Evo Boozy Scribbler

You know the rules, when a boozer changes its name or has a big refurb it has to be re-ticked and there are two that are currently eligible.

The Met. (Or Bar 10 or The Wharf Bar).

I meant to do gardening after work on Wednesday but as I departed I felt rain. Well I aint using a lawnmower while it’s of a damp nature so I opted to go to The Light Cinema to watch the current Jennifer Lawrence flick No Hard Feelings. It was decent enough but upon leaving it was too early to go home and I was kinda thirsty so I went to The Met.

My last visit here was around Covid times where we were shouted at twice upon entry and were served crap expensive lager in plastic glasses so this place has been off my radar for a while.

It shut in April and was closed for two months which surprised me as it’s not the biggest of buildings so I was eager t see what had been done. Well it’s different. The bar and toilets are in the same place but that’s where the similarities end.

It’s now very much a sports bar with an American feel. The sign for the toilets saying restrooms was pushing this theme a bit much for my liking though. Service was quick and friendly with Madri in a proper glass coming in at £4.90.

There is a retro gaming machine, table football, a couple of gamblers and 2 pool tables. Those booths on the canal side are now gone so it feels a lot more open plan. There were a few people in for a rainy Wednesday evening and the mood was relaxed.

The biggest change is in the toilets. The layout is totally different. The trough has been replaced by individual urinals and the cubicles have moved too with the added bonus of now having doors that fit so when you have a poo there is no longer a gap between frame and door for delighted passing voyeurs to glance into. One cubicle door is adorned with the Gazza crying in 1990 picture with the other one sporting that picture of the female tennis player scratching her bare arse, a picture I was on about only last weekend saying how I’d like a game of tennis one day and to recreate that. The other difference in the toilets is that they no longer smell like a giraffe house (reference nicked from an old guy in The White Lion years ago).

The bouncer on the door was friendly too. He greeted me warmly on the way in asking if he looked good in the picture that I took. I assured him that he did. He was friendly on my way out too. This place has clearly had money and some thought put into it. I wish them well and I’ll certainly not be a stranger. But at that moment in my life I needed a Thatchers Cloudy Cider so I ran up to The Oak Inn.

The second re-tick was going to be Room 112 which has recently changed its name from Flying Tiger Bar but it spent most of its life as Bar NV. Unfortunately the two times I visited this week it has been closed, hopefully not permanently.

The County – Willenhall.

This pub has just reopened after a major refurbishment and from the outside you immediately see the difference. The tired old signage has gone and new elegant ones have gone up and the building looks so much better.

The two old style doors as you enter have been retained which is nice as I like those and it was nice to see on entry that walls have been kept too. I like it when pubs keep their individual original rooms rather than going fully open plan.

The music on entry was Valerie and it was the proper version by The Zutons which just doesn’t get played enough. This was followed by Arctic Monkeys Mardy Bum and Libertines Don’t Look Back Into The Sun. An excellent start. Carling is£2.90 a pint which is decent these days but there isn’t any real ale pulls.

Both rooms were busy and it was a really good vibe. The indie disco gave way to a singer who started with Oasis then threw in Kings Of Leon plus Angels by Robbie Williams. I’ve been very lucky with regards to Angels as I have rarely heard it being sung on karaoke over the years so I was happy to hear it. Also people were joining in and it reminded me of the end of Early Doors which is always good.

I popped into the beer garden which I had no idea was there but there was a bit of a windchill so I headed back inside.

They have done a great job of this refurb. The place looks good and it was nice to see a few people in. I look forward to going back.

Back in 2021 when Covid restrictions were at their oddest I arranged to meet Sharon and Kina, the two ladies outside family that I have known the longest in my life at The Cat And Fiddle in Great Barr. At the time you could only venture into pubs to have a toilet along with table service and ordering drinks via text message and whatever other rules Boris plucked randomly from the Downing Street suggestion/let’s see if the public do this box. I messaged the pub to reserve a table. Turns out the Saturday I chose was going to be Monsoon Season and the pub called back to say they were not going to open. “We’ll reschedule soon” went into the Facebook chat.

Fast forward 24 months. Towards the end of last season my mate Andy who I sit by at Walsall FC home games suggested a close season pub crawl of Great Barr. Excellent idea. I’ll get the ladies along and it would be nice to see Andy during close season and have a catch up especially as I didn’t see much of him at the last few matches due to how much time I spent in the bar.

So it happened last Saturday. I got up somewhat later than planned but then marched int town with one thing on my mind. A sausage & egg sandwich from the red van at the bottom of the market. Got there and no red van. Talk about a Wayne’s World style “denied”. However I know there is a chip shop by The Cat & Fiddle as I was going to review it on that Saturday in 2021. We have a Chaplain at work who comes around every week asking if we need a prayer. Now I did. Please Lord, let that chip shop be open.

As I ambled to the bus station a busker was in full voice belting out a Buddy Holly classic. It might be Raining In Your Heart fella but it’s now absolutely pissing it down in my stomach due to that lack of sausage and egg.

I sometimes catch the 934 bus from town to by my house but this was the first time I’ve gone beyond that point on it. It’s a most picturesque route and the driver was not messing around. I know not if he was on a promise back at the depot or just aware that I needed food but he got us to The Cat & Fiddle in no time at all.

It was too hot for chips so I opted just for a scallop and jumbo sausage. I headed outside to start munching and loitered around by a parked car to do so. A fine looking lady departed a beauty salon along the row and advanced towards me just as I was putting the sausage in my mouth. We didn’t make eye contact. She didn’t request my number.

Kina and Sharon were already in The Cat and the former rushed off to get me a pint while I exchanged pleasantries with the latter. My only previous visit to this boozer was on Pub Challenge 1 back in 2011. The room we were in had Walsall FC representation both on the wall and with the Saddlers supporting lass that was serving. She was lovely and rightfully won “Barmaid Of The Challenge”. She didn’t win this just because of being a Saddler but it did glean her bonus points that not many of her competitors got.

Anyway the pub has recently been re-furbed, the rooms knocked into one and now family friendly. Very Greene Kingy was my assessment. Andy arrived and told of how when the pub re-opened they had an ABBA tribute act on, featuring just 2 people. I queried which two members were represented and he confirmed it was the two ladies. Imagine the outrage had it been the blokes. Had I been there and they’d performed “Under Attack” they’d have soon had a third member up there with them belting it out. The lasses would no doubt have then sang “Give Me Give Me Give Me This Man Before Midnight”.

