Evo Boozy Scribbler

Hi. It’s been a while, eh? Apologies for the lack of blogging of late but due to a change in my circumstances I’ve tried to go through May without spending much cash. Throw in another financial setback this week and it’s fair to say that these blogs are probably going to be a bit more sporadic until I find a new housemate.

Despite May’s austerity measures I had budgeted for Saturday. May the 27th, or Sir Ray Graydon Day as it will forever been known to us Walsall FC fans as it marks the anniversary of our play off final win at The Millenium Stadium, Cardiff in 2001.

I left the house and there was a big yellow thing in the sky. Absolutely no idea what it was. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a sight like that. With alcohol incoming food was needed and Jack & Ada’s came up trumps on that front. Good music, great food and a relaxed atmosphere from the fellow customers, with the added bonus of two slices of fried bread with my breakfast. Absolute result. Two old ladies were enjoying fish and chips with a pint of Carling which was great to see. Very civilised. I always thought that a mug of tea with bread butter went best with fish and chips but I must try the Carling route soon.

Jase the landlord of Katz arrived and we had a nice chat as I finished munching but then we had a big decision to make. Walk to AJ’s Ales (about 15 minutes) or get the bus? It was too hot to walk and we decided we couldn’t waste drinking time so within minutes we were sat on the number 32.

My mates Sean, Sammy and Madels were already there so I grabbed a pint of Dukey’s Delight and joined them outside. The beer was absolutely bang on and so clear you could have stuck it in a wall and used it as a window. It was a glorious day and it was so good to finally have outside beers in England (I had some in Dublin in April). Sammy was noticing the warmth a bit more than the rest of us as the zip on her dress was attracting the heat. “Feel my hot zip” she instructed Sean which immediately had me thinking of those sex lines that you would see advertised in either Viz or the Sunday Sport, I forget which. Feel my hot zip 0898 xxxxxx only 75p a minute.

Across from AJ’s on Long Acre Street is The Crown Inn known locally as The Funny House. I’d heard that they are planning on turning this place into flats and as Madels and myself have had some cracking times in there I was hoping we could get one last visit in. Fortunately it was still open and word about it’s possible closure had got round as a few more first time visitee’s if that’s a word had come from AJ’s.

The jukebox had to be done. I walked up, with a song firmly in my head (I was even singing it aloud) but by the time I had worked out how to search for an artist the song had gone from my mind and even now I can’t recall what it was. There is a bit of stress with picking jukebox songs as hey have to be ones you love but you have consider the other customers, all this while your beer is on a table the other side of the pub getting warm. My mind went blank. Sammy came up and mentioned Led Zeppelin. Not my cup of tea by some distance but I did try and search for their songs but the juke box couldn’t find any. You do spell Led with a Q X and K don’t you?

The day before I’d purchased tickets to see Hard-Fi for myself and Madels so I went foir two of theirs, The Clash and as a nod to the recently departed Tina Turner I went for Proud Mary of hers.

Despite the full breakfast I still needed a snack so went for the classic of Scampi Fries. I noticed that there was one pack of dry roasted peanuts left which I felt a bit sorry for but scampi won. If peanuts still had pictures of scantily clad women behind them, I’m guessing that pack would have gone as it was on a prime position on the display. If spot the nipple was a thing like spot the ball used to be, that would have been where I’d have put my cross. Or pack of peanuts.

I made my first loo trip of the day and as I did Madels shouted after me “hey Evo, you’re right you have got a cracking arse”. I shouted “cheers” and a woman by the jukebox said “let’s have a look then”. Now I don’t normally need any encouraging to get my arse out but everyone was enjoying the sun, they didn’t need a moon this early in the day. So I kept my trousers on and just raised my t-shirt and gave her a wiggle. She loved it.

Friends of the blog Ade and Doug who I’ve not seen for yonks came in the pub too so it was nice to have a catch up with them. We were soon joined by Jon and after more booze we decided to head to the New Inn.

During the amble to the New Inn I suddenly needed a poo. I made it to the pub but had to run for the gents. Got in the cubicle and no toilet roll. Disaster. I headed back out into the bar. “Obviously” by McFly was playing. Great song and one that sums up my feelings to a couple of ladies and whilst I normally enjoy the song “This Is An Emergency” by Pigeon Detectives would have been more apt at this juncture. I explained the situation to Sammy and she disappeared into the ladies and came back with sheets of goodness. I left some on the back of the cistern for the next user as I am a Christian individual.

We sat outside and more snacks were incoming this time including Bombay Mix which I took full advantage of. Cheers to Jon for buying but they were so moreish and I think I ate the most by a good distance. I did express my apologies to Sean about this the next day during the general chat after we’d recorded the latest episode of The Long And Shot Of It. He said it wasn’t a problem and that when the packet is ripped open and put on the table it becomes a sharing platter for everyone. I replied “if you open the gates of hell, don’t be surprised if the devil appears”, which made no sense but I know what I meant.

We went inside to watch Luton win the play off final on penalties and the moved on to The Oak Inn at the bottom of Green Lane. Things you need to know about The Oak Inn (1) it sells varieties of Thatcher’s Cider. That is all. If that doesn’t do it for you then pop in anyway. Other booze is available.

A band were preparing to start. I’ve been in this pub many times but have never sampled the live music. I picked a good time to start. The opening numbers were “The One I Love” by R.E.M and “Paint It Black” by The Stones. Setting the bar high there. I didn’t catch the band name but they were really good and threw in two songs that I’ve never seen performed live “It’s The End Of The World As We Know It” by R.E.M and “Ca Plane Pour Moi” from Plastic Betrand. During my 8 months on furlough in 2020 my mission was to learn the latter as a nod to my French granddad but obviously when push came to shove I simply couldn’t be arsed. However I know the chorus well enough so gave that portions.

This was a great visit, a thoroughly great way to end a cracking day. As the clock struck 23 though the band finished and we all departed. After an odd discussion with Jon who was convinced he knew my way home better than me I said the goodbyes and headed back. (by my route, not Jon’s).

I’ve been a bit peckish of late so I’ve done another 5 takeaway reviews and this time it’s a chip shop special. I like this. There may be a volume 2. And 3. Etc.

Kings Fish Bar. 5 Walstead Road, Delves.

This was Middletons when I was a kid and an absolute rare treat to go to in those days. It was Kings though on my last visit which was on the first Tuesday in September 2009. I only know this as it was the first night of my writing course. A night that was to lead to me writing two novels, becoming a stage performer and the blogger that I am nowadays. But it started with chips.

