Evo Boozy Scribbler

Back in 2021 myself, Asps and Swill had tickets to see Belinda Carlisle. Like most things in that era it got cancelled and rescheduled for 2023 which seemed a lifetime away. But it flew by and the big day finally arrived a week last Friday.

On the morning I got to work and within two minutes of starting I was walking through the production area where they had Heart 80’s on (as opposed to Heart 00’s in our section) and their radio was playing Heaven Is A Place On Earth. This was a sign that it was going to be a good day.

I left work and went to meet Asps and Chris (a very last minute replacement for Swill). The plan had been to meet up in Bar 10, have a couple of beers then jump on the chuff chuff to Birmingham. Then another train strike was called. Oh the joy. Plan B was to catch the X51, a nice fast limited stop bus. Unfortunately this appeared to also be on strike. After a good while a normal stop everywhere 51 turned up. We watched as this departed packed to the rafters. Then another one turned up, which we opted to dive on. Not many takers for this one which was nice as it was one of the brand new buses with hardly any seats downstairs. Despite being a stop everywhere 51, we sailed through and arrived quickly in Birmingham all for the new limited time offer maximum fare price of £2.

Upon reaching Brum Asps and Chris needed the loo, my bladder was behaving for once but it was food I needed. We headed to the nearby Burger King only to find the upstairs section with the toilets already closed. It wasn’t even 7pm. Fortunately Chris knew of a McDonalds on the way, one I’d not been in before. He reffered to it as the Rackhams McDonalds. This, like Vienna to Midge Ure meant nothing to me but it was open and all facilities available.

The lads at work had been giving me banter on the day as I mentioned that I was seeing Belinda Carlisle on the night and how I’d had a thing for her since I was 14 years old in 1988. They reckoned that I was going to misbehave and end up on Crimewatch. |In this McDonalds there is a corridor to the toilets and unknown to me a policeman followed me down it as I went to powder my nose. He actually emerged out of the ladies with a member of staff and followed me back up the corridor much to Chris and Asps amusement who thought he was after me. Maybe the lads at work were right but I wasn’t expecting the cops to be after me before I’d seen Belinda.

Whilst waiting for our food talk turned to Radio 2 as Chris and Asps both listen to it and Belinda had appeared on Ken Bruce’s show 2 days earlier. The plan had been for me to listen back to that feature whilst writing this but I am typing this 5 days later than planned and listening to the Radio X Indie Night instead. I will check it out soon honest.

Anyway we all emptied our bladders and filled our stomachs and began to walk to Symphony Hall. It was at this point that I revealed this was my third time of seeing Belinda, as Steve Stuart got me a ticket to a tour warm up gig that she did at Stoke University in 1995 and Blackpool Jane got me one for my 40th birthday at Birmingham Town Hall. At revealing this Asps called me a weird stalker. Hmmmm, nah not really.

To break up the journey we stopped at The Colmore, a superb Thornbridge pub. It wasn’t the busiest that I’ve seen it but there were a few well dressed people in there as you would expect in a pub close to the financial district. It was hard to tell if they were in the straight from work brigade or the out for the evening crowd. Well technically I was in both of these camps but without the well dressed part.

I tried to check out what all 8 handpulls were offering but a couple were blocking the last 2. I twice asked politely if I could see what they were but I was ignored. I’ve not exactly got arms like Bo Selecta Mick Hucknall but I leaned across and just managed to get a finger tip on the left pump clip of the two, enough to turn it slightly in my favour and reveal the words brown ale, which totally lost my interest. I went back and had a pint of Crackendale which was on the easily visible pump no 1.

Talk moved onto the gig and that Belinda was being supported by The Christians. “What was their big hit?” Asps asked of me. “Harvest For The World, but my favourite is Hooverville” I replied. “They also did Ideal World” Chris added. And that was it. We’d named 3 songs by The Christians in 10 seconds. Ken Bruce would have been very impressed.

We made it to Symphony Hall, grabbed a pint and made our way to our seats in the grand tier. Way up in the gods but a great view. We caught about a minute of The Christians set who were finishing with Harvest For The World. As they walked off I shouted “Hoovervile” a couple of times. They either didn’t hear me (feasible) or ignored me as they didn’t come back on to do it. Had I been more convinced of the latter I’d have shouted “were you up the bar in The Colmore earlier?”

There was an interlude and I took the opportunity to get drinks. Downstairs I’d had a pint of Lawless Lager and Asps had an IPA, only problem now was this was a bottle only bar. Whilst waiting an announcement rang out “the show will continue in 3 minutes”. Now when I’m on stage with AMCS we get a 5 minute warning when the show is starting. This usually leads the rest of the performers to eagerly rush downstairs whereas I sit back down and open another tube of Pringles. This warning meant something though as I wanted to see Belinda walk out.

I made it up to the bar.”Have you got a golden ale or an IPA please?” I asked. “Er, we’ve got Peroni” came the reply. She hadn’t got a clue what I meant. I spotted bottles of Purity “Ubu” in the fridge. I know the brewery, not the beer. “Is Ubu an ale?” I asked. She looked confused. Thankfully the couple next to me confirmed it is. Bottles purchased, I dashed back and the show hadn’t started.

The two seats next to me were still empty but then two lads came to fill them. The guy immediately next to me gave me a warm greeting which I reciprocated. Yes, most unlike me I know. We didn’t exchange names but let’s call him George.

Belinda came out and launched into “We Want The Same Thing” which was a great start. A few more hits followed but it took until song 6 before one of my 5 grade A must hear songs “Circle In The Sand” occurred. I loved this and George also upped his enjoyment levels during this number too. Number 2 on my shopping list “La Luna” was next to be performed. Me and George glanced at each other during this one, thrust an arm out and sang the chorus in unison.

Belinda was on a roll now and a 3rd song of my must hear list “Summer Rain” was next up. Belinda gave a wave whilst singing “I can see my baby waving from the train”, me and George waved back. Chris popped out during this one and returned with the grave news that the bar was closed. I didn’t care, I was in the zone.

A few more songs passed before another must hear “Leave A Light On” occurred. People in front were up on their feet dancing for this one. Me and George by now weren’t just singing together, we were practically fine tuning our harmonies.

Belinda did a couple more and went off for the encore. I turned to George. “I just need Runaway Horses now and I’m happy”. I need “Live Your Life Be Free” he replied. Encore one was a couple of slow numbers. Encore two started with “Live Your Life Be Free”. George gave this absolute portions. One song later and it was last song of the night “Vision Of You”. Hate to sound a bit like Wayne’s World but no Runaway? Denied.

It was a superb show though and I thoroughly enjoyed every second. We made our way out but went to the toilets by the venue exit only to find them closed. Closed whilst everyone was making their way out. I know Birmingham has these clean air zones now but are they trying to bring in “thou shalt not piss zones” too? Ridiculous.

Chris knew of a nearby pub but alas it had closed down. After a decent walk we arrived at the The Old Contemptibles. “Are you still open?” Chris asked a member of staff outside. “We stop serving in 7 minutes” came the reply. We dashed inside. My bladder had behaved during the gig but now I needed to go. I saw a member of staff emerge down a stairway. “Are toilets up there?” I asked. The result was positive.

