Last Saturday was the final game of the season for Walsall FC. A season that can be best described as a bit poo.

I headed straight to the Bescot Bar as is standard procedure and whilst drinking we were randomly joined by a male porn star. I had no idea who he was. I’m a good boy me so I don’t watch that kind of stuff but I know where to find it should I ever become an MP. Some of the lads knew who he was and it caused much excitement. He stuck around and there were some great lines flying around both from him and the lads, none of which I can put on a family friendly blog.

Dan Gilbert asked him if there was a market for me. I didn’t catch his response but it was a short conversation so I’m guessing it was negative. Photographs with him were required and I was asked to take them. I’m guessing that this is the closest I will get to a porn shoot.

Anyway the match was wank (nothing to do with the porn star), we lost 3-0 and at the end people were just relived that this season was over.

After the game my mate Paul Mitchell had arranged a Walsall fans evening in Birmingham, some of these folks I hadn’t seen in years, others not for a fortnight.

We headed straight to The Trocadero, one of Birmingham’s “must visit” pubs. Service was quick but the £5.05 for a pint of Coors made me wince. I opted to nurse this pint for a while. While heading back to the group I saw Paul’s wife Cara who I’ve not seen for years. We spent about 10 minutes hugging. If there is a list of good ways to nurse a pint, hugging a cracking lass has got to be up on there.

What a pub.

The Troc is a great pub. Always lively but they like their light bulbs in there. I counted 43 from my view and that was with my back to most of the pub. With the energy price cap rise they’ll be regretting that when the next bill comes in. But then again at £5.05 a pint they might be okay.

Paul, Cara and me.

I popped outside to take a picture and on the way back in I saw a sign for the in house pizza and the slogan was slice slice baby. I’d had the excellent new single by Blossoms “The Sulking Poet” in my head all day. Not the whole song, just the “oo la la oo la la oo la la Juliet” bit on a continuous loop. Now though I was guaranteed to be singing “slice slice baby” for the rest of the night.

Sing it with me, “slice slice baby”.

I made the usual visit to the toilets and did a double take at the big screen showing that Brighton were 4-0 up against Man Utd, Due to this double take I nearly walked into the fruit machine. Not a good look in front of lots people. Talking of Man Utd, one of my bucket list items is to have a pint with Harry Maguire. He seems like a top bloke and I think it would be a laugh.

Up The Saddlers.
I have to be front and centre on photos.

We moved on to The Old Contemptibles. They had a beer on called Hat-Trick. As a Walsall fan I’ve not seen a hat trick in years so I jumped on that. It was a cracking pint.

A man I don’t know joined the group and was offering to buy people cigars. Two ladies took him up on this. He didn’t offer me one which I didn’t mind. I’m a non smoker but I did have three cigars around the turn of the millennium and another at a wedding in 2019. I do have a cigar on my bedside table which I intend to smoke after the next time I’ve had a lovely lady round for sexy time, mind it’s that old now it’ll probably fall to pieces when I unwrap it.

Final call of the night was The Colmore, a cracking Thornbridge pub. I’m an absolute disciple to Thornbridge Brewery so this place is always good to visit although it did get negative press on Twitter when @StymieSi was turned away as they were only letting women in at that juncture. His blogs are great so give him a follow. Anyway, our group was now down to just five men but this policy wasn’t in place this time and we were allowed in.

I usually get the last train home but I’m a bit more grown up now so I opt for the safety net of the penultimate train, which I got.

It was an absolutely superb day.