Evo Boozy Scribbler

Last Saturday was February 1st. I had a rough plan. I was only going to have a couple of beers and that would only happen if Walsall won. I am cutting down on the booze and generally doing well with this but there are always bumps in the road eh? Or mossiv pot holes should I say as a Walsall resident?

First up though was breakfast. My mate John Heighway had not done a Walsall Arms breakfast so he joined me for this one. Said pub has recently starting doing Sunday dinners on a Wednesday evening and he has paid for the food on both times that we have done this so I was determined to pay for breakfast here. He refused and insisted on paying. Oh well, I tried.

I’ve been coming here for brekkie since they launched in July and this visit was the first time that I’ve noticed that one condiment pot is red and the other white. Very Walsall FC approved but to be fair I’ve never used either previously but now I know that black Pepper helps boost your metabolism I’ve been obsessed with it and have it on most things.

John was impressed with brekkie, we celebrated another successful mission with a second cup of tea each and we went our separate ways. I had two missions. First one Santander. The queue was massive. I was paying in for once. Usually money only goes into my account on payday so I’m still expecting a call about “suspicious activity on my account.” I tried to use the pay in machine but it would not accept my notes (they were real I promise.) I gave up. If the machines ever rise and try to kill mankind I’m hiding in Santander. If they can’t do their one job, I doubt they are taking me out with a laser gun.

I rejoined the queue (now extra mossiv). Typically the two folk in front of me were nothing having a right good natter at the counter but eventually I was served and on my way up the market.

ASDA was next. I started using this place a couple of years ago. It always baffled my lovely SciChem Customer Service office buddy Lindsey as to why I didn’t use ASDA with it being the closest supermarket to my house but instead used Tescot, you know the one the other side of town. Especially as I had to walk home with the shopping.

Anyway I like this ASDA, my spending has gone down though since the KFC in there closed. There is always something going on in here. Once a couple were having a right barney in front of the fish finger freezer, which was the one I wanted. I had to peruse the battered cod fillets until they finished. I’ve been in over 1500 pubs, lots of them with condom machine but only in the toilet here have I ever seen someone else use one. The bloke looked around as I entered. I just gave him a knowing nod and we both carried on with our business. One time (God I sound like the lass out of American Pie/bloke out of The Fugees) I saw a new white bra still on it’s hanger left on a display of beef jerky by the checkouts. I can only assume another couple had had a row an she’d thought ‘bollocks to looking sexy for you tonight.’ Once the KFC was closed as they had no water. Good to see Precious Little from Come Fly With Me back in work.

Anyway I was only after one item today so not time for any drama on this occasion. I got home, fannied around a bit then noticed it was 2.20. Bescot Stadium is 40 minutes walk away and I wasn’t quite ready so I got my arse into gear.

The previous day at work I’d had a craving for a packet of Skips. Now, 24 hours later I still fancied some so I nipped in the shop at the top of Alexadndra Road and grabbed a pack. I was just getting to the turnstiles when Salford scored. Reasons I’ve missed a goal number 1.000,429 buying a packet of Skips.

First half was a bit poo. Asps announced he was going to the bar and asked if I wanted anything and I said I wasn’t drinking. 5 minutes of poor football later and I’d changed my mind. “Go on then, I’ll have Madri please.”

Asps and I had a good chat in the bar then he went upstairs and I found Andy Jones along with Helen Baker. There was more football chat but then it was time to make it all about me which I did by talking about my birthday bash this year. Andy reminisced about my bash last year commenting that my karaoke performance of The Divinyls classic I Touch Myself was “disturbing and entertaining.” I was more than happy with both of these bits of feedback. Now how do I top that this year?

I headed back upstairs. Salford broke away and scored a second but then a triple substitution turned things around around and we snatched a 2-2 draw. There was a strange split in the crowd with some happy at a comeback point after two defeats whilst others were ready to start ripping seats up.

I joined Asps, Ross and Pete in heading to The Railway Club. Asps asked why I was drinking Coors. I said “I’m not drinking and this is the closest that I can get to not drinking.” “Why aren’t you drinking?” he asked. I admitted “I am really, I’m just being a nob.”

After one pint in there I power walked into town. At the top of Bradford Street I noticed exterior lights lit up on the front of Room 112. I still haven’t ticked this off since it changed it’s name from Flying Tiger (if I remember correctly, Bar NV before that). The last time I tried to tick it off Josh was dropping me off in town after watching a game at his. I saw it lit up and the front door open, albeit slightly. He parked up, I jumped out and marched in. It quickly became apparent it was a private party and I swear that everyone turned round and glared at me. I’m used to people staring at my crackin arse but not my face.

Room 112 was not open. It seems like I’ll be in Room 101 before Room 112. (Room 101 is a torture chamber if you’ve not read 1984)

I continued into town but needed food. Those Skips were wearing off so I went into St Matthews Hall ready to order a plate of 10 chicken wings and have a couple of Wetherspoons coffee refills. Then I saw on the bar a notice “Managers Special. Mixed grill and a pint for £9 (I typed miced grill on the first draft of this, that would be a different meal but I bet some takeaways could offer it). Anyway this deal was about £1 more than the chicken wings and coffee would have cost so I dived in. This cutting down on the beer was hitting a snag. Oh well. Announce Wet February.

I’d seen Matt Whelan earlier and he told me that local acoustic singer and fellow Walsall FC fan Kevin Ruby-Astin was playing Katz in the evening. I’d heard good things about him so I started walking that way. I messaged Whelan asking what time he was getting there but before he had chance to reply I was heading into what was Arbor Lights. This place was great in the 90’s as Fibber McGee’s. Dominic Owen and I would venture in on a Wednesday for the very entertaining karaoke hosted by legendary local barber Michael Scissorhands. We’d then grab food from the Kebab Ranch before walking back together. We both lived by The Fullbrook in those days. It later became Arbor Lights, a swanky bar which went totally foodie towards the end with limited opening hours. It then became a motorbike shop which lasted about a year and is now Afriqana – restaurant and Lounge.

No pulls on the bar but bottles of Heineken and Guinness available I went for the lager saving the stout for those affected by the national shortage. Music was very urban with some Pete Tong style horns thrown in. It could have been Pete Tong for all I know. I have no idea what the Radio 1 schedule is these days.

No menus dotted around so it was just the Lounge part of the business at this point. Before departing I used the loo. The doors was marked with “Biker Dudes.” I’m guessing a left over touch from the motorbike shop days. I went in despite not being a biker. I went on a motorbike once when I was about 8. I was terrified, screamed very loudly and cried for ages afterwards. Even as a kid I never missed the chance to be very dramatic about things.

In Katz Kevin was already on and it was Amy MacDonald “This Is The Life” being performed which is a bloody great song. This was followed by Fleetwood Mac “You Can Go Your Own Way.” I needed no further convincing that this was going to be a good night.

There were a few fellow Saddlers in which was good, especially as the next song was self penned about being a Walsall fan. One lyric I think was “I’ve got friends, Saturdays and Tuesday nights like when Barrow away was fucking shite.” I couldn’t clap the first two songs, due to getting served and then tying my shoelace. I think most 5 year olds could tie shoe laces quicker than me but then they don’t have booze in them. Anyway this song was class and I certainly clapped it.

Other stand out songs were “Valerie” very much more Zutons than Amy Winehouse, and “If You Wanna Come Back” by my favourite band The Vaccines. A double bill of my two favourite Billy Ocean songs just added to the occasion.

I thoroughly enjoed this but I wanted a night cap in The Walsall Arms so didn’t stay until the end.. I must see Kevin again soon though and I think he said he is back in Katz after the last home game of the season v Accrington. Let’s hope we have something to celebrate by then eh?

The Walsall Arms was heaving, and bouncing. Usual Sunday night karaoke host Mad Marie was doing an Amy Winehouse set and I caught the last two numbers. Firstly “Back To Black” and finally “Valerie.” Both went down a storm with the latter having the whole pub singing with many dancing on the seats. Great times and I was happy as I’d had two lots of Valerie action that night and doubt many other men in the Walsall area could boast that. Marie went on to sing general songs. I think I had a couple of beers, and a shot then departed.

Cracking day. I’m still cravimg Skips though.

I wasn’t really feeling getting up last Saturday. The bed was warm and the outside wasn’t but a day out with Andrew “Rollo” Rollason had been planned so it was up and about…eventually.

