Author Archives: evoboozyscribbler

The Prince Of Wales Theatre in Cannock is earmarked for closure and I gather a consultation period is underway. Although I’m not from Cannock I know what a great venue it is, not only for the locals but also for drama groups across the region. A nod also to ale drinkers as Cannock Chase CAMRA have their wonderful beer festival there, something I have attended both as a drinker and a worker.

I joined AMCS (Aldridge Musical Comedy Society) in 2014 and 9 of the 13 shows I’ve been in have occurred on that Prince Of Wales stage. So here I look back over those shows and try and explain why this venue means so much to theatre goers and performers alike.

I’d never shown any interest in being a stage performer. Yes I enjoyed being in primary school shows but didn’t join any drama groups at secondary school. My first show with AMCS was Jesus Christ Superstar. May as well jump straight into the deep end eh? My mate Nick Britt got me into it, eventually after I ran out of excuses not too.

Me and Nick went to The Prince Of Wales to see a show called Our House. Although I’d been in the venue before this was my first time as a theatre goer, with the seats down and I looked over to the stage and it hit me that I’d be performing on it in a few weeks in front of capacity crowds. I just stood there dumbstruck with my mouth open for a good minute or two. Nick had to look back to see where I was. I’d proper gone into stand by mode. It was a great show though. We also went to see Brownhills Goes To Broadway by Brownhills Musical Theatre Company, another excellent show.

I was overweight. I decided in a bid to shed some timber in time for the show I’d give up the booze for 2 months, ending this at The Cannock Beer Festival. I hate watching myself back and rarely do, but I recently saw a clip from JCS and I was waddling around the stage like a fat penguin. It was like I’d tuned into Cringe FM. Note to self, don’t give up booze. It’s pointless.

Anyway the shows went well, I sold loads of tickets and having my mates chanting “Evo Evo Evo” as I walked out for the bows will live with me forever.

I only planned to do one show but was eventually talked into doing the next one Heroes & Sweethearts. Emma Wallage is very persuasive. This was a show for the 70th anniversary of VE Day put together and directed by the lovely Jools. A combination of wartime songs and traditional English anthems. My favourite part of this was a Dads Army style sketch performed by the 7 blokes in the show and written by Nick. My character had a very weak bladder and had to go for a piss about 4 times during the 5 minute sketch and the audience loved it. The other highlight was I got to be the only person on stage singing the opening verse of the show as a soloist in the song This Is The Amy, Mr. Jones.

One of the songs was I’ve Got A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts and during the line “some as big as your head” someone behind me would remove my hat and I’d point to my mossiv cranium. This earned me the nickname Coconut from a lovely lady in the club afterwards. I didn’t mind. I’ve been called much worse.

Although only my second show with the society I was already developing a taste for being the last cast member off the stage and on the final night I was keeping up with this when I doubled back and gave the audience a cheeky salute before the curtains closed. On the back of this my mate Mase said I had to the same but with a Ric Flair impression. I can’t remember the show but I did it. This was an epic show and remains one of my favourites.

Musical Memories was performed at Rugeley Rose Theatre but in May 2016 we were back at P.O.W for Thoroughly Modern Millie. On the Sunday of show week, we were in the theatre for band call and if you’ve been you’ll know the corridor which leads to the auditorium where refreshments and programmes are sold. We were in there with a 14 piece orchestra. It was my big day so they played Happy Birthday while everyone sang along. Marvellous moment.

On the back of this show I considered changing my Twitter name to Thoroughly Modern Mikee but that would have been utter cobblers. Nowt modern about me and my friends will happily testify to that. I’m not materialistic and don’t do gadgets or new technology. The most modern stuff in my house is food and some of that is out of date.

The magnificent panto Once Upon A Time was performed at Great Wyrley High School (they have a prper theatre set up, we weren’t in the assembly hall) but in May 2017 we were back in Cannock for Fabulous At 50, a concert to celebrate 5 decades of AMCS. Me and the delightful Sarah Carter who had teamed up to be Mary and Bert from Mary Poppins in Musical Memories were reunited twice in this one. Firstly in One Day More from Les Mis as the Thernardiers but also in a chaotic restaurant scene, the brain work of Nick. Sarah in this basically passed out and I had to show concern whilst trying to summon the waiter for another drink and shuffling off stage repeatedly for a piss. Can’t help but feel I’m a bit typecast in that respect but it was great fun.

Talking of One Day More on one occasion I was in the loo when the first notes started and I had to dash down the stairs with my scarf caught in my zip. This was a superb show and the one song with just the blokes “There Is Nothing Like A Dame” was phenomenal. On the last night the stage hands provided pizzas which was ace.

Smokey Joe’s Cafe was performed at Aldridge Youth Theatre but in May 2018 it was back to our spiritual home for West Side Story. I immediately ruled myself out thinking there wasn’t a role for me but was talked into going for Officer Krupke. Main memory of this show was my squeaky truncheon. There is one scene where Krupke is pushed over and during one rehearsal the squeak went off upon impact on the stage. The sound travelled in the empty auditorium but it got a big laugh. We disable the squeak in the dressing room afterwards.

We were back in Great Wyrley for Sleeping Beauty but May 2019 saw a return to Cannock for Me & My Girl with me playing deaf old man Sir Jasper Tring. Absolutely no method acting needed there. Tough show this one but the audiences loved it and I was just pleased to get through the Lambeth Walk dance without dropping a clanger although I will confess I shed no tears when finding out that I didn’t have to join this one until quite late in the proceedings.

November’s show was Magic Of Menken, a tribute to composer Alan Menken. This one caused some anxiety as during one song (Mine Mine Mine I think but willing to be wrong) the blokes had to launch actual spades. I was paired up with Nick for this and I was terrified that I was going to damage either him or the famous Prince Of Wales stage. Early practices of this were done on the car park outside our rehearsal studio. This was in full view of an old folks home. God knows what they thought.

Covid stopped everything but we were back in Cannock in November 2021 for a panto, Cinderella. Written and directed by Nick. Early rehearsals for this were held on an outdoor netball court which was strange.

I love panto. Getting to be silly on stage is just so me. I was Baron Hardup in this, Cinderella’s somewhat henpecked father. I had a great time playing opposite his wife Madame Waitrose played superbly by Sarah Hinkley.

My favourite part of this show was in The Palace Ballroom. Everyone was instructed to take their places for the formal dance. Hardup and Waitrose marched stage front and centre and stood there looking dignified. Then The Macarena started playing. I especially liked this as Sarah Beckett our Choreographer had told me I could get this wrong for comedic effect and believe me she never says this. So I got positioning wrong and even threw in other dances with a bit of YMCA action for good measure.

Too many good performances in this one to mention but Rich Beckett as Dandini, newcomer Bethany as Chardonnay and my stage wife Chante (real life wife of one of my besties Swill) as Buttons were all brilliant. Also big nods to Michael Mannion who stepped in half way through rehearsals to replace the original Prince Charming.

This was the toughest of all the show weeks as I couldn’t get any time off work and we’d just relocated to the other side of Wolverhampton. So it was up at 6am, work all day then straight to Cannock and get home around 11pm. All week. Gruelling but the audience response and the reviews made it all worthwhile.

Sister Act was next but I thought there wasn’t many roles for men in that so I sat it out and my God it was strange being in the audience at the P.O.W rather than being on stage. I’d been in every show since joining the society so it was weird. I did do front of house duties selling programmes with the lovely Christine.

My last show with AMCS was also in Cannock in November 2022 called Musicals That Rock. Including songs from Meatloaf and Green Day so it was right up my street. I can’t remember why but the wonderful Lucy Pountain flicking the v’s at me from up above during the last dress rehearsal at P.O.W was an amusing part of show week. Post how it was agreed that we rocked the ‘nock.

After this show I did front of house again for Dick Whittington The Secret Of Skull Island and Stages Through The Ages, two excellent shows. I love doing FOH especially when audience members that I don’t know say things like “oh, aren’t you in this one?”. One lady even pointed to her friend and said “you’re her favourite person in these shows” which I loved. Some people don’t like compliments but I lap them up, especially as I don’t get many. An unexpected development stopped me attending So This Is Christmas last month. It would normally take wild horses to stop me attending but this couldn’t be avoided. With things as they are that could be the last time AMCS perform at this wonderful venue.

So we need to save the place. Not just for performers and audiences but also the staff. I’ve got to know the stage hands, lighting and sound techies and of course the bar staff. There is a Save The Prince Of Wales Facebook group so feel free to join that.

I’m not finished with AMCS and I’d dearly love to tread the boards in Cannock with them once more.

So to summarise, I love the Prince Of Wales Theatre. Had great times on stage, so many laughs in the dressing room and post show beers when that bar in the pictures opens. It’s by the gents dressing room which is a result. My only regret is that I didn’t get to run across the empty Prince Of Wales stage in an inflatable pig costume like I had the pleasure to do in Great Wyrley. It got big laughs every show. And yes I’m mentioning this just so I can show the picture.