Then a customer got involved. The conversation went “there’s a disabled toilet just over there”. I don’t like using disabled toilets as I’m able bodied and feel that these should be reserved for disabled folk. “I’m okay, I don’t mind going upstairs” I replied. “They are only there” he countered. “I really don’t mind going upstairs”. “Nobody will mind you using those”. I know he was being helpful but by now I was prepared to beg for him to let me go. I just muttered a thanks and dashed upstairs.

Chris used modern technology and ordered us a Uber. He said it was due and we went outside. By some coincidence a taxi with Walsall plates pulled up in front of us. Thinking it was ours we piled in only for Chris to pint out that our cab was pulling up behind it.

The taxi back was quick, and dropped me off on the main road by my house. So much quicker and handier than getting the train so the strike actually did us good.

I got home and ate a prawn cocktail whilst listening to Runaway Horses. Heaven may be place on Earth but so is my bedroom and although it had been a superb night, I was glad to see this especially with work on the morning. Cheers Belinda, who now joins Maroon 5, Boy Kill Boy and Unhinged (sadly now disbanded local shouty band) on the artists who I have seen 3 times list. Hard-Fi remain in first place on 4 viewings.

I still owe you the final instalment of the A – Z of unticked Walsall eateries. I’m still 3 visits off completing that so I will get it sorted soon all being well. But, and it’s a big but in the meantime I’ve been a bit peckish so I’ve been making first time visits to more places.

Scoffs. 188 High Street, Bloxwich.

I’ve got to be honest, despite being a regular visitor to Bloxwich, I had no idea of this place. Then one day Swill, one of my absolute best friends, raved about it and their battered chips. This needed looking into.

Mid December and one cold Saturday morning the Walsall v Crewe match was called off giving me some unexpected free time. It was to become munchie time and I did not mess about, arriving in Bloxwich just after midday. Scoffs had a big poster in the window offering seasonal battered items. Mince pies (er no), pigs in blankets (feasible) and sprouts. Sprouts, whilst not as high on the axis of evil as cauliflower, they still reside on it. The thought of them nearly made me retch and almost caused an abandonment of the mission but I was brave, put them to the back of my mind and ventured in.

There was a seated area which made me think “I’ll have me a bit of that”, I was served quickly and opted for the mini fish and battered chips with gravy. I made my way to the dining area and spotted a couple with mugs of tea. Hot beverages hadn’t even crossed my mind. I marched back to the counter (the young lass who served me looked a bit startled at this), I returned and sat down with beverage on the way feeling very at peace with the world.

The food and drink was amazing. Chips delightful, fish yummy and the gravy was ace. Tea is always nicer when made by someone else and to be honest I’m shit at making it despite it being the second thing my dad taught me after how to piss in the potty.

This was a superb visit and when I do these reviews I always say “yeah I’ll go back there” and rarely do but this place I was back at again a week later for pre alcohol stomach lining. Later in the day this time but the chips were ace again although the seated area was closed so I had to scoff whist standing outside Wetherspoons looking like the uncouth slob that I am. You need to visit this place everyone.

Burger And Sauce, Stafford Street, Walsall.

Located in what was Hearnshaws home furnishings store at the bottom end of Stafford Street this bright and airy burger joint opened recently. First points were earned with it being warm. It was a freezing cold mid January day and the last couple of hours at work we’d had the shutter wide open for no other reason I could see than someone was having a giggle.

As the name suggests you pick your burger (I went chicken with all vegetation held) then the sauce to go on it (signature in this instance) and job’s a good un. I was tempted by the lemon pepper chicken wings but had to pass with time being short as I was meeting Swill to see M3Gan at The Light Cinema (great film).

It’s not the cheapest burger place, no 99p McDonalds saver menu here which may have put off the family of 3 who followed me in and walked back out a minute later. Or maybe they’d come to buy some rugs and carpets.

The food didn’t take long to be cooked and the lady behind the counter earned bonus points by pronouncing Mikee correctly when calling me up. The food was hot, tasty and very enjoyable.

The place is clean, bright and airy. There were a small handful of other customers but the delivery men were in and out the whole time so the take out side is doing well.

I liked this place. One of their slogans is “let’s get saucy” a sentiment that I can truly get on board with and they do a 15% NHS discount which is decent of them and something I will keep in mind should I ever get a job with said organisation.

BRRGRR, 42 Old Square, Freer Street, Walsall.

One of my bug bears of modern life is this new craze of taking the vowels out of words (or just one of them with the infuriating rise of people spelling colour without the u). With how languages evolve I’m worried that vowels will soon become a thing of the past making the choosing the letters part of Countdown a bit less exciting, though viewers on S4C will love it. Anyway I visited a new vowel less burger joint on a freezing Saturday straight from work (shutter open again – oh the joy) with the intention of lining the stomach ahead some pre Walsall v Swindon booze.

First thing that hit me that the warm Yin of Burger And Sauce was countered here by a cold slap of Yang. Absolutely no heating on. I’d had no breakfast so decided to pig out. Meal deal, side and drink. Lavish it on me.

The menu is quite extensive. The dearest item is the DIRRTY BRRGRR, ideal if Christina Aguilera is ever in town. This £13.49 bad boy has 3 smashed beef patty’s cheese, turkey rashers and chicken sausages, plus vegetation. I’m a tightwad though so went for FISH BRRGRR asking for the lettuce to be held which was clarified and confirmed by the lady serving.

I settled down and opened Facebook. Oh. The Swindon match had been postponed hours earlier. Oh well, food and home for a kip instead. The kip turned into a long, unplanned thoroughly enjoyable pub crawl

Three blokes came in, one of them removed his jacket which I thought was brave of him. He ordered his food and put it back on again.

I’d ordereed fish burger, chicken and cheese loaded fries, BBQ chicken wings and a vanilla milkshake. It wasn’t a mega long wait for the food but the fries were lukewarm at best. The fish burger still had the lettuce on it, along with a a big tomato slice which wasn’t in the brochure and there was no sign of the cheese. The milkshake was amazing though.

Ths is a nice place. They have certainly spent some money and put some thought into it. I’ll probably go back when the warmer months arrive.

Peppers City, 21-23 Stafford Street, Walsall.

Don’t let the name fool you. They don’t just serve peppers, they do nice food too. Good start to this visit as a nice Just Eat driver held the door open for me. Well I assume it was Just Eat although I know other sites like this exist but I’ve never used any of them as I’m from the 1970’s and don’t do technology.

Plenty of choice in here, so much so that when a couple came up the counter behind me I was still perusing. I let them be served and turned to my left where there was more options. Then the double egg blaster jumped out at me. Yes please. Hold the lettuce (they did).

The food was quick, hot and really good. There was a good sprinkling of customers for a cold Monday evening in January. One wall is dedicated to slogans with my favourite being “arrive hungry, leave smiling” which I did on both counts. Not quite beaming but yes a nice smile.

Only one toilet in here which is unisex so quite popular so be warned that someone may want in whilst you are in there. Somebody gave the door a good furious tugging whilst I was in full flow so remember to lock that door. Good visit this, to the venue I mean not the toilet.

Beast. 144A Lichfield Street, Walsall.

Walsall gets a lot of bad press but come on, how many towns have got a takeaway called Beast? Please don’t send lists if there’s shitloads.