This visit was on March 7th. Well into Lent, possibly the coldest night of the year and I needed a food feast before the expected football feast that was Walsall v Bradford.

I opted for the mini fish deal which included curry sauce. Halfway through preparing my order she turned and pointed out that they didn’t accept card. Why she didn’t say his at the start I wasn’t sure, or why she did at all. There was a big notice on the counter right in front of me pointing this out, I know my eyes are crap but I’d clocked this plus I wasn’t stood there with my flexible friend ready to pounce on the chip and pin terminal. I was paying cash anyway but had it been going on card I’d have splashed out for a fried Mars Bar as I hadn’t given those up for Lent.

They do a good range of drinks but not Lilt so if you are after one last can of that before it is discontinued you will be disappointed.

The food was good to be fair although talking to Chris Steele at the match afterwards he said the battered chips with Peri Salt are incredible and the kebabs are phenomenal. I’ll bear that in mind next time I go which hopefully won’t take 14 years this time.

Jay’s Fish Bar. 149 Pleck Road, Walsall.

No back story to this one, sorry. First time visit. Service was quick and I again went for the mini fish deal, but with the added bonus of a can of Lilt. It was pleasant to sit in there eating nice food whilst watching the rush hour traffic crawl past.

The battered sausage is 5p cheaper on the sign above the counter than the one on the wall so point that out when ordering. The sign writer was clearly having a mare with his sausage on that day as the three times saveloy appeared it was spelt correctly once. Yes I know I’m in no position to throw stones when it comes to spelling but this is my glass house and these are my rocks.

They do chicken nuggets but in decent quantities i.e 6, 10 or 20. None of that having to order 9 bollocks like at McDonalds. Odd incident of the visit was when a man came in, ordered his food then produced something out of a carrier bag which he asked if they could heat up and they happily did. So if your microwave is broken Jay’s do a heat while you wait service.

The only music was a 30 second blast of a somewhat techno version of Belinda Carlisle’s Heaven Is A Place On Earth which was brief but good.

Decent one this. If I’m ever in the vicinity of the Manor Hospital again I might make another visit. And ask if they’ll remove the sweetcorn and put water in my Pot Noodle.

Caldmore Fish Bar. 6 Caldmore Green, Walsall.

Newish place this opening around the time of the pandemic and I went a few times during the first couple of months but then they broke the golden rule. When you have two pieces of chicken and chips for me you should get a drumstick and a breast but on my last visit I got two of the former and I haven’t been back since. But it was time to give them another try.

There was a man awaiting a sizeable order so I took the chance to peruse the menu. During this time another man entered the shop who clearly wanted to be served quickly as he stood right behind me. I was dreading someone in the shop playing Move Closer by Phyllis Nelson on their phone in case he took this as his cue to invade the last remaining millimetre between us. I stood my ground so he moved alongside me. The guy serving though clocked that I was next and quickly took my order. So quick that I forgot to order a scallop.

They do beans. I’ve never known this in a chip shop. Despite my excitement at this I didn’t order any as I had about the same amount in my pantry as a decent corner shop would.

I went for fish and chips and it came in a box. This always adds a bit of class to the proceedings. The food was really good and quickly demolished. They are back in my good books so I need to go back and test the 2 pieces of chicken theory again. And try a scallop.

The Plaice To Eat. 97 High Street, Brownhills.

I had to be in Brownhills to present The Jiggers Whistle with their Walsall CAMRA Cider Pub Of The Year award. I needed food and on the Brownhills Bob page the week before someone ad asked where was best for battered chips. This chippy got a few nods so it was motion carried.

I took the usual photo outside and upon entry I was asked why I’d taken it. This is the first time I’ve been asked that question and it caught me off guard. I said I’m quite forgetful (feasible) and that I like to keep a visual record of where I’ve been. She wasn’t arsey I must point out, just curious which is fine by me.

The next question was more straightforward. “What can I get you darlin?” I like being called darlin. Let’s be honest, I don’t get it very often. I wasn’t ready as I’d not studied the menu so I just went for small chips. “Battered, plain or a mixture?” If battered is an option then that is always the way to go.

I didn’t have time to look round in search of blog material as the brief amount of time it took for my chips to be served was spent trying to work out if there was a toilet down the back or eyeing up the 3 kebab meats. A toilet would have been useful as I’d had 2 pints in Bloxwich before bussing back to Walsall then out to Brownhills so I was close to bursting. Another reason why I had just chips so I didn’t have to loiter outside the pub too long with my legs crossed.

The battered chips were superb and they came with those little batter bits that you don’t get very often. A nice meal, and I made the toilet.

Bek’s. 8 Croft Parade, Aldridge.

Aldridge got a new chip shop this week. I’m a massive fan of the existing Bek’s shop in Darlaston so I was very excited when my legend of a former work colleague Jade told me about this one opening.

I went the day after opening along with Dave and we were warmly welcomed by the owner of the Darlaston store who was in to oversee the new team. He liked that I’d been to the other shop and was very impressed that I’d travelled over from Caldmore to try this one and he announced this to the whole team.

We timed it very nicely as there was just one customer when we arrived but the queue was soon out the door. I went for fish, chips and gravy which came as a deal. They also do beans but they were not included in the deal unlike gravy and curry sauce, but I was happy enough with what I got.

The man from Darlaston carried my food to my seat and also rushed to get me cutlery and a serviette which was a very nice touch. Dave had a mixed meat kebab. He let me sample his meat and it was very good. My fish and chips were really good and gravy just adds levels to it.

I think Dave thought he was in St Matthews Hall (Walsall’s Wetherspoons) as he tried to make friends with everyone who walked in, like he does in that pub. During one lengthy discussion he had with his two new best friends he kept trying to involve me in the conversation to the point where I was going to give him a Homer Simpson style “can’t talk. Eating”.

The shop is very snazzy and the yellow stools look amazing, I so want them should I ever get room to sit in my kitchen. Aldridge you have a great chippy here.

Right that’s this one done and my God it might not be Lent but I really am giving up chips for a bit. Not quite 40 days and nights. Just a bit. Maybe.

While I’m on, my best friend Swill is currently trying to find the best chip shop in Bloxwich. He does proper reviews and actually talks about the food and prices. Give Bloxwich Community News on Facebook a follow if you want to see how his hunt is going.