First job last Sunday was to see if my fence had survived the overnight 45mph winds from Storm Bert. Must be the 50 year old in me that as first thing in the morning I’m checking if my wood is still erect.

T-shirt ironing song on this occasion was The Zutons Why Won’t You Give Me Your Love? No explanation needed other than it is magnificent.

The number 10 bus was 15 minutes late and then went on a diversion throuigh Coalpool but soon I was in Shelfield ready to meet Chris and James. We’d arranged this sup up a month earlier and I’d duly booked the Monday off work but then numerous events conspired and I had to cancel that day. I asked, then pleaded with Chris for a much earlier start so I’d be home in good time to sleep the booze off and a reduction in the number of venues. Well, I got the early start and at 12.25 I was walking into The Four Crosses.

Chris and James were already there having also had a diversion to their walk when they discovered Harden Road flooded and they had to take an alternative route. Chris was quick to point out the first controversy of the day. His pack of Walkers Ready Salted crisps were out of a multi pack and not to be sold individually. I said pubs should sell complete multi packs. Imagine that, being able to buy a pack of 6 bags of Beef Space Raiders to go with your booze. This would boost the nighttime economy I tell thee.

Next up was St Francis Club. I thought I’d been in most of the licensed premesis in the borough pf Walsall but had no prior knowledge of this until Chris sent his route over in the week. Chris went in first and gave me the choice of doors left or right. I cracked my usual tedious jibe of never getting to go left on a plane so go that way. He stuch his head in and retreated. “There’s a party going on in there” so we went right.

James commented that the 3 pints and pack of scratchings came to £16. Fair play to Chris as he went up the bar and queried it. Turns out it is cheaper beer for members which is fair enough.

I had a ham cob which was priced at £1.55 and was ace. Chris commented afterwards that the blue bag it came in “looked like a dog poo bag.” He has such a way with words. I;m glad he told me this after I’d eaten though. It did get me thinking though, instead of hanging bags of shit on trees like some folk do, but instead hung ham cobs wouldn’t the world be a better place?

It was busy in our room but Chris mentioned that the other one was full of women. “So what are we doing in here?” I asked. We also talked crisps. It’s one of Chris’s favourite subjects. Although it was far too early to be festive as it was still mid November I did enthuse about the possibility of the Golden Wonder turkey and stuffing flavour that used to come out at Christmas coming back this year. I then told the anecdote about at a Northern January away game (I forget where) they were selling off cheap said crisps in the pub pre match. I had a pack then but after the game had the whole stock which was commented on heartily in the minibus. I think they lasted until March.

After a short while Chris announced the 2 minutes warning as he does ahead of every departure time. I asked for toilet directions and was provided with them. “How about if I take a wrong turn, end up in the room full of women and they make me stay?” I asked. “You never know” Chris replied “they might be waiting for a stripogram”. God imagine that. Actually don’t. I wouldn’t want to put that image in your head before breakfast of a Sunday morning. If I had done it though it would have put everyone heading to the buffet off the cocktail sausages. I didn’t take the wrong turn.

We walked to Pelsall. Storm Bert was still with us but his wind had calmed down to just the 16mph. Pelsall Cricket Club was next and I hadn’t even got through the door and I was being greeted by Helen Baker, one of the finest of my fellow Walsall FC fans. There was a Christmas Fayre going on with an outside Bavarian Bar and reindeer had just arrived. It was such a shame that the weather was absolute poo with wind and rain. Absolutely not Cricket weather.

I’d not been in The Railway since the long standing former gaffer (Tom?) left. It has nice new furniture and has had a lick of paint. All I Want For Christmas Is You was playing as we entered. Good job I was still feeling festive from the Cricket Club.

Chris had been on about beef and onion crisps all day and asking if I’d like some. I’d commented that it was highly unlikely as they’d been discontinued in 1980 (actually 1988 James found out). He then produced a pack from Ireland. I commented that you can’t smuggle your own crisps into pubs and that I wanted nothing to do with it for fear of being barred from everywhere in the vicinity under the Pelsall Pub Crisp Watch. I relented eventually.

Conversation in here was random from Chris claiming that the disproportionate amount of the different coloured sweets in Opal Fruits (as he and I still call them) is a scam through to James telling of a colleague that counts his Scampi Fries as he says he gets different amounts which James says is impossible due to them being sold by weight. Chris wondered how many Bacon Fries you got in a pack and I immediately thought he’ll have done a count somewhere by the next meet up.

The Queens is definitely the me pub of Pelsall. As I took the initial picture I didn’t notice the group in the doorway and the nice lady asked why I’d taken it. I told a complete lie and said I forget where I’ve been due to the booze and I like to keep a record. I don’t know why I just don’t like people to know I’m blogging. I really need more readers of this yet I don’t tell folk about it because I’m a nob. Imagine “oh you’re writing about a Pelsall pub crawl? I’d love to read that.” No, none of that ever happens. Bloody shyness. It was busy inside and free chicken drumsticks were on the bar which was very welcome. Music was good too. I’m sure Belinda Carlisle featured which is always welcome..

I mentioned about The Retro Realm (new arcade by Wharf Bar in Walsall Town Centre) opening on 6th of December and that I probably couldn’t go that weekend. This sparked a chat about retro games and we all agree that Paperboy is just the best game ever. I hope they have it in there complete with the handle bars like the old days.

Old House At Home was busy with diners so we sat in that little section next to the door which I’ve not been in before and we ended up at The Fingerpost. There was a dog sat at the bar which I fussed but it didn’t even look at me. I’m used to being ignored by the ladies but not dogs. Discussion in here was of retro sweets and my odd comment that I always buy white Bon Bons as it’s my favourite colour even though I prefer the yellow ones.

The day was rounded off with a visit to The Little Chippy which I’ve always wanted to tick off. Chris didn’t want his gravy so I wa given it. I know gravy on fish is frowned upon in some quarters but it’s sooo good and this was an excellent visit. Good food, friendly staff. Very easy on the pocket too as Chris paid. Top man.

Chris ordered an Uber and we were soon back in Walsall. They tried to get me to join them in the Wetherspoons but I was being good and ventured home, getting the early night I wanted to sleep the booze off.

Absolutely class day. This was my last blow out for a while so I’m glad it was a good un. Lots of busy places, friendly bar staff and as is the usual with Chris, crisps. Cheers James and Chris for a great day.

Maxy Tasty. 9 Bradford Street, Walsall. Reviewed 22/10/24.

It was post work on a Tuesday. I need to snack before starting the pre Walsall v Carlisle match drinking. I picked this place as I could amble down from work then head up Wednesbury Road to The Railway Club.

This has been open a while but I’d not been in. When I worked at Cardboard Boxes 2 Go on Queen Street, a colleague came here every dinnertime for chicken and chips so I sussed it was alright.

Service was friendly and quick. I went for a fish burger as I love a bit of cod. The meal deal came to £5 which was decent. There were a few other customers coming in and out and I didn’t know if this was due to proximity of bus stops or repeat customers. My food came quickly and I was heading upstairs.

The burger was really good. There was no music which I was fine with just the sounds of a busy venue. Place was clean too, emphasised by someone leaving adjacent to me and within 30 seconds a lad was up spraying and wiping the table and soon came back to sweep up.

Decent visit this and I can see why Ade was such a fan. I will come back and try the chicken one day soon. Although as I write this a month later, I haven’t.

Tiffany’s. 47 Albion Road, Willenhall. Reviewed 02/11/24.

There is a tradition in our family that dates back centuries that is on F.A Cup 1st round day you have to go out for a full English breakfast. I always keep this going. I’ve got to be honest, I’d never heard of this place until a saw a post on the Brownhills Bob Facebook group and the USP is that you can create your own breakfast from a a long list of options. As soon as I saw this I knew it was getting done, but it still took a couple of months to get around to it.

I find the 529 bus slightly more tolerable now that I don’t have to catch it at 6.40 every weekday morning to go to work and it was fine this time and I was soon in Willenhall.

I’m not sure why but I was slightly tentative as I asked “could I have the 10 item breakfast please?.” The lady serving was very friendly though and handed me a slip of paper and a pen for me to make my choices from the list of options on the note. It felt like I was voting in a kind of breakfast referendum. There should have been a wooden booth for me to go in to put my votes down.

I’d had the list up on my phone heading over. A few things were disregarded right away. Chips? I love chips but they don’t belong on a breakfast. Fried onions? I don’t have these on a hot dog so it’s not happening on breakfast. Smiley faces? No. Had they been miserable faces I may have been tempted as they would have been more in keeping with my general demeanour.

I made my choices and was almost apologetic upon heading over to the counter. “I’ve only got 9 items. Is that frowned upon?” “No, not at all” she replied “have an extra one of something you’ve already picked”. “Oh right. Another sausage then please.”. The breakfast was £9 and with a cup of tea it came to £10.20.

The cafe was doing a good trade. Every table was soon occupied. Background music was provided by Radio 1, a station I’ve not listened to since Scott Mills was moved off Drivetime in 2012. The only song I knew was Pon De Replay by Rihanna. Bit harsh playing a song about replays on F A Cup day now that they have been scrapped from the tournament.

