Evo Boozy Scribbler

The Table, 33 Lower Hall Lane, Walsall.

I’d never been in this building. It evaded me when it was The Vine pub and I certainly didn’t frequent it when it was an alcohol free venue in the mid 90’s. I’ve heard good things about it since it became The Table. I pass it morning and night on my way to and from work but it’s always out of it’s opening hours so one Saturday morning in late February I finally ventured in.

There are two model giraffes to greet you on the way in which is nice, and the place is nicely decked out. It was busy so I found a seat against a ledge and perused the menu. I opted for the classic breakfast (hold the mushrooms) and a latte which came to £13.70.

It came quickly and while the price is dearer than other venues in town you can see that they use quality products. Dunno if my taste buds have changed over the years but I find sausages hit and miss these days, ok more hit than miss I admit. The sausage here though was absolute quality. Long, thick, firm and tasty. Talking Brian Adams Everything I Do kind of hit.

Enjoyable visit this. Decent staff and nice atmosphere. I’ll be back.

Pizza 2000, 95-96 Ablewell Street, Walsall.

I did this review around October time so prices may have changed. It was to be part of another blog but that has now been shelved. This is a long standing pizza place, originally located in the building next door before moving to it’s present site around 2010. I’m not a regular in this place by any means and on my last visit I ordered the kebab pizza and ended up with the meat on chips but I know mistakes happen. And the food certainly didn’t go to waste.

I knew that the collection offers are 5pm until 9pm and I got there at 4.58 so I stopped to take a picture and was then joined by a fellow customer eager for some Walsall FC chat, so it was actually 5.02 when I got in.

I was confused. The sign behind the counter had the collection offer as £8.49 for a medium pizza which was dearer than all of them of that size on the main menu on the side wall. Most of the pizza options had one or two ingredients that I don’t like. The All Day Breakfast pizza listed its ingredients as pepperoni, ham, mushroom and onion. Ok, I get that some people have mushroom on their breakfast even though they are vile but who has onion on it? My granddad was French and even he would be fuming at this.

I went for the meat feast pizza. Chicken tikka,ham, spicy beef and pepperoni. It was £7.99 so cheaper than the collection offer. I could have walked in at 4.58 after all.

The pizza was good and most of it was gone by the time I got home. Let’s all meet up in Pizza 2000.

Burger King, Crown Wharf Retail Park, Walsall.

This new drive thru opened last year in what was Frankie & Benny’s and I never visited it in that guise, and because I’m a poor man Burger King is a very rare treat for me so this was only my second visit to this place.

My first visit had been mildly entertaining. Despite pretty much every table being available, two blokes plonked themselves down on the one next to me. I paid no attention as I was deep in my social media feeds. Even when their voices raised I was still not looking up from my screen. George Orwell would have been very impressed. It was only when one of them stood up dramatically that I tuned into their world. The conversation went. “What are you doing?” “I’m going.” “But I’ve bought you your tea.” “Fuck off.” and he’d walked out. He must have got peckish outside as he returned 5 minutes later and sat down without a word.

Anyway I digress, this was a post work, kill time before cinema visit. I used the self service screen and in eagerness to order the Chicken Royale I missed the option to remove the lettuce. It dawned on me as I proceeded to checkout, I went back in and made the adjustment. Panic over. No milkshakes were available so they were definitely trying to compete with McDonalds. I paid 30p for a spicy mayo pot. To dip fries in, not to replace the milkshake.

No table service is available but you don’t get the scrum at the counter in here like you do in MaccyD’s. I sat down and fair play to them, the food was out while I was still making notes. The food as good as you would expect but one pot of sauce is not enough for the fries. At this point I regretted no longer taking my man bag to work which is about 3 quarters full of McDonald’s sauce sachets.

Only 4 toilet cubicles in here and they are unisex so don’t wait until you are bursting for a poo before going in case there is a queue. Decent visit this.

The Waterfront, 4 Waterfront North, Wolverhampton Road, Walsall.

Hungry Horse chain venue located beneath The Light Cinema. This was another post work pre cinema jolly and because I had plenty of time to kill I went through the menu with a fine tooth comb. I don’t get to use a comb too often nowadays so I loved this. I took advantage of “Save On Grill Monday” as 8oz rump steak was down from its normal price of £10.99 to £8.50. Obviously I couldn’t keep hold of the money I’d saved, that’s just not me so I had a side of scampi for £2.00.

The music was at a comfortable level. I didn’t know any of it but nothing leapt out that I didn’t take to. The place is nicely decked out with Walsall stuff including a sign in the style of a local bus destination blind. Despite having very little room left on my walls for stuff anymore, I’d love that in my house. When I become Mayor of this fine town I may turn up in the DH1 Mayoral car with my ceremonial chains on and ask if I can have the sign for my parlour in the town hall. Then take it home. God, I’ve not even taken office yet and I’m planning my first scandal.

The food arrived arrived quickly, the steak seemed a bit cooked for medium rare but I demolished it anyway. I still had lots of time to kill so I even ate the peas which must have confused the hell out of my digestive system.

Just as I was preparing to leave the television above the table opposite me started showing the weekends goals so I stayed to watch Taylor Allen’s one at Colchester. As I advanced for a better view the lone female beneath the tv looked anxious but I explained what I was doing and she joined me in marvelling at the fine hit. Decent visit this and the scampi was ace.

Danny’s Fried Chicken, 16 Pool Street, Walsall.

The sign on this place has been up for a couple of months but I was starting to think it wasn’t happening. Last Saturday I was having one of my rare “I’m not leaving the house” days then early evening friend of the blog Colin Walker messaged to say it was open and worth a visit. I replied that I’d check it out one of the days. I lasted an hour before getting dressed and scampering down.

Located in what was Pool Street Chippy but it’s unrecognisable from that now. It’s very bright in there and I’m not just on about the dazzling new lights. It’s main colour scheme is yellow and white. My 4th and 1st favourite colours and it’s nice to know that it’s not just my hall and stairs decked out like this.