I didn’t want to get up on Saturday. It was Crewe away though, one of the absolute grade A away games of the season. I pulled the duvet over my head and thought “I’ll go next season”. But it’s Crewe away. One of our big rivalries. There was the added lure that after we went to Dublin for Josh’s stag do at Easter, this was billed as the home leg of his pre marital festivities.

The other plus point for staying in bed was that I didn’t have a ticket for the match. I’d tried to buy one on Wednesday, foolishly thinking that as it’s 2023 an e ticket could be purchased and sent to my phone but the only options were collection from Walsall FC ticket office (no chance) or sent via post (I couldn’t risk this option). The match ticket was £25 and with the booking fee it was almost £27. £27 for a 4th division football match is a bit much. I opted to pay at the turnstile, save the booking fee and spend that on samosas instead*.

I went to Jack & Ada’s. No poached egg on toast this time. I needed something much more substantial so I went for the big full English with a slice of fried bread as an added extra. Fried bread is something I don’t have very often as I reckon it isn’t that good for you but it’s always epic when I do.

I always leave things to the last minute and am rushing around constantly as a result but I allowed myself lots of time to eat and enjoy the food. I even had time for a second cup of tea whilst enjoying the background music which jumped from ELO to The Housemartins. There was also an appearance by Micky Mullin and my former housemate Colin so there was pleasant conversation to go with the food.

I had planned to have a bet on the Grand National but hadn’t seen a list of the horses to make my choice. Also it’s not the same when you can’t actually watch the race, mind I could last year but Craig had me cheering for the wrong horse that time.

With no need to visit the bookies I headed to the railway station and soon we were in Crewe. The Cheshire Inn (formerly Last Orders) was doing a roaring trade with numerous Saddlers already supping outside and a big flag erected on the exterior wall. I carried on as that place is always the last pint before the game venue so I was happy to walk past at this juncture.

I had no set plan other than drink until I heard off Josh as to when and where he would be so I headed for The British Lion as I had seen Facebook check ins there. There was already a good crowd of fellow Saddlers in there so I got a good welcome.

Upon leaving there I ambled down Nantwich Road looking for Beer Dock, a micro pub that I ticked off on Pub Challenge 2. As I passed The Brunswick though I heard a shout of “Evo” so I headed in there. The hunt for Beer Dock was over but that was probably for the best as I didn’t know at that point that it has changed its name to Ebenezer’s so I’d have probably walked past.

In The Brunswick was Andy and Zece who had both been in Dublin along with Gaz and Adam Ellison, Flembo and Guilty. Oh and another Evo who I’d not met before. There was much banter and laughs and then the news came through that Josh wasn’t coming. Oh well, we’d just stag do in his honour.

Madri or “Spanish Carling” as I learnt is it’s alternate name wasn’t on when I walked in but was available by the time I needed a refill so good times. Despite the large breakfast I can always find the room for snackage. The night before my mate Dave said that Walkers had announced they were going to discontinue Salt & Vinegar flavour due to poor sales**. I smelt a rat and thought this was purely to boost sales like when Heinz announced the demise of Salad Cream but on this second visit to the bar I asked for crisps and this flavour was all they had. Wow, sales must be really bad if all other varieties had gone but they still couldn’t shift these. I’m having a packet while I still can. Not my usual choice of flavour, far from it but they went down a storm.

More Saddlers arrived including two lads, now of legal drinking age that Gaz had taught when they were in primary school. One that he remembered and one he didn’t. It reminded me of those episodes of Surprise Surprise but with no singing by Our Cilla for numerous obvious reasons.

More drinks followed, including a random red shot which was surplus and thrust in my direction (thinking Cherry Sourz) but after a very pleasant couple of hours the group decide to move on. Back to The British Lion it was.

We didn’t make kick off. News quickly came through that we had gone a goal down after just 2 minutes. Suddenly spending £25 at the turnstile didn’t seem quite so appealing. We all stayed put. A good sing song followed, which wasn’t totally appreciated by the landlady and locals. Someone crashed the Baby Guinness’s, not sure if it was Dekka or Granty but this ace shot was also appreciated.

We went two goals down, had a man sent off and we were in The Express before the end of the game. I’ve never seen eggs on sale in a pub before so I liked seeing some behind the bar. A bargain price too if you go by the recent discussions on the Brownhills Bob Facebook page.

I opted to try and get a train back an hour earlier than my specified one, and the plan worked with the added bonus of the connecting one at Rugeley Trent Valley being in.

I had planned to go to the Walsall Arms on the evening as it was the landlady Jaz’s birthday bash and 5th anniversary of running the pub celebrations but I was a good boy and went home and got some much needed beauty sleep.

An absolutely superb day with great people without letting the match spoil it. According to the BBC website we had no shots on target, but both of mine certainly were.

*I still haven’t bought the samosas. **This was looked into live during Sunday’s recording of episode 12 of The Long & Shot Of It. Salt & Vinegar in 2017 were part of a “Choose me or loose me” campaign. I’m guessing people chose S & V or that pub has some very old stock.

I woke up last Saturday feeling almost normal. Well, as normal as I can be. After 11 days of having a cold, the longest of my entire life by some distance it was nice to be able to breathe through my nose and say “white rabbits” in my usual ropey accent rather than sounding like I was talking with a mouthful of socks.

Apologies if you’re eating but I have produced so much snot of late I was cussing that it isn’t a tradable commodity as I’d be seriously minted by now. Elon Musk needs to invent a car that runs on it.

I needed a treat after all that lurgy so it was off to Jack & Ada’s for poached egg on toast. There was the usual friendly welcome from Paul although I was thrown by being given 5 choices of tea. English Breakfast tea got the nod and it went down a storm.

I got home and did the usual thing of fannying around and not paying any attention to the clock. Before I knew it, it was too late to walk to Bescot Stadium. Taxi time which arrived very quickly. I’ve been lucky with taxi drivers of late but this one wanted to chat. Oh he really did, starting with his 1st question which threw me. “What’s the best way?” Aren’t taxi drivers supposed to have the knowledge?

“I don’t know, I usually walk there.” He asked again. I reiterated the walking thing. He asked for a third time. I gestured behind me and said “I normally walk that way.” At the bottom of the road he asked “left or right”. I was starting to think I was in a taxi version of 15-1. “Left, and maybe go along the Broadway” I offered. “The Broadway?” he countered “that’s the long way. We’ll go the other way.” It’s so nice to be asked your opinion and then get ignored. A discussion about kick off time followed and then onto one about ticket prices and he couldn’t get his head around the fact that I had a season ticket and didn’t have to pay on the day.

