Evo Boozy Scribbler

Last Saturday there was a Friends Of Highgate Brewery coach trip to Preston. I’d not been there since 2014 so wanted in. On that occasion it was Mark Cassell’s stag do. Walsall were away there and beer flowed. It was already 1-1 in the match when we eventually left the nearby pub. After the match the plan was to have a couple of pints then head back to Blackpool where our hotel rooms were booked. However instead we stopped at every pub between Deepdale and the railway station. The rule that you cannot pass a pub certainly came into play that day and it was magnificent. We finally made it to Blackpool just before midnight and I nearly pulled in one of the two pubs that we manged there. It was a superb day so when this coach trip was announced it was a straight case of take my money.

First job upon stepping off the coach was to clear out my coat pocket of losing McDonald’s Monopoly stickers after I’d sorted them from the instant win ones in my wallet. If anyone in the Preston area needs a Park Lane to win £100k, there are 4 of them in the bin by The Twelve Tellers.

We’d been given maps and pub guides on the way up and the only must visit for me was Vinyl Tap described as a music themed pub with 5 real ales, food and live entertainment. Win win win. However upon checking the map it looked the furthest out of town so I disregarded it. More on that later.

First pub was Black Horse. I’d mentioned to legendary blogger Blackpool Jane about the trip, she came to meet us and was waiting in here. You can catch her excellent blog here. This pub is grade II listed and has numerous rooms. I ordered Robinson’s Amarillo Pale Ale which was described as zesty and vibrant. The friendly barmaid explained it was a bit lively. I joked that it did say vibrant in the bio. She game me a bit more in a separate glass to make up for the head which was very decent of her. Naturally I explored all the rooms and it was easy to see why this is the local CAMRA branche’s Pub Of The Year twice on the bounce.

The sizeable group in there became a smaller faction of Bob, Steve Jane and I and next up was Plau which is a bar on one level and Tapas House on the other. I explored again finding a dining room at the back and a very Victorian style toilet cubicle upstairs which looked very ornate. I didn’t check out the tapas area as I’d already got my steps in for the day and there was beer to drank. The barman was very friendly but the till is up a set of stairs from the bar which I’ve never seen before. I wouldn’t last a shift with that set up. We found out afterwards that there is also a “Gay Cellar” but I missed that when I was exploring. Shame as I’ve been playing Oh L’amour by Erasure a lot of late and I’d have certainly asked for that.

Stop 3 was Chain House, a pub with it’s own brewery in house. Discussions in here included Steve asking if we remembered a famous beef burger advert, which turned out to be the Accrington Stanley milk one.

There were two toilets, both with descriptions on the door as to what lay behind. The first door said one accessible toilet. I quite liked the thought of the other door having an inaccessible toilet that maybe you have to climb over a wall or something to get to. One man opened this door, clearly didn’t like the content so opted for the other. I later checked this out and it had a proper toilet right next to a urinal, with no dividing column. A bit like The R1 Bar in Walsall used to have. So you can have a dump while your mate has a piss and catch up on some gossip while in there.

Jane asked if I had any must do pub today and I just mentioned Vinyl Tap. She deduced that it was only five minutes walk away but as we reached this place we’d bumped into a group who had just been and reported it as closed. Eventually we found out online that it opened at 2. It was now 1.30. Steve kept ringing the number to check but had no joy. He opted not to risk it as we set off at 2 and he stayed put for another.

On the way we came across an erect ladder. Bob and Jane just marched under it but I hesitated. There were vans parked up so it would have meant walking into the road to get around. I decided that I’d had plenty of bad luck in my life so a bit more wouldn’t hurt so I walked beneath. Soon after we met another couple of lads who had also waited until 2 for the Vinyl Tap but had said it was still closed. I blamed myself for the ladder.

We headed back more central. Jane ventured into Plau to check out the gay cellar but quickly came back saying that she couldn’t even see the beer pulls as it was just a sea of men. Next up was Plug & Taps. Acquiesce my favourite Oasis song came on just as I entered which was nice. We timed our run to get here perfectly as we got served straight away but soon the queue was back to the door. The music was good throughout as Happy Mondays and Supergrass also featured. However the highlight here was the sign in the unisex toilet. I was still beaming at it when I came out, and Jane asked why. She’d missed it on her visit but went back in to check it out and it was worth her while.

We needed to head to the the market place next. On a bench are statues of Wallace and Gromit. Naturally I had to pose for a picture with them and recreated the walk from The Wrong Trousers as I left. I didn’t know that their creator was from Preston which I assume is why the naughty dog in A Close Shave has that name.

Penultimate port of call was Orchard. This is small and was very busy but we found the sole available table and got round it. Steve was the star of the show in here with hilarious anecdotes from his past.

Last up was Guild Ale House. We grabbed beers and I enquired about crisps and the barman relayed several flavours but black pudding jumped out at me. Not had that flavour before. Turns out they were black pudding and mustard and the m word was not referenced at the point of purchase, and this was the strong flavour but they were still good. Despite being English with a French granddad I don’t do mustard. I might have to start.

We headed upstairs and joined Dennis and Keith but before long it was departure time. We said goodbye to Jane (isn’t that a Slade song?) who was heading back to Blackpool but it was so good to see her. I boarded the coach and immediately checked the Walsall score to find out that we were 3-0 up at Grimsby. The coach was late departing and by the time it did we had won 4-1. Happy days to quote my great mate Josh.

As is tradition we stopped at The Holy Inadequate in Stoke on the way back. Apologies for the lack of pub exterior photo but last time I was fannying around taking shots and then of course was back of the queue with everyone off the coach. There was also a load of passing rugby fans in there along with the locals. This time I was third through the door and served straight away. By the time the queue died down I reckoned I could get another pint in before departure and threw in a pork pie too to make it worth paying by card.

We were soon back in Walsall. There was a great band on in Katz that I’ve seen twice before but opted not to go as I’m doing go sober for October. If you’re not familiar with this it’s a challenge and you’re not allowed to get drunk this month. I figured a few more pints would have me edging towards that kind of level so I opted to be a good boy and I was home in time for the Consumer Hour on LBC. Marvellous day.

When the Walsall v Bromley match on October 12th was called off due to international call ups, I thought I’d use that now free time very wisely. Let’s go on a pub crawl of Willenhall as I’ve not done this in a few years. I messaged my mate and former SciChem colleague Liam who lives that way and he said he could only do the Friday. No probs there, Friday night it is.

I thought I’d experiment with a short cut leaving work. I turned left at the end of the West Wing and exited the building opposite the new A&E. I’ve not used this exit before so it was very exciting.

I must say the pavement heading away is shocking but I didn’t clock this until I nearly went over on my ankle. Thankfully I didn’t need a closer look at A&E and quickly continued. I headed down Forrester Street and it brought me out by the 529 bus stop. For once a plan had worked. I was en route and it was only 4.42pm. I then remembered that I wasn’t meeting Liam until 7. I should have taken a long cut instead.

To kill time I went in McDonalds on the edge of Willenhall. Routine visit but my Mozzarella Dippers didn’t have the two Monopoly stickers on that they should have done. This could have been my Mayfair getting moment. I was going to have the place up but I had Mozzarella Dippers to eat so just sat down and shut up.

I walked from there into Wilenhall. I didn’t know that The Oak had closed, but was aware The Prince Of Wales had and that looked a sorry sight. I still had plenty of time so decided to go exploring the back streets, mainly as I wanted to check where Ring O Bells is as despite having gone there before I wasn’t too sure.

Then I got a message off Liam, he was somewhat early. 40 minutes so to be precise. He was 5 minutes away so I quit the exploring and soon we were in The County, the first of 6 pubs on the to do list.

I’ve not had beer with Liam since September 2021 which looking back was the start time of my big 6 month downer which took over my life. I did mention this but quickly pointed out that supping with him didn’t cause the downer. First discussion was the usual “who are you still in touch with from SciChem?” Nobody really on his part where I’ve still got a few pals from there.

The pub was busy, there was a DJ deck set up in there which I’ve not known in this pub before. Music was mixed but generally ok. We weren’t there long and as we departed people were jumping into our graves before I’d finished pushing my chair in. Good to see the place so busy.

The Royal George was next. This had the biggest Madri banner I’d ever seen outside. It was mossiv. Inside Liam got the round and I had Madri. The advertising had clearly done a job. Another busy pub and it was absolute standing room only. I’ve seen a few things on Twitter on how the pub scene is dying but the first two boozers were offering plenty to the contrary.

Next up was The Three Crowns. A pub I’ve been in before but up the top of the market so usually missed off on pub crawls. It roared back onto my radar when we had a Friends pf Highgate Brewery social there for the first time in August. The beer was great, dtaff and locals were friendly and they even put a buffet on for us. I had a nice chat with the landlords mom as I was leaving and I promised I’d be back and I like to think I keep my promises. Only took 2 months too, much quicker than my usual return visits.

This was a new one on Liam. He’s walked past it lots but never fancied it but he hadn’t even got through the door and he spotted Forged Irish Stout on the bar, he was sold immediately. I went for Yorkshire Pale Ale, but I didn’t note the brewery. It was served in a glass with finger groves built in. I only know of these previously from very short lived Bud Silver bottles around 2006.