I met Rollo in 2008 when he arrived at SciChem. I was the first face he saw at the company as I was working Reception/Trade Counter then. I moved upstairs in 2011, he joined me in the Customer Service office in 2017 and we had some right laughs in there. One memory was when he walked up to my desk, said “alright you fat prick?” then followed this up with a routine work question.. I later confirmed that this was the favourite thing I’d been called in a long time.

Rollo left in 2021 but we’ve kept in touch and he rings me nearly every week and we have a good natter. We also regularly text and just call each other random names. Famous criminals, disgraced politicians and despot world leaders tend to be amongst our favourite choices when doing this.

Back in November I reviewed Tiffany’s in Willenhall. It was one of my favourite articles and if you missed it you can catch it here. Rollo knows the owner Ben but had never been in his cafe. I’d been raving to Rollo about it ever since. I often say I must go back at the end of reviews but with this place I proper meant it. Rollo showed an interest in coming to the Walsall v Tranmere match. This would involve drinking. Stomachs would need lining so to quote a 90’s song I said “what about breakfast at Tiffany’s?”

We arranged to meet in Tiffany‘s at 11, go into Walsall for beer then head to Bescot. It was only the Sunday before when I realised the match was kicking off at 12.30. Organised Evans strikes again. We arranged a 10 am meet instead.

The t-shirt ironing tune of choice today was Let Your Love Flow by Bellamy Brothers. Great song and it always reminds me of the Barclaycard advert when the bloke walks out of the office and jumps in a water slide which takes him home. Appreciate my imagination gets the better of me at times and that the NHS has no money but it would be class if one of these could be installed at the Manor. Finish at 4.30, jump in the water slide and head home, waving at all the nurses on the West Wing en route. O ar. Anyway the 529 was on time and I was soon at Tiffany’s.

Rollo was there already along with his friends John and Hedgey. John’s young son Fionn was also there. Those three lads along with owner Ben were all in the same year at St Thomas More School. I also attended that place but left 7 years before they started. As per usual it was left to me to bring the mood down a bit which I happily did by expressing how much I hated the place and some of the attendees.

Breakfast then. In the week Tiffany’s had announced a new breakfast sharer, which is mossiv. Comes with cheese on toast too which is just genius. I wasn’t having it though. As much as I like Rollo, I’m not sharing my breakfast with him. I love breakfast and wouldn’t share it with anyone. Actually scrub that, if Patsy Kensit ever stops over at my house I’ll think about it.

Like last time I had the choose 10 items breakfast, as did Rollo whilst the others went a bit more off the menu. Talking of the menu I got to peruse it this time as I sat next to the big one on the wall. They do a sandwich called “The Kitchen Sink” called so as billed as everything but the Kitchen sink between bread. I like it when places put some thought into their sammo names.

Conversation was good, background music was Radio 1 again, the standout highlight being Kelly Clarkson “My Life Would Suck Without You” and the breakfast was class. I toyed with the idea of starting a big food fight to try and get Rollo barred from the place by his mate but the food was that good it was only being thrown in one direction. Down my throat.

My mate Asps was meant to join us but instead made a late cameo appearance to collect takeaways for the family. He did announce that he wasn’t going to the match due to the cold and was watching it instead at The Met Bar in town. I briefly felt a tad jealous but this quickly passed.

Rollo ordered a Uber, I exchanged pleasantries with Ben on the way out and he comes across as a top bloke and I wish his cafe all the best. Rollo and I quickly made a pact to go back very soon.

We got to the Railway Club in Pleck. Long standing mates of mine Gaz and Daz were already in there. Gaz was in a very lively mood as is standard with him and he was on good form. They kept trying to involve Rollo in the football chat so he fessed up that he’s a West Brom fan which they were fine with.

My mate Ashley was in and he was on the Baby Guinness shots and it wasn’t yet midday. I was impressed. I agreed with him how good they are and he said he wished they were bigger. So there you go publicans. Make big size Adult Guinness a thing.

Rollo suggested a taxi to the ground and I was fine with this. We offered Gaz and Daz a lift and this caused a discussion between them as they didn’t agree. At one point they were just staring at each other. It felt like a Dragons Den style stand off between business partners. I asked if they wanted to go to the back wall to discuss it. They eventually turned the lift down. Outside Rollo commented that his new jacket made him look like the Michelin Man. I asked if he was off to award a star to a restaurant later.

We made kick off and took our place in the stand alongside Jayne Mason who I’d not seen since she got back off her Cricket watching jaunt. Good to see you Jayne. We went 2 nil up, Harry Williams made an incredible block with his face from a fierce drive. Mark behind me suggested we ought to check if the ball was okay. Seriously Williams would head away a Kitchen sink for the team if need be. I should have brought one from Tiffany’s to check this.

Rollo headed to the bar, Tranmere had a man sent off and took over the game for a while, pulling a goal back on the stroke of injury time.

They were showing the game in the bar. Jayne Harris still had a pint left so we joined her. When I got my round in I was shocked at the price. Nearly £16 for 2 pints. I queried this, most unlike me but was told it was correct. I went back to the table and Rollo said his round was only £11 something so encouraged by Jayne and him I reluctantly went back up and yes she had charged me for 3 pints. The supervisor said “we can’t give refunds. Just give him another pint.” God job I like a booze.

We scored another 3 and it was a superb game. This was a historic win as it set a record as the first time in our history that we have won 8 league games in a row. I’ll admit I shed a tear at full time because this team is just so damn good and we haven”t thrown money around like promotion winners of last season. This club has come so far in the last couple of season and we are long overdue some good times.

We headed to The Locker. Thankfully the lights were on this time and the dj was playing some excellent tunes. It was very busy and joyous. John Heighway was in with a Belgian bloke who he had met on one of his trips over there and had flown in to watch our game, on his birthday as well. I hope he enjoyed his first visit. He was back home to watch Anderlecht the next day.

After a couple of hours Rollo got a taxi, I think to meet Hedgey although I still suspect he was sneaking off to award a restaurant a star whilst still in character.

Laura and Pez gave me a lift to Katz which I was very grateful for. It was busy in there too with a big number of fellow Walsall fans. John had beaten me there, but without the Belgian. Kimbo and Mrs Kimbo were in too, and fair play to her as she is a Tanmere fan and was still sporting her scarf.

It was ace in Katz but as the clock struck 6.30 I decided I’d drank enough and headed home, stopping for a Danny’s Chicken to break up the stroll home. I was home listening to the Indie Might on Radio X by 7.10.

What a day. Great times. I saw lots of top people and a bit of history too. Full credit to the ground staff for getting the game on, and the players for a convincing win in tough conditions. I’m now not drinking or eating out until February so the blog is going on mini hiatus again but I’ll be back soon, and thanks as ever for reading.

Saturday saw the closure of long standing Walsall drinking venue Rock Steady Eddies. Opened in 1996 by Eddie and Emma, it wasn’t until 2003 when I became friends with Woza and he introduced me to the Stafford Street scene that I started going.

Chris had tipped me off about closing night so I decided one last visit had to be done as it’s a place I’ve always enjoyed drinking in. My visits went through the roof when I moved round the corner to Lewis Street in 2010. They become sporadic when I moved back this side of town in 2016, limited mainly to when Craig came up from Coventry as he liked the presence of a quiz machine and the very reasonable happy hour beer price before 6pm. One day I was late getting out of work at Cardboard Boxes 2 Go and got there just after 6. He’d stocked up before the deadline and 4 pints of Strongbow Dark Fruit were waiting for me. I like a drink but 4 pints in pub 1 of a crawl is a bit much even for me. I begged him to help me with them. These visits dried up when they got rid of the quiz machine.

So last Saturday then. My shirt ironing song choice was random even for me. Little Jackie – The World Should Revolve Around Me. It’s a great song and I love the lyric “what came first the chicken nugget or the Egg McMuffin?” I’ve actually researched this. It’s the latter.

I got to Eddies not long after 7. Chris and James were already there. along with a lot of other folk including some I haven’t seen for many years so it was nice to be back. The Carling had already run out so it was Stella. Not my usual choice at all but needs must so a pint was quickly ordered.

Chris is an absolute regular here along with James and he is proper distraught at its closure. He was pointing people out who don’t live near the place and saying where they are from and it’s their local. Like when I lived in Darlaston and I’d walk to The Fitters by The Arboretum and back. When you find your favourite drinking venue it matters not if it’s not your nearest pub.

One of the last times that I was in with Craig, someone had locked the jukebox down with UB40 songs (we lasted for 3 before giving up on life and fleeing hastily). This time the jukebox was off and a dj was performing, and he was going through some 60’s classics.