The breakfast came quickly and it was magnificent. I only have scrambled eggs at home and I’m shit at making them but here they were divine. I was nervous about the battered black pudding and would it work but oh my God, yes it did.

This was a great visit. Food good, numerous members of staff emerged from the Kitchen and were friendly. The best compliment I can say about this place is it’s a good job I don’t live closer. My Doctor and Bank Manager would be fuming.

P.s you may have noticed I haven’t cracked the obvious Breakfast At Tiffany’s gag. 2 reasons for this. (1) I’ve not seen the film. (2) I absolutely hate the song. Cheers.

Pleck Balti. 303 Wednesbury Road, Pleck, Walsall. Reviewed 06/11/24

Josh and I had been on about going here for a while. I’d not been since the late 90’s and he’s been once or twice with his wife Lyndsey. We pass it regularly when we are on missions so it was about time we finally ventured in.

On the the morning at work I’d had a flashback to a recent trip to Shabab in Cannock and that was it. I was craving curry. Josh messaged at dinner time. “Pleck Balti tonight?” I swear that lad can read my mind.

I told my colleague Alex on the afternoon where I was going and he asked what I was having. I said “I don’t know but I’m just hoping they do a cheese naan.” “Not a Keema naan?” “I’ve never had one of those.” He was taken aback but said “it’s like fireworks in your mouth.” Well the day after Bonfire Night seemed like a good time for this to happen so it was motion carried.

I didn’t want to hang around for curry so we made it an early evening jobbie and arranged to meet there. As I left my house I asked if it might be worth asking our mate Asps as his office is in Wednesbury and he usually finishes around the time we were meeting. Josh posed the question and came back just as I was power marching down Corporation Street. I’m generally not a quick walker but this changes when beer or food is involved.

Josh came back saying Asps was up for it but not for another hour or so. He agreed to pick me up on Wednesbury Road and that we’d go and kill time somewhere.

I was just approaching the Pelican Crossing on Wednesbury Road when Josh drove past and he turned into Tasker Street. I crossed and was immediately joined by a prostitute. “Are you looking for business?” she asked. “no, I;m going for curry.” “Going for curry now?” “Nowish”. “Do you want business before your curry?” “It’s all about curry business tonight love.” I actually cringed as I said this. I’d now reached Tasker Street. Josh had turned round and parked up. A prostitute on the adjacent corner had clocked this and must have thought she was getting a fare. The look on her face as I strolled across the road and got in the car was something. We must have looked like a right pair of rent boys. Not many folk can make jumping into a bezzie mates car look so seedy. We left the ladies to go about their business and we roared off as quickly as the 20mph speed limit would allow.

Anyway, I digress. Asps was already there on arrival. Pleck Balti is not licensed. Regular readers will know that this is a big bug bear of mine but for once I wasn’t bothered. In all honesty I wanted a cup of tea having not had time for one upon getting home from work. I still maintain that I will never take my own booze but this time Josh popped to a local shop and grabbed a couple of Madri and handed me one.

They do a chicken tikka naan. Never heard of this so pounced on that along with a butter chicken main. Poppadoms were ordered but Asps only wanted one which I really couldn’t cope with. There was much catching up to be done and we had a great laugh and the food soon came out.

The butter chicken was great. The chicken tikka naan was ok. Not quite what I was expecting but all parts of the meal were demolished. The bill came and we went £15 each. Complimentary chocolates were provided which always earns extra points.

The lads enjoyed the visit. Josh’s feedback was “great food, amazing company” while Asps went for “great food, cheap as chips.” If you’re intrigued into what they had well I can’t help. I didn’t think to ask. I’m so rubbish at this reviewing lark. Jay Rayner I certainly am not.

Decent visit and we were all back home at a reasonable time. I had that cup of tea eventually.

Royal Lion, 22 Wallows Lane, Walsall. Reviewed 10/11/24

As mentioned in last Sunday’s blog, my mate Paul recently crashed at mine and during our discussions beforehand he asked about Sunday morning breakfast. I asked would he come and review somewhere sexy? and he replied saying he likes sexy, so I earmarked this place.

Royal Lion is situated in what was the King George V pub by Fellows Park (Mozza’s if you were born after the 1980s). It opens at 8am everyday even Sunday which was handy as Paul had a train back up North to catch.

The layout is exactly the same as when it was the pub. When sitting I pointed out where The Crystal Maze machine used to be. Paul commented that I had a look of Richard O’Brien about me. Man if I had just an ounce of that bloke’s creativity I’d be delighted.

I’d shown Paul the breakfast menu the day before and we both knew what we wanted. Royal Full English no tomato or mushroom for me and a Mozart Omelette for Paul. His omelette contains ham, garlic, spinach and cheese served with homemade Focaccia. See I can do details occasionally but it helps that I still have a picture of the menu on my phone.

It didn’t take long for the food to come out, but long enough for me to crack a “your omelette must be taking some composing” gag. I did try my hardest not to say this but it had been eating away at me since he announced his choice the day before.

Food came and the items I didn’t want had been swapped for additional goodness of the other items. My toast was not cut in half which earned bonus points. Any work colleague who has seen me at dinner time over the past 34 years will testify that I do not cut sandwiches in half so it was good to find somewhere with the same principles.

We also got a free bottle of water. I waited and waited for Paul to crack it open but no. It had one of those bottle tops that you get (used to get?) with Grolsch. I clearly am,not a drinker of this and it showed. It felt like I was on The Crystal Maze and Paul should have started whistling the theme to set the scene. He helped me open it in the end. I don’t do technology, even fancy bottle tops.

My breakfast was ace. Loved it. Paul said his omelette was well composed and hit the right notes. It was a good visit. No music but two tv screens had Sky Sports News on.

You can tell it was the George although the decor has had a complete transformation. There was excitement in the toilet as the mirror has a sensor that you can touch to light up the surround. I did this three or four times. Sometimes I do do technology.

The bill puzzled me as it seemed cheap but the waiter explained that hot drinks are free with breakfast which was nice. Friendly place, excellent food and I might do it again before a Saturday home game.

About a month ago my mate Gareth from Newport (the Welsh one) arranged a visit to Walsall. I hadn’t seen him for a couple of years so was well up for the meet which we scheduled for last Saturday after the Walsall v Gillingham match. Because we are so damn good at the moment we had a few international call ups so the match was called off which mean I could meet up earlier.

There was the added bonus of Gareth bringing his new lady Tina who I’d not met before. My first interaction with Tina was the Monday before on a video call, except because I’m an old man I didn’t initially realise it was a video call and put the phone to the side of my head. Only when Gareth said “what am I looking at?” that I realised. It’s a good job I keep my ears scrupulously clear of hairs.

On the morning I started with breakfast at The Walsall Arms. I don’t want to say I was gagging for this but I was already outside when the door opened at 10. It was served quickly and as I started to tuck in, Jodi appeared behind the bar brandishing a remote control and asking if there was anything I wanted to watch. I immediately thought that I need to finish watching series 2 of True Blood but this may not have been suitable viewing for the two children in the vicinity plus I had neither the time nor the budget for sitting in there for 8 hours watching the antics of Sookie Stackhouse so I just said “anything is fine.”

Breakfast was bang on again, Wayne the chef just nails it. He gets the bacon right every time. I can cook a mean English breakfast but never get the bacon right. I asked Jodi if Wayne, her husband is available to do home visit bacon cooking. There could be a money making app in this.

Back home and today’s shirt ironing song was Do You Know? by Enrique. I’m not just about the cook Indie music. I genuinely love this song and the line “do you know how it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?” always reminds me of my last job at Cardboard Boxes 2 Go. In my current job at The Manor Hospital I generally arrive 20 minutes before I start but at the last place I’d always be rocking up with just a minute or so to spare to clock in. One day I couldn’t get in and I was the only person that they hadn’t told that the combination on the front door had changed. I eventually got in but I should have gone home on full pay.

The weather was absolute poo so upon departing I gave a debut to the coat Asps gave me for my birthday. I should have got a picture of me in it for your delectation but I was too excited. Anyway we were meeting up in The Registry and I strolled up to the bar. Someone came up alongside me and asked “are you going to the match?” I had a split second moment of panic. Had I got the date wrong? I said “no, it’s off today.” “Because of the rain?” “No, international call ups.” “Oh, of course yeah I forgot.” Phew.

Gareth and Tina were already in so I found them and we were quickly joined by Swill as well. He was sporting an umbrella so I immediately opened a sweepstake as to when he would lose this as he is renowned for getting through umbrellas. Sadly for Swill homing umbrellas aren’t a thing yet.

The conversation opened and within minutes Swill had steered us onto poo anecdotes. One of his favourite topics. Much hilarity ensued.