It was friendly and welcoming on arrival, and so new the lass was being trained on the till. The first thing that jumped off the menu was the garlic bread with cheese and pepperoni. Unfortunately this wasn’t available as they’d run out of garlic butter. Next time then, and given this place’s location between the Walsall Arms and my house I’m sure this won’t be a long wait.

I went for 3 pieces of chicken without chips. The menu said £3.80 but I was charged £4.00. I know it’s only 20p but that’s half the cost of a large pack of Beef Space Raiders.

The food arrived quickly. Seating is now available in there but a glance at the clock revealed that I could be back home in time for the Legal Hour on LBC so I did that. My Saturday nights have certainly calmed down of late.

The chicken was great. Nice and succulent and the coating was crispy and devine. They also do burgers and pizza but with chicken this good that garlic bread I mentioned earlier may stay on the untried list. Cash only here which suits me. Danny it was nice to meet you and I’m sure I’ll be back again soon.

I have to open today’s blog with some grave news. If you read my St George’s Day blog published on Wednesday, you will recall my excitement at buying cheesy beans. Well I had them on Thursday and they were not great. Not worth £1.80. I probably made a rod for my own back by playing “Suzie” by Boy Kill Boy (a song in my top two of all time along with the album version of Wetsuit by The Vaccines). Suzie contains the chorus line of “countdown countdown countdown to the disappointment” and I was singing along loudly as the microwave was finishing its work. Talk about pre-empting things.

Friday night saw the reopening of The Watering Trough, a popular Walsall town centre pub now under control of the new landlady Angie Bosworth who is promising a return to its rock venue traditions. The pub has been shut a little while but she and a team of helpers have given the inside a makeover so that work day was spent looking forward to this event.

I finished work and strolled into town. It was the day after payday, a situation that automatically triggers my “Must spend. Must buy shit” mode. I headed to Savers and as I entered I made a mental note in my head as to what I needed. When I got to toothpaste on the list for some reason I put my index finger against my lips and made a brushing teeth gesture which must have looked odd. I had a pleasant amble around the store but possibly distracted by Absolute Radio playing Green Day’s “Basket Case” I forgot toilet rolls but I’m sure my fellow shoppers were relieved that I hadn’t made that gesture when doing the shopping list.

I headed down George Street and as you know I love a sign, so two pieces of A4 on a door caught my eye. The first said “We have moved” and the second said “8 doors to the left” my brain immediately thought “take it back now y’all. One hop this time” and that was it. Cha Cha Slide was in my mental jukebox all the way home.

On the evening I popped to The Wheatsheaf, grabbed a Wye Valley HPA which was priced at £3.90 and sat duwn but as soon as I did I got a message from Laura advising that her and Pezza were in Katz. The HPA was very drinkable so I downed it and legged it to join them as Laura said they weren’t out long. I don’t sprint often as it’s not a good look but sometimes needs much.

Laura and Pez were in good form and Jason the landlord was also at the bar so it was a very pleasant couple of pints but then it was Trough time.

Live entertainment was on with Delayed Response playing fronted by my great friend, the legend and former Sci-Chem co-worker and my podcast partner in crime Sean Westwood. The ex Sci-Chem contingent was boosted by Don Mills and Jon White, two also absolute top blokes. Sean’s missus Sammy and Jon’s partner Becki were also in. The pub was heaving and there were motorbikes parked outside. It was as if the pub had regressed back to the glory days of the mid 00’s when I used it regularly.

It was a good set from Sean and the lads. The second song was “Buck Rogers” by Feeder with Sean changing the line “get a house in Devon” switching said county for Walsall which went down a storm. A class cover of Iron Maiden’s “Run To The Hills” and then Beatles “Twist And Shout.” One of my favourite film scenes is in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off when he belts out that song on the float and I’d have loved that role for that bit alone.

“Proud Mary” followed, a song I adored as a child and when my dad got a new car with a tape deck in the early 80’s I was forever listening to that track and re-winding the cassette. I eventually broke it and never fessed up. Sorry Dad if you’re looking down. Set 1 ended with an emphatic cover of “Turning Japanese” a song I can certainly relate too.

During the half time break Don suggested we go in the little bar so we could chat and have a catch up but there was absolutely no room at the inn in there. Jesus and Mary would have been very impressed.

Set 2 was also good, with Sean even treating me to an “o ar” between two of the songs. The band gave way to a dj. Me and Don headed outside, initially to say our goodbyes but we ended up standing there for about 20 minutes chatting. The Trough was given the opening night that it deserved. The bar staff certainly earned their wages, they were on the go all night. Good luck to Angie and her team.

Don grabbed an Uber and I popped for a night cap in the Walsall Arms which is standard behaviour on my part. Woza and his missus Becky were in but just heading off. I had one pint, but as I hadn’t eaten properly before heading out I was starting to feel it so I called it a night.

Class night, great band, top company. And I still have two bog rolls left so no rush to head back down to Savers.

Hi all. It’s been a while yeah? Apologies the blog has gone quiet. I’ve had loads on and little writing time. Not complaining though. I’m really happy with life at the mo and that’s not always been the case.

Yesterday was St George’s Day. The national day of England and one of my favourite days of the year. As is the norm it’s English music only as I was getting ready and this time “Sense” by Lightning Seeds, “Death” by White Lies, “Magic Hour” by Cast, “Vice” by Razorlight and “Nothing Matters” by The Last Dinner Party were the choices. The latter of those I’ve really got into this last month and I’d love to sing it at karaoke despite it being performed by a female. Be interested to see if any ladies make eye contact with me while I’m belting out the chorus line of “and I will fuck you like nothing matters.”

I headed to town and first mission was to visit Eclipse Records, now located just inside The Crossing At St Paul’s Church building next to the bus station. This independent record shop is owned by fellow Walsall FC fan and all round top lad Pete Holland. He’d had something made specially for me so I popped in. Pete wasn’t about but his daughter was serving who was friendly and welcoming. We had a decent chat. Music along with Walsall FC, pubs and me is one of the subjects I can talk about all day. Turns out we both have “Acquiesce” as our favourite Oasis song. You can checkout the Eclipse online store here eclipse-records.co.uk

From there it was off to Jack & Ada’s for a superb full English breakfast and then the gym. Now at this point I need to mention that I have booked off St George’s Day when it has fallen on a week day every year since 1993 but this is the first time that the gym has occurred on this most magnificent of days. It was a routine visit other than finding out that it is quite tricky trying to hold in a fart when you are on level 5 of the treadmill. Normally I’d have unleashed it but a lass had rocked up on the machine next to me and there were no other suspects in the vicinity.

