Author Archives: evoboozyscribbler

It was Friday January 2nd. Back at work. I’d already had 3 days back after Christmas but it’s the first work day of the new year that jars with me a bit. January, and nothing to look forward to. Coupled in with an overnight sprinkling of snow and ice and there wasn’t a spring in my step as I left the house. I hate snow. I don’t get people who love it. Ok it was only a dusting and not ankle deep like the old days but it’s still shit. Apart from being my favourite colour and looking good on Christ,as cards, it brings nothing to the party.

It was a rare quiet day at work though. There was hardly anyone about. Our department is usually a team, of 8 but it was only myself and Manager David in on the afternoon. Even the DPD drivers who enjoy playing me up on a regular basis all gave me a wide birth this day. I had live music to look forward to on the night though and Radio 2 was belting out some corkers.

On the evening I was off to see White Star Line at Katz. Formerly known as Eastlands Grove but I didn’t mange to see them under that moniker. Now as White Star Line, they released their debut single “Leaving For The Summer” on all platforms in November and I finally got to see them when they played at The Locker at Bescot Stadium after the recent match against Shrewsbury. They were good that day so was up for seeing a whole night of them.

There could have been a snag. Anyone who knows me, knows that I don’t watch television and have recently spent two years without a working one until the legend that is Don Mills gave me a curved one. So the night before I’d watched The Traitors for the first time, the opening episode of series 4. It was on again this evening and I was soooo tempted to watch it live as I wanted to know what the murder process involves, but this television has BBC I-Player built in so I opted to catch up the next day, as staying to watch it live would have meant missing the start of the gig. The Faithfuls and Traitors could wait a bit longer for me to engage with them.

It was still snowy/icy as I left. Advancing towards St Matthews Church, I had the best idea ever. I know. I’ll cut across the grass. No chance of slipping on grass. Much safer. Unfortunately I was so focused on the grass, as I walked where cars are usually parked, I encountered a snag. I would call it a pot hole, but that would be doing it a disservice. It was more like a creator that the surface of the moon would be proud of. Didn’t see it, and almost went flying as I stepped into it. Stick to slippery pavement next time.

The gig had started as I arrived. The pub was busy, White Star Line had attracted a good crowd. I know lead singer Tolly and his dad Andy as they are fellow Walsall fans and also at work at the Manor Hospital.

The first person I saw on the way in was a lass from school, who I hadn’t seen since that era. Bear with me as I don’t understand my own family tree, let alone others but I reckon she is Tolly’s auntie. Nice to see you again Kathryn.

Also in the crowd were Tomo and Sue. Both fellow Walsall fans and also big supporters of our pubs and local bands. Always a pleasure to see them.

We had some classics like “Up The Junction” by Squeeze, “Supersonic” by Oasis and a great Beatles song that I don’t know the name of. “Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you, tomorrow I’ll miss you.” I hate having gaps in my music knowledge.

Drummer Jack was giving it portions and joining in with backing vocals. The usual guitarists was ill, and they are looking for a new bassist so Tolly’s brother Monty is helping out on that front. Apparently he’s not been playing long so was standing in on the songs he knew, fair play to him. Did a great job.

Tolly was sporting a Stone Roses t-shirt and I wondered how long it would take to get one of their hits and “Waterfall” closed the first set.

During the break I had a chat with Tomo. Walsall FC, pubs and the band were all discussed. He knows the subjects to wrangle dialogue out of me.

We didn’t have to wait long for more Stone Roses action as “Made Of Stone” kicked off set two. Adouble header of The Beatles with “I Feel Fine” and “Here Comes The Sun.”

The crowd were buoyant and bouncing. I almost didn’t have room to air drum or guitar. They were lifted even higher with an epic rendition of “Eton Rifles” which I predicted as winner of my Song Of The Night award. This was immediately usurped by Buzzcocks “Ever Fallen In Love (With Some You Shouldn’t Have?)” Seriously what a tune, and they played it brilliantly. So have I ever fallen in love with someone I shouldn’t have? I hear you ask. Funnily enough yes. Mostly Walsall FC loan players with January recall clauses.

A friend of the band was summonsed to do tambourine duties with Tolly announcing “it won’t be as epic as usual as hes driving tonight. Be like sober Bez” and as Monty was stood down for the second time of the evening he got shouts of “sacked in the morning.”

We had a rendition of “Leaving For The Summer”, the bands debut single released in November and available on all platforms. They’d love it if you could give it a stream on Spotify. The band t-shirts were also plugged, with the comment that money from them would go towards more studio time. Sadly I didn’t buy one as I’ve still not yet decided on the size of my Summer body but I will get one lads, I promise. Plenty in the audience were sporting them though.

An encore was demanded and consisted of Sally Cinnamon. Sally Cinnamon is the original Spice Girl for me. We also had “Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now” and the night was rounded off with another rendition of “Leaving For The Summer.” Class night and I thoroughly enjoyed it. My resolution for 2026 is to see more live music, so this got me off to a flyer.

Pleasantries were exchanged with drummer Jack in the toilets, I’ve never spoke to him before and he’s a top lad, as well as Monty, Tolly and Andy.

I walked home, (avoiding the crreator this time)and I caught up with The Traitors the next day. All I can say is White Star Line, you have another faithful.

Greetings. It’s been a while. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my month off from blogging but let’s get back to it. Did I do any of the other writing I was going to do whilst this was on hiatus? Of course not. Oh well.

Last Saturday local band Reasons For Admission were playing at the recently reopened Drunken Duck pub in Walsall Wood. I knew singer Suzi’s parents Bob and Anne from The Fitters Arms, and I’d not seen this band before so I suggested it to Woza and off we went.

First port of call was the Brickmakers Arms. Only been in here once previously, with Blackpool Jane back in 2015. Thus I asked Woza to lead the way and take me here first.

First thing I noticed was how cheap the cobs were at £1.40. So I asked what they had and the friendly barmaid read them out and it was quite a range. She had me with the first one turkey and gravy but as she read the lot out I also had a ham and cheese one as a chaser.

Televisions were showing Chelsea v Aston Villa and I missed the winning goal as I was putting change back in my wallet. Nice to know I can miss goals at Premier League level as well as at Walsall. We had a decent chat and moved on.

I looked longingly at KFC as we strolled past it. I’ve not had any of the Colonels goodness since the one in ASDA in Walsall town centre closed, and I hadn’t been in there for about 8 months before it shut as they missed things off my order wrong twice on the bounce (and I’m too polite to moan). There is a link there that I can’t quite put my finger on.

I saw a curry house called Simla. Woza said “there’s one of those by me that’s just the same as that.” I knew where he was going with that.

Next up was The Boatmans Rest. A pub selling Indian food and it smelt amazing and I did recreate the Bisto advert nose in the air and sniff as we hit the bar. The barmaid was great and very friendly asking what our night entailed. Woza paid for the round with his phone which really threw me. Not seen him do that before and I think I’ve only ever seen someone do it once before. So I queried it. The barmaid laughed and said “it’s the way forward.” I replied. “I still pay for things by cheque. Good job it’s not my round.” She laughed but I doubt she has ever had a payment by cheque. I might go back next week, order a mossiv mixed grill and pay be cheque. I’m sure I’ve still got a cheque guarantee card in the loft.

Conversation in here was somewhat varied, from Woza telling me he once had sprout curry in Pontefract. I went all Catherine Tate saying “They were serving curry…with sprouts. This were in Pontefract. The dirty bastards.” If he’d said he had cauliflower curry, I’d have gone to the loo, climbed out the window and abandoned him.

I asked him what he was doing on Friday. He replied “when’s Friday?” “It’s the day after Thursday.” I replied. I nearly went all Airplane on him and followed up with “but that’s not important right now” but didn’t. He claimed he was reiterating the question, as he wasn’t sure what I’d said. There is always an odd chat with him. He went on to say he didn’t know what day it was. I haply confirmed that it was Saturday although it really didn’t feel like it with Walsall FC not playing.

We moved on to The Drunkenb Duck. It recently reopened after a spell closed and it was just so good to see it lit up and open again. When I sat outside on August 11th eating chips from Walsall Wood Fish & Pizza Bar for this review, I feared it might not reopen as most pubs tend not to nowadays. It was warm and busy as we walked in. A good sign.

The barmaid was great although my half a pint of Diet Coke seemed to cause some issue with the till and another colleague had to help. I like to think it was the first soft drink they’ve sold since reopening. My mind drifted back to 2018 and the time Mase and I stopped by at The Swan And Mitre by Aston railway station which had reopened the week before after many years of closure. He asked for a pint of Strongbow and it was the first request they’d had for it and it caused a right kerfuffle.

Anyway, I’ve always loved The Drunken Duck. Think my first visit was in 2008 and that was with Woza. It set the tone for more great visits. A Sunday afternoon rave with smoke machines in the company of Blackpool Jane also leaps out from the memory vault.

We made the start of the gig, and were treated to”Video Killed The Radio Star” (first and now final song to be played on MTV) – not the first time that Woza and I have heard this live having enjoyed The Feeling play it at The Civic Hall and also on a very wet evening at Cannock Chase. We had a rocked up version of “You’re The One That I Want” from Grease. Classics like “7 Nation Army”, “All The Small Things” and if you remember my Blackpool blog, you know how much I love The Beatles “Come Together” and this went down a storm.

During the interval we met Anne, Suzi’s mom. I’d not seen her since she stopped going in The Fitters due to the smoking ban. She presented us with pork pie which was great. I’ve not had it in over a year after having a crap one in a pub so that was pleasant.

The second half was just as good. People were singing and dancing. I had a lass rock up alongside me, who opened a live stream on her phone and she moved it across to put me on it. Honestly hope it made me go viral as this blog site hasn’t just yet.

A chap befriended Woza towards the end. He briefly tried to engage me but talking to people isn’t my thing. The Ghost Of Christmas Yet To Come is more chatty than I am. Plus I was rocking out. Final song was by Black Sabbath which people had called for. An absolutely superb show. Loved it. Reasons For Admission are playing at The Victoria (Katz) in Walsall town centre on January 10th if you want to see them. Nice to see people I now in there too like Adrian and Eileen. Hope they enjoyed it as much as we did. “99 Red Balloons” was Woza’s song of the night.

Becky (Mrs Woza) turned up outside and gave me a lift home which I was overjoyed with. Thanks Becky if you’re reading.

