Evo Boozy Scribbler

Last Saturday started out beautifully lazily. I’d worked the previous 2 Saturday mornings so this one was all about being in bed with a mug of tea listening to Andrew Castle on LBC.

I started to get peckish but this didn’t bother me. During the week there had been light hearted mentions of my delightful colleague Shelley coming to my house on this morning, letting herself in and bringing me a sausage and egg McMuffin in bed. By half nine though there was no sign of her so I deduced she was sleeping off the effects of going to a Madness tribute band the night before.

I needed food though as Craig was coming round on the afternoon for a light drinking session so I headed to Brewers Fayre. My usual table was occupied and the place was full of kids but they were all sedate and not running around so that was good.

I found an alternate table and waited for a couple of people to depart from the cereal bar. Mainly because I didn’t want anyone to witness my usual trick of combining Rice Crispies and Cocoa Pops. I appreciate that I have probably gone down in all of your estimations with this disclosure but I care not.

Anyway, spoons do not come as standard on Brewers Fayre breakfast tables. I couldn’t remember where I got one from last time and a quick hunt around didn’t reveal any. Undeterred I went for a latte, and there were no spoons there either. So no sugar in drink. No stirring of it either. I wondered if they have to cover all bases in case the character from the Big Train sketch with the spoons phobia comes in.

I eventually acquired a spoon and breakfast was good. I headed home, Craig arrived, let himself in but didn’t bring a sausage and egg McMuffin to present to me in bed. Boooo.

We set off as bowling was on the agenda. As we hit the top of Park Street I noticed that Pure Gym had closed down. I explained to Craig how we’d welcome this as Walsall is the fat capital of the country and we don’t want gyms. We want places to eat. This point was reinforced nicely as we got to the Crown Wharf Retail Park and noticed that a unit that has been empty for a while is now being turned into a Burger King.

The bowling alley was busy. Seriously busy. We were told it would be 10 o’clock before we could have a bowl, and this place has 20 lanes. It was currently approaching 4.30. We declined this. I’m glad the place is proving popular though. I decided to use the facilities whilst there. As I passed the cubicle I noticed a Budweiser bottle on the floor next to the loo. Full respect to that bloke, refusing to waste drinking time whilst having a dump. There was also a pink balloon in there, the back story of how that got there still intrigues me.

We had a go on the epic Space Invaders machine to make the visit worthwhile and then departed. We headed to Brewers Fayre. It felt a bit odd visiting a place twice in one day, and the same staff were on but I’d changed outfits and they didn’t clock me so all good. I could have done with one more latte from my free refills on the morning but opted for a Strongbow Dark Fruit instead.

The quiz machine was not working so we grabbed a seat and watched scores coming in. Walsall were drawing 0-0 at Carlisle. On the way down Craig had got some stats on his phone. Apparently we’d had 20 attacks, 2 of which were dangerous. Typical Walsall FC that, playing a beatable team but fannying around with 18 undangerous attacks.

From there we went to The Oak Inn. The music in here was REM, The Killers, The Cure, The Clash and others of this ilk. I needed this. The day before at 3pm a work colleague had changed the radio station so that last 3 hours of the day was just thud thud scratchy scratchy music. It felt like God was saying “yeah, yesterday was just a test. You passed, this music is your reward”. Cheers God. I won’t get into heaven because I’m a twat, so I’ll take any rewards from him while I’m still here.

I wanted Quavers so asked for a packet, Adam the landlord produced a full box of them and asked if I wanted that. I can eat crisps like sweets but didn’t fancy carrying a box round all night or having to sneak it past the bouncers at The Registry.

From there we visited The Registry, purely because I needed a pint of Inch’s.

In Katz it was retro gaming as per normal. We played something called Back Street Soccer. Craig battered me in the first game. My keeper made save after save after save. It was like my outfield players had joined the Winter Of Discontent and gone on strike. I couldn’t even muster an undangerous attack. Then as injury time started my keeper launched the ball long, straight to my striker who blasted home. Proper route one. John Beck would have been very impressed. With that totally undeserved victory in the bag the pressure was off for the second game which I won 3-1.

We switched to Ms Pac-Man and my Ms was seriously hungry, gobbling up ghosts like they were a bowl of Cocoa Pops and Rice Crispies and ran up two hefty scores.

From there we headed to what was Blue Ginger on Bridge Street, now called Gurkha Bhojan. There were a few people in so Craig queried how long we would have to wait, thinking if it was going to be an hour we could just grab a take away from elsewhere. I wouldn’t have minded waiting an hour had I got that box of Quavers to keep me ticking over but the waiter reassured us that we wouldn’t have to wait long and so it proved. The place is now licensed which wasn’t the case last time Craig was here so we didn’t go that night. The food was good. It’s dearer than Blue Ginger was but still worth a visit.

From here we headed back to mine. It was a great day to be fair. Anyway, thanks for reading. Sorry the blog has been quiet of late. I would write more but I have a closed gym to walk past on my way to Burger King.

Me and Dave know a top lad called Dean. Dean’s sister is the lead singer in a band. The band were playing a gig at The Wheatsheaf, the closest pub to my house but one that I don’t visit often enough as none of my friends live near it. So this gig had to be done.

Dave came to mine for a bit and we left the house and stepped into the rain. Oh the rain. It was like God had thought “here you are everyone, have some rain. And while we’re at it, have some more rain on top”.

It took about 10 minutes to get to the pub although a good 2 of these were spent waiting for a car to decide if it wanted to turn into the road we were trying to cross. I shouted “today please George”, he got the message and turned. I’m usually quite patient but not when it is the back of my neck rather than my throat that’s getting wet.

We made the pub and there was a decent turn out which was good to see. Dave found out that his coat wasn’t as waterproof as he thought it was. If they had been holding a wet t-shirt contest in there he would have been straight onto the final ballot without the need of support from 100 Tory MP’s. My beanie hat was 4 times heavier than when I put it on. I should have weighed myself before and after removing it and taken pictures of the scales. Lavish me with Slimmer Of The Week awards.