Last up was ASDA. I love shopping and if I had the money I’d do it more often. I’d heard the Heinz were bringing back the cheesy beans so you can imagine my excitement when I saw a shelf full of cans of them. This joy died when I saw the price. £1.80 for 1 can. I was very angry but still grabbed a can for research purposes. Although who am I kidding? Had it been two days after payday rather than 2 before I’d have probably cleared the shelf. The cheese they use now in them is Cathedral City. If you’ve ever wondered which city this refers to it is Wells in Somerset. I know this because I am sad and have absolutely no life and researched it once in case it came up in a pub quiz. Which it hasn’t. I also bought a tube of BBQ Pringles because on the Monday morning Absolute Radio Breakfast Show during the “is it weird that I?” feature, a lass had messaged in saying that she eats Pringles upside down as they taste better that way and I wanted to test this.

Something occurred to me whilst using the self service checkout. Since the rise of these machines you no longer get the kids football teams offering to pack your shopping. Is that still a thing? Although last time I used this service it didn’t go well. I paid the £2 and let them get to work while I had a flirt with the checkout lass. It was only when I got home I saw the horrors within those bags. Items just chucked in. Heavy things on top of bread. White plastic bottles in with mixed colours. It was carnage.

I got home and did a bit of work in the back garden. Josh and his wife Lyndsey had been around the previous day and cleared all the chainsaw debris from the previous year which I was very grateful for. Lyndsey had even neatly placed the to let sign back in the neighbours garden which they had thrown into mine after moving in. Nice to see it go back where it came. Who knew to let signs have boomerang qualities with just a bit of encouragement?

It was pub time. First up was Black Country Arms. Kim’s daughter Holly was serving. She is ace and I hadn’t seen her for ages so that was nice. A few fellow Saddlers were in so conversation flowed along with the ale.

The Tap & Tanner had put out a Facebook post advertising their St George’s Day event, with Strongbow and John Smiths at £1.75 a pint. It was never going to be John Smiths but the Strongbow appealed to me. I love The Tap but barely use it nowadays. The last few visits the service hasn’t been great and the last time was when I went to meet Kev Paddock and Dan Gilbert. Kev gave me £20 upon arrival and said “get the round in”. It took that long to get served that he thought I’d done a runner with his cash. So tempted by the cheap offer I headed in. I got served straight away and forgot the offers ordering Inch’s instead but it was really good.

Next up was Katz. I’d done an event in there on Friday night where I’d delivered over 3 hours of anecdotes about my life to a group of friends. Colin on the bar had helped to set it up and it was nice to have a chat with him about how it went. He said “you’ll have to do another one”. A couple of folk have asked for a second one too. I then came up with the title. “Anecdotes Night II. Return Of The Twat.” I just need some material now.

From there it was the Walsall Arms to meet one of my best friends Woza. The regular Tuesday afternoon karaoke was on, hosted by the amazing local singer Carla Yates. Kerry the lovely barmaid was on looking resplendent in an England football shirt, and the wonderful landlady Jaz was also about being her usual delightful self. I mentioned that I was doing a blog and requested a picture. This turned into quite the photoshoot as Woza tried various angles and distances and Jaz did quality control checks until we got one that she was happy with. Cheers Jaz.

My favourite beer Lemon Dream was on and a buffet was on the bar which was very much appreciated. As is normal for when I meet Woza he couldn’t get a word in as I talked non stop for a good half hour. But we had a good time, planned future blog missions and I even told him an anecdote I’ve never told anyone which was cut from Friday night.

We called it a night about 9pm but what a day it was. Same time next year St George yeah?

P.s Pringles don’t taste any better upside down.

It was an up and out early jobbie last Saturday. I had to be at The Square Peg in Birmingham at 11 to meet Shaz. Shaz is one of my longest standing friends having met her at a concert in 1990 but I hadn’t seen her since the legendary Great Barr day last Summer where it’s fair to say that I reached advanced levels of refreshment. Also I’d not been in The Peg since it reopened after refurbishment so it was exciting all round.

I arrived bang on time and ventured in wondering how the place would look. I find that modern day pub refurbs follow the same blue print. I.e remove any semblance of character and make it shit but this place had kept it’s features which was nice.

I got served straight away and headed for the coffee machine with my mug. Considering how drunk I got last time I saw Shaz, this time I was being good and just having latte’s. I touched the screen, stepped back and awaited my drink. I noticed it wasn’t coming and zoned back into the situation. Unlike the coffee machine in Walsall Wetherspoon this one was eager for more knowledge. Firstly caffeinated or decaffeinated? It’s never going to be decaff is it George? Then hot or cold. I couldn’t cope with this. I have a strict no decision making before midday at weekends policy but I put this aside, sated the machines thirst for knowledge and finally got my drink.

Shaz was already in and we had a great 90 minutes (not often a Walsall fan can say that) catching up, talking old memories and there was even an interjection of a poached egg recipe from Shaz after I expressed my desire to be able to cook those. Last time I tried to cook a poached egg it turned out like a lava lamp. My brother who is a Head Chef in a hotel in Eastbourne more than hoovered up the cooking skills in our family. I can only mash potato when dancing to Do You Love Me?

I went to the bog, and they are very smart. There is a full length mirror by the door which is adjacent to the urinals and I found that with just a small turn of the head I could admire myself whilst in full flow. I pray that I am not the only person to do this.

Shaz ordered a drink via the app, which is a bit new fangled for me. I like going up the bar, especially as outside of work ordering drinks is one of the few times females talk to me. I grabbed another latte and returned.