We moved onto The Old Horns. No outside seating was spare at The Cat but here we had some and it was gratefully received. Face painting was apparently available here which I was urged to partake in. I declined for a variety of reasons (a) I’m a miserable sod and actually no, that’s the sole reason. I declined this service at Josh’s wedding do (with much more urging) where I was one of the best men so if I’m not doing it when on official duty it certainly aint happening on a normal day.

We moved onto another pub which I’ll report on in a later edition then went to The Beeches. Again outside seating with astro turf to cushion our walk to a table where the previous occupants had left a can of Lynx in a half drank pint of Carling.

There was a massive screen showing crickets and what looked like a sizeable old style toilet block now converted into seating. Andy’s mate Matt and his son Dennis joined us. They are both Sheffield Wednesday fans. I don’t know if they hail from that city but I like Sheffield people and these were top lads so I’m guessing they were.

I tried to make some notes and picked up Shaz’s phone by mistake. Surprisingly it wouldn’t accept my passcode and after a few attempts I put it down and shrieked “my phone’s been hacked”. Very dramatic of me as per usual. Kina asked “why were you trying to unlock Sharon’s phone?” I sheepishly reached into my pocked to find my phone.

Andy and I made one last port of call The Scott Arms where there was the major highlight of a big pack of Quavers. I’ve not had these for yonks and regular readers will know of my battles to try and get these out of the Bescot Bar vending machine.

A band was starting up and the first song was The Smiths classic Panic. “Panic on the streets of London. Panic on the streets of Birmingham as unknown strangers startles local lass with his jumbo sausage”. They also performed Turning Japanese and All Day And All Of The Night which is an absolute classic but the combination of booze and no chips had me feeling like I had been drinking that long. I had one more for the road and then timed my run to the 51 bus to perfection. Another speedy journey and I was home in no time. Another superb day, cheers all.

I’ve been off reviewing Walsall chip shops again as I’m finding it increasingly moreish. Here’s 4 more for your delectation.

Carol’s Chippy, 125 Franchise Street, Darlaston, Walsall.

There is a tradition in our family that dates back centuries. The weekend before your 49th birthday, you have to demolish fish and chips. Eager to keep my forefathers happy I left work at the Manor Hospital and headed for the conveniently located 39 bus stop. Said bus arrived shortly afterwards and before long I was in Darlaston and heading to a chip shop that I was a regular at when working nearby in the 1990’s.

As I approached the shop Andy Bush on Absolute Radio announced that The Clash would be on next, now as much as I like that band, I was peckish and didn’t want to wait around listening to whatever song it would be and as there was no queue I headed in. There is choice in this place. My God there is choice. Signs in the window. 3 TV screens with menus are inside and most of the remaining wall space has other menus or food pictures. I opted for the £6.60 medium cod box. Fish, chips and choice of sauce (gravy of course as it’s the law.

Service was quick and to my surprise the box was sealed with strips of sellotape. That’s never happened before but it must be a common part of the service as there was two tape dispensers on the counter.

By the time I’d got served, found a suitable wall for photo taking purposes, broken the sellotape, taken the picture and put my headphones back on I’d missed The Clash. With the two pubs on Franchise Street both now departed there was nothing to loiter around for so I ate as I walked. Trying to balance the box, eat and not spill any of the gravy in the very full pot made it feel a bit like It’s A Knockout as I ambled along but the food was epic. Really good. Chips divine and fish bang on.

A successful visit although it was sad that Carol wasn’t behind the counter but it has been 25 years since I last went in so she may have sold up. I got my fix of The Clash by playing Bankrobber when I got home.

Copper Fish, 1 Leamore Lane, Leamore Lane, Lemore, Walsall.

There is a tradition in our family that dates back centuries. The weekend after your 49th birthday you have to demolish fish and chips etc etc. Another straight from work jobbie this time jumping on the 32 to Leamore. The 31 was also in but I don’t like odd numbers so I ignored that one.

I met Dave by Farmfoods and we strolled over. I sent him in to the shop first to distract the staff whist I took a picture of the place. All good. There was a sign in the window proclaiming “We serve kebabs that you can trust”. I don’t have trust issues especially with food so there was no need to deviate away from plan A which was fish and chips.

I’d tried to do a bit of research about the menu earlier in the day but the most recent post on their Facebook was about The Queen dying. Now I’m a massive Royalist but even I was thinking “come on, it’s been months now. Let it go and post something about chips”. So I had no clues to the menu as I headed over but it’s a chip shop, so I knew I was on safe ground.

They do curry sauce and Chinese curry sauce which was exciting as you normally only get one option, but it wasn’t exciting enough to tempt me away from the gravy. I scanned the menu in search of material to write about and as I did that I missed the start of the conversation of the old lady next to me. I’m not an eavesdropper but I tuned in to the second part of her chat which was about how she always counts her chicken nuggets in McDonalds as she usually only gets 17 or 18 instead of the 20 ordered. Is Hamburglar now targeting nuggets instead of Ronald’s beef goodness? Either way it sounds like this lady needs to stick to kebabs that she can trust.

Service was quick and very friendly. The package was quite hefty which made me glad I’d done a manual handling refresher course at work the previous week. The total was £10.80. The bundle was wrapped in 4 sheets of paper which brought back happy memories of playing Pass The Parcel as an 8 year old. Chips were ok but the fish was really good. Nice first visit to the place this one.

Sandbank Fish Bar, 95A Elmore Green Road, Bloxwich.

It was National Fish & Chip Day. Well, it had to be done. Rob Harvey picked me up and off we set. Another first time visit this one so it was all very exciting.

Service was quick and the young lady serving was very friendly, enquiring about my day. I explained about it being National Fish & Chip Day and she said it was always that day when she was working. Good point. Me and Rob both had fish and chips but he caused outrage on my behalf by ordering a portion of mushrooms.

The fish and chips were both freshly cooked for us. Rob requested extra salt on his so the lady mentioned that she had marked mine with a star so I knew which was which. I liked this. I’ve not received a star since my school days. Actually that’s fake news. I was crap at school (no O levels Evo they call me), and I don’t recall ever earning a star at either of the shit holes I went to.