I’ve been a regular at this place in its various guises over the years but not since it’s been Beast and as it’s the closest takeaway to what will be my parlour in the town hall when I become Mayor, I thought I’d best tick it off again

I perused the menu in the window. First excitement is they do lasagne. I’ve never known a takeaway do this. For £2.20 more you get a drink and garlic bread thrown in. That’s happening one of the nights. Further excitement occurred when I saw they do a Flake milkshake. This wasn’t happening though as it was a cold Monday evening and I didn’t want to be hanging around outside with a milkshake, especially as I was soon to be meeting Swill in The Registry where pints of Inch’s cider were on the agenda.

I ventured in and ordered the regular mixed kebab meat and fries. Whilst waiting I looked around. There is a big stash of plastic cutlery available if you want to stock up before they ban it. I also took a menu and had another look. This one contradicted the one in the window somewhat. The milkshakes were £2 dearer but a bigger range, including a Lion Bar one. If I’d known that when ordering then Swill and the pints of Inch’s might of been waiting for me a while.

Not much in the way of furniture in here. Just one table and stool which to be fair would suit me on Valentines Day. “Table for one please my good man. I’ll have the lasagne, garlic bread, Lion Bar milkshake and the finest plastic cutlery please”. It would be the best Valentines Day ever, mind that would be the case if I stayed in and ate dust.

The food was good. The chicken was freshly cooked and divine. The lamb kebab? Well it’s lamb kebab, you know what you’re getting. You’d have had to walk under several ladders, break a mirror, kill a spider and flick the v’s at a black cat to get rubbish lamb kebab meat.

Cracking visit this one. I Love doing these reviews but I might have to calm down a bit. I’ve had fish fingers in the freezer for a fortnight now and that’s never happened before. Thanks for reading.

Last year I was struggling for blog material and inspiration, as is still the case nowadays. Then I heard that The Falcon in Willenhall was to close and also that the Robin Hood had new licensees so would need a re-visit, then suddenly the idea of a bird themed blog came to mind.

The Falcon Inn. Gomer Street West, Willenhall.

Class pub was this. Not just a permanent fixture in The Good Beer Guide but it’s place was cemented in. Me, Daz and Neil turned up a few days before it’s closure last May. We walked into the back room, totally unaware of the dartboard behind the door and almost walked into a match, bringing back memories of when I was about 8 and my brother chucked a dart that suck in my head. My forehead is somewhat bigger than a triple 20 so he didn’t need the aim of Michael Van Gerwen. Had I known I was entering a live sporting field of play I might have got naked first. I’ve always wanted to do a streak.

Anyway the pub was busy. We had a pint in each room and lamented this sad loss. The three of us then headed for The Robin Hood.

The Robin Hood. 54 The Crescent, Willenhall.

There was a quiz in progress as we approached. I’m generally shit at these but was on 2 points before I’d even got through the door. The pub was very busy for a Thursday evening. We squeezed into a corner and enjoyed fine ale and the quiz in general. Some of the team names were a bit risque with Quiz On My face being my favourite with Growlergate being another reflecting the big news story of the time about Angela Rayner apparently flashing her mott at Boris Johnson in the House Of Commons.

We did well on the quiz to be fair. Daz reckoned we were in second place on the questions we’d heard since arriving. There was then a round on Game Of Thrones. A few people protested they’d never watched it but the quiz master didn’t care. As a former presenter of quizzes myself you really shouldn’t do rounds where some teams don’t stand a chance of scoring any points. Each to their own though. This was a great visit. I gather the pub has been extended since so I need to go again. We finished our drinks, Daz and Neil went back To The Falcon, and I have no idea what I did next. I’m sure it would have involved a 529 then a pint.

The White Swan, 276 Bradford Street, Digbeth, Birmingham.

Daz and myself visited this place just before lockdown 1 in 2020 and were saddened to hear it was closing down. It reopened in 2021 though and I finally got around to going again in May 2022. Digbeth is just the best part of Birmingham for drinking and The White Swan is the stand out pub.

There were only a couple in when I arrived and they were clearly first timers as the man of the pair sought directions to the toilets from the very friendly barman. I finally had a pint of Fixed Wheel beer which was decent. I then needed the loo before departing.

Next to the toilet door was a poster for a retro gaming night, which I stopped to read. Whilst doing so I let out a pretty decent fart, thinking there is nobody about, the perfect crime. But as soon as the anal noise subsided the door behind me opened. It was the lady from the couple. She made a comment about the poster. I muttered an agreement, dashed into the loo and basically left her to it. I have visions of them on the night back in their local. “We went in this magnificent pub in Digbeth but there was this right dirty bastard…….”.

Anyway this a superb pub and I was going to end this report by saying that if you haven’t been, then you need to pretend you are in the band T-Rex as this is a White Swan that needs to be ridden. But unfortunately it closed again in November. Let’s hope it gets taken on again.

The one that flew away. The Dead Pigeon, 3787 High Street, Chatham.

You know how our phones are apparently listening to us? Well Josh called to talk about the best man suit fitting. Suddenly my Facebook feed was full of suit hire ads. I told Daz about this blog prior to our visit to The Falcon, and I then randomly on Facebook got an advert for The Dead Pigeon pub in Chatham. It had to be done.

I booked the train. I even splashed out £70 on a hotel, on the river and just 5 minutes walk from the pub in question. I am a bugger for staying in hotels miles from where I need to be to save money. I finally learned the error of my ways when I had a ticket to see Imagine Dragons in Manchester in 2015 but booked a b & b in Eccles to save money. There was a train strike that day and I didn’t fancy getting a taxi or the tram back from Manchester late at night so had a pub crawl of Eccles instead.

Anyway this trip didn’t happen as it was scuppered by the very first of the current wave of train srikes. Arse, I would still like to go one day though.

The Goose. Lichfield Street, Wolverhampton.

I’ve been trying to get the last tick for this blog for ages. The Eagle in Buxton, whilst a decent pub didn’t really glean much material and a couple of attempts to go to one in Solihull have failed so this Wednesday just gone me and Dave headed to Wolverhampton to revisit this place.

It took ages for a 529 to turn up in Walsall and then I kid you not, 5 of them arrived together. 3 went straight into not in service mode. Whilst waiting to depart, another one turned up. We then had a procession of 3 529’s all heading to Wolverhampton. It felt a bit Italian Job but without the gold although by the time we got to Wolvo I could have happily pushed one of the buses down a cliff. I ambled down the stairs casually. I was the last to get off the bus and the driver tried to shut the doors on me. “Ah, we know you love Walsall. We are taking you back there”. He did let me off though

This pub feels very much like a Wetherspoons but isn’t. The beer choice wasn’t up to much so I went for a Strongbow Dark Fruit. No Madri or Inch’s in a pub nowadays is poor form.

The decor and the lamps in here have a cheap motel feel, which is totally fine by me. There wasn’t many other customers although one of them had won so much on the fruit machine it took a good couple of minutes listening to that clanking noise as it paid out. There were two pool tables which excited Dave but made me yawn quite loudly. The only decent song was Stop by the Spice Girls, which to be fair is far from the top of the list of their best songs.

We only had one pint in here before heading to The Posada. On the way back to Walsall we stopped in Willenhall. Dave was quite eager to get in the Wetherspoons and ran down the stairs of bus, missing the bottom two and going flying causing everyone on the lower deck to point and either laugh or tut depending on their perspective. I again ambled casually down, arriving on the lower deck looking quite cool, causing everyone to point and mutter either “isn’t he hunky?” or “look at his cracking arse” depending on their perspective.

