Hello. Apologies that this has gone a bit Star Warsy. Three instalments in quick succession then what feels like decades for the next one. Here are the next 5 reviews.

Y – Yaadgaar, Wednesbury Road. Walsall.

It was a Monday evening, I was peckish and heading to Wednesbury. The buses weren’t being overly helpful so I got one to the end of Pleck Road and walked round to this place. Really unsure of what wares would be available inside I did some homework (cue all my teachers falling off their chairs in shock at that statement), and I’d checked the menu online. I didn’t peruse it long. They do a fish finger wrap? How many takeaways do fish fingers? Motion carried, I was having me a bit of that.

I certainly did make it a Yaadgaar moment.

A lady was placing an order as I strolled in. A second female joined us shortly afterwards and when customer no 1 was finished, lady no 2 went up. The server looked at her, glanced at me then looked back. The lady turned. I gave a sad looking face. “Oh, were you waiting?”. “Yes, but no problem. After you”. “No, you first” she insisted. So I did. To be fair, there was a problem. I was ordering fish fingers and was already looking like I would be late for the pub. This was not a time for messing around.

“Can I have the fish finger wrap and Terry’s Chocolate Orange milkshake please?” With the important part of the proceedings done it was time to look around for material. I saw a sign advising “red donner meat. The 1st in Walsall.” Quite a claim I thought. Whilst still looking around it was time for the 15-1 part where you get the quickfire questions.

“Do you want a meal?” “No”. “Do you want salad on it?” “No”. Do you want chilli sauce on it?” On fish fingers? I thought. I must remember to retch outside at the thought of this. “Do you have any Tartare Sauce?” I asked more in hope than expectation. “We have burger sauce. It’s similar”. “Go on then, thanks”. Final question was “sorry, did you want 3 milkshakes?” “Er, no. Just one will be fine.” I might have shit teeth but I’m not that desperate for Calcium.

It didn’t take long for my goodies to arrive, served by a lady who gave me a lovely smile.. The wrap was ace and the milkshake was really good.

It’s not often I walk past this place but I’m going back to try this red kebab meat and the Skittles milkshake next time.

Z – Zi’s Kebab, Pizza & Grill. Bradford Street. Walsall.

I’ve been in this place before. Most of us have but it’s unticked by me under it’s current name but it was formerly the legendary Kebab Ranch. Oh the memories. Superb curries and also fondly recalling the mid 90’s when Dominic Owen and myself would call in on the way back from the Wednesday night karaoke at Fibber McGee’s for large mixed kebab on naan bread.

It’s open. Run, run!

I’d earmarked this for my Z tick right from the start but then a month or so in it closed down. They taunted me a few weeks later by leaving the shutters up for a couple of days but remaining closed. The one night as I trudged towards it from work it was open. I’d been looking forward to fish fingers all day, home cooked not from Yaargaard but now these were off the menu. I had to get this in just in case they changed their minds and closed again.

I was warmly greeted by the man serving but as I looked up at the menu he gestured towards it and barked “all those are out of date. Everything’s gone up”. I thought he might want to rectify that before the drunken argumentative Friday night crowd rock up.

I opted for the large kebab meat and chips which I think was a fiver. The food was okay but not on a par with the Kebab Ranch days with the man in his green overall with the iron mark on the back. I’m glad it’s back open though.

O – Oregano, Wolverhampton Road. Walsall.

Dave joined me on this visit but he couldn’t wait to tell them they were being reviewed for a blog. He was blabbing before he’d even got through the door. I mentioned to him afterwards that these things are usually done without the staff knowing.

Yay, the crap angle pictures are back.

This is a modern feeling pizza place with 35 standard choices available along with the usual create your own option. I wasn’t feeling particularly creative so I went for number 32 Chicken Supreme. Just chicken on there and no sign of vegetation, an even number too which always pleases me.

It was £12.99 for a 10 inch which I thought was a bit high but then he explained that this was the buy one get one free price. Dave suddenly went a bit odd and decided he didn’t want anything so the man did mine for the “standard” £6.99. I ordered the Ferrero Rocher milkshake but the man explained his sign menu display was out of date and went into a spiel about how it didn’t keep long, not many people ordered it but I quickly stopped listening and went into stand by mode as I contemplated that the ambassador would not be spoiling me.

This place is nice to visit. The wood fire stove takes pride of place behind the counter and it is very satisfying watching the flames while waiting for the food.

