Easter Monday and Walsall FC had another one of those annoying 12.30 kick offs. I knew lots of people who had gone to Newport but I was watching it in Katz. My t-shirt ironing song of choice on this occasion was “Dance Away” by Roxy Music. I was 5 when it came out but loved it straight away and it remains a favourite of mine and I play it regularly. The line “you’re dressed to kill and guess who’s dying” meant nothing to me as a kid but I’m totally understanding of it nowadays.

I recently got an air fryer. Actually that’s not strictly true. I got it in 2020 but it took until 3 months ago for me to get it out of it’s box in the Living Room where it had resided ever since. I’m now obsessed with this device and I’ve been nagging Josh to come round for a breakfast cooked in it. He’s always having me round his for food so I like to try and repay the compliment. He rang me at 10.50 “geezer can I take you up on the air fryer breakfast offer?” He then explained that he had to get the kids dressed and two of them dropped off somewhere. I did wonder if he knew it was a 12.30 kick off. His arrival was to be further delayed as I mentioned I had no bacon so he said he’d grab some one en route.

One of the first times I did Josh brekkie, he completely threw me with the simple and seemingly innocuous request for a slice of toast. For some reason this stressed me out and I dropped a bowl of baked beans all over the work surface which was followed up by a barrage of f words that Gordon Ramsey would have been proud of. He came in, surveyed the scene and simply said “remind me to never tell you a secret. You’ll spill the beans.” Which made me laugh.

Happy to say that this time there was no such incident and I only had to apologise for the delay (I need a 2 drawer air fryer me thinks) and the ponceyness level of the bread for his toast. (Kingsmill Multi-seed). Anyway breakfast for me, Josh and his son George were rustled up with no fuss and Craig who had now turned up got some leftovers so everyone was happy.

It takes me forever to eat so we missed kick off but were soon in Katz. The performance was a bit cack but it looked like we had scored in injury time and the scenes in Katz were epic. We were all dancing around, me and Josh were hugging and yelling. It’s been that long since we’ve had a winner to celebrate. Then it was disallowed for handball. The replay showed it was the correct call but my God it was gutting. The mood just went flat.

Josh and his son departed and we put our coats on too. Then decided to stay for one more. We retreated to a back table, finished up and opted to move on. The on came The Kooks “She Moves In Her Own Way.” I said to Craig, “why does a great song come on when you’re about to leave?” It was to be fair the best song that had come on post match but we’d already postponed our departure once so we departed and marched off to the Black Country Arms.

In here we took our usual table on the balcony. On a previous visit I’d mentioned the availability of the cheese, onion and black pudding cob. Craig had no idea that this combination of filling was a thing, so this time I purchased one so he could see for himself. I had no intention of eating it, it was bought just for show and tell purposes. 10 minutes later I caved in and gobbled it down like I hadn’t eaten in a week.

After a couple of beers we were readying ourselves to move onto The Red Lion as it is always lively in there of a Monday afternoon. I then got a message from Swill asking where we were. I told him our plans and he messaged back saying he was just getting back from Newport and that him and Dean Neville were going to The Tap And Tanner for one. I barely go in that pub anymore as I’ve had issues getting served before but we said we’d also pop along for one.

Karaoke was on in The Tap. First discussion with Dean was about our appearance on the tv show Do I Not Know That? This was how I first met him and somebody had asked about it in Katz the day before. We were both happy that people still remember us being on that despite it being over two decades ago.

Swill asked if I was singing anything, and I replied in the negative. He went for a chat with the karaoke man and immediately Backstreet Boys “Backstreet’s back” was on the screen with performed by Evo below it. Oh right, I am singing then. I’d done this song the night before in The Walsall Arms and it went down a storm but I wasn’t feeling it this time so it was a bit flat but I still enjoyed it. I also did McFly “Obviously”, putting a bit more feeling in that one.

We saw the song “Camouflage” come up on the screen. I asked Craig, “is this the song I think it is? 80’s one hit wonder?” He couldn’t think of another with that title. I said “this is the most random karaoke choice I’ve ever known”. The bloke did a great job of it and I had arms in the air joining in the chorus. Great choice fella.

Swill was now in full on Swill mode. He had been dancing around for a good 45 minutes and he rejoined us, just as a bloke I think was called Disco Dave sat at the table next to him. He then then produces a stone fox, and a half pint of water. He thinks dips his fingers in the water and flicks it over the fox. I think Swill got some too. The randomness levels were creeping up.

The DJ who I think was called Coop then played “Red Red Wine” by UB40, so I stuck my fingers in my ears and he caught me. He put his fingers in his ears and gave me a puzzled look. I mouthed “this is shit” and hoped he’d understand. He soon changed it and on came “Red Light Spells Danger” which his a joint Deano and I anthem so we were both up dancing to this. As was Swill having posed for a picture with the fox and was now showing his moves like Jagger again. Deano represented our table with a great performance of “The Wonder Of You.”

There was a great rendition of “(I’ve Had) The Time Of My Life” from Dirty Dancing. Swill wanted lifting up like in the film during this. I got the nod. “I’ll put my back out” I protested. Deano said “you’ll be alright Evo, you work at The Manor. You’ll get priority in A&E.” I was like “I don’t think it works like that. I might not risk it.”

Someone sang “Losing My Religion” by REM, which was my first ever karaoke song, back in the day at The Fullbrook. I was up dancing to this one and the bloke did a great job of it. Swill announced he was getting a round in just as a lass got up for Celine Dion’s “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now.” He asked for help carrying it and again I got the nod but now I was far too busy singing loudly and doing very vigorous air piano. Craig helped him.

Coop played a a reggae kind of more upbeat version of “The Living Years” by Mike And The Mechanics which really threw Craig and I. Not really sure why a cheerier version of a song about the narrators dad dying was needed. More randomness. The last song to be played was “Right Beside You” by Sophie B. Hawkins, which regular readers will know is an absolute favourite of mine. Coop came over and shook our hands and thanked us for coming which was a really nice touch.

It was Swill’s home time. His last actions were to give me a ham cob that had been to Newport and back then departed with a “fuck off the lot of you” to us which made us laugh.

Not gonna lie. Not sure how it panned out from here. Don’t think we stayed much longer but the popping in for one must have been a 5 hour jobbie. It was brilliant in there. I got served straight away and I think I got my love for the place back.

Craig and I departed and headed to Wishbone, then got a taxi back to mine. I wanted Heart 00’s on but my mouth asked Alexa for Absolute 90’s. I was just glad she could still understand me. I knew it wasn’t Heart 00’s when Pulp’s “Sorted For E’s & Wizz” came on. We chatted our usual nonsense for a while then called it a night. Superb day with great friends.