We were soon joined by Dan (Morty) and after a short while we headed to The Tap & Tanner. My round and I got served quickly. I asked around and Gareth and Tina both wanted Inch’s so naturally I had a smirk on my face when asking the barmaid for 2 Inch’s. Swill chipped in “Evo likes 2 inches.” The round came to £24 which I was shocked at. Normally I let things slide but for once I queried. She’d charged me for an additional Amstel so knocked £4 off which made me happy. I also had a £2 ham and salad cob, commenting that the salad was putting me off. “Oh it’s easy to get rid of it, it’s not touching the meat”. I’m easily confused and this did me. Turned out it was wrapped separately at the top which surprised me when unwrapping but the ham was good.

Discussions in here included would you do….for£xx? type questions. Turns out I have a low threshold for this kind of thing. I’m a poor man, generally always short of cash so I’d do most things for cash, legally of course. The other discussion was where o go next. Swill said “we could go next door, it’s like a Wetherspoons.” “Like a Wetherspoons?” queried Gareth “so it’s a Wetherspoons?” “Er yeah.”None of us have an issue with Wetherspoons so off to St Matthews Hall it was.

We sat in the Library section. I noted the Managers Special leaflet on the table which was offering Maple Bacon Salad, as it had been on the Monday when I was in for the Friends Of Highgate Brewery monthly meet up. Walsall is clearly not a hotbad of salad as I’ demonstrated in The Tap. If Wayne from the Walsall Arms had been cooking the bacon they might have shifted a few more bowls of it.

It was soon decision time again. Stay for one more or head to Katz. Discussions didn’t really solve it so I proposed a secret ballot. We all covered our eyes and raised our hands to which option we preferred. Obviously as it was done in secret we had no idea of the result so we just headed to Katz.

En route we mentioned The Hippo to Tina, and as it was her first visit to Walsall she had to be introduced. I explained when it was unveiled and where it used to be and how back in the day it was were you’d meet your mates. Like most Walsall folks though I couldn’t answer the question “why have you got a concrete hippo?”

We made it to Katz, there was a band on so we sat outside as the bar area was full. I noticed Swill still had his umbrella. It had made it to pub number 4. Surely a personal best. We were joined by Goughy and Harriet along with Whelan and Beth. Morty was the first to disappear, followed shortly afterwards by Gareth and Tine who were staying at The Lyndon but Gareth needed a Wishbone takeaway like he used to when he lived up here.

I lasted until about 10. To look cool I said I was going to Walsall Arms to break up the joourney home but in truth I’d had enough to drink and just went home.

Great day with top company. Swill’s umbrella didn’t make it home.

Last Saturday it was Walsall v Crewe at Bescot. A match that always sticks out to Saddlers of a certain age and to mark this my old mate Paul Mitchell came down from Bingley to drink beer, watch footie and the great band 5th Chapter then crash at my house. He is my 5th longest standing friend having got chatting to him outside the club shop at Doncaster (a) in 1992. Myself, him and his now wife Cara shared a flat in Hawes Close back in the 90’s before they moved up north but this would be the first time he’d set foot in one of my gaffs since going solo.

He turned up bang on time but I’d forgotten to tell him the bell doesn’t work so eventually he knocked and got in. His first comment was he could tell the house was mine as it’s “very Walsall.” I’ll take that.

We headed to Walsall Arms. Asps was already there having gone early to take advantage of the full English breakfast and pint for £10 deal. We timed our run superbly arriving just as he was up the bar. He got himself an ale along with Oakham “Citra” (me) and Titanic “Plum Porter” (Paul) then we were seated.

Those pints went down well and it was my turn to purchase and just as I approached the bar on came Everlasting Love by Love Affair. I was trying to save my singing voice for the match and live music on the night but this is just one of the best songs ever and I had to give it portions. When I finally meet Mrs Right, that is going to be our song.

Before departing we all visited the loo. Paul commented that it looked a bit suspicious and it probably didn’t help that the capacity of the toilets in there is 3. Two standing and one seated but we had to go.

Next up was Katz and this was busy with fellow Saddlers including Tomo and Sue, Micky Lees, Neil Adams and Marvellous Matt Stacky. It was ace but after a short while there was an exodus to go to Railway Club in Pleck but me and Paul opted to stay put. Asps grabbed a sausage roll and also bought one for me and Paul to share which was unexpected but went down a storm with both of us.

Upon departure Matt gave both of us a Cadbury’s Chocolate Eclair sweet. I eventually popped mine in my mouth just as Paul was looking at Ubers. Suddenly he said the Uber was 2 minutes away. I had to neck a third of a pint with the sweet still in mouth which was a strange beery and chocolate experience. Then I had to say goodbyes and run upstairs to the loo. I eventually got in the car. I still had the Eclair in my mouth. They certainly don’t diminish quickly.

I had a rant in Palfrey at a house with a big Father Christmas outside (it was 9th of November so totally justified) but soon we were on Bescot Crescent. At the retail park the traffic was stationary so Paul told the driver that we would get out there so he could turn round. We got out, he didn’t turn round. Instead he sped off down the now clear road in front of him while we started the additional 10,000 steps that had now been added to our day.

The crowd at the match was just over 8000 which I think is the biggest for a league game in years. The ref was shit and bought into all of their coffee house tricks of the opposition. I think if one of our players had farted in a Crewe players direction he would have awarded them a free kick and reached for a card. They took the lead. Don’t ask for a description I was still in the bar even though I wasn’t drinking. Well, I say that but I’d have had a coffee had the vending machine been working.

I was in the stand for our equaliser. We could have nicked it, the ref must have been on a promise as he didn’t add on any additional time despite numerous stoppages during injury time. The draw was probably a fair result but it was nice to see the ground so busy and I got nowhere near my season ticket seat. Saying that though I don’t get near it when the crowd is low, and I don’t even know which seat it is. I know the row so I’m awarding myself a point for that.

I headed to The Locker to meet Paul who had been in the upper tier in the ground. For some reason there was only 3 lights on, at the other end of the room to where we were and we could hardly see a bloody thing. Guys we’ve just had a big crowd you can afford to put more lights on. Paul spotted that I somehow had an ant on my head, which he blew off. Crack your own jokes, I’m not that puerile.

The DJ was in excellent form and it was a good atmosphere. The DJ who took mine and Liam’s picture in The Crown for the recent Willenhall blog was in and he came to say hello. Chuffed that he remembered me after that one off meeting and recognised me amongst the gloom.

It was soon Uber time again. Paul found one that wanted to pick us up on the Broadway – quite the stroll from where we were. “Say it doesn’t work like George” was my response. True though, it would have been far quicker for him to drive down as the traffic was now clearing, unless he wanted to charge a waiting fee. We declined him and found one who would pick us up from outside. Things you have to be grateful for nowadays eh?

We went back to mine so Paul could change then walked to Walsall Arms with me getting a drive by “Evoooooo” on Pool Street from Laura and Pezza who had just had a successful mission at Danny’s Chicken.

We met Kay and Simon in there, had a couple of beers then made our own visit to Danny’s. Paul was not happy that paying by card isn’t an option in there. The line “cash is King” is not in Paul’s vocabulary as it is with most people. He proper grumbled at having to use the in store cash point. Pez and Laura had done a job. They must had cleaned the place out as we had to wait for food but we didn’t mind. I had a chicken burger which was epic and one piece of chicken. It’s such a good place this.

We ambled down to The Watering Trough. Landlady Angie was on and declared that she loves me as I walked up the bar. Nice welcome. She then told me to try the Mild. I’m not really a Mild drinker but it was a decent pint.

We were there to watch the band 5th Chapter featuring fellow Walsall FC fan Martin Key on bass guitar. I’ve seen them twice before, never sober and I wasn’t exactly that at this juncture either but for once I was going to see the whole set having got there late the other two times.

A few other Walsall fans were in so it was another good crowd. 5th Chapter do covers of great songs and lead guitarist and singer Ellie nails them. We had classics like All The Small Things, I Predict A Riot, Teenage Kicks, Naive and Are You Gonna Be My Girl?

During the interval I nipped to the loo and was was joined at the urinals by a lad who struck up conversation saying he’s from Birmingham and that Walsall is amazing. Naturally I agreed post haste. There was some context as to how he had come to this conclusion but I cannot remember it for the life of me. Sorry. I don’t minute everything that goes on during my days.

Set 2 began with 20th Century Boy, a song which I always thought began with the line “Wednesday’s fine, Wednesday’s good.” Fortunately I recently heard the Placebo version and clocked what it actually is. It was nice to sing it correctly or everyone in the pub would have pointed and stared.

More goodness followed in the form of Not 19 Forever, and one of my favourite Beatles songs Twist & Shout. The encore was held up by the drummer disappearing with someone shouting “he’s gone for a shit”. He returned, Ellie declared “he’s finished his shit” which got a big cheer. Final song was Chelsea Dagger, which is an epic way to round off any night.

Cracking evening, band was ace, Ellie was on good form interacting withe audience including telling Paul to “fuck off back to Bradford” when he gave banter. Song of the night was a magnificent rendition of Basket Case.

Class day, with great people.