The band are called Vibrant Ducks, they impressed at a recent open mic night in the pub and were booked to play a full gig off the back of that. They were playing Red Hot Chili Peppers as we arrived, this gave way to a marvellous rendition of The Cure’s Boys Don’t Cry which was followed up by a bit of 2 Door Cinema Club (I think). The male guitarist instructed folks to go up the bar, buy drinks, get drunk then come up the front to dance. I can cope with these kind of instructions.

The Wheatsheaf is a real ale pub and I alternated between the Wye Valley H P A and the AJ’s Ales S P A. It was a shame they didn’t have Fuller’s E S B on as then I could have had a game of Countdown with my beers.

The music continued and it was great to hear female vocals performing songs like Ed Sheeran’s Castle On The Hill, and Sam Fender’s Hypersonic Missiles. Even a dog turned up in time for the latter.

The band took a break and I noticed that the settee by the fire was vacant. Knackered following a busy week at work I lured Dave over to it. After a short while Dave said “the band are starting up again”. “I’m staying here for a bit longer. I can still hear them so that’ll do” I replied. The band were clearly having none of this and launched into A Certain Romance by Artic Monkeys. Well there was no way I was sitting down for that. It’s such a great song. Is it my favourite of theirs? Hard to say. Being asked what your favourite Arctic Monkeys song is, is like being asked what’s your favourite bacon? Anyway the song went down an absolute storm and rightly got the loudest cheers of the night.

Other highlights were Naive by The Kooks and Chelsea Dagger by The Fratellis. The latter going down so well it was repeated as the final song after the audience were invited to nominate what they wanted to hear again. A few shouts of Sex On Fire were ignored.

This was a superb night, totally my kind of music all evening. It was like listening to Absolute Radio’s playlist with a female vocalist. If you want to see Vibrant Ducks they are next on stage at The Station in Cannock on October 30th in a gig raising money for Prostrate cancer.

Right, as I’ve still got A Certain Romance in my head I’m gonna make a cup of tea and then blast that out. And the good news is that my beanie hat is nearly dry.

At the end of September I had a text from my former SciChem work mate Madels saying that him and his wife Pammy wanted to come to Walsall soon for an Indian buffet again and they’d be bringing another former colleague Sean and his partner Sammy. Soon turned into about a week.

A week last Thursday was the day. I was let out of work early, because I’d done everything I had to not because I was going to eat I must point out. With a bit of time to kill I broke up the arduous pilgrimage from Queen Street to Katz by stopping at The Registry for a pint of Inch’s.

I reached Katz and was soon joined by the others. I haven’t seen any of them for a while so there was catching up to be done, but I think the main basis of conversation in there was me talking about me. A situation I am totally comfortable with.

We moved onto Golden Moments. It went unlicenced during the pandemic so I’ve not been in since but I heard recently that it had started serving booze again and I was delighted to find that this was true.

It was buffet night so up we went. Everyone else went straight in going for starters and mains but I played it light to start with and just had a boiled egg, 2 fish pakoras and two onion bhajis. Schoolboy error. Problem with this approach is my plate was very quickly empty whilst everybody else still had lots of grub to demolish, so I had to go up again. I was very wary that everyone in the restaurant could be thinking “he’s only just been up and he’s going again already the greedy git”. I expected my return journey (this time armed with both curries and rice) to be greeted with people tutting, pointing and pelting me with spare fish pakoras.

It was very pleasant in there, the food was amazing and we all had a great time. Then the desert menus came out. I never do puddings in curry houses for some reason so declined this time but Madels, and the ladies dived in. Sammy went for the Ferrero Rocher ice cream but couldn’t eat it all. There was naan bread left on the table. Sean wondered if ice crem would go with naan bread. He tried it and said it really did. He invited me to try it. I declined this offer. I don’t mind experimenting with food but this just seemed gross. The Express & Star could have messaged me at this point saying “we know you like putting your investigative journalist head on. We’re doing an article called ice cream on naan bread, does it work? Could you find out please? and it would have still been a no. And then I thought what the hell and dived in. And it was really good. Next time I have naan bread in the house, rather than stick bacon on it, or going proper old school and having it with curry, some of that lemon meringue ice cream I’ve got in the freezer is going on it.

We needed a team photo so decided to grab one on the way out. I nipped to the toilet, standard behaviour on my part and as I emerged back out Madels exclaimed “here he is the future Mayor of Walsall, keeping everyone waiting as usual”. The waiter who had been collared to take the photo said “future Mayor of Walsall? More like the Bruce Willis of Walsall”. Now I get called Matt Lucas and Phill Mitchell all the time but Bruce Willis is a new one on me. I’ll take it though. I must remember to buy a white vest, wrangle an invite to a Christmas Eve party in a tower block and see what occurs.

On the Saturday it was work on the morning, followed by an hour doing absolutely nothing on the settee (where You Tube auto played song of the day Wet Dream by Wet Leg) and then it was a power walk down to Bescot.

I passed the Fullbrook. Work is still ongoing on this but I am slowly starting to think the that the July of this year reopening which was first mooted isn’t going to happen, although it was good to see that the new roof is now complete. It must be the same people that took decades to rebuild Pleck Bridge that are working on it. Please hurry up and reopen Fullbrook. We need you.

I made it to the ground for abut 2.55. I glanced into the bar as I passed but pressed on which now means that 3 home games in a row I’ve been in my seat and alcohol free for kick off. My life is just an array of grim statistics but this is one that really needs nipping in the bud post haste. Anyway, I saw the opening goal, and some fans were seriously shocked that I saw it and they didn’t (hi Andy, Mark and Daz).

Wimbledon equalised and it all went a bit flat. Their fans started singing “is this a library?” which was a bit harsh. We aint had a lot to sing about of late. I missed our second goal due to Madri commitments but was in the stand for the 3rd one, and the fans were back in full voice for that.

It was joyous in the Bescot Bar afterwards. It had been a bit muted in there after the Northampton win which was our first in 12 games as I think everyone was just relived (and most people were tucking into £1 pies in there after that game) but this time everyone was loving it. Anyway if Bescot Stadium is a library then my God, I want to read every book in the place.

Swill and I got a taxi after a couple of pints. This time it was my turn to have trouble with the door. It said on the door “pull and slide”. Well I’m shit at pulling but sliding? I can Cha Cha Slide along with the best of them. Anyway I couldn’t get the door open and Swill did it with ease, avenging the time recently when he couldn’t do it and I took the piss by humming The Crystal Maze theme.

