You’ve got to love Fawlty Towers haven’t you? Loved the tv show and inherited the VHS box set from my parents. When I heard there was a stage show, I wanted in. I mentioned it to my colleague Carole who said she was going to see it that Saturday afternoon, having bought the tickets a year earlier. She came back saying it was hilarious and that she could have easily watched it again on the evening.

So I mentioned this to Swill and he got to work and sorted us tickets for The Alexandra Theatre in Birmingham. Epic.

I love the show. The daft, farcical humour really hits with me and back in 2013 I stayed in a pub in Bewdley with b&b facilities purely because the reviews said that the landlord was a love or hate him figure with some likening him to Basil Fawlty.

The day at work was a good one. My manager David is a big fan of the show and was coming out with catchphrases all day which got me in the mood. Next time I drop a bollock I might give a Manuel style “I know nothing” to see if that gets me off the hook.

I was meeting Swill on the train as he was getting on at Bloxwich (or Bloxwich Normal as it was called by the lady in the ticket office once as she was trying to deduce if I wanted a ticket to the town one or Bloxwich North. I’ve taken to calling it Bloxwich Normal since.)

I had time for refreshment so popped to Greggs and jumped on board the train with my large latte. “Where’s your sausage roll?” Swill demanded. “You can’t go to Greggs and not have a sausage roll.” I denied all knowledge for a minute or so then produced the empty sausage roll wrapper from my coat pocket. He knows me well.

Swill had planned food in Birmingham. I’d have been happy with a Waldorf Salad and a bottle of wine that was corked to get me feeling like a guest of Basil but he had Indian in mind. I had no issue with this.

En route to the restaurant we passed a couple of lads and as I had my headphones round my neck, one of them asked me “are you a dj?” “I wish” was my reply and it’s so true. My dream job since I was a kid, radio though rather than behind the decks of a super club.

I had no previous knowledge of Tamatanga on Navigation Street but Swill said it was decent and that was good enough for me. There was very friendly welcomes upon arrival and our waitress was great. Swill went for a proper meal (tandori chick-chicken – two chicken breasts with a side curry) while I just went for a couple of starters. Amritsari Fish Fry and Prawn Tempura. I was intrigued though by dishes called things like Luscious Lamb and First Class Lamb Chops and wanted to see if the food matched the titles claims but the starters I stuck with. I do however want to go and see Single White Female at The Alexandra in May, so I might do double lamb goodness then.

Whilst waiting for food we heard a commotion outside. Shouting, chanting and drums. There was a procession of Lille fans on their way to Villa park. Some banged on the windows and others pulled faces. I shouted “you were lucky in the 6 Nations.” They probably didn’t hear me but it needed saying.

Despite being busy, the food came quickly (quicker for Swill we noticed) and the metal cutlery came in it’s own packet which I really liked. Food was excellent. In hindsight I should have had an extra small plate but that would have been an odd number and I wouldn’t have been able to cope with that. As a nod to Monty Python I should have gone all Mr Creosote, absolutely stuffed myself and seen if one of the French people in town would offer me a wafer thin mint. I’m sure John Cleese would have appreciated that. Swill said his food was “amazing.”

Food devoured and enjoyed we paid up and departed. I’ve never been to The Alexandra Theatre before so it was good to tick it off. It was very busy inside as you’d expect. Swill headed for the bar and I rushed to the hot drink stall grabbing an English Breakfast Tea for £2.60 which was less than I thought it would be. We couldn’t see a programme seller though which was disappointing as I really wanted one.

We headed down to the stalls. Swill had played a blinder and got us 5th row tickets, although we walked to the wrong side of the theatre and had to scarper to the other side right in front of the stage. What a feeling. Carole in her review had commented about how much the cast looked like the originals in the television show and she was bang on. Polly was the first to appear and yes, she was like a replica.

The show is basically a merger of 3 or 4 of the tv episodes. So I knew a lot of the of the dialogue and despite this, it was still hilarious. My favourite bit was the exchange about the view out of a Torquay hotel window. Absolute genius. Swill’s report was the guy playing Basil was class and the exchange about the winning of the bet with Manuel and The Major was his favourite part. He would have liked a bit more of Manuel being hit with the spoon though.

Odd incident at half time. We left our seats as Swill was bursting for the loo so he dashed off while I fannied around checking that I’d got my glasses still in my coat pocket. I noticed him disappear into a side passage whilst I was doing my checks and when done I went to wait for him. The passage led to a little room with a disabled toilet. I waited and then two ladies arrived. “Are you waiting for the toilet?” one asked. “No, I’m waiting for my mate.” After what seemed a long time the door opened and an old lady with a walking stick came out. The two ladies waiting gave me a funny look as if to say, “that’s your friend?” Swill had seen the disabled toilet and dashed off upstairs looking for another one.

The second act just disappeared. The Germans showed up, which I think everyone was waiting for. The final scene and the total chaos of the fire drill was brilliant and I didn’t expect The Major to fire his gun. I’ve known some bizarre fire drills over the years so could totally relate to this.

The bows were epic. The cast were clearly loving it, applauding each other as they came out with Basil getting the biggest cheer followed by Manuel. All the cast were phenomenal though. It’s still on tour so I suggest you see this show. It’s superb.

Bit of drama at the end when Swill lost his phone. Swill and I are both partial to losing things although he is much better at it. With him it’s umbrellas and me it’s beanie hats so a mobile phone was a new one on both of us. Fortunately with the help of the light on my phone we found it under the seat. All good.

Walking out there were smiles all round. Sign of a good show.

We headed back to New Street and I took Swill in the London & North Western, the Wetherspoons on the station as he hadn’t ticked it off before. Not much to report in there, just people drinking and waiting for trains. Both in one or two cases I suspected.

On the train we got a table seat, sat opposite and had a proper in depth chat. Swill likened it to how Smith and Jones used to do it on the tele. At Walsall I bailed. Outside of the station there was a taxi. I had no desire to contribute to the current oil shortage fears so I marched past it and walked home smiling to myself from memories of the night. In hindsight, I should have taken the taxi just in the hope that it broke down. I could then have grabbed a branch, and in the words of Basil himself, given it “a damn good thrashing.”