My New Year resolution is to lose weight. Well I say that, I’ve been trying the last couple of months. To use boxing analogies, I’m currently Middleweight and have been dangling just above Light Middleweight (Super Welterweight for my American readers) for a while, so my aim is to drop down to that level. However, the Walsall food reviews now get the best readership figures on here, so I will continue with these. Last decade I was Cruiserweight (2nd highest) so I’m going in the right direction. Anyway, enough waffle, let’s talk food.

Lockside Cafe. Bradford Mall. Saddlers Centre, Walsall. Reviewed 21/12/25.

It was the shortest day in England. With daylight at its most premium of the year, I had to get out there and munching earlier. To be honest, I was heading to Wetherspoons for breakfast and then I remembered that my month off from blogging was coming to an end, and as I hadn’t done a food review since mid November, I really ought to so I decided to see if this place was open of a Sunday.

Opened earlier in the year, having been previously located in the old BHS store, this was to be only my second visit to the Saddlers Centre since the revamp. The other being the night before and an unsuccessful attempt to use the ticket office at the railway station when heading to meet Josh for The Twang concert in Birmingham.

I don’t know the unit number of the Lockside Cafe but it’s on the lower deck in what was the bra and pants shop back in the day, by the sexy new escalators (I like the colourful lighting on the sides of these).

The windows were nicely decked out in that festive spray stuff, but it was the flashing “open” sign that really did it for me.

The place was neat, clean and decked out with festiveness. No menus on the tables so I loitered staring at the one on the wall, which wasn’t at all awkward for myself and the two ladies sat beneath it eating. I don’r know why I studied it. It was always going to be the biggest available, The Full Nelson (£10.50) no tomato or mushrooms as is my standard request, with a mug of English Breakfast tea (£1.50). I will hit Light Middleweight in 2026, this visit was 2025 so very much allowed.

Service was friendly, food came quickly and was really god. I even had a successful go on the pepper grinder which is usually a fail for me. I read recently that black pepper boosts metabolism so now I’m obsessed with it, having it all the time. Even in coffee, on Cornflakes etc etc. Music was 60’s so anybody still in Whamageddon on day 21 could relax (I went out on day 13). “Baby, Now That I’ve Found You” by The Foundations and “Kissing In The Back Row Of The Movies” by The Drifters were the pick of the tunes.

Good visit this, there was Walsall FC chat with a fellow diner which earned bonus points and I prefer this place to the one they had in the old BHS.

Cafe 23. 27 Park Street, Walsall. Reviewed 28/12/25.

I was on a pre noon trip to The Light Cinema (to watch The Housemaid – (very good), I hadn’t done any post Christmas shopping and fancied one last pig out before resuming the pre work breakfast of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes the following day.

Cafe 23 opened recently on Park Street, although they put High Street on one of their Facebook posts which caused equal amounts of confusion and merriment. I was hoping it would be open on a Sunday morning and it was. They don’t do a full English per se, but brekkie options are available like fried egg or beans on toast. I’ve never had a bagel in my life so opted for one of those with scrambled egg and a large latte which came to £8.50. Lady serving was friendly too, so all good.

There was no music, which I was fine with. I’d got a song stuck in my head but I didn’t know what it was. I had to ask Kerrie at work the next day who confirmed it was APT by Rose and Bruno Mars. The interior is smart and there are a few lamps dotted around, so if Facebook ever brings back Lamp Lovers, you know where to head. There was also enough picture frames on the wall to make my Living Room jealous.

Food came quickly and was good. I can’t cook scrambled egg for shit, so it’s nice when others that can, do it for me.

Nice enough visit this. I have ignored bagels in the supermarket since though.

Sultan Cottage, 123 Wolverhampton Road, Pelsall. Reviewed 7/01/26.

Right. Back story to start with. Josh had me round his to join him and his family for Christmas dinner. He also lured me back to his after the Walsall v Crewe match on Boxing Day to feed me up again, so as a thank you I offered to take him and Lyndsey (Mrs Josh) out for food. Lyndsey politely declined so I gave Josh a free rein of where we were going, with just 2 small caveats. (1) it had to be in the borough of Walsall and (2) somewhere I hadn’t reviewed. He opted for this place. This pleased me as I hadn’t set foot in it since it was a pub (The Swan) and had been thinking about it a lot since including it in my lost pubs of Walsall blog.

We headed to The Railway in Pelsall en route as I needed to re-tick it with the new folk in charge, and Josh hadn’t been before. It looks good in there, barmaid was friendly and it was a good visit. Cheap prices too.

Upon arrival at Sultan Cottage, Josh spoke to a waiter who pointed him in the direction of a table. I wasn’t paying much attention, I was glancing around for anything I could write about and also to see if Patsy Kensit was in. She wasn’t. The waiter greeted me warmly and shook my hand. A good start.

It’s got to be a quarter of a century since I was last in the building and I don’t really remember what it was like as a pub so I followed Josh without pondering on that. I was most surprised as I turned a corner to see Josh joining a table, with two blokes sat it, booth with their backs to me. ‘What’s he doing now?’ I wondered. Only when I drew level did I see it was our great mates Pezza and Comedy. Josh had invited them as a surprise for me. It was ace. He’d whispered to the waiter that he was after the tabe for 4 and mentioned it was a surprise for me. No wonder the waiter was so welcoming to me. Must have thought it was my 60th birthday or something.