The taxi got to by St Matts Hall, and Swill couldn’t get the door open. “Push the button” the driver shouted repeatedly. I helped by singing the Sugababes classic of the same name. Eventually he got it open and we headed in to Wetherspoons. We’d certainly earned a pint after those taxi door exploits.

From there we headed to Katz where we met Matt Whelan and Goughy then ended up in The Walsall Arms to round off a great day.

Friday was only my 3rd day of annual leave from my new job in 6 months, so it had to be a god one. I mean there is no such thing as bad time off work but this one needed to be epic. Craig headed up from Coventry and I announced that before we did the pubs we would be trying the new bowling alley that opened this week on the Crown Wharf retail park.

It was pissing down so we called a taxi. They sent a minibus which I thought was a bit excessive. maybe we’d need one for the return journey when we’d impressed all the ladies in the bowling alley with our skills but not now. The driver took a right at the bottom of my road instead of the left which is the usual way to town and promptly got us caught up in the traffic for the local primary school.

It was just over £6 per person for a game of bowls and I think it gets cheaper if you book more. We opted for one game, bought some booze and headed to the lane. I always thought I was decent at bowling but not this time. My first 6 balls all went into the gutter. I then had the humiliation of Craig putting the buffers up for my shots. He then got a strike. Yep, another strike to add to this Winter of discontent.

Craig wiped the floor with me on the bowling. For some reason all my shots veered to the left. To the left to the left. Bloody hell. I must be turning into Beyonce. At least now I can buy those sparkly gold hot pants that I’ve had my eye on.

We had a bit of a mooch around afterwards. The massive Space Invaders machine was ace, and we also had a go on a Pac-Man based basketball game. I didn’t quite get the Pac-Man relevance but it was great fun. Although one of my shots bounced out the court and hit Craig on the head causing me much hilarity. I didn’t need the buffers up for that bit of accuracy.

I’m a bit of a Monopoly geek so I had a go on a spinning wheel type of game. For my quid I got one spin, landed on Leicester Square and got 40 tokens. I wasn’t impressed. I handed the tokens to Craig and announced I was off for a piss and he could give the tokens to someone nice.

It’s a good set up in this place, there is a laser quest type thing there, karaoke pods (which I was all over until I saw it was £20) and escape rooms. I like the idea of the escape rooms but I’d need one with a toilet in it just in case I was incredibly crap at it and got trapped in there. I wonder if they could personalise the escape room to try and make it harder. I mean stick Patsy Kensit in there wearing just a white bra and pants and I’d make no effort to escape.

We moved onto Brewers Fayre and cleaned up on the quiz machine before hitting The Oak Inn. By now I was getting the munchies so while Craig headed into The Red Lion to get the round in, I “popped” to McDonalds. Jesus, the whole world and their mom was in there. My order was no 18 and after a good few minutes of waiting they called out number 5.

Eventually I got my food and stood in the rain eating it. Craig however was having less fun. The music on entry into The Lion had been Basement Jaxx then Bizarre Inc. which he approved of Then on came a UB40 song. And another one. And another one. And another one. Upon the 5th one coming one he came out and basically told me to hurry up, as if he was having to suffer this music then I should have too as well. I went in and we quickly drank and departed as the 7th UB40 song in a row started.

We met up with Dan Gilbert and Coxy and explained why we had had left The Lion only for Dan to exclaim that he loves UB40. Which made me laugh. We headed to The Wharf Bar. There was karaoke. I was urged to have a go and despite it being free as opposed to the £20 in the bowling alley I wasn’t feeling it. There wasn’t many people in and I like a good sized baying audience when I perform. Song of the night Seven Nation Army came on in here and was followed by the classic Gangsta’s Paradise. RIP Coolio.

We left, Coxy and Dan went into The Lion which was still playing UB40 whilst Craig and I hit The Registry. Dan and Coxy arrived in there not long after so must have not really felt the music after all. Finally we went to Katz where we played Pleasure Goal on the retro arcade machine. I came from 2 down to win a game 5-4 then Craig turned into prime 1970’s Brazil and got revenge wiyh some aplomb.

With Blue Ginger now gone we grabbed kebabs and headed back to mine. The day was indeed epic and I can’t wait to go bowling again.

Last Saturday was roughly planned out. Do stuff in the house, go and watch Walsall Rugby Club then head to Cannock to work at the beer festival. Naturally stuff over ran so I didn’t make the rugby (Walsall beat Malvern 42-0 but knowing me I’d have missed 40 of the points) but following the cancellation of the train strikes I was on platform 1 bang on time and ready to head to Staffordshire.

Cannock Chase CAMRA were holding their beer festival at The Prince Of Wales Theatre although it should surely be renamed King Charles III centre in light of recent events.

My first jobs at the festival was to collect empty glasses and also rubbish on tables. Perfect. There were lots of people there that I know so this was an ideal way to work the room and get some hellos in. The glasses were gone in one sweep and as I started the round with the bin bag, the band came on. So I headed to the front tables. Everyone would be looking at the band during the opening numbers so I thought it would be rude not to let them see me as well.

Whilst on litter patrol I collected a half can of foreign beer that had been abandoned. I headed to the toilets to dispose of the liquid down a sink, and I was confronted whist doing so. “What you doing man? Can’t you take your beer?” “Excuse me?” “Why are you pouring your beer away? Can’t you drink?” I explained that it wasn’t mine and that I was collecting rubbish, even showing him the bin bag to try and back up my story but he wasn’t having it. Odd moment but it made me smile.

It was a nice hour ambling around the tables. People I don’t know recognised me from working at Walsall Beer Festival and some good conversations came from that. I was asked if that event would be returning and I said I really hoped it would but it not coming back already is one of the numerous reasons as to why I’m stepping down as Walsall Branch Chairman in a couple of weeks.

A short while later I was asked if I wanted to work the bar. Hell yeah. Confidence has never been a friend of mine but stick me behind the bar at a beer festival and I can talk to the whole world. Even women. Although it does help massively that they have to talk to me also.