The beer was so good on both of our parts and they didn’t last long. We had finished our pints in pub no 3 and it was only 7.43. Needless to say a motion to stay for a second was quickly proposed, seconded and passed unanimously.

The music was really good. On came one of my all time faves, Set You Free by N-Trance. I immediately sounded the “Song Of The Night” award klaxon. Next up was Vengabus by Vengaboys. Liam called this for the award. I countered that we couldn’t both have a song for this and that we needed an absolute banger to unify the titles. I half expected Eddie Hearn to walk in at this point as he loves a unification bout.

Next up was The Workers Rest. I was worried that this had closed as it hadn’t come up on my Pubs Galore search on the dinner break. Liam said it was now called The Loft and was just two minutes away and he was not lying on either count.

I love this pub. Probably the most me pub in Willenhall. It was busy and karaoke was on. We sat where we could see the performers and I told Liam of my internet based search for a lady, including e-harmony which has been a failure so far and then Facebook Dating which has been somewhat more interesting. I still think I need to grow a pair and actually chat up a lass in a pub. I need a night on the pull as I we used to say back in the 90’s.

Ring O Bells was next, Liam guided us there but it was in darkness and we just stood there looking it at for a few seconds. Then I heard a noise. It sounded like the door was being unlocked. Was this a new kind of pub which looks closed but they are observing from inside and let you in if they like the look of you?

The door opened and a man appeared. “Are you open?” asked Liam. “No, we’re closed.” “Permanently?” I asked. I’m not one for joining in conversations but this was desperate times. “No, just for tonight. Back open tomorrow.” He shut the door behind him and wandered off down the street. The Crown then.

The Crown is a great pub. Nice corner building and usually my last or penultimate pub due to its closeness to the 529 stop. It was karaoke in here too but the in between music was 80’s. On came Candy by Cameo. I yelled “this is our unification song of the night.” Liam claimed that he didn’t know it. To try and swing it I even joined in with the line “I toss and turn in my bed in the morning when I think about you” although I was at pains to point out that I was singing this at him and not to him. He made a further claim that he’d never heard it before. Bloody youngsters. We didn’t manage to unify the titles.

We had a couple of beers and obligatory photos in here. We asked the karaoke man to take the one shot and he said my bald heads was affecting the lighting. This brought back memories of when I appeared on the ITV Sport Channel quiz Do I Not Know That? back in 2001. On that occasion the floor manager strode over and put make up on my head citing that it was causing a glare in the lights.

Liam crashed us both a pack of pork scratchings (most of which were eaten on the way to The Walsall Arms for breakfast the following morning) with the last round, and I then got a taxi home. Epic night, and I thinkwe’ll do it again, even if it’s just Ring O Bells. We aint leaving it 3 years again though Liam.

Thanks to everyone who read last weeks blog. I needed and enjoyed the break but it’s nice to be back writing again. And you know I love writing about food so here goes.

Spice Hut, 24 Bradford Street, Walsall.

It was August 28th, the town of Walsall was gripped with League Cup 3rd round draw excitement as we waited to find out who our team would get. The draw was scheduled for 22.15 (eventually happened at 22.45) so to kill a bit of time before this I went to see if the extended Heron in the Saddlers Centre had reopened. Upon reaching the car park of said centre I looked across and saw the balloon arch outside here and thought this reopening was more exciting. On my penultimate food review blog I was on about how the former Kebab Ranch had a new name just before Easter. Well now it has another moniker. Changed it’s name more times than Cheryl Tweedy this place.

I walked in and looked up at the menu but then a nice man rushed out and handed me a paper copy which I could sit down and peruse. I thought with a name like Spice Hut it would do curry but no. The spices didn’t stretch that far.

They do smash burgers. I have no idea what these are, I’m intrigued but always too scared to ask. I opted for 8 peri chicken wings and peri fries. There must have been an opening day offer on as he charged me less than the peri wings should have been.

They didn’t hang about with the food and I even got an apology for them being served in a box and an explanation that they had been let down with their plates delivery. I did think that they could have nipped to one of the local Greek restaurants, and borrowed some of their plates to save them from a sad demise but didn’t mention this as I had food to demolish.

The chicken wings were amazing. Service was very friendly, he’d rushed to bring me bottles of sauce even though I didn’t want or ask for them but it was a nice touch. There was no music which I was fine with.

I popped to Heron afterwards and it hadn’t reopened but it had by the next day and now it serves booze. Extended it to get a beer fridge in. See, not every development these days is rubbish. Anyway, top marks to Spice Hut and as I pass it on the way home from work I’ll be back.

Bun & Peri, 269 Wednesbury Road, Walsall.

I had a little spare time post work and pre Walsall v Fleetwood match and needed to line the stomach. I’d been craving Wotsits all day but didn’t think a pack of those would soak up the beer so went for food. I’m currently just Mayfair short of winning £100k on McDonald’s Monopoly but opted against trying to glean that and headed to Pleck instead.

Completely new tick this one. Smash burgers available. I was scared to ask again. I will have one one day I promise. I opted for a peri chicken burger (no lettuce). Medium spice wasn’t listed as an option so just to be awkward I asked if I cold have it and he said yes. I also asked what Ghetto Niblets were. “Spicy” came the reply. Sod it, I’ll try them.

I sat down facing the window and played my freshly invented game of guessing which passing cars were heading to the match and which were looking for prostitutes. The food didn’t take long to come and the burger was good and the Ghetto Niblets were epic. Spicy yes, nose running spicy in fact.

No music, save for a bit from a fellow customer who had remembered his mobile but forgotten his headphones.

Good visit this but in hindsight with the match being such a disaster (we lost 6-2) I maybe should have skipped the food and just started drinking. I finally had the pack of Wotsits 2 days later.

Brownhills Cafe & Grill, 34 High Street, Brownhills.

I think this is quite new having seen it on the Brownhills Bob Facebook group so I jumped on the number 10 and headed over.

There is a menu in the window so I gave that a gander. There are 11 set breakfast options, with more permutations underneath. Mavis from Open All Hours would be in her element deciding what to have. To be far, it was to early for me to even consider making such an important decision so I opted for one which required minimal “no…” requests.

I marched in and asked for “set breakfast 1 with no mushrooms please.” “Do you want anything else instead?” I like it when this is allowed so requested black pudding which was fine. They young lady serving was very friendly and pleasant and the tip tray on the counters seemed to be doing good business so others ms have thought so too.

I studied the menu more while waiting and it turns out that you can make two swoops on the set breakfast. Sense. They do a Bounty milkshake, and a hot chocolate with cream and a Flake. Ok, you got me. I’m definitely coming back for one of those.

Food came quickly and I’d got two slices of black pudding and the toast was cut horizontally which earns many bonus points. More cafes should do this.

Breakfast was ace and it was £8.50 for it and a mug of tea. Once finished I relaxed for a couple of ,minutes but the picture of the hot chocolate kept winking at me. For once I’d got time on my hands and as it’s now October, the first month of the year where you are legally allowed to drink hot chocolate I had one. And it was ace.

There is one unisex toilet, located up the back passage. Music was Absolute Radio which suited me but not at an intrusive level. Highlight was Snap Out Of It by Arctic Monkeys.

Very pleasant visit this. I’m already looking forward to that Bounty milkshake on my next visit.

Project Bun, 23 Caldmore Green, Walsall.

It was last Sunday. It was wet but I still fancied getting a review in so I donned appropriate clothing and headed into Caldmore.

This place opened on the 30th August and I passed it on the bus a couple of days before and spotted the sign and 50% off offer on opening night. Opening night though I was at Josh’s eating a massive home cooked mixed grill so it’s taken until now for me to tick it off.

It’s very smart inside. Lots of tables and you have to walk passed a row of 9 circular mirrors to reach the counter. So if your hair looks rubbish as you walk in, you have 8 more mirrors to perfect it before ordering.

I was intrigued by the Game Changer Fries. These came with in house spicy sauce topped with parsley. I’m a sucker for a good name and this one worked for me. I hope you’re sitting down for this but I ordered a Smash Burger (no lettuce). This came witch cheese and Hannibal Sauce. Service was very friendly and the lady advised if I had a drink it would work out the same price. I don’t drink pop anymore but requested Pepsi Max thinking all the other cans of pop in my fridge could use a new friend.

The music was low and it was all unfamiliar. I wasn’t sure if one song was a Craig David track that I didn’t know or if it was somebody trying to sound like Craig David, whilst singing a track I didn’t know.

Food came quickly and the burger was good. The fries though? Deffo game changer. I’ve not had fries with sauce like that, it had a kick. At the risk of sounding like the advert I had to reach for the Pepsi Max. Apologies to the cans in my fridge. Your new friend isn’t coming home.

Nice visit this. Not sure about future visits as it’s in a part of Caldmore that I don’t really ever walk through but I certainly aint ruling it out. Can I be totally honest at this point? Despite having one, I still don’t know what a Smash Burger is. Everyday isn’t a school day in my life.