So that’s it for this edition. I’d love to do a volume 2 so if you know of a pub with a bird that I’ve not yet spotted in it’s name that’s easyish to get to from Walsall please let me know. I’m starting the next one in The Drunken Duck in Walsall Wood. See you there Chris and Mary.

16th December. 6.18 pm. My clock card was about to take its final dive into the machine of the week. Always a joyous moment. My phone rang. I clocked out and answered. It was Josh. “What are you doing later geezer?” he asked. I explained my plans and that I was out with Dave as we were popping our heads into the licensees of The Oak Inn’s 7th anniversary party, of them taking over the pub that is. I know not of their marital or not status.

“I take it you’re celebrating the momentous Walsall FC news?” he further queried. I hesitated. I hadn’t heard any such news. Clearly something had occurred since I came off my break 3 hours earlier. I further paused as I tried to guess what this could be. Walsall FC only dabble in momentous news very sporadically and it usually doesn’t end well. If you don’t know, we owned our old ground Fellows Park, sold it, paid to clean the land up where Bescot sits and for the stadium to be built and ended up not owning it and having to pay rent on it for the next 32 years. The news was that we now owned the ground albeit with a mortgage but we would no longer pay rent to the much disliked former Chairman and owner of the club.

I dashed home. My head was spinning. We’d dreamed of this day for so long. To quote Pink, I was eager to Get The Party Started, so much so I even ordered a taxi to The Oak. It arrived quickly. Neither myself nor the driver tried to instigate conversation which I think suited both of us.

I strutted into the Oak. I’m unsure of the landlady’s name. I think it’s Annabelle but I’m willing to be wrong as I am about lots of things. Anyway she was behind the bar, I wished her happy anniversary which she thanked me for. I ordered a pint of Thatchers Cloudy Lemon Cider and she said it was on the house. This pleased me, especially as I was going to buy her one. Like the tables being turned in my favour.

I’d not taken a sip out of my pint when Adam the landlord, doing a stint behind the decks played the original Last Christmas. I’d gone out of Whamaggedon on day 1. Looking round the pub and nobody else reacted so I guessed they’d all been Whammed too or were not playing. I’d have been gutted to go out then though just after arriving in the pub and without even a mouthful of booze having passed my lips.

Adam played “Rockin’ All Over The Word” and this was Josh’s cue to arrive. He was chuffed this song was on as this was the first tune to be played at the Millenium Stadium after Tom Bennett lifted the trophy following our epic play off final win in 2001. It will always bring back great memories for us Saddlers this number.

Dave arrived, Josh departed after one drink and we headed to The Red Lion. We were greeted by a drag queen behind the bar with a mic which was a bit unusual but we liked it. He then played Thriller commenting “I don’t know why I’m playing this as it’s Christmas” although I’d had a similar thought when Heart 80’s played Ghostbusters at work a day earlier.

The music was good in here, song of the night occurred “Red Light Spells Danger” although I got annoyed when the drag queen talked all over the second half of it so I necked my pint and declared it was time to move on.

The plan was to re-tick off what used to be Harleys now called Memoirs Bar but as soon as we got outside a bouncer rushed over saying that the place is now only for private parties. How he knew we weren’t on this guest list is beyond me. I instructed Dave to book this for his 49th birthday and we moved on. It’s good that this place is back open though. There was an application to turn it into a gym not so long ago. Us Walsall folk don’t want gyms. We want booze and word must have reached the applicant as it didn’t happen.

We also wanted to re-tick off the former Colliseum which was reopening this evening. It was very possible that we were the first customers as the place was empty. It is now bottles only so there are no pulls on the bar which makes it look a bit odd. Selected drinks were half price and our two bottles came to about £7.50. Dave queried if this was half price and the barman after a bit of a conflab with coleagues confirmerd that it was. £7.50 for 2 bottles is reasonable to me but if that is the half price total I don’t think I’ll be rushing back when it’s full price.

Anyway back in the day it was The Colliseum downstairs and at the weekend there was an upstairs strip joint called Club X. I used to go in The Colliseum after work as it was cheap drinks. One night a workmate (who has asked not to be named) came as some of his friends wanted to try Club X. I’d only been upstairs once but agreed to show the group where the place was as it’s slightly out of the towns main drinking area. Upon walking in Angie the barmaid said “alright Evo? Pint of Carling?” My colleague shot me a right look and exclaimed “you said you’d only been in once you lying get”. I tried to explain that I knew Angie from drinking downstairs in the week but he was having none of it.

Anyway in Club X you’d buy your drinks and take a seat. The ladies would come up and start polite conversation in the hope that you would agree to a dance which they’d take you into the back room for. One time I had my jacket nicked while in said back room. On my last visit a nice lady came up and made the usual small talk. She was most put out though when I eventually pointed out that it was her colleague (who had a white bra on) that I wanted a dance with.

So back to the present day. The Colliseum part is now called Valesha’s and the Club X part is Savannah’s. I popped to the loo and noticed a poster for upstairs and it had the slogan “where fantasies become reality”. I wondered which of the various ladies of Walsall that I’m keen on would be waiting for me, but opted not to go up there.

We opted to move on. Now Dave has this very odd trait that when drinks are finished and you do the mutual “move on?” chat, he’ll try and stall the departure. Usually by going to the loo for half an hour or deciding now is the time to start striking up conversations with folk. He’d done both of these in The Oak (I could have had another pint while he was in the bog), and now on the way out he decided it was time to go back up the bar to query the prices again. This was answered quickly and clearly didn’t waste enough time as he then started chatting to everyone on the way out. I was still thirsty, hopeful of being home by midnight, and never really up for talking to people so I left him to it and started the walk to Flans.

He caught up with me on the market and we were soon in Flans. Wayne was dj-ing and Dave is proper obsessed with him for some reason so he darted into the dj booth to bother him. There was no room in the booth for me which bought a bit of a Mary and Joseph feel to the proceedings so I sat on a stool in front of a radiator and was quite happy. I started to make some notes for this blog, and then Dave leant out of the booth and said “put your phone away, they are all looking at you”. I glanced up. There was a small group of men and women dancing around in front of me but nobody was looking. I asked who was looking and why but neither of these questions gleaned an answer. I finished my notes and glanced up. Still nobody was looking. So I opened Wikipedia and started to read about the development and subsequent construction of the Elizabeth Line. I got a third of the way through and got bored. Still nobody was looking.

It had been a good night but it was home time. I finished my drink and departed. After 32 years Walsall FC now hold the deeds to Bescot Stadium. Fantasies become reality.

I’m in a group called Friends Of Highgate Brewery. We like to jump on a coach and visit other breweries. Normally we take the Dave Grohl approach to these visits “done, done and I’m onto the next one” but with Hydes it was different. They really liked us. At the end of our first visit they said “please come again next year”. So we did. And we’ve been every year since. Yesterdsay was our 25th visit.

Our first few visits were to the Victorian “Queens Brewery” in Moss Side. My favourite memory of this site was after a few hours drinking we all piled back onto the coach, said vehicle roared into life and headed to the gateway just as the first float from the Moss Side Carnival passed. The bossman of Hydes Paul Jeffries beckoned us back off the coach saying “this may take a while to pass. Come back in and I’ll reopen the bar”. We then had a very pleasant 45 minutes with beers watching the procession.

In 2012 Hydes moved from Moss Side to their present site The Beer Studio, Media City in Salford and that is where we headed to yesterday.