They’d put a buffet on. The samosas and onion bhajis were amazing. Tunes continued and Chris was on good form. He always has a silly joke to hand and my favoruite of tonight was “I tried that new Cricket curry. It gave me the runs.”

The DJ then played 2 UB40 songs in a row. Was it the same person who had locked down the jukebox that time? It got me thinking though. I’ve only dj-d in pubs 3 times (Fitters x 2 and Hatherton Arms x 1) and I’d love to do it again. Next time I might just play Kelly Clarkson all night. It’s what the fans want.

We had a cameo appearance from Josh as he had never been in the place and wanted to tick it off. As always it was ace to see him. The dj played “We’ll Meet Again” which seemed appropriate, Red Light Spells Danger and then the National Anthem at 10.25. It went a bit more random after that with Bob The Builder and Fast Food Song by The Fast Food Rockers. For some reason I did the dance to The Birdie Son during that one.

Josh offered me a lift to the Walsall Arms so I said some goodbyes, to the customers, staff and the building itself. It mus have been a tough night for Chris as it was the first time I’ve ever known him to not eat a bag of crisps. I’ll miss Eddies. I have only good memories of the place. Some more fuzzy than others. I think given its prime location on a main road into Walsall with a car park and bus stop right outside it won’t be empty long. A desi pub with the barely used back room knocked into one is my guess.

The Walsalll Arms was class, with a male/female combo singing. John Heighway, Kimob and Mrs Kimbo (Kirsty) were in. I’d not met Kirsty before so that was good.

A man who I’d not seen there before decided that I look like like Michael van Gerwen and kept going on about me losing the darts the night before. I get this a lot. It’s my new like a like thing. I do miss the days when strangers would shout Matt Lucas catchphrases at me in the street.

I had a couple then left the others in there. Got home, fell asleep on the settee and woke up at 3am. What a great night.

I had no plans to blog about last Sunday. It didn’t pan out. It was Walsall v Newport and I was buzzing for it but thought there wouldn’t be much to write about.

The t-shirt ironing tune was a bit off my usual cool indie music vibe. Not thinking I’d be reporting this I went for Feels So Good by Mel B. Hadn’t heard it in decades but it had popped in my head the night before and as it’s my favourite song by solo Spice Girl I thought why the hell not? I know I’m going to get pelters for that opinion but I care not. Why not share this blog far and wide so I can get more good natured abuse? I don”t mind if it gets me new readers.

I had to pop for a family visit on the way and my cousin Lorraine gave me a lift down. We were dropped at Matalan on the retail park at 2.35. Far too early to go in the ground yeah? So I popped to McDonald’s. I know what you’re thinking. ‘Hang on Evo, in last Sunday’s blog you said you were trying to not spend money and now you’re running off to MaccieD’s, you fat fuck.’

Well there are mitigating circumstances. Due to illness I’d got home from work on the Friday and not left the house until now so a good bit of budget was still in my wallet. Secondly I was craving a Toffee Latte as I don’t go to said fat food restaurant much nowadays and. Finally I suspected the coffee machine in the Bescot Bar would be having one of its “out of service days.”

As I stated last week I love a bargain so opted for an extra value meal. I couldn’t go in McDonald’s and just order a coffee could I? I mean I know you can but had I, every member of staff along with all fellow customers would have pointed and tutted. Thy’d have been perfectly entitled too as well.

I got my food and fannied around on Facebook and Twitter. I got in the ground at 3.15. Opps.

Block 6 was rammed which was good to see. I couldn’t get near my season ticket seat, which to be fair is normal. I don’t even know where it is., never sat in it. It’s the back row but I usually can’t get near that line and go one or two in front. This time I stood next to Asps and had a good natter. At half time the Bescot Bar coffee machine was out of service but they were showing the game on a screen. It was packed in the bar and although it was only extended a couple of years ago it’s already getting to full capacity most games. Despite not drinking I opted to stay in the in there for “a bit.”

I finally ventured out at the 85th minute just as folk were starting to congregate along the pitch side wall. It was 1-0 as we headed into stoppage time. This is where we normally go to shit. Try and defend and throw it away. Different animals this season. With about a minute of added time left a perfectly weighted ball over the top from Taylor Allen was chested down by Nathan Lowe. We expected him to run into the corner. Instead he just banged it home for 2-0. Joyous scenes.

Through the illness my voice was wrecked but I was still joining in the full time chants especially the Lowe and Adomah ones. Then it was straight to The Locker.

Yet again it was pitch black in there. Not sure if this is trendy or what? I know dimly lit pubs are all the rage now but this has no lighting at all except on the dj decks and some flashing fairy lights around the bar. We can’t see where our friends are or if any slippery booze has been spilled but can see the bar. If Walsall fans know one thing, it’s where the bar is.

If they are going to persist with this perhaps they could start selling Walsall FC branded miners helmets. They’d flog millions though I bet some fans would soon be on Facebook stating their size is out of stock.

Needless to say it was ace in there. I was soon offered a lift with Badge (I honestly don’t know his real name) and he agreed to drop me by the Walsall Arms. Epic.

The Arms was busy and I was soon joined by John Heighway, Kimbo and Coxy. Spooky seeing Coxy as he’d popped in my head the day before as I thought I hadn’t seen him since he unexpectedly joined me at the urinal when I didn’t even know he was in the building after the Switzerland match in the Summer. “Alright Evo” he started “not seen you since you had your knob out. I’m glad he remembers it as fondly as I do.

He then asked why I haven’t been going to the games. I said I had been going to home games, though I failed to mention that I missed 3 on the bounce in Charlton, Notts County and Reading. I figured if the prosecution doesn’t know this, I’m not offering it. I finally showed him my season ticket. He then asked would he be mentioned in the blog.

“I’m not blogging about today Coxy”. “Oh go on, I want a mention.” “I don’t have any material>” “Just do a small one.” Me do a small blog? Perish the thought. I promised I’d try and rustle one up as he had caught me in a very rare good mood.

The karaoke was in full flow and was very jovial. Coxy asked me to do a song with him, no idea what but just as he asking the lady announced no more as she probably had enough requests to last until 2026.

Fellow Saddler Scooby went up, declaring “we are 12 points clear” then instigating a chant of “we are top of the league”. He then nailed “Never Forget” by Take That. Quite apt. I’ve not been away this season but I will never forget this season all being well. It’s been memorable so far.

I got a message from Laura asking if the darts was on. I replied yes. She asked if I was still there so I replied with a picture of my freshly pulled pint of HPA. A picture says a thousands words or something like that yeah? And you know I don’t like a word count.

We were soon joined by her, Pezza, my Niece Amber and her chap JB. Amber grew up by the pub but hadn’t been in since my birthday bash in 2012 when it was still a 2 room bar. It was good to see her back in there and she was on good form as per usual.

They had a couple and then Pez must have used his phone magic as suddenly all parties were brandishing bags of chicken from Danny’s round the corner to take home. I don’t do envy, it’s one of the Deadly Sins that I don’t dabble with but on this occasion a little.

They departed and I headed back inside. Coxy managed to do a song California Dreaming which is an absolute classic. He did a good job and I wish my voice would have let me join in, even if just the backing vocals (leaves am brown, skies am grey etc). It also had me craving a pint of Carling Premier.

I was surprised and also blown away by two ladies belting out some classic Limp Biizkit. The karaoke finished and I think I had one more beer before heading off for an early night as I had work the next day.

Magnificent day. Cheers to everyone involved.

Last Saturday was the shortest day in England. The least amount of daylight in the year. It was also the annual homecoming gig for Birmingham band The Twang. They do this gig just before Christmas each year and Josh has being going since 2012. Last year Pezza and myself got our first call ups for this event. Josh named an unchanged team for this year and it was nice for us to keep our places.

I didn’t blog about last years night. There was plenty of events though. During the song “You On My Shoulders”, Josh unexpectedly stuck his head between my legs and lifted me up. I was surprised somewhat and also worried. Not doubting Josh’s strength but in Boxing terms I’m no Flyweight. Possibly Super Middle or Light Heavyweight. I suddenly had visions of me falling backwards off his shoulder and smashing my head on the ground. I must have made a commotion as people in front looked round and Pezza commented that they looked very concerned.

Post gig we went back to New Street for the last train. Before it came in someone had an altercation with a member of staff on the platform, shoved him over and then bolted across the tracks when back up was called for. The guy reached an adjacent platform just as high viz bods appeared and he ran off down the tracks and into a tunnel. This delayed the trains departure.