Reasons for admission to Walsall Wood? There are plenty. Foodelicious is a great cafe, Walsall Wood Fish & Pizza Bar is class, there is KFC and The Brickmakers, Boatmans Rest and The Drunken Duck are all worth a visit. I shall be reviewing one of the curry houses soon too.

Last year Craig and I were strolling into town and he asked how many pubs I’ve visited in my life. Well there is 1200 odd just on the 3 pub challenges that I’ve done, then I mentioned some of the local ones that closed before I started the pub challenges. So here is a list of all the pubs and clubs in the borough of Walsall that I’ve been in since I started drinking in 1992, that have now perished.

I’ll throw in a thought or anecdote for each one, if memories allow. If possible I’ll put the last visit. Some of these memories will be from Pub Challenge notes. I’m bound to miss two or three pubs (I only remembered to include The Navigation in Birchills during the edit last night) and there may be some that I don’t know have closed. Ones that I believe to be a one visit wonder will be marked **.

A lot of these pubs will have been ticked off under Pub Challenge conditions. For context Pub Challenge 1 was between 14/08/10 – 13/08/10. PC 2 01/03/15 – 29/02/16. PC3 01/07/17 – 30/06/18.

All shots used are with kind permission of Gilbert Anson’s Black Country Safari Facebook page, unless otherwise specified. Late edit, I’ve added 8 pctures from https://www.pubsgalore.co.uk/ These will be identifiable from the branding on them.

It’s quite a lengthy list, so grab a cuppa or a pint before proceeding. It’s the last blog for a while so take your time and reminisce a bit.

Central Walsall.

Fitters Arms. I could write a book on this place. It’s where I met one of my best friends, Woza and there will never be a pub like it again. I DJ-d here, presented quizzes, danced, laughed, nearly pulled, ran up and paid off hundreds of bar tabs. A truly magnificent place.

Littleton Arms. Rock pub needlessly flattened. Was on a first date once and the lass asked to go here. Music was loud so we couldn’t talk so had our first snog instead. Probably my favourite memory of the place.

Builders Arms. Only went in a handful of times, despite its close proximity to town. Standard but decent pub.

The Black Swan. Now we’re talking. What a place. Started going in when it was Berni Inn but as The Black Swan it really came into it’s own. World Cup 98 was mostly watched in here. The conga round the pub when we beat Colombia stays with me.

Pen & Wig. The urinal bowls mounted onto a trough urinal meant you really couldn’t miss. The double chance urinal as I called it. Great place. More recently The Lounge. What a place this was in the 90’s.

Colliseum. Pound a pint afternoon happy hour meant more than the occasional visit after jumping off the 334 from Bilston after a hard day at SciChem. Of course I got to know the barmaid Angie at this time. I took my then supervisor to Club X upstairs one night, saying I’d only been up there once. Angie addressed me by name and asked if I was having the usual. He was like “you said you’d only been here once.” He wouldn’t have it that I knew her from downstairs.

The Brewery Stores. Never went as Punch & Judy but was a regular when Highgate Brewery took it on and made it The Brewery Stores. The cellar bar was epic. Saw The Animals there and we did not have to get out of this place.

Stein Bar. Heard a whisper that someone wants to reopen this and it would be great. Superb place and different to what Walsall had at the time.

Balloons. Wednesday night karaoke was legendary in here. Pretty sure I first met my mate Chris Steele at one of these back in 2012.

R1 Bar. Not everyone’s cup of tea but I loved it. Walked in one night and you could smell the toilets from the entrance. The buffet was right outside them and we turned it down. Only time I’ve ever turned down a buffet.

Cuckoo & Bell. Meeting Walsall FC legend Jorge Leitao in here wins this place’s memory hands down.

The Prince (Blucher). Great place and used it loads. Went downhill towards the end but the building is still unused so who knows. Talk of it becoming a steak house died down yonks ago.

Imperial. Loved our Sunday evenings in here when you could sit to the right of the bar in that little seated area. One barmaid was having a bad night as the Carling was off and people kept asking for it. “Next person who asks for Carling, I’m gonna hit them.” Me and Graham loved this and we monitored. They did and she didn’t. Walsall town centre’s first Wetherspoons and still the better of the two in my opinion.

The Starting Gate. Last time in here I was with a lass I’d bumped into on Park Street and we wandered here. We were chatting away then stopped and looked at each other like on soap operas. We moved closer for a kiss. Then she moved her hand up, and knocked my pint all over me. I had no more cash so had to go. Never saw her again.

Tavern In The Town. My first illegal pint, two months befoe I turned 18. Didn’t go in again until it was Bushwackers – which I was a regular at.

Hogshead. Took forever to open along with Yates’s and was always decent. No specific great memory just never a bad visit.

Scooters 2. The former Lost Lounge Club and I only went in twice but what a great place.

Chicago Rock Cafe. Seeing Bad Manners perform here is the best memory of this place.

Milligans. Loved this place, didn’t quite get it as Aruba and Manhattons was great.

Gasp & Baileys/Revolution. No particular stand out memory.

Modus Vivendi. Probably the last of the wave of new bars to open in town. Went a couple of times but was a bit pricey.’

The British Oak. Great pub. Closed for refurbishment in 2012 and never reopened.

Horse & Jockey. Bloxwich Road. Only went in a handful of times despite living close by for a bit.

Rock Steady Eddies. What a place. Closed earlier this year, quite suddenly. Got to know a few folk in here over the years and it got a good send off on the final night.

The Tapsters At The Sportsman. My great friend Cara got a job here back in the mid 90’s and I went along when she had her interview. So me and Paul Mitchell became regulars when she was working and it was where I first met Villa Chris and Ivan. Saturday night disco with local boxing legend Peter Till DJ-ing with The Mavericks “Dance The Night Away” as standard. Good times.

Alumwell.

The Forge Hammer.** Went once mid 90’s when Jo Collins in The Fullbrook said her and her friends were going and did I want to join them? Yes. Walk past the site of it every day now as I work at Manor Hospital.

Belle Vue. Two visits here. One not welcoming and the last time when Jen ex Walsall Arms landlady had it so it was much more pleasant.

Highgate/Caldmore.

Duke Of Wellington. Legendary pub which I only started using regularly the year before it closed when I lived on Lysway Street. Joy the barmaid was great.

Dog & Partridge. Would be the closest pub to my house if still open. Anotehr great place. Had a few in here but closed before I moved in here.,

White Lion. What a place. So many post Walsall match beers. When they refurbed the toilet and put a portaloo in the garden I decided to see if it was quicker going to the loo in the garden from the bar, or nipping to my then flat across the road. Garden just edged it. A fight to save this place continues and I wish Friends Of The White Lion all the best with this.

The Cambridge. Used this lots but got converted into a nursery due to the chronic shortage of empty buildings in Walsall.

Liberal Club. Last visit was an emergency pit stop due to an unexpected downpour. I was soaked and everyone else dry and dancing around vigorously.

Old Kings Arms.** Just myself and Woza in but we had a great chat with the lad behind the bar.

Crown & Anchor. Went in a few times in the 90’s. Stood empty for years and I bemoaned it’s conversion into a pharmacy until they had something on my prescription recently that another place didn’t.

Delves.

The Delves.** Cheating here as it was about 1989 Swill and I went here for a Walsall fans action group meeting.

Pleck.

Royal Oak.** Celebrating a 6-1 win over Bristol Rovers, and a very friendly barmaid rushed to serve me.

Brown Lion.** Went once, late 90’s when it got added to the Highgate Brewery estate. Couple that used to run Fibber McGee’s had it, and were very welcoming. Fire was filling the room with smoke so only had 1.

Four Horseshoes.** Called Gabba’s Bar at the time of my visit on PC1, same day as Royal Oak. Barmaid couldn’t understand my request for Becks. (Couldn’t understand it myself in hindsight.)

Bescot.

George V. Still open as a restaurant but not a pub anymore. Quite a few pre and post match beers in here as the George but I’d have loved to go in here post match from Fellows Park.

Darlaston.

White Lion.** When I worked at Corroy Products my colleague Marie (who I was very keen on) and I set off on a quest to find our Darlaston “Friday dinnertime pint” pub. This was our first mission. It didn’t win (the still open Horse & Jockey did).

The Vine** Had no idea this place existed until I was doing PC1 research and found it. Really tucked away but it was a great visit and I was even brave enough to have a flirt with the barmaid.

Alladins Lamp.** I’d completely forgotten about this place until I checked my PC1 notes. My only comment was that it was an odd place.

Railway Tavern. Lived around the corner for 5 yers so went in a few times. World Cup 2002 for a random match with Steve and Jane was my last visit I reckon. Senegal were playing if that helps. They are now building a railway station behind where it was, with trains apparently not going to Walsall. Makes sense.

Fallings Heath Tavern.** Me, Marie and Luke from Corroy went once. Landlady stared at me the whole time and not in a “ooooh, look at him. Isn’t he hunky?” way.

Springhead Tavern. Used this a lot when I lived/worked in Darlaston. Alwways good but on my last visit, to get my Black Country Ales trail stamp, it was just myself and the DJ in the back room. Which was awkward.

Prince Of Wales. Probably my first drunken state. I’d been drinking less than 2 years and still hadn’t learned the ropes. Corroy Products Christmas break up day drinks 1994 got messy. I fell down the steps outside. Not good. Other visits were epic though especially when my former colleague Nick ran it.

Vault Bar.** Short-lived venue in the former Midland Bank venue. Went on PC1. Took longer to get past the two bouncers than it did to get served. Music wasn’t to my taste.

The Victoria.** Another one on Marie and mine’s tour. She read the rules to some pub game as I got the drinks and had never heard of the concept of a player being scratched. Wondering if they brought a cat in to do the scratching. This amused us both greatly.

The Royal Exchange** Random one time visit with Corroy colleagues Nick and Carl. Can’t remember much as it was mid 90’s.

Frying Pan. Went in a few times and always liked it. My plan if I ever won the lottery was to build a pub next door called The Fire. So people could jump out The Frying Pan….

Short Heath.

Brown Jug. We came here a few times when Martin Purchas was DJ-ing.

The Bridge.** Pretty sure this is a one hit wonder. PC1. My otes say that a bloke in here knew me, but I didn’t know him. This happens a lot.