The plan was to get up early and head to Wetherspoons for breakfast, especially as they now have eggs back on the menu, but after a week of going into work an hour early every day I was knackered and lay in bed instead. I eventually got up in time just to head to McDonalds albeit cutting it a bit fine.

Yet again a lady approached the counter when my number was called out. Shortly after she got her order which was just a hot drink. No wonder she was so keen on mine, which also consisted of a drink but with the additional nutritional goodness of a hash brown and double sausage and egg McMuffin.

I made the coach on time but was the last to arrive. Standard. As I made my way up the coach the top lad Ernie Harris told me off for being late and said I’d get detention and lines. I politely pointed out that I arrived bang on 9.30, but as I sat down I noticed that the digital clock at the front said 10.15. Going by that I was horrendously late. I will write out “I must not go to McDonalds when I have a coach to catch” 1000 times as soon as I get the time. So never then.

We hit the M6 and soon enough were pulling into Sandbach Services. Whilst we were heading to Salford, 100’s of my fellow Walsall FC fans were on the same road going to our match at Tranmere. I bumped into some mates in the toilets. Stewart, Sam, Dan and Kev Paddock. Me and Kev had a quick chat and a hug. I’ve never had a hug in a service station toilet before but what a top lad to have the first one with.

At Hydes we were all patiently waiting outside, then the automatic shutter door rose up majestically. It was like we were being let into Willy Wonka’s factory. Up in the bar there were 6 cask ales on, 2 keg and another 2 keg ones downstairs that we could just go and help our selves too. It was ace. As well as providing booze they also put on a cracking buffet. I’ve kind of lost my way a bit of late with sausage rolls but the ones here were thick and bloody tasty.

Hydes support the Manchester Children’s Hospice as their charity and as per usual Bob put a tin on the bar for us to put donations in. This raised £480 which was a nice total although when I stored this in notes I input it it as £4.80 which wouldn’t have been quite as good.

On the way back to Walsall we stopped at The Holy Inadequate pub in Stoke. A cracking pub and very much Good Beer Guide recognised. Unfortunately the toilets only have 3 urinals and 1 cubicle so when a coach full of people with several hours drinking under their belts descends then there was an initial decent queue to empty the bladders. I got to urinal no 1 (I always prefer number 2 but couldn’t wait for that to become free), mid flow and a bloke came barging out of the cubicle. Obviously eager to get to the bar after a wait in the queue but on passing he gave me a right kick to the left foot. I tell you what it doesn’t half break your concentration. Not quite in the style of Pulp Fiction but still. However despite this I still didn’t miss aim and I was soon up the bar myself ordering an Inadequate Citra. Despite the brewery name there was nothing inadequate about it.

Odd incident of the day was when a man came into the pub with a lit torch. After a couple of minutes he turned and I got a couple of full beams to the face. Sue on the opposite table thought I was going to be interrogated. “Ok, I confess. It was me who farted in the MD’s office at work yesterday”. He switched the beam to flashing for the last minute before turning it off.

Back in Walsall I popped into the Black Country Arms. There was a beer I’d not had before from Shiny Brewery called Rocky on pull no 1. I had that and it was ace but a beer called Rocky IMO should have been on pull no 4 as a nod to one of the best films of the 1980’s. I also had a cheese and black pudding cob which was devine.

Back home it was straight on with the Radio X Indie Night and this is where song of the day occurred. We Are Scientists “Nobody Move Nobody Get Hurt” was the first song on and what a delight it is. Within 20 minutes I was in bed with a mossiv mug of tea listening to Nick Abbott on LBC.

Superb day. Thanks to Bob for organising and to Hydes for the excellent hospitality.

I wasn’t really feeling Friday night. My back was hurting and I felt rubbish. One female colleague had commented on the day that I looked awful and another chipped in that I looked like death warmed up. But the first Friday of January is always what we call the quiz team night out. We’ve not been a quiz team since 2011, but we keep this tradition up and the 4 lads I was meeting up with easily go into the top 10 list of my longest standing friends, we don’t see each other often enough so despite feeling crap. I wasn’t missing this.

As is standard procedure upon leaving work the music went straight on and the first song was “Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine” by The Killers. Talk about needing an anthem to start the weekend and getting one. I stopped by McDonald’s for a toffee latte and upon leaving opted against putting said drink on the floor to use the nearby cashpoints and hurting my back picking it up again. I generally allow myself 3 mistakes a year. This was to be number 1 of 2023.

The bus to Aldridge arrived and I was soon there. Now for some cash. I wandered round to Lloyds. Now closed (for good, not the night). Arse. It was still open when I last attended rehearsal in November. I checked my wallet. I had a fiver. Phew. Enough for a pint. I’m not one for paying by card. I know where I stand with cash and I don’t want the bank manager and government knowing where I spend my hard earned.

I headed to The Turtles Head, Aldridge’s micro pub. There were a few people in along with 4 dogs. I’m rubbish with dogs so don’t ask what makes they were but I think one was a bulldog. They had Thornbridge “Brother Rabbit” on so that was motion carried straight away. They were having trouble with the till, furious repairs were in action and when complete the tray shot out as if it was on Open All Hours, causing one barmaid to jump out of her skin.

Anyway the dogs were all friendly, one of them to the extent that he’d wrapped his rather long lead around my legs, causing issues with walking away with my pint. It took some coaxing from his owner before he unravelled and I could escape. The music was standard 80’s fare, the highlight being Heartache Avenue by The Maisonettes. Whenever I hear this I always have to turn to the side to sing the backing vocals like the ladies in the video. Thankfully nobody spotted me doing this.

It was time to meet the others. I walked back to the main street. HSBC was across the road. Nah, I’ll go Natwest opposite the Wetherspoons. I did and the cashpoint was out of order. I miserably trudged all the way back to HSBC. The 1st cashpoint? Out of order. You have got to be kidding me. 2nd one thankfully was playing nicely.

I needed paracetamol so went to the Lifestyle Express. I noticed two bottles of Prime behind the counter. Fully aware that people have been fighting over these in Aldi then buying them and flogging them at hugely inflated prices on E-Bay I considered buying one. However I’m a lover (I wish) not a fighter and I’d already wasted enough drinking time hunting for cash so I didn’t really have the minutes for fistycuffs.

I made it to The Avion, the Aldridge Wetherspoons. Naturally I was last to arrive. Swill, Morty, Mark and Al were already there and had been joined by Laura and Pezza who were enjoying a child free night. Laura was straight over. “What do you want to drink?”. I’m crap at being put on the spot, panicked and said “Carling”, which she rushed off to purchase for me. It was soon Swill’s round. I again requested Carling. He sent Mark up the bar and shortly afterwards I went up to help carry them. It was then I saw “Danish Dynamite” by Stonehenge Brewery on the bar. I love Stonehenge and their brewery is an amazing place to visit. I’m no beer snob though and enjoyed my Carlings but made a note to always check the menu before ordering.

Malabar was the curry house of choice for the evening, one that I’ve not been in before. Everyone knows my views on unlicensed curry houses so there was some banter coming my way that this was one of those. I protested but Pezza checked online and confirmed that it sold booze but you could take your own too. I really don’t get that. Be like taking your own prostitute to a knocking shop. Upon walking in there was the glorious sight of bottles of Cobra behind the bar. Beautiful. It was only 8.30 but the place was very busy, which was a good sign.