I’d had the Duran Duran classic New Moon On Monday in my head all day and I kept bursting into the chorus figuring that Shaz wouldn’t mind as she is a big fan of said group. I did apologise but pointed out that it’s their best song. “Actually, that’s Save A Prayer” was Shaz’s response. Now one thing that this blog site of mine is consistently short off is controversial outbursts so thanks Shaz for providing my readers with one. I did point out that we live in a democratic country so she is allowed to be wrong.

Shaz departed as she had missions. I grabbed a hot chocolate as I like value from my refillable hot drink Wetherspoons cup. I was in no hurry. I must point out now ladies and gentlemen that the staying on the latte’s was only a limited time offer while I was with Shaz. Booze was always to follow. The plan was to continue on to Hockley and get the last two pubs in that I needed to complete a blog I’ve been working on since last March but then Craig text asking what I was up to and did I want to meet up later for Walsall beers. I knew that this would involve curry and I’ve not seen Crags since January so sorry Hockley but I was heading back to good ole DH.

I hadn’t planned on being in the house this afternoon so I had some rare settee time and treated myself to “Like You Do” the best of Lightning Seeds album. So many wonderful songs with Sugar Coated Iceberg and Sense being the best two imo. Sense is amazing as is the Terry Hall version of it. Next time I’m in a relationship this will be one of my anthems but then again my last missus was back in 2007 so I’m not holding my breath on that front.

Crags arrived and we headed straight to Walsall Arms, Jaz the landlady was serving which is always a delight, and the music in there must have been tailored to my needs. The La’s, Blur and Kaiser Chiefs all figured. It was very pleasant and we stayed for a second.

Katz was next and we arrived just in time to see the England winning drop goal in the rugby which was nice. They were out of Wainwrights though. I can only imagine someone had cleaned it out by drinking loads of it the day before after Jase, the landlord’s wedding. The main room was busy with an event, with many in attendance including Mel, Jase’s now wife.

We hit the bar. Some men joined us who steered the conversation towards Premier League football which I wasn’t interested in. Craig had set me a challenge to name 20 of the 27 countries in the world where the capital city begins with the same letter as the name of the country, so I went into stand by mode and thought about that. I eventually got about 15 with Andorra (Andorra la Vella) being my favourite although when I mentioned Greenland and not being sure if Nuuk or Godthab is the English word for the capital, this was disallowed as Greenland is a Danish territory not a country. Had this been ruled out by the linesman putting his flag up late the fans would have rioted.

With the Wainwrights off we had Farmer Jim’s pear and passion fruit cider cider which was very good. Craig asked me a question about vegetables. I’m okay with capital cities, vegetables less so be it eating or knowledge of them. I didn’t get the answer which was cauliflower. This would be like asking Superman a question about Kryptonite. Glad I didn’t know it.

We moved on and headed into town The shutter was up on Chambers which used to be Bar Sport which I’ve not managed to tick off since it reopened due to not actually catching it open. Music was playing loudly but as soon as Craig tried the (albeit locked) door it immediately stopped mid song. Someone must have been watching. Quick pretend we’re closed. The little bald prick out the two of them will clean us out of Wainwrights. Please note, as I’ve not been in, I don’t know if they actually do Wainwrights. As we walked away the music started again.

We had a quick pint in St Matts Hall, the Walsall Wetherspoon and there was no latte for me this time.

We ended up in Gurkha Bhojan. I nipped to the loo and by the time I came out Craig had become best mates with the waiter. They chatted about everything. As you know I’m not one for talking to people I don’t know so was more than happy with this. I thought they were going to start swapping recipes at one point. Now that would have got me involved as I now know one for poached eggs.

I had tandoori chicken, chicken tikka massala and cheese naan. The food was amazing with the cheese naan being the best I’ve ever had. Craig paid for the food in exchange for me paying for the taxi back to mine. Terms I was more than happy with.

Splendid day. Sorry Hockley, I will come to you soon and as I write this a week later I still haven’t had poached eggs.

The Registry (formerly Yates’s) in Leicester Street have recently started doing Sunday dinners. I’ve eaten there lots of times before, the current 3 starters for £10.99 is superb and does me for a meal in itself but I thought I’d give the Sunday dinner a whirl.

When I used to eat there on a Monday, post work and pre CAMRA/Friends Of Highgate Brewery meet ups I’d sit on the first table behind the stairs, but on a Thursday it’s always table 14 by the window. I had no Sunday strategy. I pondered the Walsall FC booth but someone was in it, as was a group at table 14 so opted for number 12 in front of the big screen. It had to be an even number.

I hadn’t seen the barmaid before before but she was friendly and efficient and then it was back to the table for menu time.

The turkey is cheapest, then pork and finally beef although a combination of all 3 can be ordered. Sides such as pigs in blankets (yum yum) cauliflower cheese (no thanks George) and stuffing can also be added. You can also ask for more Yorkshire puddings and roast potatoes which is a nice additional option.

I went for pork and although lots of vegetables are included I asked for these to be withheld. The food came out quickly, served by Manager and all round top lad Matt Morris-Higgins. He did query the lack of vegetables but I assured him I was more than happy with what I’d got. The plate was huge. I immediately thought of the episode of I’m Alan Partridge where he moans about the small plates at the hotel breakfast buffet so he takes his own big plate. Well he’d have been impressed at the size pf this one.

As with any meal of this nature the acid test is the roast potatoes. Pleased to say that potatoes in The Registry passed this test. The pork was lovely and the Yorkshire puddings absolutely bang on.

The music was modern stuff but then long time staff memeber and local legend Carl Bob went behind the decks for a second. He must have pressed a button as the music changed to Voice Of The Beehive and Sheryl Crow. All good.

Desserts are available, the honeycomb cheesecake sounded amazing but I opted to be a good boy and miss out on that. I was in view of the the two poles at the front of the dance floor and considered having a few spins round one of those to burn off some of the dinner but there were a few people in and nobody wanted to see that.

There was two real ales on but I stuck to the Thatchers cider which really hit the spot. Dinners are served until 9pm so you can rock up even later than I did and still get fed. The dinner was very yummy and filling. Thanks to all of the staff.