Last Saturday there was a Friends Of Highgate Brewery coach trip to Preston. I’d not been there since 2014 so wanted in. On that occasion it was Mark Cassell’s stag do. Walsall were away there and beer flowed. It was already 1-1 in the match when we eventually left the nearby pub. After the match the plan was to have a couple of pints then head back to Blackpool where our hotel rooms were booked. However instead we stopped at every pub between Deepdale and the railway station. The rule that you cannot pass a pub certainly came into play that day and it was magnificent. We finally made it to Blackpool just before midnight and I nearly pulled in one of the two pubs that we manged there. It was a superb day so when this coach trip was announced it was a straight case of take my money.

First job upon stepping off the coach was to clear out my coat pocket of losing McDonald’s Monopoly stickers after I’d sorted them from the instant win ones in my wallet. If anyone in the Preston area needs a Park Lane to win £100k, there are 4 of them in the bin by The Twelve Tellers.

We’d been given maps and pub guides on the way up and the only must visit for me was Vinyl Tap described as a music themed pub with 5 real ales, food and live entertainment. Win win win. However upon checking the map it looked the furthest out of town so I disregarded it. More on that later.

First pub was Black Horse. I’d mentioned to legendary blogger Blackpool Jane about the trip, she came to meet us and was waiting in here. You can catch her excellent blog here. This pub is grade II listed and has numerous rooms. I ordered Robinson’s Amarillo Pale Ale which was described as zesty and vibrant. The friendly barmaid explained it was a bit lively. I joked that it did say vibrant in the bio. She game me a bit more in a separate glass to make up for the head which was very decent of her. Naturally I explored all the rooms and it was easy to see why this is the local CAMRA branche’s Pub Of The Year twice on the bounce.

The sizeable group in there became a smaller faction of Bob, Steve Jane and I and next up was Plau which is a bar on one level and Tapas House on the other. I explored again finding a dining room at the back and a very Victorian style toilet cubicle upstairs which looked very ornate. I didn’t check out the tapas area as I’d already got my steps in for the day and there was beer to drank. The barman was very friendly but the till is up a set of stairs from the bar which I’ve never seen before. I wouldn’t last a shift with that set up. We found out afterwards that there is also a “Gay Cellar” but I missed that when I was exploring. Shame as I’ve been playing Oh L’amour by Erasure a lot of late and I’d have certainly asked for that.

Stop 3 was Chain House, a pub with it’s own brewery in house. Discussions in here included Steve asking if we remembered a famous beef burger advert, which turned out to be the Accrington Stanley milk one.

There were two toilets, both with descriptions on the door as to what lay behind. The first door said one accessible toilet. I quite liked the thought of the other door having an inaccessible toilet that maybe you have to climb over a wall or something to get to. One man opened this door, clearly didn’t like the content so opted for the other. I later checked this out and it had a proper toilet right next to a urinal, with no dividing column. A bit like The R1 Bar in Walsall used to have. So you can have a dump while your mate has a piss and catch up on some gossip while in there.

Jane asked if I had any must do pub today and I just mentioned Vinyl Tap. She deduced that it was only five minutes walk away but as we reached this place we’d bumped into a group who had just been and reported it as closed. Eventually we found out online that it opened at 2. It was now 1.30. Steve kept ringing the number to check but had no joy. He opted not to risk it as we set off at 2 and he stayed put for another.

On the way we came across an erect ladder. Bob and Jane just marched under it but I hesitated. There were vans parked up so it would have meant walking into the road to get around. I decided that I’d had plenty of bad luck in my life so a bit more wouldn’t hurt so I walked beneath. Soon after we met another couple of lads who had also waited until 2 for the Vinyl Tap but had said it was still closed. I blamed myself for the ladder.

We headed back more central. Jane ventured into Plau to check out the gay cellar but quickly came back saying that she couldn’t even see the beer pulls as it was just a sea of men. Next up was Plug & Taps. Acquiesce my favourite Oasis song came on just as I entered which was nice. We timed our run to get here perfectly as we got served straight away but soon the queue was back to the door. The music was good throughout as Happy Mondays and Supergrass also featured. However the highlight here was the sign in the unisex toilet. I was still beaming at it when I came out, and Jane asked why. She’d missed it on her visit but went back in to check it out and it was worth her while.

We needed to head to the the market place next. On a bench are statues of Wallace and Gromit. Naturally I had to pose for a picture with them and recreated the walk from The Wrong Trousers as I left. I didn’t know that their creator was from Preston which I assume is why the naughty dog in A Close Shave has that name.

Penultimate port of call was Orchard. This is small and was very busy but we found the sole available table and got round it. Steve was the star of the show in here with hilarious anecdotes from his past.

Last up was Guild Ale House. We grabbed beers and I enquired about crisps and the barman relayed several flavours but black pudding jumped out at me. Not had that flavour before. Turns out they were black pudding and mustard and the m word was not referenced at the point of purchase, and this was the strong flavour but they were still good. Despite being English with a French granddad I don’t do mustard. I might have to start.

We headed upstairs and joined Dennis and Keith but before long it was departure time. We said goodbye to Jane (isn’t that a Slade song?) who was heading back to Blackpool but it was so good to see her. I boarded the coach and immediately checked the Walsall score to find out that we were 3-0 up at Grimsby. The coach was late departing and by the time it did we had won 4-1. Happy days to quote my great mate Josh.

As is tradition we stopped at The Holy Inadequate in Stoke on the way back. Apologies for the lack of pub exterior photo but last time I was fannying around taking shots and then of course was back of the queue with everyone off the coach. There was also a load of passing rugby fans in there along with the locals. This time I was third through the door and served straight away. By the time the queue died down I reckoned I could get another pint in before departure and threw in a pork pie too to make it worth paying by card.

We were soon back in Walsall. There was a great band on in Katz that I’ve seen twice before but opted not to go as I’m doing go sober for October. If you’re not familiar with this it’s a challenge and you’re not allowed to get drunk this month. I figured a few more pints would have me edging towards that kind of level so I opted to be a good boy and I was home in time for the Consumer Hour on LBC. Marvellous day.

When the Walsall v Bromley match on October 12th was called off due to international call ups, I thought I’d use that now free time very wisely. Let’s go on a pub crawl of Willenhall as I’ve not done this in a few years. I messaged my mate and former SciChem colleague Liam who lives that way and he said he could only do the Friday. No probs there, Friday night it is.

I thought I’d experiment with a short cut leaving work. I turned left at the end of the West Wing and exited the building opposite the new A&E. I’ve not used this exit before so it was very exciting.

I must say the pavement heading away is shocking but I didn’t clock this until I nearly went over on my ankle. Thankfully I didn’t need a closer look at A&E and quickly continued. I headed down Forrester Street and it brought me out by the 529 bus stop. For once a plan had worked. I was en route and it was only 4.42pm. I then remembered that I wasn’t meeting Liam until 7. I should have taken a long cut instead.

To kill time I went in McDonalds on the edge of Willenhall. Routine visit but my Mozzarella Dippers didn’t have the two Monopoly stickers on that they should have done. This could have been my Mayfair getting moment. I was going to have the place up but I had Mozzarella Dippers to eat so just sat down and shut up.

I walked from there into Wilenhall. I didn’t know that The Oak had closed, but was aware The Prince Of Wales had and that looked a sorry sight. I still had plenty of time so decided to go exploring the back streets, mainly as I wanted to check where Ring O Bells is as despite having gone there before I wasn’t too sure.

Then I got a message off Liam, he was somewhat early. 40 minutes so to be precise. He was 5 minutes away so I quit the exploring and soon we were in The County, the first of 6 pubs on the to do list.

I’ve not had beer with Liam since September 2021 which looking back was the start time of my big 6 month downer which took over my life. I did mention this but quickly pointed out that supping with him didn’t cause the downer. First discussion was the usual “who are you still in touch with from SciChem?” Nobody really on his part where I’ve still got a few pals from there.

The pub was busy, there was a DJ deck set up in there which I’ve not known in this pub before. Music was mixed but generally ok. We weren’t there long and as we departed people were jumping into our graves before I’d finished pushing my chair in. Good to see the place so busy.

The Royal George was next. This had the biggest Madri banner I’d ever seen outside. It was mossiv. Inside Liam got the round and I had Madri. The advertising had clearly done a job. Another busy pub and it was absolute standing room only. I’ve seen a few things on Twitter on how the pub scene is dying but the first two boozers were offering plenty to the contrary.

Next up was The Three Crowns. A pub I’ve been in before but up the top of the market so usually missed off on pub crawls. It roared back onto my radar when we had a Friends pf Highgate Brewery social there for the first time in August. The beer was great, dtaff and locals were friendly and they even put a buffet on for us. I had a nice chat with the landlords mom as I was leaving and I promised I’d be back and I like to think I keep my promises. Only took 2 months too, much quicker than my usual return visits.