British Oak. I know I went in with Steve Stuart but can’t remember much. We now tend to stop off at it on a Friday evening when Josh drops his wife Lyndsey to work, as it’s a Tesco. She doesn’t work there. It’s just a pit stop en route.

Willenhall.

The Falcon. Legend of a place. I nearly got a dart in the side of my head on my last visit as the dartboard was behind the door I was walking through.

The Castle. Great place. If I remember correctly, it got hit by a lorry then caught fire the next day. Such a friendly place. I’m not really good with people that I don’t know but always found someone up for a chat in here

The Malthouse. Willenhall’s Wetherspoons. Liked it in here as my mates Adam & Joe worked behind the bar.

Barrel And Shive.** Popped in once when I heard it had reopened after a few years closed. I don’t think it lasted long.

The Old Oak.** Last pub of a lively pre Christmas tour of Willenhall in 2010. Asian pub, very lively and still serving food at 11.30pm. Great place.

The Acorn. Only two visits to this place, first time the singer was stunning in lookds and voice.

Prince Of Wales. Loved this place. You had to go through the bar to get to the toilets. Never seemed busy but always a good visit.

Leamore.

The Crown. This was closed for a long time then reopened and I got to know the owner Nick so popped in a few times. Nick now own The Broadway Bar in what was The Crest Hotel on the Broadway.

Blakenall.

The Green Rock.** Pub Challenge rules state one pint per pub but we liked this place so much we stayed for 2.

New Inn** PC3 visit and according to my notes I was stared at, but I loved a sign advising that people taking their own beer in, would be barred.

Bloxwich.

The George. Great place. Always included in any Bloxwich crawl.

The Thatched House.** Went once on PC1. My notes say nice barmaid but a very starey bloke.

The Stag. What at a place. Had my 26th birthday party here, and was a regular when Jenny was running it. Needlessly flattened for housing.

Tinkys (Turf Tavern). Marty McFly wouldn’t need to go back to 1955 if he went in this place. Great pub, but you got the house rules upon arrival and woe betide if you tried to take a picture. Didn’t reopen after Covid but we remain in hope that it will one day.

The Bell. Felt uncomfortable on my first visit but grew to love it. Apparently they want to turn it into a shop. Just what we need at the end of Bloxwich High Street, you know, that long line of shops.

The Royal Exchange. Had an unwelcoming experience from the landlord decades ago so avoided it for a long time and finally made it back on PC2 just before it finally shut for good.

Station Hotel.** Woza took me in years ago but can’t remember much about it. The Hatherton grabbed my attention much more that night and remains a favourite.

The Victoria. Formerly Wilkes’ Club. Closest boozer to Swill’s gaff, so we went in regularly. Usually samosas on the bar which was a bonus. Swill’s wife Chante had her 40th here which was legendary, and my favourite time here.

Brownhills.

The Anchor. Always lively and usually last port of call before the 10 bus back to Walsall. Last time though with Mase and Gough it was strangely empty.

Chase Inn. This was such a cool pub. Apparently the locals hope it will reopen. Hope so.

The Royal “Middle” Oak.** Can’t remember when but Woza took me once. 1930’s Art Deco style pub which looked great in its day but now just left to rot.

Waterside. Tucked out the way and I only discovered it when doing PC3 research. Apparently I loved the bogs and the bar staff. I made a point of going back, but gutted I didn’t make one last visit upon notice of its closure.

The White Horse.** According top the PC2 notes, myself and Woza were sat in the dark, talking about eyebrows. Probably not my most random conversation.

Walsall Wood.

The Black Cock. Why did it take me until PC2 in 2015 to discover this place? Great first visit and superb every other time. Gutted I missed out on one last visit before it closed due to a now former friend cancelling the day out. Went a week later with other friends but we’d missed it. Sad loss this place.

Horse & Jockey. Had some good disco visits here in the 90’s then it went foody. I did love Sunday dinner with the family back in the day.

The Royal Exchange. Always a good pub but on my last visit with Sean and Madels it was cut short by UB40 coming on the jukebox.

Bentley.

Lane Arms. Loved this place but only really started using it regularly when it became a Highgate pub. The quiz was a bit odd with one of the teams allowed to bring encyclopedias. We didn’t manage to beat them and gave up.

Highgate Hall**. Another one hit wonder, when it became a Highgate pub, given the number 9 in the estate and name changed from Old Hall. Eventually flattened.

The Academy. My favourite memory of this place needs to be told in person. Ask me.

Chuckery.

Spring Cottage. Probably the newest addition to the list. I walked past on it’s last night and didn’t go in and that will haunt me forever.

The Park Tavern. Used this loads and was our base for 2002 World Cup. Last visit was in 2010. Busy with England match on. Barmaid took my order (for drinks), disappeared and walked out of Kitchen 10 minutes later with food. We walked out and went to The Myvod for the 2nd half.

The Butts.

Butts Tavern. Met my ex missus in here but there was lots of good times too. Its final night saw it rammed but the fave memory is of a minibus of us Walsall fans arriving after a pub crawl of Bedford, all sporting 80’s pop star style wigs as we heard it was a fancy dress party of that decade. It wasn’t fancy dress at all.

Hatherton Arms. Loved this place. Barmaid once wanted a three some with me and Woza. It didn’t happen. The two of us DJ-d here once. He only played 2 songs, one of which he knew I hated “Whole Of The Moon.” My last visit and they were selling cans of beer from the shop down the road, and a very pissed lady was singing Sheena Easton on the karaoke, which was most entertaining. If she’d have performed “Modern Girl”, I’d have been up there with her joining in.

Birchills.

The Navigation. Remember heading in here one Halloween as I got back to my road and trick or treaters were running riot, so I “popped” to The Navvy for one and waited for it all to blow over. Enjoyed it that much I stayed 3 hours.

White Horse. Considering that I lived around the corner from it for 5 years, I didn’t use it much. Last visit was with Swill and his dad. We played darts. I may look like Michael van Gerwen but I don’t play like him. I was soon put on scoring. I’m no Rachel Riley. I was shit at this and was berated, in the end I wrote “fuck off” on the black board, grabbed my int and marched off.

Rose & Crown. Main memory of this place was Mase helping me prepare for a speed dating night at The Light Cinema, by planning some female characters. It was odd and hilarious in equal measures. The speed dating got cancelled because not even men had applied. Sounded ideal to me. This place reopened as a fancy cafe. eventually got an alcohol licence but word reaches me that it has closed again

Birchills Tavern. Only went once or twice and don’t remember too much about it to be honest.

Palfrey.

The New Inns.** Went once, for the engagement party of a lass that I really fancied. Good night though.

Station Street Club.** PC1 visit and my notes simply say that there was an old bloke playing snooker on his own. Knowing me, I would not have offered to play him.

The Royal Oak. Kind of a sister pub to locals in The Fullbrook so exchange visits were common. Last time in here was after we beat Stoke in the play offs in 2001. And it was rammed and bouncing.

Pelsall.

The Old Bush. Oh the days of the Pelsall Villa v Walsall youth team friendly in Summer, and being allowed in here for pints to drink whilst watching the game. Class times.

Red Cow.** Great sign in here advising “tonight Matthew, I’m going to be seriously drunk.”

Free Trade Inn.** Went once for a Walsall fans meeting around 1998. Can’t remember much of the pub or even where it was (I got a lift.)

The Swan Inn. Was a sister pub to The Brewery Stores in town when it became a Highgate pub and had the same menu and licensees. Great pub but I’ve not been since it became an Indian restaurant. Might have to do a review.

Aldridge.

The Bowman.** Spotted it tucked away down a side street whilst on the 997. Woza took me on PC2. Won twice on Pointless machine. Which was nice.

R1 Bar. Went a few times. Liked it. I don’t get to Aldridge often so it may have reopened but was closed last time I was about.

The Cedar Tree.** Whilst a regular in The Lazy Hill, I’d never been in this place. I told the group that I was with this. I was told “it’s scary in there.” This made me want to go in. Took them all in. Liked it.

Rushall.

The Miner’s Arms.** Woza took me once. He really doesn’t like me having unticked pubs. Felt like a regulars pub which I had no issue with. Decent enough. Shame I didn’t make it in again.

So, I think that’s it. Can’t help but think of the ones that have closed in this period that I didn’t manage to tick off like The Orange Tree, Fountain (Portland Street), The Bell (Stafford Street), The Forge on Pleck Road, The Tannery (feel like this was a big miss), Hamemakers Arms, The Cottage (Wolverhampton Street) and Bulls Head (Bloxwich). The Boat in Darlaston is apparently a shocking miss on my part. There must be loads more.

Not included The Fullbrook, Fibber McGees, or Rushall’s Royal Oak in that list as they are still open although more food based. I must also mention The Three Crown on Sutton Road which I went in a few times, but didn’t know where to put it on the list Geographically.

We’ve lost shit loads of pubs, and I feel it’s going to get worse.

Friends of mine will happily testify that I am partial to sending out a random message. Sometimes I receive them like recently when Swill got in touch, admitting it was random but asking if I wanted to join him at a gun firing place in Leamore. I agreed straight away throwing in asking if I could provide my own targets.

Swill has fired a pistol in America but it’s totally new on me. Other than a water pistol as a kid which I was an expert with, and a Laser Quest gun in the 90’s but that’s about it. I turned down the group Paint Ball day when I was at SciChem for two reasons (1) I heard it hurt and (2) I couldn’t be arsed. I was possibly being a tight wad too.

I never even bothered with those guns that you got in seaside arcades back in the 80’s when hitting targets made things happen, like a toilet shed door opening to reveal an old man on the throne. But this was a rare chance for me to earn some man points and I wanted in. We agreed that he would pay for the shooting and I’d sort the curry afterwards. I could certainly deal on those terms.

Swill mentioned that one of the guns you can use is like the one that Bruce Willis uses in Die Hard. Now not long ago, one of the waiters in Golden Moments mentioned that I looked like said actor. I considered buying a white vest so I could really look the part but like most things in my life, I didn’t get round to it.

I was off work on the day and started to compile a gun themed play list to stick on while getting ready. I only got as far as “Janie’s Got A Gun” by Aerosmith and “Guns Don’t Kill People, Rappers Do” by Goldie Lookin Chain. I played the former.