Bek’s is a long established chip shop on Wolverhampton Street in Darlaston. Last year they opened their first franchise with a new shop in Aldridge. This arrangement recently came to an end with the Aldridge store taking on a new name. I decided to revisit both places to see which was best in an exciting head to head, belt busting investigation.

Bek’s. 10A Wolverhampton Street, Darlaston.

I’d been pondering this blog since the break up was announced by both parties on Facebook. Friday the 23rd was pay day. It was drizzling as I left work. I could have ambled home in the rain, or simply crossed the road and jumped on the 39 which would drop me by Bek’s. I gave myself the casting vote and opted for the latter.

This was my 3rd visit to original Bek’s but my first time reviewing it. I’d meant to on the maiden visit but that time I couldn’t get a shot of the exterior of the shop as there was a lass wearing jeans in the window and I didn’t want passers by thinking I was taking a picture of her arse. On the second visit I was just too excited.

There were no customers as I arrived this time so I got served straight away. On the first visit we had the additional entertainment of a drunk version of Mavis from Open All Hours trying to decide what he wanted to order so it was a shame he wasn’t about.

Cheesy Chips leapt out of the menu at me but I’d seen a Facebook post a couple of days earlier boasting of Bek’s new secret thick tasty chicken coating so I went for 2 pieces of that with battered chips. I’m currently trying to see how long I can go without a KFC (day 33 as I type this) so this was an easy decision.

I wasn’t expecting a drink but he handed me a paper cup and pointed me in the direction of the self service machine. I’ve not drank pop in over a year so went for the sugar free option of Pepsi Max as I love that even though the current “make it better” radio ads infuriate me. The meal came to £6.70.

The lad serving was very pleasant and wished me a good weekend as I left, and I love little things like that. The bag he handed me with the food in was huge. Anybody going past would have pointed and muttered “look how much food he’s got. Hope it’s not all for him the fat fuck.”

The food then? Lots of battered chips which were epic and the chicken, well it was two decent sized pieces and I thoroughly enjoyed the lot. If I still lived and worked in Darlaston I’d be here all the time. My Bank Manager and Doctor however are probably chuffed that I don’t.

The Parade, 8 Croft Parade Aldridge.

What was Bek’s in Aldridge is now called The Parade. When it opened as Bek’s myself and a former friend visited on the second day. As I shovelled my food down me he seemed more interested in trying to make friends with every customer that walked in. I remember thinking leave them alone, they want to order their fish and chips in peace then go home and demolish them. I did ponder the following week if there were discussions along the lines of “shall we go to Bek’s again?” “God no, that odd man might be there again.

I arrived this time a bit damp as it was raining. Standard behaviour from Mother Nature these days. A family were being served affording me time to study the menu. I wanted chicken and chips again (a) so I could do a like for like comparison and (b) as I’m still doing KFC cold turkey – day 40 as I write this. I feel like Jesus in the desert.

I appreciate that my eyesight has seen better days but I really couldn’t see chicken and chips on the menu. When I got served the lady confirmed they don’t do it. They only do chicken in nugget, strips or burger form. I don’t mind ordering nuggets in McDonalds but in a chip shop it feels it seems a bit kids menuesque for me so I went for the mini fish. chips and gravy which came to £5.50.

Service was quick and to doge the rain I opted to eat in. All the Bek’s history has gone off the wall to be replaced by a big picture of what I assume to be an American city.

The sexy yellow chairs remain though so I plonked myself down in the same position as my previous visit, I like consistency like that. The music was Heart FM and the first song was “This Love” by Maroon 5, a band in joint second place on my list of artists I’ve seen live the most times so no problem there.

Food was good, fish was amazing and at the bottom of the box was some of those battered bits that are so delish.

This was another good visit and with it’s location a couple of the doors away from the epic Turtles Head micropub it’s a good option when visiting Aldridge.

So which is best? I’m going to go all Harry Hill. I like Bek’s. I like The Parade. “Fiiiiight”. I’m going to cop out to be honest. I saw a reply on Twitter once to the ongoing who is better Ronaldo or Messi debate which was “can’t we just enjoy both?” and that’s the angle I’m going for here.

The Saddlers Club closed a few years ago and lay dormant until last year when work began on refurbishing it and it opened again on Boxing Day to a limited number of customers. Early reports weren’t good with comments being it looked bare and the seating being like a school canteen. It opened again against Wrexham before being given its official opening in January and by now new decor had been applied to the walls to make it look a bit more welcoming to us Saddlers.

Now called The Locker, season ticket holders and participants in the Walsall FC membership scheme can gain entry to the club for free but for all other patrons there is a £5 charge to enter, so it took me a while to venture in but after Tuesday’s dramatic late win over Accrington Stanley it was time to give it a whirl, although this decision was made easier by the club now closing the Bescot Bar after half time.

The foyer, the desk has gone as has the pay phone though the latter I guess being a victim of the times. It looks big and barren now but if any disgruntled away fans want a post match game of Twister with a Walsall fan to try and claim some kind of victory to take home, this space would be ideal. Plenty of room for angry onlookers and handy for the toilets.

I tried to venture in to what was the members room but it was in darkness. Apparently it’s been gutted with the pool room and darts sections now merged into the room.

So into the back room. The raised seating area has gone, as has the carpet and the stage. No soft furnishings now, it’s just hard benches. Paddy McGuinness says in his current On The Beach advert something like his buttocks were built for luxury so he won’t be popping in any time soon.
The bar is in the same place and there were a few people queuing as you would expect straight after the match and they were all served quickly. I joined my ace Niece Amber, Laura and Badge (that’s all I know him as) and it was mentioned that the room is different but feels the same and it’s right. I could still picture the long UTS table that used to run up the middle of the room.

The good thing about this being open and the other hospitality bars being closed post match is it means being able to see people that sit in other parts of the ground which was ace. Even seeing friend of the blog Coxy who I aint seen for yonks.