By now I had reached my limit of words that I set myself to say to others in a day and we hadn’t even got through Caldmore. He dropped me off on the main road rather than up the drive like most taxi drivers do, but had he done so he could have squeezed in another discussion so it was probably for the best.

I was shivering a bit as I walked into the Bescot Bar which I put down to the tail end of the lurgy still lingering. I’d announced the day before to my work colleague Matty that I was gong to watch the match sober, which really isn’t recommended but with that shiver I grabbed a coffee instead and saw Jayne Harris who was in no hurry to go into the stand so I stopped to chat with her.

I had no idea that Sutton had scored until an influx of Walsall fans arrived in the bar pretty much all singing from the same “this is shocking” hymn sheet.

In the end I didn’t bother going in the stand at all. I stayed in the bar, and actually saw 2 or 3 people that I hadn’t seen at a game in a good while. Conversely I didn’t see any of the people that I sit with in the stand week in week out.

Afterwards I walked up to Wednesbury Road to get the bus into town and it took a good 20 minutes for one to arrive even though 5 different services serve that stop. It was like they were on strike again. I felt for the lad at the stop who said he left the game at 4.30 and thus had an even longer wait for the 11A to eventually arrie.

Anyway we had equalised late on so after a quick McDonalds it was off to meet Craig in The Oak Inn. The non drinking part of the day was over and this place does three different versions of Thatcher’s cider so it was straight onto the Cloudy Lemon variety.

They have started doing live music now at The Oak and I was really looking forward to an Oasis tribute act which for some reason I’d got in my head as being mid April. During the fannying around earlier in the day I’d double checked when it was only to discover it was the previous Friday, which if you recall from the last blog was when I was at the Scotch Egg festival in Wolverhampton with the heavy cold. Perhaps it was for the best that I’d missed the night as any attempt to sing along to Don’t Look Back In Anger with that cold would have come out as “though thally can wait, thee knowth it’th too late ath theeth walking on by”. And nobody wants to hear that.

We hit the quiz machine as is standard procedure and were absolutely robbed by the Pointless game. Sports commentators was the round. We went for Simon Brotherton which scored 7 whilst the opponents went for Harry Carpenter who scored 1. We were not having it. How did less people say Harry Carpenter? Fummin.

There was live music on this night but at the moment it was jukebox selections and someone had put on “Blurry” by Puddle OF Mudd, we knew not who it was but we saluted him/her/they (delete as applicable if you’re reading).

“Is there a turn on at Katz tonight” asked Craig. My hearing isn’t the best and I thought he said “is Eternal on at Katz tonight?” God imagine that. A pint of AJ’s and a flirt with Louise Redknapp. I reckon I could impress them with my rendition of Oh Baby I. Jase, if you’re reading please make this happen.

We moved onto The Registry where we learned that it was a sailor party night. A quick glance around the room revealed nobody dressed in that attire, which was slightly disappointing. Music was decent in here including two songs by The Specials but there were no sea shanties. On the way out a lass walked in dressed as a sailor. I’m usually late to the party for most things but for once I was early. That’s one for the calendar.

Next up was Black Country Arms as I really wanted a pint of Stonehenge “Sign Of Spring”, a seasonal green beer which is only available in March/April. It was divine and a delight to be putting something green in my mouth rather than it coming out my nose. We had music from AC/DC and Def Leppard in here, the music is always good in The BCA. Except for a bizarre incident in 2012 where they played 2 UB40 songs which still haunts me.

Finally we moved onto Katz. Thee was no sign of Eternal. We grabbed SeaCider Honeycomb cider (delightful) and headed upstairs for retro gaming action. Craig dicked me at both Ms Pac-Man and Pleasure Goal. It might have been a different story had Louise been about to impress but Jamie Redknapp’s punditry at my performance on Pleasure Goal would not have been complimentary.

The last action of the night saw Craig head to Wishbone to sort out the kebab meat and chips whilst I headed to Ablewell to request a taxi, which in a nice bit of luck they both arrived together so it was home to munch with minimal hanging around. Another cracking day.

Friday was the 4th day of Spring, and also my 4th with the lurgy. I had a head full of snot and my voice, not the greatest at the best of times was sounding dreadful. I know film remakes are all the rage at the moment but if they did the same to that 1980’s Tunes advert where your man is at the railway station trying to buy a “1st class dicket to Dottingham” I’d have been a shoe in for the lead role.

Despite feeling rubbish there was a Scotch Egg Festival taking place at Hail To The Ale, a micropub in the Claregate area of Wolverhampton. I wanted in. All I had to do was get through the working day and it was on.

It was a standard day although the odd incident was when my boss (also a director) bent down behind me and I farted. Yep, a loud one. I immediately apologised but he saw the funny side. It appears to not be a disciplinary offence.

On the afternoon we had Virgin Radio on, which I’ve not listened to since it’s re-launch and they played some right belters which really made the time fly. Song of the day though was when I nipped down to Production and they had Heart 70’s on and were playing “Let Your Love Flow” by The Bellamy Brothers. Such a wonderful happy song and it always makes me want to get a water slide home from work like in the Barclaycard advert.

I left work, forgetting to clock out in my excitement and headed to McDonalds for a quick Fillet O Fish. I felt slightly guilty at this as despite not being religious I had given fish up for Lent. Mind, that ship had sailed and done a round the world cruise the week before when I got through a box of 30 fish fingers in 4 days. On the last sitting I even told myself “you need to lay off the fish fingers” which mad me smile as it’s a decent but totally random insult. I look forward to using it next time I’m having an argument, even if I’m winning it.

I met Daz and we headed to the pub arriving soon afterwards and into the world of ale and eggs. Now previous pub Scotch Egg missions have been indifferent. When I went to Berwick in 2017 one of the main reasons was because a micropub up there did a haggis Scotch Egg. I got there and they had sold out. When Katz did a pop up Scotch Egg stall Daz and myself ordered the same one. My came neat. His arrived perfectly presented with salad and a crescent of crisps (Alan Partridge would have been happy). They used his for publicity photos and made a fuss of him “hope you enjoy” etc whilst I felt invisible, like I do when trying to get served in The Tap And Tanner nowadays.