Uncle Phil’s, 498- 500 Pleck Road, Walsall.

Formerly Mother Hubbard’s which I liked but it didn’t last long as that and now Uncle Phil’s – Fresh Taste Of Bel Air. If you Google it, it comes up as Walsall’s best chippy but it’s not like a normal chip shop as it only does fish and chips of the standard fayre. So if want a battered jumbo sausage you’ll be out of luck.

This was another straight from work jobbie on Thursday this week, and walk able from the Manor Hospital so had to be re-ticked.

For once I’d done my research before and checked out the menu online. They do a “super jumbo” fish and chips which costs £19.95 which they say feeds up to 4. I went for the large at £11.95, I also had curry sauce which brought it up to £13 something (I wasn’t listening to be honest).

She advised it would be 15 minutes which was fine. Gave me time to study the menu and decor. They do Philly’s Phinest which is a massive locking baton with rib eye steak and cheese sauce which looks amazing. A sign on the wall asks which 9 letter word means perfection? Fish & chips. Quirky but I’m not sure that Susie Dent would be allowing it on Countdown.

The fish was epic. Chips were ok but Uncle Phil if you’re reading if you could introduce Black Country Gold i.e orange battered chips, then yeah the best chippy claim would have more legs. The curry sauce was good but needed to be bigger. They did provide two other pots of sauce, the spicy mayo being good.

I didn’t know what the music was but it was low so not a problem. This was a decent visit. I love fish so it wasn’t going to be rubbish. It’s open until 2am on Friday and Saturdays and 1am the others. Good job this wasn’t here back around the Millenium when I used to walk from The Fitters Arms (near the Arboretum), via Pleck Road back to Darlaston. I’d have been a regular. I won’t be a regular now to be honest but it’s certainly likely to be revisited ahead of a Tuesday night game or two.

Apologies for the lack of Fresh Prince Of Bel Air references. I only watched it once and that was decades ago.

Last Friday didn’t start well. The plan was to take clothes to work so I could get changed there and head straight out. It was pissing down. I wasn’t carrying a shirt on a coat hanger in the rain. Plan b was quickly concocted. I’d taxi home after work and get changed here. What could go wrong? Like most things in my life, everything. More on that later.

I’d ironed my shirt the night before and I know you’re always interested in my choice of music whilst doing this. I opted for Janie’s Got A Gun by Aerosmith. There is a backstory. I’d being playing this song a lot of late then one day on my eharmony (dating website) feed a lady with that name appeared. I messaged, but didn’t ask if she’d got a gun. I was going to casually raise this on the first date. She didn’t reply so I’ll never know if she’s got one or not.

I digress. For plan b to work I just needed some pounds for the taxi fare. I got to work and the cash machine was out of order. Marvellous. The day was in ruins and it wasn’t yet 07.30. I know you’re all now shouting “Uber” but I aint got shit like that on my phone. This is me we are on about. However during the morning discussions I got confirmed that the shop on Ida Road has a cash machine, so a quick dash at dinner times and the plans were back on. I even rewarded myself on a successful mission with a sausage roll. More on Ida Road soon, possibly even in the next paragraph.

I don’t get taxis home often and when I do I don’t like to keep them waiting. My department is right at the back of the Manor Hospital so I order when I’m halfway towards the main entrance. This time though I had the best idea ever. Why don’t I ask the taxi to come to the back of the hospital and pick me up on Ida Road? I can order the taxi straight away and this will save me lots of time.

I ordered the taxi, re-iterated twice I was at the 2nd Ida Road gate and waited. And waited. Eventually I get a call. He was at the front entrance and couldn’t quite get that I was at the other end. Eventually he asks “are you going to walk through” but before I could say “George, it would be quicker for you to drive round” he hung up on me.

I waited and waited then I get another call, this time from the first man. I explained again where I was and eventually my taxi came. I didn’t know this but there was a small closure on Ida Road so we had to go down three speed bump filled streets before reappearing back on Ida Road just down from where he had picked me up. Finally, 29 minutes after I finished work, my taxi crossed Pleck Road (main road outside the hospital). I’d have been nearly home had I walked.

No further hitches occurred and I was back in town and heading for the railway station in no time. It was Sean’s birthday celebrations (part 1) and I was meeting him and Sammy and some others in Birmingham. It all went well in the end and my train pulled in just as Sean’s taxi was arriving. He asked me to wait outside the Wetherspoons at the station, knowing full well I approve of pubs as geographical reference points.

Sean arrived, coming in through an entrance I didn’t know about and announcing that he’d run up the steps like Rocky Balboa. I said that I probably wouldn’t be doing the same later. First up was Sunflower Lounge on nearby Smallbrook Queensway. Never heard of this place so it was nice to get a new tick. I greeted Sammy and was introduced to Zoey, Drew, Clare and Connor. Turned out that I’d been introduced to Zoey and Drew at Sean’s bands recent gig at The Watering Trough, but I was somewhat drunk when that happened and this was referenced by Zoey and Sammy which made me laugh. I vaguely remembered meeting people at that juncture but Sammy could have introduced me to Patsy Kensit that night and it probably wouldn’t have registered.

Sean tried to take a group selfie but a passing lady stopped and offered to take it. Noticing his birthday badge she commented that it was her birthday on the Sunday which Sean then remarked was also his. She loved this, took the picture then rushed to buy Sean a birthday shot. Impressive 5 minute cameo from the lass. I made a mental note to try and find her ahead of my 51st birthday next year.

Inspired by Sean’s shot, Zoey leapt up and bought us all a Fireball. It was 19.09. I thought the night might get messy but wasn’t expecting shots this early. It was good though.

We headed to Ming Moon where we had a karaoke booth booked. The all you can eat buffet was on the main floor and we went down a spiral staircase and then another stairway to the booth. I’m no Carol Vorderman but I did a quick sum. Alcohol in system + stairs + carrying a plate of food = potential carnage.

I was sat by the order drinks button which really wasn’t a good idea. It could have been worse though. Sean could have been by the order drinks button. The lights went down, the volume went up and we were good to go.

We got drinks, sang a couple of songs then it was enter stage right – me. My song of the year is Nothing Matters by The Last Dinner Party so I thought I’d do that. I really don’t have the posh English accent like the lady who sings it normally but I think I gave it a good go, putting some real emphasis on the chorus.

We grabbed food, obviously I dived on king prawns and various chicken things but then came the highlight. Pork belly. There were some other words but God knows what they were. They’d grabbed my attention with the first two. Going down that spiral staircase with a full plate felt a bit like being on It’s A Knockout but it was well worth it when completing the descent. Food was epic.

Drew went to sing Backstreet Boys I Want It That Way. Everybody (Backstreet’s Back) by them is my absolute karaoke song. I nail it, then just when everyone is loving it I up the nailing. I mentioned this and was handed a microphone. First time I’ve done karaoke sitting down but it was a great duet.

More singing and good times followed. Zoey got up to sing I Guess That’s Why The Call It The Blues and I shouted “great song” and was handed a mic. I’ve got to be honest, upon arrival I didn’t expect to be dueting on Elton John with a lovely lady but it was a great performance from us both and I really enjoyed it. Another duet in the form of me and Sean doing The Smiths This Charming Man occurred. I had no flowers to swing around but did the motions anyway, which felt good but probably not as pleasing to watch as Mozza doing it properly.

My last turn was Always by Blink 182. A song I’ve always wanted to perform but wasn’t sure how it would work. I did comment halfway through that it was harder to sing on karaoke than when washing up. Good to to practice it with just 6 people watching rather than a baying audience like you get in a pub. Not sure how women in pubs of Walsall would cope with me singing “come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you always, Kiss you, taste you all night, always.” I guess we’ll find out soon.

Performance of the night came from Drew singing Rap God by Eminem. I didn’t know this one but he belted it out and how he found time to breathe I’ll never know.

Our time slot ended at 10.45, there were photos then goodbyes. Clare and Connor were getting the same train as me and they hoped I knew where New Street was, just as I was hoping they did. Sean said it was a straight road and he was bang on. I didn’t run up the steps like Rocky Balboa.

There were 20 minutes before the trains departure and old me would have dived into Wetherspoons for a quick one but I only drink responsibly these days.

Back in Walsall I jumped into a taxi outside the station. He clearly wasn’t happy with his fare and instead of going straight up Caldmore Road like my taxi earlier, he must have clocked how much I love this town and took me on a nice sight seeing tour including the back of ASDA car park, St Matts Church, Lyndon House, Flans and Trough et al. Had it been 10 minutes earlier when the Walsall Arms doors were still open, I’d have cut short his shenanigans and asked to be dropped by The Royal Hotel and darted up there.

What a great night Sean. Thanks for the invite. It’s got me thinking. I’ve not had a birthday bash outside of Walsall since the legendary Rugeley night in 2015. I may have to let the train take the strain next year.

Domino’s Pizza, 180 Stafford Street, Walsall.