There are a couple of ornate benches like you see in parks although none of them have metal plaques on them like those ones usually do. If I shuffle off this Earth soon I’d quite like a plaque on one of the benches. “Evo Boozy Saddler. He loved pizza and this place, even though he only came once” would suffice.

The food arrived quickly and we headed for the 529. I used my belly and the frame of the bus stop to wedge the box into position as I tried to tug a slice free, but then the box started to cave in and the pizza started to slide. I rescued the situation, even making a panicky noise whilst doing so. I’m glad I saved the pizza. Had it gone on the floor and been rendered inedible I would have to deduct them points.

Anyway the pizza was superb. Absolutely delicious. I offered Dave a slice. “What is it?” he asked. “Chicken Supreme”. “What’s on it?” “Chicken” I replied in my most deadpan voice. He really ought to know by now not to ask me daft questions.

Great visit this one and big thanks to my mate Darren Clayton for the recommendation.

R. Royal Punjab, Wisemore. Walsall.

A curry house that opens in the afternoon? That’s my Sunday dinner sorted one Sabbath day I thought. Due to extreme laziness I missed my desired arrival time of 1pm by three hours. Also due to this all I had eaten for breakfast was a pack of Rustlers pancakes and some salt & vinegar crisps. I was ravenous upon arrival and it looked like dabbling with my favourite Deadly Sin Gluttony would once again be on the agenda.

This stylish curry house is set in one of the new build units opposite the main entrance to Tesco. It opened last October with a £1 curry promotion on the first 3 Sundays. I had rehearsals on those days and despite it being unlicensed (a big bugbear of mine) I still wanted to pay it a visit.

I don’t like modern buildings but this one pleases me.

“Table for one please” I said on arrival. The waiter took me across the floor and put me at a table set for two. Then asked “table for 4 was it?” I was a bit confused and had to reaffirm that I was eating on my own.

The kids menu had fish fingers on it. Would they put some on a naan bread I wondered. Would that work? Bacon on naan certainly does. If I asked would they call me a dirty bastard and chuck me out? I opted not to ask.

I went poppadoms, starter and main. Lavish food on me please. I ordered the Strawberry Mohito “mocktail” too. The service was quick. My chicken Pakora starter was out before I’d finished the 1st poppadom. It was superb and at a bargain price too.

And I wonder why people call me a ponce.
The Pakora starter. Not bad for £3.50.

The chicken tikka masala was good too. There was a bit of a wait for the bill but when it finally came the waiter apologised and said it was because the other waiter went for food. This made us both laugh and all was forgiven. I had to deduct a couple of points as there was no complimentary chocolate or hot hand wipes provided at bill paying time but the food and ambience was so good I let that slide. And I had a red Bounty on the way home to make up for the former. Another good visit.

I. ISO Sushi Wok & Grill. Upper Bridge Street. Walsall.

I’ve been in this building during 2 of it’s former incarnations, firstly when it was an amusement arcade and then when it was the splendidly named takeaway Oi Nosh. Although had I eaten a pinball machine when it was the former it probably would have tasted better than the food I had when the latter.

ISO ISO, it’s off to eat I go.

I arrived straight from work on Thursday and this was right out of my comfort zone. I didn’t know many of the dishes. My mate Sean Harris loves this place and he recommended the gyozas. A quick internet search revealed that they contain Chinese cabbage and as I don’t do veg I discounted these. I should have got a second opinion and asked Jeeves. I’m sure he would have given a better answer.

I could have asked the guy behind the counter for advice but as you know, I’m not one for making conversation with people I don’t know so I did more internet before opting for Prawn Nigri and Chicken Fiery Rice. With the added bonus of Coke out of a glass bottle. It’s so much better out of glass along with ketchup and beer.

The Nigri came out first and I was still trying to get the hang of using the chopsticks when the rice came out. I did master the sticks but I don’t think I’ll be catching a fly with them like the Karate Kid anytime soon.

Nigri. The Wasabi was a bit warm.

The rice was ace. I could eat rice all day and this was no exception. It wasn’t that fiery after I asked for that to be calmed down a bit. It had decent pieces of chicken and a really good flavour. I wolfed it down the like The Simpsons eat their food and I didn’t care that I was sat by the window for all passers by to witness.

I’ll deffo return here and next time I will be brave and try a proper Japanese dish.

That’s it then for this instalment. One more to go. My U option has disappeared though so if you know of an eaterie beginning with that letter, please let me know. Cheers.