We grabbed drinks and Daz studied the menu while I surveyed the room. There was a copy of the amazing R.E.M album Automatic For The People on a ledge by us which was a good start. I am now on my 5th copy of this album having bought and lent it out to not get it back several times. The pub owner explained that the cd’s are free to anyone who wants them, so if you don’t own or have never heard this then don’t come to me. Head to Hail To The Ale instead.

Daz opted for Venison & Red Currant egg whilst I went for Breakfast. Mine was devine but as breakfast it would have been nice to have a slice of fried bread with it. Daz liked his too and he followed it up with Chilli & Lime which was “very limey” and he wasn’t quite so sure about this one.

Hail To The Ale is a great micropub. It opened back in 2013, was the first in the West Midlands and the first that I ticked off. The beer is good, it gets lots of custom and has a friendly atmosphere. In fact when a second dog turned up, there no was no barking when it met the first dog. Just lots of tail wagging. Even dogs respect the friendly atmosphere. Talking of dogs, if you like them you will love the toilet as there is lots of pictures of them.

We didn’t stay long as we wanted to make a final visit to The Malthouse, Willenhall’s Wetherspoons which closes today (Sunday). Sorry to see this place go as it is one of the best ones round here, and it’s sad for all of the staff including my mates Adam & Joe who have worked there for years.

It was busy as we arrived. Joe was on duty so it was good to see him, shake his hand and wish him all the best. We sat right at the back on the slightly raised section where I’ve never sat before.

I made a final trip to the toilet. In here the 7 urinals are in a near semi circle shape. If I ever took the pub on, my plan was to extend the toilets, put another 8 urinals in and make a complete semi circle. Quiz night would then be like a urine based version of 15-1. Get a bloke at each urinal and people are out of the game when they get a question wrong or finish their piss. Winner gets a £25 bar tab which is decent for Wetherspoons. Channel 4 would have paid me millions for this.

Daz had stuff to do so he dropped me off in town and I headed to St Matts Hall as I knew the Wetherspoons beer festival was on. I noticed that all the benches on Leicester Street have been removed, I’ve no idea why. Had I known they were going I’d have put a bid in for the one that Jon McClure (lead singer of Reverend & The Makers) had done his couple of post gig numbers on in 2012.

I was frisked upon reaching St Matts whuch hasn’t happened before. Two hot lasses were chatting to the bouncers and one asked of me during the frisking “are you sure you’ve not got anything under your hat”? I explained that the only thing under my hat was my mossiv head. I then removed the hat and they cheered. It’s not often I have the opportunity to get something massive out for the ladies.

I had one quick pin of something I’d never heard of, discovered that you can’t leave by the front doors anymore and headed home. It was a decent night.

On Thursday, The Swan on Pelsall Road in Brownhills reopened after being purchased and renovated by Black Country Ales. On Wednesday evening there was a launch event which some members of Walsall CAMRA were invited to.

I left work and caught the no 10 to Brownhills. I had a rough idea where The Swan is, but wanted to make sure as I wasn’t feeling ambling along aimlessly in the cold dark miserable evening. As you’ve seen on previous blogs I don’t like asking strangers for directions. Oh if only I knew people in Brownhills. Hmmmm Colin and Teresa who own The Jiggers Whistle. I could go in there and ask them. I accidentally got off a stop early, standard behaviour on my behalf but I was soon there.

The Jiggers Whistle has just won the Walsall CAMRA Cider Pub Of The Year award again so to mark this I had a pint of Lilley’s lemon and lime whilst gleaning the directions. I didn’t bother taking my coat off. I knew the cider was going to be good and not taking long to polish off, and so it transpired. I popped to the loo and as I made my way back the classic song by The Smiths “There Is A Light That Never Goes Out” came on. This almost made me take my coat off and stay for a second but it was best to press on.

As mentioned The Swan is now a Black Country Ales pub and you know what you are getting in their houses. A homely comfortable feel, great range of ales and decent cobs. Existing BCA pubs in the borough are Black Country Arms and Pretty Bricks in Walsall Town Centre, Robin Hood in Willenhall and Duke Of Cambridge in Short Heath. All very worth a visit.

The pub was already busy upon arrival with the Walsall CAMRA delegation of Gary, Bob, and Ray already enjoying the hospitality with Martin soon joining us to complete the party. They had Salopian “Lemon Dream” on. My favourite ale. What a way to launch a pub and earn brownie points. It was very good.

The pub used to be a two room venue with a central bar but it is now all in one with the bar to the right. There was a brand new dartboard without a prick hole in it (I checked). I could have thrown nine darts and it would have remained like this, though the wall around it may not have been so lucky.

Munchies were provided with the coated prawns being divine. I turned my nose up though at the tart like things that were Shropshire Blue cheese and caramelised onion. I’ve never wanted blue cheese and I can take or leave onions despite my French heritage. I relented though and tried one in the name of research and it was delicious. Sometimes I enjoy having to put my investigative journalist hat on.

The room continued to fill. It was really was a well attended launch night and I was delighted for BCA head honcho Angus (who I met for the first time on this night) and the licensees and bar staff. It was good to see Kim from Black Country Arms and Bar from Pretty Bricks in attendance too.

Next up was a couple of pints of BCA’s BFG (Bradley’s Finest Golden) which was excellent. It was then time to check out the loos. These were all new as well and I immediately wondered if anyone had had a dump in the toilet yet. Pub had been open over an hour so I guess someone had.

In the toilets was an advert for the in house coffee with a big slogan saying “too cold for a pint”? I’ve got to say that during the recent Walsall v Bradford City match is the coldest I have been for a good while and I still fancied a pint after that so the coffee was on the back burner this time.

It was an excellent evening, big thank you to Black Country Ales for the invite but it was time to head back to town. I was delighted to learn that there was a no 8 bus stop just down the road and that turned up just a minute late. We stopped off at the Black Country Arms before we went our seperate wys.

Good luck to the Swan, it’s going to be a great success.

Episode 3 of The Long And Shot Of It is now out. Sean says this is his favourite so far.

Last Saturday didn’t run smoothly to start with. I had a couple of jobs to do on the PC, both of which took far longer than I expected. So I didn’t leave the house until after 2pm. Slight pain as I had been craving poached egg on toast from Jack & Ada’s all week and by now it was too late to head there. “Cook it yourself at home” I hear people exclaim. Well at the risk of sounding like Kryten from Red Dwarf, that is an excellent suggestion with just 2 small drawbacks. (1) I didn’t have any eggs. (2) the last (and only) time I tried to cook poached eggs they turned out like a lava lamp. Kids ask someone who was cool in the 1970’s.

