pin and Tap & Clapper. It’s a great town and well worth a visit. I think Loughborough IV could happen though I think I need to tick off Melton Mowbray first. I still haven’t scratched off the scratchcard.