A customer came up and asked “what’s the haziest thing you’ve got”? My memory was the first thing that popped up in my head but I don’t think he’d have wanted to drink that.

The band were class. There was a guy rocking a double bass which bought back memories of Leslie Nielsen in Airplane. The highlights were I Saw Her Standing There and Twist & Shout. The latter being almost as good as the Ferris Bueller and Chaka Demus & Pliers versions.

It was nice to be able to watch the band on stage in between customers. I’ve performed on that stage many times so it was good to be in the audience for once. I’ll be back on that stage on November 25th & 26th for the AMCS show Musicals That Rock. Tickets still available https://boxoffice.wlct.org/event_description.aspx?eventid=1151&fbclid=IwAR0i3UdrQOtDoHFSR89umDMsfDDR3MkY7i9t0o63p3r3JIGICYUyF4mjaMI

As my time drew to a close a couple of lads came up the bar. “What do you want?” asked the one. His friend looked at him and replied “I just want a bag of crisps”. We all have that feeling every now and again.

I said my goodbyes and made my way down the stairs. As I did I burst into a rendition of the chorus to I Saw Her Standing There. Well I can’t visit that theatre without singing. The people following me down the stairs joined in which I really enjoyed.

It was a great event and very well done to Cannock Chase CAMRA and all of the volunteers who made it happen.

Back in Walsall I was ambling up Bridge Street and my favourite taxi driver saw me, did a u turn and pulled up alongside me offering me a lift home, which I declined. I was heading to the Walsall Arms for a night cap and I could manage that pilgrimage on foot.

In the pub, a singer was on and he rounded his set off with a selection of Oasis songs. I sat back and relaxed after a hectic and busy week. This was nice. The Importance Of Being Idle in the Walsall Arms.

On the Sunday it was a trip to Brownhills to present The Jiggers Whistle with the Walsall CAMRA Cider Pub Of The Year award. The wind was blowing and the carrier back containing the certificate nearly had an altercation with a couple of lampposts but it made it to town unscathed.

I’d been fannying around all morning and hadn’t eaten so I was up for a Geggs Steak Bake. Unfortunately, the queue was out of the door. I considered doing a Philip Schofield but opted not to. I don’t want any bad headlines before I become Mayor of Walsall. There will be plenty of time to accrue those once I’m in office.

I headed to the CO-OP instead for meal deal action. As is standard behaviour for me I chose carefully to ensure I got the most expensive item in each category thus getting £7.55 worth of goods for £4. Job done.

The Jiggers Whistle is a great pub. They always have good ales on along with a fridge full of boxes of ciders. Colin and Teresa are always welcoming and the award was well deserved.

Myself and fellow Walsall CAMRA member Dennis had a very pleasant hour and half but it was soon time for the bus. I wanted a souvenir of the visit so opted for a bottle of 1985. I love 1985. It’s the year of Back To The Future, a great song by Bowling For Soup and it was also the year that I had the deep joy of leaving my bastard hole of a primary school. This happiness was cut short 6 weeks later when I had to start going to my bastard hole of a secondary school. 1985 is also a great lager from of my favourite breweries Wye Valley so this was a perfect take away bottle.

The no 10 bus is shit. My friends Chris, Mary and Matt always have issues with it and now it was my turn. It didn’t show and Dennis (who got to stay in the pub for an additional 10 minutes waiting for his bus) got something on his phone which showed that the next one would be 10 minutes later than scheduled. He suggested I got on his, the 937A to Aldridge.

I’ve never got on the 937(with or without the A) and I appreciate that I’m sad and got absolutely no life but getting on a bus route for the first time always excites me. What would I do in Aldridge? Turtles Head for a pint? Chicken wings in The Avion? Suddenly it hit me. The Crown. Oh yes. A massive carvery. I sat back and dreamt of roast potatoes.

I was soon in Aldridge and marched into The Crown. A quick glance at the menu and carveries are no more in there. Rubbish. One thing caught my eye but my heart was set on a carvery. I waited until the bar staff were distracted and snook out.

I went to Brewers Fayre in Walsall and had their carvery. It was epic and so nice to eat a good meal. I don’t eat properly nowadays, mainly just snacking so a big dinner went down a storm. I then won £5 on the Pointless quiz game.

My mate Kimbo was in town so I joined him for a pint in St Matts Hall then I headed to the Walsall Arms which was very busy. At 8 o’clock the pub went from loud Mark Morrison “Return Of The Mack” to total quietness for the minutes silence for the passing of The Queen. I’ve done minutes silences in football grounds loads of times but never in a pub before. It was perfectly observed and the music resumed at the end. I remained silent until a couple of songs later when “The Love I Lost” West End Featuring Sybil came on, which I gave portions to.

I had a couple more beers and headed home where I had a pack of Crispy Bacon What Crunchies whilst hoping the lad from the beer festival managed to get some crisps of his own.

On October 1st last year I went to Hednesford for a blog “research” night with Dean Neville. It was a good evening but on the way home I lost my phone, and with it all my notes and photographs. So it was decided that we would have to do it again. It’s taken nearly a year but it’s finally happened.

I first met Dean around 20 years ago when he joined Steve Stuart and I in travelling up to Manchester to represent Walsall FC on the ITV Sport Channel quiz show Do I Not Know That? Dean was epic on that, knowing the Italian team known as The Flying Donkeys was Chievo where as I got Burnley and Barnsley mixed up. And we lost that show by one point to eventual series champions Leicester City by 1 point. I still blame myself. If VAR was around in those days I’d have claimed that they misunderstood my accent and had them look into it.

Deano is a top lad and along with our mutual love for Walsall FC we are also bonded by a fondness for the songs Story Of the Blues (Mighty Wah), Another Nail In My Heat (Squeeze) and Red Light Spells Danger (Billy Ocean) so it’s always good to see him. He is also known for shouting “yooooou bastard referee” at Walsall games.

It was a week last Friday, the day after our beloved Queen died. I was still in a sombre mood but there was beer to be drunk and I’d been looking forward to it all day. I arrived early in the hope of getting a pint in The Bridge. I’d heard that planning permission had been granted to turn it into a coffee house so I was praying it was still open.