Swill picked me up and off we set. We were soon at Double Deuce in Leamore. We were given our safety briefing, and in we went. We had M4 Rifles with 20 shots of live ammo each. These went in no time whatsoever. Almost as quick as the shots that I am normally used to. It was great fun. We still had another 25 minutes of our slot. Swill asked if I wanted to go again. I said no to try and keep the cost down for him but he offered to get another gun, 20 more shots and we go halves on them. Go on then. He went off to choose the next gun and I pondered sourcing a pair of sunglasses and going round asking people if they were Sarah Connor.

He came back with a Ruger sniper gun. I took my turn and was firing slowly but then heard a bit of rapid fire from the alley next door and I thought ‘I’ll have me a bit of that’ and I blasted out three or for shots in quick succession. It was at this point I went full Die Hard with my favourite line “yippee-ki-yay mother f*****” going through my head, which really made me laugh. I must have sounded like a maniac.. Apparently I did and Swill took to Facebook to say that, as well as I was like a hitman sniper in a video game. More like the hitman from The Hitman And Her tv show was my thought.

It was soon all over. I got some right hits, which Swill tried to claim was him firing at my target. This was quickly dismissed.

Great fun and just so good to do something different. We left, Swill parked up at his house and we headed to The Bloxwich Showman, with me still clutching my target, which must have looked a bit odd, even for a Wetherspoons.

We jumped in an Uber, which was playing Lady Gaga “Dead Dance” courtesy of Heart FM which is one of the most random taxi songs ever. We were heading to The Soho Tavern, formerly The Fullbrook. I had much love for The Fullbrook and wrote about it in my first ever blog which you can catch here.

It never reopened as The Fullbrook after lockdown 2, and my last visit was on New Years Day 2020. According to Facebook I left at 2.56 to make the 3pm kick off at Bescot and afterwards myself, Josh, Lyndsey, Laura, Pez, Asps, Ross, and Swill had a good sesh.

After a long time of being dormant it reopened as Soho Tavern in September 2024. I wanted to go straight away, and my mate Kimbo who I think is on a mission to visit every Desi Pub in the Midlands, went on day 2. But I didn’t. Maybe I was scared to see what they’d done to the place I held so dear. I wrote The Gospel Of Fearing Change. I didn’t even want to see pictures from inside. But after 14 months, it was time to go.

Swill had already been and raved about it but had also been turned away twice due to it being full. On this occasion it was the final of Celebrity Traitors so I hoped that might put some folk off from venturing out.

Naturally I fannied around outside trying to get a photo, none of which came out well. Walking in and it was disorientating. Not a single internal fragment of The Fullbrook remained. Sat in the window were a large group demolishing food. My mind drifted to the night that Paul Mitchell and I sat in the same window circa 1995 watching stools being launched across the room. Paul’s missus Cara worked behind the bar at the time and thought we were nutters for just sitting and watching a big brawl.

We were taken into the back room, in an extension that wasn’t there previously. Menus came out. There was initial confusion as Swill didn’t realise that he had a vegan menu. He got a meaty one and perused. “What’s Methi Chicken?” he asked. I didn’t know the answer but when has that ever bothered me? “Oh, that’s chicken that has been cooked in Methanol to give it a crisper, cleaner finish. It’s beautiful” I replied. “Really?” “No. I made it up. I’ve no idea.” He didn’t order it.

No Nargis Kebab which cost them a point but they did have Lollipop Chicken that I’ve only even seen in the curry house in Eastcote. They were great that time but Swill said that the chicken tikka is amazing in here so we agreed to share one of those. I went for chicken tikka curry and cheese naan. We had to go up to the counter, at the front of the open plan Kitchen. The bar is separate which Swill rushed off to take advantage.

We had one poppadum each which came quickly and our actual food arrived while we were still eating those. Can’t fault the service. Food was ace. Really tasty, presented well too with even a piece of carrot cut into a flower.

Something happened that was a total first. I couldn’t finish it. I know I eat much less than I used too but my stomach must have shrunk. I had to ask for a doggie bag to take some. Although in other places the food is taken away and presented in a nice foil tray as I’ve seen this done millions of times. Here I was just given two plastic trays and a paper bag. “Oh, ok. I’ll just decant it myself.” I blame the biscuit that I got with my coffee for filling me up.

Swill grabbed another pint and we had a chat. He also took to AI to make some videos from pictures of the evening. “AI has changed your face a bit” he said. “I have absolutely no problem with that.” A waitress came round and said it was last orders for drinks at 10.30 which for me really hammered the final nail into The Fullbrook’s coffin.

Great visit. Sad to see The Fullbrook as was is no more. Yes it had a reputation. Yes there could have been a sign behind the bar saying “days since last punch up” with a zero in semi permanent marker but it was home. The Walsall FC matchday isn’t the same without it but at least it’s back in use and the food is good.

Epic night, and Swill didn’t lose anything which was also a first. Cheers for suggesting this fella. He wants to do more unusual stuff. Intrigued as to what he’ll come up with next. After guns and curry, it could be anything. .

Last Sunday my beloved Walsall FC had our first round F.A Cup tie away at Eastleigh. A team I don’t believe that we have played before, who are currently mid table in The Conference, the top tier of non league and the division one step below us. Cup shock was written all over this hence it being shown live on BBC2

It was a ground tick, and I’ve not done an away game in the F A Cup since Jan 2016 – the beautiful win away at Brentford and revenge over our former manager Dean Smith. I had to research that before typing. Shocking on my part that it’s been that long.

I don’t think I’ve been on a coach to an away match since a friendly at Luton in 2016, at a time when we were above them in the football pyramid. This trip to Eastleigh was my first time travelling with Craig Swain’s away day service and the coach picks up outside the Town Hall which is ideal. I wasn’t late but was pretty much one of the last to board. We were away bang on time.

A short while into the journey Heart 80’s was was put on the radio. I could have had a million guesses but would never had said that Taylor Dayne “Tell It To My Heart” would be the first song that I heard on the day. As per the coach journey on Theydon Bois day, I didn’t want to be the first to use the toilet and after 48 minutes (I timed it) it got it’s first customer and I could relax.

Halfway down Swainy donned his outfit for the day. Chucky from the Child’s Play movie which was a bit bizarre but funny in equal measures as he moved up and down the coach.

“Chucky” came round doing a football card. Inspired by Tommy’s win on Early Door, I went for Huddersfield. Fulham won.

I needn’t have thought about being the first to use the coach loo, I made it to the pub Saints Bar in Southampton without going. I was joined at a table by Kimbo and his missus Kirsty She crashed the Red Leicester Mini Cheddars at one point and offered the pack to me. Unfortunately I’d gone into stand by mode, whilst staring at the television and I left her hanging. Sorry Kirsty. I accepted and had a couple to make up for it.

Pub was great, decked out with Southampton FC paraphernalia, and also skeletons, broomsticks and witches hats which I hope were just left over from the Halloween celebrations. Jukebox was playing random stuff with “Bank Robber” by The Clash the standout tune.

At Ten Acres – Eastleigh’s ground (known as Silverlake Stadium for sponsorship reasons) there is a Papa Johns pizza stall outside, which would have tempted me had I not just polished off my Tesco meal deal – first time I’ve taken an Innocent Smoothie to an away game. I noticed there is access to the Manager’s Office from outside the ground which must get interesting during tough times. The club are known as The Spitfires which is just one of the best nickname going.

As I approached the turnstiles the madman that is Rob Harvey randomly popped in my head and I wondered if he would be attempting. This was quickly answered as he was the first person I saw in the ground.

It’s a decent ground. Better than some Football League ones and the refreshment bar was very well stocked. I soon dived on a steak pie. Nice to see Jayne, Ryan, Mark and Daz before kick off.

Rob and I opted to stand not on the terrace but by the Pie Shack right by a sign saying that we couldn’t stand there. Rob asked how long it would take for us to be told to move. I went for 8 minutes whilst he went for 6 minutes 33 seconds. I admired the preciseness of his answer and I aspire to be more specific with any future guesses that I make.

We took the lead after 5 minutes. I nearly missed the goal as I was putting my pie debris in the bin but made it back just in time. Midway through the half an Eastleigh had an attacking throw in and the bloke was stood right next to me as he assessed his throwing options. Suddenly I realised I might be live on BBC2 to an audience of millions. I felt a bit awkward and I think I just grinned like a gormless berk. I know not if I made it on screen but apologies if my face put the nation off their Sunday dinners.

Late in the half Rob told me to have some nachos which I declined as I’m not Peter Crouch, however I offered to shout the coffee, he said “yes” and I went to march off before realising we had a attacking free kick. We missed it and Rob said “we’d have scored if you had been grabbing the drinks.”

Half time I saw Paul, Simon, Matt Stcky (who told me that he had responded to my review of Casa Gurkha in Brownhills by going and loved it, I’m coming with you next time Stacky, I need to fill that loyalty card) and Sarah who I assumed was on our coach and was worried she’d missed it when she didn’t get off it at the pub. She’d gone on a different one so all good. I saw Luke and Rob on the way to the loo with Robs hair looking great as he grows it for his Cancer Research fundraiser. I also saw Michael Lees in the loo which despite being like a potacabin was also decked out with Dyson Airblade style hand dryers. Apologies to anyone that I’ve missed.

I stuck my beanie hat on for the second half. Knowing that the match was on television I had to wear something white to look sexy for the cameras and it was the beanie hat that got the nod. It’s a bit Craig David and as he’s from round these parts, I hoped he’d appreciate it if he saw me on the box.

We were attacking our end in the second half. Behind the goal was split between some of fans and some of Eastleighs and the banter was good. I thoroughly enjoyed the Eastleigh fans chants of “you dirty Northern bastards.”

We eventually ran out 3-0 winners. Chucky could be clearly seen celebrating the second goal which must have looked great for the tv audience. Job done, banana skin avoided and pleasing as after we scored the first, Eastleigh took control and could have had 3 or 4. I put this down to us making it look good for the tv audience but it was a decent cup tie and full credit to Eastleigh. Decent club and I hope they do well this season. The ladies in Pie Shack were great and deserve a mention. I also saw all the goals, including the third which wasn’t visible on tv due to the Sun coming out.

The coach driver didn’t fuck about on the way back and we were in Walsall for 7.30. Walking past Golden Moments their Sunday buffet was in full swing and my favourite starter white chicken tikka was on. I had to drag myself away. I’m back on self administered austerity measures at the moment so had noodles at home instead. I think this was evident as I spent more at the Pie Shack in the ground than I did in the pub.