This place has an upmarket feel to it. The starters are called entrees and my usual one of choice the delightful Nargis Kebab has the name Nargis Kofta. I don’t normally order baltis as I just like meat and sauce and can’t be arsed to ask for this dish to have it’s tomato and onions removed but I was feeling brave now (enough to go back to Lifestyle Express to fight, maybe over a bottle of gin though) so ordered this dish for a change.

The food arrived quickly. The Nargis was divine. Standard but the balti sans all the shit that normally comes in it was also great. I wolfed the lot down. The toilets are upstairs and outside the door was a table with 3 chairs along the wall on one side. Made it look like sometimes you have to pass an interview before you get to use the facilities.

Back at the table the waiter tried to swipe my glass which still had a good mouthful of Cobra left in it. We have a DPD driver come into work who always comments about how slow I move. I wish he’d been there to see how quickly I reacted to that.

So it was a great night with superb people. After one last pint back in Wetherspoons, Alan gave us all a lift home like the top bloke that he is.

Sorry the blog has been dormant for a while. I’ve been struggling with it but will try and get back to normal service soon. Cheers for reading and happy new year.

This week I have mostly spent with my am dram fam as Aldridge Musical Comedy Society (AMCS) have been performing Musicals that Rock at The Prince Of Wales theatre in Cannock.

I was on a 2 show break, having done everyone since joining the society in 2014, but having been blown away by the performance of Sister Act and then seeing the set list for Musicals That Rock, containing epic Green Day and Meatloaf numbers along with my favourite Celine Dion song the name of which currently escapes me, oh hang on It’s All Coming Back To Me Now, I decided to end the break early and return.

Six months hard work learning songs and dances leads to show week. Said week begins on Sunday with band call. This started at 10am. I was late. The main part of Walsall Bus Station was closed for repairs, although this appeared to be just one man scraping away at a stanchion. Not sure why this required the whole section to be closed but this stanchion was in a bad way. All the others are resplendent red while this one looked like it had been raised after spending a decade at the bottom of the North Sea, and I always gave it a wide berth whilst passing.

Anyway a bus didn’t turn up then the next one went on a crazy diversion to avoid Lichfield Road. Think walking from McDonalds on Park Street to the Black Country Arms but going past the Arboretum boathouse and you have the gist of it.

Band call went smoothly and finished just before 3pm and we then had a 3 hour gap until rehearsal on the evening. I needed margarine for my sandwiches for work the next day, it’s not all glamour this stage lark, so I dashed off to Mozza’s. I grabbed said marge and then noticed the cafe was still open, and until 4pm. Ideal. I perused the menu for a good 4 minutes and headed to the counter. “Sausage egg chips and beans please.” “Oh, we stop taking orders at 3.30”. I checked my phone. It was 3.32. What a load of old shit. I decamped to The Crown, which to be fair had been plan A. Some of the cast were in there and I caused a kerfuffle as they left their cosy booth to join me at a normal table.

The rehearsal on the night went well and I finally got the start position for Bohemian Rhapsody correct at the millionth time of asking, which was a big relief for me, the people I was meant to be walking on with, and more so the ones that I wasn’t.

Monday was our last rehearsal at our normal base in Aldridge. I got a bit excited and shouted out at the wrong point in a song, then I tripped over a box. We Will Rock You is the opening number to act 2 and during this our Musical Director beckoned at us to sing louder. I couldn’t comply at this juncture as my mouth was full of birthday cake.

On Tuesday I was a couple of minutes late leaving work but I knew this would make a difference with catching the train to Cannock. I had to run down Station Street. Thankfully it was dark as nobody wants to see that. I pulled into the station at the same time as the train. Big relief.

In Cannock I headed to Mozza’s for food. Again I would be disappoiinted. Appreciate that it was after 6 but there was only 2 sandwiches left, both containing brie. I’ve never had that and didn’t fancy it now, so I just grabbed lots of shit instead.

I got to The Prince Of Wales Theatre and headed round the back as we have to enter that way. I gave the lift at the top of the ramp a nervous glance. I always fear outside lifts. Maybe I spent too long playing Double Dragon as a kid but outside lifts always make me think the doors will open and people carrying whips and baseball bats will emerge. Thankfully this didn’t happen and I made it into the theatre without a beating.

First night in the theatre is always unsettling as you have to adjust to the change of dynamic. Beng correct side of the stage to walk on, in the wings at the right time etc as you can’t just walk across the floor as in the normal rehearsal room. Naturally I had to mess around a bit and when on top of the scaffolding for American Idiot, I instructed everyone on stage below to look at me, which they all did. It’s a good job I hate being the centre of attention or I’d have lapped that up.

The rehearsal went smoothly although I had one concern. Right at the end of the show everyone has to walk backwards, but where I was there was also a massive speaker on a tripod which I could see me tripping over, pulling the thing down with me and taking out half the cast in a move that would have had the directors of Final Destination pondering “why didn’t we think of that?”

Afterwards I went for my first piss in the theatre and declaring that this meant that show week was now definitely underway.

On Wednesday I was out of work an hour early which was nice. This time Mozza’s had goodies available so I grabbed hot chicken and a sandwich, yeah I’m a greedy sod but those dance moves require energy. Whilst there I used the facilities and they absolutely stunk. If only there was somewhere nearby that sold air freshener.

I got to the dressing room and was demolishing the chicken until I chocked on it. Will and Matthew were concerned and that was without me being extra dramatic as I usually am in these situations. I manged to dislodge the piece so there was no need for the Heimlich Manouevre which would have been interesting for anyone walking in during its performance.

This rehearsal went well with just two snags. During Radio Gaga I now had to get up on a box during the last part. Others had been doing this for months but this was a new instruction for me and Sarah and it went wrong. I couldn’t just step up onto it and had to kind of clamber aboard it and missed most of the moves in that section. During the break Sarah had me practice getting up on it, which was easier with using the scaffolding to lever myself up. God I hate being a short arse. The other issue was I’d had to run for my train at the end of the night before so missed a bit of resetting of the final song, so I was in the wrong place during this. Will had to drag me into position and I trod on our fabulous choreographer Sarah’s foot during this. Sorry Sarah.

Actually there was a 3rd snag. I totally messed up the instructions for American Idiot and Wake Me Up When September Ends. We were up on the scaffolding for these and I thought I was meant to just lean against the barrier looking cool and angsty for the first one then totally rock out for the second one. Which I did. Except I was on my own for the second one and I felt a bit of a nob. Turned out it was rock out during the first one and disappear for the second. Oh well, at least I made the second song all about me and I got mentions during the end of night debrief so all worth it. Plus the big speaker and tripod had been moved so I was now confident of not injuring other cast members. Other than foot treading.

Thursdays snags were standing on Gaynor’s foot due to being in the wrong place and trying to put it right. Sorry Gaynor. But the biggies was still being in the dressing room, fannying around on Facebook when American Idiot started. Becky who was passing through was like “er Mikee, it’s American Idiot”. I had to run out the dressing room, down the stairs, past dancers, onto the scaffolding past fellow performers and across the top to my spot. Talk about an English Idiot during American Idiot.

Friday was opening night of Musicals That Rock. The show was the idea of directors Ashley and Gaynor and they picked all the songs. Delayed by Covid it was great to finally bring it to life.

