Blog time again. It was going to be another pub edition but I earmarked Tuesday evening as the night for writing it. Unfortunately this was also the same evening as I did my monthly Tesco shop, and boosted by a double reward points coupon I went a bit crazy. Upon getting home and embarking upon a near 40 minute game of Freezer Tetris, trying to get everything to fit, then cooking and eating, it was nearly 8.40 before I got the chance to think about writing, and by that juncture the ship hadn’t just sailed but been given a Norse Burial. So you’ve got a Sunday afternoon penned, chocolate distracted look back at the week.


Friends, Gardens, Beers.
How good has this first stage of lockdown restriction lifting been? Hope you’ve all had chance to have a catch up or two this week. My mate Josh certainly wasn’t messing around, inviting me for food and beer on the first evening. A few cans of dark fruit and a spicy chicken pasta bake were on the agenda, the latter being that good I devoured it in seconds. I must have looked like I hadn’t eaten for days. I was offered more which I accepted without hesitation. The last show I saw before lockdown was Oliver but I didn’t think I’d be reprising the part of the lead role so soon afterwards.


On Saturday I was invited to a first visit to the the new home of mates Mase and Beth. Again cider was on the agenda, accompanied by a bbq which was epic. As darkness landed and temperatures dropped Mase set up the fire pit which was ace. I’ve not sat round a fire pit with friends before so this was a class night, and to top things off, I got the first flush of the toilet after a leak which had robbed a large area of their water supply for about 6 hours. I’ve suggested a blue plaque be erected in honour of this. Anyway, it was ace to see some friends again this week after about 5 months. Now for more good times when the pubs re-open.

I’m a fire and I’ll burn burn burn tonight, to quote Biffy Clyro.


Must Repent, I Kinda Failed Lent.
So I gave up sweets, chocolate, crisps, chip shops and scratchcards for Lent, and by and large I succeeded but there were a couple of hiccups on the chocolate front. Firstly I had a yogurt which I didn’t realise had chocolate sprinkles in. An oversight. I can cope with that. Then one day I saw on Facebook that Morrisons were doing chocolate orange doughnuts. I went straight from work.Willpower is one of my very few strong attributes but it just didn’t cross my mind that I’d given up chocolate. I grabbed said doughnuts, and headed home. Opened the front door and I think I’d wolfed down 2 before I even got through the porch. They were good though. If you’re going to fail you may as well go for it in a big way so I went back the following week for more. Sorry God.

Yeah, cheers Mozzas. Now God is displeased and that’s just what we need at the moment.


Drama By The M6.
Did you see the explosion in the house by the M6? Bit dramatic eh? Especially for the passing car. Thankfully everyone was okay, two people went to hospital but weren’t badly injured which is good. We heard about it on the bus. The driver got out of his cab, said what had happened and warned us of the diversion we would be taking as we were due to pass the site. The explosion had happened only 20 minutes earlier. A couple of people weren’t happy so this was greeted with some tuts and shakes of the head. I don’t know if I’ve watched Airplane too many times but I always expect any announcement on public transport to be met with everyone fighting. Had this happened I’d have been straight over to flatten the bloke who pushes in to get on the bus before me each morning.


5K to No K.
I saw a story this week about a lady who ordered two bottles of perfume but instead got delivered a box of £5000 worth of lottery scratchcards instead. She must have also given these up for Lent as she phoned up Camelot and told them what had happened. They advised her where they should have gone, so she took them round and got no reward. It got me thinking about what would have happened if this had happened to a Walsall bar toilet attendant instead of this lady. Retro would have been full of ladies scratching away furiously at cardboard as opposed to coming back from a piss smelling of Paco Rabanne Lady Million Eau de Parfum for her (yes I had to Google that).


Blackpool Will No Longer Be Lapland?
Something else I saw this week is that Blackpool is going to phase out it’s lap dancing clubs by not renewing licences when they expire. Now I’m not a regular lapper, I’d be crap in Formula 1, but my first taste of this kind of venue was in Blackpool which must have been 25 years ago. I enjoyed the visit but I must point out that I was a good boy and didn’t have a dance that night. Two main reasons. (1) I was short on cash. Much like nowadays but with better music in the charts, and (2) I preferred the glass collector to the dancers, and with a minibus of very thirsty Walsall FC fans in the house she had her work cut and didn’t have time to dance.

That’s it for this edition. One week till the pubs open. We can do this. Stay say folks.