Anyway I digress. A comment on the one blackboard read “Keep calm and order fish & chips”. Box ticked. There is a small tv to keep you entertained but I couldn’t tell you what programme was being shown. There is also one chair so lads, let the missus sit and earn some gentleman points.

Our fishes were wrapped separately to the chips which was something I’ve not encountered before but we were soon sat on the car park to the side with the doors open and the sun smiling down on us. It was a big portion and I had to leave some chips but it was a very good visit, especially as Rob paid for my food.

We timed it well as by the time we had finished eating, the shutter had gone down on the shop. A very successful mission.

Chipmasters, 166 Wolverhampton Road, Walsall.

What do normal people do on the hottest day of the year so far? Go for a nice amble in country? Pub beer garden with friends? Or sit on sweltering buses in search of hot fried potato strips? Yeah I chose the latter. First up was Middleton’s in Darlaston but it was closed and not looking like it was reopening anytime soon. So back on the bus, I spent a great hour in the Central Library writing my new project whilst considering my options and when that place closed it was onto the 529.

The man in Chipmasters was very friendly and welcoming and he was regaling the other customer with anecdotes as I mooched around. First thing that caught my eye was a sign on the far end of the counter advising that due to current guidelines customers were requested not to stand by the counter. Trouble is you had to stand by the counter to read this. Another sign advised that carrier bags are 10p each which I’ve never known in a chippie before. 2 signs advised of a long established chip shop in Darlaston that was up for sale due to ill health. Middletons maybe?

The menu was pretty standard but included battered beef burgers which I’ve not heard off before and something I’m not sure I can cope with. The man serving took my order, called me Sir which was nice and explained it would be an 8 minute wait which I was more than happy with.

The food didn’t take long and as he wrapped it the man apologised for the delay but assured me that I knew it was fresh. He also explained that they don’t cook much fish in advance nowadays due to the cost of it and concerns that it won’t sell which is a very sad state of affairs. He did say that the mini fish has become very popular so they do have some of those ready to go.

I’ve got t be honest, I couldn’t really afford this mission yesterday but I was so keen to get a blog out that I went ahead with it. No gravy this time though to save money and I turned down a carrier bag. Aint paying 10p for one of those when I am under emergency tax wage restrictions.

I left, the storm was just beginning and I sat in the bus stop as thunder and lightning occurred. The chips were superb. Lightly battered, with those bits in the bottom and the fish was glorious. A great visit this, and the man serving was so good with his customer interaction I want to go back for more.

Hi. It’s been a while, eh? Apologies for the lack of blogging of late but due to a change in my circumstances I’ve tried to go through May without spending much cash. Throw in another financial setback this week and it’s fair to say that these blogs are probably going to be a bit more sporadic until I find a new housemate.

Despite May’s austerity measures I had budgeted for Saturday. May the 27th, or Sir Ray Graydon Day as it will forever been known to us Walsall FC fans as it marks the anniversary of our play off final win at The Millenium Stadium, Cardiff in 2001.

I left the house and there was a big yellow thing in the sky. Absolutely no idea what it was. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a sight like that. With alcohol incoming food was needed and Jack & Ada’s came up trumps on that front. Good music, great food and a relaxed atmosphere from the fellow customers, with the added bonus of two slices of fried bread with my breakfast. Absolute result. Two old ladies were enjoying fish and chips with a pint of Carling which was great to see. Very civilised. I always thought that a mug of tea with bread butter went best with fish and chips but I must try the Carling route soon.

Jase the landlord of Katz arrived and we had a nice chat as I finished munching but then we had a big decision to make. Walk to AJ’s Ales (about 15 minutes) or get the bus? It was too hot to walk and we decided we couldn’t waste drinking time so within minutes we were sat on the number 32.

My mates Sean, Sammy and Madels were already there so I grabbed a pint of Dukey’s Delight and joined them outside. The beer was absolutely bang on and so clear you could have stuck it in a wall and used it as a window. It was a glorious day and it was so good to finally have outside beers in England (I had some in Dublin in April). Sammy was noticing the warmth a bit more than the rest of us as the zip on her dress was attracting the heat. “Feel my hot zip” she instructed Sean which immediately had me thinking of those sex lines that you would see advertised in either Viz or the Sunday Sport, I forget which. Feel my hot zip 0898 xxxxxx only 75p a minute.

Across from AJ’s on Long Acre Street is The Crown Inn known locally as The Funny House. I’d heard that they are planning on turning this place into flats and as Madels and myself have had some cracking times in there I was hoping we could get one last visit in. Fortunately it was still open and word about it’s possible closure had got round as a few more first time visitee’s if that’s a word had come from AJ’s.

The jukebox had to be done. I walked up, with a song firmly in my head (I was even singing it aloud) but by the time I had worked out how to search for an artist the song had gone from my mind and even now I can’t recall what it was. There is a bit of stress with picking jukebox songs as hey have to be ones you love but you have consider the other customers, all this while your beer is on a table the other side of the pub getting warm. My mind went blank. Sammy came up and mentioned Led Zeppelin. Not my cup of tea by some distance but I did try and search for their songs but the juke box couldn’t find any. You do spell Led with a Q X and K don’t you?

The day before I’d purchased tickets to see Hard-Fi for myself and Madels so I went foir two of theirs, The Clash and as a nod to the recently departed Tina Turner I went for Proud Mary of hers.

Despite the full breakfast I still needed a snack so went for the classic of Scampi Fries. I noticed that there was one pack of dry roasted peanuts left which I felt a bit sorry for but scampi won. If peanuts still had pictures of scantily clad women behind them, I’m guessing that pack would have gone as it was on a prime position on the display. If spot the nipple was a thing like spot the ball used to be, that would have been where I’d have put my cross. Or pack of peanuts.

I made my first loo trip of the day and as I did Madels shouted after me “hey Evo, you’re right you have got a cracking arse”. I shouted “cheers” and a woman by the jukebox said “let’s have a look then”. Now I don’t normally need any encouraging to get my arse out but everyone was enjoying the sun, they didn’t need a moon this early in the day. So I kept my trousers on and just raised my t-shirt and gave her a wiggle. She loved it.