On board we were joined by a random guy who befriended the group of ladies behind us, finding out that one was called Colette and he then spent the next 10 minutes singing “Colette, the best a man can get” as if he was in a Gillette advert.

The train showed no sign of moving and then an announcement came through that it would depart shortly but would only go to Hednesford not it’s full route to Rugeley. This caused a fight between two groups of passengers. You know on the films Airplane and Airplane 2 when there are announcements and everyone starts fighting? It reminded me of that.

We had to wait for the police to come. We were joined by Becki Floyd who came along the carriage looking for calmness, she found us. Finally we were put on a different train and the full route was reinstated. We departed an hour late, getting back in to The Registry just after 1am. Josh then made me stay until 4am.

So what did this years event have in store? Josh and Pez met up in the afternoon but I wasn’t down with that. I’d barely been out since the Pelsall day on November 24th so was a bit out of practice at the old drinking lark plus I’m currently under self imposed austerity measures and trying to limit my spending till March so I wanted a cheap day.

I finally left the house at 6, stopping at the Greggs at the bottom of the market for train food. It’s well documented that I don’t drink booze on trains but I’m happy to eat on them. I’d barely been in a Greggs since the pre Saturday overtime stone cold sausage, cheese and bean melt atrocity in 2022. It wasn’t this branch though and I was pleased to see it still open at this time of the day.

Last Christmas by Wham came on as I entered. I’d crashed out of Whamageddon on day 10 with a double Whamming so I was okay with this. I grabbed a baguette and headed to the counter. The friendly lass said I could have a coffee with it for an extra 30p. I didn’t want a coffee but I can’t resist a bargain and you have to look for value during austerity so I agreed. We discussed Christmas shopping while she prepared the drink and it was a nice visit. I left and got a message form Josh. They were catching a later train and summonsed me to The Met Bar. Train coffee quickly became gulped Park Street coffee.

It was busy on arrival. An indie version of Last Christmas came on. I couldn’t place it. Certainly not the Manic Street Preachers or Jimmy Eat World version the latter of which is my favourite.

This gave way to Warm This Winter by Gabriella Cilmi which is an absolute classic. We marvelled at Walsall being top of League 2 on the tv screens and it was a pleasant pint but soon it was chuff chuff time.

On board it took Josh all of seconds to comment on me not drinking on trains but producing a baguette. It was good though. In Birmingham it was straight in to Bachus Bar which is underneath a hotel opposite New Street. It was a new one for me and Josh although I remember me and Woza trying to tick it off on Pub 365 Challenge volume 1 in 2011 but it was either rammed or we were turned away. Possibly both.

It was rammed with some stunning ladies in delightful outfits. From there we headed to the venue which had changed from the previous year. It was now at the O2 Academy which I couldn’t place, Josh had said it was “by New Street” which threw me as it really wasn’t but as we approached I remembered it. This was to be my 4th visit having been before to see Idlewild with Chris & Laura, Shed Seven with Woza, Sarah and Gareth. This was the time I nearly pulled a really nice lady. Woza still insists it was an actual pull and that she was really keen but I am rubbish at reading the signals from ladies. I need them in flashing neon lights.

I also went to see James there with Tim Gwillam where we got to have a q & a with lead singer Tim Booth on the afternoon. Tim (my mate, not the singer) then took me for food in The Mailbox and a couple of pints before we headed back. So it was nice to be making a 4th visit with another set of people.

We were soon inside. I always have someone tall in front of me at gigs and this time it was a Peter Crouch wannabe. I didn’t want to see anyway which was good especially as he soon had his phone aloft above his head.

I can’t profess to being a big fan of The Twang but I know 3 or 4 of their tracks and I remembered some from last year. We moved out of Peter Crouch’s slipstream and I ended up behind a lady in a Santa hat. She moved back and I couldn’t retreat so then every time she moved her head her hat rubbed against my nose. It’s a good job I don’t have a raging Cocaine habit or the sniffer dogs of Birmingham would have had a field day on that hat upon her departure.

The “Shoulder” song came on. Pez and Josh had a quick committee meeting about whether a repeat of last year was occurring but they opted against it. I am noticeably heavier than last year which may have swung it. Crouchy didn’t put anyone on his shoulders either.

It was a cracking gig. Their big hit Either Way went down a storm and it was a great night. Listening to live music, with you and your best mate with your arms around each others shoulders is class.

Afterwards was another new place TOCA Social. Which 3 floors up was reached by 6 flights of stairs and needless to say I was the last of our group to reach the summit. Someone coming up behind me asked if I was ok. I replied “I will be when I get some Oxygen.” It reassured me that Sir Edmund Hillary I certainly am not. We were there to watch the Tyson Fury fight. We arrived during round 4 but I still think we saw more of it than the judges. Usyk must have battered Fury during the 3 and half rounds that we didn’t see as he didn’t do much during the rest of the fight bar round 11. When the result was announced the room was stunned. We slumped out and jumped in an Uber. We didn’t fancy the late night train antics again. I did see on Twitter the next day a couple of Tweets offering articles to explain how Usyk won but as a biased sports fan those didn’t fit my narrative so I didn’t read.

We got to Walsall and The Registry was mentioned. I’d only had two pints all evening so it was a yes from me. It was busy with lots of ladies in Santa outfits. Josh had one and went so me and Pez drank up and headed to The Watering Trough for “a last one”. There were a few in and the DJ was playing Slade and Meatloaf so all good. Pez announced he was getting a Wishbone takeaway. I pondered one more in Flans. Pez said he’d join me in Flans and order his food while in there. All sounded very new fangled but fine with me.

Flans only opens on Friday and Saturday nights nowadays so I don’t get to go in really. Don’t think I’ve been in all year. It was very busy though which was good to see. I got served straight away. A nice lady commented on the big head on my Carling. She then took a lick of it. I didn’t mind. It’s been a long time since a lady licked my head. Just a shame it was on a pint of Carling.

She was a good laugh though. Next she was rubbing the top of my actual head like a superstar DJ scratching on the hottest new white label vinyl in his collection. Then she was pulling her dress down and flashing her red bra at someone across the bar. Red is my 2nd favourite colour after white so I was fine with this.

Pez ordered his food and left at 2. Just as I was finishing my pint the DJ announced that he was going to play for an extra half an hour so I stayed for one more. He was on excellent form. He played The Love I Lost by West End featuring Sybil which is one of the best songs ever. This was followed by Red Light Spells Danger by Billy Ocean, which well what can I say? It’s one of the best songs ever.

Final song was Starship’s Nothings Gonna Stop Us Now which is a Walsall FC anthem and we’ve been pretty unstoppable of late and long may it continue.

I got home at 3am. Earlier than expected and well under budget. Exceptional day. One of my things for 2025 is more live music. And judging by those last two pints, more Flan O’Briens.

The Prince Of Wales Theatre in Cannock is earmarked for closure and I gather a consultation period is underway. Although I’m not from Cannock I know what a great venue it is, not only for the locals but also for drama groups across the region. A nod also to ale drinkers as Cannock Chase CAMRA have their wonderful beer festival there, something I have attended both as a drinker and a worker.

I joined AMCS (Aldridge Musical Comedy Society) in 2014 and 9 of the 13 shows I’ve been in have occurred on that Prince Of Wales stage. So here I look back over those shows and try and explain why this venue means so much to theatre goers and performers alike.

I’d never shown any interest in being a stage performer. Yes I enjoyed being in primary school shows but didn’t join any drama groups at secondary school. My first show with AMCS was Jesus Christ Superstar. May as well jump straight into the deep end eh? My mate Nick Britt got me into it, eventually after I ran out of excuses not too.

Me and Nick went to The Prince Of Wales to see a show called Our House. Although I’d been in the venue before this was my first time as a theatre goer, with the seats down and I looked over to the stage and it hit me that I’d be performing on it in a few weeks in front of capacity crowds. I just stood there dumbstruck with my mouth open for a good minute or two. Nick had to look back to see where I was. I’d proper gone into stand by mode. It was a great show though. We also went to see Brownhills Goes To Broadway by Brownhills Musical Theatre Company, another excellent show.

I was overweight. I decided in a bid to shed some timber in time for the show I’d give up the booze for 2 months, ending this at The Cannock Beer Festival. I hate watching myself back and rarely do, but I recently saw a clip from JCS and I was waddling around the stage like a fat penguin. It was like I’d tuned into Cringe FM. Note to self, don’t give up booze. It’s pointless.

Anyway the shows went well, I sold loads of tickets and having my mates chanting “Evo Evo Evo” as I walked out for the bows will live with me forever.