Recently opened new branch this. To replace I assume the now closed one on Lichfield Street. The car parking outside this new one may have been a factor in the move. I love Domino’s but never really have it. This place used to be a Kwik-Fit car garage then a carpet shop before changing to its current use. I’m guessing my Doctor and Bank Manager are both pleased that it wasn’t a Domino’s when I was living around the corner on Lewis Street.

I’d announced at work that I was going here and Tom my Vegan colleague recommended the Chicken Kickers. I did query this but he pointed out that he hasn’t had them since converting.

I had an issue straight away. The in-store menus don’t list what toppings are on the pizzas. I find that most pizzas have at least 1 thing on that I don’t want. For example the Mighty Meaty has onion and mushrooms on it. It’s not called the Mighty Meaty With Added Shit is it?

Anyway, I had to access the menu on my phone but first I had to put my post code in, then pick between collection or delivery, pick a store and then my God I could look at the pizzas. You had to click on each one though to view the toppings. It was a ball ache. I’ve never known choosing food to be so arduous. Had to dock points for this especially as when a pop up came and when I cleared it it took me back to the choose store screen.

I started to think ‘bloody hell, I’ve got work tomorrow’, and I made a pact at that point to just have the next thing that didn’t have any crap on it. This turned out to be the Ranch BBQ. Chicken breast strips, pepperoni, smoked bacon, ground beef, bbq sauce and Mozzarella. Medium and as I’d never had stuffed crust that was chosen too along with the aforementioned Chicken Kickers.

I was asked my name upon ordering which threw me. Never had this before. I know it happens in Starbucks but I don’t frequent those. So I said my name twice, pronouncing it correctly and also spelling it out Mikee for added clarity.

The lad behind me was also caught out by this. He had to be asked his name 3 times before saying “Robert” tentatively in an unconvincing tone.

My food came quickly and when he announced it he called me Micky which I hate so I had to dock more points for that. It could have been worse I guess. If he’d called me Michael I’d have been over the counter and having the place up.

Anyway the pizza was good, stuffed crust epic and the initial plan to save a couple of slices for work the next day went completely out of the window. Chicken Kickers really good too.

Just before I departed a female customer came in and the first question she asked was “what size is the medium pizza?” I knew what she meant. She was clearly thinking about inches but still, it took every sinew of my resolve not to shout “medium” at her.

Decent visit in the end though.

UFC Shawarma, Park Street Arcade, Walsall.

This place opened recently. I had been meaning to tick it off just not on this occasion. I left my house with a plan A for food which failed. Hastily thought of plans B & C also didn’t happen so I was ready to eat anything by the time I arrived here. I hadn’t visited so many eateries in such a short amount of time since the joyous days of Eat Out To Help Out.

Anyway I get to the bus station somewhat ravenous and malnourished to find the passageway to Park Street absolutely teaming with Police. I had no idea what had gone on. An elderly couple in front of me asked if they could go though and one copper said yes. I asked the same one if I could go in the takeaway and was ignored, so I took that as a yes. To be fair after all the steps I’d unexpectedly put in, wild horses were not stopping me going in.

I strolled in and opted for the fish burger to be told they hadn’t got any and were waiting for them to be delivered. I know some carriers like to deliver just as the staff are about to go home so I wasn’t waiting for that. The fish fingers caught my eye but as they were on the kids menu I thought better of it. I went Lamb Shawarma with fries. The man put peri peri salt on the fries which made them really good.

There was music, don’t ask what. I’ve no idea what any of it was. Food was good and it seemed like a few people were popping in.

Lee Garden, 131 Weston Street, Walsall.

It was the last Sunday of July, a glorious day and in my opinion far too hot to cook. Although if the temperature was absolute zero I’d probably still say it was too hot to cook and venture out. I fancied a stroll in the Sun as my intake of Vitamin D via this medium has been lacking of late so off on an amble to Weston Street I went.

My colleague Carole and I had been talking about when this was a legendary chip shop back in the 80’s and what a sad loss it was. I have used this as a Chinese but not since both The Fullbrook and White Lion closed as I no longer walk back that way from the match.

I walked in and perused the menu on the wall. This was purely academic and to keep the lad behind the counter interested. I knew what I wanted. Sweet and Sour Prawn Balls. I have gone mad for these of late and wanted to see if they are as good as the ones from Lucky Star next to Katz.

I went up the counter, which still had a plastic screen proud and erect on it, which brought a nice feel of 2020 to the proceedings. I crouched down to find the gap at the bottom and proceeded to say “king prawn….” I was getting my order wrong. My default setting of king prawn fried rice was trying to do a manual override. I stopped, apologised and tried again. Got it right. One of these days I will get confident and good at talking to people but maybe not in this life.

Options for entertainment during the cooking time were restricted to a television showing Andy Murray and Dan Evans playing tennis, or a near two week old copy of The Sun. I opted to make notes. I glanced up shortly afterwards, Evans and Murray were celebrating. I hadn’t realised match point was imminent. Me missing something important during sport? Never.

The food came just as I put my phone away which disappointed me as I did want to check my horoscope to see if that days predictions had come true. They probably hadn’t. It usually stuff like “single? You’ll find love linked to number 47 and have a cracking shag” and it’s always bollocks.

It’s cash only at this place and the sweet and sour prawn balls are £6.60. They were good and needless to say I dropped a small amount of the red sauce down me. I was pleased that I’d taken my white t-shirt off before proceeding. Alright ladies, calm down. It’s not a Diet Coke break.

Good visit this. Wish it was still that chip shop though.

The Farmers Boy, Barns Lane, Rushall.

Josh has me round his house for food all the time. Seriously I’d be thinner than Posh Spice if it wasn’t for him. Yes, feel free to shout “oh no you wouldn’t.” So I offered to take him out for dinner to this place and as he’s never been in before he quickly agreed.

We arrived just as delegates for some kind of scooter rally were also rocking up so we dashed in to try and beat the queue. The menu was extensive and covered a lot of bases but I’d had the Chip Shop Platter on my previous visit so was always heading back to there. Josh opted for Ribs And Wings. I offered a starter of wings to share, completely oblivious to the fact that Josh was having wings with his Ribs And Wings. Definitely a clue there if I’d known where to look.

I glanced and offered Chicken Goujons which Josh was happy with. I was far too excited to read the blurb underneath this entry. More on that later. Service was quick and I think the bill came to £38 for the starter, 2 platters and 2 pints of Inch’s. Very decent.

Don’t ask what the music was. I honestly don’t remember. We were busy nattering and generally talking bollocks which is what we do best. Genuinely the only music memory of I have of the night is from The Walsall Arms where Josh randomly showed me the Wham Club Tropicana video, as it’s a fave of his from when he was a kid and I’d not seen it.

The goujons came quickly and were good. I dipped first in the white sauce which was nice. Josh went red and reported that it had a bit of a kick to it. I don’t mind spice so waded in. He was not being dramatic. God it was. I checked the menu and the sauce is Carolina Reaper which I have learnt from social media posts is a bit warm. Naturally I had two more dips to look hard.

The mains came out and Josh absolutely demolished his. I’d called him Charlie Bucket earlier in the day as he was going to Cadbury World again and now he was wolfing his food down like said character does in the film with that Wonka Bar he buys with the money he finds.

My Chip Shop Platter was ace. Fish (this was mossiv. “You’re going to need a bigger boat” kind of size), scampi and a fishcake. Epic stuff. We both enjoyed our food, company was excellent and having Inch’s on tap just added to the goodness. “Happy days” to use one of Josh’s sayings.

The Farmers Boy will soon become a man if he continues to eat here.

Piri Fino, 2 Gallery Square, Walsall.

I like this place, not gonna lie but haven’t been since before Covid so was well overdue another visit. I met Swill in The Met then we strolled around the canal basin and in.

The waitress went through the list of drinks and we opted for Cobra. “Regular or large?” I think the question caught Swill off guard and he hesitated before opting for large. I mean come on, who in Walsall is asking for a regular Cobra?I also asked for a large one and we were both puzzled shortly afterwards when we were served large colas. We glanced at each other and I could tell he was thinking do I let this go, as I was. Thankfully after another hesitation he queried this and soon we had booze. I know the glasses were only on our table for a minute or so but a quick photograph by an onlooker and my reputation could have been in tatters.

I opted for 1/2 chicken medium strength and Swill went for a burger with the same level of spice and the food came quickly and it was epic. Swill said his burger was moist with the right level of spice and his peri peri chips were absolutely delicious.

Music was modern and I knew a couple of them but most I didn’t know. I’d have bombed if Craig was doing one of his artist and title quizzes.

Nice place this, with the canal right up to the window, food is good and reasonably priced (think it was £16 for my chicken, garlic bread side and Cobra). I need to go more.

Apologies for any typos in this. My head is still fuzzy from Mase and Beth’s bbq last night.Thanks for reading folks. I’m knocking the blog on the head for a month or 2 now so enjoy the rest of your Summer.

Last Saturday Walsall had a pre season friendly away at Tamworth. Josh has a new car and although I’d been in it 2 or 3 times, we still needed our first proper mission in it. Motion carried. Tamworth (a) was announced.