Cracking day. Cheers to Swainy for organising the coach and to Swill for sorting my ticket and travel. Bring on Gateshead (a) in the second round. Last time we played them it was a 3-0 away league defeat in 1960, as we won the 4th Division title and they they were voted out of The Football League. Bring it on.

Stop press. Ok, because I’m sad and have got absolutely no life, I’ve now been on the BBC I-Player to watch the game back, just to see if I was on tele for that throw in. Simple answer is sort of. The camera was our side of the ground so it was a side on shot of the throw in and you could just see the side of my head, and I had my black hood up as it was peeing down. (BBC weather app had said 8% chance of rain in Eastleigh at that point. However in the shot below as the 3rd goal went in, you can just see my white beanie hat in between the Papa Johns sign and the Pie Shack. Don’t think I can claim an appearance fee for that though.

The Fingerpost – Norton Road, Pelsall. Reviewed 26/10/25.

It was payday weekend, I was on the seated leg press in the gym and getting peckish. I decided to go and have a Sunday dinner and thought I’d give The Fingerpost a whirl as I hear the ongoing bridge work outside is being a pain in the arse to them.

The number 8 was on time and for the second day in a row I got to enjoy the bizarre re-route. At least it was light this time and I was prepared for it unlike the day before when I was travelling to Rushall for a food review and was completely baffled. It’s one hell of a diversion, going up Broadway North, Sutton Road, Longwood Lane and Mellish Road just to avoid the road outside the Arboretum but it felt like I was getting proper value for my bus fare. I’d just go though The Butts but not sure if that is allowed. I aint Sally Traffic you know..

I got off the bus at the correct stop, novel for me yeah, and took a gentle stroll to the pub. Been in the pub loads of times but not for food and I hadn’t booked so hoped they could fit me in. As I ambled I may have wandered too close to the construction site as suddenly I heard an automated voice saying “this is a restricted area.” Well I hope it’s automated anyway as it’s a crap voice – almost as bad as mine. I was too hungry for breaching restrictions so I marched on.

I was seated at a “reserved” table for 4 which I felt slightly awkward about but hoped it wouldn’t cause a kerfuffle. Peruse menu time then. Always exciting. One course is £13.95, 2 is £17.95, and 3 is £21.95. Bloody hell, this review is in danger of being a bit “informative”. Normal service will be resumed shortly, I’m sure.

Anyway, nobody goes out for 1 course do they? I was going for two. But then again, having all 3 is the most economical. Go on then. I do not need much persuading to go into “Been Paid, Must Spend Mode.”

First up was Prawn Cocktail served on an array of salad. I’d never squeezed lemon onto Prawn Cocktail before but as a slice was provided I did just that. It was great. I even ate most of the salad. Sorry, I should have warned you to be seated before hitting you with that bombshell.

Next up was the roast pork dinner. Now when I go for Sunday dinner at Katz or Walsall Arms, they know the drill No vegetables. As it was busy in here I didn’t want to waste the waitresses time by explaining this and to be honest I couldn’t be arsed so dinner was served with all he trimmings. I don’t eat veg. Hated them since I was a kid, but on the this occasion I didn’t want the serving staff to think I was a nob by not eating them. So I had a go, leaving the good stuff till last as a reward. And it was all fine. My stomach must have been shouting “oi. We don’t do nutrients”That’s where my mom went wrong all those years ago, should have got waitresses to serve Sunday dinner.

The dinner was ace. Halfway through, the party on the next table were presented with a cake and they all sang “Happy Birthday.” Normally I’d have put my stage show voice on and joined in but I had a mouthful of pork and I can’t make everything all about me. Dessert was placed down and announced as “Eton Mess Lemon Meringue.” This was good as well.

This was a great visit. Service good, food excellent and staff friendly and courteous. Loved it. Place was bustling and the atmosphere jovial. Music was mainly old school with Billy Joel “She’s Always A Woman” being the pick. At the bar when I went to pay, the guy being served rounded his order off with a pack of scampi fries and pork scratchings. Despite what I’d just shovelled down me, I was l a bit envious, and I still have half a big jar of Cool Hog scratchings in my Living Room.

I left full, happy and quickly reassured that I was in a restricted area. If you’re reading this on a Sunday and pondering dinner, let the fingerpost on the corner of Norton Road, point you in the direction of this great pub (3 real ales on too if that’s your thing).

Grazie Mille – 68 Bridge Street. Reviwed 31/10/25.

It was Halloween. It’s a family tradition that dates back centuries that on Halloween, visiting trick or treaters are avoided by being out of the house. I come from a long line of miserable sods. Eager to keep this going I decided to visit Grazie Mille at the top f Bridge Street, across the road from Flan O’Briens.

This was New Ruby, a Chinese for years, stood empty a long time then became Chop & Wok which didn’t last long. I didn’t manage to tick that off that incarnation and to be honest I couldn’t remember the name and had to use the date function of Google Maps Streetview to recall it.

It opened as Grazie Mille ( Italian for a thousand thanks) Authentic Neapolitan Pizzeria on Valentines Day this year. I had no need to book a table that night but have been wanting to pop in.

There were two tables with chairs outside which I wasn’t quite feeling. Inside it was stylish, atmospherically lit with a nice soundtrack of continental music. It was certainly a bit different to my sole visit when it was The Ruby.

There was a warm welcome and I was quickly seated, with a candle lit for me. I’ve got to be honest I didn’t give the menu the thorough examination that was required as (a) I was hungry and wanted to order asap and (b) I was in a rush as there was a great sounding band on at Katz that I wanted to see from the off.

I just went for Pancetta Aglio described as classic garlic bread with crispy Pancetta. It arrived quickly and much to my surprise and delight I got a pizza cutter. This was exciting. I have never used one and it quickly showed. By the 3rd slice though I was cutting like a diva.

Food was really good. The garlic bread and a bottle of Coke Zero (it’s not licensed) came to £12 which I was happy with. The bill came with two chocolate biscuity things which earned them bonus points.

As I paid I had a quick chat and he explained a bit of the transformation of the place from what it was and how the festive menu launches on the 5th of November with a bacon and Brie pizza and also one called “Pigs Too Hot For Blankets.” both of which sound amazing. He handed me a 20% off my next visit voucher, which I shall be using. I am very easily bought, so that festive menu will be sampled.

Good visit this, a thousand thanks to them. As a Halloween eat, it was no tricks and all treat. It’s open 5pm to 10pm Wednesday to Saturday and 4pm till 8pm on Sundays if you want to visit.

The band McScraggy And The Suits at Katz were excellent. Probably one of the best Halloweens ever.

These reviews all come within walking distance of the number 10 bus. Thought it would be nice to have a bit of structure to one of these articles. Possibly the only structure I’ll get in my life anytime soon.

Casa Gurkha – 125 High Street, Brownhills. Reviewed 30/09/25.

I had an unplanned daysaver, sold to me by a lovely lady at Canley Railway Station that morning, burning a hole in my pocket. It needed some use. I’d been pondering this blog for a month or so so it was time to get started.

The number 10 was on time, the weather was pleasant and I got off the bus at the wrong stop. The waitress was very smiley and welcoming as I walked in. She seemed slightly taken aback at my request for a table for 1. I must take a lady with me next time. Ladies, feel free to apply. I don’t bite honest. Well, I do when munching for these bizarre articles but you get my drift.

Anyway, I was seated and the lady offered me the drink menu first. As it was a school night, and I was back at work after a 4 day weekend in the morning I was good and had sugar free Apple Tango.

I’d already looked at food online and my first comment is it’s cheap. £8.95 for a chicken curry? Come on. That’s 2008 pricing. Not that I was complaining. That was quickly ordered along with a Amritsari Fish Pakora starter and garlic cheese naan to keep the main course company.

Food came quickly and the fish was epic. Nicely spiced and I was soooo impressed I also made an effort to eat all of the salad. God I’ve changed. The curry was great, the naan delightful and again the spoon was trawled along the bottom in a bid to not leave anything.

Chocolate was provided with the bill which is always an important part of the review and then came the absolute plus point. They do a reward scheme. Never known that in a curry house before. You know I said earlier for ladies to apply to come with me? Well now it’s got serious. I need to go back. Numerous times.

I jest but this was a great visit. Food epic and served quickly and the waitress was friendly, polite and attentive. And I’m only 9 meals away from a free main course.

I got the number 8 back as it came first and I was feeling old and full. Back in my house at 8.10. Result.

Foodelicious Cafe – 31 High Street, Walsall Wood. Reviewed 04/10/25.

Storm Amy was in town. I was always taught that the best thing to do during a storm is venture out for breakfast at a cafe that you’ve not been to before so I did just that.

Foodelicious is another place that I’ve learned about on Brownhills Bob (along with Casa Gurkha). I’ve been to Walsall Wood many times but never spotted this place. Well, it is opposite a pub so it doesn’t really stand a chance of me seeing it. I only have eyes for pubs. We had however exchanged pleasantries the weekend before. They had posted in said group about finding a pink power bank outside the premises and I replied saying that I now had “pink power bank” in my head to the tune of “Pink Pony Club” by Chappell Roan in my head. They responded with humour so I decided to pay them a visit. I was going to a curry house for the Walsall Wood arm of this blog, but I’m easily swayed.

The no 10 was in a good mood and departed bang on time. It was the emptiest I’ve ever seen it though. Clearly folk had better things to do at 8.20 on a Saturday morning in the middle of a storm.

I was singing pink power bank to myself as i entered. There was a friendly greeting from the lad behind the counter and a bit of footie chat when he spotted my Walsall shirt which I appreciated.

I went for the large breakfast which was £8.20. Same figure as the bus time which was a bit spooky. If correlation between bus time and breakfast price actually was a thing, I’d be getting the bus at 4.00 every week.

There were some nice looking cakes under the counter which I resisted as I’m trying to lose weight, honest. It’s not a big place and there are only a few table and chairs but it’s nice and intimate really.

There is a chair right next to the freezer if you don’t fancy breakfast but just want to dip in that for ice cream.

Food came quickly and was top notch. I even had a chat with a fellow customer and it was a good visit. Great place this.

Didn’t have to wait long for the 10 back and my fence was still erect when I got home. All good.

Shelfield Fish Bar – 77 Lichfield Road, Shelfield. Reviwed 10/10/25.

I had to be at Rushall Labour Club on the night for a party so decided on a bit of extra 10 action and head to this place then bus back into party time.