I needed cash so headed to town and then to catch the 45 to Bescot Stadium. Turns out it is now half hourly (I swore it was every 15 or 20 minutes until NXWM gave up the route in January). Diamond who took it over have reduced the frequency and are giving the service up completely and now I had missed it by 5 minutes.

I was still hungry. I glanced at Greggs but I’ve not been in there since a lukewarm inedible sausage. cheese and bean melt incident in January. A bus that would get me a third of the way to the ground arrived and I jumped on that.

I say jumped it was more slowly following a family. The dad sat down half way up the bus whilst the rest remained in the buggy area. He then decided he needed to speak with the missus and shot forward, barging into me and knocking me over. I gave him a loud “bloody hell” and continued on my way. I found a seat, he got back in his and everyone was happy.

Then a lady got on the bus that looked liked the lead singer of Kings Of Leon. I hoped that she would start belting out 4 Kicks and that everyone in the vicinity would start fighting during the instrumental parts like in the video. Okay, I admit that my sense of imagination sometimes runs away from me but if group violence had broken out on that vehicle I’d have been straight up and at Mr Bargey Bargey Man.

I got to Bescot Stadium at 3.20. I was still hungry. I tried for the 8th game in a row to get Quavers out of the Bescot Bar vending machine. “This product is disabled” again. Sigh. I hope at the Fans Forum on March 27th people rise up about this issue. #freethequavers.

I grabbed a latte from the other machine and a cheeseburger from the catering van and finally made my way into the stand around the 26th minute mark. I watched about 12 minutes of the game and went back to the bar.

A few post match beers followed then a taxi to Ablewell Fish Bar, it was finally time to eat something substantial. Reguar kebab meat and chips, no sauce or salad please. I don’t like salad on my breakfast. I demolished this whist ambling up to The Wheatsheaf. Recently Goughy and Harriet had a daughter Imogen and it was wetting the baby’s head time.

There were good showings all round, both from people out for the occasion and also the line up of ales on the bar. When coming to serve me though the barman did that annoying thing of just looking at me rather than trying to ascertain what I wanted via the medium of words.

I love a group photo and we were all summonsed outside for one. Naturally I took my pint with me and made sure I was at the front. A nice lady took the picture and a couple of the lads were encouraging her to flash which she did but only with the camera phone.

Whilst supping my Green Duck Session IPA I noticed on the blackboard craft cider at £2.20 pint. No other clues. I love a booze and I like a bargain so that was next up. The conversation went along the lines of “can I have a pint of the £2.20 cider please?” “Cloudy or clear?” “Whichever is £2.20”. I got cloudy. It really was £2.20 and it was good.

Before I departed I made the standard toilet visit. A gent in there let out 8 good belches in a row which I liked as it saved me listening to Paul McCartney And The Frog Chorus which I had been planning to do. I left and was tucked up in bed with a mug of tea in time to listen to Nick Abbot on LBC. Good times.

Episode 2 of The Long And Shot Of It is now out, this one filmed in Katz. Better microphones are on the way to hide the background noise.

On Thursday the Butts Tavern closed. This absolute Good Beer Guide regular was a much loved community pub but having been up for sale for a good while it’s now been purchased and the current rumours are it will be turned into flats or care home.

I’ve not been a regular since the Hatherton Arms closed as that left The Butts a bit isolated for someone from the other side of town and a bit of a walk for one pub. However back in the 00’s I was there all the time. It would be regularly included in mine and Woza’s crawls which would always start and end at The Fitters. When my mate Gareth lived on Mellish Road for a couple of years mid noughties the visiting figures went though the roof.

Whilst being good for an ale and a natter it’s also held some good events. My great mates Alan and Kim had their wedding reception there and the delightful couple Mase and Beth had the reception there after their daughter Ellie’s Christening. The pub was also included in the legendary Walsall CAMRA 50th anniversary crawl which drew visitors from across the region to the venue. Myself and Billy (from the Shrewsbury branch) bonded on the outside terrace whilst discussing the excellent tv show Early Doors.

Owner Richard has sold the pub and is moving down South to retire. We wish him well in his new life. There wasn’t much notice of it’s closure from what I gather, I only found out 2 days before but when Thursday came around a final visit after work had to be done. There was a slight set back as the chip shop on Butts Road that I planned to review was closed. Plan B, the shop over the road for egg and cress bap (and Euro Millions super draw ticket) came into effect.

As I munched I saw a couple leave with a framed picture. Unfortunately it was turned towards the man so I couldn’t see which one it was but it bought back memories of the legendary scene in Airplane where reporters grab pictures off the wall.

The pub was busy which was good to see. They had already run out of Madri. I opted for a Strongbow Dark Fruit and settled in the corner. My mate Chris arrived and he opted for what he called “the Mastermind chair”. No point in me going in that. I was rubbish at school and I probably wouldn’t be able to tell you my name after a pint or two.

Friends Of Highgate Brewery top man Bob Newton joined us, and then my mate Goughy came along for one last pint in the place. I moved onto the Holden’s Golden Glow as you have to have a real ale in a GBG pub.

I’d heard that they were shutting the doors at 9 so opted to leave before then. Chris was very proud to buy me my last pint in the place (back on the Dark Fruit). I used the facilities for the final time whilst awaiting my taxi. A man came up alongside and announced “my last piss in the place. I’ve been coming here since I was 17”. I didn’t look round to gauge his age but I reckon between us we’ve had a fair few wees in there between us.

My taxi arrived and I had a Madri in the Walsall Arms to round off the night.

So we say farewell to The Butts but we’ve had some good times in there over the years. Here are a couple or so memories. The Butts was where I met my ex. I pointed her out to Woza mentioning that I fancied her. He said that he knew her and would call her over. I panicked. “Don’t geez, I’m crap at chatting up the women” I said. “Don’t worry, I’ll chat her up for you”. The chatting up consisted of “my mate fancies you. Do you want to take him on a date?” She said “yes”. He followed up with “he’s my best friend so look after him, and on the date can you wear a white bra?” She pulled the top of her shirt off her shoulder to reveal a white bra strap, then snogged my face off.