First up was Walsall Arms for breakfast after ironing my t-shirt of course. This weeks ironing song of choice was the fabulous Don’t Falter by Mint Royale/ Lauren Laverne. A magnificent song that really should have got higher than no 15 in the charts. This is why I don’t trust the general public.

Upon being served breakfast, Jodi asked if she could take a picture of me with it for the pub’s Facebook page. I had no issue with this and quickly agreed. It’s taken until I’m 50 but I knew that one day my face would be used to promote something, and I was delighted that this was the time. Although they haven’t used the picture yet but when they do I’m thinking break the internet. Kim Karsashian will be #fummin. Or is my imagination running wild again?

Anyway it was another great breakfast. Josh picked me up and he had one of his daughters Maizie with him and we were off to pick up Pezza, Laura and their kids Albie and Arabella. Josh’s car seats 7 and he had named a capacity crowd. He gave me choice of the Heart decades stations and I went for noughties and it was banger after banger. First up was Kiss Kiss by Holly Vallance and we both gave it portions, I even joined in with the mwah mwah sound effects. Josh then asked what her second single was called. He knows I hate having gaps in my music knowledge and now as I type this a week on I still can’t recall it. Due to Frank Skinner rules you are not allowed to Google something if you know you know it. Josh you’ve won this one. For now.

While I’m on about this kind of thing, thanks to everyone who sent private messages after last week’s blog. Yes I missed Jump To The Beat when naming Dannii Minogue songs. I promise to listen to it every day for the rest of my life. There are 12 corners in my Living Room due to it’s bizarre design. I will pick one of them, stand in it and have a word with myself.

Anyway back to Heart 00’s last week, it was an arm thrust high (not high with my arms) out of the window, sing loudly kind of journey and it was ace.

Josh’s mate Aaron lives by Tamworth town centre and had said we could park by his which saved us some hassle. I met Aaron on Josh’s stag do to Dublin and he was one of the two absolute stand out top lads that I met on that trip so it was going to be good to see him again.

We arrived around half 1 and headed straight to the first boozer. We passed The White Lion, a pub that I have nothing but fond memories of but time was scarce pre match so we went straight to The Crafty Two. This pub was the home of the Tamworth episodes of The Long And Shot Of It podcast that I’d recorded with Sean but I’d heard it had changed hands since.

The first change was that there was no real ale on, not too much of an issue but it was a strange sight to see all 5 hand pulls naked. It was also weird not to be in there with Sean and Sammy (our fabulous pa) and to see our usual table set for dining rather than covered in microphones and equipment. You can read about our first episode in Tamworth here. Stop press. I heard off Sean yesterday. He says a new gaffer took over on Friday who is bringing back the ales and says we can record the Tamworth episodes for series 2 there. Happy days.

We went to The Phoenix next. This was busy and full of Walsall fans, all good. I asked for Carling, the bar man held up a random glass asking “is this glass ok?” I didn’t care as long as it wasn’t a half. Kick off was approaching. If the Carling glasses were in the washer, they could stay there. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Pezza spotted the glass straight away. “You’ve had Heineken?” he asked in a baffled tone. I had to explained which didn’t make the situation sound any better.

Tamworth’s ground is a 10 minute walk out of town and I was the last of our group to reach the turnstile and I was held up. I must point out the hold up was a steward stepping in the way and surveying something in the ground rather then me having extra searches or concealed weapons removed. When I got in I saw a gap by the wall and stood there to watch an attack and then saw the absolute legend from SciChem Don Mills who I hadn’t seen since the reopening of The Trough night in April so I stood with him. It was good to see a few other fans dotted around including Daz Anslow who I’be not seen since his wedding so all good. This is why pre season is good, seeing folks again.

Tamworth took the lead which wasn’t too surprising. They are now in the league below us and we only had a team of youngsters and trialists out. It was 1-0 at half time and all the rest of my group went to the club house but I stayed and chatted with Don. We were level shortly after half time with Jamie Jellis equalising against his former club. The previous Saturday Harry Williams had scored for us at Alvechurch against his former club and I remarked to Don if Ben Sadler (our new CEO poached from Morecambe) might be brought on as sub on the opening day to try and keep this run going.

I’d checked the BBC weather app on the morning and it had said rain at 4pm and it was bang on correct. I appeared to one of the few people who had brought a raincoat. I’m not usually this prepared, I was a shit boy scout.

A short while later I took a leisurely stroll to the toilet in the club house stopping en route to quickly chat to Dave Roe and Mark and others in the club before returning to see two late goals. One for Tamworth and a late one for 17 years old Walsall sub Dylan Thomas.

Full time came and I was happy enough. It was a good run out against a decent side. I got in the club and saw Kimbo and John Heighway who had seen very little of the game having stayed in the club. There was also Marvellous Matt Stacky, along with Granty and his missus Petra along with Granty’s grandson Oliver who was the young star of the recent Walsall FC Local Legends short film.

Laura asked “did you see all the goals?” I raised my arms triumphantly and exclaimed “yes”. This is rare for me. 10 minutes later I went on Facebook and found out that I had missed a goal. A stunning free kick from our of our trialists and we had in fact won the game.

I didn’t have a pint in the club, meaning that two weeks running I’ve gone away and not had a pint or food in the ground. My pre season isn’t going to plan.

We headed to The Bole Bridge, Tamworth’s Wetherspoons. I went up the bar and all the ale pump clips were turned around apart from Ruddles and I wasn’t going down that road. I got served straight away and hadn’t had time to ponder options. I glanced right and Bud Light was the first thing I saw so I opted for that. To quote Katy Perry “I was disgusted with myself”. I don’t like drinking normal Bud never mind the light version. I should have just had Ruddles. Anyway service was quick and friendly and I was soon back at the table with the others who were doing some witchcraft of ordering via their phones.

I positioned my glass carefully so the Bud Light branding was not visible to Pezza as he would have had a field day upon seeing it. I managed to drink it all without anyone noticing. The perfect crime and now nobody will ever know. Oh wait…. To be fair I actually enjoyed it.

Decent visit this. Staff were friendly including the lad who brought the food out informing us that we were his last job and he was finishing his shift. He was still about as we left and we wished each other well. I must visit this more when in town as I think I’ve only been in once previously.

The Penny Black was our last pub. Conversation was varied in here ranging from next England manager, hair loss (yeah cheers). I had to tell the tale of about two months ago when Josh was at my house and he’d asked about when I lost my hair and I said at 17 and showed him pictures before then. After he left, I kid you not I went on Twitter and there was a poll asking bald men in which decade did you lose your hair and teens was not an option which truly crushed me. My love life was also raised or lack of it. I mentioned that I’ve got no confidence and that the Lion from Wizard Of Oz has more courage than me. I need third parties to do the match making like in the past so more of that please folks.

We headed back towards the car, Aaron dived into a bar I didn’t know about (next time Aaron I’m with you) and we were quickly back on the road.

We sailed back and Josh dropped me off at The Walsall Arms. There was a singer on doing stuff from Elvis and The Beatles but the real highlight was Losing My Religion by REM. A song that got me into guitar music and changed my life for good in 1991.

It was a great end to a truly fab day. I never thought I’d see Josh do a sober away day so fair play and big thanks to him for driving and everyone else for the good times. My pre season is now over as I’m not doing anymore but everyone going to Drogheda have a great day. See you all at church for the Morecambe match.

Well after the succes of volume 1 of this series I was eager to get back out there spotting more birds. I’ve been working on this since March 2023 so at long last, here goes.

The Kingfisher, Birdbrook Road, Old Oscott, Birmingham.

On the last Summer Great Barr pub crawl with Kina and Sharon. Andy threw in a curve ball whilst outside The Old Horns. He’d planned and announced the route but now he was offering two other pubs. I forget the first but the second flew out at me. The Kingfisher. A chance to get another bird under my belt could not be turned down.

On entry there was a sign above the bar saying “Kyme and Slim welcome you”. Isn’t that Eminem and his wife? Andy went up the bar so me and Kina went exploring like people on an episode of Come Dine With Me. We found a customer free room with a mossiv birdcage containing a macaw called Otis. It was nice to spot a bird while doing a blog about bird spotting. I don’t know if macaws talk like parrots do but I spoke more than he did and I’m normally shy when meeting birds.

The weather was nice so we sat outside so I didn’t really get a proper feel of this place but it certainly felt like the me pub of the area.

The Three Pigeons, 1 South Parade, Halifax.

This pub was the main reason I visited Halifax in March 23, just so I could include it in this blog and it was well worth it. A magnificent looking pub from the outside and wonderful inside. I was laid back about getting off the coach and then had to take photos so I was last in and behind quite a queue which was fine as it gave me chance to go exploring.

It has 5 different rooms, one that contained a sole drinker who eyed me suspiciously as I entered, one with a tv which was broadcasting The Ashes via BBC Radio 5 Live Sports Extra. Another room had a dartboard whilst the back room had a nice display of 3 Pigeon silhouettes. The last room was by now full of my fellow day trippers so I grabbed a pint and a hog roast pork pie and looked for a seat. The suspicious man had gone so I sat in there.