I got a round in and was looking forward to trying a NoFo beer, a brewery based in Georgia, USA that we all thought were going to be supplying an ale or two in here but it was just the standard fare. NoFo sponsor our training tops and their Twitter account @NoFoBrewCo proudly boasts we’m Walsall in their bio.

Beer is served in plastic glasses but at least they are the sturdy ones and not the type that you can squeeze as easily as dog shit in a poo bag. Please note that I have never done that, it was the first analogy that came to mind.

On to the toilets then. They were still pristine and smelt new. 3 cubicles but I didn’t check the status of door locks and toilet roll levels, having been disappointed by these aspects in the past. Square sinks, I love a square sink and two powerful hand driers. Not quite as sexy as Dyson Airblades but still good. I don’t mind missing out on the Airblades if the difference in cost is put towards signing Dave Okagbue in the Summer. I did want to take a picture of these pristine toilets but by the time I’d dried my hands another user was in. As you know from previous blogs, I get scared trying to take pictures of the outside of take aways so wasn’t going to take a shot of the loos when a man is at the urinal trough with his willy out.

So to summarise, I like the place. Maybe pad the benches and that will help. I’m pondering getting a season ticker for 24/25 so I can use this place at my leisure in the future. Hello, it’s early bird time already. I might sell my body to raise the £350 cost, but it would be worth it.

If you’re heading in The Locker before or after today’s game against Doncaster, have a good un. Come on you Saddlers.

I missed the Walsall v Mansfield match last Saturday, partially because I thought we’d get dicked and because I have a run of busy Saturdays coming up but I wanted to get another Brownhills visit in.

I took a leisurely stroll into town, making a slight diversion to take in Tower Street. I’ve recently joined the gym at the Gala Baths and I know that the exercise bikes in there look out onto the street so I make a point of walking past when in town even if I’m not going in. I like to think that this gives my gym buddies on the bikes something to admire while they are peddling furiously.

I was listening to Emily Dean on Absolute Radio, a lady whose voice I could listen to all day, this wasn’t an option though as she finished at 11 the same time as the number 10 to Brownhills which I made easily.

First up was Morgan’s Coffee Shop for breakfast. I visited this place last February and have been wanting to come back ever since. It was busy but there was a seat at the window. I needed the largest breakfast and mug of tea going and with both ordered I sat down and enjoyed watching the world go by.

There was a good mixture of people in and whilst I’m no eavesdropper there was some hood conversations going on which added to the ambience. The breakfast came quickly and was really enjoyable. It was another successful visit though I had to drag myself away at the end as the home made cakes looked amazing.

I strolled round to The Swan. Great pub but I’ve not been since the pre opening night jolly. As I’ve said before I’m a disciple to Salopian Brewery and they had a new beer of theirs on Broken Promise. Now I’ve received tons of broken promises in my life but this was a first in booze form. I surveyed the pub it was already busy but there was a section that was completely customer free. Perfect. I knew where I was heading. The beer was good and I enjoyed gathering my thoughts after a busy week.

Next up was The Jiggers Whistle. Another reason for today’s mission was to apologise to Colin and Teresa here for dropping out of the recent CAMRA Branch Meeting that they hosted, at the last minute. I grabbed a Green Duck ale and settled down. The music was superb in here, a real cross section of stuff and I liked it all. the highlight was The Housemartins “Happy Hour”.What an absolute tune.

There are no fruit machines in The Jiggers, I don’t play them anyway but I had a go on another type, put a quid in and won a tub of BBQ Pringles. Epic. The Jiggers appears to have the Walsall CAMRA Cider Pub Of The Year award bolted to the place and I always have a pint of cider to reflect this, but this time a curve ball arrived. A man walked in and ordered the Wye Valley 1985 lager, which I’ve not had since Jase had it on in Katz. It’s a beautiful drink, some friends of mine had been to see Bowling For Soup the night before and my favourite song of theirs is 1985, so I took this as beings God’s way of telling me to have a pint of it. So I did. And it was ace.

Shoulder Of Mutton was next. A pub I was scared in on my first visit, but on the second I was befriended by a local before I’d even got through the door and he gave me the nickname Noddy. I enjoyed that and every subsequent visit and this was no exception. Very busy so I perched on a stool at the end of the bar. No football scores show in here. The big televisions were showing either horse racing or the big Rugby Union M5 Derby between Exeter and Gloucester. At this point can I jst mention that I hate the M5? It’s shit.

I checked the Walsall score for the first time and yeah that match we were going to get dicked in? We were winning. The usual Walsalll FC way. Very enjoyable pint in here. atmos was good and there was a women in that reminded me of a lass I’m very keen on. Music was a bit random though and the only song I knew was Sultans Of Swing by Dire Straits which is ace.

I got a message. Josh was driving back from Hednesford through Brownhills and did I want a lift? I asked how long he’d be. He said 20 minutes. 20 minutes? Long enough for two pints. I supped up and dashed out in to the rain that wasn’t happening when I walked in.

The Jack Jigger Taylor is run by the same company as The Tap & Tanner in town so I didn’t need to check the beer range. I got served straight away and Inch’s was in order. Josh messaged to say he was outside. The 20 minutes had turned into about 7. I started necking so it was only a quick visit but long enough for Alex, nephew of the late great Clive Welch to come over to say hello. I’ve not seen him since the funeral so it was good to have a quick chat with him. Highlight of the day.

I met up with Josh, he dropped me off outside Katz and I had a couple of pleasant beers and some Walsall FC chat before heading home a very happy boy.

Friday was a random day at work with me showing off my now slightly developing biceps to my boss Dave and also comments about going up the back passage to the ever wonderful Carole. Half 4 soon came around and it was time to start the 5 day weekend. I was leaving work by a different way and for the first time going up the aforementioned back passage. I can get lost just returning from the toilets in a pub so wasn’t sure of where to go taking this route. Carole had assured me it was straightforward and offered to take me but at half 4 I was still fannying around with delivery notes and folders so I went solo and actually found the way. Sounds soft I know but the 3 Wise Men were going to see Jesus and they needed a star to show them the way so you know, we all need guidance occasionally.

It’s always good when the first post work radio song is a tune, and the Music Gods must have been in a great mood as on came Just A Day by Feeder which is a belter.

