Lazy start to last Sunday. Danny Wallace on Radio X was blasting out, which was an absolute treat. I don’t normally get to listen to him as I’m usually at the gym at this time of the week, but I’m currently having a break whilst the “go to the gym only in January” brigade get that out of their systems. Some great lines like “marriage is about secret grudges and robbing each other of small moments of joy.” Great entertainment.

I couldn’t listen to it all though as I had somewhere to be. Cannock to be precise. My mate Rob who has been growing his hair for a while was having it shaved off to raise money for Cancer Research. It simply had to be done. Rob is a top lad, has great taste in music and football team, and is a source of entertainment on Twitter.

Trains were playing nicely, which isn’t always the case of a Sunday, and as I got into Cannock I had a bit of time to kill. I pondered McDonalds. I immediately had the little devil on one shoulder saying “you love the Surf n Turf burger. It’s going off the secret menu soon. Do it. Do it now.” I then had the angel on the other shoulder saying “you’re trying to lose weight. Don’t do it you fat fuck.” Plus it wouldn’t have just been the Surf N Turf meal, it would have been yes to the “would you like to add on 4 chicken nuggets?” “Can we tempt you with a hot apple pie before you complete your order?” “No, I don’t like apple. Oh sod it, go on then.” I pressed on towards town.

Another reason I didn’t go there is because I’m trying to save up to make a bid for Greenland. Might buy it, mark it up and see if I can sell it on. Wonder if I could find any interested buyers. I should get a big discount as at a quiz a few years ago, apart from the quiz master, I was the only person in the room that knew that Nuuk is their capital city.

I digress. I took a stroll past The Prince Of Wales Theatre. It looks sad at the moment and the street is so different with all the neighbouring buildings gone. I have happpy memories of that theatre and have blooged about them recently. You can catch it here. I gather that discussions are still ongoing but I hope they can save it. I’m a Walsall lad so certainly no stranger to council inspired lust for demolition in the name of redevelopment.

Rob’s shave was taking place at The Royal Oak, a cracking pub and always on the must visit list whenever I’m in town. It was very busy and a decent crowd where soon heading outside to watch the big shave off. Rob and I made a pact that I could have his hair when it was shaved off so I was glad I’d travelled.

Early on I thought that the clippers were going to pack up which had me wondering if a Turkish Barbers was nearby. There was some great lines flying around from the watching crowd starting with “you’ll have to give everyone their money back” when the clippers were playing up, through to “hurry up, we’re getting wet” “you look like something out of Strangeways”, “how much for the eyebrows to some off?” (“for me or the charity?” was Rob’s response), “you might win a darts match now Rob, only bigging you up, you probably won’t” “you’ve got to eat all the hair now” and my favourite “grow it back until Walsall win promotion, you’ll look like Chewbacca.” Walsall FC and Chewbacca in the same quote, that’s a first on me and I loved it.

Back inside and I got Rob a Guinness, he’d more than earned it but in truth I’ve owed him a beer for a couple of years since I bumped into him in The Bull Ring Tavern in Brum after a Hard-Fi gig and he sorted me a ticket for the Walsall match the next day, saying “get me a pint.” Good to finally pay that debt off. If you’d like to donate to Cancer Research on behalf of Rob’s shave, the gofundme page is here. He’ll love you forever.

From there it was The New Hall Arms, where the music was great with the highlights being Donna Lewis “I Love You Always Forever” which I only ever hear on Heart 90’s at work and (guessing this figure off the top of my head) my 7th favourite Duran Duran song “Ordinary World”. The plan had been to visit The Arcade too but with time short I stayed here and let some writing ideas bubble away whilst enjoying the tunes.

The train was on time and as it approached Walsall I loitered near the door. A lad came in from the next carriage and pressed the door for the toilet. From behind me a voice shouted “I wouldn’t go in there mate. It’s covered in shit. Someone’s had the worlds biggest dump in there.” Needless to say I was still chuckling at this as I walked down Park Street.

In Wewtherspoon, word reached me of Adam and Annabelle’s imminent departure from The Oak Inn. I sent this to a few folk including Mase who messaged back to say he was in The Lyndon and he summonsed me to join him. It’s testament as to how highly I regard Mase as I departed with immediateness after just one free refill coffee. Though I did ponder taking one up the road with me. I’d have taken the mug back the next day to see if they’d give me 10p for it like when you used to take Corona bottles back in the 1980’s. For the Millennials reading, Corona was pop back in the day. I didn’t start on the beer that early in life.

The Lyndon was busy. I’ve not been in it for well over a year I reckon so it was good to see it’s still pulling folk in. The karaoke was on and doing good business and Mase was sat round the corner with Martin. Martin departed shortly afterwards. Mase and I set about putting the world to right.

The karaoke was non stop. Singer after singer with no filler songs in between. Highlights? A cracking rendition f “2 Out Of 3 Aint Bad” and “Wonderful Life” by Black which I’ve never heard on karaoke before. “Warm This Winter” by Gabrielle Cilmi had both Mase and I protesting “this is a Christmas song.” It’s a great song though, well performed and we both joined in. “Oh! Carol” was a regular song sang in The Fullbrook and during the chorus, after each line everyone would sing “in the bed.” I went into auto pilot and shouted as I am used to. It was just me. Somethings don’t move from pub to pub.

A rendition of “Happy Birthday” did have the alternate second verse of “go out and get drunk, go out and get drunk, get plastered you bastard…” Somethings do migrate from The Fullbrook then.

We departeted. As Mase walked off down Bridge Sreet I shouted after him “give me best to the family.” “No” he replied firmly. Standard Mase. Gotta love him.

I hadn’t been out on a Sunday in centuries so decided to carry on and headed to Katz. Karaoke was also in full flow here. A man was performing “Love Is In The Air” as I walked in, and that’s an absolute classic so I stopped in the middle of the floor and joined in. Mel was in and having a great time and hostess Mena was in good form. I decided to do a song. “Lady Willpower” by Gary Puckett. I’d heard it on the morning and it had been in my head all day. I quickly learned from the first word that my vice isn’t suited to this. Me with my ropy accent trying to croon “Lady Willpower, it’s now or never. Give your love to me. I’ll shower your heart with tenderness, endlessly” must have been horrendous listening to everyone in the vicinity but fair play to Mena, she called it a treat as I finished. It didn’t sound like that where I was standing.

I headed to The Walsall Arms. En route I stopped in the rain to admire a fridge freezer that had been neatly deposited in the gutter. On double yellow lines though. I know that cars can’t park on these, not so sure about electrical appliances though. Not read my copy of The Highway Code since 1995, but I’ll check.

In The Arms, I’d missed the karaoke but Jodi was serving and it was good to see her. Jaz and a few of the locals were about too and it was a good half hour or so.A lady I don’t know rocked up alongside and asked if I’d like a shot which I politely declined. She then got one for everyone at the bar. Very decent of her. Me turning down a Tequila Rose? God I’ve changed.

It was proper pissing down as I headed home. Getting fed up of all of this wet stuff now. I know farmers like it, but I don’t. It’s shit. I understand why Adele is so keen to set fire to it. I might join her one of the nights with some kindling.

P.S. Next time you hear Oh! Carol, if you fancy giving it a Walsall feel here are the lyrics to the chorus as performed in The Fullbrook. “Darling there will never be another in the bed. ‘Cause I love you so in the bed. Don’t ever leave me in the bed. Say you’ll never goooooooooooo I will always want you for my sweet heart in the bed. No matter what you do in the bed. Oh Carol, I’m still in love with you.” In the bed tended to be somewhat optional after that last line depending on time of the night/alcohol levels etc etc.