The beer was good, pork pie great, it was friendly and welcoming, well apart from that one lad. An architecturally brilliant pub inside and out. Needless to say that with those attributes if it was in Walsall, the council would have come up with a bizarre reason to flatten it years ago.

The Pup And Duckling, 1 Hatchford Brook Road, Olton, Solihull.

Limited hours micro pub that came to my attention when a visiting fan to Solihull Moors mentioned it on Twitter. I checked it out on Pubs Galore and saw some reviewers say how unwelcoming the landlord is and that he and his mates make no attempt to engage in conversation with visitors. This I can cope with. More of this should be happening.

It was a cold miserable November evening. Woza had picked me up straight after Walsall’s dismal home draw with Forest Green and after that I was ready to drink anything. Fortunately more green action of the day was on offer, this time Green Duck Brewery and a 4.2% beer called Origin.

I was ravenous, the plan had been to grab a McDonalds after the game but that didn’t happen so I dived on a well filled ham cob. I was presented with a card reader so assumed I had to pay by plastic which I don’t like to do. I’m from the 1970’s so like to pay by cash. I messed up and put my card completely on the wrong place and had to be told where to put it by the pleasant barmaid. I apologised and said “I’m crap with technology” which got a laugh from her.

The beer was epic and the cob was amazing. Why do cobs in pubs taste so good but when you make them at home with the same ingredients they are shit? That’s one for the boffins.

We only stayed for one as it was Woza’s birthday evening so we got back to Rushall so he could park up and get supping. I grabbed a cob for the road before departure and it was £3.50. I might not have bothered had it known it was that much but it was worth it. Woza commented “They were £3.50? No wonder the basket was full. So you’ve spent £7 on cobs? Your curry later will only be £8”. Put it like that it does seem excessive. Had they been say £1.50 I may have followed the one for the road with one for the car park, one for the double yellow lines and one for the pot holes.

It was a good pub, it was very busy and the lady who sat at the next table was only there a minute before moving. “At least you aint lost the art of scaring the women away” was Woza’s assessment.

I recommend this place highly.

The Black Eagle, 16 Factory Road, Hockley Birmingham.

Fast forward to this week. It was the day after the Euro 2024 final and I was off work. I needed a pick me up so I grabbed one of those tram/train/bus day tickets and headed to New Street. I’ve never caught the tram from outside there so today was a first and it was Soho Benson Road here I come. The Black Eagle is a short stroll away from that stop and I was soon there.

I’ve only been in this pub once and that was I think on pub challenge 2 back in 2015. It’s always been a renowned real ale pub so I was eager to see what they had gone on.

One pump clip really caught my eye with it’s design. Shindig by Wye Valley. I love their beers but this was a new one on me. Sold to the bald man with the Walsall accent. Unfortunately though it wasn’t playing nicely. She pulled and pulled but all that happened was she got a couple of splurts of it on her top.

I was offered HPA or Butty Bach and chose the former. The pub was deserted save for 3 other customers who were still in a gloomy mood from the night before talking about assisted dying, dementia and a condition which causes all of your hair to fall out. Yeah cheers, I must have caught that at 17.

I only had th one pint. I headed for the loo and the barmaid commented on my Weird Science t-shirt which was a good end to the visit.

Hen & Chickens, 27 Constitution Hill, Birmingham.

It was still the same Monday. I thought I might as well kill two birds with one stone, or one daysaver if you please. Two stops down the Metro line from The Black Eagle, this place is near St Paul’s stop and situated in a very fine looking building. I’d only been in this place once before as well but that time it was standing room only. This time only two tables were occupied but the others all had reserved signs on them. I grabbed a pint and stood there looking lost. Fortunately a customer took pity on me and asked the barmaid if I could sit at a table and she said yes.

The tv was showing a 1990’s music channel and as I returned to the table with a menu All I Wanna Do by Dannii Minogue was just starting. This is my favourite Dannii song but I’ve not heard it in decades. This Is It is my 2nd favourite but I hear that every now and again because the video is quite pleasing on the eye. Now are you going to go all Ken Bruce on me and want me to name a third song by her? It’s guess work but I’ll say Love & Kisses or Who Do You Love Now?

I tried to peruse the menu but the video was proving too distracting so I just opted for Chicken Tikka Massala with a cheese naan (£17.50). I walked back up the bar singing along as normal and as the barmaid processed my order it reached the chorus. “All I wanna do, all I wanna do, all I wanna do is touch you.” Fair play to the barmaid, she didn’t seem to mind and even called me darling.

A sign on the wall said “try our tandoori king prawns” and they leapt out at me from the menu but when I saw the cost of £17.95 they leapt back. I will have them one day but only on a special occasion.

The food came quickly and was really good, the music great with maybe only Around The World by Daft Punk bringing things down a bit.

Really good visit this. Barmaind and fellow customers friendly, great food and a beer I’d not had before.

I was soon back at the tram stop. I’m no eavesdropper but I couldn’t help hear a phone conversation by a lass who is clearly having just as much luck with her love life as I am. I could still hear her on the tram when she was in the next part of the carriage. “How can I approach him when he doesn’t even look at me?” and “I went to the toilet and when I got back he’d moved to the back of the room” where the two lines I remember. I should have asked if she likes tandoori king prawns and missing Walsall FC goals on a regular basis.

That’s it for this edition. I would say that there will be a volume 3 of this but given how long this one has taken, don’t hold your breath.

I woke up on Saturday to sunlight illuminating my house. What a delight. I don’t see the Sun very often but now it was certainly a case of “the Sun has got his hat on, hip hip hip hoo-bloody-ray”. Typically though by the time I had got ready (today’s song of choice whilst ironing was Take Me To Church by Hozier) and fannied about a bit he had disappeared. It was like he hadn’t just removed his hat but also encased it in concrete and chucked it in the North Sea never to be seen again.

Saturday was the first pre season friendly for Walsall FC. I’d never been to Alvechurch. I was aware of it though as we have signed players from them like David Kelly, Richard O’Kelly and Harry Williams. It is also where road rage killer Tracie Andrews lived with Lee Harvey.

Breakfast was first so it was off to The Walsall Arms. I’d mentioned to Jaz in the week that I’d be there early and explained that I had a train to catch. She promised to have breakfast ready for me. I walked in bang on 10am and true to her word breakfast was in front of me straight away. It was epic and I so needed that mug of tea having not got up in time to make one before I left the house.

I was able to take a leisurely stroll to the railway station, almost getting taken out by a Just Eat delivery man cycling on the pavement. This happens most days and I now class it as part of my routine. There will be a collision one day and I will sue for millions and also have his bag of food and bike off him.

There was confusion at the ticket office. I asked for a return to Alvechurch. He replied “no problem, return to Old Hill.”no, return to Alvechurch, Worcestershire” I replied not at all confidently. “Oh Alvechurch” he said pronouncing it with an r after the e. “Yes please.” I though “we’re getting there” was the slogan for travelling by train. Not for just trying to buy the ticket for it. I must point out at this juncture that I have no idea where Old Hill is (and at the time of writing this, hangover Monday following the Euro final I haven’t researched it) but I now want to go. I’ll probably rock up and there will be no pubs.

Anyway I got the train I was aiming for, changed at Aston and 4 minutes later I was on the chuff chuff to Alvechurch. I can do good planning occasionally. I’d done my research. I knew there was a great looking pub by the railway sation, and how to walk to the other pubs and the ground. I got to The Weighbridge to find Colin Plant, Wurzel and Snudge sat outside. Colin recommended the Bridge 60 beer which I’d never heard off so I headed in with him close behind.

“Oh they’ve got the cobs out now Evo, cause you’re here” commented Colin. I wasn’t hungry but pondered getting one to walk into town with. I ordered my beer and asked “what cobs have you got?” “These are cheese” the nice barmaid replied “but we could do you a ham one.” “Could you do me a ham and cheese one?” I asked. “Ham and cheese?” she queried looking genuinely baffled. “Er yes, please.” “Ham and cheese together?” she clarified. “Erm yes.” The barmaid called the cob lady over. “Can you do this man ham and cheese on a cob?” “Ham AND cheese?” the lady queried sounding really confused. I was causing a right kerfuffle. Colin was like “fuckin hell Evo, you’ve been in the pub 3 minutes and you’re causing trouble. Cobgate was now spreading. One of the locals waded in with “why don’t you just have a ham cob and a cheese one and combine them.” “I couldn’t possibly eat two” I replied. Yeah, hold that thought. I grabbed my pint and ran.

The Weighbridge is next to Alvechurch Marina and it was very pleasant sitting there looking out over the boats. It was very warm but not sunny. He was popping out sporadically but he certainly no longer had his hat on. More like an ill fitting baseball cap.

A young lad brought two cobs out. Both with thick cheese and gammon style ham on. I really don’t know why I got two. The lad must have been thinking ‘you greedy sod George.’ That is of course if he calls people he doesn’t know the names of George like I do. Anyway the cobs were amazing. I ate both just to prove a point. I don’t know what point but I enjoyed proving it. I’d paid £7.50 but didn’t know if I’d paid for pint and one cob or pint and two cobs. Presumably there was no button on the till for ham and cheese cob so perhaps I just sent the whole system haywire.