Friends of the blog Ade and Doug who I’ve not seen for yonks came in the pub too so it was nice to have a catch up with them. We were soon joined by Jon and after more booze we decided to head to the New Inn.

During the amble to the New Inn I suddenly needed a poo. I made it to the pub but had to run for the gents. Got in the cubicle and no toilet roll. Disaster. I headed back out into the bar. “Obviously” by McFly was playing. Great song and one that sums up my feelings to a couple of ladies and whilst I normally enjoy the song “This Is An Emergency” by Pigeon Detectives would have been more apt at this juncture. I explained the situation to Sammy and she disappeared into the ladies and came back with sheets of goodness. I left some on the back of the cistern for the next user as I am a Christian individual.

We sat outside and more snacks were incoming this time including Bombay Mix which I took full advantage of. Cheers to Jon for buying but they were so moreish and I think I ate the most by a good distance. I did express my apologies to Sean about this the next day during the general chat after we’d recorded the latest episode of The Long And Shot Of It. He said it wasn’t a problem and that when the packet is ripped open and put on the table it becomes a sharing platter for everyone. I replied “if you open the gates of hell, don’t be surprised if the devil appears”, which made no sense but I know what I meant.

We went inside to watch Luton win the play off final on penalties and the moved on to The Oak Inn at the bottom of Green Lane. Things you need to know about The Oak Inn (1) it sells varieties of Thatcher’s Cider. That is all. If that doesn’t do it for you then pop in anyway. Other booze is available.

A band were preparing to start. I’ve been in this pub many times but have never sampled the live music. I picked a good time to start. The opening numbers were “The One I Love” by R.E.M and “Paint It Black” by The Stones. Setting the bar high there. I didn’t catch the band name but they were really good and threw in two songs that I’ve never seen performed live “It’s The End Of The World As We Know It” by R.E.M and “Ca Plane Pour Moi” from Plastic Betrand. During my 8 months on furlough in 2020 my mission was to learn the latter as a nod to my French granddad but obviously when push came to shove I simply couldn’t be arsed. However I know the chorus well enough so gave that portions.

This was a great visit, a thoroughly great way to end a cracking day. As the clock struck 23 though the band finished and we all departed. After an odd discussion with Jon who was convinced he knew my way home better than me I said the goodbyes and headed back. (by my route, not Jon’s).

I’ve been a bit peckish of late so I’ve done another 5 takeaway reviews and this time it’s a chip shop special. I like this. There may be a volume 2. And 3. Etc.

Kings Fish Bar. 5 Walstead Road, Delves.

This was Middletons when I was a kid and an absolute rare treat to go to in those days. It was Kings though on my last visit which was on the first Tuesday in September 2009. I only know this as it was the first night of my writing course. A night that was to lead to me writing two novels, becoming a stage performer and the blogger that I am nowadays. But it started with chips.

This visit was on March 7th. Well into Lent, possibly the coldest night of the year and I needed a food feast before the expected football feast that was Walsall v Bradford.

I opted for the mini fish deal which included curry sauce. Halfway through preparing my order she turned and pointed out that they didn’t accept card. Why she didn’t say his at the start I wasn’t sure, or why she did at all. There was a big notice on the counter right in front of me pointing this out, I know my eyes are crap but I’d clocked this plus I wasn’t stood there with my flexible friend ready to pounce on the chip and pin terminal. I was paying cash anyway but had it been going on card I’d have splashed out for a fried Mars Bar as I hadn’t given those up for Lent.

They do a good range of drinks but not Lilt so if you are after one last can of that before it is discontinued you will be disappointed.

The food was good to be fair although talking to Chris Steele at the match afterwards he said the battered chips with Peri Salt are incredible and the kebabs are phenomenal. I’ll bear that in mind next time I go which hopefully won’t take 14 years this time.

Jay’s Fish Bar. 149 Pleck Road, Walsall.

No back story to this one, sorry. First time visit. Service was quick and I again went for the mini fish deal, but with the added bonus of a can of Lilt. It was pleasant to sit in there eating nice food whilst watching the rush hour traffic crawl past.

The battered sausage is 5p cheaper on the sign above the counter than the one on the wall so point that out when ordering. The sign writer was clearly having a mare with his sausage on that day as the three times saveloy appeared it was spelt correctly once. Yes I know I’m in no position to throw stones when it comes to spelling but this is my glass house and these are my rocks.

They do chicken nuggets but in decent quantities i.e 6, 10 or 20. None of that having to order 9 bollocks like at McDonalds. Odd incident of the visit was when a man came in, ordered his food then produced something out of a carrier bag which he asked if they could heat up and they happily did. So if your microwave is broken Jay’s do a heat while you wait service.

The only music was a 30 second blast of a somewhat techno version of Belinda Carlisle’s Heaven Is A Place On Earth which was brief but good.

Decent one this. If I’m ever in the vicinity of the Manor Hospital again I might make another visit. And ask if they’ll remove the sweetcorn and put water in my Pot Noodle.

Caldmore Fish Bar. 6 Caldmore Green, Walsall.

Newish place this opening around the time of the pandemic and I went a few times during the first couple of months but then they broke the golden rule. When you have two pieces of chicken and chips for me you should get a drumstick and a breast but on my last visit I got two of the former and I haven’t been back since. But it was time to give them another try.

There was a man awaiting a sizeable order so I took the chance to peruse the menu. During this time another man entered the shop who clearly wanted to be served quickly as he stood right behind me. I was dreading someone in the shop playing Move Closer by Phyllis Nelson on their phone in case he took this as his cue to invade the last remaining millimetre between us. I stood my ground so he moved alongside me. The guy serving though clocked that I was next and quickly took my order. So quick that I forgot to order a scallop.

They do beans. I’ve never known this in a chip shop. Despite my excitement at this I didn’t order any as I had about the same amount in my pantry as a decent corner shop would.

I went for fish and chips and it came in a box. This always adds a bit of class to the proceedings. The food was really good and quickly demolished. They are back in my good books so I need to go back and test the 2 pieces of chicken theory again. And try a scallop.

The Plaice To Eat. 97 High Street, Brownhills.

I had to be in Brownhills to present The Jiggers Whistle with their Walsall CAMRA Cider Pub Of The Year award. I needed food and on the Brownhills Bob page the week before someone ad asked where was best for battered chips. This chippy got a few nods so it was motion carried.