I only planned to do one show but was eventually talked into doing the next one Heroes & Sweethearts. Emma Wallage is very persuasive. This was a show for the 70th anniversary of VE Day put together and directed by the lovely Jools. A combination of wartime songs and traditional English anthems. My favourite part of this was a Dads Army style sketch performed by the 7 blokes in the show and written by Nick. My character had a very weak bladder and had to go for a piss about 4 times during the 5 minute sketch and the audience loved it. The other highlight was I got to be the only person on stage singing the opening verse of the show as a soloist in the song This Is The Amy, Mr. Jones.

One of the songs was I’ve Got A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts and during the line “some as big as your head” someone behind me would remove my hat and I’d point to my mossiv cranium. This earned me the nickname Coconut from a lovely lady in the club afterwards. I didn’t mind. I’ve been called much worse.

Although only my second show with the society I was already developing a taste for being the last cast member off the stage and on the final night I was keeping up with this when I doubled back and gave the audience a cheeky salute before the curtains closed. On the back of this my mate Mase said I had to the same but with a Ric Flair impression. I can’t remember the show but I did it. This was an epic show and remains one of my favourites.

Musical Memories was performed at Rugeley Rose Theatre but in May 2016 we were back at P.O.W for Thoroughly Modern Millie. On the Sunday of show week, we were in the theatre for band call and if you’ve been you’ll know the corridor which leads to the auditorium where refreshments and programmes are sold. We were in there with a 14 piece orchestra. It was my big day so they played Happy Birthday while everyone sang along. Marvellous moment.

On the back of this show I considered changing my Twitter name to Thoroughly Modern Mikee but that would have been utter cobblers. Nowt modern about me and my friends will happily testify to that. I’m not materialistic and don’t do gadgets or new technology. The most modern stuff in my house is food and some of that is out of date.

The magnificent panto Once Upon A Time was performed at Great Wyrley High School (they have a prper theatre set up, we weren’t in the assembly hall) but in May 2017 we were back in Cannock for Fabulous At 50, a concert to celebrate 5 decades of AMCS. Me and the delightful Sarah Carter who had teamed up to be Mary and Bert from Mary Poppins in Musical Memories were reunited twice in this one. Firstly in One Day More from Les Mis as the Thernardiers but also in a chaotic restaurant scene, the brain work of Nick. Sarah in this basically passed out and I had to show concern whilst trying to summon the waiter for another drink and shuffling off stage repeatedly for a piss. Can’t help but feel I’m a bit typecast in that respect but it was great fun.

Talking of One Day More on one occasion I was in the loo when the first notes started and I had to dash down the stairs with my scarf caught in my zip. This was a superb show and the one song with just the blokes “There Is Nothing Like A Dame” was phenomenal. On the last night the stage hands provided pizzas which was ace.

Smokey Joe’s Cafe was performed at Aldridge Youth Theatre but in May 2018 it was back to our spiritual home for West Side Story. I immediately ruled myself out thinking there wasn’t a role for me but was talked into going for Officer Krupke. Main memory of this show was my squeaky truncheon. There is one scene where Krupke is pushed over and during one rehearsal the squeak went off upon impact on the stage. The sound travelled in the empty auditorium but it got a big laugh. We disable the squeak in the dressing room afterwards.

We were back in Great Wyrley for Sleeping Beauty but May 2019 saw a return to Cannock for Me & My Girl with me playing deaf old man Sir Jasper Tring. Absolutely no method acting needed there. Tough show this one but the audiences loved it and I was just pleased to get through the Lambeth Walk dance without dropping a clanger although I will confess I shed no tears when finding out that I didn’t have to join this one until quite late in the proceedings.

November’s show was Magic Of Menken, a tribute to composer Alan Menken. This one caused some anxiety as during one song (Mine Mine Mine I think but willing to be wrong) the blokes had to launch actual spades. I was paired up with Nick for this and I was terrified that I was going to damage either him or the famous Prince Of Wales stage. Early practices of this were done on the car park outside our rehearsal studio. This was in full view of an old folks home. God knows what they thought.

Covid stopped everything but we were back in Cannock in November 2021 for a panto, Cinderella. Written and directed by Nick. Early rehearsals for this were held on an outdoor netball court which was strange.

I love panto. Getting to be silly on stage is just so me. I was Baron Hardup in this, Cinderella’s somewhat henpecked father. I had a great time playing opposite his wife Madame Waitrose played superbly by Sarah Hinkley.

My favourite part of this show was in The Palace Ballroom. Everyone was instructed to take their places for the formal dance. Hardup and Waitrose marched stage front and centre and stood there looking dignified. Then The Macarena started playing. I especially liked this as Sarah Beckett our Choreographer had told me I could get this wrong for comedic effect and believe me she never says this. So I got positioning wrong and even threw in other dances with a bit of YMCA action for good measure.

Too many good performances in this one to mention but Rich Beckett as Dandini, newcomer Bethany as Chardonnay and my stage wife Chante (real life wife of one of my besties Swill) as Buttons were all brilliant. Also big nods to Michael Mannion who stepped in half way through rehearsals to replace the original Prince Charming.

This was the toughest of all the show weeks as I couldn’t get any time off work and we’d just relocated to the other side of Wolverhampton. So it was up at 6am, work all day then straight to Cannock and get home around 11pm. All week. Gruelling but the audience response and the reviews made it all worthwhile.

Sister Act was next but I thought there wasn’t many roles for men in that so I sat it out and my God it was strange being in the audience at the P.O.W rather than being on stage. I’d been in every show since joining the society so it was weird. I did do front of house duties selling programmes with the lovely Christine.

My last show with AMCS was also in Cannock in November 2022 called Musicals That Rock. Including songs from Meatloaf and Green Day so it was right up my street. I can’t remember why but the wonderful Lucy Pountain flicking the v’s at me from up above during the last dress rehearsal at P.O.W was an amusing part of show week. Post how it was agreed that we rocked the ‘nock.

After this show I did front of house again for Dick Whittington The Secret Of Skull Island and Stages Through The Ages, two excellent shows. I love doing FOH especially when audience members that I don’t know say things like “oh, aren’t you in this one?”. One lady even pointed to her friend and said “you’re her favourite person in these shows” which I loved. Some people don’t like compliments but I lap them up, especially as I don’t get many. An unexpected development stopped me attending So This Is Christmas last month. It would normally take wild horses to stop me attending but this couldn’t be avoided. With things as they are that could be the last time AMCS perform at this wonderful venue.

So we need to save the place. Not just for performers and audiences but also the staff. I’ve got to know the stage hands, lighting and sound techies and of course the bar staff. There is a Save The Prince Of Wales Facebook group so feel free to join that.

I’m not finished with AMCS and I’d dearly love to tread the boards in Cannock with them once more.

So to summarise, I love the Prince Of Wales Theatre. Had great times on stage, so many laughs in the dressing room and post show beers when that bar in the pictures opens. It’s by the gents dressing room which is a result. My only regret is that I didn’t get to run across the empty Prince Of Wales stage in an inflatable pig costume like I had the pleasure to do in Great Wyrley. It got big laughs every show. And yes I’m mentioning this just so I can show the picture.

First job last Sunday was to see if my fence had survived the overnight 45mph winds from Storm Bert. Must be the 50 year old in me that as first thing in the morning I’m checking if my wood is still erect.

T-shirt ironing song on this occasion was The Zutons Why Won’t You Give Me Your Love? No explanation needed other than it is magnificent.

The number 10 bus was 15 minutes late and then went on a diversion throuigh Coalpool but soon I was in Shelfield ready to meet Chris and James. We’d arranged this sup up a month earlier and I’d duly booked the Monday off work but then numerous events conspired and I had to cancel that day. I asked, then pleaded with Chris for a much earlier start so I’d be home in good time to sleep the booze off and a reduction in the number of venues. Well, I got the early start and at 12.25 I was walking into The Four Crosses.

Chris and James were already there having also had a diversion to their walk when they discovered Harden Road flooded and they had to take an alternative route. Chris was quick to point out the first controversy of the day. His pack of Walkers Ready Salted crisps were out of a multi pack and not to be sold individually. I said pubs should sell complete multi packs. Imagine that, being able to buy a pack of 6 bags of Beef Space Raiders to go with your booze. This would boost the nighttime economy I tell thee.

Next up was St Francis Club. I thought I’d been in most of the licensed premesis in the borough pf Walsall but had no prior knowledge of this until Chris sent his route over in the week. Chris went in first and gave me the choice of doors left or right. I cracked my usual tedious jibe of never getting to go left on a plane so go that way. He stuch his head in and retreated. “There’s a party going on in there” so we went right.