This was a new one on Liam. He’s walked past it lots but never fancied it but he hadn’t even got through the door and he spotted Forged Irish Stout on the bar, he was sold immediately. I went for Yorkshire Pale Ale, but I didn’t note the brewery. It was served in a glass with finger groves built in. I only know of these previously from very short lived Bud Silver bottles around 2006.

The beer was so good on both of our parts and they didn’t last long. We had finished our pints in pub no 3 and it was only 7.43. Needless to say a motion to stay for a second was quickly proposed, seconded and passed unanimously.

The music was really good. On came one of my all time faves, Set You Free by N-Trance. I immediately sounded the “Song Of The Night” award klaxon. Next up was Vengabus by Vengaboys. Liam called this for the award. I countered that we couldn’t both have a song for this and that we needed an absolute banger to unify the titles. I half expected Eddie Hearn to walk in at this point as he loves a unification bout.

Next up was The Workers Rest. I was worried that this had closed as it hadn’t come up on my Pubs Galore search on the dinner break. Liam said it was now called The Loft and was just two minutes away and he was not lying on either count.

I love this pub. Probably the most me pub in Willenhall. It was busy and karaoke was on. We sat where we could see the performers and I told Liam of my internet based search for a lady, including e-harmony which has been a failure so far and then Facebook Dating which has been somewhat more interesting. I still think I need to grow a pair and actually chat up a lass in a pub. I need a night on the pull as I we used to say back in the 90’s.

Ring O Bells was next, Liam guided us there but it was in darkness and we just stood there looking it at for a few seconds. Then I heard a noise. It sounded like the door was being unlocked. Was this a new kind of pub which looks closed but they are observing from inside and let you in if they like the look of you?

The door opened and a man appeared. “Are you open?” asked Liam. “No, we’re closed.” “Permanently?” I asked. I’m not one for joining in conversations but this was desperate times. “No, just for tonight. Back open tomorrow.” He shut the door behind him and wandered off down the street. The Crown then.

The Crown is a great pub. Nice corner building and usually my last or penultimate pub due to its closeness to the 529 stop. It was karaoke in here too but the in between music was 80’s. On came Candy by Cameo. I yelled “this is our unification song of the night.” Liam claimed that he didn’t know it. To try and swing it I even joined in with the line “I toss and turn in my bed in the morning when I think about you” although I was at pains to point out that I was singing this at him and not to him. He made a further claim that he’d never heard it before. Bloody youngsters. We didn’t manage to unify the titles.

We had a couple of beers and obligatory photos in here. We asked the karaoke man to take the one shot and he said my bald heads was affecting the lighting. This brought back memories of when I appeared on the ITV Sport Channel quiz Do I Not Know That? back in 2001. On that occasion the floor manager strode over and put make up on my head citing that it was causing a glare in the lights.

Liam crashed us both a pack of pork scratchings (most of which were eaten on the way to The Walsall Arms for breakfast the following morning) with the last round, and I then got a taxi home. Epic night, and I thinkwe’ll do it again, even if it’s just Ring O Bells. We aint leaving it 3 years again though Liam.

Thanks to everyone who read last weeks blog. I needed and enjoyed the break but it’s nice to be back writing again. And you know I love writing about food so here goes.

Spice Hut, 24 Bradford Street, Walsall.

It was August 28th, the town of Walsall was gripped with League Cup 3rd round draw excitement as we waited to find out who our team would get. The draw was scheduled for 22.15 (eventually happened at 22.45) so to kill a bit of time before this I went to see if the extended Heron in the Saddlers Centre had reopened. Upon reaching the car park of said centre I looked across and saw the balloon arch outside here and thought this reopening was more exciting. On my penultimate food review blog I was on about how the former Kebab Ranch had a new name just before Easter. Well now it has another moniker. Changed it’s name more times than Cheryl Tweedy this place.

I walked in and looked up at the menu but then a nice man rushed out and handed me a paper copy which I could sit down and peruse. I thought with a name like Spice Hut it would do curry but no. The spices didn’t stretch that far.

They do smash burgers. I have no idea what these are, I’m intrigued but always too scared to ask. I opted for 8 peri chicken wings and peri fries. There must have been an opening day offer on as he charged me less than the peri wings should have been.

They didn’t hang about with the food and I even got an apology for them being served in a box and an explanation that they had been let down with their plates delivery. I did think that they could have nipped to one of the local Greek restaurants, and borrowed some of their plates to save them from a sad demise but didn’t mention this as I had food to demolish.

The chicken wings were amazing. Service was very friendly, he’d rushed to bring me bottles of sauce even though I didn’t want or ask for them but it was a nice touch. There was no music which I was fine with.

I popped to Heron afterwards and it hadn’t reopened but it had by the next day and now it serves booze. Extended it to get a beer fridge in. See, not every development these days is rubbish. Anyway, top marks to Spice Hut and as I pass it on the way home from work I’ll be back.

Bun & Peri, 269 Wednesbury Road, Walsall.

I had a little spare time post work and pre Walsall v Fleetwood match and needed to line the stomach. I’d been craving Wotsits all day but didn’t think a pack of those would soak up the beer so went for food. I’m currently just Mayfair short of winning £100k on McDonald’s Monopoly but opted against trying to glean that and headed to Pleck instead.

Completely new tick this one. Smash burgers available. I was scared to ask again. I will have one one day I promise. I opted for a peri chicken burger (no lettuce). Medium spice wasn’t listed as an option so just to be awkward I asked if I cold have it and he said yes. I also asked what Ghetto Niblets were. “Spicy” came the reply. Sod it, I’ll try them.

I sat down facing the window and played my freshly invented game of guessing which passing cars were heading to the match and which were looking for prostitutes. The food didn’t take long to come and the burger was good and the Ghetto Niblets were epic. Spicy yes, nose running spicy in fact.

No music, save for a bit from a fellow customer who had remembered his mobile but forgotten his headphones.

Good visit this but in hindsight with the match being such a disaster (we lost 6-2) I maybe should have skipped the food and just started drinking. I finally had the pack of Wotsits 2 days later.

Brownhills Cafe & Grill, 34 High Street, Brownhills.

I think this is quite new having seen it on the Brownhills Bob Facebook group so I jumped on the number 10 and headed over.

There is a menu in the window so I gave that a gander. There are 11 set breakfast options, with more permutations underneath. Mavis from Open All Hours would be in her element deciding what to have. To be far, it was to early for me to even consider making such an important decision so I opted for one which required minimal “no…” requests.

I marched in and asked for “set breakfast 1 with no mushrooms please.” “Do you want anything else instead?” I like it when this is allowed so requested black pudding which was fine. They young lady serving was very friendly and pleasant and the tip tray on the counters seemed to be doing good business so others ms have thought so too.

I studied the menu more while waiting and it turns out that you can make two swoops on the set breakfast. Sense. They do a Bounty milkshake, and a hot chocolate with cream and a Flake. Ok, you got me. I’m definitely coming back for one of those.

Food came quickly and I’d got two slices of black pudding and the toast was cut horizontally which earns many bonus points. More cafes should do this.

Breakfast was ace and it was £8.50 for it and a mug of tea. Once finished I relaxed for a couple of ,minutes but the picture of the hot chocolate kept winking at me. For once I’d got time on my hands and as it’s now October, the first month of the year where you are legally allowed to drink hot chocolate I had one. And it was ace.

There is one unisex toilet, located up the back passage. Music was Absolute Radio which suited me but not at an intrusive level. Highlight was Snap Out Of It by Arctic Monkeys.

Very pleasant visit this. I’m already looking forward to that Bounty milkshake on my next visit.

Project Bun, 23 Caldmore Green, Walsall.

It was last Sunday. It was wet but I still fancied getting a review in so I donned appropriate clothing and headed into Caldmore.

This place opened on the 30th August and I passed it on the bus a couple of days before and spotted the sign and 50% off offer on opening night. Opening night though I was at Josh’s eating a massive home cooked mixed grill so it’s taken until now for me to tick it off.

It’s very smart inside. Lots of tables and you have to walk passed a row of 9 circular mirrors to reach the counter. So if your hair looks rubbish as you walk in, you have 8 more mirrors to perfect it before ordering.

I was intrigued by the Game Changer Fries. These came with in house spicy sauce topped with parsley. I’m a sucker for a good name and this one worked for me. I hope you’re sitting down for this but I ordered a Smash Burger (no lettuce). This came witch cheese and Hannibal Sauce. Service was very friendly and the lady advised if I had a drink it would work out the same price. I don’t drink pop anymore but requested Pepsi Max thinking all the other cans of pop in my fridge could use a new friend.

The music was low and it was all unfamiliar. I wasn’t sure if one song was a Craig David track that I didn’t know or if it was somebody trying to sound like Craig David, whilst singing a track I didn’t know.

Food came quickly and the burger was good. The fries though? Deffo game changer. I’ve not had fries with sauce like that, it had a kick. At the risk of sounding like the advert I had to reach for the Pepsi Max. Apologies to the cans in my fridge. Your new friend isn’t coming home.