I took the usual photo outside and upon entry I was asked why I’d taken it. This is the first time I’ve been asked that question and it caught me off guard. I said I’m quite forgetful (feasible) and that I like to keep a visual record of where I’ve been. She wasn’t arsey I must point out, just curious which is fine by me.

The next question was more straightforward. “What can I get you darlin?” I like being called darlin. Let’s be honest, I don’t get it very often. I wasn’t ready as I’d not studied the menu so I just went for small chips. “Battered, plain or a mixture?” If battered is an option then that is always the way to go.

I didn’t have time to look round in search of blog material as the brief amount of time it took for my chips to be served was spent trying to work out if there was a toilet down the back or eyeing up the 3 kebab meats. A toilet would have been useful as I’d had 2 pints in Bloxwich before bussing back to Walsall then out to Brownhills so I was close to bursting. Another reason why I had just chips so I didn’t have to loiter outside the pub too long with my legs crossed.

The battered chips were superb and they came with those little batter bits that you don’t get very often. A nice meal, and I made the toilet.

Bek’s. 8 Croft Parade, Aldridge.

Aldridge got a new chip shop this week. I’m a massive fan of the existing Bek’s shop in Darlaston so I was very excited when my legend of a former work colleague Jade told me about this one opening.

I went the day after opening along with Dave and we were warmly welcomed by the owner of the Darlaston store who was in to oversee the new team. He liked that I’d been to the other shop and was very impressed that I’d travelled over from Caldmore to try this one and he announced this to the whole team.

We timed it very nicely as there was just one customer when we arrived but the queue was soon out the door. I went for fish, chips and gravy which came as a deal. They also do beans but they were not included in the deal unlike gravy and curry sauce, but I was happy enough with what I got.

The man from Darlaston carried my food to my seat and also rushed to get me cutlery and a serviette which was a very nice touch. Dave had a mixed meat kebab. He let me sample his meat and it was very good. My fish and chips were really good and gravy just adds levels to it.

I think Dave thought he was in St Matthews Hall (Walsall’s Wetherspoons) as he tried to make friends with everyone who walked in, like he does in that pub. During one lengthy discussion he had with his two new best friends he kept trying to involve me in the conversation to the point where I was going to give him a Homer Simpson style “can’t talk. Eating”.

The shop is very snazzy and the yellow stools look amazing, I so want them should I ever get room to sit in my kitchen. Aldridge you have a great chippy here.

Right that’s this one done and my God it might not be Lent but I really am giving up chips for a bit. Not quite 40 days and nights. Just a bit. Maybe.

While I’m on, my best friend Swill is currently trying to find the best chip shop in Bloxwich. He does proper reviews and actually talks about the food and prices. Give Bloxwich Community News on Facebook a follow if you want to see how his hunt is going.

I didn’t want to get up on Saturday. It was Crewe away though, one of the absolute grade A away games of the season. I pulled the duvet over my head and thought “I’ll go next season”. But it’s Crewe away. One of our big rivalries. There was the added lure that after we went to Dublin for Josh’s stag do at Easter, this was billed as the home leg of his pre marital festivities.

The other plus point for staying in bed was that I didn’t have a ticket for the match. I’d tried to buy one on Wednesday, foolishly thinking that as it’s 2023 an e ticket could be purchased and sent to my phone but the only options were collection from Walsall FC ticket office (no chance) or sent via post (I couldn’t risk this option). The match ticket was £25 and with the booking fee it was almost £27. £27 for a 4th division football match is a bit much. I opted to pay at the turnstile, save the booking fee and spend that on samosas instead*.

I went to Jack & Ada’s. No poached egg on toast this time. I needed something much more substantial so I went for the big full English with a slice of fried bread as an added extra. Fried bread is something I don’t have very often as I reckon it isn’t that good for you but it’s always epic when I do.

I always leave things to the last minute and am rushing around constantly as a result but I allowed myself lots of time to eat and enjoy the food. I even had time for a second cup of tea whilst enjoying the background music which jumped from ELO to The Housemartins. There was also an appearance by Micky Mullin and my former housemate Colin so there was pleasant conversation to go with the food.

I had planned to have a bet on the Grand National but hadn’t seen a list of the horses to make my choice. Also it’s not the same when you can’t actually watch the race, mind I could last year but Craig had me cheering for the wrong horse that time.

With no need to visit the bookies I headed to the railway station and soon we were in Crewe. The Cheshire Inn (formerly Last Orders) was doing a roaring trade with numerous Saddlers already supping outside and a big flag erected on the exterior wall. I carried on as that place is always the last pint before the game venue so I was happy to walk past at this juncture.

I had no set plan other than drink until I heard off Josh as to when and where he would be so I headed for The British Lion as I had seen Facebook check ins there. There was already a good crowd of fellow Saddlers in there so I got a good welcome.

Upon leaving there I ambled down Nantwich Road looking for Beer Dock, a micro pub that I ticked off on Pub Challenge 2. As I passed The Brunswick though I heard a shout of “Evo” so I headed in there. The hunt for Beer Dock was over but that was probably for the best as I didn’t know at that point that it has changed its name to Ebenezer’s so I’d have probably walked past.

In The Brunswick was Andy and Zece who had both been in Dublin along with Gaz and Adam Ellison, Flembo and Guilty. Oh and another Evo who I’d not met before. There was much banter and laughs and then the news came through that Josh wasn’t coming. Oh well, we’d just stag do in his honour.

Madri or “Spanish Carling” as I learnt is it’s alternate name wasn’t on when I walked in but was available by the time I needed a refill so good times. Despite the large breakfast I can always find the room for snackage. The night before my mate Dave said that Walkers had announced they were going to discontinue Salt & Vinegar flavour due to poor sales**. I smelt a rat and thought this was purely to boost sales like when Heinz announced the demise of Salad Cream but on this second visit to the bar I asked for crisps and this flavour was all they had. Wow, sales must be really bad if all other varieties had gone but they still couldn’t shift these. I’m having a packet while I still can. Not my usual choice of flavour, far from it but they went down a storm.

More Saddlers arrived including two lads, now of legal drinking age that Gaz had taught when they were in primary school. One that he remembered and one he didn’t. It reminded me of those episodes of Surprise Surprise but with no singing by Our Cilla for numerous obvious reasons.

