It was Swill’s 50th in September. I offered to shout him a curry as he had done for mine. It took until now to do it. Yes things don’t happen quickly in my life but this one aint all on me. Busy boy is Swill and it’s fair to say free time isn’t always a friend of mine either. So last Thursday we finally settled on a day.

It was a good day at work and I left in a great mood. Sara Cox was on good form on Radio 2 and I can only apologise to any residents on Ida Road that may have heard me singing along to Craig David and Backstreet Boys.

I must have had curry on my mind as I was walking quicker than usual and this was picked up on as at every road I had to cross, a car slowed down to let me. Apart from the driver of a white car on White Street. Doubly let down by my favourite colour there.

Swill also had curry on his mind. He’d messaged me to say he was excited and heading out early which made me glad that I hadn’t played the last one in the pub is a c*** card which happens quite often when we arrange anything.

Shirt ironing song of choice this time was the amazing Hands To Heaven by Breathe. This 80’s classic always reminds me of my awesome Boxes 2 Go colleague Shelley who used to sing along loudly whilst changing a couple of words in the chorus line “tonight I need your sweet caress” to make it a bit ruder.

I jumped on the 31 Diamond bus, driven by a very lovely lady and we were soon passing through Leamore. Swill messaged to say he was almost at Wetherspoons. I replied and broke with tradition by saying first one in the pub is a c***. Just as that posted he sent one with the usual last one clause. Jinx.

In Spoons I grabbed him a Carling and opted for a latte myself. I’m trying to cut down on my drinking and spending. Although his curry was budgeted for so no issues there. Trying to make up for the money I’d spent in the playoffs I was in the middle of two no spend weekends, but like I say, curry fund was already ring fenced and safe from new self imposed austerity measures.

Swill and I are not usually slow on the piss taking but on this occasion one of his opening gambits was “you seem really relaxed.” Yeah, I do think I’ve calmed down a bit these last couple of years.

I got a couple of quick latte’s down me but then Swill went up the bar. “Beer?” he asked. Because I’m a nob and I like value I still wasn’t done with the free refills from the coffee machine but I hadn’t had a beer since getting back from Wembley over a week earlier. Go on then. Soon I had a Carling and a latte in front of me. Time went quickly in here. We had planned to walk to The Hatherton but we were that deep in conversation we just couldn’t be arsed. Sorry Hatherton, I swear I will come back soon.

We went next door to Ashoca. It was where Swill took me for my 50th curry, so only right we did it for his. There was no music but this was quickly put right as we sat down. Again we were busy canting and I hadn’t even looked at the menu when the waiter came up. To buy more time we requested poppadoms asking for 2, but he thought we meant that in total. After a quick bit of hesitation Swill called him back and requested another each. One simply does not have a lone poppadom.

“Are we having starters?” I asked. “Are you having one?” he replied. I’d spotted Nargis Kebab on the menu, so although I asked the motion had already been carried. We were. I also went for some thing I have forgotten the name of. If I remember I’ll try and find the menu and see if I can relay this vital info. (I tried and failed to find this out.) I should report what Swill ordered but I can’t remember that either. I had a Nargis Kebab coming and at that moment, was all I gave a shit about.

The starters came quickly, served on slate. The We want plates account on Twitter would have been fuming. I demolished my starter and soon we were on the main. Mine was very dark red with long strips of chicken. A bit sweet but tasty, whilst the cheese naan was ace.

We got a free shot with the bill which was nice – I do award extra marks for this on my non existent Walsall eaterie points based leaderboard.

Swill shouted me a taxi home which was good of him. It came quickly. Neither myself or the driver were in mood for conversation which we were both happy with. Cracking evening. Happy birthday Swill, albeit 9 months late.