This was another first time visit. I knew of the place from that viral response to a complaint. If you’ve not seen it, it’s below and brilliant. Now under new management so I guess that owner is long gone.

Another very friendly welcome upon entry. For some reason I couldn’t decide what I wanted. Everything sounded great. I wanted something substantial but not calorie heavy. Yeah good luck with that. I’d even turned down a doughnut at work earlier in the day as I was coming here and that raised several eyebrows, mine included.

I felt like a nob taking so long to decide, and even the young lady behind the counter asked “is it your first time here?” I said yes before adding meekly, “I’m not from round here” making it sound like I’d made some massive pilgrimage rather than just heading over from the outskirts of Caldmore.

They do Digans Pizzas. This intrigued me but not enough to have one. In the end I opted for the £5 kebab meat and chips and chucked in a 60p scallop to try and justify handing over a £10 note. Next came the magical question “Battered or plain chips?” Life rule – never turn down battered chips so that was easily answered. She then asked what sauce I wanted on the kebab and she went through the whole range before I decided that I didn’t want any of them. Apologies for that.

The chips were amazing. Scollop great and I never have kebab meat nowadays so that was good.

The number 10 gave me enough time to eat before arriving, and I was half an hour early in Rushall and after a couple of Parma Violets to freshen the breath I was party ready.

Top visit this, lass serving was great and the party was brilliant too. Good start to the weekend.

Lucky House – 33 Pelsall Lane, Rushall. Reviewed 25/10/25.

The number 10 was busy of a Saturday evening. It was dark and I wasn’t really paying attention to the route. Suddenly I saw a Toby Carvery. Had one suddenly been built between Walsall and Rushall? I was puzzled. The next stop screen hadn’t changed from Victoria Terrace for a while. A short while later I saw the Peugeot garage near Aldridge. I glanced around. No other passenger seemed concerned that we were not on the correct route and I started to think I was on the wrong bus.

Suddenly it stopped and a hold up ensued whilst a man tried to work out if we were by The Dilke or The White House. Neither of which are on the no 10 route. He got off and I deduced we were heading up Mellish Road. We went round the island at the top and the next stop thing kicked in again. “Number 10 to Brownhills West.” One hell of a diversion. Wish the driver had shouted up before departure.

There was a friendly welcome inside Lucky House and I asked for King Prawn Sweet & Sour Crispy Balls. I was offered a choice of sauce other than the standard sweet & sour.BBQ, gravy and curry sauce was also on the table. Thrown but impressed I opted for the curry variant. I hadn’t planned on anything else but having been stressed out by hat bizarre bus journey I decided I needed a treat. I’d already handed over my money but asked “do you do chicken wings?” Again, she went through options. The lemon sauce sounded amazing but I went for salt and chilli and I’m not really sure why. It came to £15.70.

There is no television, covid screens still present (with little doors in that open for chats and merchandise handover). There is very ornate seating. A 3 person bench and a pair of seats, so if you want to pretend to be King & Queen with your partner whilst food waiting, this is the place to go.

Food came quickly, and I cheated on the way back getting the number 8 as it came first. No strange diversion this time but I clocked on the way back that Lichfield Street by The Arboretum is currently one way due to road works, hence the big tour on the outbound journey.

No food pictures this time as by the tine I’d walked over Church Hill to get home I didn’t want it to get colder. I demolished it quickly, stopping only to ask Alexa what a great song on Radio X was (The Great Escape by We Are Scientists if you’re interested).

I got free prawn crackers (checking the menu later as I type this, I qualified for these by 60p, which just radiates deep joy within me. I also got a free fortune cookie, which is now in my Kitchen keeping the two that I brought home from Glossop company.

The chicken wings were amazing but I still want to try the lemon ones, and crispy king prawn balls with curry sauce really works which was a relief as I’d started to get sceptical on he number 8. Another great visit.

That’s it for this one. Nice to make first time visits to 4 more places. Big congratulations too to Chappell Roan (or Kayleigh Rose Amstutz to give her her proper name in case it comes up in a quiz). She waited patiently for a mention on this blog then gets one two weeks running. Can she get a hat trick though? Stay tuned to find out. Thanks for reading, as always.

There was much to do last Saturday, culminating on the night with a trip to Tamworth to see my mate Sean’s band perform. I had missions first though. Bloxwich and back to Cool Hog the pork scratchings shop as they now do hot pork baps, and it was epic.

Then Tesco. First up was to claim my first ever Euro Millions win. A whopping £2.60 for getting two main numbers. I was 35% embarrassed at collecting such a small amount and 65% they aint bloody keeping it. Although the ticket had been in my wallet unchecked since July, so I hoped it was still valid. It wasn’t so long ago I had a £1 scratchcard go out of date as I left it so long to collect. Yeah it was only a quid but that’s two samosas. Anyway the ticket worked and it’s another £2.60 into the Gibraltar fund. I must say though that the Euro Millions is shit. I only play it when it’s the 10 guaranteed millionaires thing. You have to jump through hoops to get £8. Aint nobody got time for dat.

Whilst in Tesco I went a bit crazy as per normal. I bloody love shopping and would do it all the time if I had the money. Also as per usual there was someone with a trolley in the basket shop checkout area. They got the standard narrow eyed stare as I marched past.

Sean is a great singer, and I’ve seen him in action so many times, both when we were performing in stage shows together in AMCS and of course as the lead singer of a band. I’ve seen him in 3 different bands now. Destroyed Beyond Belief, Rock Revolver and his present one Delayed Response. I first saw his current line up when they played at the reopening of The Watering Trough in Walsall. I didn’t see much of the second half of that night as it was that busy I couldn’t get served. The second time was also at The Trough. This time I could get served, got absolutely twatted and can remember very little other than dancing around in front of the band on my own like a nob.

So this would be my third time seeing Delayed Response putting them on level terms with some of my favourite artists that I’ve seen that amount of times like Belinda Carlisle, Boy Kill Boy and Maroon 5. I was very excited so to calm things down upon putting the shopping away I chilled out with a mug of green tea and put on a bit of Lana Del Ray.

On the train and as we pulled into New Street the conductor announced where the lifts on the platform are located, following up with “as the escalator probably won’t be working as per usual.” Regular readers of this blog will know of my disdain for the non working escalators at New Street so I loved this comment. They were working by the way.

On the busy train to Tamworth, I offered my seat to 4 women and they all turned me down. The last one though, when the train jolted turned around, pointed at my lap and said “I might end up on there in a minute.” “That’s perfectly fine with me” I replied which got a big laugh from her and her friends. You know, I might finally be getting good at talking to strangers. 2023 me would never had said that.

The gig was at The Crafty Two. Sean and his partner Sammy’s favourite pub. It’s where the three of us used to record our podcast The Long And Shot Of It, but I’ve only been there once since that finished, when Tamworth hosted Walsall in a pre season friendly in August last year. I’d never tried to find it in the dark, but hey I know the way yeah?

My trouble is, when I walk I start thinking about shit and not concentrating where I’m going. Once – in Blackpool I left everyone in the pub and decided to save money and walk back to the hotel for an early night. I ended up walking miles and having to pay £7 in a taxi to be driven back the way I’d walked.

On this walk I saw a petrol station. This wasn’t good. I’ve never seen a petrol station in Tamworth. Never thought about it but assumed they had them. I decided to take a couple of right turns and that would put me in the right direction. Like so many of my other great ideas it went tits up. After a decent walk I ended up back at the railway station.

I tried again, taking a different turn and got completely lost. I had to find a George to ask, and you know I hate asking for help but this was getting urgent. Fortunately someone pointed me in the right direction. I hit the town centre in a completely different direction so it was a big relief to see Santander as this helped me get my bearings.

Turning the corner toward the pub and although I needed no further clarification that I was nearly there, I could hear Sean singing from down the road. As I walked in he was belting out “won’t you please help me?” which I thought was quite apt in the circumstances.

The bar area was very busy so I grabbed a drink and found an empty chair in the back where I could still enjoy the music. We had a rendition of “Proud Mary” which I absolutely loved as a kid so this was the highlight. Final song of this set was Turning Japanese, another classic from my childhood which really came into it’s own during my teenage years. The place was bouncing due to the fine entertainment but also I suspect as the locals may have been celebrating Tamworth FC qualifying for the first round of the FA Cup that afternoon..

At the half time I was waiting for people to go loo and cigarette smoking so I could move into the main area but Zoey en route I assume for the loo spotted me, fetched Sean’s partner Sammy who came and led me into the bar.

I caught up with Sean during the break. I’d seen him at a wedding night in August and he said he was planning to ask Sammy to marry him in December and asked if I would be his best man, which really shocked me. He knows hundreds of people so was surprised he picked me but I was absolutely delighted. At this point he said he was bringing the proposal forward to tonight. I was glad I’d came.

I took the opportunity to take some pub pictures, Sean commenting “are you being a tourist?” He knows the score. The place was decked out in Halloween attire, and there was a big television showing scenes of Motocross riders coming off their bikes which grabbed my attention. Normally I wouldn’t have given it a second look but following my first trip to watch Speedway recently at the Birmingham Brummies last ever match at Perry Barr as reported here, I gave it a watch.

Second half started with a bit of Black Sabbath. I got an “alright Evo?” over the mic from Sean which I absolutely loved. I confirmed that I was. At one point he sang the opening lines to “Pink Pony Club” by Chappell Roan before cutting it short and going into rock mode again. If he had started her current song “The Subway”, which I bloody love, I’d have been up there and finished it myself.

There was a belting rendition of “Alive” by P.O.D and the final song of the night was “99 Red Balloons” and then came the main event. Other than film and tv I’ve only ever seen one live marriage proposal which was in The Fitters back in the day, and I missed some of it as I was in the loo. I wasn’t sure how serious it was but the wedding didn’t happen and they are not together anymore.

Sean started with a little speech about how wonderful it was having so many loved ones here and then called Sammy forwarded. He went down one one knee and she said “yes” it was amazing and very emotional. To quote Monty Python And The Holy |Grail “there was much rejoicing.” On came “Learn To Fly” by Foo Fighters which is epic but this gave way to Elton John’s “Can You Feel The Love Tonight?” which was a bit more appropriate.

I saw Sean shortly afterwards and he said “sorry geezer, this is the one night it couldn’t be all about you.” What a line. Made me laugh. I didn’t mind. I’m happy to share the limelight on special occasions.