More drinks followed, including a random red shot which was surplus and thrust in my direction (thinking Cherry Sourz) but after a very pleasant couple of hours the group decide to move on. Back to The British Lion it was.

We didn’t make kick off. News quickly came through that we had gone a goal down after just 2 minutes. Suddenly spending £25 at the turnstile didn’t seem quite so appealing. We all stayed put. A good sing song followed, which wasn’t totally appreciated by the landlady and locals. Someone crashed the Baby Guinness’s, not sure if it was Dekka or Granty but this ace shot was also appreciated.

We went two goals down, had a man sent off and we were in The Express before the end of the game. I’ve never seen eggs on sale in a pub before so I liked seeing some behind the bar. A bargain price too if you go by the recent discussions on the Brownhills Bob Facebook page.

I opted to try and get a train back an hour earlier than my specified one, and the plan worked with the added bonus of the connecting one at Rugeley Trent Valley being in.

I had planned to go to the Walsall Arms on the evening as it was the landlady Jaz’s birthday bash and 5th anniversary of running the pub celebrations but I was a good boy and went home and got some much needed beauty sleep.

An absolutely superb day with great people without letting the match spoil it. According to the BBC website we had no shots on target, but both of mine certainly were.

*I still haven’t bought the samosas. **This was looked into live during Sunday’s recording of episode 12 of The Long & Shot Of It. Salt & Vinegar in 2017 were part of a “Choose me or loose me” campaign. I’m guessing people chose S & V or that pub has some very old stock.

I woke up last Saturday feeling almost normal. Well, as normal as I can be. After 11 days of having a cold, the longest of my entire life by some distance it was nice to be able to breathe through my nose and say “white rabbits” in my usual ropey accent rather than sounding like I was talking with a mouthful of socks.

Apologies if you’re eating but I have produced so much snot of late I was cussing that it isn’t a tradable commodity as I’d be seriously minted by now. Elon Musk needs to invent a car that runs on it.

I needed a treat after all that lurgy so it was off to Jack & Ada’s for poached egg on toast. There was the usual friendly welcome from Paul although I was thrown by being given 5 choices of tea. English Breakfast tea got the nod and it went down a storm.

I got home and did the usual thing of fannying around and not paying any attention to the clock. Before I knew it, it was too late to walk to Bescot Stadium. Taxi time which arrived very quickly. I’ve been lucky with taxi drivers of late but this one wanted to chat. Oh he really did, starting with his 1st question which threw me. “What’s the best way?” Aren’t taxi drivers supposed to have the knowledge?

“I don’t know, I usually walk there.” He asked again. I reiterated the walking thing. He asked for a third time. I gestured behind me and said “I normally walk that way.” At the bottom of the road he asked “left or right”. I was starting to think I was in a taxi version of 15-1. “Left, and maybe go along the Broadway” I offered. “The Broadway?” he countered “that’s the long way. We’ll go the other way.” It’s so nice to be asked your opinion and then get ignored. A discussion about kick off time followed and then onto one about ticket prices and he couldn’t get his head around the fact that I had a season ticket and didn’t have to pay on the day.

By now I had reached my limit of words that I set myself to say to others in a day and we hadn’t even got through Caldmore. He dropped me off on the main road rather than up the drive like most taxi drivers do, but had he done so he could have squeezed in another discussion so it was probably for the best.

I was shivering a bit as I walked into the Bescot Bar which I put down to the tail end of the lurgy still lingering. I’d announced the day before to my work colleague Matty that I was gong to watch the match sober, which really isn’t recommended but with that shiver I grabbed a coffee instead and saw Jayne Harris who was in no hurry to go into the stand so I stopped to chat with her.

I had no idea that Sutton had scored until an influx of Walsall fans arrived in the bar pretty much all singing from the same “this is shocking” hymn sheet.

In the end I didn’t bother going in the stand at all. I stayed in the bar, and actually saw 2 or 3 people that I hadn’t seen at a game in a good while. Conversely I didn’t see any of the people that I sit with in the stand week in week out.

Afterwards I walked up to Wednesbury Road to get the bus into town and it took a good 20 minutes for one to arrive even though 5 different services serve that stop. It was like they were on strike again. I felt for the lad at the stop who said he left the game at 4.30 and thus had an even longer wait for the 11A to eventually arrie.

Anyway we had equalised late on so after a quick McDonalds it was off to meet Craig in The Oak Inn. The non drinking part of the day was over and this place does three different versions of Thatcher’s cider so it was straight onto the Cloudy Lemon variety.

They have started doing live music now at The Oak and I was really looking forward to an Oasis tribute act which for some reason I’d got in my head as being mid April. During the fannying around earlier in the day I’d double checked when it was only to discover it was the previous Friday, which if you recall from the last blog was when I was at the Scotch Egg festival in Wolverhampton with the heavy cold. Perhaps it was for the best that I’d missed the night as any attempt to sing along to Don’t Look Back In Anger with that cold would have come out as “though thally can wait, thee knowth it’th too late ath theeth walking on by”. And nobody wants to hear that.

We hit the quiz machine as is standard procedure and were absolutely robbed by the Pointless game. Sports commentators was the round. We went for Simon Brotherton which scored 7 whilst the opponents went for Harry Carpenter who scored 1. We were not having it. How did less people say Harry Carpenter? Fummin.

There was live music on this night but at the moment it was jukebox selections and someone had put on “Blurry” by Puddle OF Mudd, we knew not who it was but we saluted him/her/they (delete as applicable if you’re reading).

“Is there a turn on at Katz tonight” asked Craig. My hearing isn’t the best and I thought he said “is Eternal on at Katz tonight?” God imagine that. A pint of AJ’s and a flirt with Louise Redknapp. I reckon I could impress them with my rendition of Oh Baby I. Jase, if you’re reading please make this happen.

We moved onto The Registry where we learned that it was a sailor party night. A quick glance around the room revealed nobody dressed in that attire, which was slightly disappointing. Music was decent in here including two songs by The Specials but there were no sea shanties. On the way out a lass walked in dressed as a sailor. I’m usually late to the party for most things but for once I was early. That’s one for the calendar.