Nice visit this. Not sure about future visits as it’s in a part of Caldmore that I don’t really ever walk through but I certainly aint ruling it out. Can I be totally honest at this point? Despite having one, I still don’t know what a Smash Burger is. Everyday isn’t a school day in my life.

Uncle Phil’s, 498- 500 Pleck Road, Walsall.

Formerly Mother Hubbard’s which I liked but it didn’t last long as that and now Uncle Phil’s – Fresh Taste Of Bel Air. If you Google it, it comes up as Walsall’s best chippy but it’s not like a normal chip shop as it only does fish and chips of the standard fayre. So if want a battered jumbo sausage you’ll be out of luck.

This was another straight from work jobbie on Thursday this week, and walk able from the Manor Hospital so had to be re-ticked.

For once I’d done my research before and checked out the menu online. They do a “super jumbo” fish and chips which costs £19.95 which they say feeds up to 4. I went for the large at £11.95, I also had curry sauce which brought it up to £13 something (I wasn’t listening to be honest).

She advised it would be 15 minutes which was fine. Gave me time to study the menu and decor. They do Philly’s Phinest which is a massive locking baton with rib eye steak and cheese sauce which looks amazing. A sign on the wall asks which 9 letter word means perfection? Fish & chips. Quirky but I’m not sure that Susie Dent would be allowing it on Countdown.

The fish was epic. Chips were ok but Uncle Phil if you’re reading if you could introduce Black Country Gold i.e orange battered chips, then yeah the best chippy claim would have more legs. The curry sauce was good but needed to be bigger. They did provide two other pots of sauce, the spicy mayo being good.

I didn’t know what the music was but it was low so not a problem. This was a decent visit. I love fish so it wasn’t going to be rubbish. It’s open until 2am on Friday and Saturdays and 1am the others. Good job this wasn’t here back around the Millenium when I used to walk from The Fitters Arms (near the Arboretum), via Pleck Road back to Darlaston. I’d have been a regular. I won’t be a regular now to be honest but it’s certainly likely to be revisited ahead of a Tuesday night game or two.

Apologies for the lack of Fresh Prince Of Bel Air references. I only watched it once and that was decades ago.

Last Friday didn’t start well. The plan was to take clothes to work so I could get changed there and head straight out. It was pissing down. I wasn’t carrying a shirt on a coat hanger in the rain. Plan b was quickly concocted. I’d taxi home after work and get changed here. What could go wrong? Like most things in my life, everything. More on that later.

I’d ironed my shirt the night before and I know you’re always interested in my choice of music whilst doing this. I opted for Janie’s Got A Gun by Aerosmith. There is a backstory. I’d being playing this song a lot of late then one day on my eharmony (dating website) feed a lady with that name appeared. I messaged, but didn’t ask if she’d got a gun. I was going to casually raise this on the first date. She didn’t reply so I’ll never know if she’s got one or not.

I digress. For plan b to work I just needed some pounds for the taxi fare. I got to work and the cash machine was out of order. Marvellous. The day was in ruins and it wasn’t yet 07.30. I know you’re all now shouting “Uber” but I aint got shit like that on my phone. This is me we are on about. However during the morning discussions I got confirmed that the shop on Ida Road has a cash machine, so a quick dash at dinner times and the plans were back on. I even rewarded myself on a successful mission with a sausage roll. More on Ida Road soon, possibly even in the next paragraph.

I don’t get taxis home often and when I do I don’t like to keep them waiting. My department is right at the back of the Manor Hospital so I order when I’m halfway towards the main entrance. This time though I had the best idea ever. Why don’t I ask the taxi to come to the back of the hospital and pick me up on Ida Road? I can order the taxi straight away and this will save me lots of time.

I ordered the taxi, re-iterated twice I was at the 2nd Ida Road gate and waited. And waited. Eventually I get a call. He was at the front entrance and couldn’t quite get that I was at the other end. Eventually he asks “are you going to walk through” but before I could say “George, it would be quicker for you to drive round” he hung up on me.

I waited and waited then I get another call, this time from the first man. I explained again where I was and eventually my taxi came. I didn’t know this but there was a small closure on Ida Road so we had to go down three speed bump filled streets before reappearing back on Ida Road just down from where he had picked me up. Finally, 29 minutes after I finished work, my taxi crossed Pleck Road (main road outside the hospital). I’d have been nearly home had I walked.

No further hitches occurred and I was back in town and heading for the railway station in no time. It was Sean’s birthday celebrations (part 1) and I was meeting him and Sammy and some others in Birmingham. It all went well in the end and my train pulled in just as Sean’s taxi was arriving. He asked me to wait outside the Wetherspoons at the station, knowing full well I approve of pubs as geographical reference points.

Sean arrived, coming in through an entrance I didn’t know about and announcing that he’d run up the steps like Rocky Balboa. I said that I probably wouldn’t be doing the same later. First up was Sunflower Lounge on nearby Smallbrook Queensway. Never heard of this place so it was nice to get a new tick. I greeted Sammy and was introduced to Zoey, Drew, Clare and Connor. Turned out that I’d been introduced to Zoey and Drew at Sean’s bands recent gig at The Watering Trough, but I was somewhat drunk when that happened and this was referenced by Zoey and Sammy which made me laugh. I vaguely remembered meeting people at that juncture but Sammy could have introduced me to Patsy Kensit that night and it probably wouldn’t have registered.

Sean tried to take a group selfie but a passing lady stopped and offered to take it. Noticing his birthday badge she commented that it was her birthday on the Sunday which Sean then remarked was also his. She loved this, took the picture then rushed to buy Sean a birthday shot. Impressive 5 minute cameo from the lass. I made a mental note to try and find her ahead of my 51st birthday next year.

Inspired by Sean’s shot, Zoey leapt up and bought us all a Fireball. It was 19.09. I thought the night might get messy but wasn’t expecting shots this early. It was good though.

We headed to Ming Moon where we had a karaoke booth booked. The all you can eat buffet was on the main floor and we went down a spiral staircase and then another stairway to the booth. I’m no Carol Vorderman but I did a quick sum. Alcohol in system + stairs + carrying a plate of food = potential carnage.

I was sat by the order drinks button which really wasn’t a good idea. It could have been worse though. Sean could have been by the order drinks button. The lights went down, the volume went up and we were good to go.

We got drinks, sang a couple of songs then it was enter stage right – me. My song of the year is Nothing Matters by The Last Dinner Party so I thought I’d do that. I really don’t have the posh English accent like the lady who sings it normally but I think I gave it a good go, putting some real emphasis on the chorus.

We grabbed food, obviously I dived on king prawns and various chicken things but then came the highlight. Pork belly. There were some other words but God knows what they were. They’d grabbed my attention with the first two. Going down that spiral staircase with a full plate felt a bit like being on It’s A Knockout but it was well worth it when completing the descent. Food was epic.

Drew went to sing Backstreet Boys I Want It That Way. Everybody (Backstreet’s Back) by them is my absolute karaoke song. I nail it, then just when everyone is loving it I up the nailing. I mentioned this and was handed a microphone. First time I’ve done karaoke sitting down but it was a great duet.

More singing and good times followed. Zoey got up to sing I Guess That’s Why The Call It The Blues and I shouted “great song” and was handed a mic. I’ve got to be honest, upon arrival I didn’t expect to be dueting on Elton John with a lovely lady but it was a great performance from us both and I really enjoyed it. Another duet in the form of me and Sean doing The Smiths This Charming Man occurred. I had no flowers to swing around but did the motions anyway, which felt good but probably not as pleasing to watch as Mozza doing it properly.

My last turn was Always by Blink 182. A song I’ve always wanted to perform but wasn’t sure how it would work. I did comment halfway through that it was harder to sing on karaoke than when washing up. Good to to practice it with just 6 people watching rather than a baying audience like you get in a pub. Not sure how women in pubs of Walsall would cope with me singing “come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you always, Kiss you, taste you all night, always.” I guess we’ll find out soon.

Performance of the night came from Drew singing Rap God by Eminem. I didn’t know this one but he belted it out and how he found time to breathe I’ll never know.

Our time slot ended at 10.45, there were photos then goodbyes. Clare and Connor were getting the same train as me and they hoped I knew where New Street was, just as I was hoping they did. Sean said it was a straight road and he was bang on. I didn’t run up the steps like Rocky Balboa.

There were 20 minutes before the trains departure and old me would have dived into Wetherspoons for a quick one but I only drink responsibly these days.

Back in Walsall I jumped into a taxi outside the station. He clearly wasn’t happy with his fare and instead of going straight up Caldmore Road like my taxi earlier, he must have clocked how much I love this town and took me on a nice sight seeing tour including the back of ASDA car park, St Matts Church, Lyndon House, Flans and Trough et al. Had it been 10 minutes earlier when the Walsall Arms doors were still open, I’d have cut short his shenanigans and asked to be dropped by The Royal Hotel and darted up there.

What a great night Sean. Thanks for the invite. It’s got me thinking. I’ve not had a birthday bash outside of Walsall since the legendary Rugeley night in 2015. I may have to let the train take the strain next year.