I was off work on the Friday and as per normal I was a bit peckish. I headed to McDonalds. A quick glance at the boards revealed no special offers. The Black Friday bollocks clearly wasn’t happening in this franchise. I ordered my food and patiently awaited my number (34) to be called out. Which it soon was. And a lady marched up to the counter and grabbed the bag. I approached and gave her a quizzical look. Her friend said “isn’t your number 38?” and the bag was put down on the counter (after she’d inspected the contents).

I got my food, ran for the train and upon sitting down on it I discovered an extra portion of fries in there. Black Friday you are forgiven.

The Friday night performance went well. One small error, I stayed in the middle as opposed to moving to the right during I’d Do Any Thing For Love but the audience wouldn’t have known that and the Saturday performance I got bang on. At the end I doubled back onto stage and gave the audience an extra bow. I like to be last off stage.

It’s always sad when a show ends. The week is long and tiring but we get each other through it. There is always lurgy going around but the cast are great and we get on well but the live shows are over so quickly but it’s so worth it.

I’m not from a theatre background so most shows I don’t know any of the songs beforehand and they take some learning but discovering new ones to sing is always good. The final number of act 1 was a medley of songs from a show called Come From Away which I’d never heard of and the first time we did this in rehearsal I thought “what is this load of bollocks?” but by show week I absolutely loved it and had the biggest smile on my face while performing it.

Anyway it was a tough show to bring to life but we did it and I hope we did Ashley, Gaynor and Musical Director Mark and Choreographer Sarah proud. We nailed the show and all the songs were performed well and the audiences loved them which is good. Tough as it was I bloody loved it though. Thanks to everyone involved. I don’t know when I’ll be on stage again but I have memories and show gifts to look back on in the meantime. To my AMCS buddies I love you all, the laughs and support you provide are invaluable.

Thanks to Tony, Keith and Alan for lifts home this week. With a train strike on the Saturday I was panicking about having to get a taxi back from Cannock. I mean I’d do anything for AMCS, but I won’t do that (if possible).

Last Saturday started out beautifully lazily. I’d worked the previous 2 Saturday mornings so this one was all about being in bed with a mug of tea listening to Andrew Castle on LBC.

I started to get peckish but this didn’t bother me. During the week there had been light hearted mentions of my delightful colleague Shelley coming to my house on this morning, letting herself in and bringing me a sausage and egg McMuffin in bed. By half nine though there was no sign of her so I deduced she was sleeping off the effects of going to a Madness tribute band the night before.

I needed food though as Craig was coming round on the afternoon for a light drinking session so I headed to Brewers Fayre. My usual table was occupied and the place was full of kids but they were all sedate and not running around so that was good.

I found an alternate table and waited for a couple of people to depart from the cereal bar. Mainly because I didn’t want anyone to witness my usual trick of combining Rice Crispies and Cocoa Pops. I appreciate that I have probably gone down in all of your estimations with this disclosure but I care not.

Anyway, spoons do not come as standard on Brewers Fayre breakfast tables. I couldn’t remember where I got one from last time and a quick hunt around didn’t reveal any. Undeterred I went for a latte, and there were no spoons there either. So no sugar in drink. No stirring of it either. I wondered if they have to cover all bases in case the character from the Big Train sketch with the spoons phobia comes in.

I eventually acquired a spoon and breakfast was good. I headed home, Craig arrived, let himself in but didn’t bring a sausage and egg McMuffin to present to me in bed. Boooo.

We set off as bowling was on the agenda. As we hit the top of Park Street I noticed that Pure Gym had closed down. I explained to Craig how we’d welcome this as Walsall is the fat capital of the country and we don’t want gyms. We want places to eat. This point was reinforced nicely as we got to the Crown Wharf Retail Park and noticed that a unit that has been empty for a while is now being turned into a Burger King.

The bowling alley was busy. Seriously busy. We were told it would be 10 o’clock before we could have a bowl, and this place has 20 lanes. It was currently approaching 4.30. We declined this. I’m glad the place is proving popular though. I decided to use the facilities whilst there. As I passed the cubicle I noticed a Budweiser bottle on the floor next to the loo. Full respect to that bloke, refusing to waste drinking time whilst having a dump. There was also a pink balloon in there, the back story of how that got there still intrigues me.

We had a go on the epic Space Invaders machine to make the visit worthwhile and then departed. We headed to Brewers Fayre. It felt a bit odd visiting a place twice in one day, and the same staff were on but I’d changed outfits and they didn’t clock me so all good. I could have done with one more latte from my free refills on the morning but opted for a Strongbow Dark Fruit instead.

The quiz machine was not working so we grabbed a seat and watched scores coming in. Walsall were drawing 0-0 at Carlisle. On the way down Craig had got some stats on his phone. Apparently we’d had 20 attacks, 2 of which were dangerous. Typical Walsall FC that, playing a beatable team but fannying around with 18 undangerous attacks.

From there we went to The Oak Inn. The music in here was REM, The Killers, The Cure, The Clash and others of this ilk. I needed this. The day before at 3pm a work colleague had changed the radio station so that last 3 hours of the day was just thud thud scratchy scratchy music. It felt like God was saying “yeah, yesterday was just a test. You passed, this music is your reward”. Cheers God. I won’t get into heaven because I’m a twat, so I’ll take any rewards from him while I’m still here.

I wanted Quavers so asked for a packet, Adam the landlord produced a full box of them and asked if I wanted that. I can eat crisps like sweets but didn’t fancy carrying a box round all night or having to sneak it past the bouncers at The Registry.

From there we visited The Registry, purely because I needed a pint of Inch’s.

In Katz it was retro gaming as per normal. We played something called Back Street Soccer. Craig battered me in the first game. My keeper made save after save after save. It was like my outfield players had joined the Winter Of Discontent and gone on strike. I couldn’t even muster an undangerous attack. Then as injury time started my keeper launched the ball long, straight to my striker who blasted home. Proper route one. John Beck would have been very impressed. With that totally undeserved victory in the bag the pressure was off for the second game which I won 3-1.

We switched to Ms Pac-Man and my Ms was seriously hungry, gobbling up ghosts like they were a bowl of Cocoa Pops and Rice Crispies and ran up two hefty scores.

From there we headed to what was Blue Ginger on Bridge Street, now called Gurkha Bhojan. There were a few people in so Craig queried how long we would have to wait, thinking if it was going to be an hour we could just grab a take away from elsewhere. I wouldn’t have minded waiting an hour had I got that box of Quavers to keep me ticking over but the waiter reassured us that we wouldn’t have to wait long and so it proved. The place is now licensed which wasn’t the case last time Craig was here so we didn’t go that night. The food was good. It’s dearer than Blue Ginger was but still worth a visit.

From here we headed back to mine. It was a great day to be fair. Anyway, thanks for reading. Sorry the blog has been quiet of late. I would write more but I have a closed gym to walk past on my way to Burger King.

Me and Dave know a top lad called Dean. Dean’s sister is the lead singer in a band. The band were playing a gig at The Wheatsheaf, the closest pub to my house but one that I don’t visit often enough as none of my friends live near it. So this gig had to be done.

Dave came to mine for a bit and we left the house and stepped into the rain. Oh the rain. It was like God had thought “here you are everyone, have some rain. And while we’re at it, have some more rain on top”.

It took about 10 minutes to get to the pub although a good 2 of these were spent waiting for a car to decide if it wanted to turn into the road we were trying to cross. I shouted “today please George”, he got the message and turned. I’m usually quite patient but not when it is the back of my neck rather than my throat that’s getting wet.