En route I got the odd incident of the day safely under my belt. A lad passed and as he did he enquired “mate, is your head cold?”. I confirmed that it wasn’t and also that it isn’t Winter. He said that his was and he carried on with his journey. And so did I.

As I approached the island the pub sits on I noticed a big metal storage unit outside and it didn’t appear to have any lights on. Deducing that it had already closed I turned my warm head and walked back.

Dean arrived and we set off to the first venue. The Queen was the first topic of discussion. Whilst I’m a massive Royalist it’s fair to say that Dean certainly isn’t but he was respectful so all was good. I then moved onto my aims for the night and he mentioned that he thought The Hen House had closed down. This panicked me. My 5 pub crawl was now going to be 3 and my picture with the seafood seller man which happened last time would not be repeated. I crossed everything and hoped he’d mis-heard.

First port of call was Kraftt, a modern feeling bar in a former shop unit. The Song Of the Night Award was clearly in no mood to hang around with the epic Baby Fratelli by The Fratellis coming on as we approached the bar and no other tune that night came close to topping this. There was no ale on less than 5% with a epic sounding New Invention Brewery stout at 5.6% available. Now I needed a drink after the previous day’s news but it was a bit early for that. Last pint of the night and I’d have been all over it. We both opted for a 4% rhubarb cider.

Along with ales, and gins this place also does a selection of cakes. On the last visit I had a lemon meringue one but I’m probably still trying to burn off the calories from that one so I gave it a miss this time.

It was a pleasant pint. I like this place and the standout feature is a clock so big it should have a person sat either side of it trying to form words from a selection of 9 vowels and consonants. The clock however loses points because the 4 is represented as IIII and not IV which always makes me cross.

As we walked to the next place I spotted a bar in another unit. It has two signs Indian Smokehouse and Peri Peri Pizza. Dean said it was a food place but you could also sit in there and drink and there is usually some Walsall fans in. I was sold and in we headed.

It was very lively in there. A French football match was on the big screens which people were getting into and there were 2 Walsall fans I know in there. Hi Dan and Sam.

After a very enjoyable pint it was time to see if The Hen House was open. Well it was but none of the exterior lights were on. It was like they knew we were coming and wanted to throw us off the scent. The seafood man turned up while I was taking the obligatory photo. Suddenly everything was falling into place.

Dean got the beers in and I got my photo with the seafood man. To thank him I purchased a packet of prawns (with added vinegar naturally). As I stood there eating them I got a smile off a lass. So that’s the secret then? Next time I go clubbing I’m taking prawns with me, and smuggling in a bottle of Sarson’s. On the way out we noticed the outside was now lit up. Bit odd.

Heddin’s Ford for me is the stand out pub of Hednesford. Located in a former bank and run by Kez who used to work at The Fountain in Walsall. The welcome was friendly as is standard and the beer was in top form so we stayed for two. This place is nicely decked out with nods to Highgate Brewery earning bonus points. I learned in here that The Bridge Inn is still open and the storage unit outside has been there for 18 months. Oh well.

The toilet here is class. A small room with a proper toilet and a urinal with nothing to separate them. Ideal if you have some gossip you can only tell one friend. Lock the door, decide who is having a shit and who is having a piss then spill the beans. Everybody’s happy.

During the second pint we were joined by Jake Kimberley. Kimo had been to the gym so had more than earned a beer. I am thinking about joining a gym but it will have to be when money and time allows. So not imminent in either case.

It’s always a wrench to leave the Heddin’s Ford but with time moving on it was Wetherspoons time. Set in a very grand looking building, and right by the train station Hedgeford Lodge is perfect for that last cheap pint and piss before the train home.

With Kimbo now with us we needed a new team photo. I scanned for who was going to take it and opted for a bloke just heading to the bar but he looked round and gave me evils so I opted to try a selfie and it worked.

As is the norm with Wetherspoons the toilets are upstairs but there are a couple of small rooms to negotiate too, and I always get lost and this was no exception. I didn’t take a wrong turn for once but did have to look round whilst keeping walking. I didn’t want to stop and look like a tourist in Leicester Square.

Train time arrived so we bid farewell to Kimbo and headed to the platform. With work the following morning I decided to be good and head home upon arriving back in Walsall. And I’m delighted to say that my phone made it back this time.

On Saturday it was a Friends Of Highgate Brewery coach trip to Thornbridge Brewery. The stomach needed lining and I’m pleased to say that after last week’s blog announcement about going off full English breakfasts, I’m now back on them. I headed to the Brewers Fayre for the all you could eat jobbie. I wasn’t overly hungry but with the clock ticking I liked the idea of everything I wanted being already cooked and I could just grab what I fancied. I only went up once but the bacon was bang on and really warranted a second sampling but I was good.

The coffee machine threw a mard when I tried to obtain a latte and suddenly threw out plumes of steam, making me think I was on Stars In Their Eyes, I nearly belted out a bit of Shirley Bassey but a member of staff came rushing over. the machine was out of milk so he put this right and I soon had my coffee.

Before departing I popped to the loo, pushed the cubicle door open and the sight that greeted me immediately reminded me of that scene in The Young Ones when they are on the train to University Challenge and Vyvyan announces “I’m off to put loads of paper down the toilet”. Obviously I took a picture but if I post it here it will be the cover picture for the blog and nobody wants that.

I made my way to the coach, and do you remember from the Coventry night blog, that I bailed on the last FOHB trip, to Milton Keynes when the coach was barely metres into its journey due to the lack of toilet? Lots of booze + weak bladder x no toilet on coach is a sum that I never want to work out but this time there was loo facilities on board. I was informed of this before I had even got all the way up the steps and I got lots of banter as I made my way along the coach which I loved.

I thought that after Thornbridge we were having a pub crawl of Bakewell but I quickly learned that it was in fact Buxton we were visiting. I’d done my pub research for Bakewell and bought along an additional “tart budget”. Fortunately Bob, one of the organisers had bought along maps and pub guides to Buxton so myself and coach buddy Martin Wall set about doing research.

The onboard raffle occurred, and I’m normally good on these and it proved again as I won 5th prize and opted for a set of Timothy Taylor posters rather than a book on trains. I don’t really have much room left in my house for wall decorations, some of the remaining space is earmarked for a poster about The KLF and a few more pictures of me but I’ll erect them somewhere.