James commented that the 3 pints and pack of scratchings came to £16. Fair play to Chris as he went up the bar and queried it. Turns out it is cheaper beer for members which is fair enough.

I had a ham cob which was priced at £1.55 and was ace. Chris commented afterwards that the blue bag it came in “looked like a dog poo bag.” He has such a way with words. I;m glad he told me this after I’d eaten though. It did get me thinking though, instead of hanging bags of shit on trees like some folk do, but instead hung ham cobs wouldn’t the world be a better place?

It was busy in our room but Chris mentioned that the other one was full of women. “So what are we doing in here?” I asked. We also talked crisps. It’s one of Chris’s favourite subjects. Although it was far too early to be festive as it was still mid November I did enthuse about the possibility of the Golden Wonder turkey and stuffing flavour that used to come out at Christmas coming back this year. I then told the anecdote about at a Northern January away game (I forget where) they were selling off cheap said crisps in the pub pre match. I had a pack then but after the game had the whole stock which was commented on heartily in the minibus. I think they lasted until March.

After a short while Chris announced the 2 minutes warning as he does ahead of every departure time. I asked for toilet directions and was provided with them. “How about if I take a wrong turn, end up in the room full of women and they make me stay?” I asked. “You never know” Chris replied “they might be waiting for a stripogram”. God imagine that. Actually don’t. I wouldn’t want to put that image in your head before breakfast of a Sunday morning. If I had done it though it would have put everyone heading to the buffet off the cocktail sausages. I didn’t take the wrong turn.

We walked to Pelsall. Storm Bert was still with us but his wind had calmed down to just the 16mph. Pelsall Cricket Club was next and I hadn’t even got through the door and I was being greeted by Helen Baker, one of the finest of my fellow Walsall FC fans. There was a Christmas Fayre going on with an outside Bavarian Bar and reindeer had just arrived. It was such a shame that the weather was absolute poo with wind and rain. Absolutely not Cricket weather.

I’d not been in The Railway since the long standing former gaffer (Tom?) left. It has nice new furniture and has had a lick of paint. All I Want For Christmas Is You was playing as we entered. Good job I was still feeling festive from the Cricket Club.

Chris had been on about beef and onion crisps all day and asking if I’d like some. I’d commented that it was highly unlikely as they’d been discontinued in 1980 (actually 1988 James found out). He then produced a pack from Ireland. I commented that you can’t smuggle your own crisps into pubs and that I wanted nothing to do with it for fear of being barred from everywhere in the vicinity under the Pelsall Pub Crisp Watch. I relented eventually.

Conversation in here was random from Chris claiming that the disproportionate amount of the different coloured sweets in Opal Fruits (as he and I still call them) is a scam through to James telling of a colleague that counts his Scampi Fries as he says he gets different amounts which James says is impossible due to them being sold by weight. Chris wondered how many Bacon Fries you got in a pack and I immediately thought he’ll have done a count somewhere by the next meet up.

The Queens is definitely the me pub of Pelsall. As I took the initial picture I didn’t notice the group in the doorway and the nice lady asked why I’d taken it. I told a complete lie and said I forget where I’ve been due to the booze and I like to keep a record. I don’t know why I just don’t like people to know I’m blogging. I really need more readers of this yet I don’t tell folk about it because I’m a nob. Imagine “oh you’re writing about a Pelsall pub crawl? I’d love to read that.” No, none of that ever happens. Bloody shyness. It was busy inside and free chicken drumsticks were on the bar which was very welcome. Music was good too. I’m sure Belinda Carlisle featured which is always welcome..

I mentioned about The Retro Realm (new arcade by Wharf Bar in Walsall Town Centre) opening on 6th of December and that I probably couldn’t go that weekend. This sparked a chat about retro games and we all agree that Paperboy is just the best game ever. I hope they have it in there complete with the handle bars like the old days.

Old House At Home was busy with diners so we sat in that little section next to the door which I’ve not been in before and we ended up at The Fingerpost. There was a dog sat at the bar which I fussed but it didn’t even look at me. I’m used to being ignored by the ladies but not dogs. Discussion in here was of retro sweets and my odd comment that I always buy white Bon Bons as it’s my favourite colour even though I prefer the yellow ones.

The day was rounded off with a visit to The Little Chippy which I’ve always wanted to tick off. Chris didn’t want his gravy so I wa given it. I know gravy on fish is frowned upon in some quarters but it’s sooo good and this was an excellent visit. Good food, friendly staff. Very easy on the pocket too as Chris paid. Top man.

Chris ordered an Uber and we were soon back in Walsall. They tried to get me to join them in the Wetherspoons but I was being good and ventured home, getting the early night I wanted to sleep the booze off.

Absolutely class day. This was my last blow out for a while so I’m glad it was a good un. Lots of busy places, friendly bar staff and as is the usual with Chris, crisps. Cheers James and Chris for a great day.

Maxy Tasty. 9 Bradford Street, Walsall. Reviewed 22/10/24.

It was post work on a Tuesday. I need to snack before starting the pre Walsall v Carlisle match drinking. I picked this place as I could amble down from work then head up Wednesbury Road to The Railway Club.

This has been open a while but I’d not been in. When I worked at Cardboard Boxes 2 Go on Queen Street, a colleague came here every dinnertime for chicken and chips so I sussed it was alright.

Service was friendly and quick. I went for a fish burger as I love a bit of cod. The meal deal came to £5 which was decent. There were a few other customers coming in and out and I didn’t know if this was due to proximity of bus stops or repeat customers. My food came quickly and I was heading upstairs.

The burger was really good. There was no music which I was fine with just the sounds of a busy venue. Place was clean too, emphasised by someone leaving adjacent to me and within 30 seconds a lad was up spraying and wiping the table and soon came back to sweep up.

Decent visit this and I can see why Ade was such a fan. I will come back and try the chicken one day soon. Although as I write this a month later, I haven’t.

Tiffany’s. 47 Albion Road, Willenhall. Reviewed 02/11/24.

There is a tradition in our family that dates back centuries that is on F.A Cup 1st round day you have to go out for a full English breakfast. I always keep this going. I’ve got to be honest, I’d never heard of this place until a saw a post on the Brownhills Bob Facebook group and the USP is that you can create your own breakfast from a a long list of options. As soon as I saw this I knew it was getting done, but it still took a couple of months to get around to it.

I find the 529 bus slightly more tolerable now that I don’t have to catch it at 6.40 every weekday morning to go to work and it was fine this time and I was soon in Willenhall.

I’m not sure why but I was slightly tentative as I asked “could I have the 10 item breakfast please?.” The lady serving was very friendly though and handed me a slip of paper and a pen for me to make my choices from the list of options on the note. It felt like I was voting in a kind of breakfast referendum. There should have been a wooden booth for me to go in to put my votes down.

I’d had the list up on my phone heading over. A few things were disregarded right away. Chips? I love chips but they don’t belong on a breakfast. Fried onions? I don’t have these on a hot dog so it’s not happening on breakfast. Smiley faces? No. Had they been miserable faces I may have been tempted as they would have been more in keeping with my general demeanour.

I made my choices and was almost apologetic upon heading over to the counter. “I’ve only got 9 items. Is that frowned upon?” “No, not at all” she replied “have an extra one of something you’ve already picked”. “Oh right. Another sausage then please.”. The breakfast was £9 and with a cup of tea it came to £10.20.

The cafe was doing a good trade. Every table was soon occupied. Background music was provided by Radio 1, a station I’ve not listened to since Scott Mills was moved off Drivetime in 2012. The only song I knew was Pon De Replay by Rihanna. Bit harsh playing a song about replays on F A Cup day now that they have been scrapped from the tournament.

The breakfast came quickly and it was magnificent. I only have scrambled eggs at home and I’m shit at making them but here they were divine. I was nervous about the battered black pudding and would it work but oh my God, yes it did.

This was a great visit. Food good, numerous members of staff emerged from the Kitchen and were friendly. The best compliment I can say about this place is it’s a good job I don’t live closer. My Doctor and Bank Manager would be fuming.

P.s you may have noticed I haven’t cracked the obvious Breakfast At Tiffany’s gag. 2 reasons for this. (1) I’ve not seen the film. (2) I absolutely hate the song. Cheers.

Pleck Balti. 303 Wednesbury Road, Pleck, Walsall. Reviewed 06/11/24

Josh and I had been on about going here for a while. I’d not been since the late 90’s and he’s been once or twice with his wife Lyndsey. We pass it regularly when we are on missions so it was about time we finally ventured in.