We made the pub and there was a decent turn out which was good to see. Dave found out that his coat wasn’t as waterproof as he thought it was. If they had been holding a wet t-shirt contest in there he would have been straight onto the final ballot without the need of support from 100 Tory MP’s. My beanie hat was 4 times heavier than when I put it on. I should have weighed myself before and after removing it and taken pictures of the scales. Lavish me with Slimmer Of The Week awards.

The band are called Vibrant Ducks, they impressed at a recent open mic night in the pub and were booked to play a full gig off the back of that. They were playing Red Hot Chili Peppers as we arrived, this gave way to a marvellous rendition of The Cure’s Boys Don’t Cry which was followed up by a bit of 2 Door Cinema Club (I think). The male guitarist instructed folks to go up the bar, buy drinks, get drunk then come up the front to dance. I can cope with these kind of instructions.

The Wheatsheaf is a real ale pub and I alternated between the Wye Valley H P A and the AJ’s Ales S P A. It was a shame they didn’t have Fuller’s E S B on as then I could have had a game of Countdown with my beers.

The music continued and it was great to hear female vocals performing songs like Ed Sheeran’s Castle On The Hill, and Sam Fender’s Hypersonic Missiles. Even a dog turned up in time for the latter.

The band took a break and I noticed that the settee by the fire was vacant. Knackered following a busy week at work I lured Dave over to it. After a short while Dave said “the band are starting up again”. “I’m staying here for a bit longer. I can still hear them so that’ll do” I replied. The band were clearly having none of this and launched into A Certain Romance by Artic Monkeys. Well there was no way I was sitting down for that. It’s such a great song. Is it my favourite of theirs? Hard to say. Being asked what your favourite Arctic Monkeys song is, is like being asked what’s your favourite bacon? Anyway the song went down an absolute storm and rightly got the loudest cheers of the night.

Other highlights were Naive by The Kooks and Chelsea Dagger by The Fratellis. The latter going down so well it was repeated as the final song after the audience were invited to nominate what they wanted to hear again. A few shouts of Sex On Fire were ignored.

This was a superb night, totally my kind of music all evening. It was like listening to Absolute Radio’s playlist with a female vocalist. If you want to see Vibrant Ducks they are next on stage at The Station in Cannock on October 30th in a gig raising money for Prostrate cancer.

Right, as I’ve still got A Certain Romance in my head I’m gonna make a cup of tea and then blast that out. And the good news is that my beanie hat is nearly dry.

At the end of September I had a text from my former SciChem work mate Madels saying that him and his wife Pammy wanted to come to Walsall soon for an Indian buffet again and they’d be bringing another former colleague Sean and his partner Sammy. Soon turned into about a week.

A week last Thursday was the day. I was let out of work early, because I’d done everything I had to not because I was going to eat I must point out. With a bit of time to kill I broke up the arduous pilgrimage from Queen Street to Katz by stopping at The Registry for a pint of Inch’s.

I reached Katz and was soon joined by the others. I haven’t seen any of them for a while so there was catching up to be done, but I think the main basis of conversation in there was me talking about me. A situation I am totally comfortable with.

We moved onto Golden Moments. It went unlicenced during the pandemic so I’ve not been in since but I heard recently that it had started serving booze again and I was delighted to find that this was true.

It was buffet night so up we went. Everyone else went straight in going for starters and mains but I played it light to start with and just had a boiled egg, 2 fish pakoras and two onion bhajis. Schoolboy error. Problem with this approach is my plate was very quickly empty whilst everybody else still had lots of grub to demolish, so I had to go up again. I was very wary that everyone in the restaurant could be thinking “he’s only just been up and he’s going again already the greedy git”. I expected my return journey (this time armed with both curries and rice) to be greeted with people tutting, pointing and pelting me with spare fish pakoras.

It was very pleasant in there, the food was amazing and we all had a great time. Then the desert menus came out. I never do puddings in curry houses for some reason so declined this time but Madels, and the ladies dived in. Sammy went for the Ferrero Rocher ice cream but couldn’t eat it all. There was naan bread left on the table. Sean wondered if ice crem would go with naan bread. He tried it and said it really did. He invited me to try it. I declined this offer. I don’t mind experimenting with food but this just seemed gross. The Express & Star could have messaged me at this point saying “we know you like putting your investigative journalist head on. We’re doing an article called ice cream on naan bread, does it work? Could you find out please? and it would have still been a no. And then I thought what the hell and dived in. And it was really good. Next time I have naan bread in the house, rather than stick bacon on it, or going proper old school and having it with curry, some of that lemon meringue ice cream I’ve got in the freezer is going on it.

We needed a team photo so decided to grab one on the way out. I nipped to the toilet, standard behaviour on my part and as I emerged back out Madels exclaimed “here he is the future Mayor of Walsall, keeping everyone waiting as usual”. The waiter who had been collared to take the photo said “future Mayor of Walsall? More like the Bruce Willis of Walsall”. Now I get called Matt Lucas and Phill Mitchell all the time but Bruce Willis is a new one on me. I’ll take it though. I must remember to buy a white vest, wrangle an invite to a Christmas Eve party in a tower block and see what occurs.

On the Saturday it was work on the morning, followed by an hour doing absolutely nothing on the settee (where You Tube auto played song of the day Wet Dream by Wet Leg) and then it was a power walk down to Bescot.

I passed the Fullbrook. Work is still ongoing on this but I am slowly starting to think the that the July of this year reopening which was first mooted isn’t going to happen, although it was good to see that the new roof is now complete. It must be the same people that took decades to rebuild Pleck Bridge that are working on it. Please hurry up and reopen Fullbrook. We need you.

I made it to the ground for abut 2.55. I glanced into the bar as I passed but pressed on which now means that 3 home games in a row I’ve been in my seat and alcohol free for kick off. My life is just an array of grim statistics but this is one that really needs nipping in the bud post haste. Anyway, I saw the opening goal, and some fans were seriously shocked that I saw it and they didn’t (hi Andy, Mark and Daz).

Wimbledon equalised and it all went a bit flat. Their fans started singing “is this a library?” which was a bit harsh. We aint had a lot to sing about of late. I missed our second goal due to Madri commitments but was in the stand for the 3rd one, and the fans were back in full voice for that.

It was joyous in the Bescot Bar afterwards. It had been a bit muted in there after the Northampton win which was our first in 12 games as I think everyone was just relived (and most people were tucking into £1 pies in there after that game) but this time everyone was loving it. Anyway if Bescot Stadium is a library then my God, I want to read every book in the place.

Swill and I got a taxi after a couple of pints. This time it was my turn to have trouble with the door. It said on the door “pull and slide”. Well I’m shit at pulling but sliding? I can Cha Cha Slide along with the best of them. Anyway I couldn’t get the door open and Swill did it with ease, avenging the time recently when he couldn’t do it and I took the piss by humming The Crystal Maze theme.

The taxi got to by St Matts Hall, and Swill couldn’t get the door open. “Push the button” the driver shouted repeatedly. I helped by singing the Sugababes classic of the same name. Eventually he got it open and we headed in to Wetherspoons. We’d certainly earned a pint after those taxi door exploits.

From there we headed to Katz where we met Matt Whelan and Goughy then ended up in The Walsall Arms to round off a great day.