We arrived at the brewery in good time. I’ve been to their first site at Thornbridge Hall a couple of times but this was my maiden voyage to the new place. The tap is massive. Think an aircraft hanger but with no planes and booze instead and you’re about right. It’s a really good set up there. Service was quick and friendly and there were a good range of ales available.

After a very pleasant 90 minutes (it’s not often a Walsall FC fan can say that) it was time to depart so I headed to the shop for a couple of souvenirs. I was taken by the socks but they were £10 a pair and my sock budget doesn’t stretch that far. I don’t mind spending good money on pants that nobody will ever see but I don’t splash out on socks that nobody will view. So I ploughed the sock and Bakewell Tart budget into a few bottles of ale.

I will go back to Thornbridge and hopefully stay longer but if you’ve not been I really recommend it. If you want someone to come along and hold your hand, just shout up.

We arrived at Buxton and I teamed up with Ade and Dan who were heading as far from the coach as the guides we had allowed and then working their way back. First pub was Old Sun Inn, this was dimly lit and I gave too much coinage for my pint which the barmaid happily refunded. The music was excellent in here with the REM classic “It’s The End Of the World As We Know it” playing as we found our table and it was followed up with Blondie, The Clash and The Jam. This is the good music pub of Buxton.

Cheshire Cheese was next. The guide said it was a Greene King pub but a range of Titanic beers greeted us, which was nice. I went for Steerage. The sign outside had 4 bullet points on it one of which was “Enthusiasm for proper pubs”. Although knowing me it could have said “Enthusiasm for shit pubs” and I’ve have still been clammering to get it in.

The barman in The Swan was a top lad and he liked me as I agreed that cash is king while Dan was struggling as his £4 pint was below the card payment minimum amount. He then found some notes and everyone was happy. They have a meat raffle in here and I still haven’t taken part in one. Someone in Walsall please get a meat raffle in your pub. You have guaranteed customer from me on draw day.

The Queens Head was the me pub of the day. A pinball machine and two quiz machines are in here. The two Pointless jackpots amounted to over £11 so I had a quick go on the one with the higher purse only to crash and burn due to my lack of Championship mascots from 2012 knowledge.

The Kings Head was very busy but I liked the feel of the place. It was like someone had been to several Marstons pubs for inspiration then mashed it up with input from The Hosghead in Wolverhampton.

The Old Club House had tables either half full or reserved so we had to stand but when I went exploring I found a side room which I assume was for diners that had just two people in it. I wanted to ask if we could sit in there but I was scared so I didn’t.

Last visit of the day was to The Old Courthouse. Upon arrival I needed a piss and a pint (I’d stuck too halves all the way round the crawl) but I saw a tent selling food. Not one pub we’d been in had sold cobs. Sorry toilet and bar but I need grub. A well received £3.50 tray of fries later and the other two missions were ready to be completed.

It was a superb day out. The coach back was interesting as it made its way down narrow twisty roads and passed desolate moors but we were soon back in Walsall.

Martin and I had a couple in Wetherspoons and I headed home via the Walsall Arms to break up the journey. The problem I had here is the little short cut that I use to get to said pub now has a chain across the car park. Not normally a problem but by now I wasn’t at my most sober and the carrier bag containing the Thornbridge bottles was close to splitting so I was having to hold it clutched to my chest, like how Rizzo in Grease holds her books whilst singing “There Are Worse Things I Could Do”. I had a couple of goes at negotiating the chain but I couldn’t get my leg over. I had to sit on the partially demolished wall next to it and ease myself over. It felt like I was on It’s A Knockout but without a leaking bucket of water to protect it was lovely booze instead. I expected someone to turn up and start throwing wet sponges.

Anyway I made it to the pub and had one last pint to round off a great day. The carrier back survived the final part of the journey and on Tuesday I went to Mozzas and bought a Bakewell Tart which I demolished when I got home.

At the risk of sounding like an absolute food heathen, I’ve kind of gone off the full English breakfast of late. However I woke up on Bank Holiday Monday craving one like I’d given them up for Lent and it was now Easter Saturday. A quick inventory of my food supplies revealed I had the ingredients for an egg sandwich with a side salad of baked beans. Oh and a mug of tea. I always have the ingredients for a mug of tea, and beans of course.

I was heading to Pelsall on the afternoon but couldn’t do this on just an egg sandwich so off to Saint Matthews Hall it was. My normal Wetherspoons breakfast of choice is the Eggs Benedict but again this wasn’t cutting the mustard this time so it was the large breakfast with the free refillable mug of tea. It costs just over £7 but with the current climate I’m guessing that most of this cost was the two small packs of Lurpack.

The highly sought after odd incident of the day didn’t take long to occur. A man walked up to my table, clutched the chair opposite me and asked “is anyone sitting here?” I said “no” and down he sat despite numerous other tables being vacant, and I was still eating. It’s not the first time that this has happened but at least this guy asked. I pondered as I ate. Do people see me and think that I look like I’d be good company, only to plonk themselves down and find out that I’m really not? Anyway I finished my meal, refilled my mug and sat down at the vacant table behind where I’d been sitting.

I’m no stranger to Pelsall. We used to go there all the time as kids because my parents best friends Mike and Mavis Thacker lived there, and I still remember them fondly whenever I go there nowadays. The no 8 bus was on time and off we set. The timetable had said the stop was adj The Fingerpost which I assumed was the pub not the actual sign but it turned right before the road the pub sits on and dropped me off in what could best be described as a small clearing in a long hedge. Still it was a nice day and I enjoyed my walk back.

Absolutely no issue with being served here as the barman asked what I wanted before I’d got near the bar. I quickly glanced at the options and then a Breakspear Gold was coming my way. As I made my way outside “Reach” by S Club 7 came on.

I love the outside section of this pub. I find a pint next to water just so relaxing and as nobody else was about it was a nice quiet time to myself and I was able to collect my thoughts after a busy couple of weeks. In the Ozzy Osbourne song “Dreamer” he sings “if only we call all just find serenity”. Well this is where I find it. I really should come more often. Especially as I now know where to get off the bus.