On the the morning at work I’d had a flashback to a recent trip to Shabab in Cannock and that was it. I was craving curry. Josh messaged at dinner time. “Pleck Balti tonight?” I swear that lad can read my mind.

I told my colleague Alex on the afternoon where I was going and he asked what I was having. I said “I don’t know but I’m just hoping they do a cheese naan.” “Not a Keema naan?” “I’ve never had one of those.” He was taken aback but said “it’s like fireworks in your mouth.” Well the day after Bonfire Night seemed like a good time for this to happen so it was motion carried.

I didn’t want to hang around for curry so we made it an early evening jobbie and arranged to meet there. As I left my house I asked if it might be worth asking our mate Asps as his office is in Wednesbury and he usually finishes around the time we were meeting. Josh posed the question and came back just as I was power marching down Corporation Street. I’m generally not a quick walker but this changes when beer or food is involved.

Josh came back saying Asps was up for it but not for another hour or so. He agreed to pick me up on Wednesbury Road and that we’d go and kill time somewhere.

I was just approaching the Pelican Crossing on Wednesbury Road when Josh drove past and he turned into Tasker Street. I crossed and was immediately joined by a prostitute. “Are you looking for business?” she asked. “no, I;m going for curry.” “Going for curry now?” “Nowish”. “Do you want business before your curry?” “It’s all about curry business tonight love.” I actually cringed as I said this. I’d now reached Tasker Street. Josh had turned round and parked up. A prostitute on the adjacent corner had clocked this and must have thought she was getting a fare. The look on her face as I strolled across the road and got in the car was something. We must have looked like a right pair of rent boys. Not many folk can make jumping into a bezzie mates car look so seedy. We left the ladies to go about their business and we roared off as quickly as the 20mph speed limit would allow.

Anyway, I digress. Asps was already there on arrival. Pleck Balti is not licensed. Regular readers will know that this is a big bug bear of mine but for once I wasn’t bothered. In all honesty I wanted a cup of tea having not had time for one upon getting home from work. I still maintain that I will never take my own booze but this time Josh popped to a local shop and grabbed a couple of Madri and handed me one.

They do a chicken tikka naan. Never heard of this so pounced on that along with a butter chicken main. Poppadoms were ordered but Asps only wanted one which I really couldn’t cope with. There was much catching up to be done and we had a great laugh and the food soon came out.

The butter chicken was great. The chicken tikka naan was ok. Not quite what I was expecting but all parts of the meal were demolished. The bill came and we went £15 each. Complimentary chocolates were provided which always earns extra points.

The lads enjoyed the visit. Josh’s feedback was “great food, amazing company” while Asps went for “great food, cheap as chips.” If you’re intrigued into what they had well I can’t help. I didn’t think to ask. I’m so rubbish at this reviewing lark. Jay Rayner I certainly am not.

Decent visit and we were all back home at a reasonable time. I had that cup of tea eventually.

Royal Lion, 22 Wallows Lane, Walsall. Reviewed 10/11/24

As mentioned in last Sunday’s blog, my mate Paul recently crashed at mine and during our discussions beforehand he asked about Sunday morning breakfast. I asked would he come and review somewhere sexy? and he replied saying he likes sexy, so I earmarked this place.

Royal Lion is situated in what was the King George V pub by Fellows Park (Mozza’s if you were born after the 1980s). It opens at 8am everyday even Sunday which was handy as Paul had a train back up North to catch.

The layout is exactly the same as when it was the pub. When sitting I pointed out where The Crystal Maze machine used to be. Paul commented that I had a look of Richard O’Brien about me. Man if I had just an ounce of that bloke’s creativity I’d be delighted.

I’d shown Paul the breakfast menu the day before and we both knew what we wanted. Royal Full English no tomato or mushroom for me and a Mozart Omelette for Paul. His omelette contains ham, garlic, spinach and cheese served with homemade Focaccia. See I can do details occasionally but it helps that I still have a picture of the menu on my phone.

It didn’t take long for the food to come out, but long enough for me to crack a “your omelette must be taking some composing” gag. I did try my hardest not to say this but it had been eating away at me since he announced his choice the day before.

Food came and the items I didn’t want had been swapped for additional goodness of the other items. My toast was not cut in half which earned bonus points. Any work colleague who has seen me at dinner time over the past 34 years will testify that I do not cut sandwiches in half so it was good to find somewhere with the same principles.

We also got a free bottle of water. I waited and waited for Paul to crack it open but no. It had one of those bottle tops that you get (used to get?) with Grolsch. I clearly am,not a drinker of this and it showed. It felt like I was on The Crystal Maze and Paul should have started whistling the theme to set the scene. He helped me open it in the end. I don’t do technology, even fancy bottle tops.

My breakfast was ace. Loved it. Paul said his omelette was well composed and hit the right notes. It was a good visit. No music but two tv screens had Sky Sports News on.

You can tell it was the George although the decor has had a complete transformation. There was excitement in the toilet as the mirror has a sensor that you can touch to light up the surround. I did this three or four times. Sometimes I do do technology.

The bill puzzled me as it seemed cheap but the waiter explained that hot drinks are free with breakfast which was nice. Friendly place, excellent food and I might do it again before a Saturday home game.

About a month ago my mate Gareth from Newport (the Welsh one) arranged a visit to Walsall. I hadn’t seen him for a couple of years so was well up for the meet which we scheduled for last Saturday after the Walsall v Gillingham match. Because we are so damn good at the moment we had a few international call ups so the match was called off which mean I could meet up earlier.

There was the added bonus of Gareth bringing his new lady Tina who I’d not met before. My first interaction with Tina was the Monday before on a video call, except because I’m an old man I didn’t initially realise it was a video call and put the phone to the side of my head. Only when Gareth said “what am I looking at?” that I realised. It’s a good job I keep my ears scrupulously clear of hairs.

On the morning I started with breakfast at The Walsall Arms. I don’t want to say I was gagging for this but I was already outside when the door opened at 10. It was served quickly and as I started to tuck in, Jodi appeared behind the bar brandishing a remote control and asking if there was anything I wanted to watch. I immediately thought that I need to finish watching series 2 of True Blood but this may not have been suitable viewing for the two children in the vicinity plus I had neither the time nor the budget for sitting in there for 8 hours watching the antics of Sookie Stackhouse so I just said “anything is fine.”

Breakfast was bang on again, Wayne the chef just nails it. He gets the bacon right every time. I can cook a mean English breakfast but never get the bacon right. I asked Jodi if Wayne, her husband is available to do home visit bacon cooking. There could be a money making app in this.

Back home and today’s shirt ironing song was Do You Know? by Enrique. I’m not just about the cook Indie music. I genuinely love this song and the line “do you know how it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?” always reminds me of my last job at Cardboard Boxes 2 Go. In my current job at The Manor Hospital I generally arrive 20 minutes before I start but at the last place I’d always be rocking up with just a minute or so to spare to clock in. One day I couldn’t get in and I was the only person that they hadn’t told that the combination on the front door had changed. I eventually got in but I should have gone home on full pay.

The weather was absolute poo so upon departing I gave a debut to the coat Asps gave me for my birthday. I should have got a picture of me in it for your delectation but I was too excited. Anyway we were meeting up in The Registry and I strolled up to the bar. Someone came up alongside me and asked “are you going to the match?” I had a split second moment of panic. Had I got the date wrong? I said “no, it’s off today.” “Because of the rain?” “No, international call ups.” “Oh, of course yeah I forgot.” Phew.

Gareth and Tina were already in so I found them and we were quickly joined by Swill as well. He was sporting an umbrella so I immediately opened a sweepstake as to when he would lose this as he is renowned for getting through umbrellas. Sadly for Swill homing umbrellas aren’t a thing yet.

The conversation opened and within minutes Swill had steered us onto poo anecdotes. One of his favourite topics. Much hilarity ensued.

We were soon joined by Dan (Morty) and after a short while we headed to The Tap & Tanner. My round and I got served quickly. I asked around and Gareth and Tina both wanted Inch’s so naturally I had a smirk on my face when asking the barmaid for 2 Inch’s. Swill chipped in “Evo likes 2 inches.” The round came to £24 which I was shocked at. Normally I let things slide but for once I queried. She’d charged me for an additional Amstel so knocked £4 off which made me happy. I also had a £2 ham and salad cob, commenting that the salad was putting me off. “Oh it’s easy to get rid of it, it’s not touching the meat”. I’m easily confused and this did me. Turned out it was wrapped separately at the top which surprised me when unwrapping but the ham was good.