Domino’s Pizza, 180 Stafford Street, Walsall.

Recently opened new branch this. To replace I assume the now closed one on Lichfield Street. The car parking outside this new one may have been a factor in the move. I love Domino’s but never really have it. This place used to be a Kwik-Fit car garage then a carpet shop before changing to its current use. I’m guessing my Doctor and Bank Manager are both pleased that it wasn’t a Domino’s when I was living around the corner on Lewis Street.

I’d announced at work that I was going here and Tom my Vegan colleague recommended the Chicken Kickers. I did query this but he pointed out that he hasn’t had them since converting.

I had an issue straight away. The in-store menus don’t list what toppings are on the pizzas. I find that most pizzas have at least 1 thing on that I don’t want. For example the Mighty Meaty has onion and mushrooms on it. It’s not called the Mighty Meaty With Added Shit is it?

Anyway, I had to access the menu on my phone but first I had to put my post code in, then pick between collection or delivery, pick a store and then my God I could look at the pizzas. You had to click on each one though to view the toppings. It was a ball ache. I’ve never known choosing food to be so arduous. Had to dock points for this especially as when a pop up came and when I cleared it it took me back to the choose store screen.

I started to think ‘bloody hell, I’ve got work tomorrow’, and I made a pact at that point to just have the next thing that didn’t have any crap on it. This turned out to be the Ranch BBQ. Chicken breast strips, pepperoni, smoked bacon, ground beef, bbq sauce and Mozzarella. Medium and as I’d never had stuffed crust that was chosen too along with the aforementioned Chicken Kickers.

I was asked my name upon ordering which threw me. Never had this before. I know it happens in Starbucks but I don’t frequent those. So I said my name twice, pronouncing it correctly and also spelling it out Mikee for added clarity.

The lad behind me was also caught out by this. He had to be asked his name 3 times before saying “Robert” tentatively in an unconvincing tone.

My food came quickly and when he announced it he called me Micky which I hate so I had to dock more points for that. It could have been worse I guess. If he’d called me Michael I’d have been over the counter and having the place up.

Anyway the pizza was good, stuffed crust epic and the initial plan to save a couple of slices for work the next day went completely out of the window. Chicken Kickers really good too.

Just before I departed a female customer came in and the first question she asked was “what size is the medium pizza?” I knew what she meant. She was clearly thinking about inches but still, it took every sinew of my resolve not to shout “medium” at her.

Decent visit in the end though.

UFC Shawarma, Park Street Arcade, Walsall.

This place opened recently. I had been meaning to tick it off just not on this occasion. I left my house with a plan A for food which failed. Hastily thought of plans B & C also didn’t happen so I was ready to eat anything by the time I arrived here. I hadn’t visited so many eateries in such a short amount of time since the joyous days of Eat Out To Help Out.

Anyway I get to the bus station somewhat ravenous and malnourished to find the passageway to Park Street absolutely teaming with Police. I had no idea what had gone on. An elderly couple in front of me asked if they could go though and one copper said yes. I asked the same one if I could go in the takeaway and was ignored, so I took that as a yes. To be fair after all the steps I’d unexpectedly put in, wild horses were not stopping me going in.

I strolled in and opted for the fish burger to be told they hadn’t got any and were waiting for them to be delivered. I know some carriers like to deliver just as the staff are about to go home so I wasn’t waiting for that. The fish fingers caught my eye but as they were on the kids menu I thought better of it. I went Lamb Shawarma with fries. The man put peri peri salt on the fries which made them really good.

There was music, don’t ask what. I’ve no idea what any of it was. Food was good and it seemed like a few people were popping in.

Lee Garden, 131 Weston Street, Walsall.

It was the last Sunday of July, a glorious day and in my opinion far too hot to cook. Although if the temperature was absolute zero I’d probably still say it was too hot to cook and venture out. I fancied a stroll in the Sun as my intake of Vitamin D via this medium has been lacking of late so off on an amble to Weston Street I went.

My colleague Carole and I had been talking about when this was a legendary chip shop back in the 80’s and what a sad loss it was. I have used this as a Chinese but not since both The Fullbrook and White Lion closed as I no longer walk back that way from the match.

I walked in and perused the menu on the wall. This was purely academic and to keep the lad behind the counter interested. I knew what I wanted. Sweet and Sour Prawn Balls. I have gone mad for these of late and wanted to see if they are as good as the ones from Lucky Star next to Katz.

I went up the counter, which still had a plastic screen proud and erect on it, which brought a nice feel of 2020 to the proceedings. I crouched down to find the gap at the bottom and proceeded to say “king prawn….” I was getting my order wrong. My default setting of king prawn fried rice was trying to do a manual override. I stopped, apologised and tried again. Got it right. One of these days I will get confident and good at talking to people but maybe not in this life.

Options for entertainment during the cooking time were restricted to a television showing Andy Murray and Dan Evans playing tennis, or a near two week old copy of The Sun. I opted to make notes. I glanced up shortly afterwards, Evans and Murray were celebrating. I hadn’t realised match point was imminent. Me missing something important during sport? Never.

The food came just as I put my phone away which disappointed me as I did want to check my horoscope to see if that days predictions had come true. They probably hadn’t. It usually stuff like “single? You’ll find love linked to number 47 and have a cracking shag” and it’s always bollocks.

It’s cash only at this place and the sweet and sour prawn balls are £6.60. They were good and needless to say I dropped a small amount of the red sauce down me. I was pleased that I’d taken my white t-shirt off before proceeding. Alright ladies, calm down. It’s not a Diet Coke break.

Good visit this. Wish it was still that chip shop though.

The Farmers Boy, Barns Lane, Rushall.

Josh has me round his house for food all the time. Seriously I’d be thinner than Posh Spice if it wasn’t for him. Yes, feel free to shout “oh no you wouldn’t.” So I offered to take him out for dinner to this place and as he’s never been in before he quickly agreed.

We arrived just as delegates for some kind of scooter rally were also rocking up so we dashed in to try and beat the queue. The menu was extensive and covered a lot of bases but I’d had the Chip Shop Platter on my previous visit so was always heading back to there. Josh opted for Ribs And Wings. I offered a starter of wings to share, completely oblivious to the fact that Josh was having wings with his Ribs And Wings. Definitely a clue there if I’d known where to look.

I glanced and offered Chicken Goujons which Josh was happy with. I was far too excited to read the blurb underneath this entry. More on that later. Service was quick and I think the bill came to £38 for the starter, 2 platters and 2 pints of Inch’s. Very decent.

Don’t ask what the music was. I honestly don’t remember. We were busy nattering and generally talking bollocks which is what we do best. Genuinely the only music memory of I have of the night is from The Walsall Arms where Josh randomly showed me the Wham Club Tropicana video, as it’s a fave of his from when he was a kid and I’d not seen it.

The goujons came quickly and were good. I dipped first in the white sauce which was nice. Josh went red and reported that it had a bit of a kick to it. I don’t mind spice so waded in. He was not being dramatic. God it was. I checked the menu and the sauce is Carolina Reaper which I have learnt from social media posts is a bit warm. Naturally I had two more dips to look hard.

The mains came out and Josh absolutely demolished his. I’d called him Charlie Bucket earlier in the day as he was going to Cadbury World again and now he was wolfing his food down like said character does in the film with that Wonka Bar he buys with the money he finds.

My Chip Shop Platter was ace. Fish (this was mossiv. “You’re going to need a bigger boat” kind of size), scampi and a fishcake. Epic stuff. We both enjoyed our food, company was excellent and having Inch’s on tap just added to the goodness. “Happy days” to use one of Josh’s sayings.

The Farmers Boy will soon become a man if he continues to eat here.

Piri Fino, 2 Gallery Square, Walsall.

I like this place, not gonna lie but haven’t been since before Covid so was well overdue another visit. I met Swill in The Met then we strolled around the canal basin and in.

The waitress went through the list of drinks and we opted for Cobra. “Regular or large?” I think the question caught Swill off guard and he hesitated before opting for large. I mean come on, who in Walsall is asking for a regular Cobra?I also asked for a large one and we were both puzzled shortly afterwards when we were served large colas. We glanced at each other and I could tell he was thinking do I let this go, as I was. Thankfully after another hesitation he queried this and soon we had booze. I know the glasses were only on our table for a minute or so but a quick photograph by an onlooker and my reputation could have been in tatters.

I opted for 1/2 chicken medium strength and Swill went for a burger with the same level of spice and the food came quickly and it was epic. Swill said his burger was moist with the right level of spice and his peri peri chips were absolutely delicious.

Music was modern and I knew a couple of them but most I didn’t know. I’d have bombed if Craig was doing one of his artist and title quizzes.

Nice place this, with the canal right up to the window, food is good and reasonably priced (think it was £16 for my chicken, garlic bread side and Cobra). I need to go more.

Apologies for any typos in this. My head is still fuzzy from Mase and Beth’s bbq last night.Thanks for reading folks. I’m knocking the blog on the head for a month or 2 now so enjoy the rest of your Summer.