I headed back inside and opted for a Kingstone Press Wild Berries cider. The barmaid asked for £4 which I happily handed over but just as I was about to walk away she called me and said she’d made a mistake, forgotten it was happy hour and gave me 40p back which she really didn’t have to do so I was pleased with that. I sat on a nice settee and relaxed once more. Then another S Club song came on, this time “Don’t Stop Moving”. Got to love a pub that plays happy music. Clearly there aint no party like a Fingerpost party. I’d have stayed but there were other pubs to visit.

As I walked to the Old House At Home the sun came out and a rare good mood washed over me. So much so that I started singing “Reach”, quite loudly although I calmed it down as people approached.

The Old House At Home is a Marstons very foody pub and not really my cup of tea but it also serves booze so I’ll always pop in. The food though smelt amazing so I perused the menu. I find the menus in pubs a bit meh but this one had things on it that grabbed my attention but the thought of the cauliflower and red pepper curry had my ready to go and retch all over the car park.

I really wanted the Sicilia Lemon Muffin Cheesecake. I know that there are now shops that sell just desserts but I wasn’t sure about the etiquette of ordering just one in a pub. I’ll go back one day and order this along with a starter and main just to be sociable.

Next up was The Queens. This is the me pub of Pelsall. My local should I ever move to Pelsall. I’ve only ever sat in the front section but this time I had a bit of time to explorse and I found a superb outdoor section at the rear. It was ace. I sat there for a while then ventured inside to a previously undetected panelled room which I also utilised. I eventually moved back into the front part and was treated to some excellent 80’s music in the form of Belinda Carlise and Curiosity Killed The Cat. This was a great visit.

Last pub of the day was the railway. They had a beer festival on and live music which my mates H and Al were performing in with their band Hal. While they were setting up my mate Mark turned up. It was good to see him and we had a catch up. Despite being very close at Walsall games we don’t really get to talk as there are normally 3 or 4 people in between us plus the other problem of him spending the 90 minutes watching the game while I spend most of it in the bar.

Hal performed some great covers and the sizeable turn out enjoyed it. The only fly sorry wasp in the ointment being one of those appearing right in front of me. I’m not scared of wasps as most people think, I just don’t like them. It moved onto the lass next to me who couldn’t have given less of a shit about its presence. I was jealous.

With my alcohol levels rising and wary that it was back to work tomorrow I headed back to town for one last pint and a bit of food. It was off to Blue Ginger on Bridge Street. Earlier in the day the owner Mo had sent me a message saying it was his last day there. Well I had to go and say goodbye. He is always so welcoming and upon my first visit, after just two Facebook messages he recognised me as I walked in and addressed me by my name. Anyway we are used to a departure from Walsall just before the transfer window closes but I wasn’t expecting this. He is looking to open a new place in Shropshire and I wish him well. I had a Nargis Kebab and a kind of cheesy chicken tikka dish which were both ace as was the pint of lager.

Anyway it was a class day. Pelsall I shall be back, don’t eat all the cheesecake.

Yesterday, a lot of people I’m guessing woke up feeling fine, having got Walsall FC on their minds. I on the other hand work up an hour later than I wanted (10am), bursting for the loo and with the UK’s 1995 Eurovision Song Contest entry “Love City Groove” stuck in my head as Craig and myself had been discussing it in The Registry the night before, and I don’t know how it cropped up in conversation.

The plan had been to pop to town to renew my passport and then head to Brewers Fayre to demolish the all you can eat breakfast which I’ve not done for many years. I played the Motive by Then Jerico on You Tube whilst ironing my t-shirt to try and shift Love City Groove (it worked) but by the time I was ready to leave the house it was only time for a quick breakfast in Jack & Ada’s as I had to to be on a bus to Wednesfield as the Walsall and Wolverhampton branches of CAMRA were having a joint social round there.

After an arduous two bus journey I was in The Royal Tiger, the Wednesfield Wetherspoons. The beer choice was a bit meh so I had the Ruddles as it was the cheapest. I also needed refreshment after that journey so had a bottle of Hooch as well, something I’ve had only once previously and had nothing but disdain for people who drank it in the 90’s. I will admit now though that it is nice.

I joined the lovely Amanda from Wolverhampton CAMRA. She apologised for the lack of turn out from her branch (just her), I apologised for the lack of turn out from my branch (just me) and we got down to drinking. Amanda had bought three 3 friends along though Keith, Simone and Helen who were to be good company.

I was still peckish, having eaten far less than I had planned too and I was just eyeing up the ham, eggs and chips which was on special offer when Amanda announced that we were moving on.

Our next port of call was The Dog & Partridge. A sign on the door advised “no large groups” which I’ll certainly bear in mind if I’m ever that way with my bevy of beauties. In here it was Hobgoblin Gold and a £1 ham cob which was epic. There was a decent discussion about Tupperware, and whilst I own a piece or two of this I really didn’t have an anecdote that I could contribute. As the conversation moved on Simone, clearly still influenced by the prior conversation started a story with “at a Tupperware, erm no Ann Summers party….”. Imagine getting those mixed up for real. Heading out to buy something to store your salad in and coming back with a sexy white bra and pants set. Your lettuce might be limp the next day but your boyfriends willy wouldn’t be.

Amanda told how she was proud of me, having in her words “bullied me into joining CAMRA and that I was now Walsall Branch Chairman”. She was less impressed later when I mentioned that I’m stepping down from that role and have only 1 branch meeting left

Next up was The Vine. A superb pub run by Black Country Ales. They had my favourite ale Salopian “Lemon Dream” on. They also got my peanut order right (dry roasted every time) unlike a pub in Darlaston last week, which I didn’t notice until having a mouthful. Devastating times.

The first discussion in here was about motorbikes which again I couldn’t contribute too although my mind drifted back to when 11 year old me and my friend Nitesh used to ride around his garden on my bike pretending that we were Street Hawk. Although I stopped doing this on my 12th birthday as part of my strict growing up procedure.

We were in the quiet back room with only one other customer and were soon joined by a barmaid selling raffle tickets with the prize being a Wolves away shirt. It was left to Amanda to break the silence. “He supports Walsall, he supports Aston Villa.” The barmaid left us to it.

We were joined by John and Joanne, two local CAMRA branch members who were really nice but soon it was moving on time.