Discussions in here included would you do….for£xx? type questions. Turns out I have a low threshold for this kind of thing. I’m a poor man, generally always short of cash so I’d do most things for cash, legally of course. The other discussion was where o go next. Swill said “we could go next door, it’s like a Wetherspoons.” “Like a Wetherspoons?” queried Gareth “so it’s a Wetherspoons?” “Er yeah.”None of us have an issue with Wetherspoons so off to St Matthews Hall it was.

We sat in the Library section. I noted the Managers Special leaflet on the table which was offering Maple Bacon Salad, as it had been on the Monday when I was in for the Friends Of Highgate Brewery monthly meet up. Walsall is clearly not a hotbad of salad as I’ demonstrated in The Tap. If Wayne from the Walsall Arms had been cooking the bacon they might have shifted a few more bowls of it.

It was soon decision time again. Stay for one more or head to Katz. Discussions didn’t really solve it so I proposed a secret ballot. We all covered our eyes and raised our hands to which option we preferred. Obviously as it was done in secret we had no idea of the result so we just headed to Katz.

En route we mentioned The Hippo to Tina, and as it was her first visit to Walsall she had to be introduced. I explained when it was unveiled and where it used to be and how back in the day it was were you’d meet your mates. Like most Walsall folks though I couldn’t answer the question “why have you got a concrete hippo?”

We made it to Katz, there was a band on so we sat outside as the bar area was full. I noticed Swill still had his umbrella. It had made it to pub number 4. Surely a personal best. We were joined by Goughy and Harriet along with Whelan and Beth. Morty was the first to disappear, followed shortly afterwards by Gareth and Tine who were staying at The Lyndon but Gareth needed a Wishbone takeaway like he used to when he lived up here.

I lasted until about 10. To look cool I said I was going to Walsall Arms to break up the joourney home but in truth I’d had enough to drink and just went home.

Great day with top company. Swill’s umbrella didn’t make it home.

Last Saturday it was Walsall v Crewe at Bescot. A match that always sticks out to Saddlers of a certain age and to mark this my old mate Paul Mitchell came down from Bingley to drink beer, watch footie and the great band 5th Chapter then crash at my house. He is my 5th longest standing friend having got chatting to him outside the club shop at Doncaster (a) in 1992. Myself, him and his now wife Cara shared a flat in Hawes Close back in the 90’s before they moved up north but this would be the first time he’d set foot in one of my gaffs since going solo.

He turned up bang on time but I’d forgotten to tell him the bell doesn’t work so eventually he knocked and got in. His first comment was he could tell the house was mine as it’s “very Walsall.” I’ll take that.

We headed to Walsall Arms. Asps was already there having gone early to take advantage of the full English breakfast and pint for £10 deal. We timed our run superbly arriving just as he was up the bar. He got himself an ale along with Oakham “Citra” (me) and Titanic “Plum Porter” (Paul) then we were seated.

Those pints went down well and it was my turn to purchase and just as I approached the bar on came Everlasting Love by Love Affair. I was trying to save my singing voice for the match and live music on the night but this is just one of the best songs ever and I had to give it portions. When I finally meet Mrs Right, that is going to be our song.

Before departing we all visited the loo. Paul commented that it looked a bit suspicious and it probably didn’t help that the capacity of the toilets in there is 3. Two standing and one seated but we had to go.

Next up was Katz and this was busy with fellow Saddlers including Tomo and Sue, Micky Lees, Neil Adams and Marvellous Matt Stacky. It was ace but after a short while there was an exodus to go to Railway Club in Pleck but me and Paul opted to stay put. Asps grabbed a sausage roll and also bought one for me and Paul to share which was unexpected but went down a storm with both of us.

Upon departure Matt gave both of us a Cadbury’s Chocolate Eclair sweet. I eventually popped mine in my mouth just as Paul was looking at Ubers. Suddenly he said the Uber was 2 minutes away. I had to neck a third of a pint with the sweet still in mouth which was a strange beery and chocolate experience. Then I had to say goodbyes and run upstairs to the loo. I eventually got in the car. I still had the Eclair in my mouth. They certainly don’t diminish quickly.

I had a rant in Palfrey at a house with a big Father Christmas outside (it was 9th of November so totally justified) but soon we were on Bescot Crescent. At the retail park the traffic was stationary so Paul told the driver that we would get out there so he could turn round. We got out, he didn’t turn round. Instead he sped off down the now clear road in front of him while we started the additional 10,000 steps that had now been added to our day.

The crowd at the match was just over 8000 which I think is the biggest for a league game in years. The ref was shit and bought into all of their coffee house tricks of the opposition. I think if one of our players had farted in a Crewe players direction he would have awarded them a free kick and reached for a card. They took the lead. Don’t ask for a description I was still in the bar even though I wasn’t drinking. Well, I say that but I’d have had a coffee had the vending machine been working.

I was in the stand for our equaliser. We could have nicked it, the ref must have been on a promise as he didn’t add on any additional time despite numerous stoppages during injury time. The draw was probably a fair result but it was nice to see the ground so busy and I got nowhere near my season ticket seat. Saying that though I don’t get near it when the crowd is low, and I don’t even know which seat it is. I know the row so I’m awarding myself a point for that.

I headed to The Locker to meet Paul who had been in the upper tier in the ground. For some reason there was only 3 lights on, at the other end of the room to where we were and we could hardly see a bloody thing. Guys we’ve just had a big crowd you can afford to put more lights on. Paul spotted that I somehow had an ant on my head, which he blew off. Crack your own jokes, I’m not that puerile.

The DJ was in excellent form and it was a good atmosphere. The DJ who took mine and Liam’s picture in The Crown for the recent Willenhall blog was in and he came to say hello. Chuffed that he remembered me after that one off meeting and recognised me amongst the gloom.

It was soon Uber time again. Paul found one that wanted to pick us up on the Broadway – quite the stroll from where we were. “Say it doesn’t work like George” was my response. True though, it would have been far quicker for him to drive down as the traffic was now clearing, unless he wanted to charge a waiting fee. We declined him and found one who would pick us up from outside. Things you have to be grateful for nowadays eh?

We went back to mine so Paul could change then walked to Walsall Arms with me getting a drive by “Evoooooo” on Pool Street from Laura and Pezza who had just had a successful mission at Danny’s Chicken.

We met Kay and Simon in there, had a couple of beers then made our own visit to Danny’s. Paul was not happy that paying by card isn’t an option in there. The line “cash is King” is not in Paul’s vocabulary as it is with most people. He proper grumbled at having to use the in store cash point. Pez and Laura had done a job. They must had cleaned the place out as we had to wait for food but we didn’t mind. I had a chicken burger which was epic and one piece of chicken. It’s such a good place this.

We ambled down to The Watering Trough. Landlady Angie was on and declared that she loves me as I walked up the bar. Nice welcome. She then told me to try the Mild. I’m not really a Mild drinker but it was a decent pint.

We were there to watch the band 5th Chapter featuring fellow Walsall FC fan Martin Key on bass guitar. I’ve seen them twice before, never sober and I wasn’t exactly that at this juncture either but for once I was going to see the whole set having got there late the other two times.

A few other Walsall fans were in so it was another good crowd. 5th Chapter do covers of great songs and lead guitarist and singer Ellie nails them. We had classics like All The Small Things, I Predict A Riot, Teenage Kicks, Naive and Are You Gonna Be My Girl?

During the interval I nipped to the loo and was was joined at the urinals by a lad who struck up conversation saying he’s from Birmingham and that Walsall is amazing. Naturally I agreed post haste. There was some context as to how he had come to this conclusion but I cannot remember it for the life of me. Sorry. I don’t minute everything that goes on during my days.

Set 2 began with 20th Century Boy, a song which I always thought began with the line “Wednesday’s fine, Wednesday’s good.” Fortunately I recently heard the Placebo version and clocked what it actually is. It was nice to sing it correctly or everyone in the pub would have pointed and stared.

More goodness followed in the form of Not 19 Forever, and one of my favourite Beatles songs Twist & Shout. The encore was held up by the drummer disappearing with someone shouting “he’s gone for a shit”. He returned, Ellie declared “he’s finished his shit” which got a big cheer. Final song was Chelsea Dagger, which is an epic way to round off any night.

Cracking evening, band was ace, Ellie was on good form interacting withe audience including telling Paul to “fuck off back to Bradford” when he gave banter. Song of the night was a magnificent rendition of Basket Case.

Class day, with great people.