.The place isn’t licensed which I think is a bit poo as it used to be a pub. You can take your own booze, academic to me though as I’m doing Dry January so ordered a coffee whilst the sound of bottles being opened erupted all around me.

My brown sugar and milk came first but there was quite a delay with the actual coffee which caused merriment. Poppadoms are a must. Pezza suggested one each, which simply wasn’t happening. It’s two each minimum by law. We got 3 dips, the mint being ace. I was last to finish the poppadoms and the sauces had run out whilst I still had a full one left. I was never going to summon the waiter to ask for replacements and the lads had all finished theirs, so they weren’t asking. My 2nd poppadom was spent trying to scrape remnants from the sides of the pots.

“We’re not having starters are we?” Pez had asked. “We bloody are” I retorted. I’d checked the menu to make sure they did Nargis Kebabs before sanctioning Josh’s suggestion of this place. It was only Jan 7th but I was still desperate for my first Nargis of the year.

The conversation quickly got very laddie, but was broken up by the food arriving. The Nargis was ace. Despite demolishing it post haste, I was still last to finish. Josh commented that he’d got the smallest lamb chop ever. No wonder he finished first. Although he could probably polish off a 32oz steak in 10 seconds the way he eats.

After the starter I went to the loo, but couldn’t find it and stood in the middle of the restaurant trying my best to look lost. Nobody offered help so I had to ask a waiter,. To be fair, I wasn’t really paying attention, and ended up outside, again looking lost in full view of other diners. That John Travolta meme where he’s just glancing around confused popped into my head.

The mains (Chicken Tikka Masala for me) came and were all enjoyed. We had a 4 well fed and happy lads situation. I managed to annoy Josh with how I ate my food, which is a box we both like to be ticked regularly. We got a free chocolate which I was last to finish as I had been with all other parts of the meal. And people say I’m not consistent.

The bill came and and this is where the fun really started. I sat there with my flexible friend in hand, only to be told cash only. I thought the waiter was just having a giggle so I laughed and said again “can I pay by card?” to be reiterated “cash only”. No sweat for Pez and Comedy but I was struggling. Josh was like “you always pay cash.” This is true. Only when I am forced to pay by card (hello Walsall FC) do I do so, other wise it’s cash always. I’m like Jack Reacher in that respect. This is where comparisons between me and said fictional character end unfortunately. This time though I hadn’t had chance to go to the cashpoint.

In the end Comedy stumped up the money to make up what I hadn’t got. Josh, who had come out for a free meal had to transfer the money to Comedy on his phone as I aint got that kind of capability. “Cracking banter” was Josh’s summing up of the situation to me.

Great visit this. I’ll take my chequebook next time.

Malabar, 7 Anchor Road, Aldridge. Reviewed 09/01/26.

It had snowed. Badly. Storm Goretti had dumped his load and done one. It was the day of our annual quiz team night out. Early on there were discussions as to whether to postpone and having trudged miserably to work on the morning I was all in favour of this. I’m sure the Pools Panel would have ruled favourably. Afternoon pitch inspections were announced and eventually the evening was given the go ahead.

I still wasn’t quite feeling it as I left the house but the snow had caused the postponement of Samosa Friday at work so I was gagging for some Indian goodness. I made my feelings towards snow quite clear in last Sundays blog so won’t reiterate here, but needles to say my frosty attitude towards it hasn’t thawed since.

The Wetherspoons was very busy which was good to see. Morty and Woza were already there and we were soon joined by Mark and Al. Swill had had to pull out last minutes which was a shame but we were soon headed to Malabar.

I’m trying not to make this review a bit samey as my order was identical as two days earlier with just a substitution of a cheese naan for the chapatis being the only thing preventing an unchanged line up.

This time it was Mark who tried to suggest the one poppadom notion. Again I moved quickly to crush this nonsense, and soon we had two each in front of us. My coffee arrived straight away and it was all going well. Someone had to be a nob. Enter stage left me. I somehow managed to knock the mint dip all over the table. I’m not usually clumsy but I certainly dipped out of character here. I cleaned up quickly like Winston Wolfe in Pulp Fiction.

The Nargis Kebab has a different k word here, which escapes me but it’s the same thing. I pondered the combination of Chicken Tikka Masala and Lamb Bhuna (I’ve never had lamb curry, there I’ve said it) but opted just for the chicken one on it’s own. Mark must have read my mine though as he oped for that combo and I was immediately jealous.

Food was good, and it came quickly. It’s licensed and it felt strange seeing my coffee amongst a sea of bottles of Cobra but I was fine. I had cash this time so no issue paying and we got a chocolate at full time so more bonus points.

Upon leaving the Malabar the lads all headed back to Wetherspoons but I made my excuses and left, citing that I wanted to get a bus “before they stopped them due to the snow”, which whilst 100% true, didn’t tell the whole story. I also wanted to get home to catch up with that nights edition of The Traitors. God, I’ve changed.

Cheers all, thanks for reading. I’m off to phone Nargis Anonymous. P.s, it took 9 days but I paid Josh back.