It was just Amanda and me who walked back down the High Street. It was time to visit The Angel. On pub challenge one when I said I was going to Wednesfield, 2 Wolverhampton based colleagues warned me not to go in The Angel. When people tell me that it makes me want to go in more. That night it was superb, everyone was friendly and I remember the barmaid apologising for the toilets but I cant remember why.

I thought I’d be doing this one on my own but Amanda said she’d join me, and she bought the round. I insisted on buying it but she ordered the barmaid “don’t let him pay”. My ex missus could learn a lot from her.

It was standing room only so we headed out back where there was a really nice grassed area, in the sun which was totally deserted. “They must be vampires round here” was Amanda’s thoughts. We had a very pleasant chat but then it was time to go our separate ways.

I had a little time to kill before my bus arrived and because the stop was right by The Vine, I popped back in. The Lemon Dream had gone so I had half of Strawberry Cider and enjoyed the playing of “Oblivious” by Aztec Camera which was song of the day by a good distance.

The no 9 bus was bang on time. It goes from Wednesfield to Walsall but via Bloxwich, Pelsall and Rushall. I’m sure it would sneak in Kent as well if petrol wasn’t so expensive. I got off in Bloxwich and left it to go on it’s long route back to town. I went in The Bell and then headed back to town.

I recently saw a post on Facebook from The Oak Inn that they now had Thatchers cider on but I hadn’t got round to going in so I did and was soon sat at the quiz machine with a cloudy lemon for company. I played Battleships and when you lose on this you get offered a bonus at the end, to entice you to play again. This time it was “same questions”. I’d got 1 right and crashed and burned on the second. Yeah, cheers for that. I politely declined.

I had a pint in The Registry then headed to Katz as the singer in the band they had on I’ve known for a long time but I was flagging so I grabbed the most expensive king prawn fried rice I’ve ever had (£6.20 from Lucky Star) jumped in a taxi and ate it whilst listening to Nick Abott on LBC.

Great day, always nice to do something different. Big thanks to Amanda and friends for the welcome. Next time though, I’m winning that meat raffle.

Yesterday was planned. Short overtime duty at work, do a couple of missions then straight on the pre-match booze. As I headed to Santander 3 lads approached. One pointed at me, laughed and announced “look, it’s him off The Simpsons”. I do love an odd incident and I really should have stopped to ascertain which character he meant. Hope it wasn’t Hans Moleman.

Anyway in the bank I paid some money into my savings account which I can assure you never happens. I’m expecting a letter in the next couple of days saying “there has been some very unusual activity on your account”.

Upon leaving the bank I switched to plan b. I was drained after leaving work so I sacked off the other mission and the booze and went home. I had a mossiv mug of tea and two hours in, sorry on bed instead.

I called a taxi and was soon headed to the ground. This driver unlike his counterpart in Solihull had heard of Walsall FC so no discussions were needed. In fact the driver didn’t speak other than to clarify destination and ask for his fare which I was more than happy with.

As I approached the turnstile Mase emerged out of a room that I hadn’t even noticed was there before. I was initially concerned thinking was it a medical treatment room, but it turned out to be where the free water station was. So I had me a pint of that. I’ll drink anything if it’s free.

I was in my seat not long after kick off and I was asked by people around me had I got suncream on my head. In my rush to leave the house I hadn’t given it a thought. Ross handed me a bottle of factor 50 and I got to work. Upon finishing I turned round to hand him the bottle back, and missed the goal. I duly added this to the list of bizarre reasons I have missed a goal.

Upon returning to my seat for the second half Jayne Mason kindly provided me with a hat so my head is fine this morning, both internally and externally.

Stevenage equalised in the 10th minute of 8 minutes stoppage time which was annoying as I though we’d just about ground out the win.

Back to the Bescot Bar and I ordered myself a Madri and Swill a Carling. I also decided to have a pie at a cost of £3.80. Once the card payment had gone through another member of staff piped up “oh, the pies have been reduced to a pound. Would you like 4?”. I wasn’t really feeling eating 4 pies but I do like a bargain and I was sure someone would help with eating them so I said yes. One of the main gripes of Walsall fans is pies running out before half time. I don’t know if the order had been duplicated this week but suddenly there was an outbreak of them. A lady appeared with boxes and boxes of them. I couldn’t tell if she was giving them away or selling them for a quid but suddenly I had competition for shifting my 4. Swill finally agreed to have one of the chicken balti ones whilst I tucked into the two steak ones.

All of a sudden there was a mass exodus. Had they stopped serving? Did they want to clear tables to make way for some more pies? Was Patsy Kensit outside? Stewards appeared and said we had to evacuate due to “an emergency”. Emergency or not, I wasn’t leaving my pint (even though I could see people walking out with theirs) so I downed it. I also didn’t know how long we would be waiting for a taxi so I dashed off for an emergency piss. This done I headed for the door only to be told they were letting everyone back in. I didn’t even get to enjoy the emergency outside. The shutters on the bar went back up and the beer flowed again. Swill tried to find out what the issue was and a suspicious package was mentioned. The only thing suspicious at Bescot yesterday was the stoppage time.

The bar closed so Swill and I grabbed a taxi to town. Upon arrival Swill couldn’t get the door open and had to ask the driver for advice. I just sat there humming the theme tune to The Crystal Maze which I’m sure he appreciated. Although I had struggled to even get in the cab to start with as the ledge to stand on was missing so I wasn’t really in a position to throw stones but when does that ever bother me?

We went to St Matthews Hall, the Walsall Wetherspoons and had a pleasant pint outside. I also ate the final balti pie while the staff weren’t looking. I remembered my trip to Evesham where I only had enough time left to grab chips or a final pint so I did both and was told off for eating the chips in the Wetherspoons.

We headed to Katz. Matt Stacky was outside with a few other Walsall fans. He gestured towards his crisps announcing “you can’t beat these massive bags of Monster Munch”. Those bags are all well and good until you buy a pack as I did before the Hartlepool game and nobody wants one and you have to eat them all yourself. Even as a crisps lover that is a big job.

The night was rounded off with a Madri or two in the Walsall Arms then it was back to bed with the fan on.

Decent day. The sun had certainly got his hat on, and I was glad to have one for the second half.