Many congratulations Sean and Sammy. I can’t wait to be a part of your big day. This will be my 5th time as a best man and it’s such an honour. There ares some right plans to be made.

A quick check on the National Rail app suggested I wasn’t going to make the train home, so I asked Sean to sort me an Uber which he happily did. It came while I was in the loo. Standard. It was a proper sexy vehicle. Individual seats inside. Don’t ask the make or model. I could identify a 1980’s era Renault (especially the 4, 5, 11, 12, 20 and Feugo) but modern cars? Absolutely no chance.

It took half an hour to get back, the taxi driver did not want to chat – fine with me and it only cost £20. Can’t argue with that. Thought it would be double that. Especially as in a standard taxi it’s now £7 to get from Tesco in Walsall back to my house – even with a 45 minute wait which happened recently.

Fab night, great set and here’s to the soon to be Mr & MNrs Westwood. Sean, I think we need one of our renditions of “Caravan Of Love” on the big day.

Monday, September 29th, Craig and myself were both off work and we arranged to go to Kenilworth to tick off the new JD Wetherspoons pub there which opened in July.

At Walsall Railway Station I asked for a return to Tile Hill, requesting the return for the next day. For the second visit to Craig’s house on the bounce I was told this wasn’t possible and that I’d have to buy two singles. It’s plausible I guess but I actually think it’s bollocks. Two singles means more cost. I always use the ticket office when doing local trips but from now on I might just go trainline where open return is a standard request.

At New Street the escalator was working which was good because I’d damaged my left knee a couple of weeks earlier doing that highly dangerous but thoroughly exciting task of walking down my stairs. It still hasn’t forgiven me but is on the mend. I was glad to not need to walk up that bad boy again (I’d forgotten about the lifts).

At Tile Hill I met Craig and he set off to Kenilworth. This was a maiden voyage for me but he has been regularly for quiz nights and he took on the role of tour guide as he drove along. He drove through Burton Green and explained about how they’d got a new village hall as the old one was demolished for HS2. I commented that there didn’t seem enough houses for a village hall. He agreed saying, “yeah, I’m not sure if this is classed as a village or a hamlet. What’s the difference between a village and a hamlet?” “That’s easy” I replied “one is where people live, the other is a type of cigar.”

Driving along and it became apparent that Kenilworth is somewhat out of my price range. Very nice place though. A bit of sightseeing was first on the cards. We pulled up at Kenilworth Castle. Craig had a blog challenge for me which he piped up with here. “Why don’t you see how many Duran Duran song titles you can get in today’s blog?” He was well aware of why we were visiting the new Wetherspoons on a Monday just so I could do the play on words of my favourite song of theirs New Moon On Monday for the title. I’m no Duran Duran expert. Whilst my friend Shaz has seen them in concert probably as many times as Yasmin Le Bon has, I know a handful of their songs. Please bear with me now as I go and make a mug of tea and study their discography on Wikipedia for a bit.

We admired the castle and I posed for obligatory photos (which I opted not to publish as my t-shirt looks like a maternity dress). The top of the castle must have provided a great view to a kill for the home team when attacking forces arrived.

We found a side street and parked up. Craig paid for 90 minutes deducing that that would be enough. He’d clearly forgetting that he was with me and my fondness for fannying around. Today this consisted of crossing the road to take photos but then also going for close up shots too. I also – to kill a bit more time, used the worlds dimmest cashpoint. I’ve heard of energy saving light bulbs but are energy saving cashpoints now a thing? Is there something I should know? All helps towards net zero I guess.

Inside The Dictum Of Kenilworth, and well it’s all (and still feels) new. First thing that caught my eye was the Roman Numeral clock, correctly displaying 4 as IV, so points for that. We found a booth a perused the menu. Craig spotted that on Monday it’s 3 small plates for a tenner or so. Motion carried. I was all over that.

I don’t follow any Wetherspoons groups on Facebook but they pop up in that infuriating way that you get loads of pages unsolicited in your feed. The Wetherspoons Game is the one I see the most and I don’t mind this as it’s usually good looking women that post pics of themselves, along with pub name and table number then strangers send drinks via the app. I did say to Craig that I didn’t think we’d do as well on this as attractive ladies so we didn’t post our details.

Other groups are about the amount of chips served and the Wetherspoons carpet group as each pub has a unique one. When the food came I got Craig to count his jobs but he soon got bored and said “about 20”. We were against the clock, no time for counting fried potato products.

The food had come quickly, with one waitress carrying 3 plates and her colleague alongside holding one which we both thought was a bit unbalanced, The one carrying 3 had earned the right to take our picture which she happily did.

Craig liked the pub, commenting on the carpet being vomit stain clean but wasn’t so keen on the waterfall painting around the skylight, which I loved.

The was still time for me to make a couple of raids on the coffee machine, with the first refill overflowing. I should have used the reflex and whipped the cup away but I was just watched dumbfounded, causing a man behind to ask if I wanted a Flake in that. Go on then George, go grab me one please, I felt like saying. If he’d said a Lion Bar I’d have frogmarched him to the local shop to take him up on this.

I opted for an iced latte on my final visit to the machine. I made my selection then turned away to survey the scene. Turning back I saw a message “have you bought a glass and ice from the bar?” No I bloody haven’t. I went back to normal latte, just to be less of a ponce of course.

We made it back to the meter in time and headed back to Craig’s house. En route we had a look at some of the HS2 works which is decimating the local greenery and at one point he announced that we were on Kenilworth Road which surprised me as I thought that was in Luton.

At Craig’s, he got busy making me a cuppa and also putting the washing on, but not before announcing he hadn’t got enough for a full load and asked if I’d brought any dirty laundry with me, which funnily enough I hadn’t. I made a mental note to bring a bag full next time. I’m partial to airing my dirty laundry in public, but I’ve never taken it to a friends house. Crags, get a box of Daz in. I’m bringing a white wash round.

We headed to a local pub for the quiz. Early impressions were good with Rock The Casbah (The Clash) and It’s The End Of the World As We Know It (REM) being amongst the first songs played.

Craig entered the quiz with the standard name of The Usual Suspects. He could have gone for The Wild Boys to help me out with his Duran Duran challenge. Talking of team names, back in the day Craig and I went to a charity quiz. It was at the time when former MP Jacqui Smith was in the news as her husband had watched some naughty films. I called our team “Jacqui Smith’s DVD Collection” which got a big laugh from the room.

Anyway, back to this edition. Craig did all the work as per normal. I think I contributed one answer, knowing that Ljubljana is the capital of Slovenia. I once impressed a barmaid from said country by knowing that was the capital of it. We didn’t swap numbers. Imagine the cost of calling there. That would be an after 6pm jobbie.

The last round was a tv theme tune round. It was the same one as the night before which was odd. If I could have got away with repeating quiz rounds when I was quiz master at The Fitters I’d have been all over it. Eddie and Joan in the classic quiz show episode of Early Doors would have also been over a quiz being repeated.

Craig, by his own admission was “bollocksed” the night before and thus couldn’t remember all the answers. We come undone by not knowing the theme tune to Joe 90 (a nickname I hated at primary school due to being the only glasses wearer). A couple of themes were obvious by repeated references to the title (South Park and Fresh Prince Of Bel Air). At the end of the round the quizmaster asked for any repeat requests. I urged Craig to ask for number 5. He was puzzled. “We’ve got it.” “I know. I just want to hear it again. It’s a great piece of music.” Thankfully another team asked for it, but I still nearly asked for it a 3rd time. It was The Crystal Maze if you’re wondering.

We came second by a point. Bloody Joe 90. Craig is notorious for not being happy when not winning but was okay this time, blaming himself for not remembering every answer from the previous nights last round.

The pub kitchen had been closed when we got in, which I had been planning on using. By the end of the quiz I was hungry like the wolf so we went to the local Tesco making it with minutes to spare. We filled a basket with snackage, Craig asked if I wanted a drink. I should have had a can of Rio to get another song title in but didn’t think. Neither of us were willing to buy a bag for life so we walked out with arms full of stuff which looked highly suspicious. Craig paid but let me have the Clubcard points. Cheers fella.

The following morning Craig dropped me off at Canley Railway Station and the very nice lady in the ticket office talked me into having a network day saver which would get me on all trains and buses all day for just 80p more than my train fare. I accepted and was already planning a mission to use it on, on the night. More of that another time. I bet she could have given a return for the next day.

I was soon on the train heading back to Walsall, which and I know I’m biased is my favourite place on Planet Earth. Back in my home town I went to Tesco and the chilled reduced section had lots of stuff with some decent discounts. This took me by surprise and really caught me off guard so I panicked and filled my basket.

Superb time, cheers to Cragga for accompanying me and I can now tick Kenilworth off on my Big World Tour Of England.

And I make that 10 Duran Duran song titles included. Cheers for reading.

My alarm went off at 5.50 am last Saturday. 20 minutes later than when the seagulls in Blackpool had woken me a fortnight earlier and at least this time it was on my terms but it was still early for a day off. I had to be up and about though. I recently discovered how cheap coach travel is and as I was bothered by not visiting Bucket List Coffee in Eastcote during the Pinner/(Barnet (a) weekend, I decided to go back, with a side mission of heading to Essex to visit Theydon Bois for the first time to tick off two pubs.

I headed to Walsall Railway Station, questioning my life choices as the bus to Birmingham passes the bottom of my road. I usually only leave my house in the dark to go to work. This was leisure though so there was an albeit sleepy, spring in my step

At Digbeth, the coach was bang on time. As it was taxi-ing (not sure if this term works with coaches) the man on the seat across the aisle from me decided to start filming. As he panned across my face I gave him a smile. I was tempted to give him an invoice for filming rights and administration fees.

I hadn’t used the toilets at the coach station due to the 30p charge. Robbin bastards and all that. To quote the voice over man on Dragons Den “I walked away from the deal.” I didn’t want to be the first on the coach to use the onboard facilities as everyone would point and throw things so it was a big relief when someone else went first. I noticed that each time someone went, the man across the aisle would turn and watch them move up the coach. Although after his earlier antics I was surprised that he didn’t follow them in and film them.

It was disappointing there wasn’t a coach wide sing song like in the film Trains, Planes and Automobiles. There must have been some people on board going to the Oasis gig at Wembley that could have got a rendition of Acquiesce going.