The last big group outing that we had there before Ellie’s Christening was back in February 2020. A group of us Walsall fans had set off early to go to Stevenage away, only for the match to be called off so we had a pub crawl of Bedford instead which was legendary. We’d heard that there was an 80’s disco in The Butts on the night so we planned to go there and we’d all bought 80’s style wigs to wear. We got there and it wasn’t an 80’s disco and nobody was dressed in that attire. To further confuse the locals, in the final pub in Bedford we were opposite a charity shop and Swill was giving people money to go in there and buy clothing. Someone bought a very fetching pink hat, I can’t remember who but it was certainly me wearing it on entry to The Butts. It was still in there the following evening when I went to do a GBG survey.

One evening an elderly lady took a liking to me and asked for a dance. I never get asked to dance so I thought this was a wind up. Woza kept on. “Go on geez, giver her a dance”. Still not convinced I agreed. “What’s your name?” she asked. “Mikee” I replied. “Is that Welsh?”. Now I was confused as well as dubious. My surname Evans certainly has a Welsh ring to it but Mikee? We had the dance. She liked it. We didn’t swap numbers.

So we lose another pub. I feel for the people of Butts as that area used to be a night out in it’s own right but now the locals will have to walk to The Fountain one way or The Bricks in the other. Both splendid pubs but the loss of The Butts will be felt for years.

Mine and Sean’s new podcast The Long And Shot Of It launched yesterday. Here is episode 1.

A little while ago my great mate Sean Westwood asked me if I’d be interested in doing some podcasts talking about beer and life in general. Naturally I said “yes”. Sean knows lots of people, and this project clearly meant a lot to him so I was honoured to be asked to be his co-host. In our time we have shared a work office, stages, dressing rooms (prior to going on stage of course, we don’t just turn up at random changing rooms and undress as much as we like each other). We have also shared many a drink together so I knew this was going to be epic.

Last Sunday I was off to Tamworth for episode 1. As well as being a podcast it was also going to be filmed, so in lieu of this I got the iron out for the first time in 2023. I’d also spent a small amount of the previous Friday evening trying to trim my eyebrows with a pair of kitchen scissors. This wasn’t a great success.

I stopped at McDonalds as I was needing double sausage and egg McMuffin with large toffee latte action. As I sat there munching I checked the train app and learned that my service was 9 minutes late. I had 5 minutes to change in Rugeley so wasn’t too happy at potentially arriving there 4 minutes after my connection had gone. I finished my food and hoped that the train would make up those 9 minutes as it hurtled towards Staffordshire.

I ambled to the station to see that my train was now 21 minutes late. Marvellous. Eventually it arrived and everyone clambered aboard. When I was a kid, going on a train was a rare treat and absolute novelty. I feel like we have regressed back to those times of late so it was nice to be on a chuff chuff again.

We got to Rugeley Trent Valley and my connecting train was also late arriving just after I did. Result. Tamworth here we come.

I thought I knew my way in and around Tamworth but I clearly took a wrong turn or two so ended up wandering around aimlessly. I was not seeking directions from a passer by. I’m a stubborn little sod and generally won’t ask for help in most situations. I reckon if my house ever catches fire, I’ll sit on the settee waiting for 999 to phone me.

I eventually found The Crafty Two (nee Tavern In The Town). Sean and his good lady Sammy were already there. Sean’s first question was “have you been in here before?”. I’ve been drinking in Tamworth about 5 or 6 times but couldn’t recall this one. I checked my pub challenge notes when I got home and I haven’t ticked it off on any of those so I guess this place has passed me by.

It’s cooly decked out and the background music was class, 3 songs by The White Stripes in the first half hour being a welcome touch. We had fish finger sandwiches to line the stomachs before starting.

Sean was still setting up so me and Sammy made small talk. I mentioned that I was really nervous about this and she said that I’d be fine as I perform on stage in front of hundreds of people. I didn’t bother to tell her that I was actually shaking with nerves and that my bollocks were clacking together as if they were on a Newton’s Cradle.

We started the recording. The premise is that we try 3 or 4 drinks, then a shot and (very) briefly share our thoughts on them. Sean then asks me prepared questions of which I have no previous knowledge. The nerves got to me and I fumbled my first couple of lines but then I got the first laugh in and I settled down.

It felt very much like a pilot episode what with nerves and the whole newness of it but as the episodes pass mine and Sean’s on screen relationship will develop and blossom. This will lead to episodes being funnier and slicker.

After filming we had more drinks. The pub serves real ales, craft beers and I had my first ever Baby Guinness shot, which was ace but don’t ask me the ingredients.

At this point I have to give big thanks to Matt Mason for insisting I got the train times app on my phone. My return train was already showing as 6 minutes late. The next time I checked it had been cancelled. So cheers Mase as it was good to find this out whilst still in the pub rather than at the station. Next train was in an hour so back up the bar it was.

The next train was 10 minutes delayed as I left the pub. By the time my taxi arrived at the station it had changed to 40 minutes late. Arse. This time absolutely dragged by. As arrival time approached I heard a man say to his son who was about 10 “oh, it’s almost due”. The lad replied “just because it’s due, doesn’t mean it’ll arrive”. This was followed up with a very gloomy “we’ve been here 2 hours”. I was happier for him than me when it arrived but I was glad that I spent an hour and twenty minutes of those 2 hours still in the pub.

The train was rammed. A quick glance around the carriage revealed that the novelty of being on a train had certainly worn off on these people. A dog that got on in Tamworth looked thoroughly miserable within minutes of this experience.

We got to Rugeley and there was another 40 minute wait for the train back to Walsall. Rugeley Trent Valley is possibly one of the most desolate stations going, nit helped by the nearby Yorkshireman pub being long gone. Whoever owns that now private dwelling could have paid their mortgage off several times over by opening a micro pub in a spare room.

The train arrived and I treated myself to a seat in 1st class. I thought they owed me that bit of “luxury” after all the time that they had cost me. Thankfully we were back in Walsall fairly quickly.

I popped into the Walsall Arms on the walk back home and as I approached I could hear the karaoke was in full swing. I entered just as someone got up to perform the Rolf Harris classic “The Court Of King Caractacus”. A brave choice I thought on two counts. (A) it’s a hard song to sing, well the very fast last verse is and (B) you don’t really hear of Rolf since he got jailed. Turned out though that this man wasn’t singing the song, just dancing around and performing movements. It was a bit odd but he went down a storm and many people in the very busy pub did sing along, myself included. I had one pint and went home. It had been a long day, a thoroughly enjoyable one though.