Next up was Black Country Arms as I really wanted a pint of Stonehenge “Sign Of Spring”, a seasonal green beer which is only available in March/April. It was divine and a delight to be putting something green in my mouth rather than it coming out my nose. We had music from AC/DC and Def Leppard in here, the music is always good in The BCA. Except for a bizarre incident in 2012 where they played 2 UB40 songs which still haunts me.

Finally we moved onto Katz. Thee was no sign of Eternal. We grabbed SeaCider Honeycomb cider (delightful) and headed upstairs for retro gaming action. Craig dicked me at both Ms Pac-Man and Pleasure Goal. It might have been a different story had Louise been about to impress but Jamie Redknapp’s punditry at my performance on Pleasure Goal would not have been complimentary.

The last action of the night saw Craig head to Wishbone to sort out the kebab meat and chips whilst I headed to Ablewell to request a taxi, which in a nice bit of luck they both arrived together so it was home to munch with minimal hanging around. Another cracking day.

Friday was the 4th day of Spring, and also my 4th with the lurgy. I had a head full of snot and my voice, not the greatest at the best of times was sounding dreadful. I know film remakes are all the rage at the moment but if they did the same to that 1980’s Tunes advert where your man is at the railway station trying to buy a “1st class dicket to Dottingham” I’d have been a shoe in for the lead role.

Despite feeling rubbish there was a Scotch Egg Festival taking place at Hail To The Ale, a micropub in the Claregate area of Wolverhampton. I wanted in. All I had to do was get through the working day and it was on.

It was a standard day although the odd incident was when my boss (also a director) bent down behind me and I farted. Yep, a loud one. I immediately apologised but he saw the funny side. It appears to not be a disciplinary offence.

On the afternoon we had Virgin Radio on, which I’ve not listened to since it’s re-launch and they played some right belters which really made the time fly. Song of the day though was when I nipped down to Production and they had Heart 70’s on and were playing “Let Your Love Flow” by The Bellamy Brothers. Such a wonderful happy song and it always makes me want to get a water slide home from work like in the Barclaycard advert.

I left work, forgetting to clock out in my excitement and headed to McDonalds for a quick Fillet O Fish. I felt slightly guilty at this as despite not being religious I had given fish up for Lent. Mind, that ship had sailed and done a round the world cruise the week before when I got through a box of 30 fish fingers in 4 days. On the last sitting I even told myself “you need to lay off the fish fingers” which mad me smile as it’s a decent but totally random insult. I look forward to using it next time I’m having an argument, even if I’m winning it.

I met Daz and we headed to the pub arriving soon afterwards and into the world of ale and eggs. Now previous pub Scotch Egg missions have been indifferent. When I went to Berwick in 2017 one of the main reasons was because a micropub up there did a haggis Scotch Egg. I got there and they had sold out. When Katz did a pop up Scotch Egg stall Daz and myself ordered the same one. My came neat. His arrived perfectly presented with salad and a crescent of crisps (Alan Partridge would have been happy). They used his for publicity photos and made a fuss of him “hope you enjoy” etc whilst I felt invisible, like I do when trying to get served in The Tap And Tanner nowadays.

We grabbed drinks and Daz studied the menu while I surveyed the room. There was a copy of the amazing R.E.M album Automatic For The People on a ledge by us which was a good start. I am now on my 5th copy of this album having bought and lent it out to not get it back several times. The pub owner explained that the cd’s are free to anyone who wants them, so if you don’t own or have never heard this then don’t come to me. Head to Hail To The Ale instead.

Daz opted for Venison & Red Currant egg whilst I went for Breakfast. Mine was devine but as breakfast it would have been nice to have a slice of fried bread with it. Daz liked his too and he followed it up with Chilli & Lime which was “very limey” and he wasn’t quite so sure about this one.

Hail To The Ale is a great micropub. It opened back in 2013, was the first in the West Midlands and the first that I ticked off. The beer is good, it gets lots of custom and has a friendly atmosphere. In fact when a second dog turned up, there no was no barking when it met the first dog. Just lots of tail wagging. Even dogs respect the friendly atmosphere. Talking of dogs, if you like them you will love the toilet as there is lots of pictures of them.

We didn’t stay long as we wanted to make a final visit to The Malthouse, Willenhall’s Wetherspoons which closes today (Sunday). Sorry to see this place go as it is one of the best ones round here, and it’s sad for all of the staff including my mates Adam & Joe who have worked there for years.

It was busy as we arrived. Joe was on duty so it was good to see him, shake his hand and wish him all the best. We sat right at the back on the slightly raised section where I’ve never sat before.

I made a final trip to the toilet. In here the 7 urinals are in a near semi circle shape. If I ever took the pub on, my plan was to extend the toilets, put another 8 urinals in and make a complete semi circle. Quiz night would then be like a urine based version of 15-1. Get a bloke at each urinal and people are out of the game when they get a question wrong or finish their piss. Winner gets a £25 bar tab which is decent for Wetherspoons. Channel 4 would have paid me millions for this.

Daz had stuff to do so he dropped me off in town and I headed to St Matts Hall as I knew the Wetherspoons beer festival was on. I noticed that all the benches on Leicester Street have been removed, I’ve no idea why. Had I known they were going I’d have put a bid in for the one that Jon McClure (lead singer of Reverend & The Makers) had done his couple of post gig numbers on in 2012.

I was frisked upon reaching St Matts whuch hasn’t happened before. Two hot lasses were chatting to the bouncers and one asked of me during the frisking “are you sure you’ve not got anything under your hat”? I explained that the only thing under my hat was my mossiv head. I then removed the hat and they cheered. It’s not often I have the opportunity to get something massive out for the ladies.

I had one quick pin of something I’d never heard of, discovered that you can’t leave by the front doors anymore and headed home. It was a decent night.

On Thursday, The Swan on Pelsall Road in Brownhills reopened after being purchased and renovated by Black Country Ales. On Wednesday evening there was a launch event which some members of Walsall CAMRA were invited to.

I left work and caught the no 10 to Brownhills. I had a rough idea where The Swan is, but wanted to make sure as I wasn’t feeling ambling along aimlessly in the cold dark miserable evening. As you’ve seen on previous blogs I don’t like asking strangers for directions. Oh if only I knew people in Brownhills. Hmmmm Colin and Teresa who own The Jiggers Whistle. I could go in there and ask them. I accidentally got off a stop early, standard behaviour on my behalf but I was soon there.