I power walked into town (I had carbs to burn off) and ticked off the Red Lion first. Busy with a few fellow Saddlers in and a very foodies type place. A few tables had reserved on, but I eventually found one for 2. I’d been sat there for all of three minutes when a man came up and asked if the other chair was free. I pondered claiming I was waiting for Patsy Kensit but he may have smelt bullshit so I let him have it. He picked it up and marched away.

The Alvechurch Inn was next. I was exchanging pleasantries with the barmaid (she had no idea The Mighty Walsall FC were in town). Colin walked in and it took all of 2 minutes for him to point out the cobs on the bar. I was all cobbed out for the day. And possibly the next couple.

The Swan was next. I’d seen a few Facebook check ins here so I knew this was were most people were gathering. I got a warm welcome from a busy room. Off the top of my head there was Kimbo, “Marvellous” Matt Stacky with his kids, Tomo, Tim, Ryan and Jase from Katz (I’d already seen his wife Mel on the train so it was good to complete the set). Apologies to those that I’ve missed.

It was good in The Swan with great people. I’d budgeted for a taxi to the ground but was offered a lift in Tomo’s minibus which was decent. We got to the ground at 2.59. Bit early for my liking but it was the first game of pre season so it’s all about preparing for the months ahead. The later arrivals will come as the season gets underway.

Me and Jase headed for the bar but then I decided I didn’t want a beer and went to watch the game. Most unlike me. I went in the clubhouse before half time to beat the rush and again decided against a pint, instead I just sat and watched some tennis. I hadn’t seen a second of this years Wimbledon so it was nice to finally see a bit and I missed our first goal.

It’s not immediately clear which toilets are which and I nearly walked into the ladies. Safely in the gents a lad struck up conversation and said that he actually did walk in the ladies and a woman was in there but she was fine with it. Had that been me, I’d have soon had a very damp Andrex roll bounce off my head.

Dave O’Shea joined me for the second half, I saw our 3rd goal (we won 3-0) and had a good chat with Dave. I saw lots of fellow Saddlers Dean, Kerry and Oli to name a few and it was a really good day. It’s what’s good about pre season, seeing people you haven’t seen for a couple of months.

I turned down a lift back to Walsall on Tomo’s minibus as I wanted to go back to The Weighbridge and also because I’m a kind of “I’ve paid for my train ticket, I’m going to bloody use it” kind of guy.

Back in the pub, via a nice short cut which took out the town centre I asked for the same beer that I’d had earlier but was given Goats Milk instead. This must have been payback for cobgate. I didn’t ask for one this time. The Goats Milk was excellent though so no harm done. Colin asked if I’d eaten in the ground and I fessed up to a small tin of Pringles at half time but it was strange for me to go to a game and not use the bar or catering facilities. I shall not be making a habit of that.

I made the train back ok this time changing at Duddeston as I’ve been fascinated by the derelict state of that station since I was a kid.

Back in Walsall I had time to kill. I was due at The Watering Trough at 9 but it was half 7. I went to St Matts Hall, had latte and ravaged the free refill’s. I also had the 10 chicken wings started just to keep my metabolism ticking over. I made a toilet visit before departure. There was a man at urinal no 5 so I could use no 2. If you’re new to this blog I have a thing about toilets in pubs, I always like to use urinal number 2, or if it’s a trough I stand roughly where no 2 would be. Obviously if nobody is using 1 or 3. Toilets had social distancing rules long before Covid.

Amyway the other guy gets to the sinks before me, I rocked up and out the corner of my eye I see him take a step back before loudly exclaiming “fucking hell”. He then walked nonchalantly to the hand drier. I wanted more info. I glanced at the sink to see if anything untoward was occurring like a snake emerging out of the plug hole but nothing. Context please folks.

I got to The Trough on time. Angie the landlady was on and it’s always good to see her. We were there for Becki’s birthday. She explained that her fiancee Jon wasn’t there as he was clay pigeon shooting and more drunk than she was. Drunk clay pigeon shooting? This sounds ace. I know the chances of me ever having a stag do are minimal but if I do then drunk clay pigeon shooting is on the agenda. It would be carnage and we could probably get away with a smaller minibus for the return journey.

I had a couple of beers then departed. Becki says it went mental after I left so I hope she had a great birthday bash. I usually walk home over Church Hill but as The Trough is halfway up Ablewell Street I just carried on up there. I somehow took a wrong turn though (maybe 2 wrong turns) and ended up outside The Walsall Arms. Oh well, while I’m here I might as well pop in.

I’m glad I did as Woza was in with Becky. I’ve not seen him since my birthday so that was good. He had supposed to be on a tour of town but had come here first and because the HPA was so good they had stayed.

The singer was decent, and it’s always good to exchange pleasantries with Jaz too and have a catch up with Woza. Successful visit. He did confirm that Alvechurch is pronounced with an r after the e.

Class day. Alvechurch (a) in the F A Cup First Round please. It might just be ready for a cob again by November.

I had a basic plan for last Saturday. Get up early and finish work on last weeks blog about Bloxwich. Go to Walsall Arms for a breakfast sandwich. Go to Digbeth Dining Club at Walsall Arboretum then The Met Bar (Wharf/Bar 10) for England v Switzerland. Easy yeah? No. This is me we are on about.

It took much longer to work on the blog than I thought and so I was an hour later leaving the house than planned and I was now ravenous. The breakfast sandwich was now going out of the window and it was the works instead.

Although it was only the second Saturday of Walsall Arms breakfasts, Jodi who was serving knew the drill. Mug of tea and no tomato or mushrooms. It was another successful breakfast mission but it was time to head to the dining event at the Arboretum although actually eating there was now being pushed further back into the afternoon.

I stepped outside. It was drizzling. I hadn’t brought a coat. It’s July plus it was dry when I left the house. I’d checked the BBC weather app and it had said 80% chance of rain all day until 7 pm when it dropped to zero percent. So it would be dry just as the England match would be finishing and we might be launching ourselves into the canal in despair.

I thought about pressing on as I’m only out for a few hours but then common sense kicked in. This doesn’t happen to me often. I’m going to be out in the open for several hours. It’s a 10 minute walk back to the house. Go and grab a raincoat. I knew people that were going to The Arboretum but we hadn’t arranged a meet up as such so I wasn’t letting anybody down with how late I would be rocking up.

It didn’t help that I saw a cat on my road. They normally run off from me but this one was relaxing, looked up and gave me a big meow which I always like and he accepted fuss.

I grabbed a raincoat and set off. Down Church Hill, past Katz and to the front entrance of the Arboretum. I knew from Facebook that the event was near the Wildlife Centre. I knew not where that was but assumed it was by the Visitor Centre. Yes yes yes, I know you should never assume. You make an ass out of u and me etc etc but I didn’t know how big this event was. It wasn’t by the Visitor Centre.

Jayne had checked into the event on Facebook neary an hour earlier so I rang her. The line was crap and she couldn’t understand me so put Sean on. He said they’d come away and were heading to the Toby. I liked the thought of them going to a dining club then heading for a mossiv carvery. He later confirmed that they had decided it was beer time and gone to the Toby for a pint and taxi to The Met. It’s times like this we really miss The Park Tavern.

I digress. Sean said that the event was down the other end. So I walked and soon found it but it was up an embankment which was very overgrown. So I walked and walked and eventually found a gap for me to nip up. I had clearly taken the wrong path. Not for the first time in my life. So basically I should have used the entrance by The Grange Playhouse. The one that is 15 minutes from my house. Organised Evans strikes again. I had to walk around the temporary fence to get to the entrance but at long last I was in.

There were lots of food stalls, one coffee stand and 3 or 4 bars along with a DJ to get some tunes blasting. And loads of people. I thought the rubbish weather and the 5 pm England match might have put people off but this wasn’t the case. There were quite a few people in Birmingham City shirts which surprised me. Well it’s been a few years since we’ve played them so I took it they were here for this event and then popping to some pubs to practise ahead of our pre season friendly with them on the 27th.

I bumped into Mark and Sarah. The former I see regularly but the latter I’ve not seen since a random meet in Cannock Wethersppons a few years ago. Things escalated quickly and within minutes I was serenading Sarah with the chorus to my favourite Shania Twain song “You’re Still The One”. There is context to this. I told her where I was watching the game and we talked of The Wharf of old and I mentioned the time we had a dismal defeat at Scunthorpe and afterwards we went to a Shania tribute night at said bar and she didn’t do that song. Sarah said she didn’t know it but recognised it from my rendition. I think she just wanted ,me to sing it to her. I didn’t mind. It’s not often I get to sing to lovely ladies.

I didn’t stay long. It was soon 3pm and I knew that Swill was getting to The Met at that time. I grabbed a double headed ice cream from a van outside the perimeter fence (which people without tickets could go to) then I set off. There was a performance going on in the bandstand so I watched that for a couple of minutes then proceeded.

