So this fortnights blog was going to be something different but I didn’t quite manage to glean the material to finish it, so guess what? It’s another one about pubs.

I was recently invited out for drinks by Liquid Len (what a name), friend of the blog and one of the few people off Twitter that I have subsequently met up with in real life. We went in The Pretty Bricks and had a pleasant couple of beers, along with a chat with Mark the landlord who was departing the pub after around 10 years.

Before departing I nipped to the toilet, which is standard for me. I was surprised to see a urinal marked as “out of order”. I’m a big fan of something that you just piss into being out of order but fortunately it wasn’t urinal number 2 so I could proceed with my mission. I always go to urinal number two regardless of which pub I’m in. Not a problem usually, only when I’m in the Moon Under Water in Wolverhampton as it’s a long hike to it from the door in there.

I need a piss. That’s bang out of order.

So from there we went to the Walsall Arms. A wonderful pub but one I’d kinda given a wide berth too after getting very drunk in there on my birthday. Fortunately the landlady Jaz was her usual welcoming self so I was reassured that I hadn’t done anything silly whilst a bit out of it.

Whilst in there the full idiocy of the table service rule was laid bare. I ordered two pints, the barmaid popped them on the bar right in front of me but she then had to leave the bar, walk halfway round the pub to hand them to me. I could have been down off my Wimbledon umpire style chair, grabbed them, climbed back up, had a swig and shouted “new balls please” in 5 seconds. Better still if I had a Bo Selecta Mick Hucknall style long arm I could have just reached for them. The beer was good so it was well worth her effort.

On Wednesday I had a little pub crawl and the plan was to visit pubs I’ve not made it to since they reopened. Starting with The Victoria (Katz) which I have been in but not as much as I’d like. Unfortunately they had an issue in the cellar and weren’t opening for another hour so I moved onto The Crown. This is probably the most traditional of pubs within walking distance of Walsall Town Centre and known locally as The Funny House due to the pictures of comedians dotted around the walls. It’s so traditional that when I took a work colleague in last year, when he asked if he could pay by card he got a totally bemused look as if he’d asked if he could shit on the pool table. Well that could be asked in Winter I suppose as this is the only pub in Walsall town centre that still has outside toilets.

The pub has had a makeover during lockdown with new carpet, upholstery, paint job and sadly jukebox. I liked the old style one where you had to press a button and the flappy flappy things (don’t know how else to describe them) rotate and show the song choices.

The outside toilets complete with new hanging baskets and signage.

Anyway upon leaving there I was well ahead of time but behind on pints so I popped into Rock Steady Eddies. My usual port of call when I lived that side of town. Although I hadn’t planned on going in there I had jukebox money on me to appease the B-52’s and also to hopefully give my jukebox nemesis something to whinge about. Unfortunately he wasn’t about, possibly slagging off other peoples musical choices to the bar staff in another pub. So I put the money in a quiz machine for the first time since November. However in my excitement in doing this I suggested as one answer that elephants don’t have tusks. I didn’t win any money.

From there I popped back into The Pretty Bricks as it has now been taken over by Bar (his nickname) who moved on a Bosman from The Black Country Arms to take up this role. It was nice to wish him well, the beer was good, barmaid friendly and the out of order urinal now functional.

Next up was the Butts Tavern. After being asked if had the check in app, and explaining that I don’t as I’m from the 1970’s, then a quick year of birth off with the very friendly barmaid which revealed that she was older than me but still had the app, I found something called a pen, signed in in the more traditional way and took a seat. The pub was beautifully decked out with England flags everywhere, with a lone Wales one for balance. The Butty Bach and cob came to £4.30. Absolute bargain. Where do I sign? Oh yeah, by the door with a pen. I then won £4.30 on a game called Pixel It for just a 50p investment so everyone was happy. Great pub this and it used to be part of a cracking mini pub crawl but now somewhat isolated so I don’t venture there often but it’s always a good visit. Makes note to self. Always go up The Butts when possible.

£4.30 for that. The tomato was removed on government/SAGE advice.

So onto Friday and I hadn’t any plans for the match so was just going to head into town and have a mooch about but then my mate Dan announced there was room on his table in The Registry so I dived on that.

I didn’t take to Yates’s really but since it changed to The Registry I like it much more, even though it’s the same place. There is now some Walsall FC representation so that may have helped swing it, plus I’ve got to know some of the staff of late so all good. Disco Bingo on a Monday afternoon is a must when off work.

Disco Bingo. So addictive. Jumpin’ Jack Flash didn’t come out but I prefer She’s A Rainbow anyway.

On the way to The Registry I was delayed by a cat, Blackpool Jane would be very proud, so I opted to jump on the bus to make up time. Whilst studying the timetable, which was far more entertaining than the match my wonderful neighbours Zoe, Stewart and Ben spotted me as they drove past and gave me a lift. More drinking time and to be fair I was going to need it.

So I joined the table with fellow Walsall FC fans Dan, Josh, Zane, & Coxy and it was epic just to be drinking laughing and singing again with fellow footie fans. Due to the angle of seat and television I kept moving forward and blocking Dan’s view with my mossiv head. He was fine with it but it may have been a different story had the match been a tad more intriguing.

Yesterday I was joined by my mate Craig and we had a gentle amble round town, chatting our usual nonsense and culminating in a couple of beautiful pints of Duck Blonde in a very busy Katz, which was good to see. Followed by an epic curry at Blue Ginger. Rounded off nicely a cracking week off, but back to work and normality tomorrow.

Cheers for reading.