The Jiggers Whistle has just won the Walsall CAMRA Cider Pub Of The Year award again so to mark this I had a pint of Lilley’s lemon and lime whilst gleaning the directions. I didn’t bother taking my coat off. I knew the cider was going to be good and not taking long to polish off, and so it transpired. I popped to the loo and as I made my way back the classic song by The Smiths “There Is A Light That Never Goes Out” came on. This almost made me take my coat off and stay for a second but it was best to press on.

As mentioned The Swan is now a Black Country Ales pub and you know what you are getting in their houses. A homely comfortable feel, great range of ales and decent cobs. Existing BCA pubs in the borough are Black Country Arms and Pretty Bricks in Walsall Town Centre, Robin Hood in Willenhall and Duke Of Cambridge in Short Heath. All very worth a visit.

The pub was already busy upon arrival with the Walsall CAMRA delegation of Gary, Bob, and Ray already enjoying the hospitality with Martin soon joining us to complete the party. They had Salopian “Lemon Dream” on. My favourite ale. What a way to launch a pub and earn brownie points. It was very good.

The pub used to be a two room venue with a central bar but it is now all in one with the bar to the right. There was a brand new dartboard without a prick hole in it (I checked). I could have thrown nine darts and it would have remained like this, though the wall around it may not have been so lucky.

Munchies were provided with the coated prawns being divine. I turned my nose up though at the tart like things that were Shropshire Blue cheese and caramelised onion. I’ve never wanted blue cheese and I can take or leave onions despite my French heritage. I relented though and tried one in the name of research and it was delicious. Sometimes I enjoy having to put my investigative journalist hat on.

The room continued to fill. It was really was a well attended launch night and I was delighted for BCA head honcho Angus (who I met for the first time on this night) and the licensees and bar staff. It was good to see Kim from Black Country Arms and Bar from Pretty Bricks in attendance too.

Next up was a couple of pints of BCA’s BFG (Bradley’s Finest Golden) which was excellent. It was then time to check out the loos. These were all new as well and I immediately wondered if anyone had had a dump in the toilet yet. Pub had been open over an hour so I guess someone had.

In the toilets was an advert for the in house coffee with a big slogan saying “too cold for a pint”? I’ve got to say that during the recent Walsall v Bradford City match is the coldest I have been for a good while and I still fancied a pint after that so the coffee was on the back burner this time.

It was an excellent evening, big thank you to Black Country Ales for the invite but it was time to head back to town. I was delighted to learn that there was a no 8 bus stop just down the road and that turned up just a minute late. We stopped off at the Black Country Arms before we went our seperate wys.

Good luck to the Swan, it’s going to be a great success.

Episode 3 of The Long And Shot Of It is now out. Sean says this is his favourite so far.

Last Saturday didn’t run smoothly to start with. I had a couple of jobs to do on the PC, both of which took far longer than I expected. So I didn’t leave the house until after 2pm. Slight pain as I had been craving poached egg on toast from Jack & Ada’s all week and by now it was too late to head there. “Cook it yourself at home” I hear people exclaim. Well at the risk of sounding like Kryten from Red Dwarf, that is an excellent suggestion with just 2 small drawbacks. (1) I didn’t have any eggs. (2) the last (and only) time I tried to cook poached eggs they turned out like a lava lamp. Kids ask someone who was cool in the 1970’s.

I needed cash so headed to town and then to catch the 45 to Bescot Stadium. Turns out it is now half hourly (I swore it was every 15 or 20 minutes until NXWM gave up the route in January). Diamond who took it over have reduced the frequency and are giving the service up completely and now I had missed it by 5 minutes.

I was still hungry. I glanced at Greggs but I’ve not been in there since a lukewarm inedible sausage. cheese and bean melt incident in January. A bus that would get me a third of the way to the ground arrived and I jumped on that.

I say jumped it was more slowly following a family. The dad sat down half way up the bus whilst the rest remained in the buggy area. He then decided he needed to speak with the missus and shot forward, barging into me and knocking me over. I gave him a loud “bloody hell” and continued on my way. I found a seat, he got back in his and everyone was happy.

Then a lady got on the bus that looked liked the lead singer of Kings Of Leon. I hoped that she would start belting out 4 Kicks and that everyone in the vicinity would start fighting during the instrumental parts like in the video. Okay, I admit that my sense of imagination sometimes runs away from me but if group violence had broken out on that vehicle I’d have been straight up and at Mr Bargey Bargey Man.

I got to Bescot Stadium at 3.20. I was still hungry. I tried for the 8th game in a row to get Quavers out of the Bescot Bar vending machine. “This product is disabled” again. Sigh. I hope at the Fans Forum on March 27th people rise up about this issue. #freethequavers.

I grabbed a latte from the other machine and a cheeseburger from the catering van and finally made my way into the stand around the 26th minute mark. I watched about 12 minutes of the game and went back to the bar.

A few post match beers followed then a taxi to Ablewell Fish Bar, it was finally time to eat something substantial. Reguar kebab meat and chips, no sauce or salad please. I don’t like salad on my breakfast. I demolished this whist ambling up to The Wheatsheaf. Recently Goughy and Harriet had a daughter Imogen and it was wetting the baby’s head time.

There were good showings all round, both from people out for the occasion and also the line up of ales on the bar. When coming to serve me though the barman did that annoying thing of just looking at me rather than trying to ascertain what I wanted via the medium of words.

I love a group photo and we were all summonsed outside for one. Naturally I took my pint with me and made sure I was at the front. A nice lady took the picture and a couple of the lads were encouraging her to flash which she did but only with the camera phone.

Whilst supping my Green Duck Session IPA I noticed on the blackboard craft cider at £2.20 pint. No other clues. I love a booze and I like a bargain so that was next up. The conversation went along the lines of “can I have a pint of the £2.20 cider please?” “Cloudy or clear?” “Whichever is £2.20”. I got cloudy. It really was £2.20 and it was good.

Before I departed I made the standard toilet visit. A gent in there let out 8 good belches in a row which I liked as it saved me listening to Paul McCartney And The Frog Chorus which I had been planning to do. I left and was tucked up in bed with a mug of tea in time to listen to Nick Abbot on LBC. Good times.

Episode 2 of The Long And Shot Of It is now out, this one filmed in Katz. Better microphones are on the way to hide the background noise.