I got to by what was Chicago’s and received a message from Josh. He was in McDonalds. I’d not seen him since Thursday (quite long by our standards) so I popped in. He asked about my day. He then summed it up. “So you paid £4 to go to a dining club, didn’t eat there and now you’re having a McDonalds?” Yeah. Me in a nutshell. Those divine limited edition Mozzarella Bites aren’t going to eat themselves are they? They are in danger of pushing Nigella Bites down to number 2 on my bites leader board.

Josh had got his wife Lyndsey and their 3 kids with him but not Mad Max the dog. As I’m round Josh’s all the time me and Max have properly bonded and Lyndsey even says I’m his favourite person. I’d have given him a Mozzarella Bite but he wasn’t under the table. I did check.

Josh and his entourage were off to The Locker (Saddlers Club) so I bade them all farewell and headed to The Met. It was rammed which was good to see and the atmosphere was lively. There was a good group out. Swill Mase Beth Sean Lauren Ian Jayne Chris Hannah Panda Dan and Martin were all out on international duty so I joined them. Swill’s brother Ant, who I haven’t seen in decades was also out so it was good to see him.

At half time the usual England anthems started to play and I headed to the bar. Swill mentioned that he’d just waited half an hour to be served. This would not be likely to change with the half time rush so I strolled to the Brewers Fayre next door and got served straight away.

I rued missing out on World In Motion, Three Lions and Vindaloo but as I supped my Madri here I was treated to Waiting For A Star To Fall by Boy Meets Girl. I was 14 when this came out and I really fancied the woman in the video.

The penalty shoot out win sparked joyous scenes and there were no despairing dives into the canal after all. Panda bought a tray of Baby Guinness shots which rounded off the proceedings nicely.

The group started to dwindle. I asked Swill what the plan was but he must have thought he was on 1 Versus 100 as he dodged the question. I asked another 3 times and he avoided answering. I felt like Jeremy Paxman interviewing Michael Howard.

Mase announced that he and Beth (Mrs Mase) were going to The Registry. I was on board with this so made a final toilet visit. I was mid flow when I realised I had company at the urinal. Coxy, who I didn’t know was even in the building had joined me for a natter. He’d already had his piss so there was no danger of us crossing the streams. I hadn’t seen him for ages so it was good to chat. Next time though Coxy let’s do it in the bar, or at Bescot Stadium. Best of both worlds maybe? Bar at Bescot Stadium.

I think we only had one pint in The Reg, Panda offered me a lift home in his taxi which was very decent of him as he lives at the opposite end of the Walsall borough but I couldn’t let him go out of his way so I declined and took a very pleasant stroll. Fantastic day with lots of good people. There is nothing like football for bringing people together. Now come on England in the final tonight.

Last Saturday was ace. It started well. Jaz at The Walsall Arms had announced that she was going to trial doing Saturday breakfasts for a few weeks. Well this needed looking into. This is the kind of investigative journalism that I got into this game for. Breakfasts are served between 10 am and midday which suited me perfectly as I had to be in Leamore for 12.

The deal is a full English and a pint for £10. Cracking value but I’ve got to be honest, and please don’t think less of me but I wasn’t feeling booze that early. I asked if I could have a mug of tea instead, and they dropped the price to £7. Everyone’s happy. Breakfast was ace. I’d requested no tomatoes or mushrooms as usual. The bacon was cooked exactly as I like it, which I can’t even manage to do myself.

It was time to meet Chris as we were starting at the North Walsall Athenaeum Club, one of the very few licensed premises in the Walsall borough that I have never been in. I wasn’t totally sure where it was but Chris had given instructions and to both of our surprise I got off the bus at the right stop.

Chris was waiting for me and was armed with bad mews. The club had put its opening back by half an hour. He suggested going to the Dog House (ace antique centre) to kill time as he knows I’d like to go. I turned this down as when I make my maiden visit I want time to have a proper mooch around, plus knowing me I’d have purchased one of the old telephone boxes outside. We’d have had to cart it round all day in a “to me, to you” style and this would have got tiresome by pub no 8. So we went for a stroll to the local shop.

We passed a skip and I always have to have a glance in. I stopped to admire a lovely looking white door which killed 30 seconds then we pressed on. I only play the National Lottery when it’s a must be won draw and as this was the case that night I had a go. I invited Chris to pick a number and he went for 8. This worked for me as it’s an even number plus also the luckiest number to the Chinese and they invented sweet and sour king prawn balls so they know their stuff.

Did Chris’s number help me win win millions? I’d love to say yes and I’m currently taking over Walsall FC and looking at houses in Saint Lucia but in truth I don’t know. I haven’t checked the ticket. I still have two tickets from May to check as well. Things don’t happen quickly in my house.

Chris bought us both a Fry’s Turkish Delight which was as random as it was delightful and we headed to the club. James joined us and after a pleasant pint we moved on to The Railway where Chris got excited by a horse called Popmaster on he tv. It led for a while before coming nowhere. Ken Bruce should have played his 5-4-3-2-1 countdown over the public address system to try and make it run faster.

The Lamp Tavern was next. Kingston Town was playing as we walked in earning the place an immediate point deduction. Things improved with Sophie Ellis-Bextor’s Murder On The Dance-floor and I was chuffed that someone else joined in with singing “the all together” like in the video. It”s usually just me.

The Beacon Way on the other side of Bloxwich was the next target. Annette the landlady was her usual friendly welcoming self. The crusty cobs with burnt tops looked amazing. I’ve never understood the burnt tops thing but it works. I grabbed a ham and cheese one to eat later. Chris commented that he couldn’t eat it as he doesn’t like butter or cheese. I couldn’t cope with this. How dare he. The music was absolute classics like Working My Way Back To You, Beggin’ and an ELO one the name of which escapes me. I’d struggled with the beer in the first pubs but in here I finally started to wake up, tucking into the pint and singing along gleefully.

I decided I couldn’t be arsed to carry the cob around so I demolished it. Chris said it was the best looking cob he’d seen in Walsall and actually could have eaten it. I’d offered him one at the bar and he’d turned it down and as a fellow quizzer he knows you can only accept the first answer.

On the way to The Robert Peel I stopped to marvel at the Princess Diana statue that was commisioned by the local stonemason with the intention of donating it to Walsall town centre but after negative reviews on it’s unveiling it now resides outside the company premises.

Chris announced a change of plan at this juncture. This worried me. In the week he’d announced us walking to Newtown which I’d flatly refused and we were now close to the road there, but no. We were off to a club I wasn’t aware of. Bloxwich Stafford Road Sports Club. My claim to have been to virtually every pub and club in Walsall was starting to look like it had huge holes in it. Chris crashed the Spicy Tomato Snaps, a favourite crisp of my childhood. It was in here that it was revealed that it was James’s birthday. Chris was going to wait until 7pm to wish him happy birthday. I asked James if he was born at 7pm but he wasn’t Chris just wanted a build up. If you;re interested I was born at 21.36 which I reckon my mom would have been chuffed with as she’d have been able to watch the soaps beforehand.

Sir Robert Peel was next. Beautifully decked out in England flags but we suspected that the multi country bunting may have been in storage since the 2022 World Cup, unless Wales Qatar Morocco Saudi Arabia Canada Argentina and Brazil had all qualified for the Euro’s while nobody was looking. Although saying that I had no idea that Austria had qualified until I got them in the work sweepstake then they topped their group ahead of France and Italy.

The Romping Cat was next. The barmaid was great although she proper had to climb up to grab crisps and then blamed Chris for saying he asked for the wrong ones. We settled down to watch the dying embers of Italy v Switzerland. I checked with a local if I would block his view and he was fine but also really happy that I’d asked. He thanked me and shook my hand which I liked. I always try to be courteous to people but it’s not often thanked for. The people in this pub are usual sound and this visit was no exception.

The Spring Cottage was busy with a disco in full flow and then it was the last pub The Hatherton Arms. I love this place. The karaoke is as close as I’ll get to how it was in The Fitters and the host Gaz is superb. An in pub running joke is whenever he says “any requests” everyone shouts “fuck off”. He was on his usual top form with a comment after one performance being “we’ve got some great singers here in Bloxwich. They’ll be here shortly.”

There was a group of nice ladies clearly in a party mood which added to the occasion and one of them kissed me on the back of my head then went back to the bar. I should maybe have chatted her up but after all the booze I probably wouldn”t have made much sense. But then again with my general conversation approach I probably wouldn’t have made much sense in pub 1. Another superb visit to this place.

We walked back to Leamore and went in Abdul’s, which I’ve never been in before. It’s unlicensed, which I didn’t know prior to entering but for once I didn’t mind. I’d had a bit to drink. I went for a chicken balti with cheese naan and it was nice but a bit more sauce to mop up would have been good. Chris paid for mine and James’s food which was thoroughly decent. Chris announced that an X51 was due so I bade them both farewell and ran for it. Unfortunately the bus wan’t going up near my house, terminating instead at Walsall bus station but I still felt right as rain so took a very pleasant walk home over Church Hill (sorry Carole).

Magnificent day from start to finish. Thanks to all involved.