I walked along Pleck Road. Someone had decided to decorate the pavement with a pack of playing cards which was jolly nice of them. Some of them were face down and the Ace Of Spades is believed to be a sign of power and authority so needless to say this was one of the ones that evaded my sight.

As I approached St John’s Road, I looked left and right, always follow The Green Cross Code as I’m a good boy and I stepped into the road. A car decided that he didn’t want to wait in the line of traffic waiting at a red light and drove on the other side of Pleck Road before turning into the road I was crossing and I only saw him at the last second. It’s been decades since I read the Highway Code but I’m pretty sure that manoeuvre isn’t recommended in there.

I carried on noticing that the excellent chip shop Mother Hubbards is no more, now called Uncle Phil’s. I’ll have to give that a re-tick when I’m back on the chip shop reviews.

Absolute Radio announced that Duran Duran were coming on. I was at Champy’s just 20 minutes after leaving work. Why, when I work so close has it taken me 9 months to have a post clocking off trip? I stopped to take the obligatory picture and then saw Jo Collins, one of the first people to befriend me in The Fullbrook back in the 90’s. We exchanged pleasantries and she held the door open for me. The Duran Duran song turned out to be Ordinary World, which while a decent tune it’s no New Moon On Monday, so I switched off and followed Jo in.

There is no real ale here so I grabbed a well earned pint of Madri. Truly Madri Deeply indeed. The Fatman Scoop song Be Faithful came on. A song that I think is truly dreadful. I pondered going back outside for a bit of Ordinary World action but thought heading out and coming back in would make me look odd, but when has that ever bothered me? Fatman Scoop gave way to Mo Money Mo Problems by Notorious BIG which is epic. The Music Gods were back behaving.

I sat at a table and the people alongside me got their food and that was it. My nose was in the air like on one of those old Bisto adverts. My great mate “Comedy” Dave arrived shortly afterwards and we wasted no time in heading for the dining area. Me and Comedy both love the crispy chicken wings here, and if we came one day and they were the only things available we would be fine with this.

I managed to sit on a wonky chair and by the time I had fannied around and eventually swapped it the waitress had arrived to take our order. I hadn’t even looked at the menu. The waitress promised to come back. Note to self, get the crispy wings ordered then fanny about with furniture.

I perused the menu noting that a plain naan was £1.50 with a cheese one being £4. I wondered how much cheese I would be getting or did they buy it in from Harrods? At this time of day, a lot of the cheese in Mozza’s has those yellow reduced stickers on. They could easily have sent someone round to the one on the Fellows Park site.

I went for butter chicken, crispy wings and split the difference between the naan breads with the £2 garlic one, commenting that it wasn’t an issue as I would be unlikely to be snogging that evening. There was another hello this time with another Jo this one a lovely fellow Saddler. The food came out and it was epic and Comedy paid for it all which was thoroughly decent of him.

We departed and I noticed that a bus was due in 9 minutes, so I decided I was too fat to walk into town and opted to wait for it. It came 5 minutes early and was soon pulling up outside the Manor Hospital. In my 34 years of working since leaving school I think this is the first time I have been back outside my place of employment 3 hours after leaving it. We pressed on and the bus was in town at the same time it should have been picking me up from outside Champy’s. The driver put his out of service sign on, his lights off and departed. He must have been on a promise.

I opted to go to Katz. There was a kind of bring your own vinyl night going on and as I entered on came Everlasting Love by Love Affair. One of my absolutely favourite songs as a youngster. Pezza and Laura were in which was a nice surprise and Colin the barman who always calls me Andy was standing up the bar. In my excitement at the great song I accidentally called him Andy. Oh well what goes around eh?

Laura shouted me a pint of local brewery AJ’s Snap, Tackle & Prop which was in excellent nick. I went over to sit by Pezza who commented that I smelt like I’d been to Champy’s. Maybe the garlic naan wasn’t such a good idea.

Pezza took a selfy of the three of us to send to Josh. Sorry Josh for cheating on you with your other best Man.

I popped to the Walsall Arms to break up the journey home. Again great music timing was on my side, as I walked in as Working My Way Back To You by Detroit Spinners which is another childhood favourite was just starting.

It was busy in there but I got served straight away, this time a pint of my favourite Lemon Dream by Jaz the delightful landlady as I excitedly explained my love for the song.

I took a seat and was quickly joined by a man who I didn’t know asking me if I was by providing my full name. Turned out he went to my secondary school. He recognised me straight away even though I’ve lost hair and gained weight since I left. I didn’t recognise him or remember his name but he was in there with a lass from secondary school and two from my primary. I remembered the ladies though funnily enough. He introduced me to them all, which was nice as I hadn’t seen them in 3 decades.

It was a shame that I hadn’t bothered shaving all week, was sporting a carrier bag containing my work clothes, wearing a polo shirt that looked like it had been folded and chucked in a bag that morning and smelling like I’d been to Champy’s. What an impression to make after all this time. It felt like I was in an episode of Surprise Surprise. If Cilla was still with us I’d have half expected her to stroll in and start singing.

I had a good chat with him, he told me good news about someone who used to bully me and he bought me a Lemon Dream. All good. When I left school I hated the place so much I only attempted to keep in touch with 2 friends and this quickly petered out. I joined Friends Reunited back in the day but nothing came of that. Friends Reunited? Nice whooooo for Scott Mills there.

Dave rejoined his group, I enjoyed the music so opted to stay for one more. I tried to buy Dave a pint back but he insisted on buying me another. Fine by me.

I had that one and went home. Great and somewhat cheaper night than expected. I’ve now had a shave and smartened myself up.

The Summer of 1997 was an interesting time to be a Saddler. Legendary Manager Chris Nicholl had departed and we hoped to get a big name to replace him. We got who was to be fondly known as Big Fat Jan. Our first foreign manager which was exciting but he had been out of the game a while and had been running a bowling alley if I remember correctly prior to his arrival.