Episode 1 of The Long And Shot Of It should be out on March 3rd. It’s now 7.30 am on 26th of February. I’m going to launch this blog on the usual platforms then go back to bed with a mug of tea. I’ll be then off down Katz later to film episode 2. Excited muchly.

I’m still making maiden visits to Walsall eateries. Here is another 4 reviews.

Burgerz And Bunz, 166 Stafford Street, Walsall.

Bob Geldof doesn’t like Mondays. I do because I usually have to be somewhere on the night, no time to go home beforehand so it’s a good chance to get a review in. There are 3 takeaways in close proximity on Stafford Street, two of which I’ve been in under previous names so both eligible for re ticking under this feature but this one I’d not set foot in before despite being open as Food Hut whilst I was living around the corner.

The lad serving was decent. I felt like we bonded as he took my order. He called me “bro” 3 times and I responded by calling him “top man” around the same number of times.

I opted for fish burger, cheese fries and Apple Tango. Something nagged at me though so I opted to check that Tartare Sauce, listed as a component on the fish burger was actually available. I was assured it was. A couple of minutes and after a discussion backstage it turned out that it wasn’t. They offered mayo as an alternative and with my Belgian heritage from my mom’s side of course I said yes.

The food arrived quickly, it was hot and I could see steam coming off it. It was nice but with apologies to my Belgian ancestors the mayonnaise on fish didn’t quite work and I can eat mayo with most things.

There was no music and during my meal a somewhat scary robotic voice started saying “new order, new order”. I sat there awaiting True Faith or Blue Monday to star playing but this wasn’t the case. Scary robot lady at getting no attention from the staff changed tack and started saying “you have a new order instead”. I started to hum Crystal (New Order song, the video of which inspired the band name The Killers) to fill the void.

Good visit this, and if I still lived on Lewis Street I’d be popping in to see top man more often.

Chad’s Chippy, 176 Bloxwich Road, Leamore.

Do you ever have those days when you leave work and you just can’t be arsed to do anything? I had this on a recent Thursday. I didn’t want to cook and after having cold hands all day I really wasn’t feeling them mooching around in the freezer. I’d recently seen an article on the Express & Star website about the former Mr Chips on the way to Leamore being taken over and now the chips were being cooked in beef dripping. This needed investigating. https://www.expressandstar.com/news/business/2023/01/30/couple-take-on-new-business-venture-after-opening-doors-of-fish-and-chip-shop-in-walsall/

My work colleague Bull gave me a lift so I was there in no time. First impression as I walked in is that everyone waiting were sat silently on their phones in the u shape around the shop that the furniture lay out allows. It felt a bit doctors waiting room but without the token pile of Woman’s Own that you usually find in these places.

It’s a bit odd that the shop is light and dingy. I really couldn’t read the specials board as it was too dark so this is a good place to test your vision before you head to Specsavers. I could however see the sign offering battered black pudding and battered Babybel. I love both of these but didn’t fancy them with this coating on. I went for mini fish and chips with curry sauce. The chips were lush and the fish divine. Good visit this but I tend to only ever pass this place on the bus but I must make an effort to visit again.

Sidechick, 71 Stafford Street, Walsall.

Located on Stafford Street close to the karate centre so en route I had to pass numerous people dressed in that attire giving the proceedings an 80’s arcade platform game feeling.

I was a regular in this place under it’s previous guise Chicken.com. The 1 star hygiene rating it held in those days was of little concern to me as the food was nice. I don’t know what rating it holds these days and didn’t bother looking for it in the window as I ventured in.

The one side has a big display which is a bit too much like graffiti to me. I don’t like graffiti save for the Maximo Park song of the same name. Had I been involved in the decor of this place I would have suggested plain Parma Violet Purple paint and lots of pictures of me, a scheme that works very well in my Living Room.

Anyway half the place has swings to sit on, the other side chairs and benches. I started on the swings but moved quickly due to the fact that I’m not 8 years old.

I went for the chicken burger meal, and a side of chicken wings (which also came with chips – result). The meal didn’t come with a drink and I could have done with one after all that carbohydrate, thankfully though the Black Country Arms was calling so after this good visit I scurried off there.

Morgan’s Coffee Shop, 59 High Street, Brownhills.

About a week and half ago this place posted a picture of an amazing looking hot chocolate to the excellent Brownhills Bob Facebook group. I love hot chocolate. A quick bit of research revealed they also do full English breakfasts and that was it. I wanted in and went yesterday.

After a bizarre no 10 bus journey, where our vehicle was stuck opposite the arboretum for over 10 minutes, I arrived ready to drink a gallon of hot chocolate or anything to be honest. A sign on the wall advised “coffee is always a good idea”. Tea, coffee or hot chocolate. I’m parched, if it’s wet lavish it on me. Anything is a good idea right now.

I opted for a full English and a pot of tea. It arrived quickly. The tea in pristine white crockery, nice to have it in my favourite colour and a ceramic tea pot rather than a metal one with a loose flappy lid like you get in most places. The breakfast was perfectly presented on a square plate. I love a square plate and I’m not sure why. Huey Lewis must have had similar experience when he wrote Hip To Be Square.

Wilson Philips “Hold On” was playing on arrival and the music was decent throughout. The breakfast was quickly eaten and the tea pot drained. Now what? Well ths was a free hit Saturday as I’d been expecting to be working but that was cancelled, and I had no plans for drinking ahead of the Walsall v Newport match so time was on my side. Well, that hot chocolate had to be done. I needed cake also. They list Orange Drizzle cake on the menu which I have never heard of but it had to be the lemon equivalent.

Unfortunately they had no lemon drizzle cake so I opted for lemon cream instead. Upon ordering the hot chocolate with cream the pleasant lady serving asked “do you want marshmallows as well?”. As you know I’m not good at being put on the spot so I panicked and said yes. Both the cake and hot chocolate were superb. This was a very civilised hour and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Toilets are upstairs and there is a blackboard and chalk outside of them for feedback. I resisted the urge to put a childish slightly rude thing like I did on the blackboard in the toilet of Katz on a couple of occasions.

Great visit this. I’m due to visit Brownhills again in the next week or so on a mission so I may tailor in another visit here, and hopefully will break my orange drizzle virginity.