I had bought a copy of Viz (which I’ve not done since 2013) and the plan was to read it on board but it was a bit gloomy so I decided to unwind. I don’t often get time to do nothing so I went into stand by mode. No Facebook or Twitter. I could have used this time to check the two lottery tickets in my wallet but I deduced that they’d keep. Those millions could wait another couple of months.

Further down the motorway I snapped back into the real world and jumped on social media. Josh timed this perfectly messaging with a somewhat random quiz question. “By law what is the minimum am-mount of pork that must be in a sausage?” I’ve got to be honest, I didn’t know. Capital of Greenland? I’d have been all over that but this was a no. I guessed and wasn’t far off. It’s 42%. Everyday is a school day eh? It’s always good to have gaps in my knowledge filled in even if I didn’t realise that said gap existed.

My coach was due in Victoria at 11.30. I’d done all my planning. Victoria Line to Oxford Circus, jump on Bakerloo Line to Baker Street, then hop on Metropolitan Line and head over to Eastcote. The night before though when researching, the website had advised of “severe delays ” on the Victoria Line.

At 10.30 we arrived at Golders Green. I pondered. Wikipedia is a God send. Within seconds I knew Golders Green had an underground station (it was across the way but obscured by the iconic red London buses). I could get the Northern Line to Euston, then stroll over to Euston Square – a path I know as well as my house to Bescot Stadium. Sod it. Let’s do that.

At Golders Green, there is Bar Linda. I really wish I’d taken a picture as it certainly looked my kind of place, and I believe it was open too. But I was hunting for the loo having not paid the 30p at Digbeth or gone on the coach in fear of being pointed at or filmed. Found the loo, jumped on the Northern Line, and by 11.20 I was on the Metropolitan Line hurtling towards Eastcote when theoretically I should have still been on the coach. I love it when a plan b comes together. Of course, this plan meant that I didn’t get to change at Baker Street. “Change at Baker Street” is slang for a sexual act so quite appropriate that I didn’t get to perform it. Story of my life.

There was a slight issue upon boarding the train though. A lady was severely nonplussed at me politely asking her to move her bag off the adjacent seat. She pulled a face but did so. I think her opinion of me worsened when I sat down, started reading Viz and laughed very loudly (at a couple of readers letters about farts).

As previously mentioned, in Eastcote I had one mission. Bucket List Coffee. I could have visited it on the Sunday that I was in town but I’m too cautious for my own good and opted to get to Euston “to make sure I got there in time”. I did. I had 90 minutes there, being asked for money and topping up the vitamin D levels in the sun.

It’s a smart place is Bucket List. I was warmly greeted and looked up at the menu. Sexy Latte jumped out at me so I opted for that. I perused the cakes and asked about a Lemon variant which there wasn’t so I went for a chocolate croissant as a nod to my French grandfather.

The place was relaxed. Music was provided by chilled out versions of hits with a great rendition of the Of Monsters & Men classic “Little Talks” being the pick. The toilet is a singe person unisex affair but it has the music playing within which would get my mate Swill’s seal of approval.

Coffee was great, as was the croissant along with the ambience. Good visit and glad I finally ticked it off. Was it worth all the jaunt though? Basically yeah. Will go again, not that I have any trips to Eastcote in the diary but you never know eh?

It was time to cross London. Metropolitan Line to Liverpool Street and then Central Line to Theydon Bois in Essex. Got to be honest, I’d not heard of Theydon Bois until a contestant on The Easiest Quiz on The Scott Mills Show on Radio 2 said he was from there. It was said of it being at the end of the Central Line and I duly added it to my to do list.

At Liverpool Street I paused on the platform to take pictures. I must have looked so touristy. We visited the pub at Liverpool Street on the Monopoly Pub Crawl in 2009, and the article on that weekend was my first attempt at non fiction writing. It’s the least read blog on my site and you can catch it here. I’d be overjoyed if it got some love. Anyway, I digress. After that pub visit in 2009 it was good to finally use Liverpool Street station for what it was designed for.

The first train that arrived was for Hainault on a different branch of the Central Line than the one I needed. Shame it was terminating there as the next station is Grange Hill, a tv show I loved as a kid. I’ve always wanted to recreate the opening credits by throwing a sausage at someone, although now with the knowledge gleaned earlier, I’d be checking the Pork content before deciding whether to launch it.

Soon I was on the way to Essex. I knew from Wikipedia that Theydon Bois has no street lights, although with the new trendy and very shit ones we have now in Walsall, I think we are trying to recreate this. I also was aware that David Sullivan the man behind the Sunday Sport newspaper is from the place. It did cross my mind if I might bump into him in a pub and maybe show him some of my writing. I’ve always fancied a weekly column in a newspaper.

First thing upon leaving the station drive is a curry house. The town planners have got it right here. Imagine come back from a night in London and making it into the curry house for last orders. Marvellous. I had a mooch about. There is a beauty shop called “Small And Cute” which I think describes me perfectly. Ok, I jest. I know the cute bit is absolute bollocks.

There are two butchers. I pondered playing them off against each other with the Pork content of their sausages but this quickly passed. There used to be 4 pubs, but this has been halved. One of the closed ones was called “Sixteen Stringed Jack” named after a local highway man who was hanged in 1774. You can’t beat a unique quirky pub name and it’s a shame that it got demolished.

Theydon Bois is a village in Epping Forest, it’s very picturesque and has a big stretch of green land where (I assume) they hold their annual Donkey Derby where local children race the animals and small wagers are allowed to be placed. Good job I wasn’t a kid round here. I tried riding a donkey in Blackpool when I was about 8 and was terrified.

Pub time. The Queen Victoria was first. A serving man eyed me suspiciously as I entered. To be fair, if i was working somewhere and someone like me walked in, I’d be suspicious. It did make me feel a bit guilty for some reason though and I was almost apologetic as I asked for a coffee. He was fine though and I soon had a drink and a nice table.

Before departure I used the loo. Urinals were busy so I popped in a cubicle and was greeted by something very strange. A solid toilet roll. Not seen one of these before and it threw me. I couldn’t cope with it. I usually pick up a loo roll, like I do a bowling ball. Must be a cardboard saving thing and I guess you get more roll instead of a big hole but come on. Polo Mints have holes, so should toilet rolls. Thinking about the bowling ball comparison, the way I bowl I’d be better of launching solid toilet rolls at the pins.

Next up was The Bull. I’d glanced at the two pub menus a couple of days before. The Bull does soup of the day with a sandwich combo for £10.50 which won the deal. I don’t do soup generally but with it now being Autumn I was game. I headed up the bar. The barmaid advised that the soup had just been changed and went off to find out what the new one was. This was far more pensive that I expected. What if it was sprout and cauliflower? I almost retched at the thought. I didn’t know soup pensiveness was a a thing. Sounds like a Manic Street Preachers song. You can have that one lads. Anyway the new soup was carrot and coriander. That with a fish finger baguette and a coffe was £14.50 Bargain. If you’re wondering why I’m on coffee, I didn’t want to be bursting for a toilet on the Underground. Bizarre yeah travelling all the way to Essex to visit two pubs and not drink? Who needs The Crazy World Of Arthur Brown when you got the baffling one of Mikee Evans?

Soup was great as was the baguette. Two good pubs these. Liked them both. Before departing this one I made another toilet visit. This one was a bit odd. Standing at the urinal and the window was open so I could see ladies walking past, and they could see me. And I think they knew what I was doing. None of them made eye contact.

I was soon back on the Central Line. Cheers Theydon Bois for a great couple of hours. I had to change at Mile End. It was just across the platform to pick up the District Line. I love the Underground. It’s a piece of piss to navigate. Even with my notoriously shit sense of direction. Going to plan b earlier in the day meant I was only using 4 of the lines rather than 5 but I still loved it. I was soon at Victoria. The signs for the coach station quickly dried up after leaving the Underground and I eventually found it via using one of those on street map things. I was glad I’d allowed myself 90 minutes for this mission as it wasn’t straightforward.

I’ve only used Victoria Coach Station on two previous occasions, so not familiar with the area so as I had time I went for a mooch around. I attempted to cross a road. Cars had stopped for red, I’d got the green man so stepped into the road. Admittedly I didn’t look right, and nearly had a coming together with a cyclist who’d decided that the red lights the cars had adhered too didn’t apply to him. Despite being in the wrong, he was not happy with me and made it very clear. I responded with 7 letters spread over two words. I’m not one for prolonged dialogue with people I don’t know. Exchange over we both went about our day.

After a stroll I discovered that I was on Buckingham Palace Road. I got excited. I’ve never seen that place live. I check another of the street maps. I was at one end of the road, Palace was at the other and it looked quite long. Like the lottery tickets in my wallet, I decided it’d keep. I’m sure it will still be there next time I’m in town. I’ve never actually done a touristy day in London so I need to get on that one day. Houses Of Parliament and Elizabeth Tower, London Eye and I’ve never been on a red London Bus. Get me on it.

I had a very pleasant amble around. I found a Shell petrol station and bought a sausage roll. I checked the pork content. I’d told Josh that this would be my new obsession, not that I need anymore of those. It was 25%. Not bad considering there is pastry to throw into the mix.

I was back inside the coach station at 5.50 in good time for the 6.30 departure. At said time though it came up on screen that it was delayed until .7.15. Typical. I could have gone to Bucking Palace after all and even had time to pop in for a cup of tea with Kate Middleton.

Eventually we departed at 7.23. Bit annoying when the coach had been parked outside, taunting us for at least 25 minutes. Journey back was uneventful. By the time we reached Birmingham I was yawning as loudly and regularly as when I’d recently watched The Long Walk at the cinema. The coach was actually going to Walsall. I’d only paid to get to Birmingham – I knew not of the Walsall stop. I’m really not one for fare dodging but as they’d been nearly an hour late in departing I thought they owe me not walking through Digbeth and waiting for the train back.

We were dropped off on Hatherton Street. At the rear of the coach my favourite taxi driver was loitering. I think we were both glad to see each other. He always does me a a decent price as he says I’m “a great guy”. I gave him a bigger tip than normal as he’d saved me walking through the bus station and hunting or a taxi.

Back home, the clock struck 23 and as my day entered its 17th hour I declared and went to bed. Fantastic day going on a 320 mile round journey for 3 coffees – no actually. Make it 4. I grabbed one from Greggs to kill some of the Victoria Coach Station “injury time”. I didn’t get up at 5.50 the next day.