His first friendly was away at Bromsgrove on a glorious sunny day. Early signings hadn’t looked good and when Kyle Lightbourne our star striker who had departed in the Summer appeared in the crowd to watch, Steve Stuart asked if he’d brought his boots.

We won that day 3-1 but I remember little of the game other than when I was sitting on the terrace, just right of the goal eating sausage chips and beans when a wayward shot came right at me causing me to spill beans all down my t-shirt.

We lost away at Mansfield 2-1 which featured an exciting substitute appearance by a lad called Roger Boli. We won’t see him again was the general consensus as we all departed.

It was a pretty uninspiring pre season but we signed Boli which was pleasing. The final friendly was just a youth team jobbie at Bilston. We sat in the main stand just behind Jan and noted him going down to the dugout about 15 minutes in. Oh he’s not happy with something and going to make a change. No, he lit a fag. smoked it and went back to his seat.

The first month of the season wasn’t great. Victories over Exeter in both legs of the first round of the League Cup were the only wins until the last Saturday when the first league win finally decided to come knocking. And what a win it was. Another new signing Jeff Peron put in a ridiculous high cross which people behind me were moaning at but somehow Boli made a connection to it with an overhead kick. Simply one of the best goals I’ve seen live and initially nobody celebrated. Everyone was thinking did we just see that? Boli went on to grab a hat trick in a 3-1 win although coverage of this was lost in the coming days due to the death of Princess Diana.

It was halfway through September when we next won. This time away at Nottingham Forest in the next round of the League Cup. Paul Mitchell had got us a lift with a Forest fan who knew the key info as where to park and drink. A Justin Skinnner header gave us a memorable win at The City Ground. A Forest fan told me in the pub afterwards “you know we’ll destroy in the second leg?”. “You probably will” I replied “but you can’t take tonight off us.”

The home leg was epic, eventually. A packed Bescot, underneath the lights and live on Sky. We went two goals down but a quick fire Andy Watson brace put us ahead on aggregate amid scenes of pandemonium. “What is going on here?” being the Sky commentators puzzled enquiry.

League wins were still at a premium but Sheffield United were dispatched in another memorable night at Bescot in the cup. The cup run ended with a 4-1 loss away at West Ham but another memorable night.

In the 2nd round of The F.A Cup we were away at Macclesfield. The Macc Lads had just come up from The Conference and doing well and unbeaten at home in Division 4 while we were still struggling to win games in Division 3. Steve Stuart drove and we found a great pub. As soon as we walked in a Macclesfield fan fan approached us and asked “is there any good pubs by your ground?” “One or two, why?” we replied puzzled. “Because today is going to be a draw you know that?” Me and Steve fell over ourselves in our haste to accept the draw.

We went 2 up, Macclesfield were reduced to 10 men and we just took control. Jeff Peron put in one of the finest winger displays I’ve ever seen and how he didn’t score still baffles me. He missed one chance and made a donkey ears gesture to us. I asked at 6-0 if 6 was enough to have our score spelt out in letters on the results vidi printer. Nobody was sure. I turned round just as number 7 went in. “Now it will be spelt out.”.

On the way out I commented that Efe Sodje getting sent off had given us the green light to run riot to which Darren Fellows replied “I think you’ll find Sodje starting the game gave us the green light to run riot.” Me and Steve changed our mind about accepting the draw.

Our third round match against Peterborough was called off meaning we would be in the 4th round draw which was something of a novelty. A few of us gathered in The Fullbrook to watch us get Manchester United away. There was a collective cheer then a universal shit as the reality of still having to get past Peterborough hit.

A massive crowd went to London Road that night. A stunning display saw us win 2-0 amongst joyous scenes. I was living with Paul Mitchell at the time and we got home and it was all a bit subdued after a long emotional night . We stood in the Kitchen, not saying much. He fed the cats and it just hit us. “We’re going to Old Trafford.” Renewed joyous scenes.

I worked for a company called Corroy Products at the time and I got on really well with the rep from one of our main suppliers Resisser Screws. They advertised at Old Trafford and he’d said a couple of months earlier that if Walsall ever played at Old Trafford, he would get me in their box. We laughed. True to his word though, two days after the Peterborough game he came in specially to honour his word. I was grateful but turned it down. Everyone thought I was mad but an occasion like that I wanted to be in the stand with my mates.

We lost the game 5-1 to a full strength Manchester United but just seeing us score a goal there was ace. United treated us well and even Alex Ferguson said nice things about us afterwards.

The league season continued to be laborious but another chance of Wembley was looming. The 3rd round of The Auto Windscreens Shield saw us away at Bristol Rovers. I missed that one but but by all accounts it was pretty turgid. Boli hardly touched the ball as it ended 0-0 at full time. Jimmy Walker said afterwards that as the final whistle blew Boli rushed for the changing room and his face dropped when told that there was extra time. It was then explained that golden goal was in effect and next goal was the winner. Pretty much straight from kick off Boli went on a crazy run, scored the winner, asked “ok?” and dashed off the pitch.

We lost the first leg of the area final 2-0 but despite this a large crowed still went down to Bournemouth for the second leg. We went 2-0 up levelling the aggregate but straight away Bournemouth pulled one back. We went 3-1 up and dared to dream but again straight away Bournemouth scored again meaning we lost 4-3 on aggregate and our first Wembley visit was again out the window and a miserable journey home followed.

The league season petered out after that, although a stunning win at promotion chasing Watford occurred along with Peron’s only goal for us in a rare win over Wigan but I think we only stayed up because there was 4 worse teams and he was sacked in the Summer. The cup runs will be forever remembered. Big Fat Jan will always be in Walsall folklore. My mate Stubbsy who was running a cafe in Blackpool at the time and named his largest breakfast after him, and despite the dismal league form he will always be spoken of fondly by Walsall fans. This was apparent talking to folk before and during Tuesday’s win over Morecambe.

He didn’t get another job in English football management and went on to run a pub in the Wilnecote area of Tamworth and for many years my ambition was to go and have a pint with him. I finally got around to this in 2017, taking Blackpool Jane along with me, only to find he had left the pub two weeks earlier.

Thanks for the memories Jan, sleep well fella.